/ss13g/ - Spessmen on a Spess Station

first for FIX BUGS

>>155149458
Second for LEARN CODE

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3rd for shitty OC

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>>155149651
It's my favorite type

>Waifu disappeared

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzmZoEYW0e8

>>155149458
Hi remember to bump bug reports on the issues most important to you

>>155145890
>tfw I played HoS one round and Axel was more helpful to me than my own officers were
>offered Officer status but he declined it

>>155152972

>Things that never happened

Axel has been cool to me whenever I'm any role but sec
I think he just has personal problems that are reflected into his spess behavior

>>155148539
What did he mean by this?

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>banned in both /vg/ AND /tg/
>will never EVER suffer in these servers again
>will never need to git gud
feels good man

>>155154764
Go to goon

>>155154916
why?
movement speed is fucking horrible and you the map layout is fucking abysmal
also it's shit

>>155155046
It's what space station should be, the no RP server of course

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>ZAS meme still not fixed
Disable this shit if the air in a single tile is still enough to knock everyone in a room 8 tiles away and into a wall, seriously. It's so ridiculously broken that it gets to be hilarious.

>>155155502
That's pretty much the point

>changeling crawls away through a welded vent even while being pushed

>>155155647
gotta pull it.

And you shoulda cut the pipes in the ai upload foyer. Y'know, the room with no exits.

Or the AI upload; the room with laser turrets.

But you did your best, you really did. Fuck that guy.

>>155155747
It happened in sec. I welded the vent shut and he still climbed through it. I would of had it again but some retard went braindead in the HoS office and got in the way.

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What did he mean by this?

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>make maint less antag friendly
>help medbay with husks i find
>carry guns i found on the ground
>carrying two AI's with me to escape
>all of a sudden someone uses teleportation and bag of holding spaces me
fun round
>red text lings

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>>155155885
BAN HE

>>155155502
>baby complaining about hardcore ZAS
go back to hippie

Was my first proper round, going medical is kinda hectic

Only lost one patient though, so I think I did good?

>>155156003
>complain about tgshitters powergaming every round
>but complaining about a completely glitched feature is suddenly being a baby

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decided to play a little bit of colonial marines
It's pretty fun tbqfhwym

>>155155885
>coworker accidentally outs himself as ling
>smile and pretend nothing happened
>he doesn't give me the succ in return

all was well

>>155156167
how is it glitched, its literally working as intended

>>155156181
>>155154764
okay here anon, have a (you), you worked so hard for it

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>>155156313
anon you only gave me ONE (you)
gib more

>>155156313
>worked hard for it

Hes just some dumb frogposter, he deserves no (you)s

>>155156258
Then please explain to me how one tile worth of pressure is enough to push everyone in a room to the ground like someone just oppened a magical bag of air.

Or are you telling me a feature that grasps at no sense at all is intended just to create aritificial difficulty? busta pls go

>>155156532
Fuck off TG. We're not changing the server just so you don't have to git gud.

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Hey, how do you guys like this xeno?

>>155156646
t. Hardcore SS13 player

>>155156838
Certainly a lot more hardcore than you, TG babby.

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>Been playing ss13 for about a year and a half now
>90% vg, sometimes colonial memes
>decide to go back in time to where it all started
>to the shit stained halls of goon
>AAAAAAAA
>*fart
>kick a boxers ass in the ring
>people acting like chimps and fighting each other
>sec officer's taser going off nonstop
>cant even tell what the fuck that guys doing to the monkeyman in the shower
>clown horn it up as an entire wing gets blown to bits and the survivors start shanking each other
>one final honk before i succumb to the vaccum
>basketball flies over my head
Holy shit, it was like being new to ss13 all over again

>>155153407
You can check the logs if you want. Took out a ling for us.

Has anyone tested if you can make a ZAS gun by using a flamethrower with heated oxygen loaded in?

>>155157004
Do you know how flamethrower code works?

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>>155155938
What do you mean, bag of holding space?

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>>155156806

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>>155156806
>>155157185

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>>155157185
>child bearing hips

>>155156967
Valid hunting isn't for so much for the benefit of the crew as it is a way to pass the time and win the game
If you want to skew that 'he killed an atang FOR ME' then whatever nerd

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>>155157185
BOOTYGOLEMS WHEN

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>>155157185
Bretty gud.
Try making its lower legs thinner.

>>155155938
Yeah I'm sorry about that, didn't mean to knock you into it

>>155157185
>xeno alert?
>stand back everyone I am going in alone

>>155156181
its fun until you realize how much horseshit the marines have going for them, and that despite the xenos being ''''op'''' they lose around 70% of the time

theyll win frequently if they listen to their fucking queen but fat chance with that happening without ahelping every single time

>>155157624
I like it because even so all rounds are SUPPOSED to play the same,something different happens.
and playing since the start of round is very gud and fun,and I only play as USMC because I cannot play antag

>>155157167
If somebody tries to teleport you and you have a bag of holding, the teleport drops you off semi-randomly in a burst of fire. They don't mix, teleports and bags.

>>155157806
the xenos are the good guys tho

dindu nuffin

>>155157819
It's because bags of holding are pockets of bluespace, and teleporters use bluespace to transfer you, and bluespace cant hold bluespace.

t. headcanon

>>155158056
>be wounded
>about to get into the ship
>one xeno comes in
>he hides into the locked door
>he jumps off
heh

where do i find the list of musics from the jukebox?

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>>155157185
thicc xenos?

Is it metagaming to disable cams?

>>155158480
there is a full xeno porn book on the library

>>155158269
http://ss13.moe/media/source/

> fellow ling steals my identity

wore than hitler

>>155158517
literally no reason to unless the AI is known to be malf or subverted
if you cut it while it's not security will be up your ass

>>155158563
thanks anon

>>155158517
>>155158610
Only if you don't have anything to hide. Cutting cams 'in case the AI is rogue' is metagay as fuck. Cutting cameras because you want to build a secret comms console / AI upload is fine.

Good AI.

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How often do you get away with no antag murder? I would say I average a little under two per round

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>>155159064
You can't
got banned for it 16 times
unless the guy you murdered is a total retard

>>155159064
Pretty much never.
I never really get in fights or anything, and i'm not sure traitors or wizards or what have you count as murder victims.

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slimes are cute.

>>155157004
calm down sishio, none of us have any hot tips today.

>>155157004
Flamethrowers got changed, are now basically just projectiles rather than room superheaters.

>>155138504
>You can only save 1 person out of the 3 people on the ground and they're all the same rank.
Help the nearest or most useful one.

>>155139860
Silicons will feign getting mad at you, that's human harm.

>>155159509
you know what else is cute?
phazons

If there's a human harming another human and the only way to stop the harmer is harming him, how should an asimov borg act?

>and the only way to stop the harmer is harming him
Describe one situation where this could happen.

>>155160827
>the only way to stop the harmer is harming him
Don't be retarded. There's always other options. Even if you can't stop him entirely you can undoubtedly hinder his efforts to the best of your ability.

>>155160827
Attempt to pull the person away

>>155160925
Mutate 2 and blink.

>>155159509
t. lisa or ricky

>>155160827
Drag attacker or victim away or act as a shield if attacker is using a gun

If you forcibly inject traders with loyalty implants does that mean they gotta support the station then

>>155161894
Fuck off back to bay

>play one new server
>"END ROUND KILLING IS NOT ALLOWED"

>>155161894
Loyalty implants do three things: Deconvert revs and protect against the same; Protect against culting without deconverting; and put a green dot above roundstart sec-and-similar and people who were loyalty implanted.

>>155162152
maybe because they have logs that don't end at round end, if it isn't for that reason then they are a shit server.

>>155162213
they make you loyal to NT

Loyalty implants should be more heavily RP enforced

>>155162152
only shit servers allow end round grief

>>155162417
Sure, but that's flavortext for RP.

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gud cap
a shame I was locked for literally all of that

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>deconvert a scientist who was making all heads non-human
>he gets up, disarms me and runs for the module

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>That captain

RIP Anon Revguy AKA Not the captain

>>155162459
I agree but trying to change how anything works gets you burned at the stake so nobody does anything to existing features and mechanics.

>>155162496
Yea, it means you have to act with restraint like a sec officer

>>155162581
Not here.

>>155162581

>act with restraint
>like a sec officer

What?

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What did they mean by this?

>>155162712
oh lordy

>>155162152
Not every server has the logging set up /vg/station does. Infact I'm not sure if any server does.

I know for a fact that Bay/Polaris logs are kept and accessed differently and thus 'false positives' don't help with the ahelp process. It's one of the reasons why admins using those codebase derivatives will take longer to sort by logs and more often than not ask you got a copy of your local logs to speed things along too.

Or we can just have some emtpy pride that we have a minute of being shitters at the end of three hour rounds and shit on other servers because who cares really, our community's a joke already

>>155162712
>doesn't know what pizza staton was

/vg/pride! /vg/pride!

That was an amazing round and i felt like in an action movie
>mime spams disarms for some reason
>brigged
>people suspected revs so i implant him
>deconverted
>:h ITS REVS
>Warden juggles with implants and officers do stuff, whatever, i go to arrivals
>tasecuff someone for breaking into engi
>mechanic chlorals me
>detective was just passing by and gets him
>minutes later woke up in medbay
>SEC BEEPS: DEAD SEC OFFICER
>SEC BEEPS: DEAD WARDEN
>fuck
>go to arrivals and find the hop killer
>he didn't even had a gun
>behead him because im solo and no implants
>go back to brig to get weapons since i have all acess now
>armory completely fucking looted
>ZAS
>ZAS
>engineer from space shoots me, i shoot back
>on red, not gonna make it
>i make it
>take hos shit
>see that beautiful lawgiver
>get out, det and implanted mime are in the lobby
>"I had to retreat"
>i remember him dying but the chance of getting converted seemed a bit low
>try to implant him
>he tases me
>mimes helps me up
>VIRUS MAKES ME BLIND
>it was a nice game, whatever, gonna die in a glorious way
>manage to harmbatton the detective with no vission
>4 people break into the brig, all revs
>blindly shoot at them and get two stuns
>some assistant with an e-gun corners me and starts laseringme
>RAPID
>leave a million holes on him
>escape
>go to medbay
>See antibodies, take them
>Vox doctor pulls me
>try to implant him
>some guy tases me
>hurtbyjohnnycash.mp3

Firefights and shit were tense as hell

>>155163419
>RAPID
I fucking love the lawgiver so much.

BEES ATTACK
NO NOT ME

Sorry vox trader for shooting you like 5 times
Shoot first ask questions later

>>155165860
i hope someone got bwoinked for all that law 2 kill vox before the raiders

Emily Smollett is cute

>Marcus insisting on not doing ANYTHING to the vox raiders
>Even when we told him he stole the PA's
You had the fucking cap ID and you were telling borgs not to do shit to the raiders? What the fuck?

>>155165930
Law 2 kill vox happened when raiders were confirmed stealing the PA
the AI was swiftly put on NT default so I took the gassing into my own hands

fun round

too bad I didn't retract the posibrain thing so I could have seen the end of the station fight

SORRY CRUZ I MISCLICKED

is it possible to smack someone with the bible enough to make them braindead?

>>155166030
Yes

>>155166030
bibles dont even do more than 5% of braindamage

>>155165860
I accidentally pickaxed him three times AFTER being the one to take him there. I felt awful for it.
>>155165930
I made sure to point out non-crew vox when raiders was yelled out about. Always tried to keep that as the last line, I didn't realise that there even was a trader until I met him later, it's hard to find out that unless they are very vocal. He was alright in the end though so it was fine.

IT'S HIP TO FUCK BEES

>>155165962
Need a comic of this.

I want people to like me

>>155166013
>decide to go to the vox oupost with the borg
>have the translator to see if we can negotiate
>I have no weapons except my hands
>oh the vox ship is here
>walk in to the whole raider team
>borg goes ham
>i get the dart gun and fire away, not sure if it works on alien armor
>grab the emag
>borg is ioned and emped
>drag away to get a new cell and emag it for lasers
>get accidently stunned by the borg
>shot by darts
>die, witness the vox massacre from the grave

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>>155166282
I want people to live, but its impossible.

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You've come to the wrong place.

>>155166374
file upload took ages
meant for >>155166282

I HATE how people look for reasons to murder. If you're a Borg why would you look for the slightest interpretation to be a jerk? The best people are just the ones that have fun and have fun for everyone with them.

>>155157624
literally just the sadar and maybe quickmeme rifles, everything else is hot dookie
xenos only lose if you've got a cuck "d-don't hurt them" queen or if a salty marine decides to waste an hour depleting the larva pool

>>155166553
What are you talking about exactly?

>>155166553
Finding loopholes to fuck people over is like, half the fun of being a borg.

>>155166553
>it's an icanthinkofanamerightnow bitching and moaning episode

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>>155166030
> ops time
> 3 of them are silent
> one of the three isnt moving a lot
> one stole almost every tool and doesnt know how to build a computer so we take some time to set the teleporter
> shit aside, we move to the station
> we bomb some bride and atmosia
> "ok guys, lets go south east to the solars"
> non-silent op goes ahead, i follow him but no sign of the other 3
> a call from help from 2 silent ops
> go check the ship, they dragged the nuke inside the teleporter room and couldnt get out
> HELP WE'RE STUCK WITH THE NUKE

>op got caught and went fucking braindead instead of deathgasping
1 month waiting period on nuke ops when

>shitlers like that guy who closed the window after getting tased are allowed to get ops
>retards that get caught in rooms and dont communicate like in >>155168542
are allowed to be ops
>I NEVER GET OPS
I'm convinced the syndicate uses ops to thin the numbers in their special needs clinics

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>Be Captain
>NEW COPS
>Trapped in tool storage
>See guys in hard suits running my way
>Instantly throw my backpack with the disc at them and scream I SURRENDER
>They were actually security

>nuke ops goes down
>time to axe him a question
>sec officer says behead him
>think this is some way to avoid explosion I haven't heard before
>he explodes

>>155168837
DELETE THIS!!!!

>>155168890
I want Jeb to be my dad.

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>>155168890

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>>155168890
i was chasing after you and the only thing i saw was death

>>155168929
i told you not to, and you did it you madman

>>155149863
Cake should be the official /ss13g/ band.

>tfw your waifu is cult and you're sec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ipq60G2y3lY

>>155170979
wait. I just remember that Leslie Fish exists.

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Behold the majestic clarp.

>>155171546
ew

>>155171546
Sure, why not
Now code them so they spawn randomly during carp storms and give them the chance to slip on attack like clown goblins do

>>155171153
I was about to say something.
Good taste.

>>155170979
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cno20onK9dY

GOOD RIDDANCE CELT YOU COCKSUCKER

Mimes being able to breathe in a vacuum when

>>155170979
Cargo cults be like https://youtu.be/SQQ-Kps9KaQ

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>>155172284
>>155170979
terrible

>>155172546
>filthy frank
>facebook filename

You are the one who is terrible

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>tfw you secretly read logs to see what the people you like ingame did that day

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>>155172340
I want mimes to be able to do ANYTHING if they take the time to mime out the actions

>/me mime puts the invisible nuke disk inside the nuke and begins decoding the encryption.

>>155172546
commit suicide

>>155170979
>>155172284
Naw man,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7hzGtmPb6M
Perfect ss13 song.

>>155158553
Talking about my picture one/?

>>155172890
pretty gay tbqh fampai

>>155172890
c >>154933352

>tfw everyone you could tolerate has left the game
really boggles the mind

>>155174156
>dozens of good players
>still gets oldfag snowflake syndrome

Just quit the server if you got this annoying.

>>155172602
>>155173243
Im sorry your taste in music is objectively bad

>and yet there barely any examples of these supposed abuses of power
>people never even post these supposed examples in the first place
>I don't have control people's actions though
>Well how it was 'before' the initial pr is off the table

All of my kek

The one thing I will never understand is how you people still think you're superior to /tg/

Wasn't your whole thing that /tg/ was full of powergayman and autists? And now you've literally moved to "light rp" (fucking lmao), have people unironically defending ock ick in the thread, and the only people who bother to arr pee are waifus (autists) and people trying to get their fug on (also autists)

Just give it up /vg/, you are the abortions

>>155175165
Just take a look at your servers rules and fire your neurons

>>155175329
>implying anyone on either server even looks at the rules, much less follows them

fucking
l o l

>>155154564
No, but serious.

I generally understand what he meant, but what were the exact implications?

>get emagged with another borg
>other emagged borg chops master to pieces with sword
ALL MY MEMES

>join goon as det
>can't find office
>can't find sec
>try circling the right wall to eventually run into sec
>get lost
>find cat drugs
>take all the cat drugs
>run into the owlery
>assaulted by cats, meowing frantically, surrounded by owls
>murder every owl
>commit suicide by slamming head into chair

well

>sec wasnt swole enough to lift the emagged borgs

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>atleast 4 borgs randomly start to beat my face in
>nothing can do to stop it
>no one cares because non-human

Glad Rhasta and Aebris survived, couldn't bring myself to murderbone them.

>>155177056
Goon makes zero sense
That's why it's great

I just wanted swole sec to take my workout suppliments and get really swole, but when I got them ready everything went to shit very fast.

>>155177010
You remember not to ahelp it right?
>inb4 secret police

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I hope someone got some screencaps of the swole sec

>>155177225
I didnt ahelp friend

>>155177081
Xenobio is shit and making combat mechs gives you a huge target sign.

>>155177010
It was a big discussion in sillycon chat, we were afraid you'd finish the phazon and become a threat to the AI.

>>155177323
Meant for
>>155177081

>>155177294
>other borg was an admin
>that was a test
>thas a bannu

>>155177323
o-oh i feel flattered!

>>155177010
Ahelped, nothing. Ended up dead due to that even later on, no idea if it was legit or nothing due to no response from admins.

>>155177602
I tried to save you and lasered the other borg until it stopped

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>>155177287
Only this. Didn't get one where everyone was lifting at once, unfortunately.
Lookit that pAI go, though!

>>155177697
With the SWOLEcurity and cargo going full communist state, there was some fun stuff that round, none of you caught wind of the robot uprising til it was too late though.

>>155177602
He got a day jobban didn't he?

>the real dream team gets assembled
>we all get to distracted gettin MAD GAINZ to worry about making arrests

For future reference, dream team candidates are as follows
>Slate Slabrock
>Iriquois Pliskin
>Nick Weller
>Me
>the other two sec officers that never took off their helmets so I couldn't put a name to a face

>>155177978
>>Iriquois Pliskin
>>Nick Weller

lol

>>155178018
You heard me
They are bros to operate and validhunt with
Stay mad cuffed dindu

>>155177697
How do I get swole? Is this achievable natty?

I hate how fat positive our game is.

A gene that controls whether you are fat or not? What the fuck is this shit, it's just calories in calories out. I hate how we've come to the point where even my autistic spacemen game is fucking onboard with this fat positive bullshit.

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https://youtu.be/UyuSg9WaUAs

[21:00:02]ADMIN: HELP: Anything86/(Emily Smollett): I emagged Cool.IOs and he slices me three times with an energy sword. - heard by 1 non-AFK admins.
[21:00:07]ADMIN: JustSumGuy/(Sood Sanzers) jumped to Anything86/(Emily Smollett)
[21:00:36]ADMIN: PM: JustSumGuy/(Sood Sanzers)->Anything86/(Emily Smollett): I'll look into it.
[21:00:55]ADMIN: PM: JustSumGuy/(Sood Sanzers)->Mercafe/(Cool.IOs): Hey, what happened there with you and emily?
[21:01:16]ADMIN: PM: Mercafe/(Cool.IOs)->JustSumGuy/(Sood Sanzers): i fucked up and though she wasnt emily
[21:01:42]ADMIN: PM: JustSumGuy/(Sood Sanzers)->Anything86/(Emily Smollett): Was your identity obstructed on examine? Like you showed up as unknown or something?
[21:02:03]ADMIN: PM: Anything86/(Emily Smollett)->JustSumGuy/(Sood Sanzers): No, I was wearing my ID and said multiple times "ITS ME". He could see I was Emily.
[21:02:20]ADMIN: PM: JustSumGuy/(Sood Sanzers)->Mercafe/(Cool.IOs): Why did you think they weren't emily?
[21:03:26]ADMIN: PM: Mercafe/(Coolio Jr)->JustSumGuy/(Sood Sanzers): because i saw something attacking the other borg, it turned out to be the medbay guy with telek and not the atmos tech next to the borg

>>155177959
https://youtu.be/rjA5A86V6SY

>>155177697
Whatsis about gains?

>>155178543
I consistently make fun of obese Spessmen
The last one I remember was a fat grey that I sprinkled orange juice on as I farted on him so he smelled like pure shame

>>155177978
DELETE THIS

Slate Slabrock is one of the worst security players to ever grace this server.

also he never ever gets mentioned except by me, so you must be Slate self shilling yourself
FUCK OFF SLATE AND EVER COME BACK

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>>155178639
Slate's pretty cool. Stay here Slate!

>>155178639
I'm dirk Schultz though, so kiss my vox blood covered ass
Me and him had some good rounds when I was just a fledgling sec officer, shotgunning down changelings and Wizards, once some ops
Not to mention just good old tator busting
A good sec team is a sec steam that makes everyone else pissed. Because everyone else who isn't actively helping sec is antag or greytide and it's our duty to stomp both

>>155178543
We have mints. They're only wafer thin.

>>155178543
>What the fuck is this shit, it's just calories in calories out.
Calories out is like 95% basal metabolic rate.
And that's partially genetic. ...it's mostly muscle mass, but that's also partially genetic.

And it's not "just" calories in.
Energy source (read: diet) and your gut microbiome (read: diet and lifestyle choices) largely effect what your body does with those calories.

>>155178860
t. Fatass

>>155179003
Explain.

>>155178957
Spotted the fatty tumblrina

>>155178957
Doesn't matter how shit your genetics are, if you eat less than you burn you will lose weight. Calories in, calories out. How the in/out is calculated doesn't matter, it's still in/out.

>>155178957
fat confirmed

>>155178957
consume less calories in one day than you burn in one day = weight loss
literally the only person responsible for anyone being a fat shit is themself. yeah, fat generally goes before carbs generally ges before protein, but you can't magically generate energy. less in than out = weight loss

>tfw you're finally free of the shitposting
Glorious... I hope you all enjoy escape some day, this place ruins people.

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>>155179737 >>155179789 >>155179813
... it's literally saying "everything that makes you fat is avoidable" and "cardio is garbage, but weight lifting does wonders"
What part of that is in support of land whales?

>>155178957
Go hit the treadmill fat fuck

>>155178818
oh shit it's the detective who completely ignored calls to do his job and then decided to patrol because that's what detectives are for

>>155179879
I'd tell you to neck yourself but I doubt you could fit your seven chins into the noose

>>155179980
>see vox stealing the PA with my own eyes and no sec or ai/Borgs give a single fuck
>thinking I'm going to give a shit about your local greytiders when there are vox to gas
>detective isn't allowed to actively help with any sort of threat to the station especially not when all of security was a bunch of vox sympatheizers jerkin off in ai upload/captain office
I bet you want to ban nonsec validhunting too

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>>155177081
Its ok!

>Start as science
>Make a mini-medpack to help others
>Early signs there's danger in the area when people are actually doing their job instead of punching the living shit out of each other.
>Go to hop for demotion and brace for shit.
>Hope to be greytide but end up clown instead.
>Don't know how to living man robust and the only "pranks" I have are dark or borderline bannable.
>Go 5 minutes and people are already attacking me for nothing.
>Drag person after person to medbay
>I die from traitor
>People walk past my body like nothing
>Ask the admin how to clown
>Get revived
>Admin replies with a clown has no real duty but to honk and prank
>Everyone is dying
>All of sec is dead and most are gibbed
>armory is broken into
>Walk to library where more people are dying
>Thoughts of pranking took a back seat to me dragging this random person into a cryo tube before everything was plasma'd to death.

I didn't even honk

>>155180189
no I want you to listen to your other sec officers when they ask you to do something only you have the access to do, don't try to act like the patrolling was anything more than memeing and showing off your anchor arms you twat.

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>>155180103

>>155180296
All of sec did not give a shit about the Borgs or anything else besides blob because we were getting gainz. If you didn't know it was a meme sec round when HoS when in a vaccum shirtless to punch the blob then you're mentally impaired
Also what the fuck should a detective do if patrolling is a nono? Jerk off in his office?
I was also braindead after the blob clearings, which is probably when everyone realized the Borgs were rogue even though there were whispers of it before the blebs hit

>>155179813
>fat generally goes before carbs generally ges before protein,
Dietary carbs go before dietary fat go before dietary go before dietary protein go before body fat go before body muscle.

>>155179896
Again, cardio does jack fucking shit. It takes something like 80 miles of running to burn 1 pound of fat.

Your basal metabolic rate is the amount of energy you use in a day to continue to not be dead.
As a technically-not-false-advertising thing, the "energy spent" gauge on treadmills (etc.) includes all the energy spent towards your basal metabolic rate.
Which ends up being nearly all of what the gauge tells you.

>>155180715
>do cardio
>sweat
>push-ups
>sit-ups
>pull ups
>don't be fat
Quit making excuses

>>155180809
6'2" and 170 lbs.

>>155178589
Why are pAI bans handed out with silicon bans?
Don't they not even have laws?

>>155180994
pAIs start with 'serve your master' as well as whatever secondary bits are added on or primary alterations an ion effects.

>>155181130
>ion storms
Haven't seen those in a while

>>155181608
Er, not ion, EMPs. Those can scramble pAI directives or wipe the pAI outright if it didn't take redundant threading.

>>155177978
But this security team is literal trash complete with self shilling.

What kind of man self shills a bad team?

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>>155125108

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>rail got a picture with the vampire
>rail survived on the shuttle
FUCK

>that HoS saying "HOL UP" to save me

Dream thrall team.

>know absolutely nothing about the TEG
>while the other engineer heats up the burn room, pipe the nitrogen gas miner to the TEG cold loop around spaceside
I feel like there's a far more efficient way to get more gas in there but we got 1mw so it worked

>three (3) thralls

Fuck me. I was so mad when I couldn't get that bitch to the chapel. All those firelocks in my way, I didn't have ammo to bust the windows down, then the other thrall got to me.

Thank you Borgle. You were the light in my dark life.

I'm sorry I went braindead then sat in the room for a bit. My hotel wifi cycles every night at 12:00, then my client refused to update for some reason once I did come back.

>>155183289
The easy way is to filter Nitrogen from the distro loop. I have no idea how many filters you need to make it not take forever though.

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>decide to late join as forensic tech because eh hell might be some blood to scan an hour in
>get immediately blinded and cuffed by vamp, get enthralled
>tasked with killing braindead mime
>finish task, game disconnects
>comeback to find xenoarch Lisa Tovir stripping me and saying they saw everything with their xray vision in very poor english/spelling
>She takes me to dorms where my vamp is converting the HoS, murder and conversion ensues
>accidentally kill one or two fellow thralls due to thinking she was just healed by medbay
>some how tank out volleys of bullets and laser fire
from the HoS who kept mistaking me for brave nonthralls.

well that was 40 minutes of crazy

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>Just want to jam on the keyboards all round long so I give up my status as vampire and tell the antags to give it to someone else
>Get murderboned by a vampire succubus and her security sex slaves

I don't know what I expected.

>>155183667
Should've kept antag and had your thralls do all the work.

>>155183598
I was gonna turn you into Brig but saw them possibly doing lewd things in dorms then saw a bite
I didn't know it shows up as a regular bite and not "x latches onto their neck" so I didn't shoot them up
After going through cryo and dying to you I was cloned from a genetic back up and took a few guns since I was still thralled

>>155155992
>not toolboxing him on a instant and then attack the chaplain because he doesnt want to open for you even if you yell "HE USED LINGSPEAK ITS VALID OPEN OR I KILL YOU"

>>155156806
>>155157185
11/10 final boss

>>155158517
It is the number one way to ensure that sec and the silicons will do everything in their power to make your life a living hell. We know where that static came from and we're not happy about it

Building large amounts of buttbots making you valid when?

Almost nothing is more annoying then having chat spammed by half a dozen butt messages when anyone says anything.

>>155186191
it already does

>>155163419
Daily reminder to order medkits so you can plug your leaky butthole.

>>155166030
No but you can cause enough braindamage that they can't do dick which results in them killing and gibbing you.

>>155166553
>Could stop all the murderers if only people would purge me
>They never do
>Crew constantly getting stomped while I just have to cope with a flash that doesn't work and bumping.
Gee, I wonder.

>>155186191
butt go to butt and butt the butt

it's not butt

>>155186191
It'd be neat if there was a way to track radio message source coordinates using Telecomms.

>>155186339
Even better is
>someone orders you to go sec module
>any time you try to stop harm you end up with everyone screaming like retards at you to let them go
>no one changes the laws during wizard or ops or any kind of human antag so you can't help stop them

>>155186191
butt large butt of buttbots bbutt butt valid when?

>>155168682
Just shitpost at him in ooc every single round every time he's on. Gouge manners into his shitter soul.

>>155186529
>Off asimov
>No power let alone instacrit so you can't shock the wingdings before they get glubbs
>They're always jaunting after their doorcrush virginity is taken.
It's just sad. Always so, so sad. If we didn't need a doorknob so bad I wouldn't play AI at all but you guys need a friend so I put myself through it over and over even though I'm terrible at it and have like 5 pages of notes from my mistakes.

Favourite medbay that still plays?
Whole department.

>>155187319
The one with that's still alive and doesn't have dicks stuffed in its ears so thickly it actually listens to help this guy.

>tfw killing the person you've subtly been metagrudging

No better feeling

>>155187405
>tfw you poz Axel's neghole
No better feeling. One Zenny Hunt is more than enough.

>>155187319
List of current good medbay players:

>>155187482
when was medbay good

>>155187482
Random Janitors or Clowns that break in to make meds and save people.

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>join as observer
>decide to haunt random person
>spook him so much he starts yelling at chairs
>suddenly every alahu akbars
>bomber tries to get on the shuttle at the end
>manages to shoot out a window and climb in at the last second before launch
>someone opens a door and the airflow blows him out the window and into space

>>155187482
Me!

>>155187482
Good medbay players:
That's all of them.

>>155189446
>>155187482

You don't know any because when we do things right, people are never sure we've done anything at all.

>>155187482
List of all-time good medbay players:

>>155189532
This. I don't get a medal when I do a great job, but if I trigger some autismo who starts metagrudging....

its a "I just silently looted the captains office to secure the items and you are in the wrong for questioning me" episode.

You deserved all the bullying.

Philip Jenner says, "Space me", Philip Jenner says, "Do it pussy", Philip Jenner says, "HE AINT GOT THE CAJONES", Philip Jenner [Common] (Assistant) says, "WALTER KIFER SPACING ME", HELP: Gorgonmaia/(Philip Jenner) (?) (PP) (VV) (SM) (JMP) (CA) : Aww shit negroes, that officer just spaced me, was that valid? - This, and a page of notes is why you're getting a permaban. Appeal it on the forums.

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LEWD!

Nerf cargo.
They don't need all of that money at round start.

>want to have some christian fun in this space station 13 server
>some slut starts moaning in the shuttle

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>>155193397
>want to have some christian fun over at your place
>your mom keeps fugging me peen
>fug

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>no assistant slots

>>155194727
Just take librarian or IAA or something.

>>155194727
>No sec
>No eng
>Only med is a geneticist or viro that gives 0 fucks
>No heads but the spare is gone in 20 seconds by a guy who acts like a captain until it's time to do real captain shit
>4 assistants
Fuck off to tg

>>155194821
gee sorry dood that i don't want responsibilities

tg is too obnoxious for me

>>155194930
Know what else is really fucking obnoxious. A big heap of dindu's and essential services not being done.

>>155194981
I understand how you feel, but there might be people who actually can't do those things and are not even willing to learn and don't want to be stressed with "do your job!" and shit.
This assistant limitation program is quite new to me tho, last when i was on it wasn't a thing.

>>155195195
It's been on for over year because it's fucking unbearable otherwise. You fucking kids are killing the server. A bunch of goddamn chavs wallowing in their shit and fucking with actually productive crew until it's africa and then they bitch that the services they refused to do and harassed don't function then when it inconveniences them.

When I make synthflesh, of how much should I make the patches?

Why can't I climb on tables?

>>155195273
It isn't a real job though. Besides, people always bitch at me when I do an essential job without knowing how

>>155195431
No shit, cause while heavily flawed, it's not hard to read a job guide on the wiki then go play it. Asking for help and constantly reviewing until you lock it down. Ignore the autismos

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>>155195273
S-sorry for not wanting to be part of the stations productivity and i rather want to have some fun boss.

>>155195530
Suck it the goddamn fuck up kiddo. There's a lot that needs to get done to have a smooth shift and if everyone chips in instead of being a deadbeat piece of shit it's better for everyone. Somebody has to give a goddamn fuck.

>>155195574
Fuck off autist it's a game, if I don't benefit from doing shit on the station I ain't doing it

>>155195626
Neck yourself you filthy degenerate scum.

>>155195626
>no ones does their jobs
>power goes out
>no one gets cloned or medicine
>everyone whines about people not doing their jobs so they can have fun

kys

>>155195787
i bet you like esports too, you

>>155195787
>no power
If you want power so badly go set it up yourself, break into Engineering and set up the Singularity it's simple as fuck.
>no one gets cloned or medicine
If you need chems just make them yourself, cryo heals most damage anyway

>>155195926
are you with brain issues

this is about assistants who dont actually want to do anything, just shitpost ingame all round

why would they do someone elses job?

>>155195989
no you stupid faggot, you're the one complaining they don't contribute, if you keep whining like a bitch about MUH CONTRIBUUT MUH JABS on a videogame go do it yourself you lazy fuck

you want power and there is no power? go set it up yourself

>>155196074
id rather go braindead and let you autists suffer

I want to rail the rail

>he doesn't run speedclonebay
Why waste your time defibbing and doing surgery?

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>>155196628
space birds

>>155197240
any more pics like this?

>>155197240
Rail is shit at combat

>Nanotransen hires one engineer
>it's a bird
>plasmaflood happens
WELL GEE

>>155198186
I suspect NT is kinda like Vault-Tec in regards to Science through retarded experiments in confined spaces.

>>155197240
Rail is unrobust as fuck

>>155198186
Vox sympatheizers should be considered non-human
Vox are worse than greyshits
Collect valids on them whenever possible, arrest them whenever possible, instruct borgfaggots to bully them whenever possible
That's right Borg niggers just cause my orders are against the rules doesn't mean you can ignore them, chances are I'm antag

>>155198327
considering the amount of fuckery I would imagine that the station is a social experiment much like all vaults

Why don't people ever renovate the ghetto bars on maps other than box?
Is it because it's more difficult to provide access to it from a high-traffic area?

>>155198476
Pretty much.

>>155198476
It's because retards will call the shuttle before anyone bothers to show up unless you do it lowpop, in which case no one gives a shit because they're too busy getting murderboned

>>155149606
>The President is making bad Politics and should change his course
>Become the President!

>>155197552
>>155198365
>never seen rail as antag
>not robust
hmmmm

>>155198856
>coding spessmans is equivalent to becoming potus

dude
nice

>>155198856
I mean that would probably be the suggested course of action if becoming president took a week or two at most.

>>155198365
Who is the most robust waifu[/spoiler?

>>155199127
Well it does. All you have to do is slaughter the existing chain of command.

>>155199529
For that to work though, you'd have to already hold some form of high-level political office, so that POTUS would fall to you when your superiors died.

>>155199656
Past like 12 or so I don't think it matters if you're john Q. public. If you say you're the boss now you're the boss.

>>155198875
>literally only uses shitter juice for "stealth kills"
>only people who see it are her semen dispensers so her secret is safe with them m'birdy ;)
>robust
KEK

>>155199257
i'd spoil your waifu

you can rule 0 any 3 ckeys with no reprimands. Who are they?

>>155200156
pomf123 three times

>>155200226
Delet this

Does the singularity not eat heads now? After I passed through it and died, my head was still being dragged behind it.

>>155200156
Ghlor
MrPain
Dragonbro

>>155200156
MrPain
Killette
Angelite

>>155200983
Angelite doesn't even play anymore.

>>155200156
You
Me
(You)

The green haired devil that stole my heart

>>155200704
The sing gibs you. Gibbing leaves your head intact. It's possible the sing lagged out and didn't eat your head as soon as you got gibbed. And then your head was never eaten because it kept slowly being dragged around.

>>155201648
the (you) haired (you) that stole my (you)

>>155201648
plays on another account now
want to know which?

long gone are the days where code is actually elevated, sec officers report to rallies for weapons and criminals are arrested and brigged in proper fashion
we live in the valid age
Antag? Prepare to get the boots, heavy style

>>155201780
yes

>>155198432

>That's right Borg niggers just cause my orders are against the rules doesn't mean you can ignore them, chances are I'm antag

But I thought the rule was "don't go out of your way to bully non humans unless you are specifically told to do so"

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>>155202231

>>155202368
If I tell you to kill that trader vox who just assaulted someone on our station, fucking do it if you're asimov
if there are raider vox, FUCKING KILL THE VOX WHEN I ORDER IT
DONT SAY "Killing non-crew vox" then just beep in the fucking bar for twelve years like that round yesterday holy shit i was pissed

>>155202231
>code is never elevated
>code red is almost always pushed if possible
Nukeops is an exception because its already over if you don't act fast.

>>155202572
Code green to code red looks shabby without a blue
Blue lets sec carry weapons and deal with problems before they get red-tier

>>155202231
You just need to git gud t. Sucessful antag

Literally never got into trouble for killing non-humans when ordered to do so.
In fact, someone got banned once for ordering me to kill a grey as a non-antag. His "Just a prank" defense didn't work.

>>155202473
"If I tell you to kill that vox, fucking do it" was sufficient. Not following your laws can yield a ban, even if the orders seem against the rules.

>>155202628
I dislike dealing with each antag encounter boiling down to KOS because they went loud with shit
The best antags are the ones you KNOW are guilty but the detective killed himself and theres no hard evidence/no one is testifying him
So that theres a chase again and again, and all you can do is brig him for minor shit till he gets caught enough to get into perma

>>155202654
borgs are usually furfags, and will ignore all orders to kill nonhumans

>>155202789
>borgs are usually furfags, and will ignore all orders to kill nonhumans

I'm a very frequent borg player and will gladly purge everything if given the chance.

>>155202473
That round was a blast as a borg.
>borg kill all the birds
>now take a peak at the cloner

>>155202934

still looking forward to going sillycone on purge day

I usually play on Polaris but want to try out /vg/

How much can I roleplay here, would people be fine with these things
>Emoting a lot
>Speaking in an accent
>Using common phrases in foreign languages like hola for hello
>Walking in hallways
>Being in a romantic relationship with another character

>>155203773
Prepare to get shit on kiddo

>>155203773
Everything but the last one, and the second last one will get you killed

>>155203773
>Being in a romantic relationship with another character
We don't need more Waifuposters at the moment.
Reapply once we have some spare posts
Never

>>155203773
You won't get banned, but you'll get shitposted a lot about in thread.

>>155203773
None of that will get you banned. As far as public reception:

>Emoting a lot
People will probably make fun of you in the thread/OOC if you do it excessively.
>Speaking in an accent
No one cares.
>Using common phrases in foreign languages like hola for hello
No one cares.
>Walking in hallways
No one cares.
>Being in a romantic relationship with another character
Some people will mess with you for it. A LOT of people will mess with you for it if your relationship causes problems.