READ THE OP
FtMg: Aggresion Edition
Don't forget to sage and wait to make new threads until we're at bump limit on page 9-10.
Ancient map: https://www.zeemaps.com/edit/U0Hw9yNtqrJd-qzTdbUFMw
Some info (excuse the tumblr, it's truscum): http://helpfultransinfo.tumblr.com/tags/
Skype group: add cheeki-briki or duckduckfrog
Google Hangout: TBA
i got jasper a cat tree and he seems pleased with it.
also i had to clean congealed blood and lymph fluid off my tongue this morning. they dont turn into scabs and crusts in the mouth because its moist, so you dont get the really satisfying picking sensation of crusties. its just kind of slimy instead.
anyone else here that isnt into the modern trans movement? like, hate brain sex theory, dont think people have a right to decide what pronouns should be used on them, dont think hormone therapy should be the first line of treatment for sex dysphoria... etc etc
So.. how many people think they know better than doctors with years of training, want to restrict/remove access to a proven treatment for a mental disease with an extremely high fatality rate, disagree with neuroscientists while having no scientific training of their own, disagree that people should have basic human freedoms like the right to decide on their own name?
Surprisingly, a lot of people. Humans are shit like that.
You want this board.
did they mock you for being trans? sometimes people who are trans or gay and in denial and hate that about themselves are shitty towards people who are openly whatever it is they hate about themselves... but them passing has nothing to do with you, and shouldn't make you feel shitty about yourself at all...
i've never had a cat who liked those, my cat (he's become more of a family pet now, he actually lived here before i did cuz of my s/o's mom being a cunt... long story) wasn't at all interested in his... he liked this collapsible cube tent though, it had a cat toy in the middle, and he'd push it around and play in it...
i just ordered gypsy some toys cuz her bday is feb 1st so she's getting a bird abacus, a foraging toy, and this cart thing with letter blocks...
that sounds like it must feel gross, my smiley never really got much of anything during the healing process, or at least nothing i noticed, i guess cuz it's such a thin piece of skin and then inside your mouth where it doesn't scab... is the swelling down significantly yet?
i don't see why it matters if someone chooses their pronouns, even if someone isn't trans (as in experiences dysphoria) i don't see calling them whatever they want as a bad thing... if someone wants that for whatever reason there's absolutely no reason to deny them that, it makes no difference really to anyone but them so why not respect that?
as for the brain shit... i'm not sure what you mean, it is a matter of the way people's brains are wired... it's not something that's social or can be fixed just by denying someone treatment... hrt and surgery are the only treatments that provide a level of relief (and doctors agree on that) so why would anyone be against someone getting proper treatment for their illness? do you think there's any other issues someone might have where proper medical treatment isn't ok?
in all honesty i don't even see anything wrong with someone just choosing to go on hormones and get surgery cuz they want to (i just only think it should be covered by insurance if it's an actual medical issue) cuz it's not really up to me or anyone else to tell someone how to live or what they need to look like... if it makes someone happy and doesn't hurt anyone else (and other people having strong opinions and feelings about someone's physical appearance or pronouns doesn't count as "hurting" anyone) why give a shit?
I was staring down at myself in displeasure while showering this morning when I realised something. Since puberty, I've had poor body image but for the longest time, I'd assumed that I just thought myself fat and ugly like everyone else did. Never really believed that though and I couldn't pinpoint what I actually hated. That was probably dysphoria I couldn't make sense of...
yeah now that you mention it i suppose the swelling probably wouldn't go down that quick considering... do you have replacement jewelry for when it does or are you going back to the shop to switch it out? i can't stand leaving jewelry that's meant to allow for swelling in longer than necessary... when my monroe was first pierced after the swelling went down the bar was too long and actually got caught under my teeth while i was eating... it got pulled about halfway into the hole, and i had to push it back out... bled like crazy... it fucking sucked, it's also the reason why it's the only oral piercing i had left... i actually lost it at one point, but when it healed the visible hole from it didn't close right so i had my s/o repierce it (when he worked at the tattoo shop as an artist he helped the piercer out often and learned how to do some piercings + we had sterile clamps and needles etc from his job)
i imagine when it's your tongue though the longer jewelry probably sucks more after all the swelling is gone
yeah it probably was... a lot of people don't realize the difference between normal insecurity (or even extreme insecurity that isn't dysphoria) and dysphoria, so it's harder to figure it out especially when you're younger...
>try to eat a tiny scrap of bread with butter on while soup is heating up
>die inside from the pain
i had it pierced on saturday.
the bar change was included in the price so i just have to go back after the swelling has gone down and any bruising has healed. according to other people who have tongue piercings, the bar change to a (much) shorter bar is almost heavenly.
It pisses me off that I'd been misidentifying this whole thing for so long. But I couldn't tell what was normal and what wasn't! Argh.
>tfw can't go back and warn younger self to avoid 8 years of bullshit
Ouch. I heal insanely fast(4-10x, literal wolverine speed), but I also have immune system issues where I can't even drink due to my body identifying it as a poison and losing it's complete shit, so I wonder if piercing would be better for me than most folks, or worse.
i have fragile skin and slow wound healing (thanks ehlers danlos syndrome you piece of shit) and i manage fine. i think it would be a case of trying it but being prepared to take it out if shit starts to go south and being certain what you have in it is 100% implant grade (not surgical grade)
i dont know about the immune side of it outside of the fact bodies do generally identify it as a bad thing and get rid of and try for a while (thus the lymph fluid, swelling and redness).
Well, I have some kind of hyperimmune system. So if it's an immune system reaction, and not just ye old normal woundhealing stuff, good chances my one would be hyper in some fashion. Which would likely suck.
i bet, i've seen the difference in bar sizes and the piercing one looks uncomfortable as fuck... it's cool that it was included in the price, most shops i've been to don't do that
yeah i get that... at least you know enough to know how to move forward now though, that's about the best you can get...
besides don't you know the rules of time travel? you can't interact with yourself, that could lead to all kinds of disasters, or you can but you'd still end up here right now... it only ever goes two ways in movies...
you're putting a foreign object through a wound, and forcing your body to heal around it... so immune reactions are common, and it'd probably be a bad idea if that's case for you... especially cuz with a piercing and shit like infection you're actually supposed to leave the jewelry in while you treat the infection
i imagine you probably couldn't get tattoos either (and if you do never attempt to use red or brown ink, a lot of people have issues with both and if you're pre-disposed to problems that's practically asking for it... some inks like mom's have more natural ingredients, but from what i know some of the colours in that brand work like shit)
I fucking hate time travel fiction because it always gets super complicated with bullshit rules. But I can just imagine how much easier it could have been if 13 year old me found a note saying "you don't like your body and don't know why, you don't like your name but can't come up with a better one, you straight up prayed to become a boy - PUT IT TOGETHER, KID."
time travel fiction: Palimpsest, by Charles Stross. Check that one out then get back to me.
Metallic implants in my flesh: Yeah, it would probably go all kinds of wrong. But maybe it would be amazing and fine. I mean, my utter immunity to infection has to be good for /something/.
i'm curious, but i hate committing to reading anything without an idea of the writing style first otherwise i'd just buy it... what other books do you like?
there's only one way to find out i suppose... i'm guessing your parents didn't pierce your ears when you were a kid...
rothfuss, peter f hamilton, other stross stuff, stieg larsson, pratchett, abercrombie, jonathan strange and mr norrell, I like a lot of sci fi and fantasy if it sells me on the world.
Glasshouse and Iron Sunrise by Stross are probably required reading for anyone interested in futurism. Glasshouse is probably specifically something ftms should read.
i've actually never read anything by any of those authors, i don't tend to read sci fi or fantasy actually, i'm just open to reading whatever, but i don't tend to gravitate towards either genre... particularly fantasy
+ when it comes to sci fi i've enjoyed kurt vonnegut , robert heinlein , orson scott card, william gibson, neal stephenson, douglas adams, h g wells, and philip k dick... like i said, i can enjoy some writers within the genre, but yeah...
Movies are inherently shorter than books, and usually less complex. Time travel fiction is relatively rare, The Time Machine is the only well known one and it was written a long, long time ago.
For a more interesting take on time travel, I suggest grabbing Palimpsest.
idk, takes me about the same amount of time to get through a movie as it does most books... so... yeah...
i'm picky about writing styles though, which is why i was curious about your taste... if i'm not drawn in by the writing style then i can't get into a book
i'd say the one exception to that was the obscene bird of night which i really enjoyed, even though the writing was a little convoluted (i imagine part of that was due to the fact that it was translated though so i cut it some slack) but that book had some fucked up shit in it, and came together well in the end... it's surrealistic fiction though not sci fi
>did they mock you for being trans? sometimes people who are trans or gay and in denial and hate that about themselves are shitty towards people who are openly whatever it is they hate about themselves... but them passing has nothing to do with you, and shouldn't make you feel shitty about yourself at all...
They purposely misgendered my boyfriend and I, said that they were transphobic because they had trans friends
Dated some genderqueer person afterwards and constantly posted stuff about how cute their s/o looked when being forced to present feminine at their house and said she liked her s/o better "as a girl"
When they broke up she starting saying she was trans and has been on/off about it for like a year now and constantly changing what the fuck her identity is
>Nevermind I'm cis
>Nevermind I'm cis
>I'm a demiboy
>Nevermind I'm genderfluid
I know about the people who mock others in denial stage, she's not one of them, she's just an asshole
+ honestly, just disconnect and stop bothering with that shit, no one needs that in their life... sounds like you kept them around for way too fucking long to begin with
they're clearly fucked anyway, don't know themselves, insecure etc anyway... and no matter how well they pass it doesn't change all that shittiness and confusion so fuck 'em
oh that sucks... i imagine not very close friends though if they're fine with that level of disrespect towards you, that doesn't mean don't hang out with them or anything... just an observation
i hope you just respect whatever pronouns they're going by whenever in front of people you both know though... cuz yeah... people will latch onto that as you being a dick...
Yeah, they're not close friends, but we're in the same cosplay circles and such
I don't use her name and pronouns though considering she doesn't do the same for me
Why should I respect her when she doesn't do the same for me? I really don't care for being a bigger person or what not, but she rarely comes up in conversation anyway so it's not like I have too much to worry about
I do have a few mutual friends who give me heads ups if she's going to a con or a meetup or whatever and I know my closest pals detest her as much as me
honestly? cuz being petty doesn't do shit for you... and it's pointless, do whatever you want, but really it isn't about them or what they've done, it's about how your behaviour reflects on you... you have mutual friends, who get to see the way you both act, if you wanna put yourself on that same level feel free, but sometimes being the bigger person makes you feel a lot better...
Anyone else here feel like cross-dressing sometimes HELPS dysphoria?
I sometimes enjoy putting on a "girl costume", a wig and makeup and all that jazz for a while, half because I enjoy makeup and dress-up in general, and how soothing it is to take it all off as soon as I get bored.
I might not be able to just take my boobs off, but removing a heavily padded bra and seeing how flat I really am in comparison is a mild consolation prize.
Like somehow dressing up as a girl and then taking it off draws a distinct line between Being A Girl and my normal, default appearance of Not Being A Girl.
Maybe it'll stop once I get on HRT and the dysphoria gets easier.
Reminds me of the last cosplay I did where I wore a skirt (with shorts underneath cos let's not get crazy) and wasn't binding (a no-go in public without strategic layering). It was weird at first but then I settled that I was playing a character, not myself.
Going back to dirty hobo mode after that did feel good.
Like inspiration. Whether it's other straight men you want to look like, or other actual ftms.. do you really not have any images you save and work towards it?
Well I don't know about your personal situation, but there's a lot you can do to your face to alter it even without surgery - takes a lot of time and effort though so wish you the best.
I dunno anything about what you guys are going through, but I just wanna give you all a tip.
Chew bubblegum while working out. You'll get a manlier jaw. Stay away from gum with aspartame or other artificial sweetners, not because they're bad for growth but they're just unhealthy in general.
>come to think of it, i don't know any either
>check most popular posts on tumblr's ftm tag
>prepare for the worst
>huh there's actually some qts here
>would bang, would bang, would not bang, w-
>what the fuck is this
don't go into tumblr it's garbage in there.
I haven't found any fashion inspiration that I'd like more than the men's clothes in Harry Potter films. I know exactly how fucking stupid that sounds but I couldn't focus on the plot for the last 3 movies because I kept getting distracted by a really cool pin stripe robe thing or some shit.
i think my s/o is cute as fuck... i don't think i'm anything special, but i've had plenty of people tell me otherwise... and i've seen plenty of transguys i thought were cute, not like there's one specific look every transguy has
idk my overcompensation phase made my dysphoria worse, and i can't even imagine doing that shit now... i think coming to terms with being trans helped the way i see myself, and i'm just not into cross dressing... i don't think it'd make me feel more dysphoric at this point, more just like... it'd be like a weird joke only i'd get so meh...
>still have T
>no syringes left
>haven't managed to get a hold of my doctor yet
>missed a dose
I fucked up.
Brain is officially blowing this out of proportion now, but still.
S h i t .
Weekly, so it's about... three days late now. I kinda turned it into an anxious bullshit thing with my medical insurance about to change up, so I've handled it poorly.
Do pharmacies do emergency fills? I am laughably bad at dealing with medical anything. Everything I have checked says I need to have doctor authorization to refill my scrip for syringes.
Googling for my state, thanks for giving me an idea to check.
If boys IRL were like boys in Anime I would be gay to be honest. But there's no cute, pure boys IRL like there is in Anime.
Is it insurance-related airing of grievances time? I switched to a different health insurance (small, private company) at the start of 2016 and the coverage looked really good. They filled my prescription for T with no apparent issues at the pharmacy. Now, with one (weekly) dose left, they tell me that they only cover testosterone for hypogonadism and they refused the prior authorization request my doctor sent in. The appeals process could take a month or more. The prescription they filled that I thought went through with no problems was just a "courtesy" to me so I could ~find a different medication to treat my condition~ or stop taking it. Cool.
It looks like my doctor can get T cheap enough that I can afford to just pay for it out of pocket (thankfully it's generic and not one of those meds that costs like $900/month without insurance or something), but I'm pissed off about this on principle. I didn't fully realize that small insurance companies could get around the laws that generally apply now re: health insurance and exclude coverage for conditions/medications/procedures.
I've been able to get a 3-day supply of medications from my pharmacy before in an "emergency" (when I couldn't get in contact with my provider for them to authorize a refill or whatever). I don't know if it's a universal policy. I feel bad...my pharmacy just has me buy the syringes and needles and they're like 85 cents each. No prescription. I hope you're able to get what you need soon and that your insurance issues go smoothly.
It's funny, I was saying basically the same thing in the last ftm gen. I didn't realize my hatred of my body was tied to dysphoria until I lost weight around 16 or 17.
Say what you will about the fat acceptance movement, but if it had come about a few years earlier, I might have saved myself a lot of pain and confusion.
I have my name change hearing tomorrow. Wish me luck, m8s! If all goes well, my life will be significantly less awkward from here on out.
I've also been passing a lot more lately (after almost a year since coming out). For once I feel like my life is really looking up.
I tried to get just needles in another pharmacy (I was shown to measure and inject with different needles, but my pharmacy only carried syringe+needle combos and didn't give me extra) and was turned away.
Yeah, it looks like there's an emergency provision like that here. That's what I'm gonna try tomorrow if I don't have any luck getting my doctor on the line.
Wait... I also live in Texas, and I was told by my doctor that you could buy them over-the-counter. I just moved here and haven't had to do it yet, but I'm pretty sure my doctor would know. Does it vary by county or something?
I've never really understood what people mean when they say 'pure'. Does it mean.. innocent? Or uninterested in sex? Or interested in sex, but like, repressed, so you have to unrepress them and get your jollies out of that or something. I actually can't parse it. Because all those things exist, but people say 'pure' and don't seem to mean any of them.
I missed last week's shot cause I thought a had run out of t. Turn out I had some all along, I hate myself for not checking all my vials.
I get needles and syringes with out a prescription here would send you some if you need any.
i couldve used a letter saying "watch out for tumblr cliques, also gender isnt a spectrum lmao"
theres almost always some paradox that once i discover it, ruins my suspension of disbelief and stops me from enjoying the plot, no matter how entertaining or well thought out it is. which is a shame
>finally managed to fight myself a time to a trans clinic
>need papers of my former medical history
>was a minor during previous attempt, trusted mom to handle them
>can't fucking find shit, mom insists they're "around here somewhere"
>call the mental ward for ask for new ones
>"you got the wrong number, let me switch you to place A"
>"Hi I got switched over from place B-"
>"You got the wrong number, I'm going to switch you to place A."
>"Hello place A."
>"I need my papers-"
>"You need to call place C. Their phone closed t 14:45."
>It's fucking 15:01
>Finally call place C next morning
>"Hello I need this lil info"
>"We don't tell you none on the phone."
>"k then what."
>"Send us a letter (you gotta scan it if you e-mail) so we have your signature."
>My handwriting is fucking unintelligible
>I need to have this shit in place by the 3rd of february
Current mood: SCREAMS.
Yeah see.. I my qt boyfriends more jaded.
In fact I find most people annoyingly like what you're describing, all fresh-faced and puppyish. It wearies me.
Ring up trans clinic. Tell them exactly what you just typed here, maybe less screaming. They will likely be able to directly request the documents/info from place C on their own - or alternately waive your need to have them.
Signature doesn't need to be legible. Type up something, print it, sign it, scan it/photograph it. Alternatively, write a fake letter in paint, sign it with your mouse. They literally do not care, they just need to have your signature in their files so they can claim no wrongdoing.
See, protecting and nurturing completely trashed whores is generally my preference. Fresh faced 'pure' whatever don't need protecting, they need to go out into the world and make mistakes and learn things.
Also, what people in offices say is rarely absolute things. Things can often be bent, worked around, etc. Communicating clearly to them what is going on/what problems you are having fulfilling what they've requested will nearly always, in my experience, lead to some kind of workaround or fix. Sometimes you have to go talk to someone else in the office, though, as you might have run into the local asshole or idiot.
>How do I find a bf.
Talk to guys and see which ones might have an interest with you
As for a good bf? I'm not sure
I'm not sure, every relationship I've ever been in has been toxic and bad for my mental health. I've been out of the dating game for years by choice
I'm a guy, you're talking to me.
Also I'm not sure about that number, I think way more than 5% is at least a little bi.
I also think that similar people tend to find each other if they're willing to put themselves out there. As someone with anxiety I understand that's not always something you can just do but if you can manage to I think you'll find the kind of people you're looking for.
this is why there are various gay events/meetups
and also why gays have all the signaling, so they can spot each other in the crowds of straight people
are you in some like drought area where the only outlet is grindr, and there's no gay social or interest groups at all
The workaround in this case is signing a piece of paper and then sending them a picture of the signed bit of paper, that you've already asked them about etc. The point is there's always a way to do these things, and if there isn't, people will try to make one for you.
Talking to strangers is rude in most parts of the world. If you're not charming/socially skilled enough to overcome that (Which most people aren't), that's why there's all kinds of interest groups and social groups and bars and clubs and friends of friends and so on. A huge amount of human social activity is aimed at finding and procuring a mate.
>all the signaling
Can you explain me what you mean like I'm autistic, because I literally am.
Yes, I'm in a gay drought area. I'll need to travel for hours to the nearest city with a gay scene, and I don't think I'm willing to invest that kind of time and money on not finding love.
I'm not saying I'm not gonna do that, I'm just saying I'm going to complain about it every step of the way.
I have nothing to work with except for grindr, and 90% of the dudes messaging me are american fake profiles.
>Can you explain me what you mean like I'm autistic, because I literally am.
I think they're referring to body language. Gay guys tend to have a certain type of body language like flitting their hands/arms or positing their hips in certain ways while talking.
I'm probably mildly autistic too because I'm having a hard time explaining it but I can recognize it.
'Flaming' etc started out as a way for gays to basically say 'i'm gay' without straight people realizing it, so they could get laid without getting bashed. It's since become a cultural thing, but people don't need to be flamingly gay to still have bits and pieces of it, like hand gestures, tone of voice, looking at dudes in a sexual way, posing, certain kinds of laughter, certain sayings. They also dress differently, from slightly differently to extremely differently, in specific ways. Sometimes there's specific signalling, like an earring in a specific ear, or wearing a pink shirt, or wearing only a thong and standing on a float in mardi gras.
If you can't read signalling, then you just gotta travel. Bf > travel time, just read a book or listen to music. You can turn a hookup into a relationship, but that takes social skills and also kinda sounds like not what you're looking for.
Also jump on gaygen and ask the guys there if anyone there knows anyone in your area who can give you some how-to. Local knowledge is invaluable, ask any historical general.
>without straight people realizing it
well call me a straight girl becasue I've literally never seen that shit outside of american TV.
I don't have money to travel, and I've fucked enough men to know a hookup doesn't turn into a relationship.
I want a boyfriend and to be loved and someone to make coffee for. Not one more dude that takes "I don't care what you do to me at this point" as a "yes".
>Not one more dude that takes "I don't care what you do to me at this point" as a "yes".
People are complicated, I'm in a somewhat similar situation though I live in the US it should be easier I can only seem to find hookup opportunities which I'm not interested in at this point in my life.
For the purposes of just getting off I'd rather stay home and jack off.
I'm too dysphoric to masturbate. That, or I'm just really, really, really, really bad at it and I don't have any more money to invest in high-tech sex toys that my entire family will hear than I have to travelling to another continent after dick.
I just want a nice fat boy to cuddle.
Most gay guys aren't flaming. And flaming gay guys tend to stick to the more left-leaning areas of major cities. Because while they don't get beaten to death (as much) anymore, people still don't like them.
Being able to spot the signaling is tough enough that it's referred to as 'gaydar' and some people can't do it at all. It's subtle stuff. If you can't spot the gay people in your local area and befriend them and eventually qt bf, then going to meetup events is probably your best/only avenue.
And some types of hookups, probably not the kind you're referring to, can be turned into relationships with care and finesse. But most people on hookup apps are on them because they are bad at doing relationships. Requires a lot of social skill on the other party to make it work. Which you're saying you don't have, which is perfectly fine. Knowing your limitations is the first step to overcoming them.
>I want a boyfriend and to be loved and someone to make coffee for.
And there are lots and lots of guys out there that want that, too. Straight dating isn't exactly a pile of easy, either. Finding someone you're compatible with who is also into you is hard. But if you don't have any money or ability to hitch, and you don't have the social skills to locate gay guys in your local community or find someone not awful grindr and successfully initiate an actual relationship with them, i'm not really sure where you can go from there.
>Straight dating isn't exactly a pile of easy, either.
I know. I tried that. The biggest difference in transitioning was that while the amount of men who are interesting to me remained constant, the amount of men interested in me plummeted.
Just how far am I supposed to travel?
The problem is I hate sex. I have a bad habit of assuming that someone who fucked me owes me anything at all in return for enduring it, which only leaves me resenting them because they don't see it the same way, and that's no way to start a relationship.
I just don't understand what I do wrong.
you just take a vibrator???? and push it against the clit??? and that's supposed to feel good????
I hear finland isn't as good as it's neighbours in terms of lgbt stuff, but my guess is that you're just not doing research. Even 2nd world countries have places for gays to meet up, it's just more on the down low, and there's more furtive married men looking for hookups by volume.
I guess so?
Have you gotten off with another person? You could try to replicate that to start.
My previous bf is ftm and sex was a bit difficult, he could get off using toys but had difficulty reaching orgasm during sex even if he enjoyed it.
Well it honestly sounds like you have a big pile of problems. Trying to find some guy who is okay with all those things is not impossible, but sounds pretty impossible given you seem not to have good skills for searching for one, and no ability to go to the places where one might exist.
I suggest focusing on getting rid of these negative attitudes you have, so the people you can date without fucking it up is a bigger list.
I'm going to go to these gay bars in Helsinki once I have the spoons for it. Right now, I'm stuck in paper war with the trans clinic and trying to find a job and living with my family and my sister's very loud mental illness.
Buddy, you're fucking ace. Want BF, want cuddles, don't like sex. Either due to physical plumbing issues or mental ones.
'Bars' generally means hookups, which means social skills required to make relationship happen. You want meetups, interest groups, coffee clubs, all that kind of stuff. They generally happen during the day.
Where do I FIND that?
is there some gay newsletter I'm not signed in for?
I'm scared of cis men in groups. Especially being left alone with them. Never been gangraped for real but I can't shake the feeling.
she laughed at me, then showed every body at the emo table at lunch
but she would always tell me 'i can't wait until you get your penis'
>I'm scared of cis men in groups. Especially being left alone with them.
Do you not spend much time around them? I'm just wondering if it's something you could be more comfortable with over time or if it's something you've tried to shake but can't.
No. Not at all, actually. I've never had male friends and I don't know how to function around men who don't want to fuck me. Not knowing what they want out of me makes me scared and uncomfortable.
I kind of remember this anon from earlier. As far as I understand, he lives in a misandrist family and has some screwed up ideas about guys.
They have facebook groups, sometimes websites, ads in like websites related to meetups, sometimes notices posted in gay bars, the biggest thing though is word of mouth. Aka knowing gay people in the area.
Ask gaygen for help. If that fails, go to a gay bar and ask the bartender for help. Ring up a lgbt group and ask them for info. Basically, do basic research.
I guess I have to.
Why does everything have to be such hard work? Why do I have to have paperwork and research and argue with doctors and look for newsletters and secret communities just to exist and maybe be loved.
other people get to exist for free.
That's pretty understandable. I'm a cis male but was an androphobe for a long time probably because I only had female friends until I started involving myself in male dominated hobbies like gaming.
ymmv as a transman but exposure therapy can help especially if you're doing it in public areas with a bunch of people around you can easily remove yourself from if you start feeling too anxious.
Regardless though, you have to keep trying to put yourself out there and doing it regularly. Small doses are fine but consistency is key
Just had an ultrasound
>"eh, nothing the pill can't solve! It's nothing bad then!"
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA it's over for me folks
I will when I talk to my doctor
But I'm pretty sure I'm fucked here. The only other option I see is surgery to remove a tiny cyst that will cost me an arm and a leg and whatnot.
Fuck me in the ass
Whining can be helpful to handle stress but once you're in a better place after whining you should really take your opportunity to move forward.
Not trying to tell you how to live your life, just speaking from experience on what helps me.
And I'm takin tribulus terrestris without lettin anyone know
My mom has PCOS, has never taken birth control or anything for the cysts and they only swell sometimes. She was told that it was fine as long as there's no "sudden, severe abdominal or pelvic pain", which usually indicates a cyst has burst or is swollen.
+I have PCOS and took birth control and altered my emotions significantly, very bad anxiety during this time.. and dysphoria, probably because I naturally have higher than normal T levels.
Webmd disclaimer about the tribulus terrestris:
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration does regulate dietary supplements; however, it treats them like foods rather than medications. Unlike drug manufacturers, the makers of supplements don’t have to show their products are safe or effective before selling them on the market.
If you go through an N.D. or a herbal dispensary that should be fine, though. But you might not even be getting the right herb depending on who you're buying it from.
are they shit authors?
when i was a teenager in spite of constantly feeling like i should've been, and wishing i was just born a guy i just figured it was just that i was insecure... the tumblr shit wasn't around then, and instead there wasn't much information about anyone being trans... especially not transguys, my only exposure was transgirls...
my family (except my dad) has become more open minded, but there was a lot of catholic bullshit that i grew up with where it just wasn't acceptable...
i didn't even tell my parents my s/o and i were together for the first couple of years of us dating cuz i was terrified, since he's a transguy so it's like... double gay, (only my brothers knew) and then i didn't come out about being trans 'til i was 24 to my mom (my brothers knew sooner, and i told my dad when i was 25, got a lecture about how he didn't accept me... or my relationship etc) for the same reason...
i don't even judge movies like that harshly to that extent usually... cuz i judge shit on how well it's filmed or how entertaining it is so accuracy doesn't necessarily bother me... they just usually fuck it up... i did find looper entertaining though
find a friend first... dating friends works out best in my experience
stop being terrified of being rude then and just go for it... i doubt you're the only one who's lonely there and wants to talk to someone or meet them
or go to classes, find a job, do shit that makes it hard to not end up talking to people + there's always online...
stop putting yourself in situations where you meet those kinds of people then
+ i'm gonna be honest with you though, my s/o and i have been together for a little over 11 years so far... and honestly, relationships aren't easy... they're a lot of work, and mutual love doesn't make them less work at points, sometimes it's more just the only reason you're both there and trying...
and no relationship is gonna make you feel fulfilled completely, to an extent that comes from within... all your issues won't just disappear cuz you found someone, some will, but others will replace them...
and in all honesty, you don't have a strong sense of self... and that's really important when you're with someone else
How do I get a strong sense of self?
I don't think I have a "self" at all.
Presenting girlmode, nothing would've made me happier than just having someone straight-up dictate me what to do, what to say, what to wear and who to be. Knowing that just not being a girl at all is an option, I still don't know what.
no one exists for free, everyone has problems, and love isn't 100% easy and neither are relationships... you have a really idealistic view of what a relationship is... i make my s/o coffee every morning to wake him up, and we sit in bed together to drink it and i absolutely love that part of the day, but there's also times where we've both seriously wanted to strangle each other... that's the other part of being with someone, so is feeling heartbroken sometimes...
I've been in a relationship before. I know what it's like to be happily getting drunk together and then you say something wrong and he starts yelling at you and you just cry and repeat the same 2 or 3 sentences over and over again because that's all you can say to defend yourself and you're too drunk to be doing this.
I know relationships aren't always nice or fun. I'd just like one where the good outweights the bad.
you spend some time reflecting, meditating, learning about yourself... and living for yourself... you develop interests and hobbies, you deal with your depression in constructive ways, you find things about yourself that are good that you like...
no one wants a puppet... well more like no one you'd actually want to be in a real relationship with wants a puppet... and being someone else's creation like that is really unhealthy and damaging...
in all honesty what you're doing right now is gonna help even if it doesn't feel like it currently... realizing you're trans and taking shit from there is a huge step from where you were... so is knowing the shit you don't want...
how long were you in a relationship? and that's not really what i meant... i've lived with my s/o for over a decade at this point there's shit you've probably never even thought of...
and if the good didn't outweigh the bad, you don't understand... and you talk as if finding someone else will fix you in all the ways you want to be fixed and that's a huge part of what i mean about you having an idealistic view of a relationship
I do have interests and hobbies. I know being a puppet is unhealthy and damaging, and it was just something I did while repressing dysphoria, which is unhealthy and damaging as well. Altogether I've spent eight years dealing with all this nonsense, I've never been more clear of who I am and what I want in my life.
I know nobody else will fix me. I know that's not how it works. I just think I might sleep better having someone warm next to me, and I'm seriously not asking for anything more.
+ and that's not me being harshly critical... i deal with depression and shit too, but it's more like... something i feel less often than i used to that i have better control over currently than i used to... and part of what i realized is at my most depressed i had really skewed ways of thinking about what life is supposed to be that were pretty damn idealistic, and a lot of depressed people do... depression is an illness to an extent, like i'll be honest i don't know that it ever goes away entirely and i doubt it does... but there's ways to manage it, and working on your perspective does help
and that's what i mean when i've said you've already made a lot of progress towards that... and that you can continue to improve from here... when i say you have a weak sense of self and that you need to overcome insecurity it's cuz you constantly complain and do shit like compare yourself to inanimate objects, down yourself, and talk like the only way you could ever have a night with anyone is if you get drunk and let them fuck you without actually knowing shit about who you are...
and yeah a warm body is nice, and probably would help to an extent... but i'm saying it's not the only thing you need, and honestly... i don't think you'll find it in a healthy way in your current state... i think you need to focus on you and give yourself time to exist and function as who you are before you go seeking anyone cuz that's the only way you'll find something meaningful... and like i said before try being friends with people first
yeah. Previously had multiple ones, but in this ultrasound they only saw one
I forgot to say, but I have a lot of pain though, in menstrual period or not. I mean shit Im already a fucking pansy with low tolerance for pain but it's really shit senpai. One time I gave birth to a clot the size of half my hand, no kidding. Kinda cool but still. Pretty painful.
And then I started to see a slight bump in my lower abs n i thought shit senpai I'm the next virgin mary and somehow got preggars.
(Ultrasound didn't find no jesus baby tho)
>tfw you'll never tower over your boyfriend
They can burst and swell? My doctor didn't mention that when she said I wouldn't have to bother treating it...
yeah they can... and also twist your ovary/fallopian tubes... fun shit like that, i found out about that shit the time i got a surprise internal exam at the hospital... i was there for intestinal shit and they found a cyst during the ct scan... it was pure shit, didn't tell me what was going on or why the exam was being done just kinda wheeled me in all fucked up on morphine and were like "we're gonna stick this inside you now"
i have like... the worst hospital experiences every time i go to one
yeah internal organs suck
not even gonna lie i totally had a meltdown and cried like a bitch in the hallway afterward... no one noticed at least, but i was a mess for days... i thought i could maybe deal cuz my bottom dysphoria isn't too bad, but nope... nothing has ever made it worse than that experience
unrelated: my bro got out of court a little while ago his baby's mom has to stay in jersey, accept his offer of a room for her and my niece, or go to alabama but turn over her custody rights to my bro... which is fucking amazing, and it's cuz of the questions that chick i know had my bro answer
also unrelated: gypsy discovered she can fly up to and perch on my mom's painting in the living room... so she's been bringing food up there to eat and chill (pic related her with a cashew)
I'm sorry to hear about that, anon. My periods were pretty painful as well before I went on T, I would just dab until I couldn't feel anything. I recommend you find a gyno and ask them what to do/ pop skittles and see what happens. There is also birth control that is only progesterone, the mini pill I think it's called? And low dose estrogen one's. Good luck.
Only happens to some people, there's also different types of ovarian cysts... I wouldn't worry about it, anon.
Hey frm gen. So, I finally got a referal to an endocrinologist and had my first appointment yesterday. I need to get bloodwork done this week, then my followup is next week to get my 'script. Only problem is, I haven't outed myself to my family or workplace yet (I just passed my probationary period 3 days ago and didn't want to give them a reason to get rid of me)
any tips on how to breach the topic? I'm not sure if I should tell them this irl or over text, email etc. but its gonna be pretty hard to hide it soon.
Does your state offer protection based on gender identity? I've heard some courts will recognize trans discrimination as sex discrimination, but that's iffy.
Regardless, I would recommend telling your job in writing (probably via e-mail, since anything more formal might make it weirder), that way you have a record of it. You would be much more likely to have some legal recourse if you can prove that you told them on X day and they fired you on X + 1 day.
As for your parents... I don't really have good advice. I totally bombed that one myself. I'm pretty sure I told both of them that I "wanted hormone replacement therapy" and left it at that, without even mentioning the word "transgender." Needless to say, they were confused.
idk, i came out in person at work, to the HR director, and then separately to my boss. it kind of depends on the work environment i guess but for me it was a small company and would have been SUPER awkward to just email them...
also you might have more time than you think. i didn't come out at work until i was 7-8 months on T.
I'm in Canada, BC more specifically. I know that they can't discriminate over my "gender" but I'm not sure if that extends to being transgender, if you know what I mean. I will have it in writing somewhere though, thats smart. I'm just at a total loss about my parents. They're divorced so I'll have to tell them separately, I just can't find the right combination of timing and words.
I suppose thats a good point, I know nothing super duper obvious is gonna happen in a couple weeks time but I know either way, its gonna have to happen soonish. Suppose I can keep going in butch lesbian mode until they connect the dots
... they're widely considered some of the best fantasy authors in recent memory. Rothfuss is kept so busy doing speaking tours to crowds of tens of thousands of people he doesn't have time to write - Pratchett was knighted by the queen for services to fiction. They are both widely acclaimed authors who have sold millions of books. What is your basis for any of this? You just sound like a retard.
i'd have to read it to judge... never heard of rothfuss and with pratchett well...when i worked in a bookstore cafe as a barista i used to walk past the fantasy books while i was visiting my s/o to talk to him and the guys who worked that section... cuz there was this one guy who'd give us takashi miike movies and we'd talk about them and like deformities and shit... but anyway... i'd walk past the fantasy aisle and i'd look at his books and think "he's written too many they can't be any good" so i never read them
so... would you say twilight is a masterpiece cuz a lot of people like it?
Well, the books aren't about 'forbidden sex', which is generally what sells a lot of copies when the writing is awful. Also, the fans tend to be lit critics and shit, not 13 year old girls. Also i've read a lot in a lot of different genres and areas, and i'm pretty sure I can tell good writing from bad writing. Twilight is unreadable trash for anyone who likes books. Harry Potter is okay, but not as good as many people who have read nothing else will assert. Gibson's stylistic writing, rothfuss' setting-building and characters, pratchett's serious absurdity, stross' understanding of the future, these are all defining writers in those areas. They're the best at their thing and damn good in other areas too. This guy is coming off kinda creepy ('save' me from my own reading preferences? the fuck?) and has nothing except assertions. If you google these writers, you'll see a lot of other writers saying they are great, literary critics, etc. Meanwhile the people saying Twilight is great are the tumblrs of 13 year old girls and other 'young adult fiction' writers.
Genre literature is shit in general, this is coming from lit.
"Saving you" is a joke you dense motherfucker, it's recommending that you don't waste time on bad books. I'm not "saving" anyone from anything.
There are no struggles in any of rothfuss' work, just kvothe being the most retard mary sue of all time. Of course, it's all wrapped in fun prose.
Pratchett is just so god damn overrated, but maybe that's years of /lit/ speaking
If I look at myself in the mirror and HATE seeing my flabby meaty useless and strenghtless tighs along with my stupid fat ass does this mean I'm trans or could it also be a product of having been cat called earlier today and hating that I didn't do anything but ignore because it felt like anything I could try would be useless against horny teenagers treating me like a sex object?
Actual question. I tried not to think much of it untill now but now it's just eating me up inside.
That's not at all a stupid question.
While I always felt dysphoria about my chest, I hate my hips the most (probably because I have a small chest and wide hips). It's normal for cis women to dislike their wide hips, so it was difficult for me to tell if my issues were about gender or poor body image.
Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself:
- What is more important: for your legs to be thinner, or for them to be more masculine?
- Do you feel insecure about other parts of your body, even if they aren't considered "ugly" or "too fat"?
- Do you hate your place in society, or your actual sex characteristics?
They can be difficult questions to answer, but they might help. Good luck either way.
I'm not fat to begin with (pic related if it helps, guitar for scale), may actually be considered skinny in comparison to most girls, but I'm still curvier than every guy.
Shit I should be in bed right now, but this whole trans stuff has been going on in my mind lately. Part of the reason I pay so much attention to it is because I have always been a tomboy growing up.
One time as a ten year old I was wearing hand-me-downs from my brother and my mom and cousin joked and laughed at how much I looked like a boy but the thing is that I actually really liked it. But then, maybe it's because I have always admired my brother, so looking like a boy was maybe a way of getting closer to being like him.
Then there's stuff like looking at my hips in the mirror and feel like they're strangely wide. No that it makes me look fat, sometimes I just don't like them.
And sometimes I can't help but think how angry/jealous I am of 15y.o boys who can easily look taller and stronger than me; impose respect and be heard with their deep voices.
But then, I'm reminded I went through some very rough patches at 12 years old when boys suddenly started to grow and I began feeling inferior. I was also bullied and saw my classmates be groped by said guys and felt helpless in not being able to help them as I was too week and tiny in comparison.
Man what a god damn fucking memory trip, kid me did not deserve going through that. It didn't help my dad wasn't really there and the only good male role model I had for a long time was my brother. Every other guy seemed like a villain and I didn't trust them.
And what felt worse was knowing I wasn't even fit for the role of hero, being such a weakling.
I don't know, sorry for rambling. I guess I've been irreversibly damaged and my views on men will be forever twisted no matter how forgiving I'll always try to be.
Point is, maybe it has to do with that, or not. I'll look into those questions you set up.
You got me stuff to think about.
So I'm a bi cisguy, but the person I'm talking to at the moment is ftm, just he isn't sure about transitioning due to the fear of being left alone, and he even said that one reason is he is afraid I won't like him anymore. I want him to feel comfortable around me, and I know that will take time, but do any of you have any recommendations for how I can help him be more comfortable about coming out? I don't want to seem like I'm pressuring him, but I want to be there to support him. Feels bad.
>Every other guy seemed like a villain and I didn't trust them.
>I've been irreversibly damaged and my views on men will be forever twisted no matter how forgiving I'll always try to be.
When you see enough sexual assault, it's kinda hard to trust cis dudes. My distrust also hindered coming out for quite some time.
Anyway, you could also try experimenting with gender presentation. See if you like looking more masculine, or even if you prefer being called a masculine name.
How well do you know him?
For starters, if you haven't already, make it clear to him that his assigned sex doesn't matter to you, and that you like him either way.
Coming out can take a toll on one's confidence at first. Personally, I had to give up being a cute girl for manlet-hood, and sometimes I still feel like a complete loser. Be prepared for him to want a lot of reassurance. However, if he does move forward with the transition, his self-esteem will probably improve pretty quickly.
i'm actually kind of happy with the front part of my thighs (which are muscular af) but i hate the back and inside which are where my body stores the fat and makes my thighs look decidedly feminine. that hasnt changed even though ive lost like 50 lbs, but im happy the front of my thighs look more defined. and my jeans are pretty good at keeping it all LOOKING tight.
>tfw you always play up your glorious meaty thighs ;) ;) ;)
>want to die remembering the wobbly girly fatty inside part
I'm not a good people tho
wha dat mouth do ;)
I don't want fucking titty skittles, man
Even if it's low estrogen or low progesterone or whatever
Can I still take tribulus terrestris with the pill? Whaddaya think ftmg? I'm not gonna ask my doctor this question, y'know.
>hey doc hypothetically speaking could one take tribulus terrestris and the pill at the same time? Like it's not like I'm asking a very specific question for myself haha nooo not at all
If they found out I'm selfmedding, I'd be locked up in a mental institution again
you know, none of that really means anything, taste is still subjective... critics liking something doesn't mean i won't think it sucks, and a lot of other people liking it doesn't mean much either... i don't base my opinions on books on critics' opinions or how many fans someone has, what those people like makes all the difference
and the "saving" thing wasn't really creepy... i think you're taking that wrong
i'd read a page of either one's writing to see if i'd read an entire book, but i really don't see me liking pratchett i've never heard of the author so i can't say anything either way...
lol unfortunately not a relief... the court stuff went in my bro's favour, but this chick left for alabama last night and told him he could have the baby tonight if he signed something saying he was giving her custody and getting it notarized with her (and some other weird shit about recording it) or she was going to drop the kid off with her family until friday to again try to force him to sign the same petition to allow her to leave the state and shit with the baby and all her custody rights intact (so sign a paper saying the thing he just took her to court for is now suddenly ok) and idk what her plan is from there cuz he's obviously not gonna sign that...
but basically, now he has to get in touch with the lawyer, probably go to jersey to get the court shit dealt with (this is all jersey court cuz that's where the mom lives), and then probably pick my niece up from her family... and hopefully it won't be some crazy shit where the cops get involved and whatnot...
"have the baby tonight" as in last night... my bad, i'm tired... woke up feeling sick as shit really early to get all my s/o's work stuff together, make him breakfast and coffee etc... so my brain is just... not functioning at all
On dating terms
And I have told him that I'd like him regardless of his assigned sex. Most of the time he presents as a female, but the one time he showed me him presenting as a guy, I told him that he was hot, and I really enjoyed the time together. He still thinks that subconsciously I'd want to leave him or something like that. That's understandable to think that, but I'm pretty damn sure I wouldn't. So I'm just trying to find a way to reassure him of that.
different things are reassuring for different people, the most you can do is be honest with him and just be there... if that's not good enough for him he might just be too insecure and not ready... just be there and be patient really, and well... i'd tell you to try to be understanding, but you're already doing there...
there's not much else unless he wants like a blood pact or some shit
It's not a regulated substance so I don't think they will think you are self medding, you can just tell them you bought this shit at Wallgreens because you wanted better circulation... they sell it there.
Just tell them you thought it was a good addition to your daily multivitamin.
Please anon, be sure to talk to your doctor person about this supplement, though.
I googled it for you. I think there is a drug interaction between birth control and trib. Also
"The research indicated that the popular belief that tribulus increases levels of testosterone in the blood is not true." AND " Tribulus can lead to the growth of breasts in both men and women. There is some evidence this can increase the risk of breast cancer." So I would recommend to stop taking it and just wait until you can get on T.
Holy shit, you guys.
>out with coworker running some errands
>decide to grab a quick bite to eat
>literally not even remotely trying to pass as male
>one of the employee's calls me sir
>first time I've ever been sir'd in my life
>coworker just looks at her awkwardly then to me
>I'm completely thrown off and start stuttering because I don't know how to handle the situation
>feel completely elated afterward while coworker thinks it's hilarious
Feels fucking good, man.
Funny thing is she's the only coworker I'm not out to yet.
I know and hate those thigh feels. My fatty upper thighs are the bane of my existence. And yes, I'm losing weight and exercising a ton. I guess I'll just have to wait and pray that T eventually changes my patterns of fat distribution, but I'm impatient.
>and pray that T eventually changes my patterns of fat distribution
It will for sure. Plus it's so much easier and funner to gain body muscle it's ridic I've been on t like a year now and I have giant biceps and thighs from my job which is basically light labor. I've only just started to exercise in my spare time cause I wanna get ripped.
The only thing is if you're trying to loose weight, t might make it a little harder because you'll get pretty intense food cravings but it's not that bad.
Because I'm pre everything and haven't done Jack shit to transition as of yet. I've been telling everyone individually. I've avoided telling her because she's awful for gossiping and I don't want the whole city to know yet.
Yeah, I've only been on T for a month and I've gained a lot of muscle. Plus, I actually find myself wanting to exercise and enjoying it, something that never happened pre-T.
How do you figure that? I see a lot of different writing/typing styles in this thread. If you're not just trolling, I'm actually curious what you think makes someone "type like a girl" (aside from things like excessive use of emoticons/emojis and shit that's generally avoided and frowned upon on imageboards).
Well for one, girls usually use punctuation and capitalization. It's not masculine to set the bar for your online communication higher than Xvid comments.
Tbh Just don't fucking type like it's ummmmmblr and you'll be golden.
Lol that sounds like the plot of a bad sci-fi/paranormal book. Man gets dick transplant from a dead guy and then it acts all crazy because the ghost of the dead guy is controlling the dick from the grave.
Because if someone's coming out, you don't fucking tell anyone. Basic LGBT etiquette, you keep their secret until they're cool with it being entirely out in the open. You do this also with any confidence someone brings you. This is basic human etiquette.
I dunno if i'd be okay with it, but I think a lot of guys would be comforted by the thought that while they might be dead, their peen is out fucking people nonetheless.
Heh, you're from /lit/, this explains a lot. Note that being an elitist faggot doesn't actually make you a good judge of writing quality, and attempting to lord over others because you like 'the classics' just confirms your absolutely zero sense of self-worth. Go back to worshiping american history fiction and hating anything original or interesting - barging into unrelated threads on unrelated boards to spread your cancer is completely unnecessary.
>state that rothfuss writes boring books because nothing interesting happens that the protag doesn't literally magically solve because he's DA BESS
This is retarded and unrelated to the thread, take the closing comment if you want it but no more posting on this shit.
[spoiler]I will give rothfuss that his females aren't all spineless bitches existing only to further the male characters' interests though.[/spoiler]
I actually have a non-troll answer for this. Women tend to use more "undefined" words such as "kind of," "a little," "sorta," etc. They also avoid statements that sound definitive. On the whole, the "feminine" writing style is less authoritative.
Ex: "I think you're being sort of rude." (feminine)
"You're being rude." (masculine)
>It's not masculine to set the bar for your online communication higher than Xvid comments.
>Tbh Just don't fucking type like it's ummmmmblr and you'll be golden.
clearly u have never been to tumblr because almost everyone there types exactly like this and keymashing was a legitimate trend on there when I had one a few years back
That's widely considered tumblr lingo, friendo.
That's true, but this board is a special case. When talking about sexuality and gender, very few statements are definitive facts.
Anyway, what I said is just some sweeping generalizations. Obviously everyone is different, and the context can change their typing style a lot.
i honestly don't care that much, i was just saying people can get weird here over statements that aren't preceded by "i think"
i honestly don't pay attention and haven't noticed any difference between either gender, that's probably due to not caring enough to look though
you might be right, fuck if i know
Used widely on reddit. May have originated there. Accusing people of using 'tumblr words' (nooooo omg evil by association) while using a reddit term is irony in the highest measure.
Your simplifications of content analysis make me cringe. You can definitely conclude things about people here from their text, but I very much doubt with that level of understanding you are able to conclude anything even slightly of value.
If anything, many people here type in an overly masculine fashion compared to the rest of the board. And yes, you should be comparing it to the rest of the board - that's the context. Analysing things in a vacuum is just as bad as using simplistic analysis - and you're doing both.
Different person (not a /lit/fag) here - it's not an uncommon opinion to consider Rothfuss a hack and Kvothe an awful Gary Stu. Just because it's popular genre fiction doesn't mean it's good. I don't know Pratchett well at all, but I'll admit that I'm wary of any writer who pumps (or pumped--RIP, too soon, etc.) out "two books a year on average."
I always felt that if I didn't write like that, I'd come off as a huge bitch. I probably would have, at least to some people. I really hate that I learned to talk and write that way and I'm trying to unlearn it. For so many years, I couched my words in feminine timidity and deference. It took me starting T to even have the gall to talk to my own mother like I had a spine. Now I want to yell at women who bawww about being ignored or talked over or coming off as ineffectual when they express themselves so fucking ineffectually, but that anger really should be directed toward myself for continuing to fall back on some of those communicative tics. Especially when I'm nervous or put on the spot, I go back to peppering my speech with "I think"s and "kind of"s and following every statement with an "I don't know."
Sorry pals, I'm pretty high and really lonely and I'm rambling.
>I actually have a non-troll answer for this. Women tend to use more "undefined" words such as "kind of," "a little," "sorta," etc. They also avoid statements that sound definitive. On the whole, the "feminine" writing style is less authoritative.
Everyone out in southern California talks like that, guy or girl
>Accusing people of using 'tumblr words' (nooooo omg evil by association) while using a reddit term is irony in the highest measure.
Not really, since I admitted to having a tumblr before. And I'm no Internet linguist, but I would consider "friendo" in the same group of slang as "dramu" and "waifu" - English words written like they're in a Japanese accent, which I've seen all over the place. That said, I never use Reddit, so I could be wrong there.
Anyway, I'm not sure if you think I'm a different Anon or what, because half of your post seems like it's not directly related to what I said. The one you replied to was my first in this conversation.
I never said - nor did I even imply - that I think the people here type like women, or that I would judge someone for doing so.
>I always felt that if I didn't write like that, I'd come off as a huge bitch.
That's actually quite common. Society grooms AFAB people to communicate in the most spineless way possible.
Fun fact: I've always written in a rather terse and definitive manner, and when I was presenting as female, it made people uncomfortable. They always thought I was angry or unenthusiastic.
krem from dragon age inquisition
youtube video of the main character asking him about it if you don't intend to play the game: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mpRLIO_5fg
worth noting that you don't get to this conversation until about 2/3rds into the game. mostly he just talks about being a mercenary and drinking.
he's the only one that exists at all unless you count naoto shirogane from persona 4, the character you have to save from transitioning ('the surgery') or she dies of suicide because she'll never be a real man. If you get 100% with her she shows up in a girl uniform at the end of the game.
games-wise that's it. there are many cross-dressing females out there but you really have to stretch the imagination to count them as ftm. apparently some big villain from Destiny is vaguely implied to be ftm, and I've heard there's an allusion to an ftm buried in lore in an elder scrolls game somewhere.
manga/comics there are a bit more. most of them suck. wandering son is probably the best, but the main ftm from wandering son turns into a female model at the end of the series. there's an ftm in american virgin that doesn't get shit on, but the series has a weird end.
I used to make a mental note whenever I saw an ftm-ish character pop up in media, but now I don't really think about it. Krem was a nice surprise.
>he's the only one that exists at all unless you count naoto shirogane from persona 4, the character you have to save from transitioning ('the surgery') or she dies of suicide because she'll never be a real man. If you get 100% with her she shows up in a girl uniform at the end of the game.
that's how japan rolls. atlus is one of the few companies out there that will touch characters that are trans according to modern sensibilities, and they tend to have a fucked-up way of looking at them. the game catherine has some mtf examples of that, though she gets off easier than naoto.
pic is naoto, by the way. boymode.
Yeah, they do that a lot with queer characters too. They'll throw in all these hints that a character is attracted to someone of the same gender, and then they'll just brush it off and put them in a het romance. I completely dropped Ouran High School Host club for this when I was like 13.
Honestly, I prefer the Western philosophy of pretending queer people don't exist.
we were just talking about this anime in the last ftmgen but some people read utena from shoujo kakumei utena as ftm.
the only ftm characters i know about in western media are some dude from orphan black (idk i haven't seen it) and... uh... that's it really. idk it's a pretty sad list
I actually do too. Sorry for internet tmi, but I attempted suicide after seeing Boys Don't Cry when I was pretty young without knowing what it was about or having heard of the brandon teena story.
ever since then I get anxious when trans/genderbent characters show up in stuff.
That's why Krem's characterization took me aback. They don't spell it out until you've already gotten to know him as a person. Nothing bad happens to him either, unless you make it happen, and when it does it's not because of gender stuff.
the closest thing to an FTM character i can think of is Oscar from Rose of Versailles. always meant to read more of that manga but the beginning is soooooo boooriinnnggg its just aristocrat drama
did get this great reaction image from it tho. mfw trying to follow all that shit
thats just how misogyny feels
>flabby meaty useless and strenghtless thighs
im sure your thighs are plenty useful, anon. people just dont really cherish them cause "strength" to most people is upper body stuff, even though thats way less useful than thigh, butt, and back strength.
Read a long time ago, it's decent. It's a gay webcomic, I found it in the /wcg/ pastebin. The asian farmer guy's brother is trans, I think he's like 15. He's the third most important character, the comic touches on his school and home life a lot, friends at school and intertwined involvement with the main characters. The main plot beside gay romance and relationship trials is that the main character can talk to cats. Beside that, it's slice of life.
Avialae (another webcomic) is about a gay bird twink guy who suddenly grows wings. It's meant to symbolize the trans experience. http://avialaecomic.com/ 9/10
Haven't read this but heard of it : http://www.wolfmencomic.com/
ftmgen I have no one else to talk to about this but I just wanted to ramble to someone about how great it is to have sex with men as a man. nothing can really describe how awesome gay sex is. the sameness of your bodies when you look down between you, kissing someone with a beard when you have one too, their strong legs winding with yours, wrestling each other and actually being able to put up a fight, the hair on your stomachs rubbing together... etc.
I was just thinking about this because I was reading some slash fanfic for the first time in a really long time and it just doesn't do it for me anymore. I used to be really into it but now it pales in comparison to the real thing and doesn't come close to capturing all the little stuff about what makes it enjoyable. I feel bad for all the yaoi fangirls who will never get to experience this t b h.
tl;dr: I'm a huge faggot
I want this and I'm straight
What is happening!!
I just need sex
This is a weird question, but have any of you been "hosted" by someone while you transitioned? I'm interested in that.... I get muh autismbux and whatnot, and I want to cut a lot of people out of my life and get to a trans-friendly environment, but I don't know where to go to ask for such a thing, as the only place I know of is CL and fuck that noise.
I pay like 650$ a month for my apartment, and I can only afford rent and utilities, so I'm assuming paying rent to a person would be a lot less.... And I guess I wouldn't mind taking it up the butt and sucking dick to be able to live how I want to.
I liked Krem's concept more than I like the actual execution. But I really disliked Weeke's writing for the whole game, so that could be it too.
Wasn't there meant to be a FTM character in the new Assassin's Creed game?
>used to have a tumblr
Explains why you're so triggered.
An hero immediately.
So FTMg, here's my predicament:
>ready to transition
>hate my body, cry when I feel my womanly nipples, want to exterminate the entire eastern seaboard when I have to do the pussy-peeing
>The only problem is every "post-transition" man pics I see that AREN'T hideous look like pic related
>Hipster fags with round, feminine faces.
Every. Single. FTM post-transition can be divided into 4 categories:
Balding fat fuck with round lesbian face like a Chas Bono, overcompensating Pauly-D look alikes, Hipster fags encompassing the worst facial features of male and female aware they still don't pass with gauges and tribal tattoos, fat SJW trender clearly regretting decision.
Why even transition if I'm just gonna have a round female face and a terrible, unpassing body? Plus, I feel like my peers are all going to fall in the groups above so my peer pool will be shit. Does anyone have pics of dudes who actually look good? I'm not convinced that these dudes wouldn't pass better if they dressed better.
>inb4 called an asshole
Wow he doesn't even pass in some of the pictures, they couldn't have made him attractive like everyone else in the game.
Your going to be fine usually the ftms with fat faces haven't been on t for very long or are just fat in general. I had a fat baby face before starting t and now that I've been on it for 2 years some of the fat left and it looks chiseled. If you're worried about your body just exercise. Don't stress yourself out that you're going to turn into Chaz Bono once you get your first t shot, just go work out or do something productive because that doesn't really happen unless you're fat and ugly and you can choose not to be fat so problem solved.
I feel that way sometimes and I am a heterosexual FTM. I think I just want to look like me but male. I fear turning into someone completely unrecognizable. Just get your hair and fashion the way you want it and you'll be good.
I would also like to know about this. I need a change of scenery desperately.
>thats just how misogyny feels
I'm pretty cute.
It took me way too fucking long to realize why I was being accused of being a pedo
I feel like... 'hosting' or whatever would turn super creepy most times. Why not just move into a share house with some trans friendly people in a trans/gay friendly area? If you're not awful, that'll lead into getting laid far more naturally, with less chance of getting put into a bad situation where you're living with someone you really don't want to be living with.
But these people are trying to tell you that the normal looking guys are the ones who don't post their photos on the internet. They're the guys who are stealth and post-transition and have divorced themselves from the trans community. So you're not going to find very many of them online. But you can look around on reddit for the guys who are 2+ years on T:
Also if you're part of any non-public, serious facebook groups there are lots of normal guys there. I'm in a couple of groups for phalloplasty info and obviously the dudes in those kinds of groups tend to be the ones who are really deep into transition.
The photos you'll find searching randomly are the ones of people from support groups most people don't go to after they've actually started transitioning, or fetish photos for people who want the ftm to look poorly passing, or attention whores on tumblr who are barely trying or attempting a 'genderqueer' look.
>>5622838 and the ones i've wanted to fuck the living shit out of i've either met in person or seen via posted photos (some in this thread) in places that are not well known or easily searchable.
Honestly if you're really trans you shouldn't care this much about how aesthetic you look, turning out as an attractive man should be a pleasant suprise but not the reason you transition.
Anyway the most attractive ftm I saw on the internet had a tumblr but then deleted it I guess. It was like findingoliver.tumblr.com if anyone else remembers. I don't blame him I don't have any social media either because fuck that shit it's never worth it.
Just how much of a bad idea is it to dye hair as pre-t? Dying my hair helps my stress and dysphoria sometimes, kind of an anxiety pacifier, and I really want to bleach my hair completely white, but that'd ruin any chances I have at passing.
it depends what you look like now.
if you're 5'0 tall, with no jaw, no brow bone and a high bmi, you'll probably end up like your pic rel.
This guy passes, but he was thin with a good jaw pre-t
At 19, probably not, your bone structure is set at that point, T just helps with some of the fat removal around your face which might make it more defined
Here's a pre-t picture, if you don't look like this currently, you'll probably end up like most ftms; chase ross faced
Oh no, I'm not the first guy. I'm turning 22 now and my best hopes of starting T are somewhere next winter.
But the bottom line is I'm just going to be ugly forever?
Man those were not the news I would've liked at this point in life.
Drunk as a duck and fuck-ugly.
Do I have any hope at all?
If it helps at all, it's far easier to make it in the world as a ugly to average looking guy than as an ugly to average looking woman. Obviously you still have to make an effort and develop your personality, but that should (from my experience at least) get easier on t as confidence and passability increases.
>doing that weird eyebrow crinkle and half frown lots of ftms do to make their face look more masculine in photos
Your man here clearly has a pretty average face, it's testosterone doing most of the hard work.
My dad was smooth as a baby's bottom from the neck down and i'm exploring new jungles of my hair in my own arsecrack. You can never truly say exactly how it'll turn out-the results will get more as the years go on, too-just pray to the T gods and hope for the best. Long enough on it though and practically anyone can pass.
You're lucky you have slav face
Your brow bone and cheekbones are masc, your jaw is kinda weak but not necessarily female looking, but i don't see any reason your face wouldn't pass on t.
the only thing is your thin neck and small looking body
>small looking body
It goes straight to some fucking murphy's law Jessica Rabbit bullshit right below the collarbone. I don't know who's in charge of genetics but for some reason they seem to enjoy giving ftm massive tits.
I don't know. Might just be personal preferences but that exact fucking face is literally perfect. Straight-up 9/10 even for a cis guy, and if I remember right that was like 6 months on t.
for the love of fuck, you guys...
is an insecure asshole and you should not listen to them. "unless you look like a hot man now you won't look like a hot man on T hurrdurr"
how much bleach did you drink as a kid, seriously?
you won't end up "chase ross faced," you'll end up looking like yourself with less baby fat, rougher skin, and more defined facial features. chase ross looks like that because he's overweight and because he was just born with an extremely round face. i wouldn't be surprised if everyone else in his family has moonfaces too.
these are instructions for becoming a hot guy:
1. go on T, wait at least 18 months
2. work out, eat clean, don't get fat
3. don't dress like a douchebag or a lesbian
4. grow a beard if you can
you'll do fine, seriously. for fuck's sake people.
It depends. It gets "fixed" somewhat after a while. But if you're completely strapped of chin and jaw right now, then adjust your expectations: You're never gonna be like Gaston.
Your head's bone structure is not as set at that point as the rest of your bones.
Get more fit. Dress well. Be a good guy. You'll be fucking surprised at what people accept as a good looking face for a dude in that circumstance. [spoiler]Main reason being you're harsher on yourself than you would be if you weren't ftm[/sproing]
Not the person you replied to but very very few people look like bearded circus ladies after 2-3 years on T. If the drunk as a duck pic you posted is really you, you will be fine after some time on T. Stop stressin' m8.
Oh no. That guy wasn't me. This is me. It seems I am not alone in this fear, though. Which makes me feel less vain.
Also, by the time the beard comes in chances are you'll be well versed enough in male mannerisms etc that a little fresh-facedness won't do you much harm. Dunno about everyone else but for me half the change is/was about my outward presentation
Dafuq? What are you worried about mate? Your face is way more masculine than mine was pre-T, and I'm a pretty hot guy now if I do say so myself. Everyone worries about looking feminine forever but honestly it's just your dysphoria talking. You'll be very masculine and good-looking after a year or two, trust me.
you remind me of this guy for some reason, you should shave your head
8/10, would confuse for male, get boner, realize, have awkward boner
on T and muscles you're going to be a lantern-jawed nazi-thumping strongman, on T and no muscles you're solid twink territory, in like flynn
>This doesn't answer your question precisely
It didn't really, but thank you.
So basically the conlcusion is that FTM can still sing, though whether they SHOULD is somewhat ambiguous.
I'm still gonna, tho. I had some training to sing opera as a female, I want to re-learn to sing it in male range.
I don't know if this count since his stand can remodel things, but Narciso Anasui from JJBA is pretty cool.
He turns male without any explanations or allusion to his female first appearance. Bravo Araki.
Plus there's this other character in the beginning of part VI during the medical checkup that is said to be taking hormones, to which Jolyne says "This is the dawn of a new age".
>tfw not knowing if heterosexual FTM or stone butch lesbian.
Ya know, I'm not crazy about my junk, but that doesn't mean my self esteem is so low I'd settle for someone like you.
There seems to be a weird segment of cis gay guys who think that ftms will debase ourselves for a little bit of attention. But you're wrong, because while I may hate myself, I still respect myself.
>tfw taking obvious bait
>have had ID rejected a few times
>everyone surprised im older than i look
>dye hair brown
>"shit anon, you don't look like a little boy anymore."
>the other day a cashier made a stink about my ID thats only 6 months old because i 'look older than the picture'
Dying my hair darker made an oddly big difference.