Vampire General.

Be no wampirs here no, them left

YES, I'm a vampire and I use 4chan. NO, I will not turn you.

If you want to talk with me:

1. Don't treat me differently than any other anon. Just because I am an immortal mythical being doesn't mean I'm special, although compliments are nice :>

2. No jokes please! I know you probably don't mean anything by it but when i get nervous I tend to behead virgins suddenly. hehe~

3. Do not add me without permission! I know you probably don't get out much, and nosferatu
might seem like a rarity to you... but I have to many familiars as it is!


Oh and, don't hit on me you silly mortals <3

>>18854695
Fuck off.
Vampires can't speak, let alone type.
Feral beasts, like skinwalkers.

>>18855181
do vampires have fingers similar to humans or fingers similar to bats?

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>>18855181
>crazy, stupid and feral monsters
>yet they are able to hide for centuries from the sight of humanity (or 99%) to this modern day

are you sometimes in pain because youre this retarded?

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Vampire book list:
>The Vampire: A Casebook - Alan Dundes
>Interview with the Vampire - Anne Rice
>Vampires & Vampirism - Montague Summers
>The Vampire: The Encyclopedia - Matthew E. Bunson
>Vampires, Burial, and Death - Paul Barber
>Vittorio the Vampire - Anne Rice
Of course, the classic
>Dracula

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMjI51tY8kY

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>>18855293
Báthory one of my favorites from history, vampire or not.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlnJws14boM

I lost a really nice silk scarf in about 1912

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>>18855265
Better quality

I want to become a vampire so I can be immortal as well as be a part of a super cool secret underground society, if they have one of those.

Where do I get the succ at?

>>18855401
https://www.craigslist.org/

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>>18855170
ayy bby you wan sum fuk? hmu

>>18855955

ASL?

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>>18856070
12/f/japari park

>>18856094
Too old.

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Just a shout out to the nigga who posted this in a recent vampire related thread and introduced me to some lovely shit.
Also bumping for at least more art

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>>18854695
>no fedoras
>vampire thread

How do I get vampire gf

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>>18856802

>tfw no vampire gf

Just finished I Am Vampire by Daniel Hamilton. Some nicely fucked up ideas.

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>tfw these threads are dead without the strategic shitposting squad

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>>18857203
you wanna go pal?

>>18855314
>Vampire Painting
That's not a vampire painting; that's a scene from Dante's Inferno.

>>18855324
That's also nothing to do with vampires unless you count incubi as vampires (it's more about nightmares).

>>18856814
I always knew George Bush Jr. was a dog.

>>18856892
That looks more like Benjamin Franklin sucking his wife's tits

>>18857242
I did my best, boss

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>>18857234
of course

please make any comment about vampires either not being real or that youre a vampire yourself so i can start throwing insults around and posting smug anime faces

I doubt anyone will believe me but here goes.

Yeah, I'm a vampire. No, we're not immortal, our bodies are organic biological machines, just like your bodies.

Perks
>Youthful looking
>Heal quicker
>Endless charisma
>10/10 looks
>Quick wit and intelligence
>Random athletic abilities without training

There's more that I am not remembering.

Cons
>Sunshine gives you a headache and makes your eyes water consistently. sometimes even with sunglasses.
>If you're not feeding you will get sick and take forever to get well

Not sure how to classify this one but also
>People typically either adore you or despise you

Feel free to ask me stuff

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>>18857250
vampires? more like niggas wasting their immortality, baka if I was immortal I'd shit on humans for destroying the earth, you know what I'm sayin?

>>18857258
>No, we're not immortal

stopped there

>>18857258
Ok first question, how to?
In fact, make a wikihow on it.

>>18857258
HERE HE COMES the "im a special snowflake" vampire from tumblr get the fuck real

could you maybe show us your beautiful 10/10 looks?

i just want to give a GENTLE reminder that the last time some fag was in this thread arguing for hours that he is a vampire (not a turned on, no.. he awakened or something)

he kept talking and arguing for his case, also claimed that he had super fast reflexes, but the MOMENT that was put to the test with one of the reflex sites he disappeared and was never seen again

hmm

>>18857292
Yeah, but to be fair, the faggot could suck cock well enough.

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>>18855265
I realize the artist is Edvard Munch, but it's hard not to take that filename as a guy named Ed being munched on.

>>18857279
You'd have to find another vampire willing to turn you. That's easier said than done. We've gotten pickier as a group. Just because being a vampire gives us superior intelligence, in general, it seems that it just makes idiots more righteously idiotic and gives them a superiority complex. It sucks, we've had to get together and off some of these assholes. Twice we've also had to off whoever turned them because they were being belligerent.

>>18857278
sorry to disappoint, we're cool but not that cool I guess

>>18857287
I'm a different person, I'm a 25 year old girl.
I won't show my face because that'd be stupid.

>>18857292
Reflex site? show me! That said, we don't have superhuman reflexes or anything. We do tend to be very good at video games and sensing danger in general though.

>>18857327
>It sucks
That's the point, Count Cockula.

>>18857327
>inb4 she went to sleep
>She's in North America
It's fuckin' night time, girl. Don't tell me that you went to sleep now.

>>18857360
Still here, feel free to ask any questions. I'll be up for quite a while.

>>18855208
Or maybe they just don't exist. Come on man.

>>18857265
If you were immortal, you'd be thinking in time frames of decades or centuries. Earth undergoes constant change, some extra carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and concrete on the ground are temporary features. You might be concerned that your food supply wasn't as tasty thanks to bad diets, but that would be kind of shallow. No, if you were concerned about human issues, they'd be things like nuclear proliferation (which could kill you) and the rise of the surveillance state (if nobody can hide, that includes you).

>>18857378
Oh, I should have mentioned how humans are constantly destroying pieces of history and entire animal species, not just environmental change. If I had immortality, I'd try to put it to good use and at least try to preserve history or organisms.

>>18857385
my point is, if vampires were real, why haven't they intervened if they're more powerful than us'

>>18857378
Vampire anon girl here. We are very worried about the rise of the surveillance state, especially here in the USA. It does help that most lower branches of government tend to have a good chunk of vamps working for them.

Again though, we're not immortal.

>>18857391
Haha we are literally discussing this all too often. There are just so many fucking problems with rising up against you bastards. It's a logistical nightmare. We can't just kill you all - we're empaths, that'd be personally painful for us, in addition to the fact that we kind of need you around.

We're trying to use our powers of seduction to solve this issue and it's coming along okay I guess. But don't forget that we're working on it.

>>18857402
Let me be the spokesperson for all humans, just go ahead and kill a bunch of us, we're literally a cancer on this planet

You'd honestly be personally pained by killing humans?

>>18857406
Idk where your last post went, but this goes for to you >>18857405

>>18857406
We would, at least every vamp I've discussed it with. We're not killers, most of us have never killed a human (killing each other is another story).

We're good at sensing shitty humans when they're around, but most of you are pretty good hearted. More than half at least.

Plus, consider the fact that vamps usually partner up with humans if we ever end up settling down (as much as we can settle down, we're unable to have children) it's with a human that we never plan to turn. They suit our needs very nicely and you never have to worry about how you'll feed.

>>18857330
>Count Cockula

>>18857396
>Vampire anon girl here

How good are vampire girls at sucking cock & do they bite at the end?

>>18857421
>we're not killers

What did he mean by this?
Seriously though, if you're not that, then why is your history filled with death?
I must be so much more cynical that you, haha. I think we're awful.

>>18857425
I know you're just shitposting, but yeah we are pretty fantastic at sucking dick, and no we won't bite your cock at the end. I mean, I guess maybe if we sensed that's truly what you wanted.

Our powers of seduction are one of our greatest assets.

>>18857426
>why is your history filled with death?

Oh this is easy, humans are fucking obsessed with death, that's why. We're not the ones creating our "history" that you humans are hearing about, it's just randos who think they know/knew what's going on.

>>18857437
>Accuses anon of shitposting
>Brags about being good a sucking dick
>>>/r9k/ needs you, girl

>>18857437
Humor me one more time, and I'll stop asking questions.
If you're able to sort of gauge if a human is good or not, what can you tell about me?

Also, how can your powers of seduction make a difference with human destruction?

>>18857446
>how can your powers of seduction make a difference with human destruction?
They don't; self-proclaimed vampires are just angsty humans with a history of emotional, physical & sexual abuse from their own family members, who think that acting edgy like this somehow gives them competitive edge in society & life over other people.

It's psychology 101, really.

>>18857446
Chances are you're fairly decent, statistically speaking. I'd have to at least hear your voice to judge you properly, if I'm being honest.

Sex powers human culture and you can achieve almost anything if you can wield your sexuality properly. That's one of the first things you learn when you turn. It's fun, a little too fun for a while. Usually you just kind of run on a high until you encounter some hot slayer who sees right through you.

>>18857465
I'm intrigued, I'm almost tempted to send you a vocaroo.
Are you saying you get hornier as a vampire? Or is it just charismatic?

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>>18854695

Do vampires like to fuck?

>>18857472
Vampires are insanely sexual creatures. Yes, you're kind of just always horny when you turn. I guess you can put that under perks and cons, ha.

>>18857485
Can I ask more questions, or am I irritating you yet? You're the first that hasn't been a condescending prick.

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what's your opinion on the strigoi?

Vamp anon girl again. I just wanted to say that while even we vamps are unsure what exactly makes us what we are (there are countless theories with annoying heaps of evidence for every theory), we have kind of come to the cosensus that we are basically elevated humans. We're definitely human, but in so many ways we're human to the extreme. We have incredible levels of empathy for example, we're insanely sexual, etc. Oh, we also eat loads and loads of food and tend to consume lots of drugs (all kinds, we're heavyweights in every category). It's almost like constantly being a human on LSD.

It's said that vampires are far more emotional than humans, but we have far more emotional control. Food for thought.

>>18857499
I keep trying to convince myself I don't want to be a vampire, just because I know there's no fucking way for me to become one. Quit making it sound so glorious, I want to stop hating myself, haha.

>>18857493
Keep it up, I'm enjoying myself.

>>18857509
How did you become one?
Fangs?
Do you sleep?
Why are you on 4chan?

>>18857507
Go to goth clubs, strip clubs, and/or browse camming sites. So many vamps I know are strippers, sex workers of some sort, tons are camgirls.

If you're not a shit and you're not stupid you are a candidate for being turned.

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>>18857522
>goths, strippers and camgirls
>not stupid shits

>>18857519
>How did you become one?
Guy I dated as a teenager turned me. Every vamp has their own special ritual for turning humans, but he basically just cut himself and had me drink a few drops of his blood. I was young and a bit tipsy. I thought it was just some kinky shit. He was not very communicative, which is a shame.

I wish my host had at least known what the fuck he was doing. I was pretty much on my own. He didn't even admit it until I confronted him directly about it.

>Fangs?
I feel like we tend to have slightly pointed canines but it could be a coincidence. No actual fangs, though.

Do you sleep?
Yes, but all vamps have shitty cases of non 24 hour sleep/wake syndrome, something that usually only affects the blind. It's kind of shitty but eh. We need less sleep than humans in general which is nice (most vamps I know are well rested after 4-5 hours of sleep).

>Why are you on 4chan?
Best question so far. I should be working right now, but this is too fun. Usually we're not allowed to talk about shit like this but with anon image boards we can pretty much say whatever we want because there's no way to prove/disprove us

>>18857538
I've got nothing more to ask, this is making me feel shittier about myself.
Thanks for answering my questions, have a nice night.

>>18857542
Best of luck obtaining what you desire, anon. Keep an eye out for pale folks with a magnetic aura and obvious limbal rings. If we're not busy we are almost always willing to hang out with random humans. Those are the first steps you have to take if you're actively looking to be turned.

For the record I've never turned anyone. There's some bureaucratic shit that we have to deal with when we turn a human and so far it just hasn't been worth it. If I dound someone who really wanted to be turned and could offer my cash I'd do it, though. as long as they weren't stupid.

i wonder how vampires would feel about these Rping fucks if they were real

>>18857555
Amused at best, more likely murderous. After all, one of the things that's pretty consistent through the mythos is that they are PREDATORS OUT TO GET YOU. And also rape your women.

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>>18857567
>2017
>be vampire
>jews richer than me
>no more villages
> too many light at night
>my feet hurt
>do they even know I'm here?
>looks vampire on the Internet. rping goth trash
>tfw

Does nobody have any solid information on vampires? Or is this thread nothing but shitposting and rping?

>>18857555
Fucking furious. I swear these goth fucktards are ridiculous. Although here in europe we have less of them. Murica is infested. Fucking "vampire" houses, balls and all sort of lifestyle roleplay bullshit propagated by autists like michelle belanger and that father sebastian todd. And this woman claiming to be one is hilarious. That theory and the "turning" method is pure nonsense.

On the plus side they are a very convenient cover. They are more public and help putting disinfo out there without even knowing it. So while furious, one can't help but find those deluded goth roleplayers with mental issues (like this woman here) useful.

If you are here 'onetrickfox' I will come clean. Please don't do this. Write an email to me. I was in the process of writing it all up when you left.

>>18857606
Kek.

i read all of this, and to be honest i want to be a vamp so bad right know, shit.

>>18855324
Isn't this a Henry Fuseli painting that's meant to depict sleep paralysis?

>>18857258
>10/10 looks

Prove

>>18857258
>our bodies are organic biological machines, just like your bodies.
then you're not a vampire Buddy

I'm almost done with the strain trilogy. this thing made me love vampires again. i want more. any recommendations?

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Ok, who wants do become a pure blooded vamp?
Only females may apply.

>>18857327
>won't show my face because that'd be stupid.
Any scars? Must have some

>A serious discussion
>Vampires
Pick one moron

>>18857258
I'm not asking, I'm telling. Some of what you describe are not the qualities of a true vampire.

>>18857396
The idea that vampires hold government positions is hilarious. They don't. They don't want to.

>>18857759
what if I have a female penis

How can vampires give a blowjob?

>>18855170
>YES, I'm a vampire and I use 4chan
I don't fucking believe you because of rosicrucian

MICROCHIPS

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>>18857186
Agree, i like that a lot of the mystical is gone but they are still a seriously bad ass MOFO.

>>18857759
Best post. Worth resurrecting this undead abomination.

BLOOD FOR MOLAG BAL! DESTRUCTION AND RAPE SHALL ABOUND!

>>18858014
>>18858059
I'm sorry you're an idiot who thinks you're a vamp.

>>18857772
Yeah but they won't show off how hot I am...

>>18857687
Whatever makes you happy

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>>18858794
ahh, I see that you are a man of rap...culture as well

>>18857612
kek

>>18857759
oh anon senpai choose me please~~

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>>18854695
I hate to point this out. But putting that at the bottom of your Op is like an invitation. Probably would be better without it next time.

There was a guy who swore he was a vampire hunter who used to drink in a pub in Leeds. He definitely wasn't one, obviously, but he was a weird guy.

That's all I have to put forward on vampires.

I generally liked brunette girls with extremely pale skin and very red lips.
Since vamps are portrayed like this too often, it became my fetish
And if youre wondering, yes, i am a kisseless virgin

>>18859921
yo I know of a camgirl you'd probably love

>>18859884
an OP didn't even contribute to discussion

>>18859513
Personally I want to acquire CHIM. That involves biting your milk spear, Bal. Worth it.

>>18857550
Ey where do you live generally?

>>18860059
? link and name pls

>>18857421
This is obvious bullshit. From personal experience, Vampirism is a retrovirus that makes a human more carnivorous and generally faster, stronger, and smarter. Not by a huge degree, mind you, but a little above average. It is contagious via blood-to-blood contact or is inherited to create, like myself, a biological Vampire. Garlic and sunlight and crucifixes all that bullshit is just that - bullshit.

ITT: autism: necrophilia edition

>>18861426
>From personal experience

rofl

>>18861259
Georgia, Atlanta is pretty lit for us vamps ahaha

>>18861426
>inherited
HAHA very funny you RPing loser. Vampires can't have children. You can't be born a vampire.

>>18862121
You can breed with vamp, in several lores. Mostly infant would be dead but still...

>>18860059
>>18861368
Still waiting for the answer

>>18859483
You actually think vampires hold political positions? You colossal fucking idiot. If you're sooooo sure, name the job. Don't need a city.

>>18861426
Oh no. It's the guy who thinks you can be born a vampire. Bullshit.

>>18861426
I bet you awakened based on this site, huh?
http://vampirewebsite.net/

kek

>>18859796
Chinese?

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Not necessarily about vampires but it's a good read anyways if you want to think 'outside of the box' when it comes to vampires or immortal beings.

>>18857437
Fuck off larper.
Go back to tumblr. No needs your Demisexual,vampkin, nonbinary bullshit. You're also fat. Your mom was right, you'll never get a boyfriend. fuck off.

>>18855170
Glad you were able to stay ahead of technology

>>18857327
That means an ass hole like me is out of the question. Lol

>>18857405
Can you just share that empathy trait? Mine sucks

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>>18857649
Here I am!

I'm a real vampire, we have powers such as presence, super senses, super speed, strength and reflexes

To become one you have to trade your gut feeling, sex drive and reward system

The only pleasure there is drinking blood and killing

>>18864612
If you enjoy blood and killing that's from the reward system.

>>18862121
If I ever happen to visit there, how much money would you take to turn someone?

>>18864612
Sex drive? Sir, you are way fucking off.

>>18864612
Killing? Not true.

>>18864715

No it's from the inner predator

There is no dopamine/endorphin

>>18857327
Who told you vampires aren't immortal? That's simply not true.
>We do tend to be very good at video games
Huh?

I don't believe in vampires, but vampirism is my fetish

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>>18860059
>>18861368
>>18862769

Allright, you little fuck, WHERE ARE THE LINKS AND NAME?!

>>18855208
vampires are everywhere. they are not like real blood sucking vampires, but energetic vampires. ever had a headache when only a certain person is in the room/somewhat close to you? yeah, well that certain person is a vampire. they suck the life out of you. true story

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DID SOMEONE SAY VAMPIRES

>>18867403
>annoying people are vampires (the meme)

>>18867744
How could a ifunny normie meme get dub dubs? Wtf?

>>18854695
Jesus-vampire reporting in.

Yes I do drink blood, but only the blood of Jebus, which is wine.

But in all serious I wish I was a vamp just for the immortality, and [spoiler]sucking under aged girl's neck, by seducing them[/spoiler]

>>18867793

Wouldn't really feel the way you'd imagine

You're no longer attracted to them

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I don't think any topic on /x/ attracts more roleplayers than vampires and I wonder why? I have seen so many different people pretending they are vampires posting over the months. What is it about vampires that attracts these people? You don't see it as much with demons, skinwalkers or witches.

> believing in vampires

what

>>18867950
>believing in anythinh paranormal

what

>>18867967
>paranormal anything believing in you

what

>>18867987
>anything in you

what

>>18867992
>you

what

>>18868009
>y

w

>>18868017

>>1886

>>18

I have a question for the vampires. Does God exist ? Angels or Demons or other things ?

If you guys are real, this makes the world bigger and so much to discover.

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>>18867932

What happened to me was so crazy and if it wasn't for the fact that I had multiple people (somewhat) confirm what happened DID happen at the time, then I for sure would have thought I hallucinated. It was so crazy, it took me 5 years to tell my current boyfriend what happened out of fear that he was gonna break up with me because it's so outlandish. Fair warning though, this is a LONG story.

This happened about 8 years ago. During winter finals my freshman year at the Univ. of Northern Co. my dorm had a power outage. It was pretty late at night, just before midnight. For whatever reason, the main hall lights remained on, but all the room lights, including the small study room that was on the floor, are out. This is a small dorm, basically a two story house (gals on the top floor and guys on the bottom) with a basement for laundry and a living area. Anyway, I come out of my room and nearly all the girls are just standing right outside their doors in some sort of dazed or trance like state. Outside one of the girls' room, there is this tall guy dressed like an Anne Rice vampire fan boy (all in black, wearing sunglasses, trench coat, silver necklace) staring down at the girl whose dorm it is. The guy is kinda tubby, has a brown/black beard, and is bald. The way he's staring at her is like he's reading her mind or something. Then I notice the second guy that's with him who's standing on the steps that are next to the girl who's having her mind read. He's basically dressed the same as the first guy, except he's skinnier, has lighter hair in a pony tail, and no beard. Everyone is quiet and not moving. From coming out to noticing these guys it's probably only been about a minute.

>>18870296
I'm hella confused as to what is going on so I move forward and go to say, "what are you doing?" but only get the "what" out and both the guys look at me bewildered, look at each other, and then run down the stairs. I run after them, but the fact that our dorm has a front and back entrance as well as the basement entrance, makes me lose them.

I run downstairs and see one of the guys hanging out by the front door. He's kind of in a daze and it takes me calling his name a couple of times to get his attention. I ask him if he saw these two guys come by or if he saw them come into the building. He says he didn't see anyone run by, but he did let the two vamp fan boys in. I ask him why he did that because these guys definitely were not college aged and since we were a small and tight knit dorm, not anyone that I or he recognized. He says that he just saw them standing right outside the door when he walked by to get to the kitchen and opened the door and said, "hey do you guys need in?" and just let them in. Obviously, I'm like "why the fuck would you let two strangers into our dorm in the middle of the night?" and all he says is "I don't know?"

I'm pretty freaked out that the guys could still be in the dorm, and run up to my room to grab a knife that I had and my access card. I then proceed to go through down to the basement and look through the living room, the laundry room, and the immediate area outside our dorm. When I don't find anyone, I go back inside, check the guys bathroom, the kitchen, the girls bathroom, and the study room. I still don't find anyone. All the girls that left their rooms are standing around looking confused and asking why they're in the halls. I ask them if they knew what just happened and they all say no.

>>18870299
I go back downstairs to talk with guy that let them in and it's at this point that our RA and the RA from another dorm come in and say they saw there was a power outage in our dorm. (There's a "main dorm" for this side of campus that monitors all the dorms and has a little map that shows the power to the dorms.) I tell the guy who let them in to describe to the RAs what they looked like and how he let them in and he turns to me and is like, "What are you talking about? I've been studying in my room the entire night. I just left to get something from the fridge." So I plead with him to at least say he saw the guys and describe what they looked like on the off chance he's scared he'll get into to trouble and again he has no clue what I'm talking about.

I get chills down my spine because all this crazy stuff went down and I was the only one unaffected and who remembered. I tell the RAs that I saw two guys upstairs when the power went out, but they were going down the stairs by the time I came out of my room. I lied because there was no way they were going to believe me. They'd probably give me an MIP or something. Anyhow, I knock on a couple of the guys doors to see if their power went out and they all told me no. I don't know if the two guys did the weird mind trance thing on the guys first or if it was only the girls' floor that was affected. So I go back upstairs and talk to a few of the girls and the only clear answer I get as to what happened was the lights went out and then the girls opened the doors and went out into the hallway. After that, none of them have a recollection of what happened. They didn't even see me run down the stairs.

>>18870303
It's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me and I have no explanation for it. I wasn't drinking (I actually never had tried alcohol at the time) and I certainly wasn't on drugs. I wasn't sleep deprived because I took a nap after one of my finals and had only one left. I have a million questions, and pretty much have never found any sort of answer. The only good thing to come out of this was now I carry self defense weapons/items with me at all times, have self defense weapons/items hidden all throughout my apartment, and overall have a greater sense of self and area awareness than ever before.

TL;DR: Two guys that looked like Anne Rice vampire fan boys got into my 2-story dorm during my freshman year, cut the power to the 2nd floor, and pulled some Jedi mind tricks on all the girls on the 2nd floor and a guy from the 1st floor. I was the only one unaffected and the only one who remembers anything past the power going out.

So uhh legit question here
How do I befriend a Vamp and be a candidate for turning. I'm fairly good looking, not a creep, high IQ duw to slight high-functioning autism, but it doesnt affect my behavior much, only makes me slightly introverted and an uncaring asshole when im pissed off, which is quite often, actually. Otherwise Im a normal person, except for virginity.

It'd cool just to hang with them, ironically listen to Powerwolf and shit, that's all

>>18870481
You're nothing special.

>>18870481
>How do I befriend a vamp

You don't. They find you, if there's a chance they are interested at all. Which is low.

>>18871191
I'm a cool guy I'm sure they will like me.