How isolated have you become over the years?

more than what was needed

>>18332428
don't talk to friends anymore. it's been like five+ years since i've spoke to most of them.

>>18332428
There are days I am not sure if I still exist.

>become
i always were

>>18332428
Very
...and I'm perfectly okay with being so

Very isolated except work and kick boxing class.

No friends, barely ever talk to family.

/pol/ red pilled me too hard.

I have a wife and kid on the way, and of course my family but like only 2 male friends I am not related to. Hard to meet bros for some reason. Is that a type of hermit?

I quit my job over 2 years ago and rarely leave the house ever since. I have my groceries delivered to my door and don't go out unless absolutely necessary.


>>18332800
No.

>>18332800
No. You're just a forced lonely/social reject.
A hermit is person who tend to not want to socialize with other humans all the time.

>>18332428
Very. people have no time for me and constantly reject me. I actually wanna move at tgis point. Fuck normies.

I've never had a lot of friends.
I enjoy the quiet, although I do live with someone.
I'm hard to get to know.

I wonder where all of you guys Chiron is at in your chart...

I wouldn't say I'm Hermit -tier levels of isolated, but I'd rather use that word for comical effect. I am pretty much a recluse though, yes

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>>18332959
Can't find Chiron here, can you elaborate?

I've done all I could. I had a girlfriend for awhile, went out a lot, made a lot of friends. It's all bullshit to me. I just want to be alone constantly, I feel like it's an issue. I'm an extremely good conversationalist too, but it's a waste. I have yet to see anyone else give me some type of happiness that I can't just find in myself.

My sister is the only person I really value in my life and want to spend time with.

Yesterday was my birthday. Went out of my room 1 time just to grab food

>>18332977
Happy birthday, anon!

>>18332977
Happy birthday, anon. We still love you.

>>18332967
Nevermind, its 20 degree Virgo
>Petty, stingy, and mercenary character. One is interested in financial profits and strives relentlessly to increase one's wealth, considering every penny spent, including those meant to meet basic daily needs such as meals and clothes. Speculations in food and raw materials are very lucrative.

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>>18332536
I'm watching you.

Haven't had a real friend in almost ten years.
Haven't been in any kind of education or employment in around three years.
Haven't had a real conversation with anyone outside my own family in maybe two years.
I spend most of my time walking in the woods near my house, and shitposting on imageboards.

>>18332428
I haven't had a job since 2013. My only friends are spirits.

>>18332967
Chiron is a comet and sometimes isn't listed on charts,
do yours in astrodienst and I can point it out

>>18332992
okjbut what house is it in?

>>18332488

Yay me too best decision I ever made

>>18333493
when i was younger, i thought it was just social anxiety so i put a lot of work into overcoming that and learning how to function socially. I really just don't like interacting with people very much.

How do you guys make money? There's no possible way you can survive with a lifestyle like this

>>18332977
happy birthday

bro

zyzz told us were all gonna make it

>>18332781
What did /pol/ tell you?

>>18333500

You like to interact with information not people that's perfectly normal for a logical person. Outside is rape murder torture. My 8th grade classmate girl who had big tits and is black she recently tortured and mrdered someone. Gased them beyond recognition lol whippednand slashed body then dumped in the lake. All that with her dumb ass boyfriend. My mom used to teach her too. I went bowling with her during college and though about having a threesome with her and another girl we got a bottle of wine but nothing happened. Anyway after bowling that one night as a middle school reunion thing we were outside after eating frozen yogurt and she was like "ohh your arm hairs are so golden" anyway seemed like a nice girl big tits now looks nothing like she did back then. Crazy shit happens in nowhere, it's up to courage to save his new home. Oooga booga booga!!!

All joking aside that story is real. Umm yeah people are stupid don't feel bad for a second. If you need someone to talk to just make a thread in here am I right guys?

We're always down to fucking chill here harmlessly.

>>18332428
>>>/r9k/

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I'm a recluse for 3 years. I work at home, only leaving my house two or three times a week (to buy food and cigarettes, take out the trash, leave offerings at crossroads). Never had many friends. Currently, I don't see the point of trying to build something with someone when all of it could get easily dissolved into nothing.
I had a normal life once, but I got tired of faking to enjoy socializing. It's just a loop (an addicting one, unfortunately).

Isolation deteriorates the mind though, so I talk to people IRL and [fun]post on imageboards from time to time.
The people in my life right now are nothing more than acquaintances. I'm good listener, they easily open up to me, so I listen to whatever is in their minds. They got listened to, I talk to them, they leave me alone; I get conversations that keep my sanity in check. Win-win.

>>18332977
>77
Blessed and checked.

Happy birthday, my man.

>>18332428
I haven't left the house since May.
Other than house work.

No, I don't live in a basement.
I take care of the house to keep my stay.

Yes, I am a loser and I hate my fucking life.

Go on and remind me.
It echoes daily.

>>18332428
My only friend is a ghost that I'm fairly certain is my own invention

i dont rly make a lable of myself. but when i think of it, ive got one real good friend, some other regular jackasses that i talk to once in a while, family people, but in the end, I just want to learn how to be. moment is the main thing.

>>18333722
>I hate my fucking life
Then do something about it.

To be a misanthrope (As i am) is basically a form of escapism from fear of other people.

Even though other people bore us, or disgust us, in reality the problem is in ourselves, because we should be above all that. But we aren´t, we have issues, traumas, redpills, wtv.

To become isolated, brings us peace. But it´s fake. We also suffer a lot in that peace. Because we never feel complete. It´s a hard bargain, and as time goes by, the more difficult it becomes...

Im 37 now, i rented an apartment 5 years ago in what i thought would be my growth period.

Made my apartment my own prison cell, were i smke drgus all day, mastrubate, and look 24/7 into the world through the digital window.

We are not special, or smarter than the others. We may be more awoke, but in the end, we are lazy and fearful of life.

>>18332428
I've shifted around who I'm with instead of leaving them.

>>18333529
Everyone is shit and deserves to die

>>18333888
Double triple.

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>>18333911
>911

I think I'm a very social person.
I just think I have more interesting things to do at home instead of at the mall, in the theater, at a sporting event, inside a church, in a bar, at the club, at social gatherings, or around other people in general.

>>18333509
Donate plasma.

>>18332428

i live with 3 family members but still keep to myself. when i'm working i exist in my own little bubble but i'm out of work right now. i browse the internet but not obsessively and no social networking sites.

it's not a problem desu i enjoy solitude and really, at least at this point in my life, i'd like to be more isolated. i'm sure if i'm completely cut off i'd be driven insane though.

i'd say i'm alone but not lonely.

>>18333722
Do you get food delivered to you or something? Why the fuck can't you walk outside

>>18333722
Also when last had another person or woman touched you?

>>18334040

i think he lives with people, hence the "keep my stay" part, which i guess mean earn his keep. other people , family i presume, bring in money and food.

wow this thread is full of losers lol

>>18332977
Birthday was on the 11th, I know the feel.

>>18334084
These people have real issues you're just big dumb elvis

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<ITT Losers

>>18334119
reptilians get out of my cave

>>18334112

He's not Elvis, I'm Elvis.

i keep up with one friend. even then it's only once every month or so. it's been hard but it is what it is

>>18332428
Separation is an illusion. For a beginning, "You" is made of three spirits. Your soul, your higher self and lower self, that's the holy trinity encoded in every religion.

very, except for a small band of close friends

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>>18334649
>Your soul, your higher self and lower self, that's the holy trinity encoded in every religion.
spooks

>>18333044
Stolas?

>>18334649
>i am god you guiz
>totes enlightened
>oh noez late for my shift at best buy
>reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>18332428
Very isolated.

Apart from work, the only time I go out is to get food or buy groceries. I buy all my clothes and electronics online and I get my medical mj delivered to my home.

The only time that I would be considered "social" in recent years is when I did a lot of volunteer work 3-5 days a week, but even then I didn't hang out with anyone afterwards and would go home after i finished.

I had a small group if friends that I would hang out with during college, but I haven't talked to them since I graduated.

lots of scorpios in here
mine was on the 12th, happy bday loner scorp bros.. we are always the wanderers.. luckily its lonely at the top, too bad this life is too easy to live in and we just look like losers.. soon.

>>18333791
I'm trying to fight it. Ever since the car accident; I haven't been the same. I refuse to take anxiety medication, even though that seems to be the only viable option.

>>18334040 Refer to >>18334050

>>18334043
4 years ago was the last time I slept with a woman. I am 24.

I have slept with 6, overall.

I can't remember the last time I've felt the touch of anyone.

>>18335135
Same bro, 31st here. What do you mean by soon?

A lot. Haven't had friends since I left college. Tried a bunch of times. It usually works but I'm odd looking/acting and I look like a 15 years old even though I'm 26. I'm always at the bottom of the ladder when I'm with others so most jokes are directed towards me. I can't really change who I am physically and what I'm interested in so I decided to stay alone. It really isn't bad. In fact I've made progress getting out of depression since I've stopped having contact with others. I still keep in touch with my dad though.

I told people from my high school I left the country about 8 years ago. Just moved 50km away.

Basically I see my parents once a month, and that's it. Get by on doing sanitation at night at a small warehouse. Pretty comfy/10

>>18335135
libra here actually

>>18332428
Very, I have no friends and I rarely socialize aside from the occasional 'Good morning' to my coworkers

>>18335438
>I can't really change who I am physically

Work out.

>>18335471
I do. I'm not into body building though. I don't have a whole week to spend on my body and you can't change your facial bone structure by working out.

So isolated that I was diagosed with derealization and I'm going to kill myself in the woods. If dubs I'll live stream.

>>18335966
Yay

>>18332428
I'm mostly a shut in, but I do go out and buy my own groceries, at least.

>>18332528
This. I feel you, man.

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I just cant connect, I feel like I lack the human ability to socialize and it makes me feel so selfish and worthless. I wasn't always like this, it makes me wonder where I got left behind

>>18332428
When people think isolation, they think of Cast Away, or being off in the hills, off the grid. But I'm isolated. I was young and dumb, got married when I was 19. We have two kids. I work to support my family, do repairs around the house as much as I can since we really can't afford to pay anyone. What little free time I do get is spent with the wife and/or kids. I love them but I get guilted if I even hint to wanting time to myself. I have grown apart from my life. I love her, I'll never not love her, but I don't think I like her. It's not the you like x and I like y differences, those are easy to overcome. As I've entered my mid-twenties, I feel that the personality traits each of us likes in ourselves and others have strayed far away from each other. Our kids are yet too young to understand but my wife and I have become fundamentally different. Since she is a sahm my children will undoubtedly reflect her personal views more than mine--my oldest, 3, already seems to. We haven't had a real conversation in years. This election just highlighted the differences and probably sped up the end of our relationship.

I'm isolated in my own home with my own family. I don't even get the luxury of myself as a companion. I had hobbies, interests, favorite books, favorite movies. I wonder, when I can finally be with myself again, what will I like?

I'm so lonely.

>>18335966
oh fuck

>>18335966
Godspeed.

As a social species, connecting with others of our own kind should be easy, right? Instinctive. Yet, as this thread illustrates, it can be (for one reason or another) an outright struggle. To socialize, to relate, to be comfortable with another human being...seems like it should be so simple, or at least something that could be brushed off.

I raise my mug to you all. If not a brighter day, then I wish for you at least some small peace.

>>18335966
Derealization is pretty common and easy to fix anon. Go outside and you probably also lack some vitamins. Happens to me all the time. Been depressed since like 12.

>>18333888
Praise KEK

>>18336279
Damn, you're young and you pretty much lived a full life already. Had kids, married... Seriously don't feel guilty for wanting time for yourself. And I think that in this day and age people are starting to realize that relationships can't last forever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rhn0pgbfzf4

>>18333529
That we're all cattle and we run to the slaughter like children to an ice cream truck.

That MK ULTRA is everywhere.

The Jews and their tricks.

>>18336522
>scared of being mind controlled
>gets mind controlled by /pol/

>>18334084
Most of 4chan has schizoid personalities.

But we still have much power, we memed Donald Trump into Presidency and ruined celebrities lives.

>>18335135
I'm a Leo.

Best fucking birth sign ever.

I think I've got some weird circumstances.

I'd really like to make the full transition, to go to work, to live life, and then come back home, and be alone.

Not sad, but alone.

Yet, it isn't hard for me to socialize. I make friends with people all the time, even when I don't mean to. My home life begins to look like I'll never actually ever be that isolated until everyone else is dead (which is completely in the realm of possibility), but then I wonder just how much of my life I'll have wasted, not indulging myself for once.

I'm torn, and life just seems too ripe nonetheless. I'm isolated enough to feel somewhat comfortable, and still maintain a "healthy social appearance".

this is a data mining thread by some fagnuts
listen here jerkoff
before the normie invasion
I think there were more actual mentally ill people here and I liked it
now theres just fakers and other shitty tarrot card style dicksucks
oh woe is me for us all huh isn't it?
get some real problems why does everything get shitted up at some point
I hate being addicted to things
like this site

good luck everyone
real or imagined as your problems are I hope you also somehow fix them. well enough as you can that is.

>>18336529
Would rather be mind controlled by /pol/ than msm.

My job is extremely social and involves me talking to strangers every day. All of my personal relationships are purely business, though, and I don't really connect with many people past business.

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>>18333536
33536

>>18336532
wrong
most of 4chins somehow thinks or wishes they had something like that
full schizers is only there when it is also physically there in the brain irl
people that have no phsyical shit also seem to want to have something like it so they go for that personality type bs
baby needs to grow up is mostly everyones problem here if they want to hear it or not and that includes places which claim to be so big boy like pol

holy shit just be glad something really isn't wrong with you and ignore the hype

there's nothing that you want from really having some sort of problem

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>>18336556

>>18332428
I'm not a normie and leave the house only to get things.

>>18336568
I forgot about the last job I had, which was pretty much torture.


Don't work for Walmart if you can find anything better.

>>18336559
you know

>>18333536
This is an interesting post.

>>18335145
>I refuse to take anxiety medication, even though that seems to be the only viable option.
Look up "Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies" by Rhena Branch. It might be another option.

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>>18332428
The older I get I actually don't mind isolation more. Having my own house, being able to blast my music loud, watch movies loud, fap to porn whenever I feel like it, cry without somebody asking me what's wrong, go online whenever or however the fuck long I want, go where I please without ever having to tell somebody where I'm going or what time I'll be back. I have no pets either. Whenever I feel lonely I just think about how miserable life would be if I were living with a girlfriend. At first, we'd be allover eachother, then weeks go by, she moves in, she does her thing, i do mine, but she's still always around and up my ass about everything. I eventually tire of her. She's not the freaknik I first met anymore. Sex comes maybe once a week if I'm lucky. We break up. We have make up sex. Same routine over again. We break up for real this time. It takes a real emotional toll on the both of us. I think about her constantly for several months then get over her. See her with a new boyfriend or husband a year or so later, get infuriated for a few days then get over it. You know, the usual shit that I would never have to deal with if I were just single all that time. I have a job that barely pays over minimum wage and I'll have enough retirement money and social security to be able to retire which will due to inflation will be about the same amount, possibly more than what I make today. I'll be old and alone, retired, exercise regularly then die like the rest of us. The cool thing about being an anon online though is that nobody ever has to see or know how old you are. I can still interact with society decades from now and fit in none of the new kids will even know I'm a senior unless I decide to say I am for reasons.

>>18332977
Happy bday m8

I've always been isolated, but became even more after leaving school

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>>18333509

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>>18333509
It's usually considered honorable for parents to provide their children with an inheritance, so they can freely pursue their own desires and restore greater health and dignity to the family

My grandparents misered away and squandered their fortunes until they died alone and the money was wasted away

>>18333830
>We are not special, or smarter than the others. We may be more awoke, but in the end, we are lazy and fearful of life.
this

>>18335442
damn, that sounds really comfy. i'm gonna be working a really early shift at a petsmart soon, hopefully I can keep interaction with customers at a minimum

>>18333830
>I'm 37 now
baba booey

>>18336205
that's a big cliff

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>>18333139
So what does the placement of Chiron mean?

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>>18336412
we've domesticated ourselves.

I'm pretty much ready to be an actual hermit in a forest or a mountain cave somewhere.

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>>18338479
Is that a withered cannabis leaf with a flower growing from it which is also withering, clearly because it is dehydrated?

>>18336412
>As a social species

We never lived with some much people around us since the industrialization. I think humans are evolving to be able to survive in these conditions which is why being social is an indispensable tool to survive in this day and age. Some adapt, some are resilient. This is why you have the liberals (progress) wanting to bring people together as the global demographic changes and conservatives (keeping the old ways) that want nothing about sharing their land with more people.

>>18338516
Are you talking about your family specifically? Where did you come from?

>>18338530
No, just america in general. I think the during this revolution the population grew 50% bigger. Anyway you can read about it on various websites.

http://classroom.synonym.com/did-industrial-revolution-affect-human-population-size-7995.html

>>18338558
You know the human population has risen by about 1000% since then

>>18338565
Didn't know that. Since when exactly? How did you make that conclusion?

>>18338569
My professor Mrs. Bitchtits told me and I trusted her

>>18338511
i don't know, the pic is from a book i've read a bit of.

>>18332428
not enough desu

I try to be as isolated as I can.

Because everytime I meet people from my past - childhood friends, classmates, or just familiar people from my neighbour - progress of their lives reminds me of my own failure.

For example that one geeky guy from highschool, who loved call of duty and had very awkward laugh - now he goes to same university as me. He has a car, a good job in his field of expertise, does excellent in school and overall is great person. I'm two years older, travel by foot, I don't go to my shitty job anymore because I'm lazy, and I do terrible in school.

>"Hey anon, how was you summer? I did this and this with my friends and we had tons of fun."
>"Lurking 4chan."

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Very isolated. All I want to do in life is forge my own living somewhere quiet and alone, so that I'll appreciate and enjoy the few social encounters I do have.
Living as a wage slave in the suburbs gives me no isolation and forces me into social situations so often that I don't appreciate them. I need wide, open natural spaces to wander and contemplate instead of being stuck in my house in my spare time.

>>18338462
4u

>>18334043
>implying ever

fucking normies need to learn their place

>>18335135
I'm supposed to be a Leo. I don't know what the fuck happened there.

Working at a morgue right now. Gonna work till I have enough money to buy a house in the countryside. I'll finally be truly free in a few years.

>>18340470
Me too, but I got "blessed" with a Scorpio Moon and Scorpio Rising.
What's yours?

>>18336205
That picture is one of the most haunting I've ever seen, Jesus Christ. What lies in the abyss below? What horrors stir just below the threshold of men?

>>18332428

>>18341514
I'm Leo ascendant Scorpio...And i'm here, too.

>>18338758
I'm the same as you.

Earlier today I was thinking how when I see other people having fun, I don't even feel jealous. I just want to not exist. That way, I don't have to be reminded of how hard I suck. If I could just not be there, and not have to think about them or me, everything would be fine.

If I could, I really think that I wouldn't ever go around people. I wonder what led me to think like this? Roughly two years ago I was the exact opposite.

>>18332428
You gotta take into consideration that years of isolation takes quite a toll on your mind. as much as I'd like to start fitting into society again i'm finding it pretty difficult. its almost like i needed to start learning how to talk again because of how long i was trapped in my head. that and ive sort of become my own best friend. i also developped a very low tolerance for people's trivialities. its going to take a lot of time and effort to reintergrate myself. that or ill just go live in a cave somewhere

>>18341514
No idea. I don't know my time of birth.

If someone was isolated for most of their upbringing (until around age 15), would they still have hope for a normal social life?

>>18336545
how about just not being mind controlled by anybody? or is that too much work?

>>18332428
intellectually I know I'm too isolated, but at the same time I feel like I'm not isolated enough. which is weird because I often feel lonely. I think part of it is that I don't want to inflict my craziness on others.

>>18335438
>when I'm with others so most jokes are directed towards me.

Well, from one shutin to another, those are terrible friends and you don't need to put up with that shit. If or when you choose friends in the future, try to be really conscious about it. Choose wisely.

>>18335442
That sounds nice, Anon. I did something similar for a while, but recently reestablished contact with a select few.

>>18344674
>thinks he Isn't mind controlled

>>18344778
who, me or him?

>>18344786
Everyone really, to some extent.

>>18344791
true enough

makes you wonder if sartre knew deep down that he was fooling himself

Stopped talking to nearly all friends 4 years ago, after I got out of high school. Something started happening to me, which proved, that everything other people chase and find valuable in their life is nonsense. It's regarding the third eye. Read "Awakening the Third Eye" by Samuel Sagan, the first chapter, practise a little bit, when you start having what's described as vibration in the third eye, you'll then feel even more alienated from everyone, because you can't talk about it, they'll think you are crazy, or just won't understand. But you will gave a gnosis, just for yourself ...

>>18333536
Yeah dude.

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>>18332437
There are days when I think this but every attempt to re-assimilate leaves me with a reinforced feeling that I haven't gone far enough.

>>18332977
Happy belated, anon

>>18332428
Exponentially.
Dun a goof right after high school that left me with broken ribs and a broken personality that prefers home alone over hanging out because hanging out is what got me all broken.

Haven't been able to overcome it for years.

Have maybe 1 bro in town that I hang out with once a week to chief with and that's it.

Had a sorta gf earlier this year that pulled me out of the shell, even started doing karaoke, but my anxiety in public and personality disorder fucked it.
Became even more reclusive after that, grills dont interest me anymore, and I lose interest in everything else pretty fast.

Don't even care to try anymore, deleted facebook and most other social media accounts. come to chan at work just to kill time

feelsbadman.jpg

I'm trying to isolate myself completely from modern society, but a group of obnoxious extraterrestrials won't fucking leave me alone. Every time I leave the house to do anything, their always right fuckin there waiting for me so they can monitor me. I always see them lurking around in the night sky every night like a pack of tigers, just staring at me from the sky. It's extremely eerie and awkwardly uncomfortable. Plus, they have GPS tracking technology that find you anywhere on the planet, and they will even follow me to a different state within the same day, it is such bullshit. If I could get these motherfuckers away, I could live a truly reserved life with privacy.

http://www.wkow.com/story/32509329/2016/07/Friday/strong-smell-of-cooked-urine-prompts-apartment-evacuation

>>18333536
Same.

Yeah this thread is sad and all but it isn't /x/.
>>>/r9k/

>>18333536
im afraid if i dont agree with you, youll kill me

>>18335135
29th and one else with the kinky sex fetishes and non stop boning

>>18338468
Holy shit, I forgot I asked you to post that, I'm so sorry. On the off chance you're still around I'll look at it now.


Chiron in the 8th speaks of early trauma at a young age, maybe a birth trauma or life-threatening illness surrounding you. Maybe someone close died when you were very young.
You may have trouble maintaining your financial flow and end up depending on others, in relationships you fear being vulnerable and this may manifest as control issues. Either you being very controlling or feeling as though your partner is too controlling.
With this also being in virgo, there is a tendency to be a bit hypochondriac.
You must learn to share your emotions in order to transcend them. You know transformation lurks behind disaster better than anyone.


Anyway the reason I was originally asking about chiron was because I was trying to find a correlation between chiron and isolating, but I think it's a bit more complex than that.

>>18332428


The few friends I have, either have gone abroad or were far away to begin with.

And I decided that since I don't have a life, I wasn't going to have any social contacts through the internet either since it was becoming a poor substitute of an actual life.

So I stopped logging into FB and such shit and stopped talking to the people I had made "friends" with over the internet.

And you know what? It made me feel better.

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>>18346664

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I feel as if in these times, I’m living a memory nearing annihilation, which is to say, nearing its end. Not to say I will die, but that this present form will. Who is to say life is not a memory? My self will return to its “present” moment, the next. It’s all out of order.

I have descended and ascended again and again a stairway between knowing what I was looking for, and not knowing that I was supposed to be looking at all… and the instance of this momentarily beheld capturing, the discovery of something, the search at its end, is felt like the power of song, a dream at the end of all dreams. A page of written words in such dreams have been like directions, instructions, in the escaping of the juxtaposition between distance, and fusion… distance from the spiritual origin of all reality and fusion with the other missing “side"–the face of revelation–of the self which one is one or the other until that moment of amnesia. It’s quite literally where the destruction of that world as I awaken has left me with a tangible piece of my own creation, shining with the voice of its own architecture, and melting from my hands, absolutely having assembled something I’ve never seen or imagined before from fragments of languages in my own tongue so that I can bring it back. But every time, it slips away.

I suspect, through experience, that we do not live our lives, but something else is living it through us. When we close our eyes, we pass through the gates of death and possibilities we were never beyond. And in rare instances, we touch the essence of Dream, something like its and our true purpose. What we occupy outside of it is a mystery to me, this life. Dream is the valley of the Quest, for that which we all seek, a jewel of the soul to be taken back to the “living” realm.

>>18332428
I've went through a year and a half of complete isolation, like virtually no human contact outside of the necessary 'you should atleast acknowledge the presence of that person' type. And the worst part is, it felt fucking great, i made a ton of progress in my spiritual practice. Now i'm back in society and the previous constant social anxiety is completely gone, i freely talk to people, made new friends, have a gf and overall basic normie shit seems way easier, like i'm a child again. The worst part was reconnecting with old friends that i havent spoken to in almost 2 years and repairing that connection felt very awkward, but they seem to like the way i've changed and we even hang out way more often than we used to. Overall, the experience of isolation gave me a 'don't give a fuck' attitude towards life, which seems likable to other people and i find myself with way more active social life than i've ever had or am used to.

>>18333830
>>18338434
>We are not special, or smarter than the others
How I miss being able to think like this. Regrettably, no, at the very least I can confidently say I am smarter than them. I say this after years and years of social interaction and pretension without much empathy to hold me over, and emotion aside, those people you deem shallow actually are, their social persona is everything they have to offer.

It's not a matter of having too much free time to read about random bullshit in order to educate yourself and properly comprehend or even deconstruct your environment. It's a matter of those people being entirely unable of critical thinking, and their choices in life leading them to an eternal sedation of dumb worries and superficial occupation coupled with outbursts of emotion for very simple problems that have clear answers.

Of course, I'm not going to describe myself as flawless, as I'm well aware I'm just an hypocritical liar that despite all revels in the most basic of pleasures and drowns in the most irrelevant of anxieties, but throughout the years I've been seeking to understand the inner thoughts of what I can only brand as "normies" and found most are blissfully unaware and entirely happy with the current status quo without caring too much about what comes after. In a way I feel jealous, as true happiness to them comes clearly, even if it's only an ephemeral diversion. I'm long past that point.

>>18343933
Same with me. I've been internalizing so much over the course of my entire teenage life that my introverted personality has become permanently wired that way now. I'm 21 now, and trying to learn the social culture of modern society and being able to fit in it seems like a another long and tedious, psychologically draining process that will take several more years. I think it was at age 18 after I left high school, that I really became trapped in my own mind.

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>>18333888
Praise KEK!

>>18332428
4chan is my only friend now
Ive cut off everyone :( i dont respong to texta or facebook messages

>>18332428
Very. I started off a stranger, but I still had a place. As I grew into adulthood I grew ever mo stranger, but still had a firm place. Then slowly as I no longer had a place in society I distanced myself from family, acquaintances, and society in general. Over the years from that point the friends that I did have all turned away, some due to my own strangeness, some due to my own hatred of them.

Last year one of my two remaining friends joined the Church and follows his faith more than ever, and I respect that. I have not spoken to him in months.

This year my remaining friend has become focused on corporate life. I respect that as well. I have spoken to him weekly, but not met in a month.

The only people I see are at work, in the supermarket, or at restaurants. This weekend I didn't go outside.

>>18332528
Same.

>>18333509
There is *always* a way to do something.


In this case, there are several online writing sites for US-based native English speakers. All you have to do is write articles to their customers' specs and they pay. If you have a good grasp of spelling, grammar, and basic article construction, you're golden for most of the year.

For the time of year that isn't "most" of it, there's always pasta.

Oh, and it should go without saying: Live somewhere CHEAP! Keep that rent and all other expenses nice and low!

>>18347161
This. The rest of the planet is made up of mental peasants and it's maddening.

>dumb worries
Not only that, they get all pissed off when you let them know how dumb their worries are. Yet remaining silent is like killing off your own brain cells.
>superficial occupation
The sick thing is, they really seem to use 100% of their meager mental RAM on such things, so for them, it's complete occupation.
>outbursts of emotion
This brings out my desire to commit genocide. I've found that in many cases, the "emotionality" is just a manipulation tactic. But whatever their reason for it, it just causes me to think of them as dim animals not worth listening to.
>true happiness comes to them clearly
Here's where I disagree. "Normies" strike me as a petty and miserable bunch.

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>>18333888

czeched

>>18349914
Well ignorance is a bliss after all

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>>18332428
At some point I refused to come out the hellhole that is my room unless I was absolutely certain my parents were away.
Would try to hold in any need to use the toilet on purpose. Surprised I gained no UTI's.
Checkmate normies I win this time.

>>18335966
Dont do it anon

>>18333529
Nothing but the truth.

>>18333536
Lolwut

>>18335966
My sunday morning just got interesting.

>>18350388
His first sentence is spot on, though. That's what this site has done to me, at least, i.e. anonymous meritocracy based on obscurely arbitrary value of the input. You are not even your post number, you are a singular instance of thought, nothing more.

>>18343933
Same here.
Getting outside feels like entering different reality.

>>18332977
Why are there so many birthdays on November 19th? Anyone else notice this?

Am new here, my birthday was yesterday too. My best friend didn’t know it was my bday until I told him. Parents almost forgot until mid day. Am not the type that really likes attention. Was feel down and still am. But meh whatever. I am also a loner. When people get close to me I tend to push them away. Most of the times I want to be alone. In tiny bouts I feel for company but then I don't. I feel a bit conflicted. I also feel no one understands. I don’t like to share how I feel. I maybe all smiles but deep inside am the opposite. Can't help it. I just don't trust people much which is why am l ike this. It is a struggle but I continue to push on this life even though I do feel disconnected a bit. Sorry am just rambling now. Carry on folks, I'll be here alone in the corner lurking.

well I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer

yeah I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer

the future's uncertain

the end is always near

my father died a few days ago and now that the wake and funeral are through with im realizing how alone i am. i wish i had spent more time with him. he asked me to go fishing a few times and to go out to watch the game with him, but i didn't go most times. i don't really have any friends anymore. i get along with people well enough but mostly they don't mean anything to me and i feign interest and sometimes will even watch a movie or show i sincerely hate just to be able to relate to people at work. but i dont derive any honest pleasure from anything or anyone, everything i do is hollow and arbitrary, i just do things because i know i should or i am supposed to. i do feel very sad, but not due to aloneness or solitude, just from constant regret and an excrutiating, unmitigated boredom with absolutely everything.

>>18352442
He died a few days ago. This is a part of mourning. Hang in there and pray to god buddy, you will be okay.

I quit a good paying programmer job 3 years ago... haven't been able to face going back into society. currently leaching off my wifes pay. am poor now.

>>18352465
thanks

>>18352442
I'm sorry for your loss, anon.

The other day I was surprised as I remembered my own name.

Not that I forgot it, just that it had been buried for quite a while and that sensation of remembering it was like finding money in an old jacket.

>>18333770
Just be careful not to let others catch you talking to it. I have this problem when I am playing thoughts I am enthusiastic with and it can get quite problematic.

Very

>>18332428
>yep

I might end it in 9 days... unless... though I don't expect it to truly end.

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>>18332967
I like your chart

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>>18332428
6 years without social contact; I'm ok.

>>18332428

I used to be really popular in school. It's like cocaine really, the rush of being someone "important". Now, 27, I feel the need to cultivate my self-image is just a means to an end and nothing more.

There was a time I got high everyday, hooked up on just about anything I could put my dick into, just to try and numb that burrowing hole inside of me.

Now I realize, that hole has become my friend. The abyss understands me. It's meaningless. I'm a million billion trillion pieces. I'm empty.

But I have learned to feel at will

>>18353390
Please don't.

you guys are awesome, the normies have nothing on us!

>>>/his/
>>>/his/
>>>/his/
>>>/his/

>>18353399
Thanks, ours are really similar wow. Where'd you make yours? It seems more detailed than mine.

>>18349921
This is a paradox of a pepe and makes no sense, delete it.

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>>18332428
More. I didn`t think it would be even possible.

>>18354048
They are aren't they. Nice to meet you.
It was made with http://www.psychicscience.org/astrochart.aspx
I'd recommend it and just click on any of the icons of the planets and stuff on the wheel and it will tell you something cool about it.

>>18354048
I also saw that you were born on the same day as me lol. But I was born at ten to one in the morning and in the UK

>>18354918
And birth year too of course

>>18332428
Is that a jojo reference?

>>18346496
...damn

>>18338431
>spent the money they earned

>wasted

Pick one.

not enough

>>18353399
I can see in your chart that you enjoy big dicks up yor arse and mouth simultaneously.

>>18334649
Can you clarify on this three spirits thing?

I'm not sure if I'm mentally ill or extra sensitive to sprits. I have me but behind my conscience is what I call my doppelgänger.
He is identical to my physically but he is the yin to my yang morally. We argue and agree/disagree with each other quite often. He is less empathetic, less fear, MUCH better at lying, but is selfish and lack control over temper. He is also cruel.
Then there is what i refer to as "the lady".
She is silent, but sometimes i can feel her thoughts. She is behind my doppelgänger's conscience.
She is loving and nurturing. She hugs and embrace so me when I'm afraid, cold, upset, or when I want her too.
I feel like there is something out there that explains this

I think being heavily isolated has maybe damaged my brain. I am never present and am always an observer when I'm in another's rare presence. It feels like no matter how alive my surrounding is, I'm never a part of it, just watching it and always in a dreamlike state even when I'm surrounded by people. My mind is slow when it comes to speech, I have trouble stringing together sentences as smoothly as others and I'm scared to look people in the eyes.

Been heavily isolated for the last 10 years, and some before then.

>>18332428
Extraordinarily. I hardly even think about other people as something it's possible to socialize with anymore.

>>18333888
You must be talking OLD fucking /pol/. Nu/cancer/ sure as hell didn't teach you that, unless you just learned it from observing the subhuman morlocks that troll that board now.

>>18333536
Pynchon?

>>18354020
Shut up, faggot.

>>18355463
Not my arse no but thanks I guess they're alright

>>18356195
i'm sorry you feel that way

>>18338569
At the beggining of the industrial revolution the population on the whole globe was about 1.8 billion, and in the early days of the 20th century it was about 3.5 if i remember correctly. So its not 1000℅ but about 200℅

t. historian

>>18349817

I've heard of these sites, but never found any really good ones. Also what do they pay you in? Bitcoin or Paypal or something?

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>>18336592

McDonald's won't even let me make their fucking fries.

Also my NEETBux might be getting cut off. I held a "temp job" for a few months (was easy as hell, just long hours and mind numbing), but eventually they cut my position since I was a temp, and the agency never called me back.

I followed all the rules, such as sending in my paystubs, staying under the allowed amount to work, etc. But apparently and yes, a """""""Government Agency""""""" told me this "We were short handed and didn't get around to your papers in time. You owe us 2000 dollars and now we're taking away your benefits"

So because a damn fucking loser can't open a god damn piece of mail or answer a fucking phone in a call center, I get fucked?

I've appealed and my disability counselor says that I've been approved, but when I call SSA they say it hasn't yet been decided.

If I don't get back on NEETBux, I'll have to off myself. That's my only source of income. And I don't trust temp agencies anymore, especially when they lie to you and say you willl be hired on full time, then when it's your turn, suddenly the position is no longer needed.

Anyway, I rarely leave my apartment. Maybe once or twice a week. No car, so have to walk everywhere or take the bus. Sucks in winter.

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>>18356608

>>18332957
literally me

>>18356639
That's really nice. It's so green. I want to take a nap there.

>>18356639
it really is kinda inviting

>>18356608
I've had the opposite thing happen to me, oddly enough. I tried to send them my work stubs and met more than one obstacle to doing so. I don't know why, except not knowing if they ever got any of the stubs. They stopped the money and then after realizing I stopped working, resumed it. I did make an effort to get to the office and waited for 3 hours to talk to someone. I never did. After that, I got back pay for what they claim they "owed me" after doing some calculating. Still don't know why they didn't cut me off completely, because i had a job briefly. Right now, I'm living off that money and the nest egg I built from when I was working. I don't know what job I want to do now, except cart collecting. I don't ever want to do that again.

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>>18356639

Are you implying I go off grid? I was thinking of doing that somewhat. I know I'd need some type of income. Maybe I could find random jobs here and there.

I'd still want my laptop and phone, so I could use the phone for a hotspot when I can't find Public Wifi. But Public Wifi seems to be popping up everywhere. Truckstops, gas stations, hell, I've even been to backwater shithole campgrounds that offer public wifi.

I have about 4000 saved up, so I was thinking of trying to track down a VW Westfailia, and live out of that. I've watched lots of Youtube videos on people who do that.

I also once saw a book in a bookstore, I can't remember the name, and I know it won't help but the Author's first name was "Nick". It was all about living off grid. A lot of it was about sleeping in either a cheap camper or Camper/Van and going to truck stops or campsites.

Found it:
https://www.amazon.com/Off-Grid-Movement-Government-Independence/dp/0143117386

This was it. But it appears he just talks about his expriences. Not actually how to do it.

Maybe this might be better:
https://www.amazon.com/Living-Off-Grid-Maintaining-Self-Reliant/dp/B00LVLUML4

But this one talks more about solar panels and such, not travelling around like a vagrant gypsy.

Any suggestions for books that deal with this? Youtube videos?

>>18355680
I miss the days when I would come to /x/ or /pol/ and become legitimately scared and paranoid.

>>18332428
not much, everyday i lurk imageboards with ocasionally posting, just like now

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>>18356608
>living in a country where guberment pays you for existing

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>>18332977

>>18347161
that´s my main doubt.
isn't that blissfulness what we should be striving for? The innocence lost is never returned.
We exchanged bliss for knowledge, and knowledge is power, power is corruption.

>>18332428
way too much, I was really social, have friends, go out, have a work, then I dont know why I start to stay at home, leave my job, i just see my friend one day per month and im afraid of going out more and more

>>18336550
Perfect reaction. Seriously sent me into a few minute long laughing fit.

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I always suspected that the majority of /x/philes had some form of cluster A personality disorder, this thread is only proof

>>18349924
Oh, it really is.

>>18347089
10/10 very nice

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Being happy with being alone is extremely different from the inability to acquire and maintain social relationships.

I find that even though I don't interact with any almost any of my friends from adolescence that I do interact with a lot of random people whether it be on forums, irc channels, video games, places like 4chan or just from walking around in my city.

Appreciate how many people there are in this world because if you lived in an age where everything was tribal if nobody liked you you were extremely fucked.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3u7mNTG09g

>>18352089
valentines day + human incubation period brings you to the middle of November
every couple makes sexy time on valentines

>>18332428

Almost never hang out with people, spent last five years on my own when not working/studying. However, at the same time I get along great with almost anybody I meet, people tend to like me for the most part

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>>18333536
true dat

>>18346663
Oh wow thank you, you're probably not around anymore but everything you wrote is really accurate. There is nothing i'd disagree with, it's almost scary.

>>18332428
Isolated from everything,everyone,myself