Duke is CUTE! edition
- ESA equivalent taking place in Chicago.
- Meetup / marathon in Santa Ana, CA, March 18th - 20th
Greetings, Samson here from Sweden. Watching stiv destroy this game right now with my wife's son and we're both having a great time. Here's x dollars to kicking cancer in the butt, let's make it happen everyone. Remember to save the frames and kill the animals!
>explaining the joke at the bottom
this is why I fucking hate MRAs, they are the only group less funny or creative than american fudd gun owners
here, this image is instantly improved by just not explaining the fuckign joke like an autist
xth for trihex just can't beat caleb at ANYTHING
people must have a fucking checklist for what needs to be in their comment in order for it to be read
>childhood being destroyed
>my X died to cancer
>kick cancer's butt
>great job for a great cause
>long time watcher first time donator
I think she shouldn't have gotten drunk if she thought fucking someone other than her husband while drunk was a possibility. Just like you don't drink if you think you might drink and drive or drink and do any other stupid thing.
>le were not kidding!!! this shit is REAL
it's still poor form/style and could be improved immensely
literally reddit chain letter "AND THEN THE CLASS GOT UP AND CLAPPED" tier writing
>just found this site on my yahoo homepage and decided to donate $1000 to a great cause and because these games remind me of my childhood! I'm such a videogamer! Save those animals :P #AwesomeQuickGames <3
this is why you don't get married too young or to people that don't know how to fuck
she was obviously sexually repressed by that weirdo mormon kid
If she fucked while drunk it means she woulda fucked other people anyway the drinking just made her say "screw it" and did it. Alcohol doesn't mean you can't be held responsible for what you do. You chose to drink which its common knowledge that it lowers your inhibitions.
it's still written in a condescending way that will do the opposite of "redpill" any reader who was not already "redpilled" to it, and anyone who already knows this dynamic to be true is probably not all that interested in yet another poster about it (or rather, nothing useful is done by showing them a poster about it)
it's also dumb that it names specific organizations without any kind of source for the claim, and it's strictly an MRA meme that canada is some kind of radfem hellhole -- it's actually not like that here at all and cases of it happening are sparse exceptions that prove a general rule of legal fairness in the face of gender and sexuality
that poster is a completely useless work
what about this?
"Greeting from Germany!
I lost my wife to cancer 3 years ago and I just want to say that both me and her son thinks you're doing a great job for a great cause!
(also save the animals)"
Oh yes. Do this. If you want to live on the edge a little bit say "her son [turkish name]"
Post yfw OoT filename can be exactly 8 characters long for Narcissa - which is currently winning by a large amount.
ok i tried to make it better. couldnt do much without the original font and shit and really the whole thing should be scrapped but I think this gets the point across in a less whiny way while also making the situation a bit more relateable (instead of implying it's a sexual analogy by including the shit at the bottom, it remains explicitly a car crash, and instead of accusing women and getting a typical NAWALT line or other knee-jerk "ur a muh soggy knee!" reaction, it tells the viewer that they are in danger due to female drunk drivers well beyond the normal potential for injury)
also I noticed a grammar error in the little spiel at the bottom of the original. good job MRAs on having basic literacy
i hate seeing MRA content because I don't like women either, I think a lot of things are unfair, but being so whiny about shit and making it so clear you're just salty about not getting laid by drunk chicks doesn't "redpill" anybody
cuz seriously, the solution to "you can be charged with rape for banging a drunk chick" is a very easy "don't bang drunk chicks". I think this more general "you are responsible for her actions just because she had a drink" in this poster illustrates the unfairness and outright danger better, and is likelier to get someone thinking about the gender situation
i am going to kill you, my man
she's working her way down the list
implying you /v/ shits even know who this is
>Fifi went from KungFuFruitCute to KaseizureyGirl
Man talk about a downgrade
they do texture filtering/scaling in a strange way, have a garbage framerate across the board until the expansion pack was brought in, and an odd set of technical specs means there's some things you'd expect out of that era that aren't there, but some other things are oddly high quality
they are pretty expensive
for the big onesand I don't have a fantastic job
I hate to meme out but I'm genuinely not interested because I didn't like the non-zero games as a kid. They are just clunky-feeling and so watching people play them reminds me of how clunky and generally not good they felt to play
same as above, tried it on emulator when I was like 16 or some shit, hated it
arcade speedruns are usually pretty straight-laced and I'm more into glitchfests
>ZFG OoT MM
this I am hella down for but it's also basically a day away
>Are you already experienced
Only a little, I must train harder!
TMNT and diablo are the only good runs today and I will miss them because my fucking internet connection at home went to shit
why the fuck the water company had to hit with the shovel the whole bunch of internet cables of the whole building just yesterday
for the year, I mean
like, the viewmodels in Goldeneye are pretty detailed for a game of its time, but the textures are all awful. The sound is okay and loading times are decent, but it runs at like 8FPS on a good day. It just has very all-over-the-place performance.
I can do maybe 2.5in across and 6in deep with a lot of effort, maybe a horse is out of the picture just yet, but why bother with a "fantasy" toy if it's not huge? I can get normal-sized vibrators and the like up the street for far cheaper. Also, they vibrate
figures someone stlll going full autist about that
trihex wouold never have won anyway
the key is to mix shitposting with realposting
this is how communities are built and thrive
brb gonna practice running CoD4 some more because it's the only fun game my toaster will run
I believe a wife is a husbands property. That is far from SJW.
Calling her a fucking slut is fine. Calling the guy that fucked her knowing full well she was married a fucking shitlord is fine as well.
its pretty obvious all the photos posted to grommr were his shame photos when he was fat. Look at him now. Does he look that big anymore? does he have a giant gut? Someone just updated that grommr profile like 30 days ago that he somehow got even fatter. The dude is all fucking muscle now
Before you ask, yes i am definitely big jon doing damage control
yea, that's some shit damage control
he probably just liked it, and then decided he didn't wanna be fat anymore. liking bloating doesn't mean you personally like being fat. He could like having both body's anyway.
>The point is working your way up to it, that's what.
still, I'd rather have it and have to try hard only to not fit it than to play pretend with some tiny 100$ fake dick that I could have gotten the same size of for 20$ that also vibrates instead of has a cumtube I'll use only once
o-okay but im probably gonna be not really paying attention and drawing fursmut and writing
I ask this myself as a guy with a bunch of women's clothing and a bit of makeup
it's fun to wear and is legitimately more comfortable than pajamas
a full-length dress is surprisingly warm and not drafty at allbut fuck, I'm not ACTUALLY A WOMYN ON THE INSIDE or anything and I'm not about to go fuck up my body chemistry and chop off my dick just because I like to be pretty sometimes
I think it's the opposite, it's crypto-right wingers who are obsessed with strict gender roles and the like who can't just be pretty on their own time, and have to become women to legitimize their tastes
kinda like how in Iran, being gay is punishable by stoning but the government will finance you going full tranny because it means you're not gay if you're a post-op MtF and fuck dudes
Pretty sure he bulked up then turned it all into muscle. He used to be really fat a couple years ago and now he goes to the gym all the time.
>Decided he didnt wanna be fat anymore
That contradicts his grommr profile being updated 20 days ago that he gained 8 pounds and all the photos being extremely old.
>generic yank accent
fyi, none of the American accents you'd hear at a speedrunning marathon are indicative of real life, these are people who're so sheltered from society they never learned to speak properly so they lack all the cadence and enunciation of actual speech
Yea good point.
idk maybe he just wanted to be part of the community, and he likes that stuff. that's worse case scenario though. best case is like you said, he jokingly made it because he was ashamed of his fat? he secretly went though the whole process of signing up and putting up those old pics as a goof?
It's actually hilarious that people think he got buff
This is classic fucking synthol. Looks fucking retarded and is fucking retarded. If you're gonna be big, atleast do it right and get on a cycle.
You want a timer for each hand? Stop watching chat instead of the stream
Okay I've watched for a bit since I've seen the speedrun in the past and jesus christ it's so bad
You can tell she's had enough of his antics and that he's a fucking lunatic.
I'm a terrible person but I can't blame stiv after watching that. These two weren't meant to be married. I don't understand how it happened but seriously it wouldn't have lasted, cheating or not.
Sure it's better to kill the relationship then go fuck around but this was a matter of time and I don't think Sam is innocent at all in this mess.
They're all as gulty if anything but ultimately it would've happen
>I choose to not care a lot because hes a cool dude and down to earth
I agree, it's sort of an interesting thing to discuss but ultimately I don't even look at him differently if it's the worse case scenario.
i dont even care much of a speedrun this is
who cares what the man likes honestly, he's a good runner and a cool guy
he is fat though, i mean the guy is a fucking monster muscle wise but he is also fat, they're not mutually exclusive
I think she'll regret the whole process.
Getting with him, marrying him, cheating on him.
I'm not telling you she's a saint, I just don't think it's (totally) on Stiv.
I'm frankly puzzled about how these two got together.
Mate look at his upper arms. That's a large decidedly NOT muscle shaped lump of something in there.
I don't give a shit how delusional you are. Googling synthol only yields the absolute freaks who look like shit with it. Try googling 'fake tits' and you'll find a bunch of botch jobs too.
BigJon polices his chat like a little bitch though
I made some offhand remark about him Let's Playing SM64 and he gave me the whole "I'm learning the game I'm having fun you're welcome to leave don't need your negativity" spiel lmao
I don't think he's on synthol but I wouldn't say 100% he isn't on it either, I mean his forearms lack muscle and just because you don't look like those extreme examples on google images doesn't mean you're not doing it right and just putting in enough. Plus, he's very proportional for his fat content, it doesn't look like he has a gut because his chest and arms are so big but he's definitely at like 25-30% bf lol
He is really uppity and can't ignore trolling. It's killed my enjoyment of his streams several times when he starts ranting at obvious bait his mods should've just quietly removed instead of spamming emotes
Swiss has quite a lot of variation in accents for such a small country. With europeans it also matters how and where they learned english. I know dutch guys that have american english accents thanks to watching too much american tv shows.
He doesn't understand jokes or anything though
Dude just can't take any ribbing at all, he takes stuff at face value like a little kid. I guess it's to maintain that PG13 vibe, but that shit breeds some really embarrassing chatrooms, like go to any of the wobblers/wigglers(?) (the one with kungfu and firedragon) and those chatrooms are full of faggy manchildren
>Swiss has quite a lot of variation in accents for such a small country.
I guess you have a point, I have troubles understanding some dialects and they don't even have to speak english for it
>the profile is from 2014
wrong, the profile is from 2012
There is no heat, no electricity, no water in my house. The walls are falling down and I've set fire to a couch to stay warm. My dog is watching the backyard, I'm wrapped up in blankets with a shotgun. Wolves howl in the night, and the distant fire of the secret police's machine guns silences them. I am not long for this world.
Legit question, did you guys watch the videos? The way he speaks about it is not in a joking way. He talks about how excited he is for his gut to grow even more while measuring it, then poses, as he says, for his profile picture showing off his huge self. It's not someone doing it for laughs. And isn't the account at least 4 years old?
>make conditions horrible for people who are competitively invested in speedrunning
>encourage wannabe attention seeking let's play "speedrunners" to play
>rehashing old animals memes for the millionth year in a row
they've fallen off tbqh and all the speedrunners with real skill have fled this train wreck
I have a confession.
I have literally never watched a super metroid speedrun to completion.
Every time I've tried, either from a GDQ vod or a stream, I've fallen asleep.
I actually don't even know what is involved in saving the animals, or what the animals are, or why it's such a big deal.
I've been into speedrunning since 2012.
They're fucking up marketting.
They're alienating speedrunners in order to be more commercially viable. Here's the issue, though: There aren't that many speedrunners. It's a niche hobby. They've alienated so many big ones, people start to ignore the events because there aren't any names they know and in the end they care more about the streamer than the personality.
Tbh, a lot of the novelty runs out after you see your favourite games completely broken the first few times
At this point I find blind mario level runs more impressive beacuse they take improvisation
it's stupid really, basically mother brain is a load-bearing boss so zebes explodes when she dies and while escaping, there's a room with the animals that help you in the game. Shoot out the wall and they escape.
90% of these donations are just for the meme now anyway, they don't even know when the animal saving happens.
This is exactly what killed my enjoyment of GDQ's. I don't give a shit about what games are put up as long as we have some consistency with names. I mean fuck every year there are just waves and waves of random new people and no familiar faces running anything.
cucked cosmo and stole hotel keys
They are made-up green things, like gerbils and some other deer thing. If played normally, they would have taught the player techniques like how to wall jump and how to shine spark. So you're supposed to like them.
He collected all the keycards from the event hotel (about 80) and took pictures with them.
People got outraged about it because they didn't know keycards are one-time use only and got butthurt because "he stole all the little plastic cards! What a scumbag! Reddit, witchhunt that guy!" and so they complained to the AGDQ staff so they banned him for bringing them bad publicity.
according to online sources it was either
80 room keys stolen
niggers and other non-PC memes
not banned but distancing himself from excessive commercialisation
i'm sure there's more and noone actually knows
Yeah the reactions to that shit were bizarre. People posted pictures of him holding a bunch of keycards and went
>what a fucking scumbag
>Such an asshole, if he tried to get my keycard I'd kick his teeth in!
like it's somehow an act of crime
So he is actually autistic. Listened to about a minute and gave up. Like listening to a spoilt child moaning. He just needs a good slap.
Whats so fun about collecting door cards.
Again they're DOOR CARDS. Whats so funny about that?
This was the funnier Werster happening of AGDQ 2015
>Whats so fun about collecting door cards.
He took pictures of them laughing with other people. They were clearly having a blast scavenging those door cards.
Who gives a shit, lad?
>i will fix you and make you all better
do you not know who woober is or something
I have friends tho i cant see us having shits and giggles collecting cards, anon. maybe if we was 12 and locked in the hotels while our parents are having fun.
Do you want to collect door cards for fun?
you're honestly the strangest person I've come across today. You're complaining about some dude collecting little plastic cards at a hotel for whatever reason, maybe it was a running gag or some shit.
Why do you care so much? How does this affect you or anyone else negatively?
how did he manage to fake all the videos and shit?
with all this werster discussion going on i'd like to point out this guys a god of pokemon though
pretty sure he's the perfect balance of theorycraft and quality button pressing.
i feel like the modern runners and current record holders are just good at the button pressing part. Optimisers and honers.
werster has excellent commentary and preparation for all his marathon runs which is much more than i can say for the current bunch. A lot of these 2016 runs are quite embarrassing.
She posts things like these
You was defending his actions like it was lol ok.
I was just asking, anon. I'm not sure why collecting door cards was epik fun! They're fucking door cards.
I find the behavior weird.
Nah, he's good at routing and execution (which pokemon runs have a surprising amount of, his menuing and movement is really quite developed). And also the sheer autism of fighting through RNG games over and over and over to get records is pretty neat.
You should know by now the internet is mostly filled with people with lives so empty they latch onto any kind of drama to fill the void because literally anyone is more interesting than them.
You're a fucking idiot, none of the actual content is sexual, he just uploaded it and made it out of context with the descriptions. He's even doing it to one of his epic friends.
Well... sure there are hotter ones. But she's hot enough, and there's occasional aus speeddrama
Nobody even really cares, jon is still a cool guy whatever he does to get his rocks off
You just got told two times it's not about the doorcards, it's about doing stupid shit with friends
yet you're still sperging out about door cards
what the fuck is your actual malfunction?
North Korea needs to hurry up and nuke the US already
>already 1 hour in
Well I guess I'll watch it when it's on jewtoob.
Anon, i was just thanking your for the tip. Dont worry ive planned just as exciting shenanigans with my friends. its friday night so were going to be, hold on! we will be stealing costers. You know those little squares you put your beer on in the pub? LOL i know we will be stealing those tonight. Then on the stagger home we will be stealing peoples plants from their gardens.
Who knew this could be so much fun.
I think I have to play some Secret of Mana again.
On a weekday? People who are at home on a weekday sleep late, and even if they wake up early who the fuck starts watching a stream as soon as they wake up?
Everybody else is working or at school. The fact that it has as many viewers as it does, is impressive.
If that were the case, why does Jon "admit" to altering the pics himself as a "joke"? Give it up man, it's shit damage control across the board.
Big Jon is/was into guys with huge ass guts, and if you still enjoy his content, it shouldn't bother you desu.
Nobody can surpass AGDQ 2014 for me, just because how much of a gigantic step backwards it was from the spectacularly fun 2013.
I hope he won't say a single line.
It might not be the worst GDQ but it's fucking horrible to me. The Mario Maker one made realize that and the L4D2 one was a joke. I only care about the solo, certain co-op & challenge speedruns honestly, none of these races and games that you literally can't speedrun such as Stepmania. It's why I hated the Tetris thing from before. Sure you can be good and people might be excited but at the end of the day it's still not really a speedrun. Also while I know races happen every GDQ (and I may be wrong on this next part) I feel there are a lot more this year so I'm really not enjoying it this GDQ. At least I'm loving most of the dev commentary when it's here like every GDQ and that Paper Mario run was great.
>woman whispers unintelligibly in my ear
>throw a fit and blog about it
Well the implication wasn't intended. I tried running a Kirby game before that had no glitches so trust me, I know they're not needed to qualify as a speedrun (though I would be lying if I didn't think they were one of the most interest parts of a run).
His laughter brings light into the darkness of my heart.
Such an innocent unrestrained laugh, free of the taint of stale memes and dark humor that we're assaulted with on a daily basis.
What's the summary of the drama this year? Any particularly fun awkward moments like Chibi during Tomba 2, girl asking OoT streamer to stop so she can talk about cancer, Crash 2 "Kill myself" guy?
He's called Runnerguy and he is my SR husbando, you homosexual.