/evn/ - Sour grapes and other excuses edition

hi JP

>>124627697
I hate all of you

>>124627970
we hate you too Taosym

>>124627697
That's the stupidest OP image I've seen in a while, I must say.

Grapes are a shit tier fruit anyway.

I was shitposting that no one cares about music, but I honestly do think royalty-free is good enough for most cases.

Better music is great if you have the right connections and direction to make the most of it. It's certainly worth it if you're commissioning new music from an artist you love and want more stuff from. But it's not something that your EVN needs to succeed, and it can often go completely unremarked.

>>124630408
I wasn't shit posting. I was being 100% completely serious.

Post progress.

Shitposter-kun, where art thou?

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Threadly reminder to NAME AND SHAME (con)artists.

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When is HRP supposed to be finished? Did the writer ever say if he was going to cut back on all the filler?

>>124636834
They said they would, but who knows.

>>124636834
HRP dev here.

There are six writers, each responsible of a route. We've also changed the Act 1 (demo) in hopes of making it more efficient and character driven rather than the "waifu slideshow" it was before. We think it works much better now.

We'd like for the full game to be released around the end of next year or early 2017.

>>124637276
>There are six writers, each responsible of a route
Doesn't that usually turns into a clusterfuck?

>>124637435
It can be, yeah. Thankfully, all of the route outlines have been written and we've all been turning in scenes in a timely manner.

>>124637276
>making it more efficient and character driven
Compared to every one else's shitty, non-efficient, and "waifu slideshow" games here, huh? Just what this thread needed, another dumb ass Dev who thinks they're better than everyone. Just when I thought we were over with this shit last thread, some other asshole comes swooping in their own all mighty glory, better than thou, attitude.

>>124638084
>Compared to every one else's shitty, non-efficient, and "waifu slideshow" games here, huh?
No, compared to their own shitty non-efficient demo that nobody ilked.

>>124638347

> not recognizing a troll

>>124638347
>>124638380
So going against the all mighty HRP dev is trolling now? I thought this was 4chan, a place where you can actually criticize others without being "policed" but apparently ML anon and HRP anon are beyond the touch of mere mortals.

>>124638380
Do you have anything better to talk about? Until then, we may as well respond politely to troll posts.
>>124638615
Tea?

Thanks for openly posting HRP dev. Please take this constructive criticism: if you're going to post updates about Highway Blossoms, post it on the Highway Blossoms site. Vice versa for HRP. I almost missed those adorable chibis/news because I don't check HRP's site, and I'm sure it could also be the case for people who don't check Highway Blossom's site talking about HRP's 3rd dimension.
It's okay if you copy and paste the information and make it relevant to the project, but if you want to have two different blogs, keep them for two different projects.

>>124640106
Ah, yeah. Sorry about that one. I think the logic there was to make a giant grand post. We generally try to keep the two sites separate for the sake organization. From now on, if there's any kind of details that cross over from HB and HRP we'll make sure the info is shared on both blogs.

There will probably be another HB blog within the next few days depending on a few factors. When that happens, you can definitely expect it to be on its respective site.

so I'm working on something that is classed as an /evn/
Where's. good place to find idea guys for the actual story?

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>>124644189
http://writingexercises.co.uk/plotgenerator.php

>>124644734
Great gay romance novel plot.

>>124644734
That sounds cute.

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>>124644952

>>124644734
>>124644952
>60 years old
Too old, bishie factor not high enough.

>>124644189
if you don't even have an idea guy how much 'work' have you actually done?

>An overbearing 23 year-old man
>A decisive 20 year-old woman
>The story begins on a train
>A political demonstration turns into chaos
>It's a story about rivalry
>Your character sets out to change everyone's opinion
Mite be cool.

>tfw this story will never be written
A generous 18 year-old woman
A manipulative 30 year-old woman
The story begins in a cellar
A 30-year old murder case is resurrected
It's a story about loss of innocence
Your character is tested to the limits of physical endurance

>>124646410
Pretty sure I saw a porn like that once.

>>124644952
>>124645506
>two brothers fall in love
>story begins with them fugging in an alleyway
>blood test shows they're not related
>opportunity for a new life together
>the older brother accidentally dislocates his jaw trying to suck the younger brother's massive monster cock
Time to get those fujoshi dollars. Who knew it was this easy?

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>corpse fucking

>>124636834
>When is HRP supposed to be finished?
Never.

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Why do evn's have such shitty art?

>>124650942
Really? Dutch angle?

>>124650942
[something about budget]

>>124650942

You're welcome to learn to draw and work for free to show us how it's be done.

>>124651068
What's wrong with dutch angles?

>>124652005
Extreme dutch angles for no reason are disorienting and create a sense of wrongness which does not fit with romantic moe.

>>124652090
Maybe it's a parallel world where he just found out his imouto really isn't his imouto.

>>124652090

That one alters the composition of the CG to put a bigger focus on the character. If it was straight, you'd have a huge amount of empty space on both sides which would take up 2/3rds of the CG. This way you are focused entirely on the character, which also allows for minimal background details - look how bland they are.

>>124652421
This is part of why widescreen has not been good for VNs. Trying to get rid of empty space is good but in a lot of hands it ends up with the CGs feeling warped, and the bigger focus on the character actually makes her harder to see properly.

>>124652672

This is actually a pretty bland CG, though, unless there's more emotional variations. Maybe just a bad choice on the creator's part.

I hadn't considered the widescreen aspect, though. That's a very interesting point.

>>124636407
Why do you keep posting this when not a single person has fulfilled your request?

>>124653330

It's a good idea, but I suppose there isn't much point if nobody plans to take advantage.

> http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=36013

Hanako poached that derpy faced artist from WC lol

>>124653330
I think it's a meme at this point.

>>124653507
>only brown person is a maid
Hanakogames continues their campaign against marginalized groups. First transphobia, now racism? smdh

>>124653507
What?

>>124654015
I hate to say it but that is marginally kind of messed up.

>>124653507
Why are all yuri games loli shit? What happened to 16+ teenaged/grown women that aren't ugly as sin and made by tumblr? I can't fap to this shit.

>>124653507

I honestly thought ebi-hime had posted this. Is she the writer?

HEY

>>124654015
It isn't like the story takes place in Victorian England or anything...

>>124657027
WHAT A WONDERFUL KIND OF DAY

>>124657517
>POC didn't exist in England

>>124657517
I doubt the game would be that historically accurate that it warranted putting the one brown skinned girl into the slave role and not as a wealthy character.

>>124657517

Not a fan of people altering historical attitudes when they go back and do this. It gives people an incorrect vision of history, and whitewashes many of the attitudes peple once had. It was an age where black people were low on the social ladder, and terrible as it was, to portray it otherwise would be to pretend the problem never existed.

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>>124654295
Don't you fucking dare

>>124657821
In high end Victorian England boarding schools? Sure, mate, whatever helps you get angry at night.

>>124657961
It says she is a maid, not a slave. They don't always equal out that way.

Why are EVN fans so sensitive?

>>124658356
Who are you talking about? Literally only two people are buttmad about the servant, quit making something into a bigger deal than it actually is.

>>124658469
But if we don't make it a bigger deal what are we going to talk about?

Why are all EVN devs SJW scum?

>>124658727

Most of us are young people, with different attitudes to writers in other media, who tend to be older.

That said, are there any attitudes in particular you dislike?

>>124658317
Inb4 none of the girls dress in a way that is appropriate for the Victorian era, the backgrounds all use modern architecture, and lesbians are running around muff diving random people, but yeah lets put the brown girl in her proper station in this accurate historian approved tale.

>>124658992

Ideally they'd go all the way with it, or they'd add in a clear acknowledgement "This tale makes no attempt to be historically accurate."

>>124654015
Don't worry, if you know the original book there are several more brown servants yet to be revealed!

>>124658356
The first person who brought it up intentionally brought it up as a joke because I'd talked about it before as an issue. You just aren't reading enough threads to recognise it.

Also nah, it's too soon to point it out

>>124638084
Why are you constantly trying to start this shit?

I'm making fish sticks right now, what else is everybody eating?

>>124660360
Your mom.

>>124644189
>actually wanting idea guys
Well this is new

>>124660360
Some nice roasted chicken and potatoes.

>>124660352

I think it was a joke.

I hope it was a joke.

>>124660360

Nothing. Drinking black coffee.

>>124660352
It wasn't me. I just hated that particular sentence and then walked away.

>>124660797
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUMDXM1vwd0

>>124660352
I'm not starting shit. I just don't like it when people act all high and mighty.

>>124660885

It seemed pretty fair. He was discussing a way he was trying to improve his own project, not how it relates to anyone elses.

>>124654335
>What happened to 16+ teenaged/grown women

Black Closet?

>that aren't ugly as sin and made by tumblr?

... Sakura Fantasy?

>>124660952

I feel a strange mixture of class and seediness.

>>124661592
Now channel that into your H.

>>124661531
>Black Closet?

Not that anon but I'd say that falls into his next listed complaint.

>>124662039
that was the point of the joke, splitting it up into two lines. keep up.

>>124661680

I rest my tophat on the bedside, tear off my clothes, and insert my dick with grace and aplomb.

"Exquisite" I tell the three dollar Chinese prostitute.

Finished my fish sticks. They were alright.

My new character design is going somewhere nice but there's still a few things that are weird looking to me. Designing nice chara is hard

>>124663223
Post it and maybe you can get some feedback to help you out.

>>124636407
NAME AND SHAME
A
M
E

A
N
D

S
H
A
M
E

>>124663204

Forgot to finish my coffee, now it's cold.

Still gonna drink it.

My artist drew the protag of my story and he's so cute it hurts. It's such a good feeling to see my characters on paper like they are in my head...

One day, I'll have the balls to show you all.

>>124663204
I had risotto with truffle oil.

>>124663793

Ganbarre, mysterious dev-kun.

>>124663793
>It's such a good feeling to see my characters on paper like they are in my head...

It really amazes me how artists I commission can do that. I give them a few refs, a paragraph description, and she comes back with just what I wanted. Sometimes it's more than what I wanted and I didn't know it yet. That's skill

>>124657821
>using POC

>>124664128
Isn't that what they're for, to be used?

>>124664043
Thank you, anon!

>>124664093
It's some magical bullshit. I hope all devs get to experience this feeling with their artist and project.

>>124663865
>truffle oil
The absolute madman.

How come there is such a huge divide of quality between Blind Griffin and BCM (and I mean the new and updated art of BCM)?

>>124665289
Different style guide probably.

>>124663351
With all the shit flinging and insults, I'm not surprised these threads are so barren of people bold enough to post their stuff.

>>124666871

I don't think it's as much that as past a certain point, posting material is going to be spoilers. Anything I'm happy to release I'd do in a blog post anyway, which I might then link here.

>>124658727
>/evn/
>not two /pol/acks ironically shitposting at each other
I know you're here, other guy

>>124663793
That day should be today. It would sure be nice if we actually felt like we could share our stuff without requiring softball sized cojones, and actually get some thoughtful feedback. If you believe in that artist and you love what they've done, what is there to fear?
Even the most avid shitposter should at least recognize and show some respect for the bravery it would take.

>>124667194

I don't really understand what's going on without seeing the context of the rest of the project.

>>124666871
Sadly sometimes even when the person being supposedly insulted knows perfectly well it's a joke and isn't upset about it anons who don't get it get upset on their behalf and we all get progressively grumpier

>>124667261
>show respect
You're new to 4chan, aren't you?

>>124667305
I don't understand what's going on either. I just post images.

>>124667140
I doubt posting a one or two sprites, backgrounds, or songs could be considered spoilers. I mean look at this thread. There is nothing.
And then there's this post
>>124663793

>>124667261
Nah, it's a better idea just to post on a forum where people actually have usernames. People can easily be jerks here or shit on each other's projects without any repercussion whatsoever.

>>124667194
I hope that Shadow Demon has his Shadow Poison maxed, otherwise he's welcome to get reported.

>>124667171
Failed to detect the presence of another one. Oh fuck I just blew my cover.

>>124667506

As a writer, everything I post is a spoiler, so there's that.

>>124665289
I think it's because she didn't want to totally re-do all old work in the new style so she had to create this dumbed down hybrid? Like other anon said her style guides were probably a lot more solid in BG.

>>124667595
On the other hand, if you have usernames you can't say what you think without it being a big deal that others will judge you for.

Really, you want both. Anonymous comments allow for trolls but they also allow for people to say what they think without getting so tangled up worrying about whether they're saying it right that they say nothing at all.

Public personal comments tend to filter for niceness because fewer people want to be a dick with their name attached, but if no one comments about the things they don't like those things can't be fixed.

Ideally you find people you trust to give you good honest opinions in private but not everyone can be ideal.

>>124668124

My team serve that job, though. We're pretty open when we don't like something. Basically, there's actually not that much I'd get out of sharing work here.

>>124667903
I'm going to post my whole prototype here just because I've got no idea how to get people on board other than this.

>>124668297

I admire your bravery, anon.

>>124668273
Not everyone has a team. Or friends. All of yall browsing right now are all I got.

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>>124668567
We secretely love you, anon. Have this fluffy toy man as a reminder.

>>124668784
at least it's not pedobear

>>124668842
are you a cute loli?

i just had sex everyone

>>124669123
Did you pay her with your dev funds?

>>124668784
Thanks senpai.

>>124669105
i eat lolis for dinner

I hate all of you and can't wait to play your games.

>>124667350
Just still optimistic.
I'm not really an /evn/ regular by any means, having just started my own project fairly recently, but I've been browsing 4chan for far longer than I care to admit.

>>124667595
I like hearing what people are really thinking without them worrying about potential repercussions. Of course it'd be nice if that didn't just mean a barrage of "it's shit, you suck", but even that can potentially tell you something about your project, or how you're viewed as a person.

>>124669123
>i just had sex
Oh boy, here we fucking go again. I guess everyone here is a fucking loser virgin then? How full of yourself do you have to be to believe that you're the only one gettin' the pumpum here? Fuck off you presumptuous twat.

>>124669352

Are you that fellow from the other day who was talking about the empire VN?

>>124667595
Forums fucking suck. They all tiptoe around their words, and are always polite and encouraging even if they really think your project is shit. Never give real criticism, just "wow, that's great!" or "good job!" Or they never say anything. I'd choose this place over a forum any day.

>>124669368

I still can't tell if you're joking.

>>124669615
Try harder.

>>124669123
Prepare for a life of misery from now on.

>>124669590

When does this place ever give an in depth dissection of a VN, though?

>>124669883
Post yours and I'll get deep inside it.

>>124669441
Nah, but I have posted a few screens and a quick sketch from the project I've been working on a few threads back and am currently following several anon's advice, one of which is to color my art in order to show my dedication and make it more presentable.
You guys seemed helpful enough to me, despite these bouts of funposting.

It can't. Give it more subjects to dissect. It's been pretty much shitposting about the same projects/games over and over again.

>>124669883
Lots of times. It's just that recently nobody has been posting anything or asking for critique. It's all filled with vague statements of "Typed 1k words today" or people arguing/talking about other peoples visual novels that have yet to come out.

the sex was good

>>124670203
>the sex was good
Here. We. Fucking. Go. Again.

What kind if EVNs sell?

>>124670280

Chill, mate.

>>124670438

Those with tits.

>>124670629
But BL doesn't have tits.

>>124670756
BL doesn't sell.

>>124670756

Not with that attitude!

>>124670975
I'm assuming you were responding to >>124670934
but it's far funnier the way it is now.

Do culturally diverse EVNs sell more?

>>124671510
Not really. If they're diverse as in the characters are japanese/white? Then yeah. Black/indian/etc? Not really.

>>124671510

If they an un-diverse size for tits (spoiler: huge).

>>124671510
Do they have big tits?

>>124671510
Do they have little tits?

Has /evn/ created a vn together yet?

>>124672924
>has anyone in /evn/ created a vn yet?
ftfy

>>124672924

There was talk during the yuri jam, but I never saw anything.

>>124672924
>>124673037
Yes, for the yuri jam. It was posted before, I don't have the link anymore.

>>124672753
>>124672920

Boat people about to be sent to Poland.

>>124670438
Tits, or gimmicks, or ones that are actually good.

>>124673037
>>124673083
Did anyone play the games from yurijam? There looks to be over 30.

Man purrfectly ever after has the most nonsensical story even for otome standards but that art is so nice

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>>124674768
Most were really bad but there was a princess one and a brothel rpg thing that people liked. There's also this one but it was pretty terribly written.

>>124675342
name?

>>124675342
How badly written? Grammar, story idea, what?
>>124675408
Fruit Punch!!!

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Why are boobs so hard to draw

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>>124675857

>>124674768
A couple have been discussed in the yuri games threads on /u/, try https://archive.loveisover.me/u/thread/1909819/

>>124675854
>How badly written? Grammar, story idea, what?
Yep hit all the bad points. Honestly it's free to play and on itch so go see for yourself.

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>>124674768
I downloaded Syrup and the Ultimate Sweet, lost interest in the text in five minutes, and just looked through the assets. It's really cute.

>>124676840
>just looked through the assets
you and me both, senpai.

>>124676840
I wish the dialog font had been a little more readable

It's only 2 am, ya fuckin' lightweights. No sleepin' allowed. Wake up!

>>124679675

It's 6pm. I'm busy writing.

>>124679910
Fix your time foreigner, it's 2:08 here in the U S OF A aka the only time that matters.

>>124679675
... Is it common practice to stay up late? I personally can't stand it. I wake up groggy and it affects everything I do the next day.

>>124680219
I stay woke to 3 am, then get up 9 am, go to class then night shift work, then get home, repeat. I don't think it's extremely common but I know there's some others who are similar to my schedule.

>>124680219

Was going to bed at 1 and waking up at 7am this year. Drank four coffees a day, though.

On break I usually sleep at 4am and wake at 12. Easier to work when its quiet.

Allahu Akbar

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>>124683225
As-salamu alaykum, fellow refugee.

>>124685081
Wa-Alaikum-Salaam. How are you, brother?

>>124686471
Pretty fine. Asked the local imam to store my AK somewhere safe while the police was searching my house. He actually did it, the absolute madman!
Praise be upon Allah and his worthy followers.

>>124687241
Takbir!

>>124674815
Cassian and Yoshino are the best boys.

Bring me back to life

>>124667261
Last time I posted about my project, it got reamed because of a fuckawful summary, etc. It was deserved, and I learned from it, but I'm not ready to post about my thing again until I can demonstrate that the summary stuff is better along with everything else.

>>124667171
>>124667812

I was sleeping bae, sorry

>>124691901

Not much you can really tell from a summary, sadly.

>>124692419
Yeah, but it especially doesn't help when your summaries are shit and 2deep4u nonsense.

Hoping to have a demo out by mid 2016, so everything else (summaries etc) will be updated by then.

>>124691901
That's the thing though. It's better you learn from it getting reamed back then instead of being oblivious to any faults and progressing past the point of no return, only for it to get dumped on later when it's far more difficult to fix and your emotional investment in it is much higher.

>>124692527

Impressive timeframe. How large is the project?

>>124676030
the sakura whatever artist needs to learn this badly

so fucking tired of seeing weightless balloon tits

>>124696602
Agreed, huge and heavy tits are the best.

>still no otome with manly men

>>124701473

Make it youself, anon. Seize the day!

>>124692191
I guess we our worlds don't meet, anon. I'm about to sleep.

>>124702045
>tfw not even a dev

>>124702045
That would be wish fulfillment desu.

>>124702163
We can make an arrangement and go to bed together.

/evn/ a waifu
/evn/ a laifu

>>124705908
no laifu

Why do EVN groups seem so distant from each other? I thought the idea of bonding together as affiliates and the like would be common in such a small niche, but I could only really find two groups of really close studios/circles. Even the Sekai groups seem to have massive distances in support between them.

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With this one, we are now at 10/24 CGs (so a little under a half).

Progress in general is slow because of the holidays, but I'm planning to have the demo out before the end of the month & have the artist work on some additional expressions (two or three for all characters).

I also convinced a help of mine to help the make music decisions, so best case scenario the demo will have custom music already.

>>124713250
What do you mean by distant exactly?

A lot of the old farts are at least friendly with each other.

>>124713250
Such is the nature of the internet. A lot of the starters are doing it because they've read a VN, not because they're friends with devs.

>>124714032
The savior of BL!

>>124717029
Inb4 someone takes it seriously.

>>124713250
For me, there's simply nothing to talk about. My game is progressing at a glacial pace. As do theirs, in fact I haven't heard any updates from them in a while.

>>124713250
>affiliates
The rush to steam has caused a lot of people to give up on bothering to sell direct at all, much less to let other devs affiliate with them.

Put all your eggs in one basket! That never goes wrong!

>>124713250
I don't know about other devs, but the teams I've been in have given precisely zero shits about what other VNs were up to. There's no real benefit to supporting someone else's game apart from potential networking.

>>124644734
holy shit, that's the "plot" of the final moments of the documentary "an honest liar"!

>>124718813
There's a documentary about hot and steamy old man sex?

>deleting dev blogs i follow from my bookmarks after no updates for almost a year
What a shame.

Devs asking for free art under the guise of a "contest" is equal to devs asking you to pay to design their game as a Kickstarter "reward"

>>124722749
What?

>>124723129
He's one of those neurotics who think voluntarily submitting art to something you like for a chance at a prize is getting tricked into working for free.

>>124723340
There's no prize, it's the QS contest

>>124723475
What is QS? What the hell is going on? I feel like I woke up in a different dimension, I'm so goddamn confused. I feel like I don't even know my family anymore. Who is this?

>>124723340
Remember people bitching about the voltage constest?

>>124723475
>So, what do you win?
>We will select our favourite piece of fan art and feature it in the game and credit you - the magnificent artist!! Don't worry about how, we will work that out
Oh okay, that's legitimately lame.

>>124723625
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewtopic.php?f=46&t=36016&sid=8901bd8cc1ad4ac668e75e0b85887f60

>>124724136
>Please share your piece of art on any social media you please with a link to this KickStarter <3

These guys

>>124723883
I think calling it a contest is pretty weird if it's just a call for guest art, but yeah it's not actually weird to do it. You can't force an artist to draw for you.

>https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cccn/quantum-suicide-friendship-courtship-hardship-spac

Speaking of which, am I the only one surprised this is struggling? I thought the pitch was rock solid and the demo was a little disjointed but not horribly so. Hustle cat got funded and that game looked terrible and the demo was one of the worst I'd read.

>>124725052
The whole calling it a contest thing is what makes it lame, not that they want guest art.

>>124725052
Hustle Cat got funded because ~diversity~

http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewtopic.php?f=62&t=33903&p=395494#p395494

demonicbagel is at it again

>>124725052
It could be that people like it, but they don't think it's worth 30k.

>>124726001
This nigga can't afford two fucking dollars

>>124726481
I'm seriously considering opening a thread about people begging on LSF.

>two my chara designs came together just like I pictured in my head
>one is actually a little better than i pictured via flukes
>third is weird and doesn't even match the others and is taking me three times as long to sketch

What the hell brain QQ

>>124726001
2. Fucking. Dollars.

>>124725052
$20k for a group that has never made anything and you are asking if I am surprised? I'm rather flabbergasted other groups with no experience raised so much.

>>124726001
Guy had a fundraiser for his indepence?

>>124726724
If you don't, I will.

>>124726001
I was going to make a joke about 40 of his 42 posts being begging, but look at his post history:
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/search.php?author_id=30372&sr=posts

>>124726724
Do it. I'd make a throwaway account and ream him a new anus if I wasn't such a coward.

>>124726930
"too expensive"

>>124727309
Maybe s/he's just a poorfag?

>>124727981
There's no poorfag who can't afford a couple of dollars, unless they are literally homeless. Even people who live in the ghetto have enough to buy McD's.

>>124727981
I don't think anyone who can't afford two dollars should be worrying about making VNs at all, they should be trying to find shelter and food.

>>124727981
Then why do they have a pc and internet?

>>124727981
I live in a third world country and even I have $2

>>124727981
I mean...s/he could do royalty free, trade, or a call for project partners. Their current method is kind of rude towards others.

>>124727098
What do you consider a good amount for an unexperienced group?

>>124728870
It's especially bad because he goes almost exclusively to threads where people are trying to get hired. They have no options but to reply to him and look like dicks/cheap or ignore him and let that begging stain their thread forever.

I contacted a mod about it, this is fucking ridiculous.

>>124729284
>I contacted a mod about it, this is fucking ridiculous.
He's just going to say demonicbagel is contributing to public discussion. Thats the only reason I can see why him, firecat, and jiro horikoshi aren't banned for trolling and derailing.

I find it funny lemma has this huge warning message underneath the reply function about leaving worthwhile comments and it still attracts swill

>>124730143
I hope you're wrong, because if you're not, LSF is only going to get worse.

>>124730657
Even worse.

These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real.

>>124734161
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

>>124734552
(caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

>>124730657
And yet no other forum has survived more than a year.

>>124737392
That's kind of winning first at the Special Olympics, though.

Update on >>124729284

The mod practically told me it was fair game to call demonicbagel out so long as the discussion is civil and sticks to facts.

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>>124738726
This gonna be good.

>>124739034
I'm going to try contacting him directly first on a PM. You know, like what he should be doing.

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original character do not steal

>>124725052

Hustle Cat had more friends in high places. They're backed by Date Nighto and were getting shilled by fucking everyone, including Christine Love.

>>124742593
Her left hand looks kind of weird angled down like that. I think it'd look better if it was rotated up a bit.

How much will the sc2vn sequel raise? Over or under, place your bets now.

>>124725052
Undead Darlings didn't make it either - there's more to KS than having a decent pitch and art

>>124725052
The characters all look kind of chubby rather than the cutesy look they were shooting for.

Yes yes, chubby is/can be cute, blah blah, you know what I meant.

>>124742593
Stolen. I'm going to call her Emilia and she is mine.

>>124727981
If they're a poorfag, they have better things they should be doing with their time than begging for free work.

>>124748606
but if I beg for free shit and then resell that free shit, i will have made a profit!

>>124729243
I'm one of those old school people who doesn't give KS dollars to people who haven't a couple games under their belt, even if they are just small ones with cruddy self-done art or bad story. Asking what I consider a good amount to be is a bit pointless. The correct answer is that it should be your estimated expenses plus about 15-25% because estimates are always wrong.

As for why I don't donate to inexperienced people... There's a thousand monsters lurking in development. Ask anyone who has been making these for a long while. I like to know that the person in-charge knows what is required and how to react when it inevitably goes wrong. The larger the project (and this one is massive), the more stuff that will go wrong. There's a reason most people never make it past their first game or two.

>>124693117
Absolutely true, and I'm thankful for it. I wholly expect that aspects of my game will get reamed again when I put it online, but I'll at least be able to tell myself "Well, you didn't fuck up as bad as last time."

As for emotional investment, I don't think it can get much higher. I'm at the point where I can take criticism without having a mental breakdown over it because I love it so much I WANT it to be the best it can be, and I'm happy to read and consider criticism, even if it stings like a bitch sometimes.

>>124694192
I'm one of those idiots with a fuckhuge project (common route's gonna be somewhere near 100k, I have half that currently). I'm guessing around 500k, but if it's less that's fine. I do have three smaller projects under my belt so I'm feeling pretty confident about this actually getting done.

The demo's going to be 60kish, judging where I am in the timeline and what I have so far. I do have a buffer worked in to account for any delays there might be, so maybe it'll be early 2016 instead!

>>124744695
For me it's more that the faces don't fit the bodies. The men all look like their heads have been sunk and the bodies inflated and some of the girls do too. It's OK if the whole body, including the face, looks consistent in roundness, but not in this case. It's a bit like when Deji draws men and it looks like she beheaded one of her girls, gave them a fake sharpie beard and slapped their head on some guy's body.

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>probably one of the better EVNs out there
>the ending is really fucking sudden and everything from the first word to the last CG would just be "chapter 1" in a real VN
SC2VN was such a disappointment.

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>tryin' to draw
>it all comes out tumblr style
>tfw

>>124756410
Read books by Burne Hogarth.

>>124755540
>a real VN
Did you mean "obnoxiously long and full of padding?" SC2VN could've been longer, but I'm glad it wasn't. It was a short, sweet game that wasn't exhausting to read.

>>124756505
This.

I've been waiting for an announcement from the devs about a sequel but it has been radio silence since their release. A shame, it's one of the projects that I'd really love a sequel for.

>>124725052

Part 1 of review:

Several flaws are immediately apparent. The Japanese voice acting consists of single words or short phrases that match the tone of each statement. However, it is extremely distracting to read a phrase only to have something completely different spoken aloud.
Attempting to remedy this, I opened the menu to switch off voice acting. Unfortunately, the options tab merely takes me back to the main menu. I saved my game and did so, whereupon I found there was still no options menu on the main menu, and no load button. I restarted the game and loaded my old file. As the menu is a Ren’py default, this is an especially egregious oversight.
There is no transition between sprites, making changes feel unnatural. No extra effort has been put into sprite direction – or any direction, for that matter – aside from the occasional CG.
The overall visual presentation is mixed – the UI and backgrounds are superb. Unfortunately, they only serve to make the flat, almost unshaded sprites look worse. AI especially suffers from overenthusiastic sprites which don’t match her VA. CGs are a little better – the two that I saw. The first was thirty seconds in and included a panty shot, which feels cheap and insulting. Sprite changes are also rare, meaning characters are often left standing with expressions which don’t match the text.
Music is unobtrusive. There is very little else to say. It does typically suit the mood of each scene.

The writing is as devoid of tone as the sprites. The VN opens with… nothing. A girl has invaded your cabin, and you start playing video games. Dialogue is uninteresting, and straight away I am given no reason to care about Shizuka or the AI. The video game they play, which would have been a good chance to provide some exposition about the ship and crew, as well as the protagonist and Shizuka, is instead rendered pointless.

>>124757734

The protagonist talks to themself. While ostensibly this is to provide exposition, this could have been accomplished by an interior monologue without leaving the character behaving extremely unrealistically. No story is presented in the first few scenes, leaving me wondering why I am reading. The ship and its mission are not described, leaving it an extremely bland and uninteresting setting.
The protagonist is sleeping with one character – an interesting development, although the lack of descriptive language and thought renders this as uninteresting as the rest of the VN. The protagonist also offers no emotional investment in this relationship.

The crew gather for dinner. One man has his name replace with “<Corrupted>” in the UI – an interesting way to use the VN medium convention to imply something is off with him. This is one of the few praiseworthy aspects of the demo.

Seconds later, with no warning, AI goes nuts and tells us we will soon be in “The Deletion Game.” While it’s nice to finally have some plot, the mood afterwards is almost irritation about the announcement, making it difficult to be interested or frightened. It’s unusual that the characters accept the notion that one of them will soon be dead, but the lack of emotion makes it extremely difficult for the reader to care.

>>124757880

The demo ends on a cliffhanger in which the protagonist is stabbed by a doppelganger of the love interest/captain. The voice acting becomes utterly comical when a scream is voiced as a whispered “ie.” (“no”). Nice to have something interesting happening, but the demo ended here. A strange move to end it just as it was starting.

My replay revealed little – making different choices sent me to some other filler scenes. The only thing of note was that I discovered skip mode is slower than clicking through, and shows either a sloppy lack of attention to detail, or a lack of programmer/director.

Frankly, given the number of BGs and assets present in the VN, I think it’s extremely unimpressive this was the total length of the demo, and that what is there is bland. The writing is amateurish, and while the style is serviceable, the lack of awareness of how to draw in the reader to the setting, set up a story, and write interesting emotion and character are what ultimately kill the VN.

From a personal perspective, putting the voices in Japanese is a silly, pandering decision which makes no sense in a setting which seems (based on the demo) to have nothing to do with Japan.

Overall: Poorly paced, unemotional, uninteresting writing. Crude sprites. Beautiful BGs, good UI. Extremely basic direction, crude engineering.

>>124758010

Having played the VN, I then read the rest of the KS page.

The number of BGs is actually extremely high for what was needed. That THIS was the length of the demo is an honestly pitiful effort, that does nothing to inspire confidence in the ability to deliver FIFTY HOURS of content.

I’m honestly almost mad that so much beautiful BG art is being wasted. The writer is really the weak link, and needs to seek further training. Finding a proper director/engineer is also crucial.

I think they need to step back and look at what they’re doing. I don't think they have offered enough to receive what they are asking.

>>124739726
Progress report: heard back from him, came across as extremely passive-agressive and full of excuses but apparently is going to take down his ad or modify it.

No idea if he's going to continue to publicly beg on threads, but the mod I talked to messaged the rest of the mod team, so they're aware of what's going on. I gudss it's a waiting game now.

>>124757734
>The Japanese voice acting consists of single words or short phrases that match the tone of each statement. However, it is extremely distracting to read a phrase only to have something completely different spoken aloud.
This isn't a flaw, it's a matter of preference. I quite like partial voice acting.

>>124759092

Partial voice acting doesn't mean completely different text and voice, though.

>>124759404
Except it usually does. e.g. a character's line is "You're such an idiot" but the voice clip just says "Oh, you...", or the clip is laughter while the line doesn't actually have textual laughter in it.

>>124759092

To each their own, then. Hearing Japanese phrases which mean something completely different to what's in the text box was, to me, jarring. Often these phrases did not match the tone of what was written, or the look of the characters, which was also distracting.

It wouldn't have been a problem if I could turn it off, but that wasn't an option.

I'm also curious as to tour opinion on having it i Japanese in an EVN.

>>124759714
>I'm also curious as to tour opinion on having it i Japanese in an EVN.

Completely unecessary and makes it feel weebish.

>>124758282
>extremely passive-agressive
Just like in his guilt tripping public posts.

gj anon for taking action

>>124759714
>I'm also curious as to tour opinion on having it i Japanese in an EVN
Weeb as hard as you want to, man. I did look up one of their "professional" voice actors and all they've done is doujin nukige.

>>124757610
we want to make a sequel. just need to make sure all parties involved can be on board.

Somebody talk about their main character.

What's their goal in your visual novel? Their likes/dislikes? What makes your character special?

>>124644189

I think maybe you could just post an example of the work that you have done? I am sure there are many people looking for contributors.

Personally, I am a writer and a planner looking for visual artists/programmers. It might be because I am new to these threads and viewing things from only my own perspective, but I sort of assumed that artists were the valuable commodity and that writers were a dime a dozen.

For those with experience, is that the case? I want to put together a team, but I feel like I'm bringing sand to the beach.

>>124765789

Bad writers are dime a dozen, good ones are no less rare than good artists.

>>124764752
He was sent on simple mission to prevent the quiet world war from reducing humanity's numbers by orders of magnitude. However, by the time he was able to start working on it there was little left to save.
Dreams of what could be had he not volunteered.
Dislikes undecisiveness.
Likes opera.
Is the final solution to the story, the answer to every question present at the end of the story.
Is not on the list of protagonists.

>>124765789
Well, most people tend to not give a shit about writing (sadly). Therefore good artists are seen as more valuable (specifically background artists). What do you plan to write? Do you have a rough draft? Because people are less likely to join a team if you don't have at least a finished first draft, too many people and group just fall apart before ever finishing. Having a draft finished makes you look more serious.

>>124765789
I have been looking for writers for a while and it has been rather rare to find any writers, good or bad. Most of them are off playing director. Sprite and CG artists are a dime a dozen. It's a flooded market with a lot of talent for some low costs. Background artists are hit or miss. I've had points they were impossible to find, I've had points where I had a couple dozen choices.

>>124766470

>most people tend to not give a shit about writing

Wrong. ctrl+f SC2VN in this very thread.

>>124766641
One is not most.

>>124766830

People give a great many shits about writing, it's just you can't show off good writing like you can good art.

"Here's a CG. Here's the writer's description of a sunrise."

>>124766284
Sounds interesting, is this taking place in the far future or an alternate present? Is he some sort of special ops?
>Dreams of what could be had he not volunteered.
What does this mean? Did he miss out on a normal life because he was forced to work on the mission? Or did he unknowingly cause the mission to fail? What makes the main character so special that he was thought to be able to make a big difference in a world war?

>>124766641
And Katawa Shoujo is the most popular evn, more popular than SC2VN, so what's your point? I have also seen bad writing in many other popular evn's and the writing is less than satisfactory. From what I have witnessed it seems that compared to art, writing is not as important to the masses.

>>124767464
Katawa shoujo is also well written

>>124767464

You're forgetting KS had decent art, and was actually quite well written.

>>124766470
How do I get into background art? Someone tell me the way and I'll pay you guys back in 3 years.

>>124764752

MC is a Mage in his second year of college, trying to make the grades to become the apprentice to an extremely powerful wizard (who seems to loathe the MC).

He likes teasing people, telling jokes, playing pranks, drinking, philosophy, studying magic, and hanging out with a small but very close group of friends. He also likes art, poetry, philosophy, fashion, musicals, and nerdly pursuits. He likes a girl in his class, Alice. In fact, he's had a crush on her forever. But he dumped her two weeks ago. By text message.

He dislikes extremely serious people, mountain climbing, boats, strenuous physical activity, and threats to his security (he is paranoid). He especially dislikes Lynn, the smartest girl in the class who is also gunning for his apprenticeship (a brattier Hermione with twintails).

His sense of humor makes him a special character, since he constantly nicknames and teases nearly everyone he meets. He's also extremely self-deprecating to the point of it being called self-defecating, he is very well aware of his own flaws and makes jokes about himself as well. He interacts with other people in a way that I think will be fun to read and while he can have awkward moments, he is pretty good at navigating social situations.

Of course, there's also his paranoia. Late in his teenage years he was forced into a ritual where there could only be one survivor, a sort of survival game. He won. Hooray. Because of this, he suffers from small amounts of PTSD, moderate amounts of guilt, and a huge dose of paranoia (the fear that he could be dragged back into hell at any moment).

>>124768057

Try searching lemmasoft, I'm sure there'll be tutorials. Alternatively find Tempus/Jake Bowkett on twitter/lemmasoft and ask his opinion. He's usually friendly and there aren't many people who'd be more qualified to answer.

Legit though, can we get over the idea that people can't tell good writing from bad? People might not know WHY writing is boring, but they can tell when it is really easily.

>>124767618
>>124767703
>well written
Uh, if you say so...

>>124767205
True that, plus most people won't bother going through your bibliography, as it takes loads more time than an imgur album. That doesn't change the fact that most EVNs are still written by dilettantes at best.

>>124769003
They know their tastes but not why writing is bad. Yes, it's obvious.

>>124769003
It's not that people can't tell I think, it's just that people will put up with a lot of shit just for waifus.

>>124769047
>most EVNs are still written by dilettantes at best.
When are EVN writers considered pros?

>>124769207
When they are making a living from their writing.

>>124768504
How is magic treated in this world? Is everyone born with it, or is it just a select few? Why does mc want to become an apprentice of the powerful wizard/why does he want power? What was the point of the ritual? Who was in charge of it and does mc want revenge? Who is in charge of the country the mc is in, magic users or normal people? If someone is "too powerful", what happens? Are people with too powerful magic levels locked away/culled due to being dangerous? If your world has normal people, how do they feel about all of the magic users?

>>124766470

I am working on this:

>>124768504

Basically it follows the MC who is at a college of magic, in his second year, as he tries to qualify for an apprenticeship with the most powerful wizard in the academy. Unfortunately, he is not the only one gunning for it. In order to qualify he has to both have the highest grades and complete a special project (all of his proposals have been rejected so far).

Two months ago he was dating the girl of his dreams (Alice). She comes from a family where time magic is heavily practiced and she has the ability to see two minutes into the future at any point. He ends up breaking up with her shortly prior to the beginning of the story via text message (he tries in person but she keeps doing outrageous things to avoid being dumped). To spoil the twist, she traveled back in time at the beginning of the story to warn the MC about the events of their second year in college. Unable to cope with memories from both timelines, Alice's memories of the other timeline had to be erased, which leaves her sort of a wreck.

Meanwhile a series of ritual murders begins...

I have a few plot branches from there and my outline is done for a few of them, but my earlier drafts seem to rip off Tsukihime a bit much so I need to re-write them.

>>124769008

I guess we had this discussion last thread, but still. Compare Quantum Suicide up there to KS. The difference in quality is enormous.

I remember this one WiP with a professional writer on its helm. Like, four novels under his belt. The only thing I remember was it's set during winter with a heroine with a beta boyfriend visiting their (dead) grandmother ('s grave?)

>>124769730

I'm going to rely on a few plot details from >>124769873 , but here's the answers.


- Magic is only inherited by a select few, though the gift springs up in randoms from time to time. All randoms are quickly found and brought into the fold. Governance of magic users is done by the Regional Counsel and Global Counsel. Generally, Regional Counsel have full jurisdiction over their territories (mostly by continent) and the Global Counsel is only used to handle agreements between Regions or to resolve crises. Some human governments are aware of magic and a few arrangements have been worked out (mostly involving restrictions on wizards creating gold and fucking up the economy and mutual secrecy arrangements).

- The MC wants the apprenticeship for two reasons, security and investigation. He wants to find out if anyone is left from the organization behind the ritual, who they are, if he is being watched, if his family is safe.

- The MC does not really want revenge, he wants to know what the point of it all was. The point of the ritual was to create a contract between a person and a "dragon". In this case, the "dragon" is more like an Eldritch abomination than a traditional fantasy dragon. The point of doing this was to harness the magic of the dragon to maintain a barrier between our dimension and the "other" dimension, which is full of unpleasant things.

The intention was to use the game so that a leader from the Counsel would make the contract by killing the final survivor of the game. However, the MC and dragon had already made a contract at that point and all of the ritual's immediate staff are promptly killed.

However, the other members of the Counsel are aware that the MC survived the ritual, and will be needed to create the barrier, eventually.

>>124768057
Start studying landscape art. There's a lot out there.

>>124769207
No writer is ever a pro. We just keep trudging along as we chase that elusive perfect story.

>>124769730

- There are quite a few extremely powerful magic users, they are required to ask for permission if they want to expend large amounts of magic or do anything crazy. They will be warned if they do not ask for permission and are detected doing anything too out there and will be fined/forced to make reparations for damages caused or for memory wipes that need to be performed due to their actions. If they go too far, there are magic users tasked as enforcers (like the wizard the MC wants to apprentice for). Sealing is sometimes possible, but execution is generally the accepted punishment for conducting rituals which result in massive loss of human life. There is a bit of lee-way for individual deaths, depending on regional agreements with local governments.

- Normal people are mostly unaware of magic and kept so. The main point of the counsel is to keep this secrecy and to govern magic users. It also performs some other governance functions and collaborative research projects, but mostly it's there to keep order. Some normal people are aware and are not wiped, most of whom work in government agencies, usually associated with the economy or intelligence departments. They collaborate and work out arrangements in the interest of the economy and national security. For most of them, magic is just another thing to be regulated and monitored. Some states do have magic users of their own, but magic users tend to be a bit more loyal to the counsel than any nation state.

>>124638615
There is a difference between criticism and trying to start shit.
You're clearly trying to start shit.

>>124772568
Shit's gotta come out sometime.

>>124668784
how have you not been banned?

>>124771329
>>124772330
Good luck on finding a team dude, I look forward to your game. You decided on a title yet?

>>124773487
Who is he? Am I missing something?

>>124767464
Distant future, around three hundred years ahead, although the technological progress in most of the world is pretty much frozen at 2050's level due to a catastrophic war the man was supposed to fix.
He's special ops all right, he was trained and educated for this very mission for a tiny bit shorter than a decade, that's also how he missed out on most of life. Imagine becoming a spacecraft pilot in ~2040 as colonisation of the inner planeta of the Solar System is about to become reality, and orbital construction is booming. The job's a dream; you get money, prestige, and a sense of purpose all in one package, and bits and pieces of troubling news that leak into the employing agency through its military contractors don't bother you one bit when down there on the surface there's fame, respect, and open doors waiting for you. Then after a couple of years you exchange the good life for a better cause, as the bad news proves to be reality, and past that point you have no time for a humane life between training, tests, learning, tests, sleep, training, tests, etc. It's for a good cause, you believe, and keep at it with clenched teeth, but in the end it turns out to have been for nothing. That's his story.
He didn't ail the mission. See, the whole reason the world war had gone bad was the abuse of technology. Nukes and chemicals can't hold a candle to WMDs of a slow and invisible sort. How about birth defects? Can you officially blame their increased amount on a weapon when the reason can be ecological? How about a climbing birth rate in an overpopulated region? Bad weather hurting crops? Chronic depression? The worst part is, these symptoms take time to manifest, and when they do, the results aren't too obvious by design, so military scientists extrapolations for whatever they're trying to affect, and then activate more weaponry to observe the development vector sooner. Every major military is doing this, and none want to admit the weapons' existence (cont.)

reminder that my evn will be the best evn and i had sex

>>124774478
(cont.) publicly. This leads to the next problem of decyphering which vectors are caused by the tested weaponry, which are the unexpected side effects, and which are the foreign tests, while the ordinary man watches the world steadily slide down the drain. The group that signed MC on developed a countermeasure to shut these weapons down worldwide, and he himself was needed as a failsafe to control the countermeasure manually should anything go wrong. He was supposed to sleep tight, most likely forever, a sacrifice unknown, but, as in every story, something went very wrong, and he woke up hundreds of years later into a world with Mercury covered in power plants, floating cities high in the atmosphere of Venus, numerous populated stations in orbit over Earth, common settlements on the Moon and Mars, and gas mining operations over Jupiter and Saturn. The total population of the brave new world turned out to be in the lower hundreds of millions.
He never failed the mission. He never had the chance to complete it when the time was right, and whoever pulled him out of sleep must've been playing a cruel joke on him.

>>124774308

Thanks.

Wow, I really thought people were just going to tell me it was shit and to give up or something. Thanks for not doing that.

>>124766029
Every bad writer thinks they are one of the good ones. They rarely put their writing out in front of experienced peers like artists have to, so they never get told how bad it is until they put out the game.

>>124774454
He broke moot's monetization plans. Save that pic as 4chan.hta, run it, and you'll get a free pass.

>>124776709
Nice try buddy ol friend pal o mine. Not today.

>>124774478
>>124776167
Dude this is some cool shit, you already finished writing everything/in progress of game making yet? When should I expect this to come out?

>>124776478
Bruh, I'm writing a story about a bunch of teenagers running around Miami calling each other faggots, it wouldn't really be right for me to call other people's stuff shit lmao. But besides that, magic stories always interested me, so your story is my kinda shit senpai.

Other /pol/ dude you there?

>>124777574
>Dude this is some cool shit, you already finished writing everything/in progress of game making yet? When should I expect this to come out?
Hahaha.
Haha.
Ha...

>>124778346
Of course I am, it's 2015 after all.

>>124778635
2016 Elections VN?

>>124778932
A garbage can sim with cosmetic choices only? :^)

>>124779454
Satire VNs when?

>>124779527
Never, the evn community doesn't posses enough brain cells to make an actually funny satire on politics.

So we're stuck with SJW narratives and stuff some devs are pushing?

>>124780398
What makes a game sjw? Just having non white/not straight characters?

>>124780842
>What makes a game sjw? Just having non

Humans are monsters? Consent?

;_; trying my best to keep the thread alive via shitposting.

>>124781585
the only true art is all rape all the time

>>124769730
O Mighty questions dude, can you please ask some generic ones for those of us who are stuck?

>>124777574
It's never coming out.

>>124782415
You gotta give me something to work off of senpai. Write a short summary of your plot/story and I'll ask you some stuff about it.
>>124782590
;_;

>>124776681
It also requires far more time, patience, and dare I say skill, to critique writing than it does for art. Anyone can look at an image and go, "Wow, that hand is fucked up.", but even simply noticing a problem of that caliber in writing can be tricky unless you're really dedicated.

>>124779985
UAB had its fair share of satire and parodies. Even if it was roasting people you had no clue existed, it still managed to be fairly funny about it.

>>124784041
Sorry if it's not your cup of tea, but tysm for any questions.

MC was a tightrope walker in a circus that went bankrupt and was abandoned by it's ringmaster. Now she lives in the desert with the other former circus performers. However, the oasis they were staying in has dried up, so everyone is parting ways. Most people are leaving the desert, but she's going to journey through the desert to get to the moon. When she was still in the circus, a kid showed her a book that had a picture of someone that looked a lot like her standing on the moon. She got to keep the picture but not the story that went with it, so she wants to go see the moon to find out about the person in the picture.

>>124785101
Also, Huniepop is high literature.

>>124785282
I will fight you

>>124785438
Do it for the thread.

File: CG1a.jpg (153KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

153KB, 800x600px

Newbie here. I've never done commission before. How much should I charge for 1 CG if the quality's like this?

>>124787056
I'd pay 50 or 60 bucks for something like that.

>>124785271
What time period does this take place in? Is it fantasy/sci fi (meaning, is her dream of going to the moon realistic)?

If the circus went bankrupt, how did the members survive without the ringmaster/a salary? What country is this taking place in?

About the oasis, is there a city/town around the oasis, or other residents who had taken up residence at the oasis spot? If so, how did they react to the oasis drying up and did this have an effect on the members of the circus (like they had family/friends who had to now move because of the place drying up)? How did this affect the main character, besides the other members, did she make friends with the residents at the oasis?

Or was the oasis a secret and only discovered by the members? If so, then they would have to live off the land. Do any of the circus members have any actual survival skills, if so, who? Did they elect a leader of the secret oasis? Were there any disagreements over choice of authority?

After the oasis dries up, how exactly does mc plan to get to the moon? Is it an illustration (like a fairy tail/childrens book) or an actual photograph? What is the main goal of your story; is it about the journey or about actually reaching the moon and discovering something (like a scifi kind of plot).

>>124787056

Hmm, it looks unfinished (the lines on the characters just feel a bit unpolished). I like your style in general.

I wouldn't buy this because the resolution makes it not fit for purpose.

Still you could definitely sell CGs. I think $50/60 is reasonable for that, you could definitely make more for better resolution. 800x600 is not the norm these days.

>>124787228
Whoa I love you, thanks! I see I have some plot holes to explain. Back to work

>>124788506
No problem, I'm glad I could help.
>>124787056
Do you have another example for a CG that you could post?

File: bg s2f.jpg (336KB, 1280x725px) Image search: [Google]

336KB, 1280x725px

>>124787226
>>124788413
Yeah. Thank you for the reply. I'll keep that in mind when the commissioners tells me the price they're ok with paying
>>124788927
This one is from my VN. It's old though.

File: Writing Sample.png (72KB, 813x687px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 813x687px

>>124769730
>>124767205
>>124766635
>>124766470
>>124766029

I wanted feedback on my writing, this is what I'm working on:

>>124768504
>>124769873
>>124771329

Attached in the image is a sample segment for review/feedback/telling me I should just give up.

>>124791715
Is it NVL mode?

>>124792736

Alternates between NVL scenes and ADV scenes. This one is intended for the CG to begin with only like the middle visible and then the outer edges light up.

NVL is used for like... chapter or situation intros, then it would cut to ADV.

>>124791715

Pretty good. Few things I'd change:

Get rid of that comma and put in "with" before "wavering."

"Continues" often indicates you're repeating yourself. We know she's staring, so just explain her reasoning. "She stares at it, because If she doesn't, she will see the other things."

"explode" is extreme for a blood droplet. I get you're trying to drive home how serious it is, but I think that's too far.

The "So she sees..." line is reiterating what you just said, so I'd get rid of it. I'd also stop with "These signals" after the first one, because it sounds ridiculous with repetition.

"But the blood has no place to go either" is a weak finisher. "Pumping blood that goes nowhere" says the same thing with much more efficiency.

Is this for a VN?