/ss13g/ - Spacemes in a Spacestation

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Where did you first hear about ss13, fellow spessmen?
I heard about it on /v/ ages ago, being cited as some sort of magical everything-is-possible world of shenanigans. And that wasn't far off.

>>182569412
Heard about it from a friend who played on Bay. Decided to see if it had a general on /vg/, and whaddaya know, it did. Been playing here ever since.

>>182569412
I heard about it in the real old days, like original station days, but I never ended up playing it because I heard the dev wasn't working on it anymore and no one had the code, so I instead played deadly waters, the submarine ss13 clone along with the rest of the good byond games like mafia, one of the DBZ games, Murder Mansion and a really fun roguelike game about dungeon exploration that I can't remember the name of

>>182569412
Saw threads on /v/, then when /vg/ was made occasionally noted threads here and eventually checked it out.

>>182569412
I genuinely don't remember where I discovered it but it was a long time ago. Had no real interest in it at first, but started playing in 2011 or 2012 originally but only came here last year when someone I knew mentioned the game to me again.

>>182569412
Thread on /tg/ and at the time I thought it was BS like those pressure threads on /v/

>>182569412
Invited by my favourite ERP partner

>>182569412
off /pol/ last year for being a ''redpilled'' game

>>182570280
>taking leddit's advice on anything "redpilled"
lmao

>>182570387
you can bash /pol/ all you want but the thread provided me with tons of games that I would've never of found without it

>>182570725
well hey that's fair man
i'm just saying, /pol/'s bluepilled as fuck now and is reddit's main FOB here

>>182569412
saw a tread on leddit long time ago about games similar to TTT, thankfully i learned to play and roleplay before i could even validhunt

>>182569412
I saw it on Dean Halls twitter in 2012 or 2013
Saw it more on the /vg/ catalog and followed it a bit in 2015
Finally took the dive in 2016
Huge mistake

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>>182570280
what the fuck is wrong with you?

>>182570836
It's many things, but bluepilled is not one of them

>>182571091
hey, i aint gonna argue about it, but i think thats wrong as fuck nowadays
blind loyalty towards a single neocon does not a redpill make

>>182569412
/agdg/ poster who was interested in games with deep mechanics. I haven't made shit except a handful of bug reports on ss13 since.

>Frank White as Head of Security
>Francine White as Warden
>Franklin White as Security Officer
>Fran White as Detective

Name a better family than the white family security squad for hire.

>>182570836
I wouldn't call it bluepilled, but the whole trump aspect has ruined the board

>>182570996
what's the problem?

What's better, a detective that patrols or one that sits in the bar until (s)he is called out?

>>182571582
one that is glued to his camera monitor and only leaves to scan shit

>>182571175
>blind loyalty
nah
that lasted like 2 weeks after inauguration
it only still exists on /ptg/ which is universally regarded on the board as reddit incarnate

>>182571686
>his
please keep it gender inclusive for all our female characters out there!

>>182569412
2hotdogs told me about it in a chatroom.
He said to say his name to unlock my magical powers in this thread.

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>>182572645
>female detective

>>182572868
dumb sexist pig

>>182572868
you wouldn't dare say that to a good detective like mallory brooks or one of the many other good female detectives

>>182571365
Eli and Ellie Wood robust medbay power hour.

>>182573463
https://academic.oup.com/cercor/article/25/9/2383/380449

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>>182573841
>implying

>>182569412
I don't remember where I first heard about it
All I know is that I have a bunch of neat stories about my life from before I dropped out of high school that I can tell people, but I don't have anything from after that because all those cool stories come from this game

>>182573934
>in youth

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>tfw the HoS compliments you on being the best officer at the end of the shift

>>182574360
yeah you're right, I'm sure women just sprout an extra million neurons on their 19th birthday

>>182574374
>tfw the HoS lets you out of the brig because he caught you trespassing about to commit crimes with traitor items out in the first ten minutes of the round and he feels bad for you
>

SPESS CYOA:
You're a security officer, and there is a cult about. There's no HoS or warden, and the detective is dead already. You suspect the cult base is on the roid, and science is a cult. There is a captain but no HoP, and captain is a comdom who's trying to take on the entire cult. A doctor is screaming on comms for sec to get to medbay to stop some assistant from being a faggot, and lastly, the chaplain is in the bar, drinking.
What do you do?

>>182575053
Go drink with the chaplain and ask her about his god

>>182575053
brig the assistant because there's fuck all I can do

>>182569412
I knew it existed back at 2013, but this video conviced me to try it.

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLAHBexJxrE[embed]

God fucking dammit, i'm used to the embed system of 8ch

>>182575053
Get the AI to let me into the armory. Give all Assistants, the Clown and Mime, and Medbay guns and spacesuits from EVA. Raid the cult base as a conformed mass unit because there's no chance in hell me and the Captain will get anywhere on our own.

get the chaplain, gear him up, and head to cargo with some holy water

>>182575053
Join captain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6BbvCC0VI0

>>182575306
just post the link without tags you moron

>>182575203
You go to the bar, there's a poutine ocean being built by the chef and the bartender. You see the chaplain, and ask for a drink. You tell the chaplain about the cult, and if their god can help stop it. They agree to help you. Where to next?
>>182575214
You go to medbay, and see some assistant trying to disarm spam the doctor, you go in and cuff the assistant, and they scream out for help and how you're killing them. You take them to brig and search them, they don't have any contraband on them, only thing is a pill bottle of hyperzine. How long do you brig him for?
>>182575381
The AI refuses to let you into the armory, the reason is that they say that guns kill people, and killing is bad.

>>182569412
Heard about it from /tg/, was fascinated by the idea of being able to do "anything"

About ten rounds in I was playing scientist and I heard a lot of accusations of sec corruption being thrown around on the radio, so I used the xenoarch space suit and autolathe tools to rob the armory from space.

Didn't get bwoinked. Can you believe it? If I did, I probably would've been banned because c'mon that's like the shittiest reason to rob the armory ever. I wouldn't even blame them from the better perspective I have now.

That was years ago, and since then I've even made a few (small) contributions to our codebase, so it's really lucky that I wasn't caught!

>>182575537
Ahelp that the AI is crying about potential harm.

>>182569412
I searched for "space" on the catalog and got interested by the then abundant greentext. Some months later I made the same mistake and then decided to try it anyways.
The thread was actually useful back then. Saying "the thread is shit" is not an excuse to make it even worse.

>>182575537
take his pills, give him a warning and tell him to fuck off

>>182575780
You take the hyperzine, and tell the greytider to stop fuckign with medbay and to fuck off. They scream at you and yell shitcurity, and then scutter off into maint to ahelp you for being "shitcurity." You gain 10 hyperzine pills.
The AI over the security radio that the doctor in medbay has been taken by some scientist, and they're headed to the science outpost. What do you do next?

>>182575672
You ahelp the admins, but don't get a response for a while. The armory opens, only to find a couple laser guns and one EVA suit left. What do you do next?

>>182576076
man no one wants your make your own adventure shit do it somewhere else

>>182575537
Take the chap to cargo, force feed holy water and order implants, Huns, and goats

>>182576258
wrong

>>182575832
Why is it blurry as shit?

>>182569412
Plumphelmetpunk

>>182576262
You bring the chaplain to cargo, and the AI opens the doors. You order the AI to send the shuttle after you order weapon crates and loyalty implants, and goats. The chaplain starts blessing water tanks. Suddenly, 2 miners and a scientist show up and start firing at you with kinematic accelerators.
BATTLE THEME: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up88zQxhKVc&t=611s
Your moves:
>Baton
>Taser
>Knife
>Disarm
>Punch
Chaplain's moves:
>Nullrod
>Disarm
>Punch

>>182576076
chill in the brig

>>182577021
You chill in the brig.
NARSIE HAS RISEN
Game over!

never forget hulk-man and owl-boy

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>teleport myself into the bird roid
>get succ'd immediately
>bird calls me shit
>AI calls me shit
>tfw

>>182577246
Do everything as a team. It's the only way to not be meme'd. Rambo is a work of fiction.

>>182577172
and I wouldn't give a flying fuck, cult rounds without a functioning security is just pure cancer

>>182573841
>Mallory Brooks
>a good detective
Literally security officer in a coat. Even Bateman is a better detective desu.

>>182577321
Just carry a polysmokenade on a timer with you

DETECTIVE CYOA:
You're detective Patrick Bateman and there are nuke ops destroying the station. There are many cute girls in medbay, a complete bitch of an officer in security and the HoP is a pink haired valid hunting autist.
What do you do?

>>182577430
Go ERP with the Bartender. Bartender cuties are the best cuties. Medbay sluts are all trash tier WFU stock.

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>>182577246
Waaa?

>Try to play trader again
>First round partner is traitor, don't want to do some antag lite shittery so just set up perma so they can escape if brigged
>Try to set up a trading outpost for emagged commievend stuff but station is nuked

>Second round
>Partner is a fucking vampire
>Try to sell victim's gear
>Nobody wants gear, CE trades me pizza for emitter
>Don't want to go back to outpost to figure out some more goods to sell because lingering vampire
>Shot to death by mech, revived, and spend the rest of the round reviving corpses I find around medbay and running away from vampire partner when they showed up

>>182577172
So what? The only way he can stop it is through decapitating and destroying the heads of 3/4 of the station while it's bathed in hellfire. And all for what? The custists want to do their shit. Nonantags want to selfantag by hanging out near frequent cult spots. It's just not worth it. Let them narnar and get the round over asap

>>182577410
There's a ton of ways that goes wrong and you're gonna eat a week ban for stupidity when it hits someone. It's the same reason you can't keep a deadman switch in your hand or in your bag without getting a heavy don't be a fucking retard, retard ban

>>182577430
Declare red alert and evacuate everyone to the asteroid, kissing your one true waifu before the station explodes with you alone on it.
t. Shiggypiggy

>>182577430
Are any of the nuke ops cute?

>>182577509
You go to the bartender and are angry to find it is a man behind the bar, the only other man on the station. He goes to pour you a drink and asks what you'll be having. Your keen eyes notices him lick his lips and look at your groin.
>>182577669
You try to call red alert but nobody listens to you, you're fucking patrick bateman the useless detective. You heard over comms that the nuke is armed and in the library, you have 1 shot in the revolver at your hip.
>>182577854
You surrender yourself to the nuke ops in hope of it being a group of cute girls. Major success, they take you on their ship to their snowy base and you are tied up in a chair as they have naked pillow fights to celebrate their successful mission.

>>182577665
Do not worry partner the mores of the vox metaclub forbid me from assassinating a trader partner. I was actually telling the sec channel that it was me who was bad and not you a bunch so that you wouldn't get fucked around with.

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How do your prove the wizards' magic?

>>182578268
I motioned for killing and spacing him because of all the stuff. It's a shame nobody was listening or you would have been directly responsible for the end of his round.

>>182578518
You shoot him with two shotgun lethals. If he blink/jaunts, he's a wizard. If he doesn't, he was a wizard who wasn't paying attention and should be cremated to display the Flesh to Ghost magic.

>>182578202
Run to the library, revolver in hand. Think of cute girls as I do.

>>182578518
Cut off one foot so that he can't wear sandals, put on a straight jacket so that he can't escape, put on a tinfoil hat so he can't mindswap.

>>182578518
Space him off an airlock with a broom. If he dies it will be a noble sacrifice for the sake of the station and will always be remembered, if he flies it's a witch.

>>182578895
You're going to die, but you manage to take out one op, grab his gun and heavily wound another. As you shield yourself from the shots behind a wooden table your last thought is of your one true waifu, who was she?

>>182579694
The barman.

>>182579694
>Librarian dying
He has a mortar, metal, an o2 medkit, and food. He's fine.

Why does Violet Hill wear gas mask all the time?
I remember this static from like one year ago and they were doing the same

>>182579751
One operative is slowly approaching your table with his pulse rifle held up. You have no escape, to run is suicide and to stay is suicide. Just as he is about to lift the rifle over the table and shoot you dead as you cower afraid a bottle smacks the side of his helmet and he's knocked to the floor. From the chapel side door the Barman is there, his shotgun in hands and pointed at the two remaining opratives. "Oi lad, get that bomb disarmed, I'll handle these ones. The code is my speciality drink, the Baham-" his voice cuts out with a cough as he takes a shot to his side. He falls against the table with one arm on his wound and the other on his gun. Firing wildly into the library for supressing fire he coughs up some blood and shouts "GO LAD". You rush to the nuke and take cover behind it, they can't shoot through this thankfully. You have 15 seconds, enough time for three codes to be tried.

What do you input into the machine?
Only one attempt per post

>>182580230
Plasma blinding ptsd

>>182580503
BOOMBOX

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>>182569412
From my brother

First person I talked to in game was an admin accusing me of metagay and I almost got banned because I had no idea what was wrong

>>182580503
Bahama Mama

>>182580579
>>182580727
The code is a 4 digit numerical, I'm going to let you try again

>>182580503
Pomf is a gay injun

>>182580814
2211
(2 parts Rum, 2 parts Orange Juice, 1 part Lime Juice, 1 part Ice)

>>182579694
Rail

>>182580892
Y-You actually did it. Your hands tremble as you input the code 2-2-1-1 and hit enter, it worked and you disable the nuke and pull out the authentication disk. You look over at the bartender and he's barely holding on, one operative remains and has him pinned down. You have no bullets and no guns within arm's reach. A crackle from the operative's helmet radio occurs and you hear a familiar voice, the voice of mallory brooks, your ex-waifu. She is demanding you reactivate the nuke, she promises you another chance if you do, a happy loving relationship.

What do you do?

>>182581181
Fukken reactivate dat nuke

what does a riot shield actually do?

>>182581181
re activate the nuke

>>182581181
Eat the nuke disk and chew it apart.
In my final moments, crawl over to the barman, my true love, and die in his arms.

>>182581306
It kinda protects the user from brute damage, but only from where the spessman is looking

>>182581181
stick the disk as far up my ass as it will go

>>182581181
try to save the bartender

>>182581306
Directional deflect chance

>>182581479
>>182581827
kinda? does it block disarms?

>>182581827
Click it with a baton

>>182581302
>>182581326
You reactivate the nuke, the barman with his dying breath pulls his shotgun across and levels it at you. He pulls the trigger and falls unconscious to the CLICK CLICK of his empty barrel. Mallory steps towards you and removes her helmet. She looks beautiful and you're paralysed by her beauty. No wait, you're actually paralysed, you see her dropping a pen to the ground as she giggles with joy. Her armored hand goes to her mouth, she blows you a kiss and then hand teleports away as you lay on the ground unable to move, listening to the nuke tick down it's final seconds until.. BOOM.
BAD END >trusting the ash surfer in 2017
>>182581378
>>182581669
You render the nuke disk destroyed or irretrievable and crawl to the bartender. He takes you in his big manly arms and holds you tight, he's warm but you feel the blood against your back and know he's not looking good. He kisses your cheek and tells you he loves you as he passes away. Mallory walks over to you and laughs, she calls you a russian faggot and tells you she never loved you, only your money. She brings her pulse rifle up and fires a shot into the bartender's head to finish him off before teleporting away, leaving you a broken man. but a hero of the station
MEDIUM END.
>>182581775
You rush over to the bartender and hand him your flask, you're always prepared so it's full of doctor's delight and dex+ to keep him stable. He takes cover and drinks heavily. Whilst he's healing up you take his shotgun and point it at Mallory. She points her pulse rifle at you, squeezes the trigger and the beam just misses. In the confusion of you looking at the beam she has teleported away, you hear the familiar sound of the hand teleporter in use. You know deep in your heart she's long gone on her ship home. You turn to the bartender and help him up, you share a manly hug and hours later and celebrated as heroes by the ceo of NT himself.

>>182582331
yeah

>>182582449
END OF PROLOGUE

Play the ss13 vn to see the full story.

>>182580230
I don't know who you remember, but I've only been playing for a couple of weeks

>>182582449
victory is mine!

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>>182569412
I originally made my account 3 years ago, I'd heard of it on /v/ even before that.
Got the same story you did, read about hacking machines in botany to grow space weed and I knew I'd like it.
I only started playing in 2017 however, BYOND looking like dogshit, being laggy, being dogshit, and not knowing what server to join kept me from exploring further when I first tried.

>>182582449
>reactivating the nuke to get waifu
>bad ending
?!?!?!?!

>>182582792
>blowing up the station to get a shitty waifu
>good

>>182582902
The joke
your head
seriously, i knew the waifu was bait, i just wanted to see how it turned out

>tfw you make a meme for your friends on /ss13g/ but then someone else comes along and makes a better version

>>182569412
Randomly clicked on the wrong general back in 2012.

>>182583095
what meme?

>>182583146
several, but in this thread a political compass full of job sprites

>>182583095
what friends?

>>182569412
It was fotm in this ts group i was in

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>vote deff because I feel like we deserve it
>Tell everyone this
>be the only one that voted deff
>IT'S DEFF
I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN

>>182583095
>tfw you are a meme for /vg/station
I mean, I kinda like it.

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>tfw you try and hep in medbay after it goes kablooie but everything's fucked

Engineers were a mistake

>156 players in Colonial Marines

SS13 will never die

>>182583848
The preassure and no oxygen ended up killing me inside the clone pod, thanks for cloning me tho.

>roll warden for once
>get 2 officers
>both are complete retards
>both die
>huddle alone in my plasma filled brig before crawling to escape

wew

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>the RD gave me a hug and left to his doom

Sail on brave soul, a shame you didnt make it

>>182584092
>me unga
>team bunga

sure

>>182584171
>it's a /d2g/ memer in /ss13g/

>>182583950
It will when Byond goes to shit.

>>182584171
one of them didnt know what an sps was and got disarmed and tased by an assistant
the other was ok
i wasn't particularly a beacon of competence either

>>182584257
Probably lolg since dota is a dead game

Every moba fanbase uses me unga team bunga

Thanks Arby, I know you tried to help me

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>>182584424
>dota is a dead game

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Today is the 13th that spells out "Ass Day", why aren't you playing goonstation on Ass Day?

>you'll never play ss13 for the first time again.

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>>182584838
I started playing this game 6 years ago. I think the community then was the best instead of now so I think it's for the best.

Donut Station circa 2011, how I miss you so. Full of wonder and suspense this game was.

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>>182584838
eh, im a new(ish) player and my first time is still fresh. It doesnt feel that good, if anything now that im competent i feel much about better/more positive about ss13

The only downside is that ive achieved a level of competence that i can do things that robust spehssmen do, just not very well. So i get shit talked for being bad rather than just being new.

Or maybe i am just bad

>>182569412
>2010
>friend with literal autism shows me the game
>be his genetics monkey
>gives us hulk
>start smashing everything in sight

How high do you think the ceiling is from the floor?

>>182569412
Met some friends in EVE online
They told me about it and helped me learn all the ropes as I played and we'd laugh it up about people dying when it got boring at times
Lots of fun

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Usednapkin was here.

>>182586130
32 pixels

>>182586176
pupper meragaming confirmed

>>182584690
i played goonstation before playing /vg/, ass day is a good day, goon just got boring

>>182586176
JOIN PUPPER

>>182586130
64 pixels

>>182569412
Dorf weekend on /tg/

Don't bother it's shite.

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>>182584838
>>182569412

>played shitty byond games in 2000, have a blast but completely forget about it because of emulator boom
>spess thread on /v/ several years ago
>give out a try
>all servers are laggy as shit
>being an assistant means you have jack shit to do
>gave up and go back to other vidyas
>one year later, another /v/ thread
>this time people mention /vg/ and /tg/
>try out public servers again to see how they are now
>still laggy as shit, but this time i have some fun by seeing people running away from hazards and other shit
>try out /vg/ right after
>jukebox
>things are running smooth as butter
>mfw
>try out /tg/
>people screaming OMG X IS A TRAITOR left and right
>laggy as shit
>someone beat me up, have to go to medbay
>CMO cure my ass, chemist spergs out and try to kill me because he think i trespassed
>security locks me up because they took the chemist's side and CMO didn't give a shit
>come back to /vg/

>>182569412
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLAHBexJxrE

Lets make some /vg/ lore

every post replying to this post becomes 100% true lore on our server

>>182588160
greys are apart of a shadow network secretly controlling humans from the inside

>>182588160
All female characters are men in wigs.

>>182588160
Everyone always wants to know: Who.Is.That.Girl?

>>182588160
bootyborgs and gorillionares are real things that the syndicate have kept top secret

>>182588634
TELL ME NOW
FUCKING TELL ME
TELL ME OR ELSE
I WANT TO KNOW WHO SHE IS

>>182588160

All male character are females with short hair

>Doodle request anon does not deliver
REEEEEEEE

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>>182588160
https://pastebin.com/U0J5wQ4q
Everything contained in this pastebin, Urist Lore a best.
Nobody will use it, but I'll finally have my autistic RP backed up by a ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT /vg/ APPROVED OFFICIAL SOURCE FOR MUH LOREZ.

>>182588160
ss13 is set in the fallout universe.

Don't believe me?

>Nuka Cola
>Vault suit sprite
>securitron borg sprite

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>>182588160
Souhei is permabanned.

>>182588160
All waifus are virgins

>>182588160
>>182589984
...until Patrick Bateman gets to them!

>>182590253
my static would kill bateman if he was even looking at her. She's a pure earth girl

>>182588792
What was your request?

>>182590762

>>182564217

If I have to make a new map for bay to avoid milsim then so be it

>no good securityfus since rin was banned

>>182591812
fuck off, securitybandos rule the streets now

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>>182590940

>>182592056
name 5 current securitybandos

r8 these statics!

Riccardo Benzoni
Rusty Shackleford
Paget Dickinson
Trinity Prewitt
Eloise Chappelle
Lilly Lapine
JC Denton
Max Bone
Anne Hiro
Willy Anderson
Marko Bomb
Thoros Southerland
Isaac Liaof
Ruben Foster
Nick Weller
Clownpiece MoMMI
Hachi
Rambling Maniac
Rail
Frank White
Tahki

>>182592242
frank
riccardo
antonio
ailsa
mabe willy
me

>>182592380
>static
automatic shit

Bad, Ugly Waifus: all static namers

Good, Cute Waifus: all random namers

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>>182588160
NanoTrasen has been destroyed and dismantled as an organization for nearly a century.
The Syndicate and all other outlying groups and races have been forcefully united under a universal alien strength, and most species are nearly extinct.
These new galactic rulers are fascinated by the behavior of alien races, most especially humans.
They have a branch of research entirely devoted to the study of human behavior and interaction, to find ways to better control, manipulate, and genetically coerce future races. This hands-on research department is known only as The Administration.

Our stations are their laboratories, and we are their mice. A number of humans have been taken from across the Milky Way, and with hypnotherapy and a powerful serum, The Administration has brainwashed these humans into believing they are part of the once-great string of NanoTrasen research stations.

Every day we snap awake, already at our desks, to find the clock reading 12:05. We are groggy, slow to start the day, and seem to have difficulty remembering certain people and places, while also seeming to have strange memories that should not belong to us. The station chef may find he knows everything about surgery and medicine, or the station Mime may be shocked to find himself setting up a singularity with ease, despite having no training.

We interact with each other, we make and break bonds of trust and love, all the while unknowingly watched over by the eye in the dark, the hand in the shadows. The Administration provide threats, giving some humans abilities and tools and convince them of tasks, all while posing as the extinct NanoTrasen to give the brainwashed crew support.

Eventually our day ends, a shuttle with no driver appears to take us to a command center with no personel, Central Command revealed to be an empty facade, the horor driving everyone mad for those last few minutes until... Everything freezes... Time itself stands still.

>>182592181
My fucking sides
thanks

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>>182593547
Through strange, alien powers, amplified by advanced technology, The Administration has the ability to control the flow of time in this place, freezing us all until they choose otherwise, so that they may clean their workspace, gather and repair the dead, and reset our memories and experiences to their liking. We are dressed, given our expected tools and identification, and placed into our new respective workstations, where we will all wake at exactly 12:05 once again, having no recollection of the previous day.

This cycle has continued infinitely, day after day, for over a decade. But the system is not perfect.

There have been those strange cases that, for some unknown reason, are able to resist The Administrations control. They act out wildly, found in the halls shouting phrases that make no sense, talking of Valids and Greentexts, attacking people with a wild gleam in their eyes. Everyone ignores them, they are outcasts, and before long The Administration finds them and deals with them. They are rehabilitated, through periods in special chambers away from the rest of the test group, or in extreme cases removed entirely from the test, expunged from history, vague whisperings of their ghosts lingering in the dark corners of the station's mind.


And this is how it has been, how it is, and how it shall be until the last of our species dies out or our overlords grow tired of toying with us.

>>182593547
>>182593752
Interesting read

>>182593547
Thought the station was manned by continually replaced clones as part of an automated cloning/liquidation cycle to mind plasma for the now non-existent corp.

>>182593547
>shard's in sec
>a bunch of people die dragging it to engineering
>grab magboots, too fat for hardsuit
>my time has come
>drag the shard to an airlock
>just before i'm there i die of radiation but the shard is out of the way and safe
>paramedic comes and safe me
>happy i'll be alive again
>paramedic drags me into shard and ashes me

Rest in peace.

I forgive you though, paramedic.

>>182592380
#1 Rambling Maniac
the rest need not apply

>>182592380
Please stop using my name to hide your own.

>be birb
>build bed outside station and ignore cult until crew leaves

Ya'll anit doing no demon shit on my feathered ass

>>182593752
>no lore about the Admin being rumoured to resemble a chicken

Its good writing, but could have been perfect with it

>>182592380
>Been playing with the same statics for nearly 7 years
>Never get mentioned in these lists unless I'm playing Clown
Never know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

>>182593979
>>182594086
It's a movie, worth a watch if you haven't seen it.

>>182594505
whats your name?

I had to leave after shard shenanigans, how did the round go after that? When did sec cotton on?

AIN'T CONVERTIN ME, YOU BLOOD DRAWING CUNTS

>>182594658
Lists usually include people who are outstandingly bad (everyone else) or do shit that will probably ding dong them often (Nick)

>>182594760
Cult dragged shard around and killed a bunch of people while basically getting nowhere meanwhile clown antagonized as non-antag so hard they called the shuttle

>>182594760
They dragged a sec officer into maint
Got robusted and while being killed one shouted in cult language over comms
Then three cultists lost heads

>>182594921
>implying the clown isn't always antag

>>182595092
He shouldn't fucking be

>>182594665
pomf

>>182595129
If you can't handle the clown you shouldn't be playing spessmen

>>182595225
You're not an antagonist, you shouldn't be antagonizing harder than the antags in any shift you log in to. Save it for your antag rolls.

>>182595318
What are you gonna do about it faggot?

>>182595415
I'm gonna diddle your butthole

>>182595462
Hey, ERP is against the rules

>>182592380
>see your name on list
do you give yourself high marks for le sneaky selfshill or do you just ignore it

>>182595561
So is antagonizing as non-antag, being a dick, and the sum of your lube griefing.

>>182592380
t. thoros southerland

>>182595695
>implying it is

>>182595871
http://ss13.moe/wiki/index.php/Rules

Clown got lucky Trinity caught him
I would punch all his teeth out and leave him in perma for all that lube

>>182595908
Rules don't mean anything

>>182596024
Trinity killed the clown

>>182596024
The only thing you should do is decapitate and destructive analyzer, polyacid, debrain and space so the brain dies, or fuel tank the head asap so he's gone for good asap. Collaborators, prison break events, an earlier break-in to store breakout supplies, and dumbasses can help them escape to start all over again. Just finish it.

>>182596197
Like half an hour later, if not more, after arresting him for lube

>>182595771
why

>>182596308
he copy pasted 2 lists of static names (including the misspelling of Isaac's lady name) and inserted one new name in the middle
the new name is Thoros, so it was almost certainly posted by Thoros

>>182596647
>lady
*last

>>182596308
>>182596647
it was actually not Thoros, it was me Emilia Davidson, greyshitter queen extraordinaire.

>>182592380
>trying to quit spess
>uninstalled byond but can't stay away from /ss13g/
>suddenly over last few days get a bunch of positive mentions in the thread
>tempted me to come back
s-stop

>182588160
Nanotrasen is le actually big asshole corporation with a lot of enemies, nothing too deep unless you count experiments and other already implied shit in the whole "have xbox huge amount of money and power" trope
Plasmemes are people that gets completely fucked by plasma in rare but not 1 in a 1000000000000 chance, they survive but for not much time, NT was one of the first one to experiment with this idea and designed the suits they use to live, these atrocities had only two choices, either work in NT stations with a shit or no pay or not have a suit and fucking die
Greys are a dying species, their lore would be that they are just humanoid aliens who are calm and have a tendency for science, which have sometimes ended up almost in their destruction several times (science go wrong, diseases, etc), [current in game year] would be around the time grays are at the brink of extinction again, this is why there are abductions, to experiment on another species to find ways to make their own kind's survival rate higher, yet, ironically, ignoring the root of their constant demise: ebin mad science

dunno, most of this is shit but someone could make a gimmick around it, or not, whatever

>>182592380
>dunno
>dunno
>retarded gimmicks
>typical shitter
>dunno
>dunno
>omg
>dunno
>dunno
>dunno
>dunno
>dunno
>tryhard at a times, don't enjoy his company even if i found myself fighting alongside him a good amount of times
>dunno
>don't care, rather not interact
>piece of shit, always steal my plastic the second i put it in a machine, would not emag
>overrated, falls into vox cliché a lot
>i like the guy, specially when i see him fighting to the death with nuke ops and giant spiders, haven't seen him in a lot of time
>retarded ebin qt vox that im glad i don't see that much
>dunno
>dunno

we must unite to defeat them

>>182595318
Not him, but I always felt that if since the Clown's job is to entertain, if the round hits the 1 hour mark and nothing interesting has happened, it's the Clown's responsibility to get the crew involved in some shenanigans. Now whether that means organizing a scavenger hunt that leads a dozen assistants hacking their way across the station, teleporting a fuckhuge amount of animals/vines/bananas for the crew to deal with, or just an old fashioned lubechase, that's within their right to do so, secure only with the knowledge that they are free to be lynched and thrown out an airlock.

>>182569412
/v/ thread in '09
the murder clowns and floor shitting enticed me and I'm pretty distraught that every server was dragged through the mud away from that and toward shitty slice of life anime territory over time. hindsight is 20:20 I guess.

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>>182598830
sometimes you've gotta sacrifice yourself for the prank, other times you're just ruining peoples rounds. I've seen so many bad clown "pranks" it has really drowned my love for clowns.

>>182598830
Then entertain. Falling on lube every 2 screens for nearly an entire round is not entertaining. Having to deal with the station being ground to a halt by a non-antag going nuts with a fuckhuge amount of animals/vines/bananas is not entertaining. It's childish and completely unecessary and inexcusable griefing plain and simple. Security should be patrolling, watching cams, and scanning stuff for evidence not chasing the self-antagging clown. Engineers and others don't need to be crippled as they go around trying to fix damage by a nonantagonist. People in general just doing their thing shouldn't have to shoulder the unreasonable burden of a non-antag being a griefing faggot and in fact they don't have to when it's anyone else. Just because you can throw the clown out an airlock doesn't mean it's okay that people will have to spend 40+ minutes and often even die in the course of stopping a GRIEFER that shouldn't be griefing in the first place. Go be a tumor on /tg/ with other manchildren.

can you death-sting in lesser form?

>>182592380
eyy marry-o pizza pasta
faggot
faggot
faggot
faggot
faggot
oh my god JC you're out of character
faggot
faggot
faggot
faggot
macho faggot
obnoxious faggot
faggot
die soon
who cares
insecure faggot
obnoxious
faggot
insecure macho faggot
faggot

>>182599810
t. Theodore "NoFun" Phrastus

>>182600643
>eyy marry-o pizza pasta
killed me

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rate my statics guise please
i need attention
PLEASE

>>182600931
ALL SHIT

>>182600931
https://youtu.be/WjbiaxzIcTI

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>>182592380
Clownpiece the MoMMi legit bootyblasts me. Worst fucking MoMMi by a long shot. Constantly violates their laws by interference but somehow gets away with it every single god damn time. Yes I've ahelped it.

I still remember the time they filled every single goddamn hallway with so many Chem dispensers that it was one tile wide and people had to be on help intent 24/7 or there would be a traffic jams. Traitors won hand over fist because everyone had infinite easy access to chloral, napalm, and creatine.

>>182601278
Gather screens, logs, and when you have a full forum page engage assblast.USAUSAUSA

>>182600931
kankerneger

>>182600931
>tfw can't get any characters to save to the last 4 slots
Tell me the secret

>>182600931
Literally who?

>join serb
>oh boy can't wait to pl-
>You are blinded by a brilliant flash of energy.

What the hell was that round?

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Why cant i get a proper mix of chloral? Ive done varying amounts in varying beaker sizes with different order of chemicals and i keep getting miniscule amounts of chloral and massive quantities of its components

This is literally the one drug that does this by the way, i can mix hyperzine and such just fine

>>182601218
>hinga dinga durgen
Durgen nordcuck confirmed?

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God damnit Marko you impatient bastard you got us both fried!

>>182601879
Reduce the volumes used or use a large beaker

>>182601879
this is your brain on chloral
don't do drugs, kids

>>182601879
15 chlorine, 5 ethanol, 5 water
thats literally all you need

>>182601879
It's a ratio of chlorine 3 everything else 1
so 15 chlorine 5 ethanol 5 water is 5 chloral
when in doubt just shit out some more chlorine

>>182601879
>Why?
The reaction produces 1 instead of 5?

God that AI was a fucking shitter and a half

>>182601879
Nigger 30 water 30 ethanol and 3x30 chlorine

>>182601879
Just pick an autoinjector, dump the DD in it and do >>182602073
Once your done, fill the autoinjector and you have a sleep injector for self defense

>shuttle called because 'Gay as heck crew'
>shuttle recalled because nothing is wrong
>shuttle arrives anyways and says it'll leave in 7 minutes
>shuttle timer keeps going up, people keep boarding the shuttle
>shuttle leaves at ETA 12 and up, no shuttle music
>shuttle in transit for some seconds, people and stuff getting spaced
>shuttle arrives at centcomm and timer keeps growing

>post round griff but the round isn't over
>universe end started by admin, supermatter sea on centcomm
>round has to be manually shut down

>>182602303
buh wha if i wanna make MORE chloral than that
im not a good MD unless I have an entire backpack filled with chloral injectors, faggot

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>tfw still no ayyaifu

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SEND HELP.

>>182602303
>telling the thread how to autoinjector chloral.

CHECK THE BAN PAGE

>>182602381
Then do 5 Ethanol-15 Chroral-5 Water x5 or just do 15Ethanol-45 Chroral-15 Water

>>182602461
>not permanent
irrelevant desu

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Making it all the way to the research shuttle only for the rift to be nowhere in sight and all the remaining survivors die while they look under rocks is probably the most anticlimactic shit in spessmen imaginable.

>>182576526
Because he cannot into nearest neighbor

>>182601879
15 setting
chlorine chlorine chlorine ethanol water
chlorine chlorine chlorine ethanol water

>>182602461
>AI is a shitter the entire round while purged
>Gets put on paladin, still screaming at the crew
>Wipe it
>Get banned
wew lad

>>182602697
The rift doesn't even properly send you to the beach 99% of the time.

>>182603143
>thinking you can wipe non-hostile AIs with laws just because you don't like them

wew lad

lets not start with vanillas massive list of notes either

one day is a gentle slap on the wrist

>>182603556
>just because you don't like them
Depends on how much of a twat it's being.

>>182603556
Is there a problem?

>>182593547
>>182593752
So /vg/ station is DarkCity in space? I can dig it

>>182603556
post their notes

http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=3857

>>182604724
>asking to have your notes posted
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ru8DMW-grY

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>>182605117
It's not the first time someone's tried to shitstir on the thread with my notes. Ghlor even made a nice .png about how 'shit' I seemed to be to admins.

Last time I requested to see my notes it wasn't gotten back to either. Might as well ask here and now.

>>182604724
>appealing a 1 day ban

Hmmm.

>>182604724
>communism and BETA

What's the story there?

>>182605664
Bullshit is bullshit
You can't make people bow out just because 'lol so short'

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This is how i do genetics, r8

>>182605979
ICK OCK

>>182605664
inb4 Saronsen dissapears for a day and just lets the ban run out

>being called dishonorable for drag-decapitating the already unconscious wizard

Are humans meant to follow AI laws now? What's wrong with killing an antag?

>>182605979
slow/10
>not killing the monkeyman
>not following the mutagen meta

I don't wanna play on deff anymore

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For anon from last thread

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What started it all

>>182606456
fantastic

>>182606375
>literal shitlord claims deff is bestmap and people follow him because he does not shut up
>Everyone complains when deff does arrive
m e m e s

guys, for some reason I can't hear music in the game, like jukebox music.

Does anyone have an idea as to why that may be and possibly how to fix it?

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>>182606456

>>182606326
Can I get a quick rundown?

>we have avocados in the game now
>guacamole is still made with ice peppers

>>182606667
http://ss13.moe/wiki/index.php/Troubleshooting#Jukebox

>>182606694
dosing heavily with small increments of unstable mutagen can help you quickly mark off disabilities as mutagen is way more likely to bring up disabilities than powers, the biggest powergamers use a spray bottle of mutagen and a naked monkeyman

>stop playing spess for a few weeks because it's getting kind of shitty
>start getting my life together
>come check the thread and ban page
>souhei is banned
>plaugewalker is banned
It's so hard to quit.

>>182606273
You should be respectful in your victory, not dismembering them

>>182606786
>we have green eggs
>we have ham
>green eggs and ham use none of these

>>182606843
>don't have VLC installed
well that explains that, thanks

>>182606273
Pretty sure the ai called them dishonorable for doing that and so saronsen figures they wiped them for that along with other reasons.

>>182607096
>not dismembering a wizard

wew

>>182606786
The item description states that ice peppers were judged to be way better at making guac than avacados after their creation. Get with the times.

>>182607064
>check the forum pages after
>see that Xander appealed and Saronsen seems to actually be considering it
Suddenly it just got easier.
See you, fags.

>>182607176
Check logs, saronsen was the one to do it with subtlepms

Honestly, if they aren't lying about the order of events it seems like it should be lifted. If you're still acting up after multiple purge, [core law module]swipes then something is up, be it remote upload, traitor or malf and it needs to be destroyed. That's just how it goes. You can't pingpong forever with all the damage that comes from it.

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>pull one over on a static or turboshitter
>they inevitably comment about it and shit-talk you in thread

lol I didn't even know the AI had its laws reset. I think it might have killed comms and never turned them back on too.

>>182607000
seems like you have a high risk of losing out on powers with that method

>>182607396
Why wipe it once it's contained in the card though? I wasn't in that game. Were the borgs still doing shit?

>>182607796
Why bother keeping alive a tool that exists only to fuck you over?

>>182607617
>Intellicard lets you see their current laws
:thinking:

>>182607620
Disabilities get marked as 801, and abilities don't. When it does activate them it marks them above 801, I usually have it activate them as BEA or such.

>>182607879
>Ai still acts like shit even though it's not purged

Wait a minute these almonds....

Bittervanilla, when you card them, use the card and it'll show you its laws. It will NOT show any autotraitor law 0 or the malf law. It's been too long so I don't remember if it even shows ionic laws. What I do know, is that after you purge and lawset them twice there's a clear problem that is only going to be resolved with a wipe and disposing properly of the intellicard so it can't be found or admin teleported and restored

AI's have to be in a core to upload laws to them.

>>182607617
Dig in the hrefs and you can see if it killed comms.

>>182607796
Borgs will still be an issue as whatever caused them to act out persists until you delink and purge asimov them or preferably just blow them, space spare borg frames, delete borg tech from the server/fabs, and put them in mommi's or human bodies to get it immediately cleaned up.

>>182607879
None that actually matter. The only useful thing you ever get out of it is 4. [anonymous] is the only human.
If they've been repeatedly fixed and they're still acting out they get the jackboot

>>182606456
This is fantastic, thanks for doing it

>>182607620
90% of disabilities and 10% of powers (it's actually a 2% powers rate iirc) marked off leaving only relatively good stuff blank cuts down your time from start to useful power discovery

Shots fired in the ban appeal bitter, get to it.

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Post some autism

>>182608201
>>182607620
Do it with two monkeys lying on top of each other

The thread replies nuke gave basically prove that he doesn't/can't read

>first time I survive ops long enough to set the nuke
>goes flawlessly
best feel

>>182608881
>two of your fellow faggoteers die
>goes flawlessly

>>182608939
one got drunk and the other fucked off while the three who lived actually went for the disk

>>182608582
Fun fact, machines will no longer be able to fire on monkeys and other non human mobs thanks to dragonbros pr, if its merged.

Thanks Dragonbro, just what we all wanted.

>>182609028
drunk ops is fun!

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One of the few times I bother to setup a service borg gimmick everything explodes.

I CANNOT SERVE CUSTOMERS IF YOU EXPLODE THE CUSTOMERS PRICKS

>nukeops
>dodge miraculously 2 telebombs
>get to sec for guns
>guy with the disk already buckilng up for the anal commando
>gear up and get ready for the fight
>400ms as I see the first nukeop, cant even shoot he teleports into the door and stuns me with the smg
Broke my heart. Poor guy had to 1v3 the nukeops.

>>182608748
After being around nuke for years, does this surprise you in any way? Just throw logs at him so he shuts up

>>182608881
>Diff round
>Plan A goes up in flames
>Plan B Op bros pull off a miracle under fire
>Tfw you fuck it up for the team and get a minor victory solely because you're a dumbass
It hurts to live

>>182609037
We'll also get hostile machines back which was disabled because it killed lowpop stations dead

>>182607519
republic commando nostalgia just hit hard as fuck

>>182609156
I'm not yred

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>>182608881
>ops flooding the station
>bombs wrecked the place
>no suit, no guns, nothing but fists, grit and a sweet ride
>go for that one in a million chance
>actually get it
>go on to kill two ops, die while driving full tilt towards the nuke
Never underestimate a janitor with nothing to lose

>>182609120
>AI
>Try to put a barrier between ops and dude in hopes he gets away
>uses them as a last stand instead
>gets fucked on both sides

>>182609323
thanks for the extra ride guy, it was useful to not get ZAS all round and keeping the music

hey, i'm quitting space forever so I thought I'd share the gimmicks I haven't tried yet
>setting an AI to Protect Station and then holding it hostage with TTVs and forcing it to kill the crew
>Necroclown (pray for necromancer robes, carry a staff, drag around a hanging skeleton model from cargo)
>Monkeyclown, (wearing the monkey suit expanding a few hundred monkey cubes outside medbay)
>being a good captain
>making a teleporter in the bar, moving the bar equpiment to the salvage shuttle, and putting a teleporter beacon in your shuttle bar
>galloshes + invisibility robe wiz

>>182607839
Because it's expensive and it's sentient. Like I said, I wasn't in that round so I don't know how bad the borg situation was.

>>182609495
the monkey shit has been done before and it's really obnoxious grief.

>>182609359
Thanks for trying AI, we died fighting the good fight

>>182609545
If an EXPENSIVE tool is still attempting to fuck you over, then it's silly to go off of sunk costs to keep it active, especial if you already tried to fix it.

>>182593752
>>182593547
This should be official lore

Sadly the administration won't allow it

Which one of you is my chaser

>>182610572
That won't work, the shard must be in the center

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>>182588160
Nanotrasen is essentially Andrei Ulmeyda's cult from Killer7 and is run by a mysterious weirdo a la pic related.

>>182609750
NT could do a thorough diagnostic on it. I mean it's similar to not executing every potential perma prisoner because they're just get out and fuck you over and the post game world is imaginary.

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>>182610683
But it did work.