ITT: we live in the pokemon world

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>>29286685

just fucked my blaziken

My Ballio is fucking awesome and can defeat every one of your Pokemon, kiddo.

I love my Roothoot

FEMALE WRESTLER CAT BEST CAT

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hewllo i am good ice cream man please route 4 4 hugs

I heard this board is getting shut down. How long will we be able to keep this up?

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That cerulean gym leader is a total slut i hear.

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is there a safe way to teach an espeon precise knife throwing? it is for a school performance

Guys I did one of those stupid rituals and now this Dusknoir will not get the fuck out of my house.

>>29286991
Have a Ghost-type be it's trainer. No chance of getting hurt.

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>tfw too poor to buy pokéballs.
>so haven't pokémon.
No one wants to give me de pokédollars??

why doesn't Maylene answer my fanmail about how much i love her bare feet

>>29286685
How do I root my Porygon-2?

I am leaving to Alola. What pokemon should i illegally..ops... i mean legally catch there?

>>29287148
How the fuck you don't have 200 pokedollars? That's less than kids get from their parentds daily for school meals. Get a damn job you autistic hikkineet.

>>29287169
Because she doesn't read fanmail.

>>29287148
if you dont do battling or go on a journey, you could just as well keep them without a ball

i want to be the very best

>>29287214
then what happens to the mail in the PO box i've been sending it to

who is reading my letters

Like dude what if Pokemon were posting right now, would that be the craziest?

>>29287178
install a nude mod

>>29287221
>>29287197
Should I join the team Rocket ?

>>29287235
hey get in line pal

>>29287238

She collects fanmail, but only to fuel a furnace in her gym's basement.

>>29287272
Just go to your closest professor and beg for a job. They usually take random neets like you as aides. Rumors say that this is Oak started and look at him now.

>>29287272
no

stupid fucks like you just get caught and raped in jail

>>29287148
>Don't have enough to buy Poke Balls
>You can make enough to buy 4 of them in an hour
What a shit bait.

>>29287295
:(

but i love her feet. maybe i should show up in person...

>>29287238
She has her Gym Trainers take care of most of them. She is one of the more popular Gym Leaders in Sinnoh.

>>29287348
Well, it's easy to understand why. Just look at her feet!

>>29287178
Start by getting a TM31 ready or it might fucking die. Porygon-2 can be overcloked into Porigon-Z but only with the right patch, so don't try anything fishy without running it by a Metagross to simulate.

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here's a question which famous female trainers are probably rocking implants and what ones are au natural.

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>>29287380
Or the fact that she's a Gym Leader at such young age. Kids love her.
Not that I don't agree with you. Her feet look delicious.

>>29286685
there is a lurantis sitting in my flowerbed RIGHT NOW

so i wanted to ask if they make good pets because my grand-grandson wants to become a trainer , and i am getting a spare ball ATM

>>29287455
Maylene is best pokegirl.

what's with the sudden influx of footfags

I gotta admit I had my doubts about moving to Sinnoh but man oh man has it been great. These Bidoofs are everywhere they can use all the HMs from my old trainer days and they took to having a use outside of HM slave like mad trying to prove themselves. Bidoof Builders is going to be the top construction company in the entire Sinnoh region within 5 years mark my words.

>>29287548
one of us
one of us

>>29287548
If you lived in Alola, you'd understand.

>>29286724
how much chloroform did you apply

>>29287509
first step:
tell him to NEVER EVER let sex happen because it will eat his head midway through
second step:
get him something else because with a lurantis and a male trainer, sex will always happen. get him a ralts or something.

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My girlfriend wants to import a yungoos because we don't have room for a furret. How do I convince her they're not the same thing?

Pic related, we have a shuckle already. They're great for getting rid of leftovers and don't need much room.

>>29288471
do you use it to make booze

>>29288583
I use my chandelure to cook meth does that count?

>>29288872
you shouldnt do that

unless your complices are equipped with suficient protection, that is.

>>29288872
Holy shit Anon, that's really dangerous. Chandelures take years off your life!

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I love my Toukipek

Guys help my Lopunny is in heat and has been showing me his ass alot

what do I do?

>>29290312
release it

>>29290312
get him some stuff from badDragonite unless you want to deal with it yourself.

>>29290312
Spanking is the only way. If they associate an action with pain they'll be to scared to do it.

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>>29290312
nani?

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My mawile just had some kids, and they keep trying to bite through everything around them, can I get them teething rings or something?

My cousin bought her Alolan Muk and we let him and my Gardevoire play while we discussed buying a place in Kalos together.

It was...
Disgusting

Tl;dr what do with a technicolor ralts

>>29290504

Goomy pillows might work, they have a neat new process of turning old spent Sligoo slime into a toy that doesnt make a mess. Good investment in my book

>>29290375
Poke-confessions!

My favorite BadDragonite Dildo is the Garchomp Hemipenes

My Shuppet keeps scaring the neighborhood children. I think she's going to evolve into a Banette soon. Any tips to keep her from eating them when she does?

>>29290898
Easy- let her do it. Children are a waste of space anyways.

On an unrelated note, is anyone familiar with Miniors? My parents just got one and it's bouncing all around their house making a mess.

>be me
>camping party innawoods
>also be wasted as fuck
>make a bet with my pal that i dare to touch the fluffy tail of an equally wasted wild ninetales

i ended up doing it , 1 week later and there is no sign of something like a curse , not that i have noticed at least.
am i fucked or safe?

>>29287261
haha yeah right, maybe behind this screen there's a mewtwo typing! :3

>>29287721
>still needs chloroform

casual

Hey Guys, have you heard of these UB things? So weird, all people say that we threaten the pokemon world, but it is not true. Ultra Beasts can easily coexist with humans and pokemon, trust me

>>29291247
are you an UltraBeast anon?

>>29291247
t. Alien

>>29291247
fuck off extradimensional niggers, we are full

>>29291247
You have to go back.

>>29291247
Nah, I think they wanna kill us and shit.

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>>29286685
Hey guys, did I deserve a mega?

>>29290341
Nice try, Mr. N, Nice try

>>29291467
yes
You also deserve Dragon Dance

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>>29288471
fixed

>>29291406
>>29291362
You are just mad that these wondrous creatures are better than you in every way.
>Swole
>Sexy
>Strong as fuck
>Big probo-, uh I mean dick
Yeah we humans should just accept our new kings.

>>29291247
how about no

>>29290632
i have a whole arsenal that i dont use by myself, but for the 80+ mons that i get paid for to examine and study.
taking that job and collecting dex info was fucking bullshit and i regret it till today.
well, at least i have my old trusty vaporeon to replace the role of my girlfriend, since my job makes me a glorified pokehorder with no chance at actual human interaction.

>>29290607
I tried those, they tore them open and spread the slime all over my couch.

Now I need a new couch and something to distract them.

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>>29286685
I'm married to Emma and we would be partners and solve cases.

>>29290312
>>/solaceon/

You give sinnohians a bad name

Guys help my salandit keeps farting and it's making my entire house stink, what do i do?

>>29292131
is it female? the females do crazy things with the gas that comes out of them.

>>29292165
It is female yes... should i be worried? i have been feeling a little light headed lately.

>>29287261
There's no way pokemon can type. I mean, we can't even read.

>>29292201
This is going where I thought it would

Fucking feed it bitter flavored berries. It'll dehydrate it a bit and lower the phermones it releases

Or you're a sick fuck who wants attention.

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>>29292201
Don't breath that shit in man. I heard Salandit gas can really fuck with people. Human and Pokemon alike.

>>29292201
yes, you should be. I've heard that they can control men with their pheramons

>walked in on mom fucking my machoke again

>mom found the cum stains on kirlia

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So my garchomp has been getting really violent in battles lately, to the point of still attacking other pokemon after the battle's won. I don't want to get arrested for anything, any suggestions on how to calm him down?

>>29292348
>mom found the cum stains on kirlia
You're supposed to have your pokemon clean themselves buddy.

>>29292392
Dude, do you let him take naps? They get violent if they don't sleep enough

>>29292283
>>29292249
OH FUCK OH FUCK THAT EXPLAINS ALL OF THE DREAMS I'VE BEEN HAVING OF FUCKING MY SALANDIT IM TAKING HER BACK TO POKESMART

>>29292447
I almost never leave the guy in his ball, so he get's plenty of free time to sleep and play. to be honest I think the guy's horny and frustrated, but I'm not familiar with Garchomp breeding seasons.

>>29290312
Don't worry man, its a distress signal. Have you been to a local pokemon center? They could probably give it some medication. Back when i started training pokemon i had a lopunny who did this all the fucking time. I regret those days

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>>29291247
Is this a UB? Showed up in my yard a few days ago. Had some kid with a pokedex try to identify it but nothing showed up. From Alola if that helps

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Hey guys, I'll be coming to and living in Unova as part of my placement for University. I'm from a far off region and I've only ever visited Unova once when I was young. Any must see sights you'd recommend?

My Stoutland will be coming with me alongside the rest of my team. I'll be taking on the league while I'm there. Thing is I'll be coming over via plane, and my Stoutland always stays out of her Pokéball- will they let her travel with me in the cabin? I figure I'll have to buy her a seat, she gets nervous when I leave her alone for too long.

>>29292612
Yeah, I recommend you get him a mate ASAP. I have seen a lot of Dragon type related incidents involving frustrated pokemon during mating seasons.

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Orrefag reporting. I got this Oricorio from some weird dude with an afro. It fucking despises me and uses weird moves. Someone help

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>one month ago
>find a drowzee stumbling around in the grass hypnotizing the local ralts and kirlia into doing stupid shit
>on a whim, throw a great ball at it, catches it in one hit
>raise and train it until a couple days ago when it evolved into a Hypno
>train it to hypnotize people and pokemon into doing our bidding
>all of a sudden yesterday after an intense training session with some wild gardevoirs he suddenly decides to fuck off and go fucking around with random wild pokemon
>hasn't listened to me since
>mfw I remember I only have 2 badges

>>29292392
Experiences with Garchomp may vary. When mine is ever an aggressive bitch I sit her down and massage her.

Massages below the shoulder blades are by far the best way to calm them down and remove tension. Garchomp cannot reach back there and their aggression is let loose like a fucking cannon. Oil can help if it has rough skin but literally only behind the shoulder blades should you massage them. If they trust you, they'll let you back there and of course it will calm them down.

>>29292794
>>29292914
Will do. I've had the guy for a few years now so I'm sure he trusts me and there are a lot of folk with gyrados out there, and I'm sure one of them has to be a female looking to breed.

Guys I glued my Bagon's feet to the ceiling in his sleep as a joke.

I think he seriously thinks he's flying since he just sits their in bliss, and tries to attack me every time I touch him.

Did I fuck up?

>>29292714
Haha, aw fuck man, someone shaved that Swanna

>>29293034
Let him know you're the boss but dont be aggressive as he is.

Its tough but the difference between a good Garchomp owner and a bad one is their spine. If you can stick up for yourself they won't tear your neck out and will actually come to respect you.

Its an Alpha mentality, you don't need to out strengthen them but you do need to showcase some form of authority. You also, like an Alpha, need to show compassion and leadership and get on his good side.

>>29293105
Pokemon Cruelty shall not be tolerated.

>>29293105
Dude why the fuck would you do that? Glue takes fucking forever to get off those bastards.

>>29293137
He hasn't even tried moving.

I feel like its crueler to take him down

>>29293161
I hate to say this, but you're gonna have to get someone to knock it out. Those things will attack anyone that is near if it is angry. Its pokeball won't do shit either.

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Hey, so I just just chilling in my own dimension ruling space and shit when my creator decides to go to the human's dimension and just fucking obliterate it and start from scratch. All my hard work just trashed. I don't know what he was thinking but I'm just gonna stay out of it.

>>29293263
literal who?

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In all my years on this planet I never thought I'd encounter a dragon more full of itself than a Salamance. Then I decided it would be a fun idea to raise a Hydreigon, whoowee was I mistaken. (On Salamance being the end all be all of stuck up Pokemon, not the fun to raise a Hydreigon part. It's always fun to break in one of these high and mighty types.)This tough old bastard thinks he's the king of the world. I can't say I blame him, he sure looks the part. However, I think I've made some progress, at least now he looks at me when I talk to him. Maybe I'll be able to stop him from snapping at strangers soon. He nearly took off my buddy Bill's hand the other Day.

>be me
>i C ame from Kanto to Alola
>Check the mail
>Lolwut.jpg
>Someone let me a Greninja with a letter
>the letter had no sender
>A Black guy wanna have a pokebattle with me
>Whynot.png
>I defeated one of his pokemon with my awesome Greninja
>surprisingly my Greninja is shinning
>Yfw now have Black hair and a red/white head
Yfw now is more powerfull
someone does the same thing happened?, It's just Crazy, when this happen i remembered the volcanos, and because this i call him Ash - Greninja, like the volcanos ash

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>>29293403
My dragon keeps talking at me in some strange language and eating people's souls.

>>29293403
Did you raise him from an egg or at least from a Deino? It's generally easier to get along with them if you've been with them for a long time.

>>29293263
Yeah and my dad works at Silph Co. Go roleplay somewhere that cares about your little cult for gullible grandmas, nobody follows that shit any more.

>>29293464
What?
That's BS - Greninjas can't change like that.

Next you'll be telling me you got a Mega Braclet as soon as you came to the region.

My pokemon don't like going to the local pokemon center closest to my house, I have to go to the next closer one.

>>29294340
Why?

>>29294475
They always get scared of it whenever we get too close, it's also one of those older model places that hasn't had any renovations in a while.

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This little faggot keeps eating my clothes. How do I get him to stop, I'm starting to worry because I only have three shirts and a sock left.

>>29296086
not an expert on bugs myself, but look up a recomended diet for him. you might not be giving him the right nutrients.

Shit shit shit, can pokemon get pregnant with human sperm? I just fucked my Roserade's pristine plant pussy and didn't pull out.

Have any of you guys actually seen a legendary pokemon before?

>>29287148
everyone must have a starter, otherwise how could you even begin? so the shit kids you first encounter out your home town are just given a rattata to start while you get some exclusive primo shit. most people just use pokemon as tools. gym trainers are just otaku for that type. it makes sense that if you lived in a world where pokemon were apart of everyday life the prospect of being a master trainer isn't that appealing.

>>29296290
I've heard rumors of that happening with things in the human like egg group, but outside of that you should be fine.

>>29296290
Her egg group is fairy and grass so cum inside all you want

>>29296271
I'd grow some flowers and plants around the house for it but I suffer from botanophobia.

>>29296291
Well, a bunch of Genesect wrecked my city a couple of years ago, and then Mewtwo showed up to fight them...so yeah.

>>29296290
Pretty sure that only happens with 'mons in the Human-Like egg group.

>>29293577
*tips fedora*
Dont you have to dispense your wisdom about having to use pokemon you dont like to win or something?

Hey guys, Alola native here, just started journeying around Kanto. My exeggutor seems to be a bit under the weather however, as the sunlight here isn't nearly as strong as it is back home. What should I do?

>>29296499
I heard there are ninetails that cause stronger sunlight. try finding one of those.

>>29296499
Does it know Sunny Day?

>>29296499
I'd imagine you would want to live in a warmer climate. I would reccomend Cinnabar Island if it hadnt been destroyed by a volcanic eruption almost a decade ago. Your only other option is vermilion city

>>29296548
I've heard of those too. I'll definitely look into that!

>>29296556
No, but I have a flareon that does. The only problem is that it gets tired out fast, and it doesn't last too long either.

>>29296607
It sounds like he would love that, but I plan on exploring as much of Kanto as I can.

>>29296607
>Cinnabar
Actually, that reminds me. Remember that old Mansion, the one that got burned down way before the eruption? I heard rumors that they created Mewtwo there, and that it burned the place down as it escaped. Anyone ever prove or disprove that before the whole island was destroyed?

>>29296818
No, he did NOT burn down the lab.

He caused an electrical surged that caused some of the equipment to blow up and that caused the fire.

Not his fault Team Rocket doesn't know what fuses are.

Bonjour de Kalos! I just closed escrow on a charming old house outside of Laverre City, and I'm thinking of opening a cafe for the trainers that frequent the Laverre Nature Trail (Route 14, for those non-locals).

>>29296425
I'm certain Mewtwo is deeply sorry for the damage caused to your home.

>>29296291
Plenty. Including mew.

>>29296086
Nigger I'll take it, I've always wanted a Larvesta. Which region do you live? I've got a bunch of other bug pokes I could trade.

>>29296472
Well I'm sorry I don't believe in the giant white tropius in the sky, praise be unto his technicolor normal ass.

>he doesn't like pokemon that win
Bet you sit in your parents' one room house making poffins all day, you beta karp.

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>>29296291
I own this fat fuck.

He's not so "legendary" as much as he eats oranges and lays around the mansion. Outside of that, the only legendaries I've had the luxury of seeing are potentially Uxie near where I live, Raikou in my trip to the Johto region, and I personally think I hallucinated but in my trip to Kalos, I thought I spotted Latios.

>>29287148
200 pokedollars is literally $2 dipshit

>>29298687
>tfw you've ridden on Latios and noone will ever EVER believe you, ever.

I can't believe I fucking lost that flute.

Anyone catch that Pyukumuku-Bob Squishpants last night?

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>>29298804
>Riding Latios

What did it feel like?

I've ridden on Staraptor, Noivern and Pidgeot to get around

Who else here runs a farm? Something keeps on eating my Mareep when I'm not looking. I don't know how the hell they break into my barn. What kind of Pokemon could it be and how do I make them fuck off?

>>29298945
A dragon is like dropping a nuke to kill a durant but it solves the problem.

Starmie/Staryu work as fantastic scouts. They never need to sleep and their ranged capabilities will protect the Mareep.

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Why are Jynxes so lewd?

I'm fucking sick of these goddamn invisible coin blocks and stealth rocks in these shitty rom hacks of Super Pikachu World

Be creative for once, jesus.

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I wanna date Glacia!

>>29299314
Who?

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Guys, how can I stop my Delphox from levitating my shit? At first it was harmless, y'know, he was just moving lamps, rugs, small things, now he's moving my couches, the fridge, Arceus above, he floated me out of my bed once. Is this common?

>>29299612
Pokeballs exist for a reason anon.

It's also possible you're not giving him enough mental exercise, battle with him more.

>>29299612
Pokeballs can work as a "grounded" idea.

Its a way for psychics to let go of a little excessive energy. My own Delphox can do that every now and then but she usually uses it when multi-tasking. (She reads alot of books)

>>29299785
>Letting your pokemon read

Nigger no, that's when they start think they're too smart for you and will stop following orders. I had a friend who let their Alakazam read and he just fucking up and left him because he thought he was smarter then to be with their trainer.

>>29299702
>>29299785
Pokeballs, right. I just usually keep him out, y'know? I've only got 2 mons, so I just let them around and about the house.

But anyway, excessive energy, huh? Battling can help him calm down the floating things, then? Alright, thanks for the info, guys.

My Starmie keeps flashing lights the night sky for some reason, does anyone know what is going on?

>>29299943
Signaling aliens like from the Delta Incident

Return it to its Poké Ball

>>29299943
Put that thing in it's pokeball NOW.

It's trying to signal aliens, have you heard about the stories of those Ultra Beast? They're apparently aliens.

>>29287272
Fuck no, team skull 4 lyfe.

>>29300016
>>29299977
Ok that sounds like a very good idea i don't want any Ultra Beasts around my house

>>29299860
Remember my Garchomp comment earlier?

Its about being an alpha. Don't treat your pokemon like shit but constantly have an air, let them know YOU are the one in charge. If a pokemon can read, they can learn and help. It helps develop their ability to learn new things.

Pokemon being able to read is a basic right honestly. I didn't teach them to write as much as know the difference between a Combusk-fil-a and a Arboky's

>>29299943
Thats natural. Starmie have that capability like Natural Cure and Camoflauge.

>>29300090
Oh ok its natural for a Starmie to do that.

>>29300073
Anon ultra beasts are not real...

>>29300134
Yeah. Its an ability.

>>29300140
They are, they've been seen in Alola, shit's gonna go down there soon, for sure. Maybe by the end of next month! You can feel the tension building all the way from Orre.

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Hey guys, I've been having awful nightmares recently. They're all really fucked up, and I've been trying to avoid sleep because of them. Every time I'm falling asleep or just wake up, I see a figure lurking in the shadows. I drew a rough sketch of it. Anyone have any advice? This is starting to become a serious problem.

>>29300448
Live near Canalave in Sinnoh? Buy one of those Lunar Wings vendors sell to ward off bad dreams. Think there's an old folktale about a mythical Pokémon that causes nightmares.

You're pretty lucky in general, though. According to the myth, you're not supposed to wake up.

>>29300448
It was nice knowing you, anon. Those dreams can kill. Unless you find one of those ultra rare Lunar Wings, you're going to fall asleep, never to wake up again.

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>>29300448
Its Darkrai. Thats an old tale around here in Sinnoh. I never saw it myself but occasionally one's in the area for a day or two and causes mass nightmares. (THANK ARCEUS, Zygarde doesn't seem to be influenced by it)

Poor thing.

Get a lunar wing just to be on the safe side.

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>>29300569
They only used to be rare, they're sold in gift shops these days. Especially in places like Canalave. You got to be sure you're not just being sold a Pretty Wing, though. Fakes are rampant.

>>29300600
>>29300569
>>29300527
>>29300448
You people are paranoid there is no such thing as Darkrai and no lunar wing is going to protect you from your fantasies. Just take some sleeping pills,go to bed earlier and relax there is nothing to worry about.

>>29300600
>>29300569
>>29300527
Thanks for the help. I always assumed the lunar wings were just worthless old charms. I'll look into buying one. I don't know how hard it'll be to get one in Kalos, but hopefully if nothing else I could get one online or something.

>>29300667
Did you not read my post? I acknowledge it exists but it's not as big a deal as some make it out to be. Its still a Pokemon, its just not evil.

>>29300670
They're worth it. A little pricey but in Darkrai native lands, they can mean alot.

>>29300707
You're being ridiculous I don't exist

>>29300782
How do I delete posts ?

>>29300670
In Kalos? Where, exactly? Darkrai are rare in general, even rarer in Kalos, so I'm sure a lot of trainers would love to get their hands on it.

>>29300782
People might've taken your word for it a hundred or so years ago, but now you even have a PokéDex entry. There's no denying your existence.

>>29300782
Why doesn't your spooky nightmare stuff work on my Zygarde?

He has been unphased in the three times you've visited Snowpoint since I got him.

>>29300945
I live in Anistar City. I don't know how this thing would be caught, but maybe if someone wants to catch it, one of the psychics could help. I don't know though, just an idea.

>>29301158
Just to add to this, I live in South Anistar, not too far from the pokecenter

Has anyone ever met professor juniper? Is she nice?

>>29301158
The main reason not many people have it is because it is rare. It's strong, but it is just a wild Pokemon, in the end. I would love to catch it myself.
Getting my team ready and looking for a Psychic Pokemon to teleport me there.

>>29301279
Well, she is "nice", but other than, didn't notice anything special about her.

What with this Kantoniggers influx in Johto? Go back to your poor ass region already!

Has anyone noticed how strange the climate in Kalos is because around route 13 is a desert and Laverre city seems to allays be in autumn?

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>>29301399
>>29301279
She's very nice

>>29301279
The lady who prescribed me medical weed looks a lot like her. She made me take my jacket off to take my blood pressure.

Just got a national dex and wondering, why do Kanto mons go first?

>>29301831
The Pokédex was invented in Kanto. It's just then being Kantocentric.

>>29293488
That's not a Pokemon anon. Also, you need to shout back at it.

My Hawlucha has become conceited recently. It refuses to fight unless I play entrance music for it, and even then it needs to be the right entrance music. It didn't like Rey Mysterio's theme. Any suggestions?

>>29302333
JOHN CENA

>>29302399
He destroyed the speakers when I tried that.

Fuck, you guys hear about the leaks for gen 6 animonsters? They fucking ruined mouse when it evolves into capybara, but I'd fuck the shit out of dolphin my new waifumal

>>29287335
Why dont you challenge her to pokemon battle and make her let you worship her feet as reward?

>>29302432
Digimon is better.

>>29302424
Try Randy Orton's theme then. Or Sin Cara's.

HILLARY CLINTON IS AN ULTRA BEAST

>>29302477
>Sin Cara's
Because I really want High-Jump Kick to miss every time. Would Bobby Roode's work?

Also, best way to get Muk slime out of a Rufflet's feathers?

>>29302489
UB-10 "Turd Sandwich"

>>29302549
And Donald Trump is UB-11 "Giant Douche".

i am doing HEMA and since lately, my mienshao took an interest in it after taking her with me on some grappling and dagger drills.

i want to teach it some stuff since it would be pretty helpful for protection against wild pokemon.
i already have a pretty sturdy wooden longsword i can give her.
problem is, finding a suitable sparring partner, since she managed to dislocate my shoulder despite sparring armour and using a flabby nylon sword.

>>29287449
Sabrina is all natural, I can tell you that. No artificial enchantment of any kind.

My girlfriend is pregnant. She wouldn't tell me who the father is for a long time, but I demanded a blood test. As it turns out, it was her Sylveon. She claims it was rape. I'm not so sure, since she refuses to prosecute or release him. So now she has an egg in her stomach the size of a football, rapidly growing to the size of an Eevee.

>>29302678
>Egg in her stomach

HUMAN BIOLOGY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY

>>29302435
i don't think the rules allow for such a thing!

>>29302678
c-sektion unavoidable

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>>29302678
Just put her in your PC. Its what I do when I get unwanted babies so theyre never born.

I'm not sure whether to use my Fire Stone on Eevee or use the Water Stone...I like how Flareon looks so fluffy but Vaporeon looks so cool...Which should I go for? I'm not going for Jolteon since I don't have a Thunderstone on me.

>>29303536
if you use it in battles: vaporeon
if you use it for cuddles: flareon

if you want to bone it like the majority here, either way has its pros and cons

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>>29302678
>pokémon
>a creature with no genitals and a truly unknown way of breeding
>raping a human
>egg
>growing inside a human
anon, you and I both know that's not how it works

>>29304207
it is almost like you get your anatomical knowledge from children shows and games.

last time we checked, my leafeon does have a dork

>>29291247
This is some /x/ shit.

>>29292005
>Marriying hobos.

Have some dignity, anon.

>>29302735
Humans produce eggs and pokemon semen is highly dense and calcium rich, the membrane of the semen interacting with an ova creates a shell to compensate for the rapid gestation of Pokemon in the wild.

Of course the egg doesn't grow in the stomach. He was being colloquial - the eggs develop in the vagina.

>>29302678
I call bullshit anon.

Everybody knows Pokemon Eggs just...appear. Nobody knows where they come from.

I'm afraid your GF is lying to you and you got cucked.

>be on vacation in alola
>driving late at night
>all of a sudden two fuckers wearing masks jump out of the bushes on the side of the road in front of my car
>they demand I get out and give them my pokémon
>get out and pull a gun on the two fuckers
>they book it back into the woods
goddamn pussy wiggers, fight like men

Can we all agree Kanto is the worst place to visit?

>Barely any interesting landmarks
>Over-urbanisation leaving barely any natural sights. Not even interesting architecture.
>Cut their forest, and took years to regrow.
>Somehow Hoenn has less problems with volcanic eruptions. An entire city just destroyed like that!
>Most of the Pokemon they brag are unique to their region can easily be found anywhere else.
>Stole Exeggutor from Alolans and whine their is the original.
>Their Champion fled his responsibilities after gaining the title, leaving that faggot Lance in charge.
>Their Power Plant is a joke. Some fucker from..what was that name again? Team Ricket? Something like that, was able to fuck the power grid by stealing a piece like candy from a baby.
>With Game Corners closed across the world, Celadon City probably went to shit.

Johto has the cultural sights, Hoenn has spring baths and nice beaches, Sinnoh is great for ski and snowboarding, Unova has a lot of spectacles to see and Kalos has some good cafes.

Kanto has jack shit.

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>>29304463
>Hoenn has spring baths and nice beaches
and women
don't forget the women

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>>29304492
Damn right. Dat Flannery, saw her go into the spring baths once. Best day ever.

there is some kinda blackfaced white cat with an emo bang and a horn sitting in front of my kitchen window right now.

it smears its nose against the glass and gives me a pretty nervous look. probably wants my ravioli.

are they difficult to catch with nothing but a net and a stick?

>>29305236
Have you eaten the ravioli?

>>29305250
i am about to

what are you on about

Hey guys, I've been walking through a cave couple days back, and I'm pretty sure I saw a green zubat.
Could that be possible? I swear zubats are blue, any idea what could that be?

>>29305532
it's radioactive
shoot it down before it poisons the foodchain

>>29305547
No way I'd find it again, the cave's fucking huge, plus I'm already half the region away from it.
Oh well, it was probably nothing important.

>at work
>see dead pidoves all the time
>have to throw them in the skip
Heartbreaking.

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Serperior's pussy is so tight and feels so good when she's coiled around me

>>29305577
Try to find local hobos, and tell them there's a fuckton where you work, you have no idea how much food they can make from one dead pidove, and having local hobos on your side can be useful.

Does anyone know how many minior colors there are because i can only find 7

>>29305612
that's nice, but nothing special you could boast about.

almost everyone can get some pokepussy if they want to

>>29305709
If you have paint, an infinite.

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Jesus fucking christ why are some Pokemon so fucking needy?

I'm trying to make the stupid starfish train so it'll ruin the fucking fire gym for me and fucking Manectric won't stop whining for attention. Really needs to fuck off back to it's box and sleep already.

We had a Herdier growing up and it wasn't a needy little shit, 'cos if it was dad would kick it in the face and it'd go lie down somewhere.

How am I supposed to get to the finals with Pokemon that want pats and shit? I'm going to be the fucking champion, not some fucking daycare employee.

>>29305924
Give me the Manectric, you ass. It deserves better than your neglect.

>>29287455

Good thing there are plenty of excuses to take pictures.

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>>29305981
Fuck you asshole that stupid fucking dog is what it is because of me, you just want my strong Pokemon so you'll have a shortcut to the top. No fuck you I made it get back on it's feet and train every time it owes everything to me. It's mine.

>>29305924
>>29306399

at least we know you'd get send to the hospital if keep going like this.

try being an abusive ass to a fully evolved dragon type. it's fun as long as the pokeball is within your reach.

>>29290604
Use it

>>29298878
Mr. Crabrawler has gotten pretty flanderized.

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Guys, I need help. I go a Chimchar when I was eleven, now I'm 20. Yesterday, my Infernape took some kind of fucking major mood swing, and started disobeying me! Seriously, did I do something wrong? Like what the fuck? Is this some second Puberty shit? His newly-found aggression gets even worse when he's at lower health levels.

answers plz?

>>29306801
he's blueballed i guess.
they get pretty apeshit and territorial during mating season

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Every single day without variation or change, hundreds of trainers will stop by my cottage. I wanted to be a breeder, helping Pokemon to grow, have fun, to find love. No longer is that the case in these times.

Ive run through the scenario a million times. A trainer, huffing and puffing on bis bike, typically with a shitty hat on will roll up and drop his pokemon off at a decent fee. Then two, then ten, then continuing on and on until the daycare is near full. The play area evolves into a on orgy, with penises and probuscises and goo fly around, the ceaseless moans of female pokemon whether they cry out in pleasure or in pain from the constant rape, gallons of semen of all varieties coating the walls, the toys, the floors, not even the numerous drains weve installed can keep up with it. Every single.night I have to dedicate 2 hours of my shitty day to scrubbing semen off every part of the area. Dont even get me started on the next day, which is filled with the hellish and screams and smells and sights of pokemon giving birth simultaneously, and the process of removing the eggs from the moths, many of which are dangerous and could kill with a stare. Then the trainer returns, huffing and puffing, and he'll go, run up and down the street for two days straight and no sleep, and come back to repeat the process. Imagine this every single day of your life ad naseum.

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>>29305577
Fuck this gay Earth.

Who else /fuckinstandaroundandwaitfor10yearoldstocrossyourfieldofvisionalldayeveryday/ here?

Hey, does anyone know where I can get some Razor Claws? My cousin from Sinnoh sent me like ten Sneasels and wants me to powerlevel. I'm from Virdian btw.

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I imported one of these little fuckers from some far-off region. Might be Hoenn or India or something. Anytime I send the little shit out it just scurries under a nearby desk or table or rock. Anyone know if I'm not caring for it properly?

>>29307839
Try Bill's List online or something. Usually you can find sellers nearby. I don't think Kanto imports Razor Claws, but since the whole region is pretty much run by the mafia I could see them being in circulation.

>>29307840
They do get a bit timid, but don't worry, try to get it to fight some weaker shit like wild pidgeys, and it'll learn to enjoy fighting.

>>29307840
Oh, I've heard about that thing...I don't remember what it's called right now, but I do remember it's one of the biggest wimps. It's startled if it takes enough damage, so maybe try healing it.

Hey, so you guys know how the desert resort has been having the weather phenomenon lately? Well I went exploring in the relic castle and I found a nest of Larvesta. I caught one and took it to some of the guys at the uni in Castelia and they said it had just hatched recently. They were consulting with Burgh and he reckons that a Volcarona returned to the relic castle recently. I reckon that is why the desert resort has been having such harsh weather lately. I wonder if the Volcarona is still there or if it just returns to lay eggs, I'm definitely going to go back and explore the castle again, maybe my Larvesta will be able to help navigate and find it's parent?

>>29307862
>run by the mafia
You're not even joking. I really want out but the flute I got from Stuart or some fag is broken. He said it would summon Zapdos or some shit. It just makes some music and then I hear a voice in my head saying that it won't work here. Tried from Pallet Town to Cinnibar. I think I'm going crazy.

>>29307840
You need to take it slow and be patient. Wimpods spook easily, so you want a calm and relaxed environment when you begin to bond with it. I'm not sure how well suited they are for training through wild pokemon battles, they have a tendency to run away when they are hurt. I'm at a loss for how to train it, sorry I couldn't be of more help.

>>29299036
oooh she thicc

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My brother took a trip to that island region Alola and sent me this...thing as a souvenir. I think he called in a Bounsweet? Either way, that doesn't really matter right now. What does matter is getting my Krokorok to stop trying to eat it!

Stupid croc keeps trying to scoop her into his mouth the moment I look away from them and it's getting on my nerves. Anyone know a way to make him cut it out?

>>29308162
Train your bounsweet, I heard they get a lot more self-sufficient once they evolve.
And if you have the money to splurge on a TM, you could always teach it a grass type move to keep Krokorok at bay

My Golett likes to freak people out with the ol' "animate armor" trick. Any way to get that out of the way? It stopped being funny after the fourth heart aneurysm.

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>>29286685
So is anyone here a trainer or a collector? I'm pretty new to training Pokemon, only a month really, but I'm not here to ask questions about where to start as a beginner. I was just wondering what kinds everyone has, what kinds they like, and how long everyone's been searching! Who knows, maybe if some people are really looking for one kind of Pokemon, someone could organise a trade!

Unovan native here, and my first Pokemon is a Woobat who's a cutie! I also own a Darumaka, who's a little fierce but really strong, and a skittish (but still adorable) Tynamo!

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>>29308352
>heart aneurysm
my sides have deleted themselves

>>29308539
We could meet up in Castelia, I have a Leavanny and a Riolu. It'd be nice to have a battle.

How the fuck do i evolve a inkay?

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>>29286974
You'd think that, but ask her countless 'sex partners', poor bastards usually never got to first base, and pretty much none past second. They keep getting scared off by all these trainers jumping out of nowhere to challenge her.

I hear she's considered retiring because of it.

>>29307720
I feel a bit for you old man.

Not quite the same but, I've got a sneasel and a meowth.

At first they hated eachother, but, ever since they both evolved, they WON'T STOP BREEDING.

Well, breeding and eating.

Anyway though, anyone in the Johto region want some sneasel eggs? (like, eighteen preferrably)

They know Feint, Bite, and Fakeout from the father.

>>29304341
Humans don't lay eggs, we're live births

>>29308660
Try standing on your head the next time it levels up.

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I just got a Larvitar today. Is it normal for it to eat dirt when I go to the park to train it? He's also been eating dirt from my backyard too, which I'm not liking one bit.

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HI!!! I'M BRIONNE!!! DO YOU GUYS WANNA HEAR MY POPSONG!!¿¿¿

>>29308755
Yeah, give it an Everstone and it'll stop.

>>29308755
normal, did you not do even the simplest research on Larvitar's diet?

>>29292392
Hey, you could spend some quality time with your Garchomp to call it down. Like, play some games or something with it, and maybe give it a soothe bell to fiddle with when it's not battling. It might be associating winning battles as the only way to impress you, so if you show praise from other facets, it'll relax up, I think.

>>29308177
I just shouted at my Krokorok again and my Bounsweet used magical leaf on him...I think he'll finally leave her alone, but I'll take the chance to train her.

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I want all the Pokefuckers to leave.

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Is there any way to stop my Zorua from transforming into random girls every time a relative visits? My aunt is spreading the rumor that I'm the biggest cheater since Lt. Surge, and it's getting irritating.

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Help me pls I want to hold Erika's hand
Or foot

>pokemon won't stop li,cking and obsessing over my feet

help

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I just got sandwiched by my sawk and throh and caught a tangrowth specifically so I could fuck it

>>29308923
Fuck it and let it know what a real girl feels like.

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Guys, got rid of the Dusknoir problem, now theres a fucking Champod sitting in my swimming pool, not moving a damn inch. My Slaking is not doing shit about it. Any advice?

>>29302518
GLORIOUS

I WONT GIVE IN, I WONT GIVE IN

UNTIL IM VICTORIOUS

>>29308767
is that sextina aquafina?

>>29309313
It liked it, but now it poses for about 20 seconds whenever I send it out, and it somehow got a room a or something that spins in place while he does that.

And I still need to get Muk goo out of my Rufflet's feathers. There aren't any groomers near me, and the Pokemon Center wasn't able to do much.

>>29309440
hose that fucker down

>>29309456
>implying I haven't
It somehow made it worse. Would peanut butter work? Like it does for people and and gum?

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>>29309207
Even if that was a viable solution (which it's not) I'd need to wait until L30 to keep my conscience clean. I need an immediate fix.

>>29286685
I met Norman yesterday. I challenged his Gym right after beating Flannery and let me tell you, that was a bad idea. I dropped my spaghetti on both occasions so bad I could barely speak. If I had lost I have no idea how I would've walked back into those Gyms man.

Norman is like, the entire reason I even started this Pokemon Trainer shit to begin with and I barely even talked to him when I finally got to meet him. Should I just fuck off on out of Petalburg? I feel like if I leave now I'll regret it.

>>29308923
Why don't you just return Zorua? I know some Pokemon dislike being inside of Poke Balls, but if they're going to misbehave then letting them have their way is just spoiling them.

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>>29309625
See, that'd work, but she's devious as hell. She came from a trade from some guy with green hair, and she hid the Luxury Ball I used to catch her. I have no idea where it is.

>>29309756
>I have no idea where it is.
This sounds like a CONUNDRUM.

>>29309834
Yeah, every time I confront her about it, she dashes off and brings me someone else's Pokémon's ball.

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>>29308789
I didn't. I just got it today. Fed it a few oran and chople berries.

Do they have any preference of soil color or just get the mixed? I'm finding a few different ones on sale.

>>29310081
Not that anon but invest in an Everstone for your Larvitar. Pupitar is way too awkward to leave as it is, and whenever people try to keep it that way it never lasts very long. Tyranitar is a hassle to train and take care of and they're pretty fucking scary for your neighbors.

>>29310081
It prefers more sand to clay in its soil. For the love of god, don't feed it fertilizer.

my Deino's the biggest cuddly fucker I ever met, shame I had to have his teeth removed so he wouldn't try to bite off my limbs in my sleep, but I still love him

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>mfw we have a rotom infestation in our electronics store
>mfw I'm in hospital because an angry rotom rammed me with a fridge it took over and broke a couple of my ribs
Fuck rotoms, at least I don't have to deal with their shit since I'm in hospital.

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>>29286685
>Try to high five Dusclops
>Fall right through him
>Accidently eats my soul as i get sucked into a pit of darkness worse than /r9k/

What's you guys do today?

>>29310710
idk anon, how many electronics are in the hospital?

>>29310710
They are good if ya can domesticate them right, good for pranks as well.
But apparently it doesn't even fucking want to go near my pool, probably because of the hissing Champod in it.

>>29310478
Jesus Christ, why did you do that? You do realize that dragon types are meat eaters, right? How the fuck do you expect it to eat meat without it's teeth?

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>>29310887
There might be a lot, but at least there isn't any fucking rotoms
And the store manager takes the fucking pinnacle of jewry
>Everyone who takes care of wild pokemon outbreaks has a small little thing in their deal that they're not resposible for any damage to property when dealing with outbreaks, so she refuses to call them
>We can't do shit about rotoms becuase she says we'll have to pay for every damaged thing if we try to take care of them
>In her opinion the rotoms are just gonna go away after some time
>She still refuses to close down the store until they're dealt with
Fuck this job really, I'm quitting as soon as I'm out from the hospital, heard my town's gym is looking for a new leader, might apply to that, since my team is all poison types, just like previous leader.

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>>29310346
Everstone it is. I'm sure that the neighbors wouldn't appreciate their yard and my own yard becoming a mini desert if it evolves fully. Would be hell to clean up the house too. Besides, it's cute the way it is.

>>29310440
I'd never feed anything fertilizer. Sand soil it is. Thanks Anon.

The Battle Frontier rules and regulations need to be fucking reviewed. It's 2016 and there is STILL corruption in the fucking Battle Frontier.

>>29311640
>he thinks he can go from being a store clerk to being a gym leader
be reasonable nigga

>>29312455
Well they're holding a tournament to determine who'll be the leader, so maybe I'll be lucky, and if not, it's not hard to get a job at a store where Rotoms ram me with fridges.

>>29312011
>2016
What the hell? Are you nuts? It's 11046 Post Arceus (P.A.)

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anyone know how to take care of a vaporeon?

i dont exactly know how much water they need to not dry out, or if they dry out at all when exposed to air.
do they leave trails of slime behind like amphibians or are they clean?

I was hiking in the mountains of Tennessee last week when I saw a Raikou on the cliffs above me. It stared at me, bared it's teeth then ran off into the distance before I could snap a pic but everyone keeps telling me to fuck off to /x/ with my bullshit

Doesn't anyone believe me?

>>29312484
that's weird
usually appointing new gym leaders is up to the league and there's a lot of political bs involved. nepotism as well, just look at Janine... hell, even though Blue is more than qualified as a Gym Leader I suspect he's only there because he's buddies with motherfucking Red.

>>29312519
i think you are bonkers

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>>29292201
>>29292165
>>29292131
Stop posting.

>>29312515
>slime
It's mucus dipshit.
And no, they're clean. Just don't send them into the Rocket Pond or such. If you don't get out much, all a Vaporeon needs is about a kiddie pool of water.

>>29312519
>Raikou in Tennessee
Are sure it wasn't a larger than average Manectric?
>>29309485
Peanut Butter worked, except a wild Heracross tried to lick my Rufflet. In other news I just caught a Heracross. Though I shouldn't have introduced to my Hawlucha yet, since it now wants entrance music too.

>>29301585
I want to know what her cleavage smells like

>>29291247
found the alienfucker

>>29312545
Eh, who knows, maybe it was league's idea to pick out the strongest local trainer, rather than getting someone to work there from outside, not that I care about the reasoning, I just want off the rotom wild ride.

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My grandpa recently passed away, he had a ninetales that I grew up with as a childhood friend. Ever since my grandpa passed all my ninetales has done is mope around the fireplace where my grandpa used to drink tea and pet it in his lap. I've been told by many relatives that I bear a sharp resemblance to my grandfather when he was my age so I decided to test out a theory. I got my hair cut in an undercut style similar to his when he was young and wore one of his old bomber jackets, ninetales got right up for the first time. I took it out to a local restaurant that allows Pokemon and then to a local park but I feel bad because I fee like it's not me the ninetales is getting excited about but rather that it's in a pretend world reliving the past

What should I do?

>>29292714
>literally my mom's duck
looks like a duck from bw

>>29312658
>ducks
>existing
Anon please, take your shitty animals games back to >>>/an/

>>29312580
I'm from Gatlinburg, I've seen manectric all around the mountains of all sizes even taken on a few ursaring with my Electivire and let me tell you this was no Manectric

I know what I saw

>>29312657
Keep going, your gramps sounds fucking lit

>>29301425
it's the region where fairy-types were discovered, of course kalos is wierd

>>29312691
Stay on /x/ you fag
And take Stuart's Peon Ocarina with you.

The local gym is looking for some new gym trainers. It is Fighting type, and I have two already, and Machop and Scraggy can be found nearby. Think I'll apply. Would the leader frown upon my Pokemon/me having theme music?

>>29312691
>Electivire
yeah yeah, another Electric-type fanatic hallucinating about fucking Raikou
move along folks, nothing to see here

>>29312830
man, being a gym trainer is a fucking pain in the ass. you've got to know the type you use like the back of your hand, have a massive roster of Pokémon to be able to battle trainers with 0 to 7 badges, remember not to go too hard on beginners, be careful not to overexhaust decent trainers (as the leader usually wants to deal with them to see if they're worthy of their badge) and, my favourite, put up with all of the gym leader's bullshit, and frankly, those guys are fucking weird. I'd reccomend doing it only if you wanna be someone in the league in the future (far future), otherwise, assuming you want to be a pro, going the ace trainer route is a better use of your time, and actually more enjoyable.
>t. worked in a ground type gym

>>29312964
Local leader is a cool dude, and older. Rumors he may retire soon. Every year he opens the gym up for people to watch Wrestlemania on a giant screen. He still goes out himself and helps people catch their first Pokémon . Even helped one kid a few years back catch a shiny Sandile.
>have a massive roster of Pokémon
Did your leader not have a shit ton of trainers that worked at the gym of various skill level? Half the trainers, and some of the breeders in town work there. Though fighting types are really common around here, so it makes it easier to have a wider range of people who can work there.

so I found this ralts splashing around in my goldeen pond out back, the waters real shallow for the first meter or so in and seems to have taking a liking to playing with Hass and brini, the youngest of the dozen or so I keep, just finished feeding them all, including the ralts. should I catch it or leave it wild?

>>29312657
Keep doing what you're doing but slowly start changing back to your normal clothes doesn't notice