/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

>want to do a fun gimmick
>pretend to be a communist
>everyone hates me more than a lubing clown
>decide to seize the means of production by myself
>go to the HoP's office, break in, break his ID console, his table and the other console
>Zalika, the sec officer comes in
>try to convert her to communism
>stuns and cuffs me
>call for a borg to help
>BETA comes in, stuns Zalika and uncuffs me
>cuff Zalika
>strip her naked in front of the HoS
>stuff her into a locker, weld and throw in the arrivals shuttle
>hide in maint until a borg finds me
>harmbatons me four times
>takes me to the brig
>tazes Zalika when she tried to brig me
>finally get brigged for nine minutes
>everytime time goes down, the AI raises it
>kill myself

You guys are no fun

My body is in the morgue

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Nth for being squeezed by Caleigh Stall's thighs.

>someone actually remade this trash general

That was a nice ten minute break
Time to rev up the funposting about waifus and try and get more people banned then

>>161760045
But how does that relate to communism?

>>161760045
>fun gimmick
>one of the overdone ones like communism
choose one and only one

>>161760173
Ace is mine shove off

I'm glad sawbones is unbanned

Does killing Ian make you valid salid for everyone else or only for the HoP?

>>161760045
>I dont understand a gimmick but I'm going to try one anyway because YOLO

Go back to youtube dumbfuck, we don't want you here

http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=36&t=3157&start=20

Please give me feedback anon-San!

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What are some subtle fun ways to grief people, besides brewing space lube and shoving them in garbage compactors

>>161761049
you're garbage, deadmin yourself

>>161760930
Why don't you kill him and find out?

>>161761086
steal their bag, put a mousetrap in it and then give it back

>>161760930
Just the HoP but realistically someone will probably fight you.

>>161761086
Ignore them
Gets some people so anally twisted they grudge you until the next year and shitpost a plenty

>>161760930
Killing station pets is a crime, if someone beats the shit out of you on the excuses of street justice and doesn't hide the body, valid salad.

Course, the HoP can and will kill you, debrain you, space the body, remove any genetic backups you might have and make braincake he will feed to his new pet, Lisa.

Sorry Jim. I thought I could rescue you from the clutches of security with a law change, but the AI was too quick for me. Maybe I just made things worse.

A dirty station triggers me like nothing else.

>>161761086
Run around maint snipping wires.
Steal all the food/medkits/other useful stuff you can and demand payment for them.
Break into places just to steal stuff instead of taking it.

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REMOVE TREE

>>161761969
Are there any things that CANT be cleaned, like robot debris on deff? I'd like to fix all that up because it's irritating to find decals that aren't "real"

>>161761086
Keep harm/grab/disarm on, and keep bumping into them in the hallway/pushing them when they're at a desk.

Take things they're working on away from them and make them chase after you, or throw it in the disposals.

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>be diona nymph
>ventcrawl into the cap's office, find braindead cap, strip his shit
>realize he had a SPS, immediately jump into disposals
>half a second later the HoS comes in
>looks around for 30 seconds, stopping right next to disposals twice, bin won't flush for some reason
>stay in there until he leaves
>use my newfound spare ID to discretely enter all the secure places I can and disposals everything of value
>sec doesn't suspect a thing
>eventually get caught
>had my spare ID inside a box filled with 7 activated mousetraps
>mfw warden slowly and painfully sticks his hands in there over and over

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Man, being a bartender is really chill. I'm really enjoying this so far.

>>161761969
Alright folks, in response to this, learn this neat lil trick from me.

Carbon, blood and vomit in grenades will make the station a absolutely filthy place, rush the cockroach near south medical and get it to someplace safe, drop random trash and food near it, watch a completely pandemic of roaches, get the eggs and relocate them hidden in places like under tables and shit, nobody ever finds them, spread enough of em and the station descends into turk vile.

>slippy tells me to stuncuff robotics
>robotics tells me to not listen to slippy
>hear from a borg that slippy is in the upload
>go there to make sure no funny business happens
>slippy tells me to turloads on
>can't hear him
>wiggle

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>Become Jim, the nice diona
>Go to perma, raise diona
>Get told the tale of Gustavo finding a sec ID and raiding evidence
>Security patrolling everywhere, he tries to break out, they see him and chastise him
>Put him in a body bag, say he's dead
>People come by, and take him away
>Power goes out
>My children are greentiding
>Slate just wants us all out
>See Gustavo in solitary
>Get forced out by slate
>Head to the AI core and talk with the tree
>Guard the upload
>Watch Bear Hands set himself on fire due to a diona roasting him
>One of my diona want to upload a law involving me
>Get arrested until they take prints
>Tree is now in front of medbay, try to protect him, fail
>Depressed, head to the holodeck
>Gustavo talks me into leaving the station
I shouldn't be feeling anything, and yet I am

Many newfolks, good to see.

>>161762270
Last time I was a bartender some station engineer came and rebuilt the bar into a giant circular table that encompassed the bar than put in windows and a custom door that only allowed me access

was tits but I had to go to work after he completed it :'(

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>>161762273
Delete this.

>>161762438
Fuxk no, hell, I just remembered, its blood, vomit, carbon and radium/unstable mutagen grenades, it makes such a ungodly mess, its great.

>>161762219
You adorable little shit.

>>161762219
Gloves block the mousetrap damage, it was more an annoyance than anything.

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>>161762415
Wow, sounds neat. I didn't get anything quite like that, but some guy was cool enough to clone me a whole army of monkeys to act as mascots for the bar.
Also, shoutouts to Noah, Grey and Mark, my best customers!

if im a milf, an i activate delta, and hack apcs while delta is active, will that shorten the countdown, or will the countdown only be as low corresponding to however many apcs i had before i engaged delta

>>161762646
It was an annoyance and it was so sweet.

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>>161762313
Good round.

>>161762219
This shit is why I always carry welders with me, so I can kill all nymph's, if you were a decent nymph you'd have stayed in botany till you grew up you lil son of a bitch.

Fucking tree niggers, its a good thing you tiny ones are valid.

>be security officer
>there's a random-ass bird with a revolver in his hand in plain hallway
>can't shoot worth shit, either
>after that's taken care of, go check out a maint call
>engineer shows up dragging the shard
>throws something into the shard to abuse insta-screenwide stun, then throws me into the shard
>then the idiot touches the shard and ashes himself too
>ghost immediately goes braindead as soon as he dies
Wow.
The two opposite extremes of "muh antag roll".
And both of them make me sick.

>>161763007
>I'm unrobust
>IT'S EVERYONE ELSES FAULT

Post your shit on reddit please, we're here to dicuss spess and not stroke your ego

>>161763524
why make shitty bait?
who benefits?

>>161762313
When you opened that door to the bar after i convinced you it unleashed hell on earth on my ass, the wind was so powerful is sucked me in the bar backroom from the mule entry, smashed my skull and proceeded to pull me out of here.
It's a miracle i got out alive.

>>161763524
>wanting to be robust
>thinking you can only have fun if you're robust

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Has Intigracy gone off the deep end?

>>161763007
Someone copied my shard technique from earlier that day? What an imitator faggot.

>>161765091
someone post "the metaclub must be removed from our server"

>>161765091
Wow all this salt over a shitty voice chat channel.

>>161765091
not really no

>>161765091
Intigracy is right though, Kolith is still so immature. Celt made a giant mistake when he even considered re-adminning him after he got 1. Banned for being a fucking terrible player
and 2. got his admin taken away because he constantly fucked up and then spammed the banlog with the bee movie script.
How much has he even adminned since coming back?

Hating Kolith is a stupid fucking meme. Cluster is much worse and has complete control over the server from his coding ivory tower.

>>161765176
Using the shard to kill people is nothing new

>>161765595
the difference being Clusterfack is a god complex sociopath but still single-handedly made the entire server the best performing one worldwide
Kolith is just a dipshit full-time with nothing of worth to make up for it

>>161765754
I have no idea why people talk about clusterfack like he's literally satan.

What did he do that was so evil?

He's never closed one of my PRs without cause. He's always given me reasonable steps to having a PR merged if it did not meet a standard.

@Kolith

Resign now, go out whilst you still have dignity. Your days are numbered, you will not last a week.

>>161765935
t. Cluster

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>>161766010

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

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>tfw want to code
>don't even know how to hello world
coders please code good skills for me thanks

>>161766290
?

>>161766330
http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=2476

>>161766290
For once, people realize that kolith and company don't actually help out the server a lot and that their admin status isn't actually contributing much.

If anyone does stupid law breaking shit whilst admins ain't here, you make a ban request with logs and they will ban anyways, they tend to wait till round end for bans anyhow, so not like it matters.

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Finished.

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Reposting my World Record SS13 Speed run 100%
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTd1N8z2V2A

>>161766940
I am going to beat your time

>Uncleaned Messes: 626 (-626 Points)
>Trash on Station: 6 (-6 Points)

BUZZ

>>161767021
Clean it harder.

>Throw away Slippy's stupid balaclava
>Steal hand tp to fuck around with
>Wild ride clones me immediately when laser'd
Clowning successful.

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>trying to hit the blinking wizard

>>161763007
>not carrying a spray bottle to constantly spray the shard

>>161765631
But still rare since it's easy to shard yourself like a dumbass. This and most people doesn't even know what a shard is or what it's mechanics are.

So whats the deal with other races?
What are the benefits?

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>untalented youtube animator uploads "lets play space station 13"
>sudden surge in griefing faggots
>they all act like it's TTT in space
>they post dumb shit in the thread like "how to grief without get ban"

FOSTER
TURN ON THE FUCKING PANIC BUNKER

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>>161766940
>seeweed nigger got so buttblasted I called him mediocre as fuck, he went full autist and started speed running

My sides.

>>161767339
The shard is a powergaming tool used by shitty engineers to put the entire station in a blackout while they play autism fort for screenshot bragging.

Kolith doesn't admin.

I log on during his timeslot. Past two weeks I've seen him maybe twice during my 2 rounds a day.


I'd take Dizor over Kolith, at least they'd log in.

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>>161767237

>>161767448
fuck off back to youtube

>>161767536
youre just jealous of my time

>>161767730
I can beat your time

>>161767798
you can't execute my frame perfect pill grabs, honey. i'd like to see you try, honestly. whatever : )

>>161766940
>>161767870
are pomfcoin unlocks allowed in this speedrun?

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>>161767494
I thought you were meming
Then i saw that you are right

Panic bunker when?

>>161767448
Grey:

Advantage: Send a mind message to anyone you've heard speak in person before. Usually abused by metafags to send messages to their friends when they are getting the succ

Disadvantage: Water is polyacid

Diona:
Immense brute regeneration, basically unbeatable in any fight that involves brute
No blood

Disadvantage:
Moves slowly (but every diona just downs hyperzine to go at full speed anyway)
Takes 200-250% extra burn damage, so if you get lasered or welded, it's goodnight

Plasmamen:

+Half damage from burns
+Start with a hardsuit

-Have to breathe plasma or die
-Have to keep their suit on or die (in a fire)
-Take 1.5x brute damage
-Ss-ssss-ss

Vox

+Start with a hardsuit
+Vox metaclub is tight as fuck, they love eachother

-Have to breathe nitrogen or die
-Everyone except Vox hate you

Skeleton:

+Doesnt need to breathe

Disadvantages:

-No pills
-Extremely crackable
-ACK ACK

What metaclub members are even left to be made trialmin?

>>161767494
I'm pretty sure it is on t b h. Been on for awhile

>>161768167
wheres it redirecting to?

>>161768027
>skeleton not listed as a + for being a skeleton

I don't think you can get internal bleeding either. Surgery on skeletons is easy peasy

Reminder that Kolith can not be deadminned. DrCelt is his friend. He'll at best remove a flag and say " last chance in serious"

Show the admins you hate Kolith, reply to this post with your ckey and together we can get Kolith deadminned.

>>161768167
It hasn't, been toggled off thanks to pub and he refuses to turn it back on for no good reason, even pomf noticed it when I asked if it was on.

>>161768231
Fuck if I know

>>161768138
Xenovix and amikawaii, but they mostly just jerk eachother off rather than participate in the larger jerk

Zenny

>>161768027
Actually
Diona:
+Immense brute and toxin regeneration (IN LIGHT), basically unbeatable in any fight that involved brute or toxin (IN LIGHT)
+This means you can overdose on almost anything with no repercussions (IN LIGHT)
+No blood
+No o2 damage, ever

-Moves slowly (hyperzine fixes this, but soon hyperzine will only have partial effectiveness, so they're about 60% as fast as humans plus immunity to slowdown, which is fine)
-Takes 200-250% extra burn damage and can never heal it without meds, so if you get lasered or welded, it's goodnight
-Cannot regen in the dark
-Cannot ride mechs or hide in lockers without losing regen (and dying very quickly of overdose)

>>161768254
xeno366
kolish and kuranon is SHIT

>>161768254
xenovix

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>>161768497
>kuranon
>shit

>>161768254
lemonthefruit

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>>161768339
I thought that too, but the last times I went to go check it it asks if I want to turn it off, not on.

>>161768254
Mikecari

>>161767937
thatd be for a different division. this is a 100% glitchless speedrun

>>161768987
>pomfcoins
>glitch
?

>>161768832
I sincerely doubt pjb had a sudden change of heart, go ask pomf and pjb at the discord, ask when pjb allowed it back on and ask pomf if its actually working or not, and if it is, where it is directing to.

>>161769061
they arent a glitch but they break the rules for a glitchless speedrun according to the SS13 speedrunning community. I don't make the rules

>>161769061
>?
That's not how you ask a question.

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>>161768694
he ban me for hit doctor with flower. no reason ban, kuranon is shit

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>>161766452
thanks anonymoose
>>161767494
they keep using memes and abbreviations

https://youtu.be/_fTC_Ud_k3U?t=372
tesla guns when

Haven't played since 2013, who are the current mods so i know who to fuck with?

>>161769502
>Hitting yourself or the floor more than others
Unless you have a ablative vest, I don't think so.

>>161770715
http://ss13.moe/index.php/admins

>>161770768
its fine he shoots himself with it in the same video

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>>161770715
http://ss13.moe/index.php/admins

>>161769502
when you take the Power Glove code and mash it with a gun

>>161770831
What got Deadpool deadmined?

>>161771167
he quit, and then returned to being a huge toe the line griefer and got banned a few times

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Catalogue of Youtube Faggots 1.0
>spankman
>[19:49:59]SAY: Felix Echardi/Spankman (@296,257,1) As Galactic Common : My penis grows when I think of dead monkeys
>[20:28:06]ADMIN: HELP: Spankman/(Felix Echardi): quick question, can people kill while in escape pods if not antag? - heard by 1 non-AFK admins.

>snowstorm11871
>only plays engineer
>runs around breaking windows 4noraisin
>doesnt speak to anyone
>jumps into space every round without setting up power

>cacogen
>plays a grey named Ayy Lmao
>uses mind projection to get around being mute as mime
>uses chat acronyms in IC

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>>161771167
Deadpoo is one of the shittiest admins we've ever had
He would play while adminned and bwoink people over IC matters... about himself. Literally *BWOINK* WHY DID YOU TURN OFF THE LIBRARY APC I WAS IN THERE

>>161771270
ahelp them all

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When will the coders fix Cluwne banning for admins?

>>161771270
I don't see why we would need the panic bunker, no one even knows our server -pjb

TURN IT ON

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Fun fact: The longest disposals ride possible is a package tagged "Disposals" flushed down the Janitor's office. It loops through the entire station to travel 6 meters.

>>161771353
Didn't he make a HoS clumsy and ban him when he couldn't shot his gun?

>>161771712
I dont know if I believe you

>>161771994
What's there not to believe?

>>161771417
>49 people on
>saturday night
>not even 50 people

Fuck off

>>161772035
it really shouldn't work that way and I have no idea how it would work if it did not. Its junctions right there.

>>161772035
WAIT MY BAD I THOUGHT YOU WROTE SENDING A PACKAGE TO THE JANITOR THROUGH DISPOSALS I'M DUMB

>>161765091
No. He's the only sane one left.

>>161771270
>snowstorm11871
Don't let me start on that faggot.

>>161772457
do tell.

>>161771270
[02:44:34]ADMIN: PM: JustSumGuy/(Mao FungChin)->Snowstorm-11871/(Vito Vercetti): >"End the round, faggot."
[02:44:54]ADMIN: PM: Snowstorm-11871/(Vito Vercetti)->JustSumGuy/(Mao FungChin): IC my character used to be a nerd and treats the world like a video game sometimes
[02:45:06]ADMIN: PM: JustSumGuy/(Mao FungChin)->Snowstorm-11871/(Vito Vercetti): "My character is retarded" is not an excuse to OOC in IC
[02:45:16]ADMIN: PM: Snowstorm-11871/(Vito Vercetti)->JustSumGuy/(Mao FungChin): I didnt say my character was retarded
[02:45:32]ADMIN: PM: Snowstorm-11871/(Vito Vercetti)->JustSumGuy/(Mao FungChin): I said I was stupid-JUST ARE YOU THE CAPTAIN
[02:45:43]ADMIN: PM: Snowstorm-11871/(Vito Vercetti)->JustSumGuy/(Mao FungChin): FUCK.
[02:45:51]ADMIN: PM: JustSumGuy/(Mao FungChin)->Snowstorm-11871/(Vito Vercetti): ???

>>161772457
Please, do.

>>161772237
It's OK Probe, I still love you!

>>161772457
>>161772715
NO!

does anybody have the picture of the glowing kudzu?

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>>161773086
Here you go senpai

>>161773392
this isn't it

>>161773430
It is, you just have to watch real hard.

>>161760173
No. Her locker is mine!

>>161766940
>changes the speed of the recording halfway through

DO YOU EVEN SPEEDRUN?

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>>161765091
>kolith assuming he's actually good at his job

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>Tfw wage slaving so hard to a corrupt corp irl that you have no motivation to be a wage slave to a corrupt mega corp in spess

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>>161772805
I'm Eborp the friendly clown, not Probe. Probes not a retard! honk!

>>161773654
>you'll never raid Caleigh's gym locker and steal her sweaty work out clothes

Haha. I'm no creep but could you imagine what it would smell like?

Haha

>>161774628
But I have been in her locker a lot.

i just want to hold her and tell her everything will be okay ;_;

>>161774835
Ate you sure you're not mistaking that locker as the closet, you fucking faggot.

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>>161771270
what's your attraction to this "spankman"?

he spoke two messages yet you are so bothered

>>161774263
You could roleplay a lazy piece of shit who drinks himself dead every round by 12:10

>>161775181
I think it's because youtubers are being shitheads and bringing attention to the game again.

Solon, Pewdiepie will come around.
When that day comes, prepare your anus.

How much money do I need to donate to pomf to get that other serb he promised in his patreon goals shit

Hey, it's me.
So I had a dream about us again last night.
This time we were standing at arrivals andwatching the meteor storm, your hair and your dress gently flowed as you breathed. You looked as beautiful as ever.
We sat down and watches the stars twinkle across the endless space.
As the meteor shower ended, we had each other for warmth.
With your head on my shoulder and my arm around you, assuring you you will always be safe with me, we thought about our past and our future together.
I thought about how lucky I was to have you in my life, you've brought me so much joy, love, happiness. The kind that I had never experienced before you came along.
You then tried to break free from the handcuffs. The muffled sound of your sweet voice through the muzzle was probably an "I love you."
I love you too.
Always and forever.

>>161777403
Stop posting this about me

>>161777403
I had a dream last night and it was really heartbreaking.
I was off to battle, and I had a sister or daughter, only young, and a wife. And they were complaining that I was fighting a war, but I was the good guy and was proud of my contribution to the war effort. I was really articulate in my dream, but I got angry with them and started shouting about slavery, which I guess was the reason for the war (we were paramilitaries, not soldiers). My commander said to me after that argument that they loved the man that they thought I was, but didn't love the man that I truly was and that I was a good man. Then I cried. Then I woke up.

>>161777705
i had a dream i was playing with my pubes on the bus and some kids were looking at me horrified and i said "dont worry, i'm pube-o the clown" then i was in a court trial for something.

anybody know what this means?

Does Ailsa shave all their bodyhair?

>>161777836
That you will fall in love with cream pies.

>a fuckton of people on server
>no admins
ANSWER THE FUCKING AHELPS NIGGERS

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>when the AI and borgs are stressing over no power but you got this sick high-octane meme as a backup engine to the help the retard engineers

>>161777897
ask ic next time he's online

>>161777547
Are you my waifu? The one I've been waiting for?
Please find me... It's so lonely.

>>161777836
I said to stop posting about me

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>>161777985
>nobody got chloral dispensered into the shard

>>161772680
[12:18:52]ADMIN: ATTACK: CHUCKLEFUCK 9000 (snowstorm11871) primed Cleaner Grenade.
[12:18:52]ADMINWARN: <span class="admin"><span class="prefix">ADMIN LOG:</span> <span class="message">ATTACK: CHUCKLEFUCK 9000 (snowstorm11871) primed Cleaner Grenade.</span></span> he was a mommi. he also tried to set maint on fire and hit randome people with the chaps bible that round

>>161777836
They're visions of the future. While I'm fighting for the liberty and dignity of my fellow men, or maybe even an attractive species of alien, becoming a famous hero and later coming home with a new wife because my relationship broke down due to the war, you'll be serving time for showing kids your pubes and that other anon will be making up stories about his fake GF to tell people on /r9k/.

>>161778032
sorry pube-o

>spend all round in DJ station with a bunch of station bound radios and a crew monitoring computer
Comfy. It's like some kind of ghetto AI but I don't have to put up with the stupid shit they do.

>>161778024
I'm a man but you can be my waifu if you want. I'll have you dress up as a qt girl and everything

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byond pls

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People unironically use discord.

A closed source localized TimeWarner owned trap for casuals and normies.

>from a stolen mask to a bloodbath on science
Talk about escalation

>>161778120
how much time is indecent exposure? i could probably be fine

>>161759997
ded serber.

>>161778194
wow look at all those things i don't give a fuck about

>>161766940
>his mom came in and yelled at him while he was recording and he didn't edit it out
kekked

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>>161778085
And i even forgot to turn on the biological filter at disposals. I'm also glad nobody died to it's rads

>>161778225
>scare vox into stopping with a few fireaxe swings
>defuse it peacefully
>go to drag my co-worker's dead body and head to medical
>die from internal bleeding in airlock
>not found for 10 minutes
>shoved in morgue as soon as i'm found

>>161778272
ded byond.

Watching dragonburu super while waiting for server.

>>161778395
Suit sensors

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>>161759997
tfw have an original perfect nazi gimmick planned where I kill da jews antag or not XD

>>161778395
>shoved in morgue as soon as i'm found
I made sure to check every dead body I found in the cloner before shoving them into the morgue.

Did I miss you or did someone else handle you?

t. CMO

Serbs up

>>161778381
I actually ran in there twice to investigate not realizing there was a fucking SME
thank fuck I was diona and only got some hallucinations
At some point the blast door opened and somehow got tons of maint depressurized.

>>161778456
It's doragonbōru sūpā you fucking casual

>>161778120
if my waifu ever loves me back i won't need fake stories, but for now, this is the only way to be together. handcuffed and muzzled, we can do everything we always wanted, and she can't call security on me!

>>161778285
That's because you are likely under 18 and therefor do not know of a world that doesn't have you glued to two dozen different "social apps" every waking moment of your life. As long as your little dopamine receptors keep on getting pounded you don't care about anything, ignorance is bliss I guess.

>>161778492
yeah probably should have, but to be fair we were in the science airlock, not like we were hidden in deff maints
>>161778524
i think someone else handled me, wasn't too big of a deal anyways, was having a good time chatting in the deadchat

free kingston

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Best job selection coming through

>>161778614
install gentoo

>>161778546
>At some point the blast door opened and somehow got tons of maint depressurized.
Thank Mercy faust who unbolted and hacked every door open

>>161778750
I like that name

I'm reserving judgement on their capabilities but they seem okay.

>>161778650
I was just saying that because I was in the DJ station watching the monitoring computer all shift, informing medical and sec whenever someone died. Plus suit sensors are amazing regardless, unless you're an antag.

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>>161778707
Here is the better one, ignore his shitty one.

>>161778573
>>At some point the blast door opened and somehow got tons of maint depressurized.
that was the shitter janitor exploding his cart in a welder tank

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>be diona nymph, jump down disposals
>someone rerouted disposals to lead to telecomms
>after a few minutes of being stunlocked by turrets I manage to block them off with vending machines
>decide to make telecomms my new home!
>or I try, because it's a fucking MESS of trash and glass shards
>CE comes in to upload a buttbot blocking script, show him how disposals leads to telecomms
>as I'm showing him that, fucking POLY comes out of disposals somehow
>I now have a roommate
>poly perches itself on a console and slowly picks up all the trash for me

>>161760045
>i know i griefed a player for no good reason for shitty unfunny gimmicks but you guys are no fun lmao

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>>161778707
>install gentoo
what did he mean by this?

>>161778892
>someone rerouted disposals to lead to telecomms
FUCKING CARBONS

AYO BWAAAK UP

>picks trader and trades nothing and goes to the station roundstart for a hop ID

SO YOU BE OF SAYING

>ahelps after getting murdered by a miner for releasing his pokemon that you stole

THAT BIRBS

>Speaks in the only bad-english gimmick thats unfunny and overdone

WUZ

>Law2's borgs to uncuff him and tase every human

SPACE EMPERORS AND SHIET?

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>>161779443

>>161779734
I should add "LAW 2 UNCUFFING ME AND TASERLY THE HUMANS" to that, keep it updated

>>161779734
>vox speaking in bad english while in pidgin
This will never not trigger me

free kingston

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based on a true story

test server questions
1. is there any way to get to centcom
2. how do I spawn mechs

>>161779974
you forgot the panel whereyou rip him limb from limb because he is A) a vox and B) clearly causing probably human harm

>>161779734
this is not so accurate recently

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>>161781479
as soon as those 2 shitters got jobbanned the awful trader meme died instantly

>Hali is a girls name
>Mustardtiger is called Hali
O-oh my

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>>161782094
Slow weekend and have nothing to do?

Anyone know a place you can buy helium and mask globally?

>>161782464
Why globally?

>>161782535
Not an american.

>>161770843
Fucks sake foster, your editing got shoddy

Even left in the /TG/o home from when it was intigracy

>>161782464
No but there are tall buildings almost everywhere
You can fly!

>>161782578
If you can't be bothered to look it up in your own langauge what hope do you have on an english image board?

>>161782914
if a website delivers internationally you'd think they have that written down in english

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>be me
>see qtp2t mime lady
>asks for milkies
>no give

w-why?

>>161783150
you didn't say please obviously

>>161768027
>>161768479
So whats the funnest race?
And whats a good goal to give myself as a Mime?

I just started playing this yesterday and I'm pretty hooked. Had some very helpful people in game show me the ropes of some of the jobs.

>>161783618
The funnest race will usually end up being human unless you're experienced with the game and need something to spice it up. Not being limited is for the best especially for a new player. You'll pick up some bad habits with a species like vox or dionaea

Todays hint of the day:

Getting in a fight in the holodeck during a basketball game? You can grab and dunk your opponent through a hoop in a single grab!

>that plasma kudzu

>>161778857
>yreds descent into misery

>DEAD: Frank McRib spooks, ">My target didn't come to the shuttle"
>DEAD: Frank McRib drones, "Its not fair"

You had the entire round and there are also escape pods...

>tfw could't fufill my vox meta club obligation because of low fps

Where do I see the logs and shit of past rounds?

Good round for robotics. Thank you AM. Thank you RD. Thank you AI.

Wonder what happened to my bony coworker.

>>161784220
He latejoined fwiw

>>161784270
read the op

>>161784292
>thank you ai

feels good man

So as xenoarch if I'm just looking for large artifacts would the rock I scan initially show a reading of 0, regardless of excavation, or do I have to excavate to uncover that reading?

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>cool vox captain destroyed by security

How much does medical nanobots heal per tick? Sometimes it feels like it instantly heals everything and sometimes it seems to tick.

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>>161767494
Happens every couple of months.
Not that big a deal.
He's probably one of them.

>>161784292
I told you a few times, he got the succ on the asteroi and was never found again
Thanks for the meat-shield ody at escape

>>161784349
You have to excavate it first. You might have noticed that during mining, when you mine a tile there will sometimes be "debris" left behind. Tiles with a large artifact always leave this debris (when properly excavated) and you have to turn on the plasma-saturated field setting on your field generator and brush the debris till the artifact pops out

>when there are lings on the station and security goes for vox valids 1 hour into a shift

>>161784562
Vox captains are MUCH more obnoxious than lings. You got what you deserved.

>>161784292
I bashed my skull in, got healed, crawled into disposals, bashed my arm and legs, and then got dragged off to the asteroid and sucked up.

>>161784430
>give sec a gygax
>never see it in the halls
At least someone got to ride in style.

I still don't know how he ended up on the roid. He was in robotics. He was bashed with a toolbox when I came back after delivering Oddy #1. I took him to Medbay and later saw him in the hallway alive and moving, and then securities eyeing me up and he's missing.

>>161784697
>give [any department except mining] a mech
grave mistake
the only things mechs are good for are mining, murderbone, and shuttlegriff
maybe theoretically a blob or alium round that will never, ever fucking happen

>>161784657
>Vox captains
Didn't we have a commit to fix this? Was it not merged already?

>>161782721
A) That was the first ever made
B) Aurx is an admin from/on TG.

>>161784898
I actually regretted not making a firefighter ripley when I thought about what to make next. It would have been a nice "hey I acknowledge you and this mech exists" for engineering.

Not that its particularly useful.

>>161784975
From what I heard, it's being bypassed by people who had bird captain prefs saved before it was removed.

>>161784975
You can't ROUNDSTART nonhuman captain. You can latejoin as one, however. Also, if you had captain in your jobs before it changed, you still can be a nonhuman captain roundstart.

>>161785063
it's ok they wouldn't have used it anyways

>>161784898
a gygax with a taser and jail cells is good for capturing criminals

>>161785150
>be slower than a molasses glacier
>try to catch criminal
>oh no he outran me
>how could this have happened???
>go on foot
>catch criminal

>>161785279
>gygax
>slow

are we talking about the same mech?

>>161785279
>Not knowing about gygaxs second mode
I would love to see someone outrun that.

>>161785279
A gygax has a sanic mode that makes it tied for fastest mech in the game and much faster than a person on foot.

>>161785150
That's just what I went for. Taser, jail, tesla. I usually prefer to stick a self repairer in it over the jail cell since its kinda crappy that you have to cuff em first and the cuff modules yet another thing to stack in there.

Tesla, Repair, regular Laser is pretty sick.

>>161785121
>>161785112
LET THE BANS FLOW
REMOVE THE POX

>>161785317
>>161785362
>>161785438
you need to physically get the mech near the criminal before even considering activating turbocelldrain mode (now with required leg repairs afterwards!)
just you try answering to calls on where the criminal is

>>161784657
wasn't me senpai

>>161785498
I do senpai. I know what it's like. But saying a mech that is the same speed as on foot, and has a turbo mode that is much faster on foot, is useless cause its too slow?

>>161785715
>the same speed as on foot
are you sure you've EVER actually used a gygax?
or walked on foot?
ever?

>there's actually some autist who wants 48 hours rounds
just fucking go play on goon if you want to pretend haivng a job you tard

hi who can post the glowing kudzu picture please

>>161789146
What did NASA say?

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>>161789146
Which one?

>>161778892
>be mime
>clown and I broing around being dicks
>someone throws him into a disposal
>throw him in while he's throwing the clown in
>ENGAGE

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>>161789146
There are multiple.

>>161789835
>>161789994
wow thanks, I was thinking of exactly those

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>>161789146
But i don't have any more.

>It is another "Sec says someone is non-human but you never saw a non-human action so now you have to deny sec the valids until you see the non-human action" episode

At least he jaunted before sec went murderhappy
ZAS was MVP that round, holy hell did people succumb to ZAS.

UNBAN COOPERCAT HE DINDUNUFFIN

>tfw a qt vampire grill will never succ you dry in a maint closet

>>161789835
>>161789994
>both my screenshots
man
i miss old lighting

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>start game as MD
>check manifest
>carshalash as CMO
Lesson learned: Don't play Medbay.

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Which space waifus are the thickest?

>>161790584
Hes an ok CMO when hes not fucking rail in the virology beds

>>161779879
"We earned much coin" isn't necessarily bad English, 'coin' has traditionally been used as a synonym for 'wealth' as far back as Shakespearean works.

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>Lester Greene
>Kills one Vampire
>By blowing up a welder in Genetics
>4 dead
>Captain gives him all access
mfw

>>161790623
That looks like a pretty comfy chair but the fabric is a bit too course for my tastes

>>161790657
The use of "much" is bad English, you fucking pleb

>>161790623
i bet evangelyne would have a fat ass

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Anyone know of anything in the Wiki that's particularly off or incorrect? I'm going to start messing with shit in it and try to make it less of a crapshoot. Suggestions are also welcome.

What I have from the server at the moment:
Skeleton Surgery needs clarification.
Botany's splicing needs work.
Xenoarch. All of it.

>>161790815
No, not if coin is being used as a substitute for wealth. e.g.: "We earned much wealth" is fine, therefore "We earned much coin" is okay.

I can't believe I had to spell this out for you.

>>161790968
>"We earned much wealth" is fine
No it isn't

>>161790965
TEG guide is no good
just leaving the injectors open at 200 l/s wastes an incredible amount of heat and will have the TEG run off fast

>>161791091
???

>>161791091
are you dumb?

>>161791091
retard

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Icky cock but idc at this point

>>161791348
JANITOR, GIB IP

>>161791238
>>161791287
Muh using unnatural clauses when speaking. It's grammatically correct but sounds unnatural, so don't use it when roleplaying a conversation

>>161790584
>carsh
>a bad CMO

He's okay. Not great, but he's better than most of the braindead fucks who play CMO, since he at least makes an attempt at knowing what the fuck he's talking about. Most CMOs don't even seem to know basic chem or surgery practices nowadays.

>>161791458
Maybe you're just unused to a level of language above the one in your trailer park.

>>161790965
The page on advanced construction is incomplete, nonspecific, and occasionally inaccurate.
Specifically for two of those that i can recall: no mention of treadmills which can be upgraded to produce more power, and the parts listing for one of chemistries machines is wrong.

>>161791563
t. Carsh

>>161791563
>Most CMOs don't even seem to know basic chem
You are succinctly describing carshalash.

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Who's got the lyrics for Don Aman, off of Pomf's hit album Chickenland?

>>161791629
>I am in agreement! I had much fun! Do you know Vox?

It sounds ESL, friend, fine for text. Not for natural speech

>>161791767
Pomf stepped outside

It felt good to be alone
He wished he was happy
He thought about somebody he had just unbanned
And how stupid it had seemed

He knew he should forget about it
He decided to cluck but he couldn't
(A chicken passed silently overhead)
The streetlight, and the buds on the trees, and the night were still

It finally came
He screamed a long cluck
It made him feel strong
And determined
To go back inside

The light
Their backs
Their conversation, the waifus, romancing, so natural

His admins stare
With eyes like the heads of nails

The others
Glances
With amusement, with evasion
With contempt so distant
With malice for being a stye
In their roleplay

Like floating weightless in the darkness
Like walking through an empty station
Speaking to an imaginary deadchat
Being watched from outside
By someone without a ckey
He could not rotate-chair to anything

Pomf left and drove
And clucked and laughed at himself
He felt he knew what that was

Pomf closed BYOND
And looked at the round before
He knew what he had to do
He was responsible
In the mirror, he saw his friend

>>161791836
That's a long way from it being "bad" English.

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>>161791865

http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=20&p=17154&sid=56d5dfbfbd951a03a5d623ab7c999ea4#p17154
>someone stole my cosmetic mask so I will straightjacket and fart on them for the rest of the round :)
>WTF I GOT KILLED FOR THAT YOU CANT DO THAT ITS LIKE PERMANENTLY REMOVING ME FROM THE ROUND MUH INSUFFICIENT ESCALATIONS
I wish the entire server was banned.
It's for the best at this point.

>>161791969
My bad, should've said "unnatural"

>>161791563
>Most CMOs don't even seem to know basic chem or surgery practices nowadays.
that's straight up a lie though, that would be mostly everyone except the CMO

>>161790584
>Start as paramedic because I wanna (re)learn this shit, haven't played in months
>Only one in Medbay according to manifest
>Ask HoP to give me some more access
>Promotes me to CMO
>Shirk my duties by stealing the Mime's ID that happened to have full access and throwing my ID at the first medical doctor that got on-board
>End up Acting Captain for like 5 minutes somehow before dying in next of the AI core because it's malf

I just feel like when things go wrong in this game, they go very wrong.

I never asked for this

>>161792209
>straight up lie
It's not. There's plenty of CMOs who either don't know how to do the job, or simply don't. CMO has become nothing more than a meme to get the ebin chloral hypospray for validhunting

>>161792058
>FURSECUTION

Fuck off faggot. You can't grief someone because you're a vox and you definately can't fight back when you started it.

>>161792338
I literally haven't seen a CMO chloral hypo anyone in weeks
We must be playing at very very different timezones

>>161792338
>CMO has become nothing more than a meme to get the ebin chloral hypospray for validhunting

There isn't a lot of other chems that are good in the Hypo because it only injects 5u a pop.
However, if you are actually a good CMO and not some validhunting shitter you will take the time to make Medical nanos and have your hypo filled with it.

>>161792350
I am none of the persons involved. Also, you are retarded.

>>161792512
>chloral
>good in the hypo
It's not. It's a one way trip to getting it disarmed off of you and getting pricked with 30u of chloral.

>>161792512
>imploding anyone has ever manufactured 5u nanobots in a round and they don't just hug cyberhorrors instead
>imploding this ia even feasible for a CMO to do
>giving FIVE UNITS A POP
Why do you feel the need to talk about shit you have no idea about?

>>161792808
>imploding anyone has ever manufactured 5u nanobots in a round and they don't just hug cyberhorrors instead
Nigga you scan it with an Ody and manufacturing it that way.

>imploding this ia even feasible for a CMO to do
Ask the bartender for D-delight
Ask the Robo for a robot head and an Ody
Ask the miners for one bar of uranium and gold

Wow... truly... that... was impossible

>giving FIVE UNITS A POP
5u is perfectly fine. Do you want to talk about how shit you are instead?

>>161773808
>>161778345
this video is clearly a joke

>>161793004
Oh yes, you, the CMO, get your pocket oddy and magically plug your hypospray into the syringe gun port. You genius!
>5u is perfectly fine
There is absolutely no fucking reason any patient would ever need more than 1.5u
>y-y-your shiiiit!
Wow anon, you sure convinced me you have any idea what you're talking about 8)

>>161790724
LESTER THE JESTER

>>161793180
Speedrunning itself is a long running joke, and it stops being funny unless you take it SUPER SERIOUSLY.

>>161793216
>>5u is perfectly fine
>There is absolutely no fucking reason any patient would ever need more than 1.5u
Why not just cut it with dexplus or antitox then

>>161793216
>Oh yes, you, the CMO, get your pocket oddy and magically plug your hypospray into the syringe gun port. You genius!

You really are retarded aren't you? Why do you talk about something that you seemingly never have done.
You scan the medical nanos with the ody and start creating the reagents.
Then you shoot syringes into the wall, pick them up, and inject into your hypo.

And yes, you will get an Ody every time you ask because it isn't like you are asking for a fucking phazon.

>There is absolutely no fucking reason any patient would ever need more than 1.5u

No, but you have unlimited amount of nanos and since 5u is how much the hypo injects and 5u is safe then you might as well.
If it triggers you so hard you can dilute it with whatever other chem you prefer, like water.

>Wow anon, you sure convinced me you have any idea what you're talking about 8)
Says the guy who doesn't know how to use an Ody to get unlimited nanos :^)

>>161793404
>you will get an Ody every time you ask
what server are you playing on? i want in

>>161793585
I mean, so far I have always gotten an Ody and even times when not asked.
If Kolton is playing RD you can be sure he will make you an Ody if you are actually going to use it for good stuff.

>>161793585
Not him but that's been my experience too.
Do it early before the robomens have plenty of orders.

>>161793702
>the robomens have plenty of orders.
what server are you playing on? i want in

>>161793785
>borging requests
>having to do the R&D for the miners because the scientists didn't
>Ripleys, military borgs, phazons, upgrades and modules for borgs
roboticists end up fairly busy after the materials delivery

>>161793785
I mean I played roboticist earlier tonight and built/delivered 5 mechs, upgraded the borgs, built some bots, and hung around snooping watching the borgs through the monitors.

The roboticist helps you as much as you ask, and he can. Generally.

If your order doesn't get filled its probably because you didn't make one or you made it late and the materials have dried up and you didn't supply any.

I just wanted to say that I love you guys
Even though you have the awareness of a retarded sloth.
Those wet floor signs exist for a reason.

I don't care if it was in the middle of a medbay hallway.

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>>161794104
I must slip. It is my way of acknowledging you.

Will I get banned for fucking with lights as a ghost?

>>161794817
Only if you do it with someone explicitly asking you to metagame a body or an antag.

Otherwise no, you will never get in trouble for that, even if you ARE trying to alert someone to a body or an antag.

>>161794817
Ni, if anything ghosts are expected to be fucking with the lights at all times. Feel free to blink the lights on the ling currently sucking someone and lead sec to them.

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>>161794817
>mfw show up at 13:00
>comms down
>you feel the air stand up on your neck.
>what was that?
>lights flashing
then you hear the airlock behind you open

Ghosts are part of the game

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>>161794817
>>161795246
>mfw chairs start spinning in xenobio, lights flashing
>mfw I hear clown shoes and the airlock cycling

hey guys im going to do something seriously fucked up on stream in about an hour
i static name here, id say im a pretty popular static namer
if you can guess my static name ill link the stream and you can watch me do something terrible that ill regret
no mass guessing names in a single post that doesnt count
i'm a female character

>>161796236
hyun ae

>>161796236
fritzl

free kingston