/brit/

brother just got into the shower for work

>>53758378
haram

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Drake

>>53758378
get in with him

she sees my good deeedds annnnnnd
she kisses me loooooovelyyyyyy

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SHHHHHAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

>>53758385
>I could turn your boy into a man
What did he mean by this?

>>53758407
Birmingham mentioned

>>53758408
let me ask him and ill get back to u

i don't like this thread very much

>>53758430
ok thanks

>>53758434
ok sorry

>>53758408
He wants to raise his wife's son to be a strong man.

Business idea: Sign people up for life insurance and then kill them

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why is everyone so scared of this tiny country haha

Need a cute twinks smelly sweaty feet on my face desu

some yank is going mad and calling me a little bitch on fifa
don't have a mic to reply though
>>53758467
poor banter

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>tfw too tired not to be upset by things i read on 4chan
>tfw nothing else to do anyway so stay and be miserable

Business idea: contract AIDs, seduce people, and as you're about to cum, show them your test result and threaten to ejaculate inside them unless they pay you

>>53758484
always taking donations

really want to explore australia desu. the tropical north, the temperate far south (and some coastal parts) and the hot desert middle. the place is literally fascinating

>>53758498
u can explore my arsehole if u want lad

>>53758475
lmao there's some turbo dac-rocker at my work who is like the biggest steryotype
refuses to listen to ANYTHING remotely modern or "different" from his pleb tier classic rock.
also Tool

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>really want to explore australia desu. the tropical north, the temperate far south (and some coastal parts) and the hot desert middle. the place is literally fascinating

brendan fraser

business idea: get a load of syringes full of AIDS and walk round birmingham city centre injecting all the pakis

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>science trumps religion edition

https://www.instagram.com/p/BApq_-8ML6u/?taken-by=50cent
very interesting image desu

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>>53758498
I'd like to ride an ATV around the desert there
but its too expensive

been to Nevada though, and the sub-tropics of the US

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Corbyn's at it again lads

>>53758537
*invests heavily*

>>53758537
then they'll infect all the white children they rape

Been actively trying to get a gf for about 4 months lads

It has not worked

http://vocaroo.com/i/s10D4J5rZmTb

Guess where I am from lads. Bet you can't.

>>53758558
ur probably some twat desu

>>53758565
uk

>>53758565
Some fucking shithole in the North East

>>53758571
Didn't you fuck off back to /r9k/ after I bytfo lol

>>53758351
Neil dgrass tison>>>newton> einstein

Am i right?

>>53758498
You'd get lots of hidings for being a poof though

Go to Canada instead

>>53758581
cry more about how girls ignore you lmao

>>53758582
fuck off yank

Business idea: shit and piss in women's knickers and sell them to pervert's online pretending to be a qt

>>53758565

Some gay shithole

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>>53758585
not much (hot) desert or tropics here,
Badlands I guess are close

the US has plenty though

>>53758582
literally backwards

>>53758595
A lot of them don't

The last few of them have been interested in me but then when I start talking to them their interests starts to fade haha

Business idea: rent out my tight, sweet hairless boipucci on Adultwork for 100 quid an hour

http://strawpoll.me/6572199
http://strawpoll.me/6572199
http://strawpoll.me/6572199
http://strawpoll.me/6572199

>>53758565
pakistan

>>53758645
*invests £100*

>>53758574
Yes

>>53758576
Yes

>>53758605
Nah

>>53758658
No, we don't really have any Pakis here. More Chinese and Poles.

>>53758645
*invests 100 plus tip*

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Marina Lambrini Diamandis

You lads ever watch that show 'Fresh Meat'?

its 420 haha

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literally just vomited

>>53758625
Obviously i was just joking but there is no way einstein>newton , newton was einsteins fucking idol anon.

>>53758673
>>53758688
Quite happy with this

redpill me on women

>>53758738
Boobs n butts

>>53758714
5:23 here lad

>>53758738
every woman is a queen

>>53758738
Women are the niggers of gender.

>>53758715
FUCK
OFF

>>53758750
mate its 4:23 what are you on about

>>53758738
smell

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippe_Servaty

Just reading about this #Lad.

>>53758765
>>53758771
WE WUZ QUEENS N SHIET

>>53758408
Sounds sexual

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want a darkie gf for slave roleplaying
>>53758778
GMT not BST

why are yanks so insistent of
>muh heritage

it's killing me

>>53758798
she's got a shitty weave but good chebs

>>53758815

because you forgot to turn your proxy on

>>53758815
my dad is muh heritage desu

>>53758815
isn't that the reason you're here
and it's because they're ashamed and deep down realise all of the >muh freedoms is fake bullshit and want to be part of something good

is that bow legged whore here

>>53758833
>>53758847
This yank in my vent is like, "yeah im not even really american, you know I'm mostly British"

.....MOSTLY.......BRITISH..............

>>53758715
looks like a witches nose

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>my vent

>>53758868
have you even set foot on british soil

might do a cheeky suicide

>>53758907
it literally is

>>53758909
but what does he mean mostly british

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>in my vent

why are people so obsessed with being from ireland too? ireland is fucking shit isnt it?

Getting weird headaches and stuff, pretty sure I'm about to have a stroke XD

>>53758909
Yeah if my "foot" you mean my weewee and by "British soil" you mean your mums box haha live, laugh, love

>it's already 2016 and i've done fuck all with my life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo1zLJRgajc

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>"Anon, i'm so fucking wasted aha"
>"Mind if I crash at your house? I'll pass out right when I get there so I won't be much of a bother ahaha"
what do

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>it literally is

>>53758798
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAlQzlkm0GU

>spent 4 years in my room masturbating so much my rooms default smell is now cum

>>53758351
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2617938/Revealed-How-parts-Britain-poorer-POLAND-families-Wales-Cornwall-Europes-worst-off.html
Is it legit?

doing a poo

>>53759024
Proofs

>>53758645
*invests 300 quid for round 2 and 3* :^)

>>53758939
you've baffled me
what did you mean by in my vent
>>53758942
everyone here loves a bit of irish muh heritage, myself included
lots of plastic paddys about on paddys day

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>>53759055
This guy in my ventrilio, says that he isn't american he's mostly british, which triggers me so i posted

>>53758815

in anger

>>53759039
>Thinking I'd charge my bf
hehe, don't be silly :3

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any spare willies in this area

>>53759086
lol

My grandma was amish ama

>>53759132
what was your grandma

>>53759107
Bit gay

>>53759144
she was a human bean

>>53759146
don't even like willies but lately i just can't restrain myself from bent shitposting
bit worrying really

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All I want in life's a little bit of love to take the pain away

>>53759188
New study shows memes make u gay

>>53759188
*repeatedly rams my cock into your mouth*
*cums*

aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes

Just imagining a fat nob up me shitter makes me harder than a gypsy boxer

desu im not gay but i wouldnt mind atleast once sucking a dick and taking it in the ass

im not gay though

might kill myself

>>53759224
*smiles*

thoughts?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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The day America beat the Soviets

>>53759256
same

>>53759256
pls be in texas

I'm about to get excessively comfy lads
excessively.

Unironically lost my virginity when I was 15 to a bloke in his 40s.

>>53759275
sorry im in australia mate

>>53759287
Hope you slip into a coma haha

>>53759312
I did the same thing but ironically

>>53759312
slag

>>53759313
oh ok sorry

>>53759312
one of my old school mates has been whoring himself out to old men since he was like 16 and he didnt tell anybody until late last year

these Wasabi peas are a bit gross ahaha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6rfv5Pb6R4


Willing to be someone's American boy, 2bh lads

might unironically shave my head

>>53759332
wew. that is honestly my fantasy. did he make a lot of money?

the most attractive thing in the world to me is women's feet. i couldn't have sex with a woman if her feet weren't arousing to me. im 22.

>>53759373
he said $350-500 for a fuck which is probably pretty good

>all the slags in this thread

baka

I only come out when the sky gets dark, in the night time
We get shark-like, when it's the right time
I run around town scalping old folks for butter knives
No regards for nothing, we all up on the gutter life
I keep it on the down low, just like a terrorist
Planning out the illest shit but always keep it errorless

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>>53759384
I for one prefer the boobies

>>53759386
fucking hell, wish i'd done that.

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me on the right

>>53759314
Hope I slip into ur mum haha

>>53759418
i should have done it but with women instead of men

>>53759418
Are you a cute twink

if cute FONT

>>53759367
up the skins

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>>53759367
get a number 2 for that heroin-core look

>>>/lit/7590716
prime fedora material here

>>53758868
whats ur vent ip

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>>53759439
I WAS

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going to do a sleep

move like a freakkk mr saxobeat

>>53759487
kind of wish i'd taken lots of nudes of myself before I hit puberty as I was a randy bugger back then and had a nice hairless arse and a tiny willy and a girly haircut


could sell them even today, it's not cp if its yourself??

So it turns out the girl I was going on a date with has been on dates with 30 guys. That includes middle school bullshit. She's now super pissed at me

Doing a banterpost

playing a runescape

kinda wish i was gay just so i could fulfill my sexual needs and desires a lot easier

all these benders have to do is go on grindr send a couple messgaes and they're getting shagged up the arse within an hour

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Told this girl we're going out latter this week and got her number but I'm not going to msg her for a few days to get her sweating

>>53759487
Why aren't you now

>>53759547
at least a good majority of the "gays" here are like this

>>53759483
You don't want to come here right now.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1org8FYrIKL

>>53759571
Let me in so I can banter the yank out of them

broke up with longtime gf today lads

feels a bit strange knowing that it's over

>>53759571
sing me a bedtime lullaby

>>53759547
>grindr

All old men desu

>try using a dildo on my butt
>blood and shit everywhere
>don't even cum
trying again tonight hopefully there's less mess

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>people blame the Jews for capitalism/usury growing to dominate Northern Europe when in reality it was the Calvinists

>>53759593
make a throwaway e-mail and i will

Oh shit, I'm sorry!
Sorry for what? Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks. Especially since they're such good size and all.
Yeah, I see that. Your daddy gave you good advice.
It gets bigger when I pull on it.
Mmm...
Sometimes, I pull on it so hard... I rip the skin.
Well, my daddy taught me a few things too, like how not to rip the skin by using someone else's mouth instead of your own hands.
Will you show me?
I'd be right happy to!

>>53759619
[email protected]

hmu

mum told me to get a job or go to tafe lmaoo

gonna try to get a job without any experience or skills ahahaha!!!

>>53759312
storytime

>>53759515
I had nudes of myself when I was like 16 on my gmail that I sent to middle aged men, pretty sure it is illegal to have them tho
>>53759565
Because I'm 22 and hairy and not as skinny and lithe :((

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WELL YOU CAN TELL EVERYONE I'M A DOWN DISGRACE
DRAG MY NAME ALL OVER THE PLACE

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE

having a go

>>53759659
nonce

>>53759571

What's this vent for?

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Went hillwalking when it snowed lads.

if i could wish for 1 thing it would be for all canadians to die

>>53759617
alex pls

I am not that guy talking about yanks, but I have personally set foot on British soil.

might employ a gf
send in your CVs

>>53759702
kill yourself

>>53759702
barely any snow

>>53759704
crikey

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>A war veteran sells matches on the street, in Canterbury, Kent. England - Circa. 1930


What would he think of his country now?

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real early bird hours

who tf just woke up

>>53759723
what's wrong m8
did opening that image take you over your bandwidth limit?

>>53759723

I'll be shaggin yer nan in hell m8

>>53759697
memes

>>53759593
hf

*honks*

saw a thread last night where a new zealander said that if u bathe more than once a day u lose some essential oils or some shit from ur skin so today i havent showered yet

>>53759769
can't get a word in edgeways

>>53759756

Haven't even gone to sleep yet fookin ell

>>53759659
>Because I'm 22 and hairy and not as skinny and lithe :((

Still love you haha x

pretending my cupped hand is infact a girls vagina

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>qt girl in primary school told her how her dad used to torture her and beat her up with his mates on Friday nights and she was scared to go home
>realise now she probably wanted me to invite her to mine
>I just told her to stop talking about it to me

>>53759793
you've gotta shout, turn your mic up

>>53759785
Who showers more than once a day? Unless after the gym or something

>>53759651
>Posted an advert on Gumtree (when they allowed sex ads) saying I was a "horny teen" or something similar
>Got loads of emails from guys with cock pics
>Chatted back and forth with them about what I wanted to do
>Told them all I was 16 and legal (I was a few months off tbf)
>Agreed to meet this one guy with a pretty big dick to suck him off, he was nearby
>VIVIDLY remember being in the shower getting myself clean before I left, shaving my pubes off, brushing my hair, putting on a nice pair of skinny jeans
>He picked me up at the end of the road and I was really nervous, I could barely speak to him
>He wasn't that attractive, like a 6/10, but he was tall and I knew he had a nice willy and he was older which was a turn on
>He makes me feel at ease and we drive to the carpark of a nearby forest where there were no cars
>Start rubbing his cock through his jeans, he's already hard
>Feel like I'm going to pass out
>He unzips his jeans and pulls down his boxers
>The most beautiful fucking cock I've ever seen before my eyes, like 8 inches long and nice and fat, nice thatch of pubes
>Slobber all over it like the inexperiened bender I was, catch my teeth on it a couple of times, wank him off whilst the head is in my mouth
>Really enjoying it, hearing him grunt and moan and stroke my hair
>He says he lives quite close by if I want to try getting fucked
>I'm so horny I say yes pretty much straight away
idk if anyone wants to hear the rest. he did take me back to his and do me up the bum though

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>>53759706
this post was predestined

>>53758476
Had my girlfriend's perfect, sweaty feet in my face yesterday. Shit was so good man.

>>53759820
i sometimes do desu
sometimes i like going into the shower just because its relaxing and i cant hear my parents fighting in there

>>53759807
> how her dad used to torture her and beat her up with his mates on Friday nights

you know she means they took turns on her fanny and mouth by this? she just didnt want to say, if they "beat her up" shed be black and blue with bruises la

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>>53759845
I hope it helps anon :)

>>53759807
Good lad

Last thing you need is for her to use you as a bin for her collective rubbish

>>53759865
thanks senpai

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>>53759847
Yeah I know la, just makes me feel worse

She said they would to tie her hands together with a belt and her hands went blue.

She wasn't bullshitting as well, she was about 9 years old.

>>53759828
>
on the cross

>>53759828
Wish I was a cute twink haha

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>>53759833
these dubs were predestined

death is the final unknown

ffs i was tlaking on mumble about virgin and my door is open dad probably heard me ffs

>>53759820
It's almost mandatory to do so during the summertime

Winter you can easily get away with a couple days of not showering

>>53759873
She was 9 you spastic.

>>53759828
got me semi erect 2bh

did you put your willy up his bumhole?

>>53759828
im not gay but i got a boner reading this

>>53759873
shut up edgelord

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>>53759828

>>53759918
Tell her to go to an alienist

>>53759895
It's pretty great tbf lmao
>>53759922
no, had no desire to do that whatsoever desu
>>53759932
thanks

>>53759828
also have a very big willy that i would allow you to suck on

mum thinks im depressed haha xox

she unironically told me to go see a psychologist rofl

i told her i'm not but i actually am XDD

>>53759939
I don't know her anymore, this all happened when I was in primary school, or kindergarten for you (?)

>>53759828
Post the rest

>>53759965
cool

>>53759904
it's a mess in here anyway, they're literally letting this cuck control them

>>53759986
thanks, i worked really hard on that tale.

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>>53759828
Predestined to be a bender
there but for the grace of G*d go we all

>>53759974
Shit m8 there was nothing you could've done for her at that age anyway

Probably would've right fucked you in the head to be her emotional outlet

gonna make a sandwich

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FTS2tdmyYM

>that chorus
are they right?

some guy on runescape did my gimmick without my permission i am fucking mad

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>>53760000
>mfw It was already decided

>the mayor of toronto is trying to be banterous on twitter and sending for meek mill
>canadian ''''politics''''

got hugged off a lesbonan the other day lads

working on a new gimmick lads

>>53760094
>taking politics seriously
lmaoing every lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVO8sUrs-Pw

>>53760000
noice

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>>53759952
>It's pretty great tbf lmao

doing a suicide

>BBC segment about increasing alcoholism amongst the over 50s
>guy says it started because he's lonely, isolated, had no friends and had a shitty job

These problems affect young people too, but nobody seems to care about that.

doing an alprazolam and a ciggie

>>53760160
except its worse when you get older

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WHY AM I SUCH A COWARD LADS?

>>53760160
That's because they expect you to outgrow it by the time you hit 30

>>53760172
Why is it worse? As shown by this segment, people notice these issues in older people and there is tailored support available for them.

I'm in my 20s, I'm expected to just be able to solve it myself.

>>53760190
what happened?

>>53759932
That's how it begins

>>53760229
DESIGNATED

>>53760205
its worse because imagine being like that for 30 more years

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going to post a random picture

Is being bummed Haram?

>>53760010
I'm fucked in the head anyway, at least I would have had some cute little preteen relationship.

>>53759984
>Went back to his
>He had quite a messy house
>Looking at pictures he had a wife and kids, or maybe used to but there was nobody else there
>He took me up to his room and started kissing me, which I didn't like that much
>Took our clothes off and I did enjoy his hairy chest against mine
>Went down to suck him off again
>Licked his balls and shaft all over
>Tried deepthroating it but way too big, gagged immediately
>Carried on for a little while then he motioned for me to stop and he went into his drawer
>He had lube and johnnies in there
>Told me to bend over
>Started rubbing lube on my arsehole
>Again couldn't believe this was actually happening and felt a bit faint
>Somehow felt really, really, really good, just him rubbing my bp
>He slipped a finger in, started moving it in and out, felt uncomfortable at first but then I got used to it
>Did the same but with two and three fingers
>Stung so I asked him to use more lube which he did
>Felt more comfortable
>He must have been doing it for a while and I was just bent over moaning little a little slut
>Then I heard him opening the condom, turned around and saw him rolling it on
>genuinely did nearly pass out again
>I about to take a dick up the arse, wew
>Felt the tip against my bp
>He put it in slowly
>He kept going until it was all in then pulled it out again
>Hurt even more coming out
>gasped out in pain
>He put more lube on and just carried on
>Still really hurt but less
>He started to go faster
>Didn't feel good at all
>He was getting faster, and after about 10 mins I didn't feel anything at all
>He tells me to lean upwards so my back is against his chest
>Suddenly it feels GOOD, his dick is suddenly hitting the right spot
>I actually start involuntarily moaning
>He's shagging me pretty hard now and moaning
>I guess I was turning him on because he came in the condom soon after that
>Lay on the bed breathless for a while as he got changed
>He dropped me off at my house later on

>>53760273
Not at all if you say "I was only pretending" after you're done.

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>>53760273
how can it be Haram when God predestined that you should be bummed?

>>53760295
dumb frogposter

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>how can it be Haram when God predestined that you should be bummed?

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>>53760384
your fedora post was predestined

>>53760384
dumb hatposter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgOF1jQbTns

>>53760295
tg;dr

>>53760447
thailad ur the gayest cunt of them all how can something be too gay for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItjjWECjD_M

dreaming about having a ford sierra and a late night delivery job so I can rake about the roads with no traffic with eurobeat playin

>>53760461
I'm never gay on Monday's lad

>>53760295
*jots down your flag in my "gayboys" notepad*

mmhm

>>53760483
who am i in your notepad

>>53760495
Storm

>>53760483
I'm not even gay anymore, I'm past that phase. I'm heteroflexible now.

So cross me out, please.

>>53760505
;_; oh come on

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>I'm not even gay anymore, I'm past that phase. I'm heteroflexible now.

>>53760557
predetermined post

>>53760522
*flips pencil round and rubs your name out*

>>53760495
bozz azz bitch

>>53760534
Every Califag is Storm now.. I'm sorry I don't make the rules, I just imagine them and say post them.

>>53759828
>>53760295
you gay?

>>53760554
na just pretending
;)

>>53760548
thanks :yy:

goodnight

>>53760616
bad day

>>53760622
you gay?

>>53760634
na mate just pretending
;)

did my microwave and kettle thing again lads. might start videoing it t b h

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b24_1453029476

>>53760647
haha just thought id check friend

>>53760661
*subscribes*

i watch anime dubbed.

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car won't start

>>53760724
kill yourself

>>53760746
why

>>53760758
cartoons are very serious

im not gonna kill myself because i watch anime dubbed wtf thats so extreme plus i dont speak fucking japanese what am i meant to do?

>>53760740
get someone to give you a push and bump start it

>>53760824
You've been chosen

>>53760806
battery's fine
turns over okay, just won't fire up

>>53760825
do u mind if i try out this gimmick?

>>53760840
distributor probably, that gives the spark to the spark plugs, not even the AA can help u now

>>53760896
It's already been decided friend

going to do it without ur permission desu

>>53760953
i reckon this post will suck

>>53760878
nope, getting a good spark

its only gay if youre the one being penetrated

if youre the penetratror then youre not gay

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nige

>>53760952
Kill yourself

just got 800 total level lads

>>53760952
Whoops haha not meant for you
Just failed with my oracular posting
>>53760983
Kill yourself

Fucking hell lids
Good morning
Cold out

>>53760941
fuel pump? every time you turn your car on and off if u listen carefully you should hear a whirring noise from the back seat

>>53760983
I've gone and done it now
>>53761047
Bender

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>>53760955
>...and then i said haha nice seat you wanker
>haha great post boz you're are getting a raise

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>>53760983
>>>53760983
>Kill yourself

>>53758351
dumb nigger

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@53761047

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Having breakfast at 6pm lads

>>53761058
rorke

>>53761099
Fuck off

>>53761146
Gay cunt

>>53761236
fucking twat

>>53761237
You're going to die tomorrow

>>53761333
Rasheed

>>53761235
fuck off by 1

>>53761081

nice mug you bender

>>53761277
>Off by one
Because you were not chosen

>>53761290
gay cunt

>>53761334
Euros are posting too fast

I've got a black ski mask but I don't ski

>>53761342
Gas yourself

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I'd rather drowned in misery,
than come to new south wales

>>53761348
that can be arranged

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>>53761369
NSW meme state

Our ship was high upon the seas when pirates came along,

But the soldiers on our convict ship were full five hundred strong;

They opened fire and so they drove that pirate ship away

But I'd rather joined that pirate ship than gone to Botany Bay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCswZhKtznI

Why am I even awake at this cunting time baka

>>53761280
it actually is since the wall of the mug is hollow and therefore doesn't get hot

>>53761431
*smashes your mug on the ground*
oops

>>53761450
*little do you realise it's plastic so it just bounces off the ground*

heh ... amateur hour aye?

>>53761460
*throws your mug in the fireplace*
oops

feel like my bum is gonna spew hot gravy and i have to go to job centre soon ffs

>>53761460
*jumps on it with boots on*

oops