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Old Thread: >>5520614
does anyone feel like the the grief and pain that comes with alienating your family and friends and and any future relationships outweighs the need to transition?
i feel the comfort of my male body because of familiarity but pine for the body i wished i had. then thinking about being in a new crafted body scares me too.
Joining in but keeping it chill here.
I live in DC and to be frank, I have issues getting involved in the community. After I got out of the Army I went to university for 2 years to finish up my degree. I tried getting into the LGBT fratority on campus but... well being 29 years old and trying to get on with a bunch of kids? Midnight train to nopesville.
I really wish I could pass, walking around years on estrogen as a guy is wearing on me
>Been on HRT the past 10 years, 8 of which were with one doctor.
>He was the best in the Chicago area, and a very great person that was as much a life mentor and intellectual/spiritual guide to me as an endocrinologist.
>He was also old as fuck, the last time I saw him, he didn't look so well.
>I moved out of state but intended to go back to him anyways.
>My scripts are going to run out. And I'm due for my appointment. But I can't get a hold of him.
>His main office number is giving me a not in service signal, and his secondary and tertiary numbers are giving me a mailbox full message.
>The pharmacy can't get him through fax either.
I fear the worst, that he may have passed away. His practice was private and I am as much distressed about losing a person very important to me as much as the fact that I need to find a new doc fast.
Does anyone have a good doc in the Madison, WI or Chicago areas?
yes to both... or i think of the women im attracted to now. and that once i -->girl that ill be thrown into a different world. like a world of lesbian culture that i dont know. im not speaking of specific people obviously i guess just groups or subcultures or scenes of people? but then i dont know where ill move or be in the future and just going down this rabbit hole of infinite possibility scares me. like the limitlessness of paths as one person gives me anxiety enough so the thought of that being split even more by being a potentially different person just amplifies it... like its two seats of infinite possibility
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I hope he simply retired and is living out a relaxing life.
As for a new doc, I like the people at Howard Brown. Everything I've done with them so far has been great, and I'm usually really terrified about doctors and such.
I wanna get myself a BJD but the good ones are so expensive.
>you will never be a lolita doll with in a snowy woods diorama with a garand
Actually that's an M14, sorry senpai. I know that feel tho, it would kinda be fun to be a pretty doll that gets dressed up and taken care of.
Someday somebody is going to realize the untapped market potential for a robot exosuit that looks like a ball jointed doll's body.
>you will never be the Major
I wanna be a pretty cyborg badass
A proper Busou Shinki would just be a tiny autonomous BJD. With cool fighting equipment too but I'll just settle for a small robot pal.
That could go horribl horribly wrong. I recently played this game called Soma.
It deals with consciousness, what's human and what's AI and it is one of the most depressing and horrifying game experiences I've ever had. Look it up on wikipedia, the ending is pure torment.
I didn't know anyone but they were all cool and nice, some guessed I was trans because of who invited me but I passed... Like I didn't know how nice that side tumblr could be jeez they taked about it some times and a few were non binary but omg they were really nice it felt great.... I never knew this feel before... ._.
Woah someone else who played that game. You know what I found the most depressing?
The way Simon 3.0 spoke to Catherine after the satellite launched. He flipped at her in his anger and desperation and she died with no closure. And then Simon is alone in total darkness for all eternity. What makes it unbearable is that there will never be a chance for forgiveness, his selfish actions in those last moments will be all that he ponders over in unending stygian solitude.
That's pure horror.
Goodmorning! I've got a bit of a headache and I'm tired. How are you doing?
Yeah but Simon 4.0 is not the same "person".
Any suggestions for a feminine cut for approximately hairlength in pic related? Everything I've found required either longer hair (which I'm working on anyway but I don't want to wait) or much shorter hair (which I don't want to do for obvious reasons).
I listen to music and play videogames and pretend I'm not alone
tfw doing nothing but playing videogames all day long alone
I am almost glad I am mortal. And human.
There is tons of suffering in life. Daily suffering and emotional as well as physical pain. But there's happiness too.
If anything this game personally taught me that I should treat other people better than I do or at least try the best I can within my capacity to reach that goal.
4 years and counting. Gets really lonely sometimes. I hope I can make some friends when I go back to college, but knowing myself that'll just be something I dream about and never manage.
not really, they're expensive, I have a big 2hu pillow case tho
u should watch anime desu
yeh I guess, I got it like ages ago when I was on my import binge, most I never finished cos dysphoria & procrastenation bleh~
eh it sucks desu, I get to hear about everyone having orgies and experimenting w/ eachother and I'm like ... idk I might as well be alone in space on a mission to another solar system >__>;;
Clearly we should all play games or or watch anime together some time, so that way we can be together when we're being alone.
>tfw channing tatum passes better than you
That sucks, but try not to be angry at her; people generally can't help what they are attracted to and not. It's just unfortunate, like when a homosexual is attracted to a heterosexual of the same sex or a heterosexual is attracted to a homosexual of the opposite sex.
silly slutty bunny desu >///>
w-wow korra o.o;;
eh idk, kind of hard to believe in true love desu lol
it's just something ppl do like play act, u know like flirting
every relationship is "the one" to ppl like that but they're the quickest to end things and move onto the next lol
cheeky bunny is qt too
cos everyone is having sex ...... didn't u read??? >__>;;
>silly slutty bunny desu >///>
How can I be less self-conscious when it comes to miniskirts and skin-revealing clothing? I don't want to look like a catholic nun or a slut, but even just a skirt down to my knees feels all so very lewd. Just imagining if a sharp gust of wind were to hit... or what about if I were to walk up stairs while an attractive guy was following behind? Just thinking about it is getting me hot and bothered. Heck, just the breeziness from wearing a skirt is enough to manage that.
And what of these tops? Showing cleveage? Lewwwwwwwwwwwd!
yeh I don't think ppl really actually BELIEVE in it but are just optimistic
if you don't think you'll be able to spend the rest of ur life with them or don't love them then y date them o-o
>kind of hard to believe in true love desu lol
Kinda meant like orgies and 3ways would ruin a relationship I think
ruin mine at least l-lol
mayb I'm just not mature enough for it tho
>cos everyone is having sex ......
I wish desu
uhmm are you taking medication for your panic?
yayy glad ur having a good time <3
I think you'd get more used to them after wearing them for awhile ^^
ugh yeh idk, I guess ppl have relationships for different reasons like a positive energy boost, crutch, easy sex, loneliness, u know all sorts of reasons ...
also idk why play safe if it only leads to nothing ever working out
idk like I think she had gf's before but who knows mebbe she likes way guys more
>bullshiting on YouTube
>hear the intro song to Tekken 4 (anyone remember that game)
>watch the opening amv
>remember TWELVE YEARS ago I'd mimick Anna's kiss right before she launches her rpg
>also remember how bad I wanted to look like the girl on the bike
Here's the video:
TL;DR Repression is a mother fucker
Is the skirt okay? Too long? Too short? Are my legs okay or maleish?
Wearing tights since my legs are still being lasered.
>orders a ton of cheese fries, chicken strips and a cheeseburger for dinner
current mood is pic related and this song i'm listening to rn tbqh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYtKL_bLWsA
what are you up to mtfg? how has your weekend been?
Yeh I agree it's just not for me I think
hope it works for other ppl tho
>I guess ppl have relationships for different reasons
mhm I just wish ppl didn't lie about what they're intentions were
Like if they wanna have a casual relationship and not put too much effort into it they shouldn't say "Oh I love you I wanna spend every minute with you"
idk ppl are dumb rofl
>why play safe if it only leads to nothing ever working out
it'll work out someday ;~;
idk I guess but
she could have also changed her likes
and like guys 98% more than girls now
I'm not rlly a fan of it but idk
what kinda material is it?
> legs look good
R-really? I worry about everything. Do they honest-to-God look good?
But yeah, I'll probably wear tights only in late autumn, winter, and early spring.
The skirt or the leggings? Regardless, I can see what you mean about the skirt. It was a gift, but it's serviceable and I think I can make it work with a couple outfits. Sadly I don't have complete outfits yet, just fragments. Slowly but surely.
I agree. Any suggestions on skirts for that matter? I kinda prefer shorter skirts, so this is probably as long as I get.
Thank you anon! It means alot c: I'm actually p pale its just the lighting there. Pic related is my actual skin colour
i've been working all weekend, so... idk. i never said it was any different, i asked how it's been lmao
Any tips for swallowing Progesterone? The pills are so big they're hard to get down
First time poster, just really getting started. Pre everything. How is my start?
well ... idk if they're lying but yeh, things don't add up sometimes huh
but like it's probs more enjoyable to just play around than expect anything else I feel like or u just get let down
Haha, I can't really offer many suggestions :B I've only got the one myself and it was also a gift lol.
Your legs are so much nicer than mine... damnit God.
Seriously, those are flawless legs. Your thighs and calves flow seamlessly together with a small, feminine joint.
Contrast to mine where you have an ugly joint larger than the thigh which distracts from the optimal curvature of the leg.
I've heard some people say you're supposed to wait a while before starting progesterone. My doctor gave it to me right away, along with high dosages of everything it seems.
>finally get all settled in and everything unpacked
>this 6' 3" bald, muscled, tattooed gangster looking man whistles at me
>he whistles at me again
>slowly turn to look
>holds up a pair of xxxl men's pants to his waist and says "some fucking huge pants huh"
This place is so weird.
You do pull off a pretty good Korra there
I don't remember any special guidelines for it, just once a night along with the rest of my mones.
>TFW you pass enough for restaurant servers call you "ma'm" but you haven't changed your ID yet, so when you want to order alcohol you break the whole thing and they call you "sir" the rest of the night.
You girls keep scaring me about this stuff lol. I don't know if it's too soon but I feel like they're helping my mood a bit. I was feeling pretty cruddy before this dose and now I'm lifted up again. We'll see, this is only dose 3 after all.
Lies! Lies and slander! If they're nice, what, precisely is nice about them?
I'm kinda paranoid about empty praise, given how much delusional hugboxing goes around in trans communities.
Yum. (Probably not that kind of party or this kind of mushroom?)
>at casino entrance
>security asks for ID
>give it to them
>they say its not mine and refuse to give it back
>they ask me to leave and they'll mail my ID back to my house thru the state police
Welp, I guess this means I look justjust slightly less masculine. But it still sucks not having my ID. I had to call the police and now I'm waiting on them.
You pass rly good :O
>Get stopped while driving one time
>Cop doesn't think my ID is me and calls over and cop to check it
>Takes like 10 minutes to convince them
Old ID's are hell, I at least have an updated photo on mine now even if the name and gender is still wrong lol.
Uhmm fills your breast out supposedly
no real evidence to back it up though
>then u don't and ur totally let down, now what???
then u get really l-lol
uhmm talk it out with them I think
see if you two could compromise or smthing
>it's better to just say screw it and play around desu
I guess if that's what u want ;~;
The day is almost over, sweetie. Tomorrow will be better.
S-statistically speaking they are maybe correct but my best friend has been together with her husband for like 10 years and that was her first too so maybe you'll be with them forever!
I agree with the focus on the now point a lot tho.
>I agree with the focus on the now point a lot tho
I do too, I'm trying but I'm irrational and anxious as fuck so it's hard
>Is there any reason he'd leave?
I'm trans, depressed and a NEET. I'm surprised he's held out so long. I've just had a huge realisation that our lives aren't compatible and I need to sort my shit out or I'll lose the only person I've ever cared about.
waiting for hrt progress
waiting for laser kit
wanting to get eyebrows done but no time
wanting to get new glasses
wanting to start corset training
a whole bunch of stuff that i want to get done but haven't had the time
idk just generally crappy
Morning everyone, hows laifu today?
Thats sounds like such a toxic relationship
But atleast you two speak your mind out loud .
well that's the thing, u want to talk it out but they don't, tone of conversation is like u were never dating and they'll never consider anything w/ u in their entire life
try and talk it out and they shut u out and before u know it they're onto the next big thing, that's just how relationships are idk
seems like ppl who just mess around and have casual hookups end up the happiest desu
close to 4 months now
i still haven't seen much muscle atrophy which makes me feel uncomfortable
all i've really seen change is my eyes mostly, a cup bobs, slightly softer skin, my hair is more wavy or something, my body hair grows a lot slower
idk like i'm not giving up but i hate this inbetween period
>all these people out having lives and having fun on a Saturday night
>im just sitting here infront of my computer like I have been for the past decade.
Why don't I just end it already?
they're out, touching eachother and ppl are buying them things like drinks and stuff ... they're laughing and getting drunk w/ their friends
they'll all be having sex and taking turns toping eachother and being totally agp while mtfg sits infront of her computer in frustration
>tfw went to a date wearing a starcraft t-shirt repping my mad nerd swag
Can I pull off a nerdyish girl look?
:s that doesn't like a healthy relationship
if you can't talk abt it what's the point ??
>that's just how relationships are idk
it hasn't been my experience but I haven't been in that many
idk am sorry yours haven't sounded the best ; _ ;
I hope you can find some1 who'll be on the same page as u
>ppl who just have casual hookups end up the happiest
mayb but I think they get fulfilled in a differently
like in a more physical less romantic way
> I'm trans, depressed and a NEET. I'm surprised he's held out so long. I've just had a huge realisation that our lives aren't compatible and I need to sort my shit out or I'll lose the only person I've ever cared about.
Solution: Be a housewife. Nothing wrong with making your bf smile with home-cooked lunches and dinners, while keeping the place nice and tidy for him by doing the chores. Heck, most guys would probably like it more than the alternative.
If trans people were a protected class I think she'd have a legal case to make; I don't think it is, unfortunately, and I'm pretty sure she's being given shit because she's trans and not her race so I don't think being part of that protected class would change things. Oh well, legal battles are a pain in the ass anyways, it wouldn't be worth it most likely.
That isn't that surprising, really. I've met many guys who faked being into games and I could see right through their crap.
I miss playing starcraft when all my friends were huge players as well. So much fun was had with my friends. Too bad blizzard murdered the game with their poor design philosphy and made TvP a measure of mental fortitude
Hes a transman and super into fitness so hes not really the video game type or had the background. I didn't mind explaining it to him. He seems to enjoy listening to me talk about things im passionate about.
Our next date I'm taking him to my rock climbing gym and we're gonna get all sweaty and tired and then go see a movie after. Can't wait!!!!
This is the second transman I've dated. I like it personally cause I like men and I like the shared background and understanding of dysphoria.
Only thing that sucks is i'm 8 inches taller than him :/
> Started HRT a year ago.
> Six months ago didn't see much in the way of body hair changes.
> Look now.
> Can barely see any hair whatsoever and most of what's around are thin ones that are unnoticeable unless your head is up against my stomach.
What the fuck happened? I didn't even notice it changing from A to B. I just noticed it changed one day - it's really bizarre. Only done cursory lasering in that area, but that was a while ago anyway (slowly going through electrolysis now, face first)
Who? I don't keep track of tripfags.
Facial hair is still around, but it's being battled with the might electric pen. Going to be another few months before that's totally cleared up and we can move onto my chest.
I couldnt do it
I would want to feel him press his erect dick into me while we are spooning and I wouldn't want to have to give him dysphoria over my junk or have him give me dysphoria over his junk and also I wouldn't want to be infront of a boy like that without a vagina
I mean thats pretty vanilla. We've already talked about stuff we like and kink is way more important than our genitals.
Nothing like being choked, ropes, and powerplay to have fun :p
Why is it when I look at my phone cam I look like I could be somewhat attractive but when I look in the mirror I find myself repulsive?
Honestly, I'm of two minds here.
On one end, I love certain kinks from a purely physical perspective and it turns me on like no other.
On the other, I also kind of want an innocent budding relationship with slow escalation with lots of missionary position and love.
I think I'd prefer the latter, but the former is easier to find. Both would be unheard of.
Idk I have a much harder time finding kinky people. From my perspective when a guy has his hands around your neck and is pressing down, you trust him more than anybody in the world.
He could easily just keep on going and watch the life fade from you, but he doesn't.
that sounds so weird, i've heard people hate photos of themselves but deal with the mirror image better.
i find both the same, but like once you take a picture with you phone of the mirror you are standing in front of, i think it looks soo awful
alsooo, try this: flip the picture you just took facing to the other direction
it looks hideous and weird, but its still you right?
A lot of people here are into being choked and I just want a super soft relationship that has plenty of head pats...
To think that right now that there confused little kids or babies that will grow up in a more accepting world and by the time they're my age they would have been on hrt since they were 12 or so. I envy them. I was born too early and too late for everything.
i can just imagine being fucked while a guy is choking me and i forget to use the safe work because i'm noo busy enjoying the orgasum and it feels so awesome and i lose consciousness and die.
sign me the fuck up.
>I just want a super soft relationship that has plenty of head pats...
iktf, difference being that for you it's all in your head trust me in a year or so you'll be passing and I'll make it into the big book of British Hons
Why do you guy attack me for being overweight? i'm literally doing my best. sure i can be doing more but i'm also lazy. making me feel bad about my body is not helping.
try being nicer. let's talk about positive ways to inspire each other instead of being assholes.
>pick up FFXIII cuz I'm bored
>lightning is physically abusive
>snow tries to be alpha despite this
>vanille is an annoying brat
>hope is a whiny trans in denial femboy
What am I even playing
People respond to shitposting way too much in this general. That's why mtfs are so targeted here. Y'all respond more than any other demographic. If we stopped giving a fuck and gave the shitposters no attention, they'd go away.
Which brings me to my next point. I know they're viciously mean, but who cares about them? Why should you give any weight to what someone who's only here to hurt you says? Don't care about them, because they don't care about you. They don't even know anything about you. They pull whatever they can out of their ass that they think will get a response.
I agree we should be nicer, but we also need to be smarter. We can try to drown out the negativity, but at the same time the negativity can't be listened to if we ever want to not hear it.
You can watch me post about you in the thread, IN REAL TIME
morning mtfg, what's up? music anyone?
i just saw this moth the other day on a wall while at the store, it was friggin huge like the size of a silver dollar. freaked me out too @.@ i dont like bug
>"Play CSGO with me Grace"
>finally cave in
>"I don't feel like playing CSGO anymore you can go to bed"
Y'all are lucky I'm dating Kiwi 'cause I think I'm the only one with the patience for her.
Goodmorning! I'm either about to go to bed or play with Kiwi, whatever her little head decides.
Jeeez that's a scary moth, I'd have to like bundle up so it doesn't touch me and then like kill it with a bat.
i just bought this shirt and i want to do a photoshoot with it while i drink milk and wear black hair extensions down to my ass. is this a good or a bad idea do u think?
I really wanted to kill it but it was in a public place and it kind of scared the heck out of me to be honest, it was huge
that sounds fun :3 playing games in bed though, sounds even funner
idk who kiwi is either lol but congrats on your cutely indecisive sounding gf
>I can hear myself echoing in her mic
She's always a cutiepie and of all the frustrating things I could deal with, this is kind of adorable listening to her be so indecisive.
STILL IM TIRED AND I WANNA KNOW IF I CAN SLEEP
We're gonna do a game of CSGO comp
Well if it was in a public place that's better because braver people can take care of it for you!
IM GONNA BUILD A FLY SWATTER
Kiwi is a trip here, you'll see her post sometimes. Thank you though~
i was at the grocery store and i walked by it and nearly screamed and dropped all my stuff! it was fucking huge, like HUGE. biggest bug ive ever seen, i was soooo tempted to stomp on it but soo afraid. it looked indestructable
>we get a deranker and a drunk guy as teammates
It's very unpleasant and makes me wonder how people think I sound cute or have any chance at a passing voice.
I like that song
Yeah like I do not like bugs at all so I feel you that would have not been fun.
Thanks, might go buy it!
YOU CAN TRY
>have any chance at a passing voice.
when I hear myself I can only describe it as Australian white trash that swallowed an ashray and gravel, the only way mt voice will ever pass is if I go mute
>it bleeds so much and stains everything you own
one of my old friends she dyed her hair pillarbox and wildfire and now everything she owns that was white is now pink, I've seen the damage you're describing. It's a shame because I'd love to have hair that colour once in a while but not at the cost of most of what I own
yeaaaaaah lmao pillarbox is a bitch too. it's really shitty, i wish there was a way to prevent it, but the molecules are too small to stay in the hair follicles so it just spills out. same with blue and a lot of other colors. honestly the only color that didn't ruin everything i own that i've ever had was this one.
you don't. what's wrong?
the most painless way to go would be to use a helium mask but pure heliun is pretty difficult to find nowadays, they just dilute it with oxygen without telling you.
Well you probably don't want to wait while you still have the motivation to end yourself so I'd reccomend you use the classic noose. I'd reccomend tying the loop on both ends and use one end to make sure the rope doesn't slip, nothing is more demoralizing than failing to kill yourself!
Also if you care about your appearance after you die for whatever reason or wish to die looking dignified you should wear an adult diaper (your bowel muscles release after death) and call someone to visit you 2-3 hours after you hung yourself. Fun fact: you look like a blow up sex doll weeks after death!
I wish you good luck!
Look at all those people in the room who would want to see you naked, oddish.
woah thats super cute but hella expensive, t-take photos when you get it I wanna see how cute u r.
A-and yeah I'm going to get it... I'm pretty sure medium is the right size for me hope I didn't fuck up..
>woah thats super cute but hella expensive
I'm cursed with a love for expensive things, watches, glasses, pinup fashion I like J-fashion but it doesn't suit me though
> I'm pretty sure medium is the right size for me hope I didn't fuck up..
check the sizing guide to be certain, if you're really unsure get a size larger and if it's too big get it tailored down.
my hair is like a golden brown dirty blonde, it's not very noticeable till it gets some length
She's a fireball, its kinda my fault for not telling her I was trans when we started going out though, I was just a pretty boy with D cups.
I dunno, her parents called today and mentioned everyone who is having babies that they know, and she accidentally said she was hanging with [my girl name] to them. She's probably under a lot of stress not being able to tell anyone about me or what it means if she stays with me
>Kiwi keeps reading me copypasta
>try to go to bed
>she begs me to let her read me one more
I want her to narrate my shitposts from now on.
Asexuality, ladies and fedoralords.
>tfw no dead ebony qt's feet to rape while her deceased husband watches
I am an asexual btw.
i haven't read a smut or got off in 2 months. it's so rare that i feel the need to get off, and i don't feel a need to have sex - in fact i'm terrified of others wanting to have sex with me and i have basically ignored people asking me out on dates because they probably just wanted sex. not that any of this is going to stop you from irrationally attacking me. w/e.
well i mean you could cam! it's just that if it's not something you like doing you're going to regret it a lot lol
ohhhhh ok! that sounds prettttty. i wish i had that. my hair is jet black naturally and i dye it every shade on earth. altho i'm going back to my natural shade soon.
i don't think i would enjoy it no. and yea i might regret it. but i need money. i walk six miles to work and then six miles back. i'm barely making enough for rent. i'm just sorta all around fucked.
I kinda wish I had black hair sometimes just to coordinate purple glasses better.
I'm hoping my hair looks nice, at the length it is now I'm starting to see it and on the top under bright enough light. I've never had long hair before, my upbringing was always short back and sides dad cuts because one day I'll be "a father of my parents grandchildren"