SS13 - Spessmen on a Space Station /ss13g/

first for killete yourself kilette

We went so long without a new thread, I was so scared

Add sec glocks!

pomf123 is for _________

>>152513702
Me too. I didn't know what to do.

>>152513910
Icecream!!

*unzips clusterbang*

>Borg to potato battery
>Get to run around just being a fuckass
>Repeatedly beaten, blown, locked, flashed, shot, pulled out of trouble, cell stole constantly, flashed so hard my eyes were a static blanket the rest of the shift

Reminder that you can always tell who is a faggot in the thread by who uses exclamation points
99/100 times it'll be a waifufag or a waifu

>>152514428
No way!!

Booby trapable whoopie cushion for clowns when?
Pre-booby traped whoopie cushions for traitor mimes when?

>>152514428
They just know it makes you mad!

I had a very good idea

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Post gamemode ideas.
Nobody will make them for you, but it's nice to dream, right?

>>152514762
Living station where one player controls the living station. That's all I've thought out for it, though.

>>152514937
So malf

>Someone is RD already
>Do my usual xenobio
>Help out the old RD and get him a ghost camera and one for the detective too
>Keep doing xenobio
>Missions specs aquired
>Plan to loose slimes and use a declone gun to act like a bigger slime
>Sec comes in and finds me out before my ai comp just before I was going to upload a law saying to blow up all the lights as a prank because of some of the lights already blowing up (The other law 0 wasnt me)
>They say that they knew the whole time
>Tell them my plan and offer them immunity if they let me go and give them my pda code
>They just c4 me
Guess thats what I get for trying something different and wanting to try a gimmick.

Murder Mystery bus when?

>>152514762
It wouldn't make a very good standard round, but I'd like to see a bus round where the crew has to supply Nanotrasen to support some never seen conflict. orders start out easy, say 10 assault rifles and some trooper armour, and slowly build up to where you're cranking out combat mechs, while a saboteur is trying to stop you. Successful supply drops result in the station getting rewards, while preventing them rewards the traitor with more stuff.

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>>152412620
We've tried, it's next to impossible.
Players will disregard any clues, make a mess of a carefully made crime scene, and force a shuttle called.

>>152516304
We've also tried this a few times, believe it or not. Refer to above as to why it doesn't work and we've more or less stopped.

>>152517058
meant for
>>152515245

Holoparasites when

>>152516304
I've done this a few times and had mixed results.
>>152515245
I've done this a few times and it never works.

>>152517058
This, players are fucking retarded
When you do bus you basically have to scream at them what they're supposed to do, otherwise they just don't get it

>>152517493
Shaking my head. You don't understand what adminbuses are meant to be about. Provide a framework, see where it goes.
t. Admin abuser who wrote >>152517481

>>152517493
It's more that anything that doesn't end in 'CLICK ON THE SPRITE PERSON TO WIN' just bores 3/4ths of people so they either don't participate, or go out of their way to fuck up the bus, and the 1/4th are, while enthusiastic, too stupid to understand what they're supposed to do.

>>152517058
I've been part of a SCP 173 bus that worked. I saw it first on research and the crew thought a) I killed everyone or b) I was crazy
Then it showed up.

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>>152517648
I've always carefully planned the start and then set it up so that the players direct the rest, but even then it usually ends in a forced shuttle call.
I think the straw that broke the camel's back is when we built an intricate Soviet shuttle with traps and loot and not one player stepped foot on it. It wasn't like it was on another Z-level, it was off of the port arrivals.

>>152518274
I was apart of that. It worked, but it can never be done again. Specifically because any attempt to repeat it will be a poor rehash. It's difficult to do spooky as well because when everyone's listening to music and browsing at the same time, there's no sense of tension with their 2d spessmen.

>>152518473
I think us playing along so hard is what really made it great. I agree, it'll never work again. Maybe a necromorph gamemode would because they are really obvious looking

>>152518473
what the fuck is this image
are you memers just as autistic as the deviant art dude who added ponies to pictures of murders and 9/11
god


damn

>>152514979
No. If you could compare it to anything, it would be blob. I just like the idea of it turning into a maze, trapping people and killing them off or such. It would be able to construct and deconstruct many things.
You might suddenly see a room where there wasn't a room before, walk in, only to find out the entrance is sealed, and the station is now eating you or something.

>make religion's deity alien empress
>wizard named xeno empress came in with xenos
neat coincidence

Alice, why'd you tase me at eng?

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>wizard who pick mutate
That spell is so fucking busted. It has no downsides if you just carry some food in your backpack.

>>152519183
And they evacc'd. Just had the worst luck, we were immediately found, spaghetti'd and left before the antique showed instead of getting the other 2 drones to sentinel/hunt, clown was camping arrivals and then I got ganked hoping I wouldn't burn my only id teleporting in front of alice.

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>>152519124
Some fag in /gsg/ wanted me to make it for him.

Also that's from a 1959 West German film "The Bridge", not an actual photograph.
You fucking nerd.

Would recommend, basically young boys getting drafted to defend a bridge over the Rhine (Elbe?, it's been awhile).

>>152519124
Can you leave, please?

>>152519417
sure thing
t. anonymous

>>152519187
I made a public statement that people with covered faces would be taken out due to the wizard threat. You had a gasmask and an not-matching ID.

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>>152519124
Does this trigger you as well, by the way?

>>152519739
not at all desu i'm just amazed that autism can actually take a physical manifestation and post wermacht memes in this very thread

>liking Alice Conrad when the security dream team is BACK

>>152520476
>Liking Alice Conrad
No-one does, though.

>>152519661
Fug. I just fucked up so hard when I lost my spaghetti when we got busted not 1 minute after jumping in.

>regarding waifus
Oh my god

>>152522241
Explain

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>when someone tries to tell me /vgay/ has any good waifus left

>>152522241
>>152522743
This
http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=40&t=2757

>Going into space to look for the Syndicate Shuttle
Everytime I start to think Felicity is alright they do something like this. Shameful.

>>152523337
How is this waifu related at all, though?
It's a problem in general, not just with wiffus.
Is he just using that title to attract more attention?

>finish up implanting a prosthetic lung
>throw him in the body scanner to be sure everything is alright
>medbay gets nuked
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP
Doesn't help that I was keeping him under with anesthetic.

>Fluke ops: Megaman edition
I'll give you style points at least

>>152523694
i think the main reason was ditching the suits to meme with the megaman outfits and buying FOUR bundles
don't regret it though, it was hilarious

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>it's been 2 months since multi-hands were added and still no Martians

What's the hold up

i've definitley seen Felicity fuck around on the nuke ops shuttle during before

>play med
>never really revive bodies with less than 50% blood because it uses too much blood
>whenever someone comes in with blood loss I just feed them iron though
>only end up using bloodbags on people who come in with 50-60% blood and AREN'T dead which only happens really rarely
>always end the round with most bags full
I need to stop this. Someone help me figure when to be stingy and when not to be.

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mfw I disarm a nukie, cr20 him, and he is polite enough to let me strip me before he assplodes

>>152524208
just
clone
them
If they come alive, just kill them and clone
Reica does that all the time and gets away with it

>>152523984
Wish upon a star

>>152524354
But i've got all these supplies I ain't using nigga
It's driving me up the fucking wall and mocking me all the way to the ceiling

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>>152519980
Excuse me but that is clearly the Kaiserliche Armee c. 1916/7, closer to 6 because of the lack of steel helms (unless this group is poorly equiped or supplied, but being used for propagandic value I doubt it), somewhere on the Eastern Front. The laid back, and clearly staged, demeanor shows it's likely a reserve trench some way behind the line, or much more likely a trench that the frontline has passed by a few dozen kilometres.

Your misgendering of this poor Saxon draftee has triggered me greatly, and I would like your ckey so I may ban you.

>>152524797
HIROSHIMOOOOOOOOOOT

>>152524208
>>152524354
What if we added a timer to keep someone from getting cloned for X minutes after they died?

>>152524208

When I play medbay, I only want to clone people who come in dead. Anyone who dies mid-treatment, I continue surgery and revive them, unless the Ride is in full swing and I don't have time to be fucking around pretending to be Hawkeye

I personally find it more satisfying to take a broken body, and surgically repair it rather than just throwing it into the cloner.

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>>152524797
That's not my picture Moottwo

>>152524914
It's not so bad, one time my shit got replaced with illegal porn

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>>152523550

Metagaming is currently allowed 90% of the time (depends on the admin). Some examples that come to my mind immediately:

-Doing any job outside of your immediate skillset. Examples: an IAA performing appendix removal surgery on a perma inmate in perma itself with a knife, a table and some other shit just to avoid the chance of escape (I even ahelped this yesterday; Rei signed off on it.
-Teleporting highly valued items from telescience by working out the co-ordinate difference between Dream Maker and the game per Z-level. Examples of shit you can steal: EMP & baton (derelict), plasma/whatever miner (derelict), antique captain's laser (medical ship), insulated gloves, etc., etc. Admins don't care, ever.
-Using any sort of air / piping knowledge as a non-atmos guy/gal to fuck something up. For instance, hooking up a few canisters of sleepy gas to the gas pump in the locker in maintenance just above the holodeck / dorms.
-Instantly recognizing the game-mode and acting accordingly. Examples: Seeing a puff of smoke and yelling 'wizard' without ever seeing said wizard. See AI being relocated and screaming 'MALF' without AI ever having done anything wrong and destroying it before ever saying another word. Etc.
-Having the crew monitor (as a carbon or silicon, it doesn't matter) opened in a tab as you run around the station. It continues to update perfectly. Admins don't care. I'm 100% they don't care if you're silicon, about 90% sure that they never care.

That's just the stuff from the top of my head. Just accept that metagayming is allowed on here. Anything else would require actual RP.

>>152525330
I'm allowed to be disappointed in people if I want to be. Going after the Nuke shuttle has always been frowned upon and oft punishable. I can tell you're new here, but it is a great disgrace.

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>>152525476
No it hasn't
What are you talking about?

I've got it!

The way to uncasualize medbay, is simply to remove all plasma sheets from station at roundstart!

No clonex for cryo or easy biomass from monkeymen


Or, have it so that clonex consumes plasma while being made, rather than using it as a catalyst

>>152525476

New... Right. I've just been coming here ever since the Pomf took over. New yeah. And before that. Should I throw in a 'free Kingston' or 'free Chase' or maybe a 'our bald overlord in security did nothing wrong' every other sentence you fucking idiot? Should every single one of my posts have a random Cuban attached to signal you my worthiness to make points?

Fucking respond to the feedback or keep your mouth shut, self-absorbed, retarded prick.

>>152525802
Fuck that, fuck you. Medbay is fine the way it is, don't touch my fucking department.

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>Has been de-adminned for his statement that he would use admin powers to grief roleplayers.

Here lies a true patriot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZXwJcc1u-I

>>152525864
See, when you get so defensive it just makes me think you're covering something up. What's the deal?

>>152525948
I hope that's true

>>152526092

http://ss13.moe/index.php/admins

rei1226 Removed

It's true.

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>>152526092
RIP rei

You were a faggot and you will not be missed.

>>152525948
huh?

Remind yourselves overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.

Rei paid the price.

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>>152525992

I metagame constantly and secretly hate myself for doing it.

Seriously though, I just can't stand abnoxious 'keepers of the faith'. "I'm special, because I've been here for X months, years or whatever." Defeating an argument by claiming that and disregarding everything else that was said makes you a prick. It's even worse when you're wrong and get self-righteous about it. "I must know what your secret agenda is, because I am special." You're special all right...

>>152525948
Will not be missed

>>152526278
What happened to senaat and yred?

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>>152525948

>Rei was actually removed
Very weird times at /vg/.

>>152526680

Rarely agreed with Rei, but I think he's a good admin.

We made rei disappear, you can thank us later.

t. Zealot and the bones

>>152526734
>good admin
>constantly shitting up OOC with /pol/
>metagrudges players for playing different than he likes
>overall a giant shithead

b-but muh bus, muh bus yeah muh bus he good bus

Aurx is a fucking retard.

Vote on the next headmin here.

>>152526515
Yreds BYOND account got messed up or something so he just made a new one under the name kavlax and had his old one demoted and his admin status added to the new ckey

>>152527261
Nuke was the only one autistic enough to actually be around for more than a couple days a month

>>152526734
I am calling Pomf, he'll stand agaisn't this shittery.

"Aurx: I'll reinstate you"

It's literally mrpain666 gone mad.

>deadmin
>re admin them an hour kater

REI
IS
BACK

>>152527771
damn

Vote on this now

www.strawpoll.me/11050231

http://www.strawpoll.me/11050265/

Important.

>>152527256
t. Trinity.

Where's the metaclub to save you now boner?


www.strawpoll.me/11026892

>>152526515
senaat quit ages ago, he just plays now

>day ban for this

>save lives
>get thanked
it was an okay shift

>IAA
>Investigate murder claims
>Track down missing people
>Speculate about vampires
>Help get people and bodies to medbay
>Work with security to keep things moving smoothly
>Oversee station from comfy sec cameras
>Notice when Secborg and Danger wreck poor Bones
>Defeat Danger in a thrilling brig gunfight

Successful internal affairs shift

Shout out to Deep Danger for being a fun antag, what a shock that was!

Surprised Isiah didn't just valid his target, the QM, when I let him know that he ordered a fuckton of guns. Nobody probably would have blinked an eye about it.

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is this set up good?
didn't get to finish because some syndie decided to delaminate the shard
did you delaminate because you couldn't singuloose?

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Let's remember the good times when this wasn't illegal.

>>152531282
Please make this a future OP image.

>>152531175
overkill on everything, sometimes less is more

My waifu a cutest!

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>>152531371
>sometimes less is more
>on an SME

>>152531371
so with this i can use prism or two?

>>152531692
>My waifu and my waifu's player are both cute
Get destroyed.

>>152531716
That set up doesn't need all those pipes,vents, or scrubbers for a 3 emitter SME filled with nitrogen.
>>152531742
Sure

>>152531912
>my waifu, their player, and their playstyle are all cute
DESTROYED

>>152532117
Who?

>>152531175
You might as well use a layer manifold and stick five vents on the waste loop instead of one.

>>152532269
i'm not gonna say....

>>152532672
Well, I want to know who this waifu us that is actually a cute person in real life and conducts themselves in a cute way. Some people would think that you're just lying.

>>152532931
morena :^)

>>152533003
Am I a joke to you? Is this thread a joke to you?

>>152532117
>that tfw feeling when my waifu is actually like that but neither of us are /vg/ lads now

>>152533175
i like shitposting about waifus
ALL OF THEM

>>152533003
>Not assistance unit naomi reica trinity lacy lisa dana ramona malachi

>>152533357

Fuck off, Bateman.

I'm in love with you Rail!
Please come back...

>>152533473
I'm not cute irl Fuck off

>>152533642
Which one?

>>152533550
really hope that useless piece of shit never returns
he is the main reason we have these retarded waifus being enabled now

>>152533873
SHUT UP SHE'S CUTE

was there this much waifu shitposting in these threads 2 years ago
I feel like this place has just become shitpost central for the brief period i have returned

>>152534479
Yes

BEHOLD
Sawbones asked Rail to come to the bar and didn't give a reason. When she arrived, he said "Welcome to the date!" (or something like that).
She said to me in Pidgin something along the lines of "This is a joke, right? Did you set this up?"
The next minute or two was mostly both of them being awkward while Sawbones gradually got more and more distressed. The remaining five minutes or so was Sawbones crying and screaming and Rail trying to comfort him.
After Rail left, Sawbones commented in LOOC that it was his greatest piece of performance art.

>>152534479
yes

your options are to ignore it, embrace it, or get irrationally mad at it and upset yourself over internet drama

>>152535174
were you the bartender?

>>152533473
I know that some people joke about like
>See Reica Carter
>Log off

And that's just a meme, but I seriously won't play in the same department as Malachi anymore. He just makes everything harder, have to work around him.

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>>152523172
>tfw your waifu barely plays
>tfw your waifu barely even observes anymore

>>152535514
It's a new player

>>152535514
Here's a great quote from him.

"Can I just go MOMMI and tell people my body is in a sleeper."

>>152533743
Assistance Unit

>>152535514
>>152535873
>>152535940

[19:01:19]SAY: Malachi Enbontu/Plapatin/(Malachi Enbontu) (@197,218,1) Deadsay: stammers, "Should i become a mommi and try to signal that im in the sleeper"

>>152536046
Except for finding interaction with you hard, I like the gimmick

>>152536183
me on the top right

>>152535873
Is he brazilian by any chance?

>>152536267
I'm not really her, I was shy.

I'm Naomi

>>152535318
No, I was
However, that was copied and pasted from my post on the subject, so I guess yes, effectively that poster was the bartender

>>152536183
me in the bottom left corner
people seem to like me anyway for some reason though

>>152536625
you're cute and I want to e-drink with you

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>>152536183

>>152537086
What does "cute" mean in the context of this 13 year old space station themed TTT server.

>>152537310
Roleplays, occasionally fails terribly at being robust, doesn't really wordlessly tazecuffbrig

>>152535514
Malachi's nice, but very incompetent
I once asked him for rye and he told me to ask the botanists
He was the chemist

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>>152536183
Top left: autist savants
Top right: true paragons
Middle: literal whos
Bottom left: literal memes
Bottom right: well intentioned whos

>152537698
That sounds cute.

>>152514428
Excited! faggots are tolerable
People who use ellipses constantly are the real problem

>>152514428
The only person I've ever seen who uses ! in game is Boris

He's not bad

>>152537774
You placed goofball a bit too much to the right and up.

And probe had at least a bit of skill, come on

>>152537698
i was the MD
not the chemist
i'm either MD or geneticist, when i'm playing medical units
i was in the chemist's area because i was trying to make space drugs

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>>152537774
>no praecordia
>no elim

>>152538596
Oh, I thought I saw orange
Sorry

Still, you should get more experience with the game before going for medical jobs

syndie items added to artifact drops when WHEN

Remember when the admins made a guy a catperson for his Chester Cheetah gimmick and everyone flipped the fuck out because they couldn't resist the valids? Good times.

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This is your 'iconic human sprite'

Do you recognize it?

>>152539429
That is a shaved monkey with very broad shoulders

>>152538054
whats wrong with ellipses...

What happened in the last few months? Last time I saw zealotron make an admin request, everyone said lol no. Is he reformed now or something?
Haven't been around in a while.

>>152525330
>For instance, hooking up a few canisters of sleepy gas to the gas pump in the locker in maintenance just above the holodeck / dorms.
thats fine, most idiots can assume the can with the big warning signs can be hooked up somewhere and fucked with
however a better example would be celt hypothermia death pipes
>Instantly recognizing the game-mode and acting accordingly. Examples: Seeing a puff of smoke and yelling 'wizard' without ever seeing said wizard. See AI being relocated and screaming 'MALF' without AI ever having done anything wrong and destroying it before ever saying another word. Etc.
Generally witnessing someone cast smoke out of nowhere while wearing wizard outfits is enough proof. usually if I see smoke its never wizards anyway
also if someone sees the AI being relocated they wont yell ;MALF they would probably ask common why the ais being moved then everyone would get super suspicious because that is INCREDIBLY suspicious

>-Having the crew monitor (as a carbon or silicon, it doesn't matter) opened in a tab as you run around the station. It continues to update perfectly. Admins don't care. I'm 100% they don't care if you're silicon, about 90% sure that they never care.

B U G R E P O R T
I did not know this existed

>>152540408
https://youtu.be/xEL3c6N3DO8

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>Grow every edible plant with a recipe
>Use condimaster to produce refined bottles of milk, flour, rice, sugar, soy milk
>Even make chocolate bars and soy sauce
>Make a choco coin to redeem for a baster
>Chef doesn't cook anything but one spiked burger at the end of the shift
Gettin too tired for this

>>152541760

Hey now

I cooked two burgers

>>152541760
If you know the chef is a shitter, just play with xenobotany.

>>152541760
should chef and botanist jobs just be combined or what
all I ever see is complaints about one from the other

>>152542151
>Not giving the chef mystery non dangerous plants to cook with

>>152537774
Do one with all the admins

>>152542172
it's like security and the clown. They need each other. instinctively.

>>152542341
botanist should have some kind of food they can grow for the crew that's a bit like a "fuck this chef isn't make food, have my hard work instead" kind of like watermelon is right now

>>152542453
grass and wood

So can emagged borgs still get blown or is the wiki right for once?

>>152542453
Potatoes

>>152541760
You are overrating your own work

>>152540809

>stop checking the thread for several months
>come back just yesterday
>people still shitposting about SJ, Morena, and general waifufaggotry
>about only half the thread is talking about the game

Nothing has changed at all.

>>152543512
I didn't "rate" my own work at all, I just listed things that I did. Any rating you inferred from that is your own projection.

>>152543107
Short answer: They can be blown, yes.
Long answer: Emagging a borg unslaves it from all AIs. AIs can only lock or blow borgs slaved to them, so it prevents the AI popping the borg, but humans and other nonsilicons can blow any borg if they have robotics access, regardless of the borg's emeg status.

>>152543942
No need to respond to my "aggression" with passive aggression. Any aggression you inferred from that is your own projection.

>>152541760
>Be miner
>Service department and science department are empty
>Get access to both
>Finish up R&D then start playing harvest moon
>Make some cool stuff
>Order some fancy meat crates
>Actual chef joins
>Runs in
>Deep-fries all the special meat and puts it on the counter
I told him to fuck off and he did.

tl;dr cook it yourself

I want to impregnate Lisa Tovir and make her carry and raise my children as a single parent!

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>>152539130
>elim moved on and is now busy making something out of his life
>prae is a burnt out husk of a man who subsists entirely on memes, 'ironic' fake IC in OOC, and :^) faces

>we'll never see another power hour again
>bus will never be as good as it was in 2014 ever again

Celt gets a lot of shit, but he's a pretty cool dude
He overreacts to shit and makes questionable decisions sometimes but overall he's a great guy

>>152542453
Eggplant is best at 3 nutriment x 2 per harvest. Just add robust harvest.

Watermelon is just 2 iirc

>>152545320
>hypothermia

>>152531282
remember when chaplains could get full lines of text from deadchat?

>>152545437
>questionable decisions

does tinfoil hat really block mind swap or is that a myth?

>>152545604
it is true

>Managed to space a wizard using the chapel mass driver, and kill a few zombies.

I hope I made God proud today.

Post your most memorable SS13 moment
not a long story, just a short thing that happened that you still remember

for me its a deathsquad mech shooting me and my labcoat fully absorbing the shot

>>152545604
That's just some dumb rumor perpetrated by crazy fucking tinfoil hatters. Pay no attention to it, goyim

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>>152545894

>fucking ages ago
>be CE
>some tatortot releases singulo shortly after it was set up
>either i had no engineers or they all fucked off
>singulo eats part of engineering but fucks off to space, ends up destroying the PA
>well shit
>fuck it, time to get to work
>notify the QM, tell him to keep his lid shut about it to not get everyone worked up
>hes a cool guy and does what i say, orders PA parts and extra field gens
>rebuild and repressurize engineering, wiring, rad collectors and all
>manage to get field gens reset and singulo gen reset
>start up the PA, reset the singularity
>everything is flawless
>no one other than me, the QM, and I guess whatever traitor released the singulo knew that the singulo got loose

Shout out to Aurx for giving me a couple tips to get my stuff done faster.

>>152546151
As an engineer player that's one of the most amazing SS13 stories I've ever heard.

>>152545894
I once got ambushed by a traitor in a maintenance hallway
by amazing luck I barely dodged his xbow shots in that 2-tile wide space until he was out of ammo
I then escaped, and saw his red text on the shuttle

>>152546647
One time a traitor tried to ebow me in the maint tunnel, but i embraced the lag and ran through his shot and stungloved him

>>152546332

I used to play CE pretty regularly way back in the day, and rounds like those is what kept me coming back to play. I got really good at it and I enjoyed coordinating all the engineers and I had a good group that would listen to me and we all enjoyed playing together. I stopped playing for a good while though and tried picking the game up again not too long ago but I feel like so much has changed, it feels like being new all over again. I really enjoy playing MoMMI though.

>>152545894
For some reason, the most memorable thing was an admin (as player) walking by and saying "you should learn a new language" and giving me rootspeak after I'd made like 10 survining nymphs.
It's a dumb thing to remember I guess

>>152547181
sounds pretty cool
I remember when our mods did fun things that weren't just meant to force the shuttle

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>>152545747
You made your dead HoP very happy and amused, at least.

>>152545894
back when we would have away missions
>playing paramedic still back then
>portal takes us to winter planet
>crew has the objective of setting it up as a base
>everyone is working hard, it's going well
>crew starts disappearing
>my gut tells me it's a ling, since it fit the setup
>start scouring the pitch-black snow planet looking for bodies
it was pretty atmospheric and spooky
eventually I found about 6 bodies stacked behind a tree

away missions pt. 2
>beach paradise
>one guy sets up the bar
>a couple of waifus and me drinking bahama mama's and playing with the beach ball
>I leave because someone needs me to do my job
>come back and it's deserted
>tator out of nowhere stuns and kills me
>drags me into the water where I see the bodies of all the other beach partyers
>he then starts killing people as they come through the portal

>>152545894
getting outsaxxed in maint, disarmed, and laughed at and LOOC'd in the face by deadchat as a newbie cultist trying to get my first convert
at the end of a round

>>152545894
My first ever shift in the station I got bolas thrown by the clown, robusted his ass with a toolbox, chased him till his office and started shoving him down disposals till a admin bwoinked me.

Maybe its standard fare in most shifts, but it just stuck with me y'know, a guy with literally no experience, getting bwoinked in less than a a hour trying to kill a clown over something like bolas.

I kind of miss my John Cooper times, back when I though Mommis were monsters, beat them to death with shovels and threw the MMIs yelling that I was a nigger to space. I still remember when I though a mommi was carrying the real nuke out into the open, could swear I checked and it was real, beat the shite out of it and it was just the beer one.

>samwell benitez flirting with fay ellione

will it ever end?

>Clown steals captain's spare
>Ends up being a good captain
Fine job Clown

Credit where credit is due: he found the AI's hiding space first and I found it separately, albeit after him

>>152549381
>sj cheating while his gf is offline
what a scumbag

>>152549381
rule zero the cancer and it will

>TGshit is headmin
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>152550859
>tfw inti will never have time for cervix tickling now that he has to handle headmin duties
i just want my husbando back

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>that smackdown that the engiborg gave to Felicity
Robust as fuck.

>>152551084
when did that meme even start

>>152551557
first it was about bouncing on intigracy's trialmin dick
then there was some shit about cervices and even probe jumped on it (the shitposting) and forgot to take his trip off
and then it became inti x cervix

>>152551557
it was started by inti so he could be relevant

>>152551931
but anon, i was one of the people shitposting about it
didn't write the smut though

You are an engineer with only your toolbelt and other spawning equipment.

What do you pick to defend yourself from a vicious clown or spacecarp?

I figure a lit welder would be good but it always fails me.

>>152552326
Carp: welder
Clown: Screwdriver aimed for eyes

>>152552145
hang yourself

>>152552326
Lit welder does 15 burn damage. Works fine against mobs with low life like carp where they're guaranteed to be in your face 100% of the time.

>>152552369
can't screwdriver the clown, his mask protects his eyes

>>152552393
i will consider it

>>152552426
>>152552489
What about you average human antag, then? Lit welder to the chest or leg depending on if they are wearing armor over their chest? How much punishment can the hands take before they can't hold anything anymore?

Question, what the fuck does the AI actually say when delta is activated? I just cannot decypher what it is it says.

>>152552592
100 shots, 1 shot, anything in between

depends on how much RNG wants to shit on your life

>>152552592
Use your CROWAR and pry up floor tiles.
>>152552752
It's better to not know.

>>152552592
Burn damage won't really do much to their ability to hold items, that's brute damage. It will still apply apply pain to them, though, which will stun them once the pain is high enough.
If it's a human antag, you're probably dead if you can't stun them since it's so powerful and what everyone relies on. You used to be able to roll the dice and trick them to clicking on an exposed cable, but I think that doesn't work anymore.
Throw floor tiles at them? Your tools don't really hurt for a lot except for the welder, which still only hurts as much as a floor tile and doesn't cause bleed memes or broken bones.

>>152552752
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_q_wC2X7nUA

>>152552968
I thought those got gimped hard?

>>152552981
Exposed wires can and will ruin your day if you don't have your yellow gloves and click them with a wrench or somesuch. I don't know about what happens when they get touched with more common murder tools.

>>152552752
in 1997
steve was chopping wood
he missed a spot and chopped off his dick
in 1997

in 1990 chacha chopped off his in 1990

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memes

>>152553239
who that cute boy

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>>152553239

>>152553239
I've heard niggly's voice
He sounds like the kind of kid in your high school who would latch on to your friend group and then kill funny conversations by saying something cringy that made everyone stop laughing

>>152553738
>overenunciates things
>repeats something over and over again if he wasn't heard
>snickers to himself
Yup, this is accurate

>>152553548
>>152553239

>There will never be a SS13-themed side-scroller adventure where you wander the station as an assistant, exploring maint for loot, and finding the correct IDs to access more of the station, get new gear like stolen hardsuits, and validhunt antags like a true greytiding shitter.
>Boss fights include a clown changeling in the dorms who wants to give you the succ while ERPing you, a squad of new cops, and the Head of Security

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>play assistant, notice that nobody is in science
>turn pod bay into a ghetto R&D lab thanks to some conveniently emagged doors to mechanics and tech storage
>do all of the research myself
>some security officer comes in at one point
>"this is illegal, you're fucking with the station's property, did you get HoP permission?"
>nigga what
>later, see beepsky trying to butt his helmet against the wall while he waves his stun baton angrily
>he actually set me to arrest for helping the station
>mfw

>Get hit by two SMG non ap just normal SMG bullets on CM
>Wearing my helmet, nto even hugged
>Decapitated

Everyone who played security last round should never play sec again.

>>152545894
>not a long story
sorry bro

>rather new to ss13, late at night, low pop, no security, final destination
>bartender at round start, grab my armour and double barrel
>other staff in the service sector are a vox chef and a human botanist
>centcomm adminbus report states that there's a murderous escaped convict among the staff who threatens to pick us off one by one
>focus on protecting my servicefriends from the looming threat, becoming a validhunting vigilante and a real human being and a real hero
>eventually catch the escaped murderer after another adminbus centcomm report practically points right to him, seeing through his disguise and attacking him in medbay, where he got himself a hivehand
>after a robust fight I hit him with a beanbag shell and bash the shit out of him with the stock of my shotgun
>I have tasted the sweet nectar of justice and have become a real human being and a real hero
>at the end of the round I found out that, while he was the appointed to be the escaped convict, he was a chill guy who didn't actually kill anyone

But there's more

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>>152555738
>go back to my underutilized bar, still covered with blood, and serve myself a glass of whiskey in relief: the station is safe now
>after finishing I walk out to check on the vox chef and tell her how I proved myself as a vigilante
>as I walk by medbay I see the clown suddenly turn into a xenomorph before my eyes and skitter behind the doors before I can take him to Woodstock like I did with the convict
>a doctor noticed and warned everyone over common before being killed as I could only watch behind the airlock
>shuttle is called, shit hits the fan, all I can do is drink whiskey and hope the shuttle gets here before I'm clawed to death, but I forgot the most important part of being a bloodthirsty vigilante:
>vox servicefriend urgently requests help over the radio, she says there's a xeno attacking her and the botanist in hydroponics, just two doors down
>rush over to help them, but I'm too late: they're both dead and the xeno bastard wounded
>smash my shotty stock over it's head with the fury of a man who just lost his two beloved friends he knew for about 30 minutes
>there's nothing I could for my friends other than give them respect, and I drag both of them to the chapel to place them in coffins
>distraught and enraged that I failed to protect them, I feel the spectral presence of my departed friends in the chapel as I place the bodies in coffins, and I know what has to be done: I am to redeem myself and become a robust warrior to fend off the xeno threat

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>>152555854
>rip my shirt off, craft a spear, and let off a mighty retard screech for all to hear
>a lone scientist with a laser rifle finds me in the chapel and we both realize we are the only two people with the capability to avenge our fallen acquaintances, and perhaps the last two people left alive
>all of my 2 minutes of preparation has led to this moment: a grand and glorious charge on the infested medbay that I plan to not return from
>me and sciencebro plan a flanking maneuver, moving through R&D maintenance into medbay and catching those slimy xeno fuck(s) (there was only one of them left at this time) by surprise
>use my vengeful masculine strength to smash the grill and heroically step into R&D, the first phase of my plan to avenge the people I failed to protect and become the a hero alongside sciencebro
>room fills with nitrogen, firelocks drop
>me and sciencebro pass out and die

I wasn't even angry. Just disappointed.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikv2BPl6udg

>>152555097
that's what happens when baybies are allowed to play on /vg/ without being thoroughly educated on why they shouldn't act like they're playing on bay

>>152557290
caesar was a shitcurity that took his job too seriously on lowpop, dude shouldn't play sec again. arresting a botanist for growing weed on lowpop when a traitor captain blew up medbay, and then letting him die while he was brigged? arresting an assistant for doing nothing wrong? he sucks.

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>>152557432
and he wasn't immediately job-banned for being a blight on existence?

>>152557635
>>152557432
did you A-H-E-L-P

>>152557635
nope, also forgot to add that the botanist said that caesar called him a fag while letting him die from poisoning on a brig bed and called him a "dirty weed grower" or some shit like that.

>>152526278
>tfw you've outlasted your metagrudged'min

>>152531716
It really is. He'd have power up a half hour ago if he wasn't autisming

>>152557432
IAA accused botany of injecting space drugs, highly illegal contraband, into food, poisoning people, I had no reason to distrust him, botany was growing mass amounts of ambrosia, clear sign its faggots in charge, he tried to make some bullshit excuses how he didn't do it and ambrosia was for legit medical pills when fuck me up pills were laid in the counter, and then nigger though he was getting medical atention for ODing on space drugs so hard he was puking every 15 seconds and with medbay being abandoned without me having any knowledge of any borgs around to open doors so I could even get the anti tox to do it?

Not happening, both the situation at the time made it clear I had no resources to cure him, he was one of the fags that grew weed to begin with, and that even if I had cured and released him, he would still inject space drugs in food.

And apologies I don't trust a random assistant that likely niggered his way into getting research shit, likely for his own ends. Assistants are not exactly trustworthy, if they truly wanted to do a job, they would pick one and stay as one roundstart or when they joined.

>>152557432
>Botanist who grows weed instead of making food
Deserved to die desu

>>152559417
There was two botanists, one was making food the other was making weed.

>>152541760
>Grab a toolbox
>Get a multi at cargo
>Pulse art storage apc for the unlock wire
>Take the cell
>Go turn on the ghetto bar apc and take the microwave
>Cook your own food.

>>152542172
No. The problem is that different people are here for different things and that rarely lines up. It doesn't help that they don't communicate so fuckass here fills a fridge he wont cook then salt posts when he doesn't get cook valids.

>>152548008
>IBOARD
>PLISSKEWTUNSIR
>GIVEVERLINS
>XDDDD
>Always more newfags and permabanned immigrants flooding faster than they mature into decent people
And that's why we rarely have nice rounds

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>>152545894
Kept lockerspamming my locker until a deathsquad put his pulse rifle in it. Took it, killed him, killed 2 other squaddies, helped kill a fourth, then passed out in pain crit in escape as we left.

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>>152559540
>>IBOARD
>>PLISSKEWTUNSIR
>>GIVEVERLINS
>>XDDDD
what?

>>152545894
One round, I got roped into a ring of boxing matches against some dude who killed my sensei and all of his evil students.
When I finally confronted the big bad, he pulled out an esword that he said was used to kill my sensei.
I punched him in the mouth, took his sword, said a cheesy one-liner and decapitated him. It was fucking hilarious.

>want to play a borg at round start
>bound to asiimov laws

>want to play an ICPS
>not implemented

>>152557290
He does it to greif mate. Remember to keep ahelping him so he racks up notes and warnings until he's gone. If you don't, you're enabling his behavior.

>>152557432
What's his ckey?

>>152560448
Caesar Johnson/Yclat

>Get grifffed hard and only avoid my round getting ruined because of the one person with a brain in their head
>Did enough sketchy shit in general that the admins probably wont care even if the griffer doesn't lie out his ass to stay out of trouble for their deliberate griefing
Worst feeling knowing they'll get away with it.

>>152561317
No, admins won't care if you don't
A H E L P
I T

>>152561440
I thought it was an antag with a voice changer trying to get me assassinated, cause why would a non-antag non-antag murder, and a bunch of other shit happened so I forgot to look at who bought one. I'm looking through the logs right now since end of round showed no voice changers or agent id's were bought and he didn't have a borer or something. If I don't find a script I'll just assume that shit other people buy with an unlocked pda don't show and then look for who coughed one up.

>>152559540
>you share a server with people who post like this

>>152559540
>IBOARD
>PLISSKEWTUNSIR
>GIVEVERLINS
>XDDDD

For real what the fuck are you trying to say?

>>152561624
>why would a non-antag non-antag murder
i mean, it's not like an antag can non-antag murder

>>152561624
>I'm bored
>Please (what) sir
>Give valids

>>152563117
Close, Please crew transfer

>>152563117
Meant for >>152562378

>>152563240
You nigger, there wasn't even an r in there

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>>152563369
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

coders are trying to take away our defficiency power sinks

https://github.com/d3athrow/vgstation13/pull/11516

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>>152566335
>power sinks replaced with memechairs of infinity
Merge this already

>>152566335
>>152567030
Daily reminder that if you pile more people on the memechair of instant pushstruction than they have electrodes you're the boss of the station.

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>>152566335
>Multibuckle wheelchair

>sudden influx of people getting into spriting/coding
FEATURES SOON

>>152567624
YES

>>152567624
STILL NO FUCKING SEC GLOCKS

S E C
P I S T O L S

Coding for this really intimidates me, but I'm gonna try and do my best to help get ICPS into the game

>>152567624
>sudden influx
>one person

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>>152567859
>>152567741
I P C S

Test the waters with adamant slimes will work and set the spawn for diamond alloys to 1 or 2 like you planned in like 15~25 seconds (can probably rng it so farming it can be a bit more of a pain with micro managing your clicks). And for short term stuff where miners can't find diamond 12 minutes in, you can set it to where the orange slime will shit out 1 diamond alloy in a span of a minute or less, but not abundant enough to make shaft miners useless. Hell, if you're concerned about them getting the alloys too early, make it give raw ores and that they'll need to transport those raw diamonds to the shaft engineers to have it processed, making them at least useful. Though, the absent of them, maybe have RnD be able to research into making a portal processor that can be dragged around? I haven't looked into the object for the processor yet so I'm not sure how it'll work but I'll get to it soon once I start understanding how to play RnD.

Perhaps feeding slimes, say, 25u of some food. Different foods shit out different things just to get something going along.

>>152567624
Good thing too, I've had enough.
Reminder to raid other peoples forks for unfinished projects.

>IPCs get added
>Atleast two people named Tim Warner and Dash network will be fighting
Imagine the memes the MEMES

>>152568154
>borg named memes
>can't find robotics on metastation
I need to stop getting so angry at newbies.

I can't help myself.

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>>152568154
>IPCs get added
>Waifus follow around and take pictures of them

>want to get into coding
>dont have the time/too goddamn stupid to do it

I just wanna make spess fun

Are there new verbs for the shoulder and knife holsters?

>>152568096
Wait, slimes eat food? I though they only ate shit that's alive.

Guess Im going to have to ask for some pizza crates or the chef to make me some deep fried enchiladas injected with corn oil or something.

>>152568592
It's a meme, you dip

>>152568591
They have different names, but otherwise they're the same

>>152568650
holster literally does not work for either of them for me

I haven't been able to jack off over my SUPERQUICK draw speed in weeks

>>152568707
Yes, hyperspeed drawing/holstering was intentionally removed
But it wasn't weeks ago so I'm not sure what your problem is

So TV people
Post suggestions/ideas
Will they have organs?
Would nanopaste be an advance trauma kit for them?
Would they have advance lungs and eyes and everything mechanical?
Would flash give a Borg effect?
What if cloning spit out a plate-less mess or wires organs and stuff until you put metal on it?

>>152568938
I haven't played in weeks

Well I guess that's a pretty good change. That shit was kind of retarded otherwise, and now it leaves the people with the best draw being the ones who practice it the most.

Time to HIT THE FIRING RANGE

>>152569453
IPCs should not be cloned. They can be repaired back to 100 health as long as the brain(CPU?) unit is not damaged

>>152569595
>Can't be cloned
Gonna need some nice buffs then famalam

>>152569453
This idea sounds completely retarded, but the color of their screens should reflect their current intent, so anyone can see what they're planning

Vox medbay players back when
I think I prefered birdbay to waifubay

>>152569779
A cloner that is supposed to regenerate biological organisms shouldn't work for machine-based lifeforms. That's just how it works

>>152569779
or they can just be rebuilt

>>152569779
It'll probably be something like they need all their damage fixed and then given a 'reboot' or something to bring them back.

>>152569830
The birds were generally more capable and dedicated to their jobs than any of the waifutards are. I miss Kichi and Rail, at least they stuck around to do their jobs, even if one of them completely sucked at it.

>>152568550
>plenty of people who do code for us
>don't code anything significant

>>152570337
>at least they stuck around to do their jobs
>Rail

>>152513743
Add sec starting with revolvers

Sec allowed to declare anyone non-human when
Sec starting with mechs in the armory when
Sec having all access when
Sec starting with ACJs when

>>152571210
she was usually in viro
and she usually at least tried to cure viruses assuming she hadn't gone braindead

contrast to reica/whorena/tovir/etc who, assuming they even bother with chem/cryo/cloner, fuck off to flirt in the bar right after doing it

doing chem means jack fucking shit if you're not there to help dole it out and heal people

>>152572201
I honestly don't think you even observe ANY of the players your are bitching about.

>complained a months ago as Bartender about fag roleplaying
>try out MD and paramedic

I know see why medbay evolved into the rp waifu fest shithole it is, its so BORING, most of the time you don't have anything to do but to talk to retards near you

I'm sorry for shitting on medbay

>>152572201
Wrong dummie
We only fuck off to order stok/naera crates when it's a super slow day and an occasional assistant comes with a booboo

>>152572981
>bullshitting this much
Okay Whorena, that's nice. You can lie all you want, but the fact of the matter is that any time you're in medbay, 9/10 you're actually sitting around ERPing in the bar with whatever fuckbuddy you have this week.

>>152572893
>implyign there's anything wrong with roleplaying

Fuck off back to Hippie, faggot. RP is what seperates us from being Hippie with slightly better code.

>>152573076
You weren't even replying to me, and this pretty much proves you've never actually watched me in medbay.

Daily reminder the anti-Waifu agenda is literally Rei and 2 others making up lies about waifus never doing their jobs.

They hardly play the game so don't know that in reality most waifus are fine and the real problem is Assistant mainers

>>152573263
I've watched you in medbay plenty
Every fucking time, you either fuck off to the bar to flirt with other faggots, or you waste surgery space and monkeymen with retarded gimmicks

>>152573284
>complain about no heads/sec/medbay/whatever
>always go assistant
>always cause as much trouble for people playing that role as possible
Fuck assistant mains

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>Play on Yog
>Pick miner
>Team up with other miner
>We slaughter numerous legions, goliaths and genocide the whole ashlander tribe.
>Get some upgrades from R&D
>Get ourselves some legion souls implants
>Bro is back on mining station while I get some food from chef
>Bro is taken to labor camp by security for bashing one of them who was destroying walls in mining station
>Cap calls the shuttle
>I decide to bust my bro out
>Pick lava boat from the genocided ashlander tribe
>bust my bro out from prison camp
>2 min left
>we split up
>Bro goes to escape, I go to the shuttle in arivals
>manage to get inside 2s before rogue AI bolts the airlocks
>Bro managed to escape too
>I arrive at the security ship
>They are actually rogue survivors from crashed prison ship
>one of them bash me to crit
>little did he know that I have legion's soul implant
>regenerate, pick up my hyper kinetic accelerator and blast him
>other one panics
>but manage to kill me eventually

Boy that was great round

>>152573367
Nope, thanks for making up shit for the thread.

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6KB, 103x110px

>>152573604
So this isn't fucking off and flirting with other waifushitters then

Interdasting.

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102KB, 654x539px

>>152573076
Wrong person
Also wrong about what morena does
Chill dude just click the red X at the top right and put the keyboard down

>>152573762
Oh no, a thing I did ONCE on a lowpop medbay round where nothing was going on! That entire shift we had about 4 patients come in. Sorry, I have to play the game the way YOU want and I'm not allowed to have any fun!

>>152574080
>being this butt blasted

Everyone on this server is a shitter, you can own up

blatantly waifu-ery should be counted as ERP

>>152574216
I'm not butt-blasted, whoever is posting that I do this all the time seems way more upset than I am. I'm just tired of people spreading lies about me.

>play how I want or get banned

This will kill /vg/ why can't people see that?

>>152575146
it already has

>>152575146
this is true
I'm sorry I said >>152574364
I immediately cringed afterwards realizing that waifus must be gotten rid of through social conditioning not bans

>>152573173
*sigh

>>152575146
Honestly we need an entirely new admin team. The current admins don't play the game, they don't understand the playerbase because of it and aren't coordinated or organized when it comes to adminning the game.

The admins hate the game and players, they're the ones trying to ban people to feel powerful, we need an admin purge.

>>152575607
Didn't we have one last year?

And wasn't the first candidate for it Rei?

>>152575649
But Rei has been removed :^)

>>152575607
>admins don't play the game

then why do they even admin?
sounds like they're power hungry bitches

>>152575803
That's because they are

>>152575649
Rei cried that it was just a joke and Aurx has no spine so he got re-instated. Nuke's Admin Purge was supposed to happen a month ago but he gave up. There are a lot of old admins who just need to go and don't understand the server in it's current state, they come back and shit things up. Rei is a great example of this.