READ THE OP
FtMg: Aggresion Edition
Don't forget to sage and wait to make new threads until we're at bump limit on page 9-10.
Ancient map: https://www.zeemaps.com/edit/U0Hw9yNtqrJd-qzTdbUFMw
Some info (excuse the tumblr, it's truscum): http://helpfultransinfo.tumblr.com/tags/
Skype group: add cheeki-briki or duckduckfrog
Google Hangout: TBA
eh you could also say she's too inexperienced to deal with you... regardless you're a bad fit for each other, and hopefully the new therapist works out
at least you know you won't have to be dealing with her soon
hopefully it works out...
i don't think there's any reason to withhold the trans shit, cuz it's clearly affecting you and an issue you're having trouble with + you're here talking a lot so it's important...
it might be helpful if you wrote a list of things you told this therapist that you think are important and that you should've had help with, and then bring that with you to this new therapist... it'd make it easier on you with the switch, and it would help you sort out what you're looking for help with and rank things in your life based on importance... and it'd probably save time to have it all together rather than going through x amount of sessions bouncing around to get to the shit that's important to you...
and idk if it works like this for you, but for me writing shit down is an easier way to collect my thoughts and sort shit out... when i have to just talk with no direction i don't always think to say everything that's important cuz i feel put on the spot
Finding a good therapist is hard. Nearly every source agrees on this. The internet is full of people complaining about therapists not being able to help them.
Saying you're 'too broken' ignores all that evidence. Ergo, don't.
Anyone else feel bitter towards irl gay men? I'm gay myself and pre-t and every gay man I've met irl has been a stereotypical drag queen flamer. When I tell them I like guys they keep misgendering me, it's like they can't accept gay ftms are a thing. Also "you don't seem gay" no matter how "feminime" i act.
Anyone else run into this problem? Though most online gay people I've met have been pretty chill. How the fuck do I find "normal" gay people?
Same thing as when a butch lesbian misgenders MTFs. It's paranoia. The idea that we're posers who intend on invading their lifestyle for malevolent purposes. This person might have felt secretly trans at one point themselves, as is the case with many radfem butches who call themselves "dysphoric females" i.e. FtMs in denial. I'm bi so it's a little easier but I feel really bad for y'all completely trans gay dudes. Do you date other ftms, m8?
Just shaved my face for the first time, feels good man.
I was just diagnosed with schizophrenia, and now I'm worried that my gender disphoria diagnosis is going to be under question. Anyone with similar issues? Does it really create a problem for transitioning, or is that just a rumor?
Actually in the same boat (schizoaffective, bipolar type). Docs wanna analyze everything. Just get on antipsychotics and hope for a progressive doctor. I haven't had a psychotic episode in well over a year and I no longer need meds (they make me sleep all day, and I can't have that for my job). Fear that the schizo will come back full force is the only real thing driving me from transition.
Totally understandable. Your best option is to probably seek out communities of trans inclusive gay men and you probably want to consider dating bi/pan/queer guys instead of 100% gays, depending,of course, on where you are in your transition.
I mean... do you pass? It's going to be hard to get even gay men to accept you as a guy and gender you correctly if you don't pass.
It also probably has something to do with where you live. I'm 110% gay and have not had issues finding cis gay men as friends or as sex partners. The okcupid has been great for me.
I'll hold out hope. My main doc thinks I'm a liar, and he already questions everything I say. He had me call my grandmother to confirm that I was telling the truth about my past. Other than that, they haven't mentioned transitioning yet. Aside from telling me that my antipsychotic could cause my breasts to grow back after top surgery, and I finally convinced him to change it to something else.
nah, a lot of the gay guys i've been in contact with have been really respectful... and a lot of the guys who have asked me out have been gay (too serious about relationships though) in spite of me being pre-everything... they're usually more masculine and tops though, but i get along with really feminine, bitchy gay guys too without an issue they just don't ever want to date me (which is whatever cuz they're not my type at all)
i'm bi though, idk if that changes anything or not...
maybe the issue is how feminine you act? or the ways you act feminine?
For the latter point me too, but I feel bad about it because as far as societal disapproval goes we are in the same boat and unlike me they're stuck in that boat.
For the former point, I wonder what gives?
Nice! I'm impatient as fuck to get to that point. I've only been on T for a month or so now. I haven't noticed any visible changes, except that I just woke up and looked in the mirror and my entire chin is a zit (seriously, biggest one of my life) and I have two more on my forehead. I've always had really clear skin and I keep it clean and shit...is it stress, or is it testosterone? I'd actually be happy about having a pizza face if it meant that the 'mones were starting to do something.
Gay society is pretty fractured. You'll find different 'types' guys will often congregate in different places.
But. also, talking shit is pretty common amongst all the groups. Saying nasty shit to each other is pretty normal for guys, and it makes it combative and manly, which is hot. Only like, 'young republican' gay guys are going to be totally polite all the time or whatever, and I imagine fucking one of those would be like having sex with cardboard.
I mean, ftm guys tick a lot of boxes for me - short, angry(but not thinking that anger = manliness), insecure, a bit jaded.. fits my preferences like a glove, and i'm attracted to people, not cocks, so a lot of ftm guys would have a fair shot. I can imagine that especially amongst pride groups and shit that are full of young, just-came-out dudes there'd be a lot for whom ftm would be entirely off the table, due to cock or trying to be as gay as possible because they've just come out, etc.
Yeah so got diagnosed as intersex a few days back.
I had my blood tests to check my bloods were all within normal levels to be put on testosterone in April, and it came back I had way over normal levels of active T in my blood.
Got called back to see the gender clinics endocrinologist and he said I'm most likely intersex or have some sort of chromosome related issue.
Any idea how/if this will affect my transition?
Because it's hard, even if you know they'll be okay with it it's terrifying.
You'll get there eventually though, don't force yourself to do something you aren't ready for yet. But if you're ready to just get it over with and if it's too hard to do it over the phone, email or letter might work better.
It's kinda like launching an earthquake without knowing what magnitude it will be. It's only natural to be apprehensive, even if you think it will turn out fine down the line.
Best of luck.
The possibility of not being so baby faced, and facial hair is something I'm really crossin my fingers for.
Even when someone clocks me as female I'm asked how middle school is going. Sick of it.
cuz you're a pussy...
really though, that shit's scary, and you never know how someone is gonna react, and you're putting yourself on the line with something deeply personal... and that's not an easy thing
writing it all down might help, like someone else said a letter would probably work out better than over the phone... can't be interrupted, you can look it all over before you give it to them, and you can be sure you've said everything you need/want to + you don't gotta be there while they read it just in case...
Also, a lot of bi guys that I know are super chill. Some people don't really care about gender much, and those seem like a good choice.
I... do ftm get like, straight guys going after you claiming they're bi to get laid with someone they think of as a woman? I just thought of that and it fucking.. wow, makes me angry.
I have once, but he was a real weird guy and thankfully I never followed through with his proposition, and we ended up fighting instead.
I imagine that's how it'd go down in general if a straight guy approached an ftm treating them as though they were a woman. Probably get knocked out for it or at the very least verbally abused.
upper body muscles and facial structure change, for sure. not super excited about being hairy (although a beard might be nice) and i'm a little anxious about my voice changing. i guess just because that's the point of no return, and i'd have to come out officially.
Yeah, in my experience bisexuals with a "whatever" approach to gender are less fuss.
>straight guys going after you
Yes, a few times:
>at a friend's party
>cute guy talks about attraction and how gender doesn't matter
>I pick up kinda off vibes from his spiel
>the more he talks the more I'm thinking he's saying this exactly because he doesn't believe it but wants me to think he does
>well whatever, he's just being nice
>suddenly proposes that we get in the shower together and "touch each other"
>A piece of shit friend outs me to our significantly older mutual acquaintance and weed dealer
>the dealer then begins to hit on me relentlessly
>dealer tries to sound mature and profound
>more "gender doesn't matter" shit
>oh, it doesn't matter AT ALL now that he sees me as female
>I still just want some weed dude
>he starts calling me
>from his burners like I'm some 3rd rate hooker
>he doesn't stop calling until I switch numbers (actually happened for unrelated reasons - I tend to let myself get used to unhealthy situations)
>welp. he sold schwag anyway.
>at some point I ask my piece of shit friend why he would out me
>he did it "to see what would happen :^)"
>what happens is he loses friends
I've had two closer friends try to tell me that I'm their exception, but being in early transition and being someone's "exception" - NO.
Sorta yeah, it was kind of pathetic honestly mostly just pushing and shoving and a few real lousy punches were thrown between the two of us.
and eh, I'd say I probably walked away a little more battered, no real injuries though a few bruises and a scrape or two.
It most likely won't, aside from having a head start T-wise. But without knowing your specific condition it's hard to say. Whether you're ftm or a cis guy with low test, testosterone will effect you the same barring effects on organs you don't have.
>talks about attraction and how gender doesn't matter
Shit, I talk about that sometimes. Not to get into people's pants, though. Just because it's interesting, these built up and learned behaviours mixed with ones actually caused by hormones and whatnot.
I actively avoid fights because I take it too seriously and have had some blackouts where I don't remember anything I did after getting hit in the face.
That's kinda a horrible situation for me, that you're describing, where someone lousy at fighting is coming at me. Terrified i'd really hurt them thinking they were serious.
How hard would it be going through life if I only legally change my name, and not my gender marker? Name changes are pretty easy to obtain, but gender markers are a minefield...
I'm planning on working in academia, so I don't think my trans status will hurt my employment chances much, especially because I live in a fairly progressive place.
it will give you a head start, for sure. i'm sort of in your opposite situation. intersex, assigned male, during puberty discovered womb and developed periods, put on testosterone due to assigned male, partial insensitivity, kept up taking T due to family pressure, 10 years later, judging that amount of T I injected, some legit, some self med, I shoulda become a body builder, became a wide hipped femboy with a half-broken voice, a micropenis and a male receding hairline instead. i hit my mid 20s and snapped, i was a girl, being told i was a guy wasn't enough, i was my own person. transitioned female, had trans friends say i looked like a cis woman within 4 months.
all i'm saying is you'll suprise yourself. expect things to happen really quickly. it won't feel fast, but compared to other people's transitions it could be light speed in comparison. T is crazy anyway. it changed my face and nose shape completely within a year.
I have a job interview tomorrow, and I'm not sure how to handle it, since I haven't had my name or gender changed legally.
I pass only sometimes, so the person who interviews me would probably believe that I'm just a really masculine girl if I don't say anything.
It's at one of those hip consignment stores, so the person interviewing me will probably be some hipster who's not much older than me. I also live in a fairly progressive city. Should I bring up that I prefer to be called a different name, or just avoid the subject entirely?
Did you apply with your preferred name? In the future you probably should, they don't need your legal name unless they say they need to do a background check or need it for tax forms or something.
That's probably the best plan, especially because I'm going to look significantly less female pretty soon. The only problem is that I have no legal recourse if I'm fired for it, because my state's equal opportunity laws don't cover gender identity.
I might do that, since all the jobs I'm applying to right now are entry-level positions that require no background check, and by the time they're doing my tax forms I'll already be hired.
9 personal preferences from bi/straight/gay ftm's? Everyone's different but that's exactly what people want to know. It could be like a tiny ebook, and the last page is like "here, i've given you some responses, now ask whoever the fuck"
My experience dating other transmen has largely been other trans dude using me as emotional/financial support and then bailing when they don't need me anymore.
Experience with cis men has been weird fetishizing or assholes wasting my time.
T b h people are garbage
I've gotten interest from mostly gay guys(i'm taking 4 or 5 on kinsey scales) who don't realize I'm trans, and when I do tell them they go "Oh, it's okay I'm actually pansexual" and go on about how what's in your pants doesn't matter and shit...
bitch i'm still a guy, and you're still gay. I'm not like a third gender.
Well no shit. If it barks like a dude and calls itself a dude it's a dude, how is that not obvious. Also, thanks ftmg. I've been thinking about short angry ftm dudes now, and gotten all hot and bothered by it. Thanks a lot, you assholes.
I have been talking, he is really cute and shy guy. He has only been with one other guy before (also an ftm.) I am trying to be supportive and make sure we can have fun together.
We have only been talking for under a month, and we have talked a lot about what we want to do with another.
So anyways, couple things. He has never taken a cis penis before and he wants me to rim him. Any tips? I know that I should pack lube just in case he has trouble getting wet or we have anal sex.
But as far as rimming, how can I ensure that it is safe and clean for both of us?
i've never had a gay guy talk to me like that... i've been told me being trans doesn't matter, but i've never been treated like it was a big deal, or i was something else, or it was even something to have a real conversation about etc
though i'll be honest the third gender mentality doesn't bother me anyway, i get why people think like that and it's better than being thought of as a cis chick (which feels like a lie + awkward) + being trans isn't exactly the same as being cis... even post everything it's not, so i can't fault people for not seeing it as exactly the same...
never been on the giving end of rimming, so can't tell you what that's like... but as long as he's keeping himself clean it should be fine... cuz i've been on the receiving end and there's never been an issue, but i also keep myself extremely clean all of the time...
By clean, do you mean outside or also on the inside? Not sure how to word it.
He told me that he would shower in front of me so I can rim him, but I am worried that I will stick my tongue in and...well it could be gross.
lol both, but if you're worried don't stick your tongue in... never had anything gross happen personally, but i'm sure there's some horror stories... and desu i don't know if i'd rim someone, i'm just alright with it if someone else wants to do it to me...
I'm definitely not a good fighter. I probably should be seeing as I grew up duking it out with my brothers, but that really only taught me to take a hit and stay on my feet.
But I kinda get what you're saying, if someone eggs me on enough to the point of getting physical I have a hard time stopping, whether I'm winning or losing.
oh man i love rimming. this thread is making me desperate to eat some ass.
honestly as long as he's taken a shower (cleaning outside and a little bit inside) and doesn't need to take a shit it'll be fine.
I totally agree that gender and attraction is an interesting topic. The problem starts when it's used by dudes to put on a smokescreen of being worldly and progressive, their real purpose being to get in my pants... People who give off this vibe where they think I'll be happy that they'd deign to fuck me - nah.
I don't get that much bullshit actually, but what I get stings much less now than it used to. You learn to identify the strain of shit and then let it go.
If you're thinking about my asshole friend, it soon turned out I wasn't the only one he'd fucked for the hell of it. I'm as certain as I can be that he was a sociopath. Again, it stings, but you learn.
bet it is when people just stop and think of us as any other kinda person... or if they actually just stopped and thought for a second at all...
i could give someone a rundown of the shit i like in bed, but that doesn't mean all transguys are gonna be down for bdsm and that should be obvious... or i can say any hole is fine, but that doesn't mean anyone else is gonna feel that way... cuz that's like expecting every guy or chick you fuck to like the same exact thing in bed just cuz the last one did
that should just go without saying shouldn't it?
Most trans people don't like sexual touching in the way cis people do. I think you are an outlier.
I do wish chasers would already know that if he talks to a trans guy, that guy is most likely not interested in the role of submissive little girl.
lol well i'm not into the role of "submissive little girl," but that was my point... someone like me answering shit isn't gonna do any good, but there are transguys like me... just like there's others who feel differently, which is why a quick conversation with the person you're fucking or just responding to their individual cues is all that's necessary when it comes to doing anything with someone trans
same as anyone else...
+ but that's what i meant about how that should go without saying... that all people are varied and a book filled with transguys talking fetishes and what is/isn't ok isn't gonna do shit for someone other than tell them about those particular transguys...
so an actually helpful book would only need to be a sentence long... and well, that's not even short story length...
yeah i'm going to have to agree with this anon. obviously everyone is different but we're not THAT different. i think we can all agree that it's very valuable to know that you're not alone and there are other people who feel similarly about their bodies and their relationship to sex – even if the only similarity is a feeling of confusion or whatever.
it would be nice to have something, ANYTHING for both trans men and their partners to be able to read to help them feel more normal and more comfortable with sex and sexuality. there is really nothing out there and i know that i would have benefitted a lot from a resource that talked with clarity and honesty about the role that sex plays in dysphoria, transition, and trans relationships.
A highly insightful and empathic resource that hit all the right notes might do something like that.
I uh.. more doubt that... the skill to write it would be there, rather than that it's possible for it do good. There's a lot of things like that, mostly for general trans, or specifically aimed at mtf, and they are generally awful. And generate huge amounts of arguing and bitterness.
+ to be fair though i was figuring if they were stories somebody would probably get off to them...
regardless i probably wouldn't bother reading something like that, or get anything insightful out of it if i did...
i just don't think reading is a substitute for just doing shit and figuring it out as you go...
The entire point of advice is so people can avoid having to attempt to figure out things as they go and largely fail at it. If you have had success with that method, that's fine, but most people do not. You're an outlier in that regard.
I don't think necessarily this 'sex guide' is a good idea, or even if it's a good 'idea', will ever be something that's good in practice, but saying that 'figuring it out as you go' is better than any advice or information is just not applicable to most people.
i was just talking about me personally... i don't give a shit what other people wanna spend their time on... that wasn't me giving advice, that was just me stating my opinion...
talking about the way i see shit, and my thoughts on something doesn't mean i'm offering advice or telling anyone they should do the shit i do or need to operate the way i do...
if someone needs something i don't give a shit... i was just saying that the best way to find out about the person you're fucking is to talk to and/or experiment with them... people are always in here asking about what to do when it comes to fucking transguys like there's some blanket advice that works, and there isn't
that's all i was saying initially... and it turned into a bunch of other shit
other people are free to disagree though or have a different opinion, most shit is subjective... so yeah...
well i said "i just think," i thought that was good enough... also at some point i said i wouldn't have gotten anything insightful out of something like that, and said the other anon (you? someone else? fuck if i know) took it to another level... which i figured showed that i was acknowledging their opinion as something valid i haven't thought of...
when i speak i tend to just say generalized shit, i also rarely thinkly deeply on much before i say anything, consider the words i'm gonna say, i'm usually high... and you're likely not used to me, for some people i take getting used to...
you just took me wrong, and too seriously... though to be fair, if that was advice it'd work for some people, i'm not so unique that it only works for me... it just wasn't, i was just talking cuz i'm bored and that was what was being spoken about, don't take me too seriously or literally...
Because they tell butch AFABs that you can only be super masculine if you're attracted to women and dismiss the existence of bi/gay FtMs as snowflakes or anomalies. All in all, they hate trannies and are dually perpetuating trenderism.
No idea. My theory is that people said a bunch of stuff to be edgy, and then complete idiots thought it was all serious and started posting here, and it blended into the noise, and now 4chan is mostly right-wing /pol/acks saying clinically insane things and no-one realized until far too late that they actually meant it.
It also really doesn't help that the right-wing autistic self-hating lgbts are congregating on this board, like the pressure on conservative people has eased enough that they can admit they are gay, but yet still be shrilly anti-gay/trans/anything non-hetero, monogamous, married and economically republican. Drawn by the polacks or something, I don't know.
If you believe this, you're genuinely blind. Stuff people used to say as an extreme joke is now said entirely seriously. Discussion is almost completely absent - now you have oldfags arguing with literal insanity in threads with premises like 'trans people are just psychotic' and 'us gays spread aids and molest children, and should have to wear gps tags at all times' and 'how much are you looking forward to trump as president? He'll be so good for lgbt!' and so forth. And it's not trolling, it's all serious. People saying that in the past - even a year ago - would have been obviously trolling - in fact, the trolls were much more skilled than creating things like that.
Yeah, a lot of the things people do to get laid really annoy me. If that's your major goal in life, then your life is pretty much a barren husk. Sex is good, sure, but if your self-esteem relies on tricking people into having it with you, you're probably a broken individual.
>but if your self-esteem relies on tricking people into having it with you, you're probably a broken individual.
>trannies saying this but not disclosing when they date people
oh the irony
Thanks for the advice guys! I think Any tips on how to rim? I am confident the booty will be clean and ready to be rimmed.
He just asked if I wanted to be rimmed. I am a bit hairy and i have never been rimmed, so I nervous to let him try.
Regarding the short angry ftm thing. My last ftm partner was short, under 5'5 and he always wanted to playfully wrestle me, like a kid brother or something. It was cute. I am just under 6ft. :P
Honestly, if any place doesn't bring down the hammer on the worst of the bullshit, eventually the non-masochistic veterans start leaving and you're left with a self-perpetuating scumhive propelling itself into ever more ridiculous depths. Containment boards don't cut it.
It really is becoming less palatable which is sad because the format is otherwise good.
Also, after playing around with a few ftms, I kind of developed a fantasy where I am in the center of an ftm blowbang. Just sucking all of their trans cocks. First time I ever had a fantasy like that..
nice, i wrote a response that didn't go through... trying that again...
i was half joking... some things are definitely shittier, and others aren't really all that different... and i do think people tend to think shit that sucked at any given moment sucks less in retrospect while the new shit that sucks becomes more of a priority...
like it never occurred to me that i'd have someone jump down my throat here for saying dysphoria was necessary for someone to be trans... that was pretty damn surprising and way different than the old "cut your hair and be a real man" and all the "you're too effeminate" comments i used to get that were followed by the reasonable "oh wait... dysphoria yeah that sucks" kinda shit that was more the mentality when the threads first started... and like having someone tell me i thought i was superior or some shit for having it and being bitched out for being "truscum" lol that was pretty fucking weird... i guess anyone who ever argued with me in the past about how that mentality wasn't just a passing tumblr phase that would die off and not leak everywhere was right... my bad (if you're here i guess you can say "i told you so")
and the trump shit is just cuz of the election it'll die off... though when he was first running i said i wished i could see him with sarah palin, cuz i thought it'd be funny as hell... and i got to live that dream, and i was right so... something good has come out of him running
different people like different things so try for variety and see what gets the best reaction. i dated one guy who liked it when i shoved my tongue as deep in his hole as physically possible. i've been with others who preferred light teasing instead. so try to switch it up a bit... move your tongue in and out, just the tip or the whole thing; lick around his hole; flick his hole with your tongue; tease it, blow air on it, kiss it, etc.
personally i always like to mix in some fingering with the rimming. nothing too extreme, but teasing with a finger + a tongue feels way better than teasing with only one of them.
i'm a total top and i do not like getting fucked at all but even i like the feeling of getting rimmed. it feels damn good and can be very relaxing.
relaxation is really they key to any and all butt stuff. you are way way way more likely to enjoy yourself if you sit back, stop worrying, and relax. :)
>trannies saying this but not disclosing when they date people
Unless they're planning to fuck someone soon into the relationship why should they disclose?
Disclosing in the first few dates is dumb
it doesn't cuz it wouldn't, something that feels good is just something that feels good, and it's only normal to enjoy it...
the chris benoit shit was crazy... wasn't there something about him being in the house with them after they were dead for a bit or some shit? like the whole thing lasted a weekend?
it's really not at all dumb... it lets you know right away that you aren't gonna be rejected after investing time into this person,why would you wanna date someone who you don't know from the beginning is gonna be accepting about something like that? and it gives people a chance to not feel like you're dumping shit on them, being dishonest, or tricking them somehow cuz they know what they're getting into...
so that shit + just in case you end up having sex on the first date or messing around at all...
Guys, I don't know what to do. I've been on T for just a few weeks now, and I'm desperate to try to lose some of this disgusting body fat (I'm not overweight - 5'4" and 100 lbs. - but I can't stand my "curves") and build muscle. I just moved into an apartment complex that has a private exercise room. I've never had a gym membership or anything before, and I'm extremely anxious about the idea of exercising in front of other people. I had some pretty traumatizing PE experiences in school that left a bad taste in my mouth. Also, I'm so self-conscious about my body right now that I can't bring myself to wear anything more revealing than an oversized hoodie and sweatpants, and that shit gets hot if you actually work up a sweat.
They offer a free initial session with a personal trainer, and I really want to take advantage of that, but I have no idea if they're trans-friendly or exercise-noob-friendly or anything. I know I'm overthinking this and that I need to just bite the bullet and try going in there, but it's making me so fucking anxious...I'm weak as fuck right now, and it's going to be really embarrassing to start out being able to lift like 10 pounds. And what if the personal trainer asks me to take off my hoodie? What if they ask me what my fitness goals are? Do I tell them I'm trans and on T or just act like a butch lesbian (what I look like right now)? I'm a shut-in autist and I have no scripts for these situations...
I also don't know whether I should be eating to lose weight right now or not. I'm hungry all the fucking time, but I want to cut down on my body fat %, but I also want to build muscle...I probably should start lurking /fit/, eh?
Anon Chris Benoit wasn't just crazy from the roids he had suffered severe head injuries over the years and his best friend Eddie Guerrero had just died recently causing him to snap.
RIP Eddie ;_;7
This is a book that teaches you how to exercise without any equipment, just using your body and the wall. Is very beginner friendly and has multiple steps you can work your way up if you're weak.
But yes, all personal trainers are noob-friendly and are used to dealing with nervous beginners.
wowee these gc2b binders are fucking awesome
Up until now I've always worn underworks just because I didn't want to spend the money and risk getting something I couldn't even use. Right out of the box the binders were the right amount of binding to tightness. I would even go so far as to say I look at least a little flatter with a little less pressure. The pressure itself is nicely distributed, so no weird bulging under or out of it.And the fabric doesn't feel as unnatural as underworks do.
I'm so used to the breaking in period with underworks, where it's painfully tight for like two weeks. But this has about the same amount of binding as my current best underworks without being broken in.
I'll have to see how holds up over the next few weeks. My most comfortable one is still the lesloveboat v neck velco I bought AGES ago. The dont even make it any more and it doesn't even bind enough for anything other than lounging around.
Oh yeah I want to mention the only thing was that I couldn't step into it and pull it up over my hips like I do with the underworks ones. But it wasn't painful to pull over my head like the underworks ones are so I don't know.
I read this and really want to get one now. Mine is gross and tattered and probably not very good but I've had the same model for years. I can probably handle an over-head one after all these years.
>need to get my measurements again
>ran out of T
>doc won't refill prescription without a follow up
>need to wait two more weeks until the appointment
I hate this because if I go too long without T, I get emotions back and want a baby. I can feel it. Does anyone else get this problem? I don't even like kids but it's like some stupid animal instinct that claws at the back of my brain and it's only suppressed by listening to babies crying and T overriding this damn estrogen.
Did you know having a baby actually permanently changes your mental structure? The dad's structure too, no fucking idea how that works. Not your hormonal balance - your actual neural structure modifies. Makes you 'settle down' a bit, changes some of the ways you look at things, the effects aren't entirely understood.
Lot of things change your neural structure, just aging does too, but it's still a creepy thought.
I could really use a new binder. I own two from underworks, one white and one black - the white one being inexplicably tighter and it digs into my sides more.
I put on some weight recently (fat and muscle) and I hope to keep some of it, so I'm looking for a new one. Not super into underworks after that inconsistency. I mean, I won't know what I get with a different brand either, but still.
I'm working on getting my name changed finally. Is there a chance the judge will refuse my petition based on my trans status?
I live in Travis County, TX, if that's relevant.
I got a couple funny stories from when I was a little dude for y'all.
>be me when i was a toddler
>was adopted. brother wasnt
>me and my brother were less than a year apart in age. sometimes mistaken for twins
>our parents would potty train and bathe us both at the same time to save time
>according to our mother, i used to complain and question fairly often why i didnt have the same parts as my brother
>this was back in the 80s and didnt raise any concern beyond being an embarrassing baby story to tell relatives
>be me a little older this time. about 8 years old
>was always a bit of a tomboy but still a good kid for the most part. i was mostly quiet and liked to draw and solve puzzles
>had a weird quirk where i liked to run around shirtless
>one day my mom sits me down and explains that im starting to get boobies and i cant be running around shirtless anymore
>offered to let me pick out my training bra to make up for the disappointment
>says i should be proud of becoming a pretty young lady
>instead i crawled under my bed and cried
Any funny or odd events in your childhood where you looked back and realized it was something that pointed to you being trans?
I just got mine changed up in Denton County. You shouldn't worry too much. For reasons for the change, just put something along the lines of "common usage" or "to create less confusion for friends, faculty and employers". They deal with name changes all the time, you should be okay.
I live in Hays Country for school, and most people I've encountered are pretty good about everything - pharmacists, bankers, staff/teachers/faculty, they've all been nothing but respectful, if not downright supportive. Central Texas can be pretty great sometimes.
Oh, and be prepared for the cost. In Denton County, the filing fee for my name change petition was 273 dollars :/
nothing exciting ever happens in the city when it snows. i don't even have to shovel sidewalks or anything like that. i miss living in the boonies where snowstorms were an actual big deal.
Kinda in the same situation.
Last time I had that horrifying biological urge I got kittens. Being a cat papa now kinda helps.
Yeah, I at least definitely should have. I need to get labs done, but I'm supposed to do them at a trough, and now I'm just out of syringes and SOL.
I'm still pretty crap at adult ing. But getting better.
Honestly, I don't have a lot of stories like that, but I know why
>Hate the way I look growing up
>Fat, go through puberty kinda early (I started wearing a bra in elementary school)
>Always thought I hated myself because I was fat and ugly
>Fast forward to high school
>Get skinny and hot
>Still hate myself
So a lot of my memories of dysphoria in childhood got "misfiled." I don't really remember knowing I wanted to be male until I was about 14. I mean, I always admired/indentified with men more, but you could chalk that up to internalized misogyny...
>one day my mom sits me down and explains that im starting to get boobies and i cant be running around shirtless anymore
>offered to let me pick out my training bra to make up for the disappointment
>says i should be proud of becoming a pretty young lady
>instead i crawled under my bed and cried
Ha fuck, I had the same reaction when I got the period talk at 12
I was super upset about having to wear a bra at like age 7 though
Ref pic of some haircuts to avoid (a couple are okay)
I cried too when I couldn't be shirtless anymore but I think those stories aren't uncommon for cis women either. My mom also stopped bathing me and my older brother together once we started bringing up our differences, however my brother did teach me how to pee standing up despite I didn't have the parts. I mean, I couldn't write my name in the snow but I'm accurate and clean. Too bad it's really only a drunk party trick.
As for other stories possibly relating to trans, mine aren't too interesting. I did cut off all my hair, tried to change my name to a boy's name and threw a fit if I couldn't stand in the boy's line for school but one always stuck out to me.
>be 5 or so
>mom got me a frilly easter dress
>it was soft but not itchy or scratchy
>found myself in front of our full length mirror
>twirling around with it smiling, remembering looking very intensely and careful at my reflection
>slowly fade into a blank stare at it
>suddenly go into hysteric rage mode
>screaming, crying, trying to rip it off and kicking the mirror in a full blown nuclear meltdown
>get taken out of dress, throw off my shoes and pantyhose
>go back to being oblivious kid in my underwear
There's photo and video evidence of it somewhere at my parent's house, it was a pretty sudden reaction. It's possible I was just having PTSD flashbacks from a previous easter, where I was thrown into a lake of hay to find easter eggs and whew, boy. Let me tell you that rolling around in pantyhose and hay do not mix. It still makes me itch thinking about it.
>my brother did teach me how to pee standing up despite I didn't have the parts
I wish I could do that. I'm always scared I'm gonna get outed in the bathroom because people will notice I'm sitting down in the stall... I guess I'll just have to get one of those stand-to-pee things.
Hey I'm still getting one too so I could use a public urinal. Otherwise I just sit down in the stall. It's not like I do it on the regular, I reserve it for being drunk in a city or deep in the woods. Plus I worry about UTIs or accidentally rubbing some gross thing into my junk so I don't like to grab myself all willy nilly.
Worst case scenario for having to sit in a stall is if you have to wait in the bathroom for one to open up, people just think you really have to shit. Anyone waiting for a stall is just pretending to check something on their phone anyway.
My transguy friend got one. I helped him get over the fear of using it in the public restrooms, although he can only use the urinal if no one else is around.
Also, he said it was hard to train yourself to pee standing at first.
3rd row, second to last is the one i have and it works, but i had that problem for a long time. Don't get anything trendy, or anything too traditionally masculine.
poast it. it's helpful to see your face shape, because if you're overweight and you get anything short, you will look like a lesbian
>Some people need to shave the booty
>Shaving glorious, flowing, manly rugged arse hair
idk what being on t is like, but i've never felt that ever... i don't even get how that works...
i'd have to see you and know you better to tell you...
when i was little i just thought i was gonna grow up and be a boy, i cried when i found out about how puberty was gonna work... i was like 3 or 4... something like that, i know i wasn't in school at the time and i started at 5 (never went to pre-k)
i suppose the humour in that is debatable, but yeah...
i'm already sick of the snow, this shit is depressing...
probably should, easier to tell someone what to get/avoid if you can see them...
whats everyone eating/drinking? im going to be living off of ice-cream and soups for the next week because i got stabbed in the tongue and had a piece of metal jammed in there.
>jasper keeps trying to sit on my pillow whilst my head is on it though
just had coffee... i'll eat eventually, idk what yet...
how bad did it hurt in comparison to other piercings? i imagine the healing must suck, i only have a monroe now, but i had 3 piercings in my bottom lip and the week after sucked more than the piercing...
gypsy was trying to bite snowflakes through the glass, but i couldn't get a good pic of it...
it was relatively painful. i think on the same level/a little less as having my lip done, but i have a weirdly short and thick tongue so the needle had more to go through and less area to work in (and on top of that, it was already burnt from too hot food a few days before).
ive had it for like 3 hours and cold has kept the swelling down a lot, and i think the main problem at the moment is trying to swallow while your brain is saying "wait shit dont swallow that thing is on your tongue you cant swallow". i didnt get dizzy or nauseated from the pain though, which is something that usually happens after a piercing so it can't have been that bad, really.
at the moment it feels like ive got climpies (really small boiled sweets) stuck to the top and bottom of my tongue, and it aches like i bit down on it really badly. kinda weird but everyone says itll be worth it.
The way this house is built, the blizzard tornadoes snow in front of the door. So instead of a foot of snow, it's more like three feet of snow in front of the doors.
I had to climb over the counter and through the kitchen window to get outside.
I've always wanted a tongue piercing but I'm worried about smashing it against my teeth.
>want more piercings
>get job for money for piercings
>dress policy at job means I can't get more piercings
>think piercings are awesome as 16 year olds do
>my friends are getting them, I want them
>get scaffold piercing
>4 years later
>take the fucking thing out because it's shit and I hate it and everything is terrible
>21 years old and don't care about piercings anymore
That was the closest thing I got to teen rebellion, being a complete square, and it didn't fucking work. My body has always been my enemy.
i just imagined it hurt like a bitch, i've had a lot of shit pierced but i think ear cartilage might actually suck the most (i had more ear piercings now i just have one in each ear lobe but they're stretched to 1") in my experience, like that shit was worse than my fucking nipple...
i could see how that'd be weird to get used to, just having it there, i had a smiley at one point (most painless piercing ever, but i was really anxious as fuck while the guy put in the jewelry) and having something in my mouth all the time was annoying for the first 2 weeks and then i just didn't at all notice it...
i've never gotten dizzy or nauseous from a piercing... the tattoo on my foot made me feel a little sick though, and my palms sweat a bit i could feel it in my chest and head, it was weird and kinda shitty (great rush after though)
those tend to get really fucked up... i don't know many people who were able to keep then for very long, me included...
I got a hell of a headache last night so I never got to drop pic
I have a more recent photo but it's in cosplay
I've taken to slicking my hair back lately because it's gotten a lot longer and idk what to do with it
Giles Corey is a legend of music, love all the stuff he's put out but that's just a special song.
If you like his more ambient/drony stuff, Tim Hecker is a great shout too.
Anyone else go through a phase in their teen years where they pretended to be a girl so much, as if embracing femininity would somehow get rid of these feelings. Now I'm thinking of transitioning, but I'm afraid my friends just have that image of me from that phase, and would never really accept me.
Yup. Overcompensating and trying to fit into your assigned gender role (and still feeling dysphoria/getting worse) is a very common trans experience.
If your friends are really your friends, they'll accept you and adjust. If not, then they aren't worth having.
yeah i did that for a bit, i felt like people could tell (and since i surprised pretty much no one by being trans i suppose i didn't just feel it) and i wanted to just hide it and be normal so i figured that'd keep people from seeing it... but it made dysphoria and depression etc worse and i ended up having to admit shit to myself when i was binding privately and then putting on a costume to go outside and be around people...
no one mentions it or anything at least, though i'm not particularly embarrassed by it... it pushed me into a place of self realization, and i was better at being a chick than cis girls usually are... so it's just... idk... a vaguely awkward memory that doesn't really matter at this point
Waxing works. But if you think prickly butt stubble is bad, be thankful you don't have curly hair. Ingrown hairs on your butt is probably the actual worst.
Hrm yeah you've already got stuff going on, that means you just can't get certain looks.
What kind of area do you live in/kind of look do you generally go for? The more I look at your face, the more i'm thinking you could actually get a brosnan-style mancut and it would work. But if you're going for a more gaydar vibe something more complicated might be called for.
If they are genuinely your friends, they will put in the mental effort to do so - and that's if they haven't already realized this, at least on some level, and have prepared for it.
It's likely that since this is important to you, you're fearing the bad outcome enough to skew your perception of the likelihood of the results.
And if they aren't able to accept it.. then they just aren't your friends. It's kind of inherent to the term that if someone is actually your friend, they're able to accept things about you. If you 'change' and they can't accept you anymore, then you're just not friends anymore. That's how it works.
I mean, I've never self identified as "female";
I definitely dressed the part when I had a gender policing autist boyfriend. I would go clothes shopping with him because I cant dress myself for shit. Would constantly talk myself into gender roles and expectations. I cut my hair off and he couldn't stand it, kek. Cut him off a few months after and became increasingly andro.
There are some inbuilt things in your brain and body that relate to gender behaviours, but most of them are learned. 'Guy' or 'Girl' are mostly packages of societal behaviours. If the package fits, dressing/acting as it will give other people easily recognizable cues that they can use to more easily relate to you. It also gives the individual a big framework of cues and behaviours to use to structure their interactions with the world - and as the two most dominant tropes of the world, people often imprint on one of them and develop some kind of emotional attachment. There's obviously huge amounts of subvariations, and physical cues can become associated with them, etc, but the basic thing itself is just a bundle of behaviours and ideas.
Ergo it's not really crazy that someone who has rejected living as a female would think of themselves as nonbinary and then later decide that 'male' fits them better. You can have inherent predispositions, but ultimately it's not decided by a god in the sky or something. It's a matter of neurochemistry and thought processes.
A cis guy who looks pretty much exactly like that except for a few angles of the face.
You can't tell me that i'm wrong about what a guy I know and you don't looks like, bud. I mean, maybe you're dysphoric or something, but bro, c'mon.
If you're talking about someone in the third person, which is probably okay on an anonymous forum where you don't know the person pictured, 'that' is not necessarily derogatory. It could be referring to the photo.
Dude comes across like a bit of a cunt though.
i thought i was agender for awhile just because i didn't mentally "feel like" a man. i didn't really know what that meant but i thought that if i were really a man i would understand and feel that way too. i wanted a male body, wanted to live as a man, wanted people to perceive me as male, etc, but because i didn't feel a strong mental gender i thought it meant i wasn't a man.
i realized i was actually a guy when i started to more deeply examine gender in general, i guess. it was kind of through talking to cis people about their gender that clued me in. most cis guys don't "feel like" guys, they just feel like people who are at home in male bodies. that's what i felt like. it took me a while to realize that it's okay for me to feel that way too, and that it's okay for me to define my gender through my relationship to my body like that.
I couldn't determine the quantifiable difference between ftm's and dysphoric non binary people, met people who id as genderqueer and ftm (or nonbinary transmasculine) who have a male body preference but don't feel fully male. Accepted myself as one of those, but then realized that using stereotyping to define male and female genders as solid immutable concepts with strict rules and differences is definitely a flawed way at looking at a transient, cultural concept.
I've heard nonbinary people claim that they are what they are because they have dysphoria toward fully having a male or female body. If you go on T and this starts happening to you, I guess that sort of proves or disproves it.
Just for the record, again, there's a cis guy I know who looks nearly the same as you (facewise), just slightly less feminine features.
And a buzz cut is imo going to make you look like a butch lesbian. You want a variation on short back and sides, the sort of slightly longer haired, tousled version.
I did that, too, and even still a lot of my friends weren't surprised. In high school I had this thing where I overcompensated by wearing really feminine clothes, but still rebelled against femininity by having masculine mannerisms. I never sat with my legs closed even though I only wore skirts.
gay guys wear skirts
also, there's kilts
Also, we will all likely die before the genders stop being sharply defined and defended to the death by /pol/-alikes. Hundreds of years into the future.
eh it's not that i think you need defending or can't handle it... i don't know you to say either really or judge, i just don't like that kinda shit so i said something...
i'm high and drunk, and i just say exactly what i'm thinking as i think it
you really shouldn't fall for the buzzcut meme, youre gonna look like a young boy with leukemia or a lesbian. most cis men can't even pull a buzz off, you should grow it out like logan lerman's or something, also lose weight and lift
if he wanted to be given speshul treatment, he should have just asked his mom for advice, he shouldn't get a masculine haircut because he's doughy and soft looking
+ a buzzcut wouldn't suit you, you don't have the strongest chin... so it would only make that stand out more and you don't want that
you should work out, it'd help a lot cuz you're not fat but you're out of shape, that was good advice... but the buzzcut would be awful, what >>5600037
said would work...
eh i'm not saying he isn't soft looking, i said it was said in a shitty manner and that wasn't cool... there's a distinction you're not making...
he does need to work out, it'd do him a lot of favours... but like... no need to be a dick about it, it's possible to be honest with someone without being an asshole about it...
I know what I need to fix my body so it doesn't disgust me, and these things align with "man" in society. Therefore I'm a man.
The label, unlike the rest of it, didn't come from within - but I don't mind it. And that might point to the difference.
>you really shouldn't fall for the buzzcut meme
Seconding this. It never works, man.
I've had reasonable success with a haircut similar to pic related. It's not particularly masculine, but it doesn't scream lesbian either.
Gay men suck, I hate being gay.
I've been meeting up with a few gays guys I met at an lgbt group and they are nice but when dating was brought up, somehow vaginas got into the conversation and they all go on 5 minute rants about how disgusting and alien vaginas are. Those little skanks know I'm a ftm but they can't just say it's not their cup of tea instead of saying this crap in front of me. These guys are also told me to not give up with dating that I'll find someone (lol) which is almost laughable at this point, considering none of them will give me a second glance now that they know I am trans. I haven't given up completely but I now realize that I'm never going to have any type of love life as a young adult and that I should just focus all my attention on my education / job / getting into grad school. Cheers to slowly becoming a wizard.
>leave ftmg for like 8 months after being here for way too long
>brooklyn still is here posting bird pics
N-never change lads
Yo, I dunno. It might be sooner than we think. Culture is memetically fractaling exponentially as time continues, and because of tumblr culture becoming real life + "transgender" becoming a trend it's likely within the next 20 years.
I said this before, but i'll say it again - bi guys, and non-pride-gay-guys. A lot of the guys at those lgbt groups have bought into a lot of common 'gay culture' shit, that isn't necessary to want to fug men. It depends on area - my area has a lot of cool dudes, but i've heard some horror stories.
There's a lot of guys - especially bottom guys if you top - who really will not give a fuck about your genitals. Now, if you're uggo, or awful to be around, can't help you there - but i'd date a ftm dude without worrying about it, and I know - know - that there is a lot of other guys who feel the same way.
You have a pretty masculine hairline it looks like.
I'd aim to capitalize on that. Maybe grow it out some above the temples, aim being to frame your face more squarely. I can't quite picture how your hair will behave, though. What I am sure of is that a buzzcut will more than anything emphasize what's there, and since your face is soft it won't serve you well.
People have been saying that, though, for hundreds of years. What has a proven effect on relaxing of rabid vicious retards defending social norms is income and education. Aka availability of food, information, and housing. Which will improve as tech grows, but we're still in the infancy of our information age.
What we're actually seeing at the moment is a general social pushback against greater methods of communication as well as the general societal 60-year cycle that is metronoming back towards 'conservative', which is why 'new conservatives' are suddenly so in the public eye, and saying you're 'left' means less left than it used to even 5 years ago.
Like, social change is happening, sure, but it's not fast or accelerating. We'll see a slowdown in new things being accepted for the next 20-30 years, and sharp gender divides is a very strong societal meme that is unlikely to change. Trans is even a symptom of that gender divide in many ways - without a strong societal gender identity and required gender behaviour, would you feel the need to strongly identify as 'male'? I doubt it.
Yeah that makes sense I was just expecting too much because these guys are actually pretty cool and not even that stereotypical of gays.
I did meet a cool guy and we kind of hit it off at a party after being just friends for awhile but [spoiler] he's super thirsty for the d and probably unsure whether or not he wants to date a trans man, and if that's not enough we're both kind of like being mostly submissive during sex and although I think I can enjoy being dominant, I don't know if I want to do that regularly. I texted him for a date and he said he was busy this week I hope he really is busy and isn't just too nice to tell me he's not interested. [/spoiler]
Hey there so I heard you a top and single, Wanna kick it? ;) I'll feed you only the finest cheese and crackers in bed; I swear I'm not even ugly just really short.
What becomes cool quickly becomes uncool again. Sure we'll have a lot of people doing stuff because "fuck the binary" but all those same people are just going to go back to normal once it becomes uncool and move onto the next new and exciting trend like furries or probably some weird fetish.
Also, gay guys talk a lot of shit in general, and might not have meant it. And they might have figured that putting down vaginas was inclusive to you, since you're ftm and gay, and therefore are pro-dicks and anti-vaginas, right? Most people are pretty ignorant about trans stuff
That's actually why i'm lurking this thread, actually. Curious, and also don't want to be a giant sperglord when I run across trans people, which I seem to do a lot.
Lotta tops are into short guys. Hell, i'm into short guys.
i'm still sick all the time, and have shit else to do other than get wasted and chill with my birds and s/o so... yeah... pic related gypsy eating popcorn i couldn't eat, while my s/o and i smoked and watched all the extended versions of lotr with my litte bro while he was visiting for the holidays...
i guess i've also been reading a bunch of court cases and putting together some shit for my older bro cuz custody shit with my niece... i had to talk to that chick who loves me, but is married and also kinda can't stand me to get him a bunch of shit like an informal consultation and a letter cuz she does a bunch of shit with kids and has studied child welfare for like 2 decades... got that, and now she can't stand me again quicker than usual so that was nice... she contacted me first too so i didn't have to like bother with that shit first...
i have nothing going on though pretty much same as usual
and eh, just cuz you aren't gonna fuck anyone there doesn't mean you're gonna be a wizard... there's always the chance of meeting someone eventually and prostitutes...
she's cuter irl, her colours are way brighter...
>Lotta tops are into short guys. Hell, i'm into short guys.
Maybe there's hope for my tiny ass after all.
>Curious, and also don't want to be a giant sperglord when I run across trans people, which I seem to do a lot.
Well you are posting on 4chan so chances are you are already a sperglord and there's not much you can do about it ;)
I guess I need to find gays at other places than gay meet ups. I'm thinking gym so far because of hot swole men plus /fit brainwashed me into thinking that locker room buttsex is a thing, not that I would find out because I don't have enough courage to use the lockers.
That sounds annoying sorry about the kid custody thing, legal and government things are absolutely shit. It's almost impossible to get information on anything and all of their websites are so old and confusing and probably done by unpaid interns who hate their lives.
I was thinking about buying a bird but then I am away from home so I wouldn't be able to spend enough time with it. Birds are just so pretty and having an intelligent pet is always really appealing but I heard they can get sad and lonely if they don't have enough stimulation and it seems hard to take care of them in that way.
>already a giant sperglord
>gay meet ups, locker rooms
Some people claim to be able to gaydar + significant eye contact and pick up in erryday life but I think that's only for super obviously gay guys that likely you'll have the same issues with. I mean, I dunno, but I haven't experienced that working, or particularly tried it. However the guys you meet at gay meetup stuff will likely know other gay guys, or other places to meet gay guys, even if they aren't personally interested in bumping junk. If you befriend them, you'll find more gay guys who aren't necessarily the same type of dude as them. And might be interested in bumping into your junk. Plus more likely to meet bi guys than in random occurrences too.
That image is great. You have excellent taste, sir.
Yeah, really. I'm not like the top whisperer or anything, but it certainly seems like the short bottoms in my area get some play/are preferred by at least some of the dudes. Also, if you're tiny enough, you move from 'short' to 'fucking adorable'. Which if you're macho, is even more adorable. Probably not great if you want to top, though.
Is there an FTM equivalent of what a "hon" is for MTFs?
I just went to a legbutt social group at my university (bad decision I know) and there were like eight FTMs there. They were all ugly, pudgy little moon-faced trolls who dressed like lesbians, had hipster haircuts and spoke with a woman's inflections/hand gestures. I seriously doubt any of them had stepped inside a gym their entire life. Seriously why transition and take T when you're just going to stay a woman in literally every other way.
>having a 13-year old's crustache doesn't necessarily cut the cheese
Why are you singling me out like this.
Although actually, I barely even have a crustache unless I don't shave for two or three weeks. I am developing a neckbeard, though.
Hmm. That's interesting. I never paid much attention to that.
I asked partially because I talk with my hands a lot, although I feel like I tend to make either "illustrative" motions (if that makes sense) or big sweeping ones.
The only ftm's I ever ran into outside of here / the internet, have always been the ones with weird hair and dress / act really feminine.
Kinda left a bad taste in my mouth, and also a reason I'm on the down low / one foot still in the closet with all of it, don't want to get grouped in with that shit show.
I try not to get annoyed with them (although it's not easy).
In my opinion, being ftm is about wanting to be male, not necessarily wanting to be masculine in other ways. Basically, someone can want to have a male body without all the other crap that comes with it, like men's clothing/mannerisms. So I figure those ftms are of that mind.
Everyone experiences gender/sex differently, and I'm certainly no expert on the topic, so I try not to get frustrated with other trans people, even when I think they're acting embarrassing.
Why? You know there are lots of guys that aren't hyper-masc, right? Like, i'm a masc dude, but it just feels like overcompensating if you're demanding that everyone who transitions ftm is built and acts in the absolute most manly way possible. If they're comfortable being feminine guys, or andro or whatever, why are you getting butthurt over it?
I know /lgbt/ has this big 'omg faking it for attention' meme going, but do you genuinely believe that's the case with every single person who doesn't act the way you do and yet is labeled with the same general category?
And I'm terrified of becoming one of them like MtFs are scared of becoming hons. I don't want to be associated with that shit. I just want to pass as a guy and not call attention to the fact that I'm trans.
I'm right on the mark of 5'9" when I bother to stand up straight, and I'm the lucky one out of the litter. My cis brothers are all 5'7" or under, dunno what happened in my genetics to make me of all people "the tall one" of the lot.
i bet most of those people anon described are <2 years on T though. the majority of guys who have been on T for more than few years grow out of this and don't look or act like that anymore.
yeah i think everyone worries about this. i was afraid i'd look like a woman forever too. it took me like 16-17 months to start passing but i did look like a man eventually. i'm stealth now and haven't been misgendered in ages. just gotta be patient man. it takes cis guys awhile to actually look like men too.
Thanks. It helps to hear that. I hate my appearance so much right now, though, I wish I could hurry things along. Well, really, I wish I'd started transitioning earlier, but who doesn't
They aren't feminine like kurt cobain or something, they're feminine like women & maybe that's because they had a very female socialization, which is not fair i guess, because i had a very traditionally male upbringing.
but i just find them to be really embarrassing, shameful excuses for men.
all of ftmtranstastic on youtube is a good example
>it took me like 16-17 months to start passing
That's reassuring. I've heard a lot of people say one usually passes completely at six months, and I only pass sometimes at 7.5. It'll probably be a while before I look 100% like a dude. I guess everyone is different.
If you genuinely think being a feminine guy is embarrassing, shameful, and an excuse for a man, and any feminine dude is automatically a woman, you're a shit human being and a shit man, basically.
Like, detransition, we do not want you. There are already far too many huge assholes out there who treat people like shit due to beliefs like that, and it gives men as a whole a bad image. Call me a SJW or whatever, but that kind of behaviour is fucking unacceptable. Saying that all guys have to be hyper-masc or they're 'shameful embarrassing failures', and the corollary that all women have to be hyperpetite feminine whatever is the most simplistic asshole bigot reasoning ever and tramples all over people's identity and their freedoms.
It's fucked up asshole behaviour, from any gender, but it's already associated with men enough as it is and we do not need more of it. Why the fuck do I have to be treated like a fucking asshole, justifiably, by people because so many people like you give masc dudes a bad name. Fuck.
yeah, that's a total myth. everyone is different and it's not at all normal to pass at 6 months. you just get lots of people like that on the internet because the people who post about progress are self-selected – of course you're going to see more people talking about passing early.
Mate, i'm a cis guy. I could literally snap you like a motherfucking twig. When I say 'we', I mean masculine guys, like me, who are sick of bigoted gloating assholes giving them such a bad fucking name. If you can't hack being a guy without some weird fucking simplistic bigot philosophy, that causes you to be a huge asshole, then stop. There are enough retards in this gender already - we are full - please take your bags and go the fuck home.
Just because you're not secure in your masculinity doesn't mean you have to shit on someone else's. Another person's gender has nothing to do with you. You can bitch about how "it makes us look bad," but you and I both know the general public hates us either way.
You're too stupid to use proper grammar or spelling, you're too idiotic to understand the difference between male and masculine, and you feel the need to take that out on others enough that you're talking about it in a public forum.
You're a literal waste of testosterone.
Hrm. Honestly the slicked back makes you look more female than the way you had it before. Seeing this, i'm DEFINITELY against the buzz cut. It would be like this but more feminine. If you want masc, you should be looking at brosnan haircuts methinks. I feel like there's a cut that would put you firmly in the 'male but gay' category, but i'm just not seeing it.
A bit of advice from personal experience: worry less about what looks most masculine and more about what you think looks good on you.
I've had a pretty conservative, non-butchy haircut since I started transitioning, and it didn't seem to make much difference in whether I passed or not. When you become borderline passing (like I am) it matters a lot more, but for now maybe you should just have fun.
At the end of the day it's your decision, but I kind of regret giving up a cool hairstyle 6 months before it even mattered.
No idea. I haven't checked my bench in ages, but it'd probably be around 110 at the moment. Kg, not whatever wizard measurements the americans use.
Buddy, you just got fucking owned. 'hur youtube' is not going to save you at this point.
I'm less angry about your shitlord attitude, now, because the more you talk the clearer it is you're just self-hating and awkward as fuck. Not that it makes your shit okay, but it's at least explained a bit. Pity tends to get in the way of anger, for me.
woah another utena fan. we're pretty rare nowadays. utena was pretty instrumental for me in terms of my gender ~journey desu
though it was one of the many shows/animes/etc that left me disappointed when the heroine didn't ACTUALLY turn into a guy at the end...
>tfw bio dad has heavy beard
>tfw all I need is T
I got into it about last year, bought like every single piece of Utena merch I could at AX's artist alley just because it was rare as shit to find it
Almost as rare as Inazuma shit
The only anime that helped me in terms of gender was FMA, specifically Envy
Do you like super shoujo proportions and bisexuality with a heavy focus on yuri
I get emotionally invested easily when I see people being assholes. I'd consider it a personality flaw, but then I see everyone else not giving a shit, and I pause. Better to give too much of a shit than none.
I stay fit to stay fit, not to brag about how much I 'bench'. Bench isn't a great way to stay flexible or efficiently exercise, either. If you're obsessed with how much you bench, you're working out to show off, not because you want a fit, capable body. And again, you're an insecure wreck and not a functioning man.
But likely i'd kick your ass even if I couldn't bench shit. I have yet to run into a bigot who knew how to fight against someone who fought back, and bigots are always the first to call in a crowd of their friends any time they feel threatened.
I dunno, I like stuff that is good. I'm not really sure how to describe it, but I cherrypick the best stuff out of a lot of genres.
A super what with what what, and what? You've lost me. Wait, shoujo is 'for girls' and 'yuri' is like some kind of specific japanese lesbian something. Proportions? Please explain what you just said because it confused the shit out of me.
you nailed it, it's girl-on-girl in anime/manga
In a lot of shoujo styled things they'll give the characters long gangly skinny limbs, big ass eyes, pointy as fuck chins. Utena is definitely one of these animes
>long gangly skinny limbs, big ass eyes, pointy as fuck chins
Why? Just a drawing style thing or..
Well I guess that doesn't really answer my question. Like I said I tend to like things that are well-done rather than what they have in them in terms of content. I guess. I will go. And download this thing. And watch the first thing of it. And see if I like it.
here, watch some of these:
(some spoilers but honestly if you don't know anything about the series you'll not even know what you're being spoiled for)
basic plotline: a girl vows to become a prince when she grows up, and then goes about trying to achieve it.
it's a very dark and obtuse series, super heavy on symbolism. it basically ruined anime for me because nothing else i watched afterwards lived up to utena's storyline and the skill of its execution.
there's a non-overt lesbian storyline but i wouldn't call it a yuri anime. it's not really the focus. i'm not into girls and i still enjoyed the love story aspect. it's really gay in general, pretty much every main character both male and female has overt or implied gay sex at some point.
who was your favorite character anon :3
i don't think i could pick a favorite... maybe mikage though, i loved the black rose arc.
i hated touga. i mean he was an interesting character i guess, i just hated him as a person. i took the stuff he did to utena in the first arc of the series really personally haha.
but you shouldn't listen to me, because even though i hated touga i was pretty fond of saionji. and i think he was pretty objectively a more vile person than touga.
i think i was okay with saionji because i got the impression that he was a decent guy who had been negatively influenced by touga and akio, and who spent a lot of the series lashing out as a way of dealing with his emotional problems. none of which is really an excuse for what he did... but touga was a hurtful asshole just for the sake of being a hurtful asshole, and that just felt way more gross and shitty to me.
i got the information easy enough, on like why alabama is a horrible place for her mom to relocate and whatnot, but the childhood devlopment shit was annoying to find so i got lucky that this chick wanted to talk to me again... i mean she seriously did a lot and all i had to do was talk to her about unrelated shit for a bit, and when she finished i waited a couple days before pushing all the buttons i know get to her (all honest shit, but eh...), and then yeah... now i don't have to deal with her, but i got the other half of the case for my bro without having to really do much so it worked out
well enough... i wish my bro would do this shit on his own though, but he gets overwhelmed so i kinda had to just take over and get it done...
birds do need a lot of attention yeah, especially depending on the species... like gypsy is a conure so she likes tons of attention, but it's easy to give it to her cuz it's mostly just chilling with her while i do shit i was gonna do anyway (she sits on my shoulder or chills with my s/o cuz she really likes him...and anyone who gives her attention... or she plays but it's like her flipping around kicking while i grab at her feet) and she goes outside when it's warm if i'm just going for a walk or to stores or something that i can bring her, and they're all happy as shit to chill in the garden with me... the budgies need less attention cuz i have two of them and they're happy to play with each other (and with gypsy) and chill on their playground for the most part... they do need a lot of toys though to keep them happy and engaged, but like... with birds you can give them a knotted up string and they'll be happy for an hour just untying the knots, and things like learning tricks makes them happy too... like right now gypsy's learning to fly to us when we whistle a certain way, and she knows "step up" to climb onto our fingers, and "shake" it's a bit like dealing with a 1-2 year old and a dog combined pretty much
dysphoria i'd imagine... it's a bitch whether you're masculine or not...
i'll never understand the "wanting to be" shit, i don't want to be anything other than comfortable which requires relief from dysphoria not like "oh i want to be a guy"
it's not really overcompensating, it's more just... having unrealistic expectations about other people, and it's not like it's unheard for guys who are more masculine to be put off by extremely feminine guys...
i'm 9 inches under that... my dad is 5'2 and my mom is 4'11 though, i didn't have much of a chance...
he has no idea what an nes is... damn i feel old... honestly he seems just... extremely gay desu, and like he has shit taste in fighting games (guilty gear and blazblue are so much fucking better)
no sage bc phonefag, my bad & rarely post
i am ftm. i am gay. but only seem to find myself attracted to other ftms. am i a fucking chaser or some shit? i was ftm before i began fucking other ftms, but once i went with another i can't seem to get into cis guys. how do i even meet other ftms that aren't tumblr freaks??
anyway i'm p hungover and i cba thinking this thru so one of you do it for me, cheers!
i wouldn't really call that chasing, it's different when you're trans too i think... but i actually have a soft spot for other transguys (it may or may not be related to my s/o being one... idk, i've been with him so long sometimes it's hard to tell how he's influenced my taste) so that's probably part of it... i have no strong preferences in any direction cuz i don't care that much, but yeah...
Rim anon here for earlier. Going to see my ftm date in just over an hour at his apt. Going to see where it goes. Might report back later on tonight with sexy results.
Part of being a chaser is not respecting trans people; since you're also trans (and concerned about being a chaser) this is probably not the case.
There's nothing wrong with having preferences as long as you're not fetishizing people. And anyway, why wouldn't you want to be in a relationship with someone who can truly understand your identity/experiences? I date a cis guy, and as much as I love him, sometimes I wish I was with another trans person who could really empathize with what I'm going through.
I hate when I'm skimming /lgbt/ and see the threads where MTFs go on about why being female is so amazing.
Nah, I could understand the appeal of wanting to date another trans person, especially one the same gender as you
You want someone you can relate to, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Saying female acting and dressing ftms seem awkward and embarrassing is not being an asshole, and has nothing to do with feminine cis men or feminine trans men, your delicate sensibilities are too easily offended.
>you're an insecure wreck
>not a functioning man
a lot of projection there sarah, who is a female that pretends to be a man on boards.4chan.org/lgbt/
good taste familia
Looking unpassing and feminine is in every way better than unpassing and butch imho. Being extreme butch almost makes it harder to pass in a weird way because people just think you're an overcompensating lesbian and if you dress like a normal but feminine guy people just assume you're a guy and don't double check your gender. I pass 100% of the time, except when I'm with my friend (who I love) but she is the living embodiment of a flaming tumblr lesbian and people see one lesbian and see me and be like that person must be an extreme lesbo.
Dating another ftm would be pretty cool, honestly dating anyone who doesn't need the whole "trans talk" would be awesome. Also you wouldn't need to worry your partner won't see you as a man a shit if you don't bother wearing your binder while you're chilling at home and shit
I think it's interesting to read about all of these people who are longing for all the things that make me loathe myself, my body, and my life. It just reaffirms for me that I'm not "supposed to be" a woman. There is no part of me whatsoever that enjoys or wants those feminine things.
In my experience, guys who hate feminine guys are assholes, usually misogynists, often grew up in fucked up home environments, and usually have other fairly unsavoury characteristics and attitudes like racism. They're the beer-swilling underbelly of male culture, and it's not 'normal' for guys to 'be put off' by feminine guys. Every single masc guy i've known who has been 'put off' by feminine guys has been concealing basically bigoted attitudes. Everyone who isn't put off is a genuinely good dude. You know enough guys, find out more about their personal lives and friends and shit, you learn these signs. It's not even ambiguous - it's nearly universal. The one exception i've found is that gay guys in the closet are sometimes 'put off' by feminine guys because of the feminine=gay meme, because they are attracted to them and denying it. Which isn't the same as being bigoted, even if it makes you act like an asshole.
>Every single masc guy i've known who has been 'put off' by feminine guys has been concealing basically bigoted attitudes
This. There's no reason you'd be annoyed by someone else's gender presentation unless you had shitty opinions.
Why would you dislike feminine dudes unless
a) you think being a woman is bad
b) you have 1950s-tier ideas about gender which dictate that men and women are polar opposites
>14-15 years old
>with friend at a mall
>got send there by his parents to help buy a decent shirt for him because he could barely tie his shoes on his own
>really funny guy though, but awkward and pudgy
>anyway. we're in the men's dept of a chain store when a gaggle of teenage lesbians rolls up the stairs
>their leader starts pointing at people
>"there's one, there's one, one over there"
>she's really loud, can't be ignored and clearly doesn't want to be
>it takes me a second...
>Oh! she's pointing out each and every dyke shopping in the men's department of H&M on this Saturday afternoon
>the gaggle systematically approaches, leaving a trail of annoyed women in their wake
>my friend is oblivious, still trying to wrap his head around fashion as if defcon isn't rising by the second
>oh shit it's my turn
>accidentally lock eyes with alpha dyke
>I turn to my friend
>he's looking at shirts like I look at physics
>It's futile. Over my feeble conversation I can hear lesbian supreme charging
>"AND THERE--THAT'S /TWO/ MORE"
>as the dykes disappear I look around us
>only me and my cis guy friend nearby, still oblivious but now utterly confused
>he got fingered as a dyke by association
>at the time he looked arguably more girly than I
>pyrrhic victory achieved?
"not unheard of" doesn't equate with "normal" so yeah... i wasn't saying shit about your average guy or whatever, just that some guys aren't cool with feminine guys, and that doesn't equate with overcompensation... it's just the way some people are, so yeah... that was kind of an unnecessary lecture that has nothing to do with what i said...
i'm not particularly masculine myself, and i don't give a fuck about what other people are like... but i'm not gonna automatically tell someone "you're overcompensating" simply cuz they're put off by a group of people, that can and does put some other people off... that's just reality, i'm not talking about the quality of the people or how many people there are who are like that... simply that they exist, which you're aware of so yeah...
calling everything "overcompensation" is like being the parent of a kid who gets picked on and insisting everyone else "is just jealous" that's just not the way shit works 100% of the time and it always sounds ridiculous
not only am i not put off or particularly masculine, but femininity isn't just one specific set of things... you can be fine with femininity when it's expressed in one way and not another, you're assuming these guys weren't the worst examples of what feminity can be... which doesn't equate with hating women or having some super old school ideal of what a man is... it's just disliking a specific way someone might express feminity...
there's ways to be hyper masculine that are shit and ways that aren't... wide variety of traits and shit...
as a matter of fact if i saw somewhere they mentioned kurt cobain as an example of feminine man that didn't bother them... so someone who crossdressed, kissed guys, was extremely sensitive, had long hair etc is totally fine to them, but someone else who is feminine in other ways they find off-putting isn't ok with them...
that's really not what you're making shit out to be...
You got handed an absolute perfect opportunity to give an asshole a massive fuck you. Why didn't you take it. Doing stuff like that is pretty socially unacceptable, you'd have all kinds of ammo.
If I see a ftm going apeshit over guys being feminine, i'm going to say that's overcompensation until proven otherwise. Because probabilitywise, it is.
>it's just the way some people are
We have this little thing called reason. Weren't you the person saying that willpower is infinite and you can change anything about yourself?
I have anger issues. I get very, very angry, and when I get angry what I want is to get violent. I want to destroy fucking everything, and I am very capable of doing so. If that's 'just the way I am', why then am I capable of controlling myself and not beating people half to death every time they do shit I disagree with?
when the fuck have i ever said willpower is infinite and you can change anything about yourself? the answer is never... someone else was putting words in my mouth when i said some of the issue with people who have trouble keeping weight off (or losing it in the first place) is a matter of willpower...
if you're going to talk about things i've said in the past, at least be right about it...
i really don't care that you have anger issues and are capable of self control it's irrelevant... i was pointing out that assuming that someone hated women or is overcompensating cuz they don't care for being in a room with a bunch of flaming gay guys is ridiculous... some people just don't care for that
personally i don't give a fuck, my third hs was an alternative performing arts school right by time's square, place was fucking loaded with hyperfeminine, bitchy gay guys and i have no problem with that... i can get along with them, and i have friends who are that... but people do find that offputting, and it's not a matter of overcompensation or hating women...
you'd like to believe it's overcompensation simply cuz you can say that, insist you're right and then pass that judgment on someone who says shit you don't like and think it sounds good... it doesn't though, that's all i'm saying
Dykes are the worst, they think they get oppression points when lesbian relationships are accepted more than any other type of relationship, probably even including interracial.
Honestly you it depends where you are, if you live somewhere where everyone's a wanna be liberal just talk to any employee and say that the girl is heckling lesbians and that you feel threatened and uncomfortable around her. As the cherry on top you say that she was making fun of your autistic friend for acting feminine and used the "r word." Bam- that's already like a instant ban from every H&M, plus if she makes a scene when security comes she could even get arrested by the real police.
I've had.. well, hundreds. I tend to be a bit socially nomadic, but I love understanding people, so even if I only know someone for a couple of months, I generally try to learn about them. I've got a few people that I love and will die talking to - and then a lot of people I meet and spend time with for years, and then other people I meet casually, hang with for a few months and gradually slip out of their lives.
It also helps to be socially observant and relatively unhindered by 'shoulds'. I don't think anything is necessarily anything, and take a scientific/philosophical approach to life. Makes it a lot easier to see the real shape of things.
If 'most' men that you know 'detest feminine men', congratulations, the people you know share your views. In that you are similar to 99% of humanity - most people will not befriend someone different to them. That you think everyone else in the entire world shares those views is a classic behaviour as well, humans tend to try to see others as themselves - this includes ignoring things that they don't agree with and remembering/adding importance to things they do. You see a guy scowl when a flaming gay guy walks past, and remember that, and ignore the 30 other people who didn't.
I love that pic man I have so many saved
I've been looking for a pic recently related to ftmg (I think it used to be one of the thread heading images). It's a picture of this scandelous ftm guy (or his junk magically switched to female junk idk) from some bara and then the box censoring his cooter says "not suitable for a christian manga" or something. Also does anyone know the name of that bara... for educational purposes of course.
>24 pack of shit beer to myself
>drunker than I should be on a Sunday night
>binge watching garbage tv series on netflix
I am so alone, feels real bad.
Tell me somethin good to cheer me up ftmgen.
what'd you watch?
and idk... the best thing i have going for me is i found codeine in the house and am gonna have some quality alone time by myself tomorrow... doubt that's gonna cheer you up, but i'm pretty happy about it...
First of all, >>5604940's passive-aggressive advice is kinda like, the worst neckbeard advice i've heard in a long time. Don't do that.
Secondly, pointing out people that are gay (or that you think are gay) is generally accepted to be beyond the pale by most gay people, so is the standard familiar-from-high-school popular girl with popular friends doing something on the borderline of unacceptable to show how edgy and cool she is thing. So she'll have some glib explanation if confronted, which doesn't even need to make sense - but what i'd do is just stick to the guns, ignore/don't engage the explanation and repeat that it's not cool. Then i'd bring up someone (i'd probably use the friend) as an example of someone she's harming, then some general examples, and the audience you're playing to here is her friends - not because you're going to sway their opinion, but because her fear that they might think she's actually a bitch because of it will cause her to doubt and say something assholeish and back off. She'll leave, and it won't be a win, but she'll hesitate before doing the same thing again.
Situations like that, it really helps to read the mood, change the tone, confuse the person. If you make the experience negative, the positive feeling of scoring points from unresisting people goes away, and they're just much less likely to repeat it. Also if your bants is good, you might make a friend.
I binged through Orange is the new black while I wait for the new ep of shameless, and watched 3 hours of Hoarders.
Codeine is a blessing, I got really hooked on that shit when I was highschool, always made a bad day a little easier. Congrats to you for havin' it.
i don't even know how to fix my social life at this point. probably gonna go to a metal show alone in a few days, just to give myself the illusion that i have a life
If you're already watching garbage on netflix look up kung fury, it's some weird netflix garbage and it's pretty funny. Also the new marco polo hundred eyes ep was pretty good.
If it makes you feel any better I am turning twenty now and am still addicted to fanfiction, I don't even read books anymore just fanfiction. Half the time I don't even like them I just read them because I don't have anything else to do.
Sorry you're feeling bad bro I'd send you virtual hugs if I could.
I know some mtf are okay with being seen as a fat girl but are any Ftms okay with becoming neckbeards? I mean you still pass, but as a fedora tier neckbeard. Anyone actually want to become that? (I'm not an ftm, just curious. Sorry for invading your thread)
I've really wanted to go to shows or even lower myself to clubbing lately but sober me thinks that's a terrible idea so I never actually go through with it. I hope you have a good time at your gig though, might meet some like minded folks at those - know most people that show up to those types of shows are pretty tight.
i've actually never had it... used to take a lot of oxys, and i love vicodin and percs though and it's been a while so i'm looking forward to it... opioids/opiates are my favourite... i just smoke weed as often as i do as a substitute, but it's far from my favourite drug...
i like getting wasted and watching hoarders, i prefer the episodes where they're got a fuckton of cats + all the junk though...
my s/o's grandma was a pretty bad hoarder, had to clean her apartment when she was in the hospital (she eventually died of lung cancer, and that's why she was there) and that shit was crazy... she had like pathways through the house with just shit piled up to the fucking ceiling on either side, that you could only walk single file through... and we literally had to go through every single bag and box (and there were boxes within boxes and bags filled with bags that were filled with smaller bags that were folded up into tiny squares like some kinda fucking inception oragami shit... it was kinda amazing honestly, but like you'd get to the bottom of that shit and there'd be like a few hundred bucks or a gold necklace)
she had a cat too, we thought it was missing and got out somehow, but my s/o's mom found it dead in a drawer under a bunch of shit a few months later...
yeah i'm a huge TAA fanboy, so i guess i'm a neckbeard at heart, i wouldn't mind
+ have you watched bojack horseman? it's better than garbage, and if you like martial arts movies and it's still there chocolate was actually pretty good... and if you don't mind subtitles sympathy for mr vengeance is still on there, i rewatched it the other day, it's one of my favourite movies... it's part of the park chan wook's vengeance trilogy along with oldboy, and while it's not as stylish it's a way better movie that doesn't turn into massive shit by the end like oldboy did
I think for a lot of overweight ftms, it's unavoidable. T makes you grow facial hair but I've yet to see guys who can grow enough of it it on their cheeks and upper lip to justify having a real beard. It mostly seems to grow out on the jawline and neck, giving a "neckbeard" look.
But on the upside, not letting your looks dictate how you act isn't hard to do. As long as you don't act like the creepy internet neckbeards then how you look isn't important.
Also not buying a fedora and shaving can help a lot here too.
it just makes you feel real warm and fuzzy, kind of the same feeling as Valium or Klonopin if you've ever taken that. I love that feeling honestly, feels like all your worries are just melting away.
I had a point where I was living in an almost hoarders situation, we we're living in a real shit area and didn't unpack anything and there were just boxes and boxes of shit stacked ontop of eachother and bags hanging all over the place. There was only one clear walk way through the entire apartment. None of us were hoarding 'cause we were just too lazy / optimistic of moving somewhere better to unpack but it felt like we were hoarding all the same.
The dead cat thing though, shit man, that's just rough.
The question doesn't really make sense to me. Isn't the neckbeard fedora shit a combination of look(shitty fashion, unkempt facial hair, greasy, etc) and shitty personality? Fat girls are just fat.
Also I've actually never seen a fat mtf before, sup with that?
thank. i'm awkward as hell, so i usually just come late and blend into the back.
its a good way to dampen the loneliness, since most people are just focused on the show, and don't notice if you look like an idiot or not.
>also clubbing sounds like a nightmare
i've taken valium, i enjoy benzos... and yeah i figured it's just warm and like christmas since all opioids have that going for them...
my s/o's mom is a hoarder, had to live there at one point... that shit was a nightmare for unrelated reasons though... that sounds like it'd make me feel claustrophobic, i get anxious as fuck in places like that...
yeah it was some crazy shit, after the apartment was clean she got a new cat, but yeah... i find it strange that cats seem to be the preferred pet of hoarders
Clubbing only sounds fun when I'm already drunk / high enough to not focus on how much I hate being in crowds.
I've been to a few grindcore shows myself, and aside from the mosh pit most folks stick to themselves or go off and chat with other people on the sidelines. It's a pretty good way to meet other people actually, most people I've met through that kinda thing have been super chill.
most of them have severe eating disorders cuz they think the thinner they are the more feminine they'll look... what's sad about that is there's a point where they can get too skinny and look more masculine as a result, and i've seen a lot of them hit that point
I wonder why that is, it does seem like most hoarders do prefer having cats over any other pet.
I knew when I lived in that apartment I was never there because of how claustrophobic it made me, felt like a tomb encased with boxes. I don't know how someone can get to a point of just being used to living like that.
I got my hands on some valium and oh boy, I did not have a fun time. I never thought 'may cause suicidal thoughts' was 'really' a side effect of any meds. Maybe it's because I actually have anxiety problems so I can't really 'enjoy' benzos. Xanax and klonopin help with it, but man I feel like I'm missing out on something fun since all they do is make me not bug out. Never felt warm, pleasant, euphoric, etc.
Well I did get something awesome with a long string of lorazepam and oxys but I fucked up hard with those withdrawals.. Opiate withdrawal I can suffer through fine, but that ativan withdrawal holy fuck. I will go through 100 opiate withdrawls by choice if it saves me from 1 benzo withdrawal.
Valium/Klonopin have always been my scripts of choice, it definitely isn't for everyone as far as valium goes- in the sense of how you described making some feel suicidal / depressed. Though for me, it helped with my panic attacks (probably the only reason I don't have them anymore actually). Nothing ever felt better than 2 valiums, comfy place to crash and a long documentary. Xanax I can't take though, makes me itchy as fuck.
Yikes, hope you're not doin too bad now man, withdrawals fuckin suck.
I haven't seen Bojack Horseman yet, heard really good things about it though.
I really dug Oldboy / Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, I really dig park chan wook's work, and that's the only movie i've yet to see out of the vengeance trilogy.
It did curb my anxiety, it was just weird. I wasn't mellow, wasn't freaking out, but I wasn't happy, content, upset, etc. I pretty much just sat in the bath for like an hour and forced myself to go to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking of suicidal shit. Which I do every day anyway, but that's casual stuff like 'oh man it'd suck if i just walked in front of these cars' and has no drive/emotion about it so it's gone the next second. Valium just put something behind those thoughts I wasn't happy with and couldn't even find a 'justifiable' reason why they would.
Xanax isn't my favorite but it does what I need it to do - stop panic attacks fast. Tires me out so I can't be bothered to flip out. I'm self medding with klonopin right now because I haven't been able to get anything worthwhile for my panic attacks, which sucks. I handled my xanax very responsibility and didn't even take them as prescribed(twice a day), I just kept them around if I knew I was going to have a panic attack(so could be anywhere from 0-5 pills a month) and only used them as a last resort. But with an overdose under my belt - despite not involving benzos, opiates or any 'street' drugs - well I fucked myself over with that one. But I'm doing good overall, that and the withdrawals were like.. Two years ago.
it's weird as hell right?
i think it's just that they have shit wrong with them in the first place you know? so when it gets out of control they just get overwhelmed and live with it... my s/o's grandma actually had half her fucking bathtub full of junk too... it was all like covered in garbage bags and tarp and she'd shower with it...
yeah shit can cause suicidal thoughts... i accidentally took zoloft once instead of xanax (i was high on pcp and weed and coming down and i didn't want the high to end, the bottles were next to each other... long story), and that shit made me crazy... i had like every bad side effect and kept thinking about killing myself to make it stop... i was fucked up for 3 days cuz of it 'til it wore off... the only reason i was able to deal with it is cuz i figured out what i took, found out the halflife and how long it would last, and realized pain helped...
i have panic attacks and anxiety issues etc, but i can still get fucked up on xanax and valium etc have a good time... you just might not be able to handle them... certain drugs don't mix with certain people
Dang I fumbled the ending a bit, correction
>as the dykes disappear I look around us
>only me and my cis guy friend nearby, still oblivious but now utterly confused
>he got fingered as a dyke by association with me
>but at the time he looked arguably more girly than I
>did /I/ get fingered as a dyke by proximity to him?
(I made eye contact with leader lesbian, so not likely - but)
>either way, pyrrhic victory?
There. I can rest now.
Damn I could have used some advice of that calibre at the time. Frankly, I still could, so thanks.
As you get fatter you get more androgynous, and I was more talking about chubby mtfs, idk any who are obese, just overweight. I meant an ftm ends up looking like this instead of /fit/ also is the general not bumping? Doesn't that mean someone should make a new thread?
i liked bojack a lot, both seasons and the christmas special were great
i haven't seen sympathy for lady vengeance, every time i started it something's come up... it's like how every time i've ever tried to finally finish lock, stock, and two smoking barrels something happens and i never get past the middle...
i loved oldboy up until the end... the end was just so fucking ridiculous though that it was just... it made the movie feel pointless
sympathy for mr vengeance is great though, the story is significantly better and way more cohesive
We don't make a new thread until this gets bumped off. Plus it gives us stragglers time to go with our long, boring, not related to anything conversations that would just shit up a new thread.
Only like two people bother ever making a new thread anyway.
Valium was the only thing that ever numbed me out in the "right" way. I still had my suicidal /sh thoughts but I was too comfortable to really act on any of it, it was a "why hurt myself when this couch is so warm" kind of situations personally. Can totally get how that can make someone feel emotionless / no drive though.
Dude, that's rough.. Glad to hear you're doing better despite an OD under you're belt. Being on any sorta opiates/narcotics can certainly fuck you pretty bad, so it's good to know you know where you're at least responsible with them at this point.
It was kinda interesting, OD'ing. In a fucked up, morbid curiosity way(i dont think it was on purpose, i lost that entire day/night and most of my ICU stay). But being in and out half conscious in the ER, frothing, seizing and legitimately thinking 'huh so, i'm dying' was def an experience. Oddly lackluster and when I was out, it was like nothing ever happened.
By 'responsible' its more 'i don't have access anymore'. But I'm also taking steps to prevent access to them in any sort of way so.. It's something. Hell, I'm binge watching House and its making me itch for it bad but I got to the point that even after stopping for months and starting again, I just couldn't feel what I used to feel so that turned into just keeping taking them out of habit despite them not doing shit for me. I know I did it to myself and all, but shit. Major respect to addicts with self control. I'm wondering if this crap ever goes away or is it really just distracting yourself enough so you don't have time to think about it.. I might cave again sometime down the line, maybe a little bit, maybe more than ever before but I've been pretty ok, been a good year so I think I'll be fine. I just wish getting help wasn't so scary and debilitating. Rehab/drug counseling doesn't look good on your record if you actually really do need narcotics.
I already know I'm gonna look way more like Patton Oswalt than I'm gonna look like Aydian (I had to google that spelling, what the hell) Dowling, and I'm fine with that. If I'm a pudgy weird little dude, that's fine, I'm at least a dude.
Not buying any fedoras though, and I'm definitely shaving.
....soon. I'm shaving soon. Let me treasure these horrible tiny chin pubes a little longer...
the closest I ever got to ICU was a psych ward, and that was enough of a call for me, the idea of fading in and out of life is terrifying at this point in my life. I'm impressed by your ability to be as calm about it as possible, i'd be shitting bricks over the matter.
Well if you're preventing access to it you're definitely responsible in the matter if you feel as though things have gotten out of hand with your substance taking. I never could watch house, i liked the first few seasons but once it got into more character driven stuff I lost interest, the medical diagnosis portions were always my favorite part.
You seem pretty self aware of the situation you're in, I'm sure you'll pull through eventually, though addiction is a hell of a path to go down, it's half about distraction and half about realizing that substances realistically don't make anything easier.
I've had a couple of serious injuries, and one potentially life-threatening illness, every time I got a lot calmer, matter of fact, except when the pain was overwhelming. Seems normal to me.
That must be strange to just confront possible death with a shrug at most, I'm not exactly scared of dying but the brushes with it I've had were never shrug worthy, more contemplative "the fuck am i doing" moments. I can only imagine how odd it must be to face it enough to the point of acceptance.
It's not a shrug, you're just calmer. While i'm sure there are people who scream and struggle and get stupid when they're injured, for me, I calm down and think clearly and concisely.
I got shocky after I nearly got hit by a car the other day, like, ran in bad shoes and knew if I tripped i'd get run the fuck over. Adrenaline high, shock, etc. But when i've actually been injured, no hysterics, just calmer, rational, etc.
Different anon - I'm usually terrified of the idea of dying, but once, when I actually came close to dying (I was anorexic, severely underweight, and dehydrated; my blood pressure suddenly tanked, and I could barely stay conscious on the ride to the hospital), I remember thinking, "I'm going to die now, right here, and I'm okay with it." I'd been panicking up until that point as I felt myself slipping away and struggled to remain conscious, but then I just completely accepted that my life was over. It was so weird. Of course, I didn't end up dying.
I hope that, when I do die, if I'm conscious, it'll be like that again. I don't want to go out terrified, kicking and screaming.