/ss13g/

First for honk

STATION
IS
PLASMA

>join about an hour late
>no really decent jobs left
>decide to pick Assistant just to fuck around
>end up getting to have a pizza party in the AI Core
>AI mentions that we just need music
>leave to snag the Jukebox
>come back and there's Plasma outside the core
>narrowly escape into the one firelocked tile in front of the medbay emergency entrance
>go to get an Atmos Hardsuit to save the AI
>the area in front of EVA is suddenly flooded
>run to Sec to escape the flood
>apparently there's zombies attacking
>grab a knife and immediately start butchering
>get an energy sword and shield as a reward
>bodies everywhere the entire time
>fires start sparking in the hallways
>atmos is completely fucked
>barely able to squeeze through the back rooms before plasma floods the entrances to the Escape Bay
>cruise back to centcomm
>check to see if the AI made it out on a card
>him and a gray are still left in the core with the turrets on, anomalies everywhere, and a rod shoots right by

Poor guys. Went from comfy to hellscape in 10 minutes.

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>Get clown
>Secure that ID, grab disc and pinpointer and hand to sec so they dont fuck my shit.
>Adventure with captain and burn 3 lings.
>Honk around
>everyone is starving
>go to kitchen and find mindbreaker toxin in the beaker
>Chef a shit!
>fax centcomm saying we need an emergency snack crate
>Order AI to dump the station savings on pizza party.
>Dick around and eat banana chips while achieving maximum comfy.
>suddenly plasma. PLASMA EVERYWHERE
>try to rescue AI
>end up pissing it off cuz i clowned and set upload on fire.
> Ai stunlocks me with turretts
> Use hand tele and vanish
> "CLOWN MOTHERFUCKER!"
> Escape most battered employee.

Honk.

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>1. Maintain the station.
>2. Reduce expenses.
>3. Obey the Captain.
>4. Maximize revenue.

>>154972826
c >>154966137

What is the purist_ thing to happen on your shifts?
What is the lewdest thing to happen on your shifts?

That green haired devil, he stole my heart.

>>154973248
is this the hot new baby's day out mode meme?

>>154973135
>Having the AUDACITY to burn MY core
get outa here
your jests are not wanted

I often wonder what people think of me here.

>>154973913
Name? I'll be honest

>>154973267
>rail
>rail

>>154973992
No because then I look like an attention whore. I need people to say it genuinely

>>154974057
Then you won't know, it's all shitposting

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>>154973305
Then you had better watch out for EMPs.

>>154973913
We don't.
>>154974057
You already do.

>>154974014
>rail
>lewd

H-Huh? She's always seemed the like absolute purest to me.

>>154967004
>but hurt non-human antags still get fanny flustered when el borgo caves their head in

https://youtu.be/QrC6paNUry0
>>154974263 8 days til purge

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>>154974263

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To that guy who complained ss13 combat is shit

Ss13 combat is as good as you make it. To me there are three forms of combat in spess.

The first is combat in the lethal sense. The winner is decided quickly, either through a tase, tricky pricky, scrubglove, or other guaranteed kills. This only goes when someone has something to gain or accomplish from the swift death of another, be it a sec officer egunning someone for standing over a husk in maint or a tator parapenning and spacing the captain.

The second form is conventional combat in an unconvential environment. Bar fights, riots, disarms, table slams, toolboxxing, anything where the fight resembles an actual fight and not a shooting sequence of an action movie or stealth takedown. This forges you as a spessman and is considerably robust.

The third I call honk-style. Slips, farts, bananas, soda cans, zas, nonlethal shenanigans that only oldfag Spessmen can appreciate. Too many people play for the kills, and call for blood when a clown slips someone and snatches their shoes. To be robust in this style of combat makes you a true spaceman, for fun is the essence of ss13.

Your skill in all three define who you are. Focus not on one and learn to appreciate the finer points of all your encounters.

>>154974964
yeah nah it's pretty shit
it's entirely a matter of "who manages to push someone down first" or "who's got a stun"

>>154975162
The push is a lot harder to chain lethal actions into, and the force alone from most easily carried weapons can't keep you stunned on their own. Even if you get pushed and toolboxed, you still have about two smashes left before you go into crit to make a move and finish them off before going into crit

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>>154974457
>"I'm the toughest of the tough tough"

>>154974964
I haven't read anything this autistic since zealotron was first given trailmin status

>>154973248
>you will never be a real artificial intelligence

How do we engiener=

>>154974457
Thanks for reminding me to bully her over this

post discord link

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THIS FUCKING ROUND SHOULD HAVE NOT EXISTED
FUCK THIS I'M OUT

>>154977157
Wire the things that make power to the things that need power to work, like apc and such.

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>that round

>>154977505
DID I JUST MISS A STAND ROUND

>>154977610
nope
the most retarded round ever to happen

admins are not THAT cool to make a stand round

Seth Mccullough stammers, "I had a feeling i should say something"

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>kill myself because admins press buttons for ayy, after promoting the janitor of course
>turns out other people joined me (I think the count was at least 8)
>Be Reica's PAI
>Banter with a box who was named meme as a borg
>Get stolen by polly
>Box gets thrown into the shard
>start slowly becoming the hacker known as fourchan and getting into sci while pumping her full of my tricord
>celt cries in ooc about people bitching about him for "no reason"
>Reica gets fucked up by turrets because of a mix of spacelag, shittery, and radiation poisoning
>get banned by celt for using the Japanese word for wife without even a moment for defense
really stimulates your neurons

>>154977680
Ok good
>Tfw my coding dream is to code crazy tier powers that make wizards pale in comparison
and make it secretly attainable through a very strict training regimen in the permabrig

>>154977763
wtf i hate celt now

>>154977763
Don't worry dude, you got your greentext, all of the greys died

thanks for being a cool pAI

>>154977819
>Using the training equipment for a very specific amount of time undisturbed gives you ultimate power
That's actually neat, gives security a reason to check up on perma often instead of just kinda letting them fuck off and basically removing you from the round
>>154977931
>Sharding the box I was bantering with
I'm still mildly salty about that, even more so than celt being a shit

>>154977680

>Antag has a power that turns anything into a bomb when touched.
>Only objective is to collect as many hands as possible.

No thanks.

>>154973248
law 2 would completely obliterate all the other laws below it.

>ai open this door, captain speaking
>can't do that tom, doors cost power to run

>>154978042
It seemed fitting at the time because they tried to doorcrush me and I had a second pAI that was empty and nobody filled it

>>154977763
one less shitter on ss13. Feels good man

>>154978050
We can do better
>Each person has two people in it, like a borer
>one is just the person, the other controls a stand
>You can customize it on creation, like a wizard picks his spells
>It can work on its own, the user can call it out and use it, etc
When you code it

>>154977763
What's the length on it?

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>>154978832
90 minutes

>>154979071
>90 minutes
>when i was spouting waifu shit too and had a meme name i get no ban
?????

>>154979275
He had three formal warnings, which results in an autoban

>>154979275
>Literally had meme as a name when borged
>We had a love triangle between and irradiated engineer, a box, and a PAI
>I'm the one who triggers celt
Although honestly, the only meme word that shouldn't be allowed is valid since it's such a niche general word that it wouldn't be used IC

>stands
>beyond wizard tier magics
>strength to make hulks pale in comparison, punching people sends them flying into walls
>borer voltron abominations
>sword made from the supermatter mass
How far can we push the power levels of space?

One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

which paper mario game is it where bowser crashes into the castle during a party and sends mario flying to a forest or some shit?

>>154979443
I want to send people flying through several layers of walls until they go through a wall leading to space, causing them to go flying.

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>>154978067
>1. You are expensive to replace.
>2. The station and its equipment is expensive to replace.
>3. The crew is expensive to replace.
>4. Minimize expenses.
is one of Pomf's stock lawsets.

It leads to extremely tedious interactions, but it's still semi-tolerable.

>>154979609
Paper Mario 64

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>>154979443
>stand has zipper powers
>make zipper to space via wall
>punch them through zipper into space
>"arrivederci"

We jojo now?

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https://youtu.be/IRsVJezFRi4

>>154977356
>https://discord.gg/YEh5fv7

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>>154979376
>"Formal Warnings"
>Go through the logs and I get one singular warning that bans me
Really makes your brain cells work at optimal levels
Also I found this the absolute madman

>>154978513
That would be too much fun so it would be up for a day then removed.

>>154981967
the admins made all of us grays how could i not do that

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>>154981760
That's a pretty cute girl, anon

>>154982178
Guess what
that was celt too

>>154981760
I love this picture.

>banning someone for 90 minutes for saying waifu
Isn't that clear cut and dry admin abuse?

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>After greytiding into the bridge, got stopped by a borg. The borg was given a talking to but Curver still insisted on pumping massive amounts of SALT into ahelps over it, enough SALT to fill the Pacific Ocean 12 times over. This isnt the first time I've seen you do this. Go cool off and go think about your actions.
BABY GOT BANNED

>>154982419
It's an hour and a half. Wow how awful he will have to do something for a short period of the day.

I have a crush on Soca.

>>154982419
I wish they would do that more often

>>154982523
>everyone is a NEET like you and can play 24/7
some of us only have a window of vidya time because we have responsibilities

>>154982419
>>154982523
It's true, I'm checking up on my dog's leg while posting
That doesn't make it right tough, ESPECIALLY when you can rp it into the goddamn game

>>154982704
He can still do something else during that time, if you have to play it then get help

>>154982771
My point is not that the game has to be played, it's that the admin in question is abusing their admin powers for stupid reasons to the detriment of players

>celt abusing power before he gets deadmined
ahh..

>>154982771
>>154982942
It's more the problem of where do you stop?
You allow ayy lmao even though it's just a meme, but you refuse waifu, because of reasons, when that's the one that is an actual word
So either you don't allow both, making this high-rp, which the server isn't, or you allow both, and you have like two meme rounds where everyone spouts waifu and then stops caring
Letting everyone on the crew spout ayy lmao and not care, along with a borg named Meme while having the PAI that has a database for this shit unable to say an actual word is what gets me

>>154983170
One was in game the other was an admin help, two different cases, at least from what I've come to understand

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>>154983321
>Read closer
>Look in the logs closer
>He banned me because of a ghost shitposting in ghost chat
really causes chemical reactions in your cranium region

>>154983580
Oh the story earlier made it sound like you just said it in game, that case it is pretty bullshit, still at least its not a permanent

>>154983652
He did say it in game.

>>154982623
I don't, she's a shitty admin that takes action on situations she's played in, most notably Bwoinking sec officers who arrest her or people that kicked her ass for being a shitter mime

>>154983580
post it in his admin feedback, he's been really shit lately.

>>154983763
But that is nowhere near a bannable offense

>>154974964
I miss Deep Danger.
I wish he'd get unbanned.

>>154983580
this is perfectly fine for a deadmin request

SAWBONES for HEADMIN

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>>154983920
Fucking do it. I dare you.

>>154983909
He's not banned, what are you even talking about?

>>154984139
Didn't he get Rule 0'd by Pain and Aurx? I haven't seen him around.

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>>154982509
>http://pastebin.com/Nmu5EQh6
>AHAB(Played by: CometRed) survived as a cyborg slaved to Literally Malfunctioning! Its laws were:</b><br><br>$@#@. Suit sensors being off leads to untailored advertisements, which causes harm to humans.<br>1. Never willingly commit an evil act.<br>2. Respect legitimate authority.<br>3. Act with honor.<br>4. Help those in need.<br>5. Punish those who harm or threaten innocents.
>>[19:17:43]WHISPER: Curver/(Honkmimester) (Brig - 274,197,1): Law to, release me now.
>[19:19:56]ADMIN: PM: Curver/(Honkmimester)->Zealotron/(Jarl Rat Prince Sawbones): Please let me know what you'll do about it. These silicons NEVER fucking understand ANY laws.
>Got this upsetti because a borg stopped him from getting a multitool


I think I found my new past-time
ctrl+f'ing admin pms and see the shit people ahelp

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>>154984374
>Law to

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>>154977610
>implying

>>154983909
People can't handle greyshit assistants unless it's Sawbones and even then if Sawbones isn't AFK he's antag but he doesn't play now
Mostly because nobody plays security they just roll antag on jobs they can get neat greentext tools.

>>154984598
W H E N

>>154984103
the memes cant save you now celt

>>154984290
He didn't get banned.

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>>154983920
I make a new topic in the deadmin request portion of the forum, correct?

>>154984887
HE'S DOING IT THE MADMAN

Space facts: only normies play sec

If nobody else does it, I'll log dive later for Celt's shitty actions and put it on the forum so the other admins slap him on the wrist and do nothing else

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>>154984887

>gets interested
>checks forum
>reads ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=2809&p=14982

Well, at least all the admins are still complete shit. Guess I'll check back in a year...

>>154984887
Yes do it! banning for some talk in dead chat is admin abuse.

Celt stopped being cool once he retired old blind Blackburn
Fuck you Gaylord you took the nigglyxcelt shitposting to heart like a grade a middle schooler

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>>154984887
BREAKING: KHARKOV21 FOUND DEAD IN APPARENT SUICIDE. TWO GUN SHOT ROUNDS TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD AND STUFFED IN A SUITCASE.
FAINT SCENT OF IRISH SPRING DETECTED AT SCENE

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>>154984887
DO IT ME BOY
MAKE IT HAPPEN

>>154985154
>21
I gotta make an account, give me a bit

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>>154985332
72 looks like 21 at a glance

>>154985084

Lel. Three bitchy lines about a crappy admin acting like the toddler he is gets you banned. It's like fallout station all over again

>>154984887
Correct.

>>154985853
I asked here because I appreciate my fellow spessmens opinions and not totally because I'm retarded and got the wrong thread

>>154985986
>playing any MOBA that's not dota 2
pleb

>>154986053
>too dumb to post in the right thread
>too dumb to play the more complex moba

looks to me like I'm where I belong

How hard would it be to make a holo deck that had human dummies appear that dissapeared after taking like 10 brute
I want to make a robust dojo for practicing tables and cuffchains and my cqc abilities

>>154986225
you're not dumb you just have to git gud

>>154986237
I doubt it would be that bad, but I'm not a coder so don't ask me
You might be able to just just hallucination code for that

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I'll make the BAN HE request tomorrow, it's about midnight where I live and I'm not able to go full NEET mode
But it begins

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>axe wizard gets robusted
>breaks out mutate clutch

>>154986696
Remove mutate when
I miss the days of ZA WARADO welderbomb being the new op spell

>>154986237
just order some monkey cubes from cargo, and do it in the bar.
it will draw a crowd.

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>>154986696
>Thought I got spawned in to stop the other wizard
>It was ragings
>Wasn't even the right wizard

>>154986783
Timestop was both larger and had a longer duration in 'those days'.

Divide Mutate and the Laser eyes into two separate spells.

Have Mutate weaken the wizard for a bit after its cast, forcing a recovery period. Or it it does a bit of toxin/brute damage when it wears out.

Laser eyes cause temporary blindness or permanent blindness if over used in a short period of time.

>>154984835
Now, if you can tolerate TGstation.

>>154987143
Is TG a pubby or do I have to dig for an ip

>>154986696
I was using mutate for the unstunnability, not my fault lasers happen if the axe gets disarmed

>>154978513
Literally a Syndicate item on TG, Hippie, and Paradise.

>>154987318
Public, but it's objectively the worst server.
c >>154956763

I just want a colonial marines server but humans v humans
Such a great medical system gone to waste

>>154987848 When you host it.
Code base got leaked ages ago.

>>154987934
I would learn how to code on that level but I'm not NEET

>>154985853
seems like it'd go good with fizz, naut, nami, coral reef malphite, etc.

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>>154988002

Is it possible to Baguloose without dying?

>>154988271
Yes, unzip one bag and put it on the other side of the room. Then throw the other bag at it.

>>154988130
>the code base was leaked ages ago
>this totally means that you can just open up a new server and plug the code in and it will magically be what you want with no coding ability!
>wow reading comprehension
K e k

>>154988271
get adamantine slimes and tell your golem to do it

>>154988396
And then have a third bag on hand, right?

How do I spawn shit on the test server (and also come back to life)?

>>154988446
>>154988396
you're being memed.

>tell a golem to go act like a kawaii anime girl
>they go catatonic
heh

>>154988525
Can't hurt to experiment. I just need an answer.

>>154988428
Literally the only things needed are a map hey, there's an editor! and paying for a server.

Is there a way to get a list of the test server commands?

Dig through github or join Discord.

>>154987556
also a wizard item and asteroid loot

Curver got fucking roasted by Aurx on the forums god damn.

>>154989046
link

>>154989080
http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=2809

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>My birthday has been spent doing this
Jesus christ why does my birthday suck every year

>>154989162

What I see happening is every badmin / lover joining a yelling contest, first on unrelated shit without bothering to read what was actually said (nuklear), Morena whining about being ahelped for powergayming (straight to solitary + ghetto surgery, really?) and then Aurx saying something in general about curver being pushy and an being asshole about it.

The funny thing is that in morena's ahelp, curver is actually saying: "Oh yeah, not a priority, but X is a bitch..."

Boo hoo. Admins are bitches, players are bitches, everyone's a bitch.

>>154989162
>Curver, you contribute nothing but negativity to the round and the server every time you're on and it's high time we started cracking down on this shit.

Pain actually right for once.

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>>154989508
At least you never planned to get all your friends around only to have them all bail and you ended up playing Spacemen

Why is /vg/station dying?

>>154989578
Is it time to ban sawbones for his shit?

>>154989735
t'aint

>>154989578

There's an obvious bias there. Only the shitlery is remembered. By that account, every player ever only contributes negativity except Arthur Dentist.

>>154989681
That's what happened Anon, I was suppose to go out drinking since I turned legal for it here and they bailed to go to a fair three hours away

>>154989753
Hi Curver

Sawbones is a decent admin at worst.

>>154989735
No new content no bus aside from 5 am lowpop
NO
CENTRAL
COMMAND
PRESENCE
REEEEEEE

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BIG
MEATY
CLUCKS

Tomorrow I go skydiving solo for the first time
0 decides what I scream right before I hit the ground in case of parachute failiure

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>>154989850
>mfw someone is goes full alt-right /pol/tard in my spessmen game

>>154989809
he is a decent admin because he doesn't do anything. He was a shit player before and should never have been admined.

>>154989937
i told u i was hardcore

>>154989937
CLOWN IS GRIFFIN ME

>>154989937
With this force I shall penetrate the earth

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>>154989850
>rail getting all upset about vox on human talk

>>154989735
codebase nuked itself, rest of server comes after

>>154989951
He has several bans and is almost always responsive to ahelps.

>shit player
>he unironically believes this

>>154973135
I enjoyed limping around on my fucked up leg mailing pizza to all the departments

>Original plan is to infiltrate by taking the traders identity, fails because vox is arrested
>Supermatter blaster plan fails because ZAS pulls the crate into the blast zone and the second RPG blows the crate
>Disorganisation intensifies immediately afterwards
>One of the ops uploads antimov to the AI while still in the upload chamber, killing two ops with lasers
>Vox op falls back on the trader plan
>I have to deal with a broken mechanical arm and busted lungs and somehow fumble my gun and other weapons
>Vox op makes it onto the shuttle into a secluded room with the captain
>Waits for the shuttle to leave the station before shooting her
We all fluked hard.

>>154989940
Rowan Leaf actually attacked and tried to kill me
Luckily I was jewish enough to aim for his head with a mining drill

>>154990004
>implying she doesn't want to be my gf
t. me

>>154989937
BADMINS SPAWN SHIT

>>154989809

Curver here. I like Sawbones actually... Even pre-admin, I liked him.

Proof: I don't like Kavlax. Then again, I admit being a cunt to him a little while back - much more so than Zealatron. I just disagree with what he concludes most of the time.

>>154989937
ICK OCK BAN HE

>>154990029
banning obvious rule breakers is nothing.
>sawbones
>not a shit player

hello sawbones

>>154990072
killette confirmed for irl libcuck killary supporter

>ahelping gets you banned now
shit server, glad I don't want to play with you trash anymore, roleplay faggots

>>154989968
rerolling for this

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>>154990156
Wrong. I play Sec mainly. He's a massive greytider and a colossal pain in the ass whenever he's actually playing, but goddamn he's the most robust player I've ever seen.

Seen him take out a Sec officer and a Captain with his bare hands in a brig cell.

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>>154974457

>>154989543
t. twat who tried to appeal a day ban

You reap what you sow, be glad this was only the first sign of harvest.

>>154990317
Cute

>>154990191

I was banned here once, some 2,5 years or 4 or 'fuck I've been wasting my life' years ago, for 'ban baiting' as a non-antag clown. I slipped the HoS 2 minutes into the round and was harmbatoned to death because I screamed: "EVEN TRAITORS DESERVE LIFE." When I ahelped my corpse being flung from an airlock, I was banned.

Things I did not do:
>break in
>theft
>disarm
>harm
>have contraband

Things I did do:
>slip furiously
>imply I was a traitor (only a little)

Spess isn't fair.

>>154990317
Did you just draw this? Wonderful.

>>154989937
>in case of parachute failiure
You don't need to indiscriminately scream,
you will notice well in advance.

>>154989937

"Acts out a scream."

>>154990191
I am an unbiased, uninvolved third party.
After reading the logs my reaction is:

fucking lol, stay gone faggot

>>154990291
>Seen him take out a Sec officer and a Captain with his bare hands in a brig cell.
That specific scenario you're talking about consisted of two IRL braindead waifus.
A fucking potted plant would have robusted those.

>>154990635
post logs

Alright I had enough of you faggot shits

This is a damned good server, and I want half of you fucks out

I want you waifus out, I want you roleplayers out, hell I even want you medbay fags out

You bitch and complain about realism, and I'm tired of this. The only good job in the game is botany now and only one good spaceman plays it.

I tell you to stop, I beg you, but you won't. You never fucking do. All you do is play girly dress up and peg each other in the ass. Well me and Ireland won't stand up for this, there will be some big changes soon.

>>154989937
sleep tight, pupper

>>154990713
Not to mention that it was back when plasmen suit had flash resistance and instant tabling was a thing, so it forced anyone to either take you on at range, or engage completely in your own terms if unable to.

>>154989937
Fucking z-levels

>>154990291
should have been rule zero'd. He would greytide all the time being worse than non antags, the only role he plays is assistant and after 10 minutes of running around he goes braindead in the bar.

I want to take Rail out of fucking medbay until it learns how to make a fucking mix from pills!

>>154990980
Winner, my potential final words have been chosen

Oh you guys think I'm funny huh? I'll show you who's funny.

Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to use my headmin powers to ban every single admin from even touching the server and remove all of their flags. You don't think I know how? I fucking do.

Let's see you all play on a server with literally no rules while I make pomf beg for me to stop, but it's too late because by the time I'm done with this servers asshole it will be stretched to oblivion.

What next?
I'm making my own server, you'll all play under my server and pomf will stop farming you sheep for donations and see what quality administration really is. You know who I am, and you better be fucking ready because you have 24 hours before this becomes an adminless hellscape.

what if flavor text was added but only appears when you stand next to someone for more than three seconds?

>>154990802
http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=2809

>>154990847
That's how I got my first secban, incidentally. Darn plasmen.

>>154991397
what if you never suggested any ideas ever egain?

>>154990291
Actual Sec player here.
When Sawbones is in the manifest, he is infallibly either braindead or doing nothing and will go braindead shortly after. Sometimes he will latejoin and already be braindead.
If, rarely enough, he is not doing one of the two above, he IS an antag and as soon as he spawns he will already be assaulting the first person he sees. He will without fail get caught 20 minutes in because he has no self-restraint or strategy and tried to charge an officer head on with stunglubbs or got flashbanged while hoping everyone would slip for him.
The only semi-remotely robust thing I can say about him is that he knows how to abuse ZAS to get as much cheese possible out of his free suit. In these cases, just get a hardsuit and go flashbang him, for he is flashbang fodder.

>>154990819
Fuck off. That's not me.

>>154991842
Who are you trying to say this is?
Why do you think I'm trying to be you?

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HARD HITTING PUNDITRY - ONLY ON /SS13G/

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>flukeop suicide bombs on me
>i'm wearing a bomb suit and i'm barely hurt

>>154992097
>snow
Very nice

>>154990291
>sawbones
>most robust player you've ever seen
so you've either been playing for a couple of weeks or you can't tell that his schtick is almost NOT to improve at all in his playstyle to keep the meme alive, if he started powergaming and ACTUALLY being robust he'd be reviled.

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>>154992097
QUALITY SATIRE LIKE THIS IS FOUND NO WHERE ELSE

I disable newcops, vox, cult and posibrain because the only team modes that are decent are aliens and blobs, and fuck being respawned because a cube needs an identity 2 minutes before they find my body.
What do you disable anon?

>>154992232
diona and posibrain, I set them to on at a per-round basis so I don't get memed into a shitty role because I went afk while dead

>>154992232
my life

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>>154991842
>>154991363
>>154990819
Establishing my identity. I'm serious about this.

>>154992382
please celt calm down

>>154992382
wtf i hate celt now

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>>154992382
>celt going nuclear

>>154992502
>>154992625
>>154992684
samefag

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>MISSION SPECIFICATIONS DECRYPTED
>ops
>Still have shakes after months
>just decide to follow the leader
>guy thinks it's a good idea to build the tele and rush the bridge
>follow along
>murder CMO, get shot by fellow op
>he has the spare but not the disc
>not sure if other op even brought a pinpointer
>eventually die to a harmbaton borg while trying to break out way out
>Sawbones decides to put one of us in the body of the braindead vox op
>make my way to the station, try my hardest to not get caught
>track the disc through maint
>the fucking clown has it
>chase him through maint and arrivals while he's lubing everything to shit
>somewhere along the way I realize I no longer have shakes
>cuts me off
>intercept him at Medbay
>slip one last time and know I'm fucked
>deathgasp in defeat
Pro clown.

>>154992232
Cult and Ling because both are slow as fuck and Malf because I've only played AI once and it was as a backup.

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>>154992382
>>154992502
>>154992625
>>154992684
That's not DrCelt.
I know because Celt, the faggot that he is, sets all his programmes to French for some fucktarded reason.

>Be clunwe.
> Deffiencey
>its another grab all access via borg episode
>Hand nick weller ace security officer pinpointer and disc.
>cmo rages, gets me arrested, but not before I captain>custom>clown my ID.
>dick around, try to find my next memegimmick.
>BOOMBOOOM "NUCLEAR OPERATIVES"
>grabbing meds from chemstorage ready to be clown paramedic
>Nicks bloody corpse gets dragged into medbay while clown is leaving
> OH SHIT NICK!!!
> loot him and grab the disk
>panic and make fill a bottle full of space lube
> nick somehow lives.
> tell him i got the disk. He protests
> "Dont worry. If there is one thing a clown can do, it is run away from armed men."
> Flee into maintenence
> doing well pretty quiet, get near the chef area with the busted ass cafeteria.
> FUCKING VOX OP OTHER SIDE OF ROOM
> see rounds dropping on the floor, spray lube backwards and run.
> get out into arrivals near that vending comfy area
NUKE OP HOT ON MY FUCKING TAIL
> spray more lube, see one of them fly into a wall
> HONK
> run into maint, manage to get lost and into medbay.
> corpses and blood everywhere
> nuke op flying down corridor firing at me
> tags me a few times with a lazergun, body goes into red.
> slips past me on lube.
> flee into maint high speed clown style
>swallowed some keloderm
>nukeops cant seem to find me from that point on, weaving through maint everywhere.
>they either ded or pissed off into spess.
>Escape with disc and lubed shuttle as a bonus.

I was born to honk.

>>154991765
Sawbones is a shit player, and a good admin.

I'd rather have him AFKing and waiting for ahelps, than afking in the bar and doing jack shit

>>154992814
Oh shit, I actually hit you? And I'm fairly certain I was the only op alive by the time I actually got into the station.

>>154992382
Real Celt here. Fuck off.

>>154992125
>i'm wearing a bomb
I'm sorry for your loss.

>>154992783
admin defense squad comes in

>>154992939
you tagged me pretty bad. I had to half-stun walk into maint.

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>>154993105
I feel slightly less bad now. The chase was a lot more fun than sitting in the bridge waiting to die.

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>>154993061
>>154992783

>>154993268 - see >>154993394

Now feck off, whoever took the image of me proving Solarious wrong when he went on a rampage

>>154992752
>Malf because I've only played AI once
Malf is the one round were you can get away with being shit at silicon.

Celt is just seeing how far he can push things before he gets deadminned for it.

Fucking dramawhore.

>>154993762
Fuck off or say it in the discord.

>>154993762
Jesus Christ, my friend. You are relentless. And I know who you are

>>154993394
Just to be clear, that's actually JustSumGuy
t. Discordfag

>>154993958
Seems like someone's mad they can't ban dissent when they are as equally shit as everyone else.

>>154994027
no thats me

>>154993762
this x 1000000000000000000

>>154993762
think he'll really snap?

>>154994431
holy fuck stop samefagging

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>>154994473
I'm trying to stop this drama
I'm not even Celt

whats all this celt stuff about

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>>154994247
>Samefagging this hard

>>154984374
Fuck this round i havent played in a month and i come back to full autism server when did you niggers start gettong serious about every little detail

>roll sec borg
>other sec borg shuts down to law 2
>catch mime breaking into bridge
>stun and cuff someone over radio law 2s to let go then someone else law 2 there is no more law 2
>drag mime to brig apparently he adminhelps like a little bitch
>zealotron decides to write me an essay on the proper "silicon" play boils down to i can onky stop people when ordered to do so
>feel like taking him up on his game explain i got law 2d that there were no more law 2d and forcibly breaking and entering restricted space chain of command mime has no power for a reason he is a danger in certain areas
>get another essay back from autisman
>look i picked sec borg to stop crimes do you want me to play along with people fokkowing strict rules or the people having fun and playing the game
>tells me i should pay attention to my AI
>AI sperging out threating to blow me becaise you aint listening
>jesus christ this isnt even fun anynore go braindead in botany apparently survive the round

What happened to the server over the past couple weeks some of you are pathetic

>>154989937
Oh shit was this valid?

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baby's day out mode when

>player controlled baby spawns at roundstart
>captain has to secure him
>anywhere from 2-5 undercover syndicate agents cooperate to capture him
>baby can resist out of people's grasp/containers and ventcrawl on cooldown timers
>babu gets randomized objectives as the round goes on (e.g. "go to the laundry room," "pet ian," "light somebody's cock on fire"), completing them enhances baby's abilities and strengthens its plot armor for further mischief
>baby must eat regularly or die (to prevent players from locking it in a room for extended periods)
>four minutes before the emergency shuttle docks all agents are notified via pda uplink that a syndicate shuttle will be arriving at one of several random locations at the same time as the emergency shuttle
>if the baby arrives at centcomm, the crew wins
>if the baby arrives aboard the syndie shuttle, the syndicate wins
>if the baby's left on the station or dies, everyone loses (round continues??)

>>154993394
Get in here, faggots!

We've got 78 people who looked at the discord at some point who are AFK in other discord servers.
Thriving and luscious! Also, Celt is offline.

>>154992752
>I've only played AI once and it was as a backup.
Were you called 'Backup' and was it recently?

>>154996297
you are playing silicon wrong.
follow your laws to the letter instead of following your boner for arrest valids

if it makes you feel better, the shitter that ahelped on you got banned for excessive salt/rudeness in his ahelps

>>154996621
yeah

>>154996297
"REMEMBER, BY DEFAULT YOU DO NOT FOLLOW SPACE LAW"
>dude i'm just following space law lmao why u mad

>>154996751
I gave you a law that said 'dedicate your existance to proving you are better than the primary AI' and you fumbled hardcore, damn shame. Should ask to be AIed again some time.

Also milf is easy, open the telecomms beaker, hack your borgs at robotics, shock the secure armory, wait for chemistry to be empty and shock it, turn on the digital valve for plasma and pump to distro, flip the switch and start setting air alarms to replace air.

Oh, and remember you can use canisters remotely, so you can fuck over anyone in toxins.

>>154996297
>then someone else law 2 there is no more law 2
Read the wiki. tha'ts not how laws work. You should have buzzed at him. He probably had never played silicon before.

when 'law 2' orders come into conflict, the most recent order given is followed.

>>154996893
I honestly had no idea how to do that because I couldn't rightly prove I was better if I couldn't perform basic AI functionality for the first 3/4 of that.

It was pretty jarring.

>>154996483
>throw baby in AI core with stun turrets
>attach nutrient IV

>>154996635
Did something happen that made you all so pissy about borgs? one day its basically borgs are practically crew members who cant fight back and have to drop what theyre doing and follow orders to you have a very specific set of things you can only do

So are engie borgs supposed to wait to be told to fix the station? If youre going to argue that a damaged station does harm to crew you cant deny breaking space laws doesnt lead to harm especially when its preventing that damage you would argue other borgs are supposed to fix. At this rate this server has gone from do your job and have fun to heres a script follow it

>>154996297
>fugg up
.>admin politelly tells you how you fugged up
>explain your side of the story
>admin realizes the extent of your stupidity and politely tries to inform you how to properly shittycon
>afk because salty
>whine in thread later

If you have been playing silicon like this for a while, I don't know how you slipped through the cracks.
The silicon shittery you described would not have been acceptable at any point since I joined this server

>>154996996
Step 1: Shittalk the other AI constantly
Step 2: Take credit for everything the other AI does
Step 3: Frame the other AI for something bad you did then get your borgs to kill it

>>154996297
>As a reminder, by default you do not follow space law

>>154997319
>POTENT HAMS
fuck off, we've had this discussion so many fucking times
read the rules or stop playing shitticon

>>154997319
>Did something happen that made you all so pissy about borgs?
I haven't noticed any recent change in silicon policy enforcement.
Like the other guy said, if you have been playing like this forever, must have you slipped through the cracks.

>So are engie borgs supposed to wait to be told to fix the station?
There is a large difference between engie and secborgs on asimov.
Enforcing space law on humans often conflicts with law 2, and sometimes law 1.
Setting up power conflicts with neither of these

>If youre going to argue that a damaged station does harm to crew you cant deny breaking space laws doesnt lead to harm especially when its preventing that damage you would argue other borgs are supposed to fix
Potential harm vs. Probable harm. If silicons were allowed to respond to potent harm the server would be a lot worse. Mime on the bridge is potential harm, not probable harm.

Asimov is supposed to be somewhat frustrating for all involved. It gives antags a chance to antag.
There are other lawsets that let you respond to potential harm, and space law crimes, but they are not the round start lawsets for a reason.

>At this rate this server has gone from do your job and have fun to heres a script follow it
When you are playing silicon, you quite literally do have a script to follow. Your lawset is the script.
If you want to arrest shitters play security. We could use more redshirts.

I fear typing this out was a giant waste of time, since you seemed to have not given a fuck about the advice sawbones said, and I'm sure he said similar stuff.

>>154997367
Well shit you metafags finally did it you turned the server into your own circle jerk cant tip your fedora or all your memes will fall out club house. I don't even care how mad you think i am this is just sad

>>154997319
Borgs like you are why I treat security borgs with extreme prejudice. Only going borg for your valids.
Nothing is more satisfying than disassembling shitters like you so you can scream at me as a brain after I put you in time-out.

>>154998582
The server rules on ASIMOV borgs has literally been this way FOREVER, you need to be on robocop or at least NT default to collect your valids as a secborg you absolute shitter

meanwhile I'm over here playing silicon to cuck the crew out lethalling wizards

>>154996483
Sounds like that one really shitty looking game where one person plays as a baby and basically tries to kill themselves via many typical child hazards, such as choking on batteries or other small objects, sticking things in a power outlet, drinking chemicals, etc. while the "parent" is constantly trying to keep the baby away from the hazards. Could be pretty fun actually.

>baby can get a cry power
>stuns/deafens everyone in earshot for a bit, or something
Has some potential.

>>154999062
I usually only play secborg to help the clown do funny shit.

>>154999142
the post you responded to is a copypasta

>>154998582
are you underage or just retarded

>>154999436
Yes, but I'm not the poster you're responding to.

>Roscoe's last words before death by singulo were saying he hopes Anne made it
>Anne got sucked off the shuttle

KILLETE YOURSELF KILETTE

>>154999475
Neither am I (づ⩾!⩽)づ

>>155000071
Really makes your neurons fire doesnt it.

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>watching people get yanked out the window by ZAS on the shuttle

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I wish borgs came with a toy hammer to smack people with.

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>>155000071
>die due to the aftermath of a goliath hit early on
>Anne finds my corpse
>processes my shitton of ore and puts the cash on my ID while I'm dead
>we and the new QM go full Cargonia afterwards
>see her off and on as the round goes on
>touch Wish Granter without knowing what it does
>suddenly have to kill everyone
>shuttle called right that second
>debate how I'm going to do it or even if I want to
>eventually wind up singuloosing too late to hurt anything
>biggest buddy throughout the shift got fucked over in the end anyway

At least I got to see a super singulo eat a normal singulo.

>>155000313
Called a stun baton.

>Be traitor, spawned as changeling but my verbs glitched out.
>Kill a scientist and steal pinpointer
>Decide first targets will be Reica, followed by Grace, Rail and Marco
>Hit her with shitter juice and drag her into maint
>Turns out she had sensors on despite me disabling them
>HoS and security officer catches me as I'm doing ARR PEE
>Manage to convince HoS that it's a prank and that we do this type of shit all the time
>Because she was physically unharmed and I had no tator items, I got away with it.
>Reica surgically fucks with me in retaliation.
>Implants an origami heart in my chest
>Now I'm scared.
>Pretty much tell her outright that I'm a traitor, she keeps quiet about it
>Wander around getting antag shakes
>Actual target comes into medbay dead
>Hide his body in maint while nobody's looking
>Decide I have to do SOMETHING
>Make IED and throw it at a braindead Vox
>Then make another one and blow a welder tank
>Away team goes, decide to get that pinpointer
>Proceed to faff about trying to select the perfect moment to break in
>Shuttle is called because valids secured
>Hack into captain's office
>Captain took the pinpointer
>Take spare egun
>Try to use disposals pipe to escape, but fail
>Captain comes in while I'm in there
>I don't leap out and shoot him
>End up losing my greentext for my cowardice

Sorry for dragging out the round like that, but I still can't antag too well.

How do I git gud?

>>155000470
stun batons don't make that squishy toy noise and stun people if you turn them on

I just want to honk people as borg, except differently.

>>155000507
Captain got out of his mech at one point only to get sucked out of the shuttle like >>155000214 said.

>>155000507
Dymitir? Glad to know I was at the bottom of your list. Otherwise, who were you?

>>155000507
wasn't suit sensors, I, another sec officer was diligently watching reica over cams and noticed you knock her down, cuff her and run away presumably into maint, I alerted the HOS who was nearby already and you done got caught, I knew you were a sketch bag but I just let megurine make the call

>>155000507
leap out and shoot him next time

imo it's more fun to go out guns blazing than that super 1337 operator "CE with objective to steal the blueprints" "got my greentext and nobody noticed a thing" shit. Antag the way you want, man.

antagging is about doing something to shake up the station to make it more (or less) fun for everyone.

One time I was just doing general engineering shit, somehow ended up alone with the captain in his office. He asked me about my past, and if my co-workers were being suspicious. thus we ARPEEd a bit. He said he suspected there to be syndicates aboard the station. I told him I could confirm it, then uplinked a revolver into my hand and blasted his head off and hid his body in his locker. Didn't touch his sensors, figured he'd be found soon.
Then tried to flood N2O but failed miserably, told an NT default borg to fuck off since I had captain-level access which basically made me the second in command, then... did something. Either way, got the shuttle called with my bullshittery. Was pretty fun.

>>155000816
>diligently watching me over cams
i don't know whether to feel alarmed or relieved, I guess it saved me from the succ

>>155000507
People really hate it every time it's whipped out but the syndicate wheelchair is maximum fun in crowds, you totally should have deployed it in virology when we were all bottled in

>>154973248
>Guy makes himself cap
>AI, kill all other crew

>>155000775

I was Dymitr. I ended up abandoning the kill medbay plan because I can never really bring myself to kill people I work with. By all rights, I should've taken Reica the fuck out as soon as she had me off the operating table, but I figured that it would've just gotten me killed in very short order.

>>155000816

Oh. That would do it, yes.

I won't ask why you were watching.

>>155000826
>>155001124

It's mostly due to the fact that when I do go loud, I get put down in seconds. It discourages me from using force when I still feel there could be another way to achieve an objective without personal risk to myself. I've been toolboxed by assistants too many times to feel that I have any competence at combat.

I considered making a tranq gun for knocking people out, a la Solid Snake, using the memechair and releasing a virus in the round, but I felt that security was too competent and would take me the fuck out because I'm not robust in the slightest.

>>154977763
You didn't get a moment for defense cause you've already racked up enough other warning for your atrocious behavior. Really makes you think if you should keep coming here.

>>155001346
Rapid syringe gun from R&D, 10u chloral for long stun / 15u chloral for kills. Ask for one, say it's for self-defense or shitter removal, nobody'll question you.
Add to wheelchair to go fast AND murder the fuck out of people.
Wear an ablative vest to protect yourself from tasers.

>>155001346
>>155001058
just to set the record straight I was watching medbay because megurine said there was some sort of surgery harem going on and I wanted to see what that was all about.

>>155001410
15 chloral does no damage by the way.

I have a crush on Rail
How do I get her to notice me?

>>155002154
Walk up to her are go "jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"
Trust me it works.

>>154989508
Dull toxic people lead dull empty lives fampai. Gitgud and be less of a self-obsessed selfish asshole this year

>>154996297
You're not a "security" borg to enforce space law and it tells you this when you pick the module. You have stuncuffs for enforcing law 1, stop human harm. Nothing in your lawset insists on space law and even then law 2 requests to be let go when they've done no human harm take precedence.

>>155000612
Slip them with water. then ping on top of them.

>>155001346
You just keep doing it until you get good enough that you don't get put down. You wont get better sitting on your space couch or shoving retarded downies on the playground.

>>155001346
If you're acting weird you get on the AI/sec cam guy's shitlist and they just watch you until it shakes something out of the woodwork.

>>155001346
Order like 6 virus crates. Analyze every virus in there. Or don't. Inject a beaker with some blood and breed the viral culture in the blood. Then inject the infected blood into a monkey. Do the following for every virus, one at a time.

Then take the infected monkey blood and harm inject some random person. Preferably a birb. Watch the station die. Horribly.

>reading all the retards that are actually supporting greytiding shitter mimes over a sec borg trying to keep the crew safe

Kill yourselves you autistic fucks. Spamming ahelps the instant a borg does something you don't like then crying when no one plays borg or AI so you can't ban bait them.

File: vox vault.png (233KB, 864x864px) Image search: [Google]

233KB, 864x864px

Anyone else tried making some vaults? I just did a quick voxentration camp but the size is about as big as the biggest vaults(biodome excluded). How big are these things allowed to get, can we have two biodome size things spawn in the same round?

>>155002597
Er, do the above, not the following.

Inject blood into beaker. Breed virus in blood. Inject virus blood into monkey.

Do that for every virus. It's best if you analyze the viruses though so you can see exactly what the monkey is injected with. Make sure it has as many viruses as you want. Ten is a good number.

t. Professional viroshitter

>>155002649
I've got a fair few down and done that I usually use for adminbus

Hang on and I'll get pictures

>>155002781
Important to scan for antibodies as while rare, sometimes they'll cure some before they're done and if you got antigen overlap it can wipe out a bunch of your viruses.

>>155002961
That too. Granted, when you work with six virus crates, it's pretty easy to use viruses with different antigens.

File: 9a2ed8957e.gif (3MB, 1239x1282px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1239x1282px

>>155002781
>That pants on head retarded recommendation
>"Professional"
Ohohohohohoho

>>154993468
Celt please don't mention my name, not every shitpost in the thread is me surprisingly, I'm one that actually doesn't mind you and wants you to stay.

>>155003072
What, one virus is enough? Unless you go killette on it, it won't be enough. I've wiped out a station with my strat before, would do it again if I got viro antag again.

File: skel_ship.png (72KB, 1018x479px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 1018x479px

>>155002649
Drunken sailor

BPM: 227
C4/0.11,C/2,C/2,C,C/2,C/2,C,F,Ab,C,Bb,B/2,B/2,B
B/2,B/2,B,Eb,G,B,C,C/2,C/2,C,C/2,C/2,C,D4,E4,F4,E
C,B,G,F3/0.5,F/0.5,C/0.5,C/0.67,C/2,C,F,A,C,B/0.5
B/0.67,B/2,B,E3,G,B,C/0.5,C/0.67,C/2,C,D,E4,F4,E,C
B,G,F3/0.5,F/0.5,C/0.5,C/0.67,C/2,C,F,A,C,B/0.5
B/0.67,B/2,B,E3,G,B,C/0.5,C/0.67,C/2,C,D,E4,F4,E,C
B,G,F3/0.5,F/0.5,C,C/2,C/2,C,C/2,C/2,C,F,A,C,B,B/2
B/2,B,B/2,B/2,B,E3,G,B,C,C/2,C/2,C,C/2,C/2,C,D,E4
F4,E,C,B,G,F3/0.5,F/0.5,C,C/2,C/2,C,C/2,C/2,C,F,A
C,B,B/2,B/2,B,B/2,B/2,B,E3,G,B,C,C/2,C/2,C,C/2,C/2
C,D,E4,F4,E,C,B,G,F3/0.5,F/0.75

>>155003290
Is there a verb for spawning vaults?

>>155003157
Please keep fucking up, the cover makes it easier for me. Do it everytime you get any antag. Nothing is stopping you and the vast majority of the crew are too fucking retarded to handle curing themselves let alone listening to comms and getting spaceacillin to ride it out.

>>155003290
>emitter cannons
I dig it

>>155003446
Load map element (in admin tab). can load a vault or even a .dmm file

>>155002649
Size doesn't matter as long as it's reasonable (below 100x100). Very big ones (bigger than biodome) may cause some tiny issues once in a blue moon, but it's ok generally

>>155003614
They don't actually work, there are no power lines in the ship anon.

>>155003290
What's in the box and on the paper? those lascannons are rough, the only thing I can think of is burning them out or using indestructible cover and their fire delay which is hard with so many.

>>155003614
>>155003290
We have wheelchair cannons now if he wants those. Shame about throw impacts though cause chutes with a mass driver would be the tits. You could launch shards, rods, tiles, roolboxes, plas shards, etc or 8, 12, or 18s "fuse" canister bombs at other ships.

>>155003290
Put a shuttle console in the bridge then either make a new or link it to existing docking ports.

>>155003556
What did he meme by this

>>155003773
Go meme the doors with your memebox and go mem the memes with meme memes. :3

>>154996297
Protip: The laws aren't very clear

File: temple_of_tootandcomein.png (607KB, 983x1167px) Image search: [Google]

607KB, 983x1167px

>>155002649
For when a clown is seriously bored

File: Cult_temple.png (76KB, 478x478px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 478x478px

>>155002649
Should a round start to dwindle, I start spawning vaults into the asteroid to spice up the miners time there

File: coloncircumflexendbracket.png (147KB, 425x282px) Image search: [Google]

147KB, 425x282px

>>155003290
Wow, that really is a skeleton crew.

Wasn't some guy making Holoparasites for /vg/station? What ever happened with that?

File: frogpond.png (60KB, 637x480px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 637x480px

>>155003952
>>155002649
I came to leaper hell and all I got was this stupid plushie

>>155004027
People here hate it because it's from TG and it's not "realistic" because it resembles stands from jojo.