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What will hormones do?
Previous thread: >>5568314
>being disconnected from your own emotions
Yeah it helped with that, but these days I go through a rollercoaster of most emotions you can imagine. Its quite the ride.
Still feel kinda dead inside though.
because of the risks of hepatotoxicity associated with cypro you want to use as low dose as possible while still getting desired results.
start at 25mg and go up to 50mg if your T is too high on 25mg.
Only if you get liver cramps by taking pills which was what i got. My liver had an allergic reaction to the estrogen.
However it was fine when i got estrogen shots instead, the gay health clinic i went too taught me how to do it so i didnt panic. You take a syringe and find a spot on your leg without veins so you dont stab your veins and then push in, inject, slowly take out, throw syringe in a trash and put a bandaid on the spot thats bleeding.
So, I've been dealing with a very very nasty depression for more than a year now, Im barely getting through it with psychiatric therapy and a heavy dose of anti depressants.
After a long time of not doing anything, Im starting to rediscover my old hobbies, among which is cosplay. Crossplay more specifically. As I browsed through my dresses, I got a thought that I hadnt had since a long time ago (approximately since my depression began), and that is "I'd be much happier if I was a girl".
This thought appeared in my life as early as 12 perhaps, and while it started to gain momentum year after year, Ive never felt trapped in my male body or otherwise disgusted by my genitals or appearance. I like things that are normally associated to girls, plushies, decorations, cooking, sewing... I like styling my (long) hair in what many consider "girly" styles and like I said before, I like to crossplay a lot (or used to anyway). However, I dont crossdress regularly, I had a period about a year ago when I did, I enjoyed being "cute". I consider myself straight, in the sense that I like girls, so when I think "I'd be happier if I was a girl" I automatically think, what kind of girl would I be? A tomboy lesbian?
Im most likely not a transexual, but this confusion is really bothering me, I'll be talking to my therapist this week, but I'd also like to know what you think.
I assume that it's pretty individual, but for me (FtM), when I started T, I felt a million times better about myself in general. I don't think it was the T itself as much as it was the fact that I knew I was finally taking steps to transition after so many years of inaction. I still feel dysphoric a lot of the time, but now I can tell myself that my body is a work in progress and that it's going to get better. Before, I treated my body like shit, and now I'm actually taking care of myself. I'm excited about the future and the changes it will bring. Yay, hormones.
I do subcutaneous T injections and it's no big deal at all to me, but I don't have a problem with needles in general and I know some people do. The needles I inject with are really tiny and just slide right in, I can't feel anything when I inject, and I've only once bled more than a tiny droplet (after pulling the needle out a bit sloppily). It's definitely not like shooting up into a vein.
when is it too late to begin hrt for mtf and ending up cute?
currently im 23 and been told i have a pretty feminine body and androgynous face, but also that im starting very late and results may not be satisfying
literally just depends on your genes
i'm 20 but my parents both said they devloped way later then everyone else so i look 16 and shit.
you can be 23 and have the genetic make up of an 18 year old
This is a tl:dr from these posts
Basically I have had moments since I can remember (around 5 or so) where I wished really badly to be a girl and used to dream about it.
I am not sure if I am trans though because my mother was a cunt and would treat my sister better than me, therefore it may be a want that was never fulfilled.
Was raped by my cousin when I was younger and didn't know if that had an effect or not.
Just looking to know if I am trans or not. Any suggestions?
Recently I've started noticing tiny white flecks on the centre of my nipples (not the aerola). I can brush them away but they seem to coincide with periods of boob pain. 3 months on mones. What is this, is it normal?
Hey people, I'm a bisexual male in a relationship with a transitioning mtf. She's been on mones for a year now, but she's really been beating herself up for not passing well. She always says she's ugly, hey nose is too big, and jaw/chin is too wide. She always compares herself to another mtf friend who started mones around the same time she did.
Anyways, I want to know how to comfort her when she gets like this. She isn't bad looking and is really cute, but she definitely wants to be the prettiest out of everyone. I just need help on how to deal with this behavior. It happens everyday and I want to make it better and make her feel like a princess, but she usually days things like, "But that's just you. I want everyone to know in pretty. I want /lbgt/ to find me the attention I want but I can't because I'm ugly." Pls send help.
this question has been answered pretty often i suppose but, i'm planning on starting to self medicate, what should my starting doses be? at what point should i increase the amounts and how much?
i already know i need to be taking anti-androgens and estrogen but i'm really bad with everything medicine-related. any help is appreciated!
Sorry, can't answer the questions about MtF HRT. Good luck, though.
I started T a month ago and after being on it for about two weeks, I noticed that I was sweating considerably more than before. I was anticipating this as a side effect, but I wasn't anticipating the extent. I'm waking up every morning completely soaked in sweat and shivering. When I go on a walk (it's cold out right now in my city and I don't go out dressed warmly at all), sweat literally drips down my chest. Does this sound like normal, being-on-T sweating? Should I just get used to showering like twice a day and constantly reapplying deodorant? Does anyone have any advice on how to minimize sweating (besides wearing less, obviously--this is happening to me when I'm FAR from bundled up)?
I want to start electrolysis and get this over with. Does anybody know any good places in Massachusetts that are trans friendly? I really don't want to freak out some poor electrologist and somebody who knows what they're doing with my hair would be excellent.
how do I tell if I'm just fetishizing wanting to be a woman or does it actually make me feel good picturing myself as a girl idk I get this weird emotion when I think about becoming a girl is it the fact that i just want to lose weight and be small or is it because I actually want to be a girl???
Like I don't get off on the thought... it just makes me sort of feel good about myself when I picture myself as a girl.
>waiting months after starting spiro before taking E
lol why? There is no significant reason not to start them both at a low dose at the same time.
>x4 2mg E per day (4mg total)
4 lots of 2mg is 8mg. Not 4mg. Literally 5 year olds can do better maths than this.
I hope this meant 4mg per day and not 8mg, because that's literally asking for blood clots.
It's entirely subjective. If you look feminine then you look feminine. Bones structure is what matters since that won't be changed on HRT. I'd also say that having a few extremely masculine features (that you'd never see on a woman) is much worse than having lots of somewhat masculine features (that are still comfortably within the female range). You get women who are tall with broad shoulders and prominent jaws and such (and who look just fine), but not women that have shoulders like a well-built male linebacker, you know?
The hard part is making sure people (including yourself) are giving honest opinions about how you look.
different anon here and i didn't even read it, but i'm on 12 mg a day on estrofem and i'm doing just fine.
My levels are at 160 pg/mL and i take 4mg, 3 times a day, my endo does actual scientific work with transwomen.
yea, personally im very self critical and can understand that getting honest opinions from friends could be biased. however im not sure even lgbt could be respectful enough to just give a "sorry you wouldnt make it" at worst instead of worsening the self impression, you know?
Things like this are often irrational and a result of general self hatred and insecurity as much as they are an actual assessment of one's body. Telling her she's wrong or that you don't agree probably won't help so much; you should focus on comforting her and letting her know you love her and are there for her, and that you genuinely think of her as a girl.
Also, even if she looks fine and she knows it, she's still going to feel bad about being more masculine than she would have been if she was born female; "fine" or "not bad" isn't necessarily good enough when it's something important and fundamental to one's identity like this (looking like "yourself" is a pretty big deal). The word "ugly" might not be being used just in the sense it usually is, but more as a way to express rejection/dissociation/disgust of her body (that's how I tend to mean it when I'm like this, at least).
On the occasions when she's approaching it less emotionally you can discus things like surgery with her and help her plan/see how things are realistically able to progress and get better.
I did that for about a week after doing just spiro for a few days to see if I had a reaction then went ahead and upped it. A little over a month and everything at least seems okay.
Some people do much longer periods of lower dose. A lot of guesswork in selfmedding.
>What exactly counts as "lots
boobs haven't grown much, still no where near an a cup. I have had little to no reduction in body hair. the only changes I have seen is my face has slightly changed and I find I am unable to get as erect as I used to.
Why would you freak out an electrologist? They love us. Trannies are their best customers, we drop thousands and thousands of dollars for hundreds of hours of their services.
I guarantee you every electrologist has trans clients. We're money cows for them.
Listen i got a problem and was hoping I could get some advice here.
I am a 25 years old male.
Since about a month ago I started experiencing what I can only assume are symptoms of body and gender dysphoria. I say "assume" because this is a completely new phenomenon for me. Even though looking back at my life now I can see little signs all troughout, which I will spare you initially for brevitys sake, I have never felt this sad or irritated about being male. I can't remember what the impetus was that got me to where I am now but it is also not like I developed these feelings overnight. They rather slowly crept up on me all over last year. At this point I am extremely irritated with my masculine features, like my body hair, expecially the beard which I cannot get rid of since the dark hair folicles can always be seen trough the skin. My voice also bothers me a lot. I guess it is kind of a blessing in disguise now that I am otherwise pretty androgynous overall. Soft facial features, full lips, big eyes, shoulders no wider than my hips, got almost no visible adams apple. For what it's worth my ring and index finger are exactly the same lengh so i don't even have very masculine hands. I guess i could fool a few people if I were to put on some make up in the right places.
Nonetheless I am pretty much in a constantly melancholic mood for now and I don't really know how to deal with this. To be compeltely honest I still can't quite believe that this shit is really happening to me. I mean how could it be? 25 year old male just suddenly develops an unberable urge to be a woman? I mean, come on that's a story staight of tumblrs crazy side. However, Denying or explaining it away as some kind of short term obsession get's harder with every day though. Especially since I am noticing more baffeling changes happening in my mind.
If nessecary i can elaborate a bit but do you think my feelings of dyphoria can even be legitimate?
what do /lgbt/?
trans or not you are probably a good candidate for therapy. why are jehovah's witnesses so much more fucked up than other religious people?
can't really say it helped me determine whether I'm tran but it's actually been kind of nice to cry for once, although it hasn't really opened me up to other emotions
pls properly dispose of your sharps famalam
look if literally your only reason for not doing is that you're worried about starting late, you might as well just start because you'll just start later if you don't. if you have other doubts, fine, don't follow that advice, but if you don't, come on
get on T blockers immediately from qhi.co.uk (100mg spironolactone every 12 hours), ask your GP to refer you to a gender clinic to determine whether it's dysphoria. you can always stop taking the blockers if it turns out to be something else. honestly, though, this sounds like classic late-developing dysphoria.
If you don't mind let me give some background on my situation. At this point i think it is pretty clear that I have some problem but i am not 100% sure on it's nature. Yesterday i didn't only save of my chin beard which i had for years but also every hair on my body i could reach. Doing drastic stuff liek thsi would normaly be totaly out of character for me. Not only that i am rechently eating on a massive caloric deficite to lose weight fast and decrease the amount of muscle I pack. I thought it would pronounche my hips and reduce the shoulders a bit. I know it isn't healthy but I feel I have to do it since I am fearing a major depressive episode. I am no stranger to depression and i know heavy episodes can potentially kill you and so i am trying to avert it this way since it seems to eliviate my problems a bit. The thing that is so weird is that i cannot even compeltely explain why I want this. I mean if i was offered to ebcome a woman though some undetermined means I would do it without a second thought and strangely enough I think I would even have done so if asked at any point in my life. I feel that I would be happier as a girl, more free maybe but I am not sure if i felt that i was female on the inside all along, how lots of transgrils tend to state. But i do think that i would make a way better girl than i would a boy.
I guess i would have to share some of my childhood memorys for you guys to evaluate.
Also according to the description i should not take this medication since I had a kidney failure once. It was a one time thign thoguh caused by extreme dehydration.
at the time it wasnt my only worry, however as i went suicidal over i yet again, i have no worries anymore, im gonna start asap and if things dont work out, suicide is still an option.
If I go to a psychiatrist and tell them I've been self medding for a month, would anything bad happen? Like is that also something that could get me arrested or something? Also would they be able to get me legit meds?
I don't think they handle trans/gender issues, and I've never mentioned trans thoughts to them.
I dont know If this is the right place to post this but here it goes.
I just turned 30 and finally decided to go through with transition MtF. I always had these feelings, but ignored them until a few monthes before my bday. I orginally planned to self med, I have some I ordered but held off taking them because while I was waiting for them, I did more research and decided getting my doctor involved at an early stage would be beneficial. But I think Feb 1 I'm gonna start taking the meds I have because the dysphoria is real, and I'd rather do something to get started. My current plan is take the meds, see how things go for a month or two, then get my doctor invovled, that shoudl actually speed up the process a little. get lazer done on my body hair. then present as a boy while the mones work their magic. and i guess slowly become more feminine from who i am now.
So I also have a dilema,
While I've been planning my transistion, my brother has been planning his proposal to his GF/ now fiance! A few weeks ago he proposed and she said yes. and they want to have the wedding in the fall. I'm happy for them but what am i gonna be by then? He just asked me to be a groomsman(I think I'd rather be a bridesmaid by then). I have not come out to my family at all. and telling my brother now or several months from now, or show up for the wedding in a tux with long hair and several months of mones in my body and people staring and asking questions because i'm in the wedding party.
I wouldnt say i'm having second thoughts, I'm pretty commited to transition. I just started freaking out about this after he asked me
I posted this another thread, but the more input I can get, the better.
How the hell do you tuck properly? Been tucking for a few weeks now and can't seem to get it right. Even when I use tissue to prevent pinching, I still end up with occasional pinching, everything shifting forward when I sit down, and a throbbing pain in my balls when I'm sitting with my legs together. Half the time it feels like they're going to explode (not that I would really care atm, save for the mess...).
Pic related. MRW everything goes to hell halfway through an hour-long uni class.
does anyone self-med using inhousepharmacy?????????? if so, can someone run through the exact process?
i'm nervous as fuck to use it. i'm in the USA so my only payment option is e-check. my biggest fear is fraud and if they were to commit fraud, how can i even report it? since ordering from there would be technically illegal anyway?
there's no fucking doctors here i feel nauseous and defeated
Have you been watching a lot of sissy porn by any chance? I ask because I was the same way. I'm 22 and have lived a pretty decent life, plagued by obsessive compulsive disorder and aspergers, but recently I have learned if my serious love for sissy porn. I became more anxiety ridden after every fap, now being a "sissy" is almost part of my very being. I think if someone would've asked me even years ago if I wanted to become a female, i'd probably say yes, but it was never on my mind. The porn I watch seems to amplify my desires 20 fold and is kind of distracting me from getting things that need to be done, done.
I am not sure what you are saying. So you thought you were a repressed transgirl who's dysphoria got intesified by watching sissy porn but as of now you settled for being a sissy yourself instead?
But as for me getting it on to that.
Not at all actually. Sissy porn never did anthing for me. Even though I would decribe myself as bisexual i always tended to prefer girls. What is most baffeling to me however is that as what i think are my dysphoria symptoms worsen I find myself less and less attracted to women. At this point i cannot even get errect to pics of naked girls anymore. Looking back at my admittedly very few actual sexual encouters which were all with women I really wasen't ever able to enjoy it a whole lot. I mean i do like to make my sex partner feel good and all but as for myself i honestly have to say that i was just always thinking about how i should really enjoy this but never was able to really get that much into it.
>>5626769 Person from the somewhat Jehovah witness family. (Basically all the doctrine except the no celebrating holidays part, and my family wasn't part of the watchtower society. Everything else that I know about was the same though, had the new world translations etc..)
Thank you for the reply, it was hard waiting for a few days for someone to respond but I do appreciate it. I wanted to know what I should do to go about getting treatment and if you thought school was a good choice since I am a college student and do not have a lot of money. I know we have student mental health facilities, but the last time my aunt had me go to see a shrink I purposely hid by analyzing them and making them think what I wanted them to thing by changing my tone and body language accordingly (The last time was not about gender dysphoria it was about my cousin).
I guess what I am trying to say ultimately is that I am scared, the only reason I was even able to make the post and talk about it was because I was anonymous (for the most part). It's not something that I think I would be able to talk about with someone face to face easily to be honest, which is probably due to the fact it was taboo in my upbringing, though that doesn't explain why I so easily accepted my lbgt friends given the circumstances.
I don't know if this will help but I have a friend who is trans, so I am pretty sure I can talk to them as well about this.
take the hormones you have. i bet it's like 100x more likely for a doctor not to refuse you them after it's been shown that you will just get them on your own.
for the wedding - if you don't want to stick out, just having long hair isn't a big deal. hormones aren't going magically turn you into a pretty girl, and especially in an item of clothing like a tux, it will be easy to hide any boob growth.
I definitely relate to the difficulty of seeing a therapist and getting meaningful results. However, while I really do hate the "see a therapist" meme too, you appear to have a host of issues that I don't think many people on here can relate to. I think in order to work on problems, essentially one needs to either have a group of people who have similar mindset/problems or a person who is trained in working with people with such problems. I get that therapists may seem easily manipulable, and I don't know what to tell you about that except try to find one that asks less transparent questions. It is difficult, I know. If you don't have a lot of money the school may be your best bet. They also likely have several counselors there that you can try each. One thing about school counselors I would suggest is not to allude to any suicidial tendencies if you have them.
You know anon I don't have answer for you except I want to say that I feel pretty much exactly the same way. Its like a sort of chicken and the egg scenario.
Its, uh, incredibly confusing. And stressful isn't it?
Fuck, that's awesome. Nice to not have to rage against the machine for once. Explains what these eyebrow hairs I've occasionally seen falling out are too. Thank you anon, you have made my day!
Durasteride. There's Minoxinil too, but I'm not sure about it. I imagine Durasteride is 5mg tablets too. You can get these things from qhi or inhousepharmacy, any of the good tranny medication sites--but if you're at that step, you may as well just get finasteride.
Private prescriptions often charge a ridiculous mark-up for DHT blockers, because the market of desperate people looking to stop their hair loss is so large.
Taking spirolactin, regular testosterone blockers, would probably be cheaper and produce the same effects, but you'd have to be sure you're trans. I can't advise you on that dosage. Check out le reddit's self-medicating pages. Despite being leddit, it's a really good resource.
I'll probably go ahead and take an anti androgen instead, I doubt that I'm not trans less and less each day and from what I can gather, as long as I'm not on AAs without estrogen more than a few months I'll be fine, and that's enough time to make up my mind.
Does HRT alone stop/cause regrowth?
I'll go with cypro since it seems like the best one, I have researched this a bunch but I'm still new to how to order and use online pharmacies.
Is there any difference between these two or can I just order the cheaper one?
Sorry for the link, 4chan thought the links were spam.
Male-pattern hairloss is caused by sensitivity to dihydrotestosterone. Without regular testosterone, no conversion of testosterone into dihydrotestosterone should take place. Finasteride and friends simply block the conversion of testosterone into dihydrotestosterone. The result of this is that you actually have more testosterone in your system, since it's not being converted.
Cypro is better shit that spirolactin for sure. I think Androcur is the branded one, and therefore, probabaly more expensive, while the other one will be generics.
I can't promise you any regrowth. It does stop hair loss though, and generally there is some regrowth of follicles that haven't totally died off yet. If you've had a bald spot for ten years, for example, that probably isn't coming back. That said, you likely will experience some regrowth.
It might be good for you to check your blood levels when you're on whatever you consider a "full dose" of AAs. Make sure to get your DHT tested, since in regards to hair loss that's the one you're really interested in.
>The result of this is that you actually have more testosterone in your system
This is surprising to me. So I should up my dosage of spironolactone to counteract the increased testosterone levels?
I'm not sure how big they are relative to other people's, lol. If I had to guess, I'd say they're a decent size? Like maybe 2 - 2.5 inches in diameter at their widest?
I can push them up into the inguinal canal and they'll stay with a gaff, but sitting is almost always a dicey proposition. I was kind of thinking that getting actual panties might help with preventing things from shifting when I sit down (as I'm stuck with briefs atm), but I don't think that would really solve the ball problem...
I'm 18, born male and i am pretty sure that i'm transgender. Growing up I never felt comfortable in my body. I remember crying in front of a mirror all the time because i was "ugly", but i didn't know why I felt that way. I'm 18 and I have never been in anything resembling a romantic relationship. I can't even tell if I like girls or guys at this point. i don't know how to approach anyone with intimate intentions. Girls probably think I'm gay because I present kind of androgynous. I feel that growing not knowing what I was and what I felt has damaged my ability to form meaningful relationships with people in general, especially girls, never having an iota of confidence to approach I girl I may have found attractive.I feel pathetic but I don't know what to do to fix myself. drugs are the only thing keeping me alive right now
I'm going to see my local therapist group dudes peoples about stuff tomorrow.
should I tell them straight away about gender stuff or hold off until later. I'd feel weird telling them because I'm clearly a boy i guess
I know exactly what you mean by not being able to engage in intimacy and not knowing your sexual orientation. I managed to live though this for 22 years but now I realize intimacy sets off my dysphoria, I feel like there's a mountain I have to climb to get to be normal and happy.
>tfw liked looking at yourself in the mirror as a child
>you thought you were cute
>puberty hit you like a sack of bricks
>lose interest in self, personal hygiene
>depression for 13 years
Relationships are confusing. And frankly I stopped caring about them. I think I took the "redpill" too hard and hate women now though. I just want to like myself again.
One step at a time, maybe. I hear how you see people reflects how you see yourself.
How does aging affect MtFs?
Suppose a 19 year old man with semi-masculine facial structure decided to transition and by some miracle they managed to pass at first; at what age would the whole 'disguise' fall apart? I'm not talking about getting old and not being cute anymore, I mean getting old and looking like one of the better hons.
>Growing up I never felt comfortable in my body. I remember crying in front of a mirror all the time because i was "ugly", but i didn't know why I felt that way.
Sounds about right.
>Girls probably think I'm gay because I present kind of androgynous.
I had this exact situation in high school. Asked a girl out and her immediate reply was 'You aren't gay!?'
I'm transgender so there's a few parallels for you. I'd recommend at least discussing it with a therapist.
how do i cover up my beard shadow? everyone i know does such an amazing job at it and say their beard is naturally light when its short. needless to say mine isnt and i feel like the light gray tint is showing through the foundation way too clearly
It doesn't. You don't age into a hon. Hons are hons because they aged as men.
Trannies actually age really well. I guess Punished Caitlyn being in the spotlight and all the other hons as the only examples of older transwomen have misled you a bit.
Excuse the stupidity, but if I understand this correctly, there is no point in taking Finasteride if I'm already taking Spironolactone? I was under the impression that unlike the latter, Finasteraide facilitated new hair growth.
You may have already seen this, but this is what I'm using personally. Basically, I try to push my voice as high-pitched as it can go without cracking and then bring it back down to something that doesn't feel like it's straining my throat.
Also, I find singing helps too. Especially if it's a female with a lower-pitched voice or a male with a higher one. Just try to match their pitch and tone without your voice cracking. I don't know if it actually helps to develop a more feminine voice, but it at least gives your vocal chords a workout.
And above all, try not to get discouraged. I'm kind of a hypocrite for saying this, because I'm super self-conscious about it when I try to practice, but it does make it that much harder if you're constantly getting down on yourself. Unfortunately, it's not the kind of thing that will change overnight. Think of it like exercising: You don't decide to start and immediately run a marathon. You practice and work your way up. There will be days where you feel like you can't take it anymore - you get a bad cramp or something and it just feels like nothing will ever change. But if you keep going, eventually you will succeed.
Don't focus on where you are, focus on where you came from. Sure, you may not sound like a cis female, but if you don't quite sound like a cis male either - congratulations, you're making progress!
Sorry if that got kind of cheesy, but that's about the best I can give you. Best of luck! :-)
thanks for the response I was starting to think nobody was going to.
Yeah thats pretty much my plan, I'm just conscerned that my family may notice some changes it is a little less than a year away and I'm gonna start my meds monday. and I'm convinced I may have a hormone imbalance anyway. So i dont know how effective the hormones will be.
How do you folks deal with all of the hate toward trans people that's out there? Does it get to you, or do you just shake it off somehow? I'm an overly-sensitive, self-flagellating bundle of shame in the shape of a human and I don't know how I'm ever going to learn to regard myself as anything other than a disgusting monstrosity for being trans. How the hell do people become OK with, or even proud of, being trans?
Did anyone not realize they were trans until after puberty? Like you realized the gender you identified with didn't have the same things?
>tfw i was 12 asking when I was going to grow a penis
INB4 "Oh, go away tumblr with your meme genders."
Kind of. I'm 20 and just recently figured out that I'm bi-gender. Thinking back, it does align with a lot of things that didn't really make sense to me from my childhood, but I never really started seriously considering it until a couple months ago.
>How do you folks deal with all of the hate toward trans people that's out there?
Try to ignore it and avoid people who can't deal with it.
>Does it get to you
Yeah. It really hurts me. Especially when for some reason or another a close friend finds out and decides they don't want to be my friend anymore. Why should that matter? It's not like we're shacking up.
>do you just shake it off somehow?
Don't pay too much attention to it. If being trans is something you have to do to feel comfortable with yourself (which it should be if you are) then you'll have your reasons for doing it, and can think about that. A lot of the hate comes from superstitions, preconceptions, and plain bad information; but don't try and preach about how it's perfectly okay and you're doing the right thing for yourself. That won't help anything.
>I'm an overly-sensitive, self-flagellating bundle of shame in the shape of a human and I don't know how I'm ever going to learn to regard myself as anything other than a disgusting monstrosity for being trans.
Buck up, Buttercup. Life's a bitch and you're not taking an easy route. There's really nothing else you can do.
>How the hell do people become OK with, or even proud of, being trans?
If it's something you have to do to be comfortable with yourself (which, again, it better be or you're doing something stupid) then you'll know you're doing what you have to do.
The only people who are proud of being trans are special snowflake attention whores. You can be proud of passing and all the effort that goes into it, but there's really no pride to be found in simply being trans aka hating yourself for being born like you were.
>Oh, go away tumblr with your meme genders.
>Really though. I've never understood that, could you please explain it? Genuinely curious about it.
You know what, I'm not even mad. You're the first person on here who's actually been civil about it. So thanks for that. :/
Well, for me personally, it kind of manifests itself as what I would imagine being bipolar is like. Basically, some days I feel fine with my body and everything's good. And then other days, I get hit with major dysphoria and get really depressed about it. It's kind of like being gender fluid, except that I'm not really interested in being androgynous. I want people to see me as a male some days and as a female others. It just changes.
In other words, I basically have "male" days and "fem" days. I know it's kind of weird to think about when everyone else seems to have everything "figured out" (cis male, MtF, cis female, FtM), but yeah.
Who knows, maybe it'll turn out to be a phase and I'll decide that I'm fine with being a male. On the other hand, maybe I'll realize I'm actually MtF and I'll pursue that. Or on the...third hand?, maybe I'll just stay in this state of flux for the rest of my life. Atm, I'm leaning towards the second option, but since it's such a drastic thing, I'm just kind of taking small steps and seeing what makes me happy.
I ordered my first batch of HRT from QHI a while back. According to their tracking system it was dispatched on January 8th. I still haven't gotten it. Is this normal? Did they steal my money? Could my package have been seized by customs?
is it a trans group or are there other trans people? if not then you'll better visit a therapist specialized in that stuff. unless you are a trans guy and it's relevant to what you want to talk about i wouldn't mention it.
It's a nation wide therapy thingo for people under <25 that specialize in a bunch of stuff
Tomorrow I'm meant to tell them what's going on in my life so they can find a therapist/mental health thingy that's fit for me.
One of the thing's they help with is gender and sexuality stuff so i guess I should mention it so they can shift me on to somebody that can help?
idk senpai it's confusing to me
Doesn't seem too far-fetched to me. Crossdressers must have some of the same stuff going on, if not accompanied by vivid physical dysphoria. My dysphoria used to wax and wane, though eventually it stopped waning. Between hormonal cycles (not strictly an afab thing), society, and wonky stuff in utero there's probably something to it.
>I'm just kind of taking small steps and seeing what makes me happy.
That actually makes sense to me (MtF).
Some days I honestly don't mind being reminded I was born male. Other days I cry if my penis twitches.
I don't have 'male' days really, just days where the dysphoria doesn't hit like a ton of bricks.
Still kinda wild. Do you date?
> Do you date?
Well, I was dating a girl prior to when I really started feeling dysphoria. I had started shaving my legs and told her that I was metrosexual - she was concerned about what it meant, but was fine when I told her I was still straight.
Then I started dating a trans (MtF) friend of mine after I started getting deeper into bigender-ness (that's a word, right?). She had been helping me along with getting started, so she was well aware of the whole thing. That only lasted for a couple of days, though, because my parents went completely mental when they found out. The two of us decided to call it off for the time being so I didn't destroy my relationship with my parents. :< It still hurts to think about, even though that was almost a month ago.
I had a very similar chain of events that lead me to this point, though i never dated any trans women, I did sleep with two back in the fall right after my dysphoria started. actually that was better sex than i ever had with the cis women i used to date.
Well, that's about what I expected. I do hope you're able to find someone understanding of your...
That being said; We're reaching levels of Tumblr not previously thought possible. Slow the fuck down. If you need to invent a word you're going too hard.
>I do hope you're able to find someone understanding of your... >bigenderness.
Thanks! I mean, I did, but hopefully I can find someone that my parents won't completely lose it over.
>If you need to invent a word you're going too hard.
I wouldn't say it's really "inventing a word" to attach a common suffix onto something as a joke more than anything, lol.
Anyway, my apologies. I will attempt to get my Tumblr side under control (even though I haven't been on there in years...).
Wanted to know, other than the obvious horrible brow bossing, what is notibly wrong with my face. I havent done my eyebrows in a few months because they went badly last time, and I have to go boymode for a lot of the time still. I'm just looking into what I'll need done when I get FFS
Weak jaw, very round undefined face. Really no stand out features. Eyes are awkwardly spaced and drooped which is unfortunate. Your brow is really uneven and god damn. Your hair is dead as fuck and disgusting.
desu i only see the genderless/agender thing were someone wants nothing or everything, but nothing else.
just literally "not gender" is approved by me
but the whole demiboy/girl, semiboy/semigirl, and so much other stuff just pisses me off
I'm 20 years old and have always been a kind of feminine dude. I'm still a virgin. When I was in highschool, I was medicated for awhile for depression. I've been going through a lot of stress since then and I don't know what the source of it is. I spent a long time on /gif/ in trap threads and often fantasize about sucking dick despite not finding men all that attractive. I'm deeply confused and don't know how to not be so confused anymore without irreparably fucking up a lot of relationships.
1) what do I do to not be so confused anymore
2) is 20 too late for HRT?
3) if it's not, what's a good way to see if I'll transition well?
2) think like it's never too late but the sooner the better, and this is very important. If your dysphoria is bad enough to transition, you have to do it sooner or later anyway.
3) there's no real way as everyone has different genetics, but I can't tell you much because I'm basically at the same spot.
My fear is that the therapist will be deadset on trying to convince me that I am trans or that I am not trans regardless of what I tell them. Well, maybe that's what I want them to do, I guess. I've never had a therapist, let alone a specific "gender" therapist... Could you tell me what it was like, if you've had one?
>2) You're transitioning at a very late age and it's unlikely you'll ever pass, but I'd recommend starting hormones asap to prevent any further damage.
>>5639933 this is total bullshit. 20 is not too late at all. If you start right now this very second, you could even get some of the effects that some older people don't enjoy, like wider
I'm currently seeing a counselor and they're very accommodating. So far they've basically just been asking me how I feel about things, where my head's at, that kind of thing. Definitely not trying to pressure me one way or the other. It can vary depending on the person, though. I've been having a really good experience, but my friend told me about a counselor they went to with someone that told them that being pansexual wasn't a thing, even though the person they were with was adamant that they identified that way.
My first therapist ended up telling me what he thought I was a few sessions in and seemed to be skewing things towards me not being trans before he outright told me he didn't think I was.
My second therapist has just asked me some questions and let me talk about my feelings, and tried to direct me towards certain thoughts to help me figure things out.
I'm on HRT now. I did a lot of thinking on my own and I spent a lot of time talking to trans friends who ended up helping me a lot.
Its never too late to make yourself happy. If its what you want do it.
20 is not too late, 30 is not too late, I've seen quite a few beautiful women that didnt start transition until 30. I hope i'll be like them
I'm 30 and just starting and i feel good about it.
trust me you will be fine if your a feminine guy now
dont worry about it
My mother has said a few thing that were offensive to me because i'm trans, i'm still in the closet about it, she said several similar things about the gays before my brother came out as gay, and she accepted him
I have some questions about dosages.
I have 1mg Estradiol and 100mg Spironolactone.
How many doses should I be taking a day?
I'm about to start self medding and just want to make sure i do it right
For mtf's on HRT:
I have no dysphoria about my penis and prefer topping. I'm extremely worried about losing use of it. What are you experiences? Anybody else not have penis dysphoria want to weigh in?
Supposably if you keep using it regularly it will remain usable for sex. In my case, I found that on HRT I just no longer had the same need to masturbate as I did before HRT, and since I don't really have anyone to do it with anyways I just sort of got lazy and let it atrophy. I still am able to get semi-hard, anyways; I don't know if for other people that goes away completely or not.
I think I've heard that there are HRT medicines / doses that cause less erectile dysfunction, but I don't know the details, sorry.
So here's a question for you specifically. I turn 30 next month myself and am starting to accept the idea that I may need to deal with these feelings and thoughts I've had all my life. I've been talking a lot about "authenticity" at work recently (I moonlight as a motivational speaker; hilarious-right?) and I have come to realize I am being in-authentic myself.
So, I guess my question is -after waiting so long how did you finally start the journey? Whats it like?
How do I support my girlfriend better? She started hrt a few months ago and she is having crazy mood swings. I think she passes really well but she's always finding shit she hates about herself. No matter how much i tell her how good she looks, she still winds up getting mopey. It's just so frustrating because I have no idea how trans people think. I just want her to be happier
Because as bad as it may be, I'd rather be a non-passing transwoman than try to force myself to be a miserable boy again.
Short answer: its self-discovery, You jsut have to figure it out for yourself,
but for me its kind of a long story, I definitely have had these feelings all my life. I woudl constantly imagine my life as if i'd been born a girl (funny story before i popped out they actually thought i was a girl). I wanted to be a girl, and express my feminine side. but because of how people are, I hid it. I would say I was depressed, but I was usually unhappy as a result.
So i grew up hiding everything feminine about myself, just bottled it up and supressed it. I do not recommend that!
I had several relationships with girls, but my heart really wasnt in it for a lot of them. and others would get mad at me because they felt i "was hiding something from them" and "wouldnt open up" but try opening up to someone who you know would not be ok this.
So after a particuarly bad break up I decided to take a break and focus on myself. It was really good for me.
Then a few months before my 30th bday, It jsut kinda clicked, I wasnt getting any younger. and this had been on my mind for a long time. I spent the holidays just thinking about what i wanted. also weighing the possible and likely negative results of undergoing transition, and I decided I'm doing this for better or for worse. Some people I know Will hate me, others will stand by me. I accept that. I will truely learn who my friends are. I dont know how my family will react. but my parents accepted my gay brother so thats promising.
So I will start my meds tomorrow, I'm excited and nervous. but I'm comfident that it will work. This year is gonna be interesting, I expect I will have to come out at some point this year.>>5627869
If you want to ask me other questions feel free.
i still ask questions myself.
I'm 19, male, and have some pretty bad dysphoria. As in awful, hate myself every day dysphoria. I really want to transition but I'm worried I'll never look feminine. I've got a masculine jaw, nose, and brow, but don't really have the money for major surgery, so I'd be starting HRT soon but wouldn't be able to get out of 'boy mode' and pass for a very long time. I definitely don't want to be one of those obvious trans people who cries about people not using their pronouns that nobody likes.
I guess I don't really have a question. Just... thoughts?
Stay in boymode until you think you can pass; worst case you never can and end up looking like a feminine guy with gynecomastia, which is still better than continuing to be a masculine looking guy.
How long have you been on HRT? It's not at all uncommon to produce clear liquid from your breasts in the first few months. It's nothing to worry about unless you start having bloody discharge instead. Generally the presentation of liquid from the nipples stops after enough breast growth happens, so enjoy it while it lasts.
It's mucus. Your nipples may excrete it as a natural response in order to prevent infection of the ducts. May occur with stimulation or occurs without stimulation in women on birth control pills or men or women on antidepressants. If you weren't stimulating your nipple at the time, and are not on birth control or antidepressants, see a doctor immediately. It could be a tumor.
Wouldn't that be wine?
I suppose I should say stimulating the breast. Anything that could upset the milk ducts; which are present in both sexes.
I have an incredible amount of respect for you (and for anyone willing to take the step). I'm way too afraid to do what you're doing.
I admire your willingness to do whats right for you even if it means hurting relationships with your friends or family. I hope you become a beautiful women
Have any of you who put off transitioning gotten really absurdly counter-productively good at repressing certain thoughts? How do you deal with it?
Like, I'm forced by circumstances to face an unpleasant truth about who I am and how the world sees me, and I can't deal with it so I go for a walk to escape. And on the walk I oscillate every half block between nearly panicked horror, completely distracting myself with unrelated thoughts, then thinking of walking back and going right back to horror upon remembering I have to deal with this...
Thanks, Its not a decision i make lightly. Its not like I want to hurt the relationships i have with people, I've been hurt alot. But I've learned that they can end suddenly and without good reason. sadly it would just be another day for me
You dont have to be afraid, but I understand your fear, I've felt and still feel it
holy shit I need help fast
if a testicle dies, can It be left in
do you get infexted
how to keep it in if is dead?
holy fucking shit it hurts lmfao
i've been lying with with it torsioned by accident on purpose for 3 hours because fuck deez nuts amirite but from what I'm reading you can get gangrene or some shit
gender therapy isnt happening up here also lmao, holy fucking shit it hurts though, any suggestions ? other than lol go to hospital, its not that easty
It's really not that uncommon. Whether it's the same condition as those who had dysphoria earlier or something else, it's not really known I guess, but regardless transitioning does seem to help a lot of people that started experiencing gender dysphoria after childhood.
You definitely should seek medical attention. While you may not be in danger from this (I mean, they castrate some animals by crushing the blood supply to the testes with something like pic related and they generally don't die), you shouldn't risk it, because there are some things that can go wrong. If getting medical attention is truly impossible, then you should at least take antibiotics to try to prevent gangrene from setting in. (But seriously, try to get to a doctor.)
im 6'7" and ive thought about transitioning(mtf) a few times but i always stop when i think about being so tall and having large hands and feet(size 17EE in male). has any other tall ppl transitioned and if so how did you get over it and how did things turn out
To be hones with you I feel a tremendous amount of regret for not having faced it sooner. Having never experimented, or explored, or properly researched. It always felt like at best an impossible dream, or at worst a shameful taboo. But really I think its fair to say that there's always been something there. Memories, or impulses, or actions. That's dramatic. Too dramatic maybe. But I've been reading these articles and a theme I see a lot is:
>cis people don't spend a lot of time wondering if they're cis
Cis men probably don't picture themselves happier as women. They probably look at pretty girls and think "I want to be with them" not "I want to be them". They probably don't have recurring vivid dreams of having a vagina; and then waking up disappointed and unhappy.
I know you can't focus on the past; and maybe I'm just torturing myself. But I can't help but think and dream of what might have been 15 years ago. 10 years. 5 years ago. But what will I think tomorrow? I feel like I'm caught a sunk cost fallacy; like I've already put 29 years away as a man and ruined my body with puberty so what's the points. Maybe I'll find happiness at the end of the another road and I'll eventually put these aberrant thoughts behind me.
I'm sorry anon, you don't have to answer that. I don't want to put this one you. I'm trying to work things out. Explore some feelings and share some stories I've never shared with anyone before. It's, uh, scary. But you know that.
My oh my. What am I gonna do.
I'm 6'4". For that and other reasons I put off transitioning for many, many years, which I rather regret. I'm now taking hormones and such, but still presenting as male; I'm hoping to eventually be able to at least present myself as a somewhat respectable looking, if obviously non-passing, transwoman, but I'm not there yet, and might not ever be much more than a slightly feminine looking boy with tiny boobs. Even so, I'm really happy with how I feel on the hormones, so I don't regret deciding to try transitioning.
If it makes you feel any better? I sunk an extra two years into doing the "I can stand being a man" thing than you have. The extra two years didn't make me any happier. There's a defeatist trend on this board, but don't let it crush you. It's never too late to gain some benefit from transition, although later generally means you have to put in more work (and cash).
22 Year old male, UK.
Very similar situation to >>5626068
Went to my GP today and asked if I could be referred to a GIC but he did not know anything on the issue and so I have been referred to a counsellor. First time that I have spoken to anyone about my dysphoria, left the practice feeling like I may genuinely be insane. Could anyone share their experiences with transitioning in the UK? I just want to be happy now after years of keeping secrets and hiding myself from people :(
Is there hope for me? Any advice welcome
As far as advice from a straight(ish) guy would count: don't give up. Some people will understand, others don't. I've learnt that quality matters over quantity. The world has so much to offer. And besides, I'd date you.
Your GP is obligated to refer you to a GIC. Either get a new one, or force your doctor's hand. You sort of have to babyshit your doctor through the process if they know nothing about the protocol.
Add me on Skype if you need a UK buddy. It's siglives
On the NHS, it takes a very long time (2 years at the absolute minimum), most of it being waiting. Also, depending on your clinic they make force you to socially transition before they'll give you hormones. I'm told there are plans for more funding soon which will decrease the waiting time.
By all accounts private care (and also self-medication) is fast.
So, in about a month or so I will finally be able to begin with the hormones.
The evaluation takes forever here, but atleast they´ll pay for all the necessary surgeries if you go through with it.
Not sure if I look passable as I am right now though, opinions?
Have you ever tried more traditional styles of make-up and hairdo? Just for fun in your own home? I'd be interested in how you emulate other styles.
Your natural beauty might allow for a lot of expression in terms of fashion.
I'd recommend that you experiment a bit.
Apart from that, have more hheadshots of yourself?
Well, you'll have to come to Canada, lol.
TFW Not sure if serious or trolling.
I do try different styles now and then, but it usually turns out less passable.
So maybe when I´ve actually been on hormones I can experiment more.
All my photos of me have my face in them, so yeah.
Here´s when I had red hair and also a bit less make-up.
This might be a weird question, but can spironolactone spoil?
I got these pills, and they have kind of a funky rotten egg smell to them. I don't think they were ever exposed to any extreme heat, but they may have been exposed to extreme cold.
I guess what I'm asking is, is it normal for the pills to have a weird odor?
Well it kinda looks like you have boobs in the second pic
your general bone structure seems to be unaffected by testosterone whatsoever, including your hands.
you look like you didn't have puberty, basically, so that's lucky.
Mhh, I think you could do better with a more mature style.
Right now you look extremely andro. Which, if transgender I don't know if you want?
You do you though, I just think you would pass as cis if you do less andro styles. Passability standards in rl are a lot lower than here desu.
Good luck with your stuff.
Yeah, fake ones sadly.
I did go through puberty though, my voice is really deep and I have more bodyhair growth than any of my male friends. Including beard growth ofcourse.
Luckily my bone structure wasn´t that heavily affected though, so that´s a big plus.
I do identify as a girl, but I enjoy the style.
Currently this is about the best I can do, but with the help of hormones I may be able to do alot more.
So, I could never pass... right?
19 y/o never done anything to make myself look more feminine ever. I've got awful dysphoria and want to transition badly but I'm scared it won't work out because... yeah.
>inb4 broken nose and jaw
Fist fights don't make you prettier. Since I'd definitely need surgery anyways I could have it corrected then. Haven't had anything done already because I honestly don't care what I look like as a guy.
Easier to remove than something else...
I don't want anyone to hugbox me, be honest. You shouldn't lie on the internet, you know?
Yes. Not really with
per se, but with the idea of transitioning. Only reason I haven't started HRT is because I know it can't work miracles
>ugly boys make ugly girls
and all that.
Is it normal for your face to change after only 3 months? I'm only on 2mg of E, but my face has definitely gotten softer. I used to have a more pronounced mouth, like Homer Simspon but not that bad, but now it's not really like that at all.
Yeahhhh. I'm torn between being incredibly happy for this person because- wow- look how beautiful they are! And then also incredibly sad for myself because I'm, uh, not?
Not terribly productive thinking of course- but there you have it anon. Any room on the floor to cry on?
Thanks for the replies :) I think I will stew on it for this week then come out on Saturday when I see my family and go private. Two years is a crazy wait...
I do not understand patriotic British people, this damp grey island brings me down.
I would love to hear some peoples coming out stories if you do not mind sharing
To be fair, I used 9chat because it usally gave some hilarious results from the closeminded people there when you were open about being transgender.
So I used it more for that entertainment value than attention.
So I just got back from my first endo appointment. The doctor was this super-intimidating russian lady. She wants me to start both blockers and HRT at the same time even though my gender therapist recommended I start blockers first. She asked me why I wanted to just do blockers and I told her I was just nervous I guess (I tried to avoid using the words "I wanted to just try it out" because I thought that might keep her from giving me them.
I guess I still am on the fence about this. Well it's more like I have almost my whole body over the fence but there's like just one pinky toe just hanging on.
It seems like whenever I'm feeling really dysphoric (especially during sex) I legitimately hate being a man, I want breasts and I want a vagina and I want to be a hot girl, but whenever it's like "okay, I can actually DO this now I just recoil in anxiety and reluctance"
Am I really trans? I need advice.
Think about your life so far. All the places you've been, the people you've met, the things you've done. Would you have preferred to do all of that as a woman?
Now think about your future. Not as a woman, not as a man, just what you'd like to do in the future. Now apply gender to those aspirations and see how it affects them. If you don't think there are any downsides to being a woman then you need a reality check.
Now lay on the issues surrounding being transgender. Think about the extra expenses, the time, the prejudices. You have to come to terms with the fact that you will not be a woman, no matter what Tumblr says. You'll be a transwoman. Is it worth it to you?
Now let's talk about your dysphoria for a second. Why do you want a vagina? Just to make sex with men easier? Do you dislike having a penis because you genuinely feel disassociated with it or because you think it would be more convenient to have a vagina?
Why do you want breasts and to be a hot girl? Is that how you would like to see yourself, or would that just make it easier for you to attract men?
I'm not saying you have to think every moment as a transwoman will be better, and I'm not saying you can't genuinely be trans just because you're attracted to men, that'd be ridiculous. This is just food for thought.
>Now let's talk about your dysphoria for a second. Why do you want a vagina? Just to make sex with men easier? Do you dislike having a penis because you genuinely feel disassociated with it or because you think it would be more convenient to have a vagina?
>Why do you want breasts and to be a hot girl? Is that how you would like to see yourself, or would that just make it easier for you to attract men?
Thanks lmao but I'm into girls.
But yeah the feeling I get from my penis is not necessarily dissociation but definitely dislike. It feels wrong and dysfunctional, as if I'm not meant to have sex that way.
I've though about the downsides to being a woman and trans and they suck obviously, but the idea of growing old as a man and brining my body any further in testosterone are far more horrifying than the idea of a bunch of people I've never met thinking I'm an abomination.
I definitely would have preferred to have been born a girl and lived through childhood as a girl.
I'm sorry I'm not sure what you're asking,
I do agree with the statement that "cis people dont wonder if they're cis" at least the majority probly dont, I'm not 100% sure cuz i would say i'm not one. I was very confused for a long time, even rejected the idea of being trans.
I also regret not doing this sooner.
You seem to be at the same point i was at 29. I didnt want end up an old man filled with regret,
I hope you figure out what you want to do.
I don't know what I'm asking either anon. I'm just sort of, uh, venting I guess. Thinking out loud. Working things out.
but I was reflecting on my drive home today "dang - why didn't anyone tell me about this when I was a kid?" come on now. That'd been something
Not the person you're talking to, but...
>dang - why didn't anyone tell me about this when I was a kid?
I feel the same way, but honestly, I don't know if offering blockers to kids is a good idea.
Stopping puberty is no joke, and kids (16 and under in my book) might not understand the seriousness of what they're doing.
Has anyone here experimented with, currently use, or know the efficacy of Bovine Ovary as an alternative to script HRT. I have done mass quantities of google searches even delved through some scientific articles to no avail other than product placement by what seems to be like an overactive PR team. I need to know effects, timelines etc. Any help would be much appreciated.
Maybe not blockers, but just like general resources. I had pretty much no idea what was happening except to think that I was growing into some sort of fetishist (before I even knew what that meant either) and that my thoughts were somehow abbérant or wrong. I guess resources did exist maybe; but like really what I wanted was some reassurance that there were options available beyond "be incredibly confused, and then feel real, real ashamed".
Well if it cheers you up, the day we develop special brain scanners that will determine whether a child is trans or not will come long, long after the day we figure out how to completely reverse puberty.
I'm not kidding either:
Does anyone have any insight on living with these feelings without the goal of transitioning? Like either in accepting yourself as your original gender or finding a productive way to manage your dysphoria on a daily basis? Maybe transition is the only true solution; but it seems like there would be some middle ground somewhere where you could make peace with your feelings and accept what you can't change.
Unrelated but also related- has anyone had success with online counseling or support groups (beyond, uh, 4chan)? It's a pretty small world where I live and I'm
Not really ready to speak out loud to anyone I know.
I have had limited success with playing a little girl in video games, watching little girls in anime, and drinking cheap scotch. It dulls the pain, albeit briefly.
Any counseling or support group outside of 4chan is just going to tell you to transition and that you'll be very very pretty, especially if you won't.
Stupid question but I can't find any decent answers online. Where do I need to have my hair removed if I'm mtf? Trying to cut costs where I can. I figure face, chest, tummy, back and bum right? Girls have some hair on their arms, hands and feet after all correct? It's pretty light.
Everywhere that bugs you. Body hair varies from girl to girl, but you should get rid of any that make you feel less pretty.
To answer your question; Yes, girls do have peach fuzz on their arms and rarely shave it. Not so much hands and feet but it does happen.
>tfw repressing my dysphoria to avoid the hell that is transitioning
>tfw I hate who I am, what I could be, and what I could have been
>tfw over 20 and past the point of no return anyways
>tfw consistently suicidal but never determined enough to act on it
I don't even know why I'm posting this. I certainly don't need to write it down for myself, and there's nothing anyone can do for me. Please subscribe for future blog entries.
Yeah I feel that way too, I wish too there was a way to tell earlier in life. its really hard trying to figure it all out on your own, then comes the decision making, what do i do now that i know i'm trans.
Youre not alone here,
I thought It was too late for me to transition for a while but what helped me is I saw a timeline of someone else who transitioned at 29/30, and she turned out beautiful. actually she was more inspiration for me to finally transition than anything else.
>over 20 and past the point of no return anyways
You may be objectively right about this, or as you stew in it you may find that the point of no return will keep trailing a couple of years behind you.
Let go in what sense? Let go of my inhibition and go for it? Or let go of my desire for change and try to live with what I've got. if the later; do you have any experience with doing so? Does it get easier?
The best possible scenario would be having supportive parents and puberty blockers. Or just getting it right from the womb on. I doubt I will ever stop dreaming about these things.
How much regret can you actually carry before the suicidal ideation catches up to you, though? You're fucked either way to some extent, but you're not as far down the hole right now as you will be in 2018. Transitioning and feeling like a freak isn't appealing, but a status quo of suicidal ideation may only seem better because changing gears is terrifying.
Thought experiment: If your body spontaneously put the brakes on testosterone and started easing you into girlmones, would you go with it or would you try to stop it?
>let go of my desire for change and try to live with what I've got
>do you have any experience with doing so?
>Does it get easier?
No. Transitioning certainly isn't easy either, especially if you are anything like me and wouldn't want to get stuck 'in between' masculine and feminine.
>The best possible scenario
Hardly ever worth mentioning, in any situation.
>How much regret can you actually carry before the suicidal ideation catches up to you
Shall we wait and find out?
>Transitioning and feeling like a freak isn't appealing
Failure to transition properly would easily push me over the edge.
>Thought experiment: If your body spontaneously put the brakes on testosterone and started easing you into girlmones, would you go with it or would you try to stop it?
That... is interesting. I feel that I wouldn't stop it, though I can't seem to place my finger on why I would be more accepting of it if it were 'natural'. Fuck. Good question, anon.
(Different anon, similar feelings)
If my body just all of a sudden started pumping out girlmones I'd probably be ecstatic. Then it would be out of my control and I could just ride off into the sunset and shrug and say "can't fight nature am I right?". But that's not really a rational expectation. It feels more like the question "if you woke up tomorrow and shit was magicly different would you be happy?" You bet your ass I would- but magic isn't real.
Record yourself and listen to it. If you think it sounds reasonable, let someone else listen to it without giving them any context about it. If they ask (and don't know), tell them it's your friend or something.
Also, you can try answering the phone with the voice and see if people think they have the wrong number, lol.
Hey, trans help general, I need your help. I ID as a cis lesbian, albeit butch, right now, but... I have questions.
I keep getting misgendered as a dude, and it's because of how I dress, how I carry myself, and the fact that I deepened my voice (started at about 11 when I realized I wanted to have a deep bass rumble). I felt awful wearing feminine things, and like my self-image better than ever. I don't get anxious when I get 'sir'd except when I'm with friends (where they get all awkward about it) or at university (where there will likely be confusion about grades, because I look like a dude but my first name is Emma). Otherwise, I don't give a single fuck. If people weren't awkward about it, either pronoun would be fine. I hate correcting teachers and students -- it's bullshit and never worth the trouble.
Do I sound trans to you? Does anyone have this experience in common?
>>The best possible scenario
>Hardly ever worth mentioning, in any situation.
Yeah, I agree. Sometimes the past seems malleable and real, but it isn't.
>"if you woke up tomorrow and shit was magicly different would you be happy?"
That's a bit different, that's more like the push-a-button question. In this scenario your body spontaneously begins a second puberty. You get new hormones and it's up to you how to react. This is more, "If the ball started rolling, which direction would you push?"
It's interesting that both of you would be more okay with nature switching your 'mones. If the results were equal, what feels different about taking hormones yourself versus your body switching tracks? Is it social?
You could be transgender, but if you're comfortable with who you are, and only want to deviate from gender roles, then you really shouldn't consider transsexualism.
Gender dysphoria is a reason to transition. Empathizing with the opposite gender's stereotypes is not. If you can accept your body as it is do not fuck with it.
I'm honestly not sure.
You've reopened a door I've been trying to close for a while, and while I do appreciate the insight... I'm just super confused with myself again.
I suppose I may like the idea because it pushes me in the direction I really want to go, but I just don't know.
Is living as a woman really as bad as they say? What I mean is, if you pass do you really get catcalled, stared at, followed home, talked over, and generally just looked down upon? I already hate people and just want to be left alone. I would rather just go boymode forever than deal with that shit. I don't think I have the balls to live as a woman.
That's definitely the case -- my body is fine, and the thought of having a dick kind of weirds me out, as do dicks in general -- but the person who I want to be, and the way I want to present socially (including how I look) aligns with men. I guess that means I have no reason to transition with regards to my biology, as I'm pretty much alright with myself. I'm not comfortable sexually, but it's not like I'm actively suicidal or anything, and that's probably a separate issue anyway.
I don't know how to deal with people who need to know (ie professors) though. Dealing with the fact that people are uncomfortable with my disconnect between mental conception/social presentation and sex (which is really what pronouns are about, tumblirinas be damned) is really painful. People avoid me because of it, and I'm terrible at making friends anyway, and I want to fix that.
Sorry for the blogpost -- I'm drunk.
>Is living as a woman really as bad as they say?
It has more pro's then con's imo. But to answer your question yeah you will be catcalled and looked at/judged by everyone including other girls so if you don't like attention and people looking at you then your best bet is to go totally fat/ugly girl then people will ignore you for the most part.
>the thought of having a dick kind of weirds me out, as do dicks in general
I hear you there, I feel the same way but was born with one... yeesh. That being said, SRS is completely optional. No need for you to get a dick if you don't want one. Not all trans people feel genital dysphoria.
>the person who I want to be, and the way I want to present socially
Are you saying you want people to call you sir, and be treated as a man in all aspects of your life? This is not a small thing.
>I don't know how to deal with people who need to know (ie professors) though. Dealing with the fact that people are uncomfortable with my disconnect between mental conception/social presentation and sex (which is really what pronouns are about, tumblirinas be damned) is really painful. People avoid me because of it, and I'm terrible at making friends anyway, and I want to fix that.
It sort of sounds to me like you think transitioning will have a positive effect on your social life. It almost certainly will not unless you have massive confidence issues caused by being female.
>Sorry for the blogpost
You're on a blog board, this is what you do here.
I don't know you and I don't really know how you feel, but I strongly doubt transitioning is right for you, and somewhat doubt that you are transgender. Not that I'm an expert on it by any stretch, especially with FtM issues.
Sober up love. You want to be in a perfectly sound state of mind when you think about this stuff.
Off my chest post incoming:
I'm male, I'm alright having a dick, I'm alright being called male, all that good stuff. Only thing is, recently I've been looking into hormone shit and having a female body really interests me, a "trap" if you will. Taking hormones are whatever you do, all that stuff sounds alright in my head, though I don't want to go all the way, a sex change.
Still, if I woke up completely female I'd be fine.
Anyone else share these feelings? Is this a common thought process? I'm not sure.
Are you gay?
Do you want to be a slut?
Have you been jerking off to that 'sissy' garbage?
If it's just a fetish for you then you should not. Just feminize without hormones and crossdress.
Only thing that might bother me really, as much as I say kids are little shits and I don't want them, a part of me somewhat considers it.
Also, voice doesn't change when taking hormones, right? I get mixed results when I look into it.
your voice will not change if you go mtf
you can bank sperm
by the time your banked sperm doesn't work there may be other options
yeah it's a pretty bleak outlook but there's hope in there
>Sober up love. You want to be in a perfectly sound state of mind when you think about this stuff.
I have a lot of automatic filter and anxiety when I think about this stuff that prevents me from answering honestly, and I'm still drunk, but okay. I'm already working on this stuff -- with regards to university being sober is probably event more important.
>massive confidence issues caused by being female
That state of being's social implications, not the actual state of being itself.
>It sort of sounds to me like you think transitioning will have a positive effect on your social life.
Having my first name changed to what I'm usually called (my middle name, thankfully very androgynous and applicable to both genders) would make a lot of things 100x easier, because I do feel I fall in-between, and the feminine first name fucks with me. I really don't know what else 'transition' would entail, especially because I'm comfortable with my body. That way either pronoun would work, and any confusion would be about my sex, instead of which person you were talking about. I mean to say, "Emma" as a name feels like another (too feminine) person, but the one I'm called feels gender nonspecific, proper, and right.
>Are you saying you want people to call you sir, and be treated as a man in all aspects of your life?
Again, pronouns don't matter (it's just language, anyway) and I don't resent my sex organs, but otherwise, yes, I'd prefer to be treated like a male in all other aspects of my life.
>This is not a small thing.
I know. I've been confident about my gender presentation forever, but there's a breaking point that one reaches when dealing with this alone, and I'm approaching it.
Wherever you land or stand on this issue, it changes nearly everything in some way. That's a monster of a thing to parse.
Nothing beats a (good!) therapist to help with untangling complex thoughts and feelings.
It's a meager response, but still: Good luck, anon.
>If you don't like attention and people looking at you then your best bet is to go totally fat/ugly girl then people will ignore you for the most part.
>Implying people don't talk trash about fat/ugly people behind their backs.
>t's interesting that both of you would be more okay with nature switching your 'mones. If the results were equal, what feels different about taking hormones yourself versus your body switching tracks? Is it social?
Definitely social I think. Because it carries with it the weight of a decision that has to be made (by me). But I think also part of it is still the impossibility of the imaginary scenario. Plus whenever a question like this is posed I still tend to think in the past tense (IE: what if this had happened already?) rather than in the present/future tense (this starts happening tomorrow). I think also at first I hadn't considered that the results would be equal.
So considering the question again in the context of: I'm me; a male having already undergone puberty and felt pretty much those full effects- what happens if tomorrow my body switches gear by itself and starts girlmones. Hmmm. My brain still says it sounds like a dream come true; but again I'm imagining a sort of miracle scenario where because the occurrence is 'natural' (magic in this case) it makes it easier to win the acceptance of family, friends, and coworkers. Because it's 'natural' it feels like it would be easier for other people to come to accept me as woman; which is frankly something I don't think I would ever get if I made the decision myself. So, same answer I think. It's a social thing.
Well, its more complicated than that (it generally is). I will say this though - I kind of feel better having just read these threads for a few weeks? Maybe not any less confused or stressed, but its kind of nice to see that these feelings aren't necessarily uncommon and I'm not alone. Which is something at least.
MtF here. Someone on here said HRT will thin my eyebrows. So i'm wondering how long into hrt will i notice changes in my hair, body,head,facial.
This is probly in my head but i swear my facial and body hair is already softer.