Are game journalists... human?

Idiotic ones

Sauce?

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They deserve nothing but contempt

This is bad level design, the room for error is too small in a FUCKING TUTORIAL

>>389305883
Very first thing I ever programmed was a text adventure. I gave instructions on the starting screen that you had to type "north" to move north.

My very first play tester typed in the word "North" and then looked at me when nothing happened. He didn't press enter.

After that, I have learned that if you can't take a completely random person off the street and allow them to instantly start playing your game without getting stuck, you have a shitty game.

Ergo, this is a shit game.

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>>389305883
"I was only pretending to be retarded"

>>389306068
THE GAME ITS TOO DIFFICULT

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WOW

>>389306127
Stop. Just stop.

>>389306117
/thread

>>389306127
t.dean takahashi

>>389305883
>Valve playtester

>>389306135
>>389306216
I'm in fucking awe

I wanna watch him play XCOM

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>>389306216
>It is somewhere between Mario and Dark Souls
pffffffffffffffffffffffttttttttttt HAHAHAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK
THIS NIGGA CANT BE SERIOUS

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>Game's story includes a villain redemption arc

>>389306135
I couldn't read past the 3rd line without giving up. I guess this makes me me sympathize with venturebeat because they weren't able to jump over a column.

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Would it be easier like this?

I am unreasonably angry.

>>389306478
Shit man i never read walls of text

>>389305883
>does his first air dash 1:04 in
>stands there for 6 seconds
>walks over to the block
>jumps on it
>proceeds to fuck up the jump 4 times before finally getting it
What an idiot, holy shit. Read the fucking instructions the game is giving you.

9/10

Pros:
>+Cool Music
>+Pretty Colours
>+Microsoft are paying us to showcase this

Cons:
>-You have to play
>-No female cups

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>>389306135
>I was only pretending to be retarded

>>389306458
I still don't trust him. His about-face was too perfect and happened overnight.

>>389306517
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_u18_BKczg

Reminds me of the tunnels from HL2: EP. 2

>>389306216
I can't wait until he gets flooded with capture footage

>>389306458

>redemption

this guy is just a bandwagoning piece of shit that latches on to what he percieves to be the most popular way of thinking

>>389306127
There was a thread on /v/ a few years ago where people complained about how difficult it was to get out of the player's house in Pokemon Red. One guy even admitted to spending a month in there before realizing where the door was.
The point is, you can't be blamed when literal retards can't figure something out.

I mean... just say you were awake for 42 hours before playing and were running on fumes or something.

I'm more upset about the fucking awful deflection than some literally who being bad at videogames

>>389305883
>people still believe this was not faked out
why

>>389305883
No. I've met several.

As evidenced they are also retarded. In general game journalists are the people who thought they could get a job writing for games, realize narrative departments are typically one dude who got there through nepotism, and then fall back to writing shit articles. The best of the bunch were maybe a game tester for a contract or two.

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>>389306135
>IT WAS A PRANK BRO, FOR THE LULZ

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>>389306117
i agree with you, but it is still not something where you waste more than 2,3 tries.

>I can jump...
>and I can dash in the air...
>I should just go over to the block and try jumping on it!
How do these people breath, like there's being bad at videogames then there's being a complete retard

>>389306127
>Ergo, this is a shit game.
I can't agree more.
Just like dwarf fortress.
People must have autism to like and play that game.

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>>389306613
>>389306651
>Leaked a bunch of dirt on SJWs and publicly denounced his old ways
>Hurr durr not good enough
And people wonder why GG failed?

>>389305883
Are there videos of him playing other games?
Obviously he's just kind of stupid, probably not bad at videogames, just slow and dull

>>389306615
Truly the dark souls of puzzle games.

>>389306117
Did you watch the webm? You can't tell shit from someone who thinks jumping at a wall over and over again for a minute and a half is the path to success when there's a platform you could jump off of farther away, and a note telling you can dash mid-air to jump farther.

Reminds me of that guy who claimed his doom run was supposed to be retarded on purpose because it was a series where he got better as time went on

>>389306216
>There will be an achievement in which you beat the entire game within 26 minutes

>>389306517
bazinga

>>389306667
Well, what do you expect? Gaming journalists are faggots, end of story.

>>389306127
Unless you're a marketer you shouldn't think this way, your reasoning is wrong.

>>389305883
Of course not.
>Video games
>Journalists
They stopped being one a long time ago.

>>389306562
>No female cups
DID YOU JUST ASSUMED THEIR GENDER? YOU BIGOTS!

>>389306781
He has written three books and been 25 years in the industry
That's all I got lad

I'm a 19-year-old white male who's semi-decent at videogames, could I make a living writing shitty clickbait?

>>389306803
I wish I had footage of journalists playing actual puzzle games.

>>389306564
This. Oldest cop out in history.

>>389306914
>white male
ez life

>>389306914
Do you have connections?

>>389306564
Who is this aimed at?

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>>389306135
>>389306216

>Game is a bit harder than the typical hand holdy movies journalists are used to play on a daily basis
>"OMG this game is the Dark Souls of [genre of said game]!"

Without fucking fail.

>>389306923
Is this close enough? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Yt-wqKesW0

>>389306419

>it's somewhere between a very easy game and a very hard game

That's not really an offensive statement

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>>389306068
The true Dark Souls of videogames

>>389306978
>>389306914
>>389306871
>>389306725
>>389306706
>>389306135
>>389306216
Stupid fucking /pol/tards

>>389306068
I honestly don't know how that man can type that with any amount of sincerity. Its a fucking basic jump to dash mechanic in a side scroller and yet he's spending a minute and a half crouching and jumping and shooting and other shit when the game has literally spelled it out for him. You can't tutorialize any more basic than this, its impossible.

I'm honestly mad it's a Japanese dude and not a female or numale.

>>389306135
I actually read the wall of text and I'm still struggling to figure out what the fuck this guy is trying to argue

>well it's a 2D platformer, so the devs should "signal" to normies that their game is hard
>(never gives a concrete example of how they should do this)
>w-well a tutorial indicates a game is going to be hard!
>b-because it's not like games have tutorials anymore (wut)
>so i played like shit despite the onscreen instructions blatantly telling me what to do
>to show the game is hard in a part that's blatantly designed to not be hard
>th-that'll show those elitist "GAMERZ!"
???

Anyone got that DOOM .webm?

>>389307034
This has nothing to do with politics you tard.

>>389307028
Sure. But I was hoping to see all of their failures at stuff like the Witness.

>>389307034
Hilary lost.

>>389306984
I once connected a wire at my McJob, am I good to go?

This dean guy lives in San Fransisco btw. Just throwing that out there.

>>389307085
>>389307085
>>389307085

They're paid to write ,not be good at video games

>>389306135
the part he played isn't hard though! it's baby food! his argument might hold water if this was Spelunky or something but it's not, it's tame as heck.

>>389307151
Good, maybe the dems won't get a literal warmonger in 2020 and we can have a decent election instead of the absolute shitshow of 2016.

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Never be surprised at the stupidity of humanity.
They will always surpass your expectations of the limits of retardation while still somehow managing to not drown in their own saliva.

>>389307227
>worthless subhuman lives in CA

What a shocker.

>>389306898
I mean he compared the game to mario and dark souls, I'd love to see him fight the capra demon or play world 1-4

>>389306135
Why didn't he just say the tutorial was poor and be done with it? Why did he have to ham it up in the video and play like he was either disabled or a 4 year old? I get the point he's attempting to make, but that's just such a bad way of making it.

>>389306216
Every game is somewhere between Mario and Dark Souls

>>389305883

To be honest, I can understand where he is having trouble. I mean, its not TOTALLY clear that the jump + dash can be combined from what it says. You should be able to figure it out quickly, but I would also argue its a poorly designed tutorial

>>389306890
Trying way too hard kid

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Not that the journalist isn't a complete imbecile, but Cuphead's tutorial has room for improvement.
It doesn't do much in conveying you can chain or combine inputs to clear hurdles, no sort of guided arrow or illustration.

Wario Land 4's intro level, Hall of Hieroglyphs did exactly what it needed to do. It had markers, wall illustrations taught you the basic commands, and then doing commands together to get past certain kinds of obstacles.
It never does this at the expense of it being a decent level with exploration and secrets either.
Cuphead's tutorial goes straight into a combined command without doing the basics as-is. It tells you that you can do things, just poorly that you can do them together.

>>389307372
what about mario? or dark souls?

>>389307376
Retard

>>389307324
Just reminds me of that report from Nintendo saying every year fewer and fewer children are able to beat the first level of Super Mario Bros.

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>>389306216
>somewhere between Mario and Dark Souls

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Is it an upgrade to what they had?

>>389307376

It's pretty straightforward. Your jump isn't high enough to clear that gap and the game tells you that you can dash mid-air, so hey, why not dash in the air?

I'm not saying you have to be good at videogames to write for them but you probably shouldn't be DSP-tier

>>389307376
>DASH
>Quick evade on ground or air
there's literally no way it could've been clearer. It outright tells him he can air dash.

>>389307335
>living in a hick flyover state

If it was a female white girl instead of a Japanese man, you'd be sending death threats by now.

God I hate /vpol/.

Do something about this thread, mods.

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>>389307376
NIGGA ITS A PILLAR THAT ONE JUMP AT ITS BASE IS CLEARLY NOT HIGH ENOUGH TO CLEAR, YOU ARE TOLD THE BUTTON TO AIR DASH, AND YOU HAVE THE PREVIOUS BOX YOU JUST JUMPED OVER WITHIN VIEW. THIS BEHAVOIR IS INEXCUSABLE.

>>389306127
How do you feel about entire sections of games being gutted because <70 IQ playtesters can't figure out how to play?

>>389306127
this is bait

>>389307429
Even those.

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>>389307324
I blame the welfare state
Literally dysgenics

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>>389307034
fuck /pol/ but especially fuck people like you who can't stop talking about them, even when NOONE else is

faggot

>>389307478
Probably.

>>389307034
i'm nearly positive this is a bot, as there is nothing related to politics in these posts. Surely someone isn't this randomly triggered and retarded.

>>389307515
The east coast is obviously the best place to live in America.

>>389306216
Game informer beat that level in 2 minutes. They guy playing tried to get fancy with the party jumps, but stopped fucking around and beat the level when he got down to 1 hp. They got past what this mongoloid could do in around 1 minute.

>>389307523
And if it was a blue elephant we would be amazed
Wee the situation changes and so does our response such a concept

That tutorial seems pretty poorly designed, I can see where he might have trouble.

/v/ will just shit on the journo, though.

>>389307376
You should be able to figure it out after one failed jump
two if you're kind of stupid/terrible at games
Three if you're completely retarded or have parkinsons

>>389307584
What am I supposed to be seeing here? I don't into basketball

>>389307034
>>>/out/

>>389306615
I literally have to watch this everytime its posted. And say it.

>>389307450
>>389307480
>>389307505

I just think its odd the "dash" text is right above the tall pillar, as if its implying you should try it when you're actually on the pillar, as opposed to using it to GET on the pillar

again, it shouldn't take long to figure out. But I do think it could be designed better

>>389307712
Girl in blue scored on her own net.

>>389307712
The blue team scored on their own net, then the white team scored on theirs

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>>389307478

>>389307691
There's a point where if you spend a full minute trying the same shit with the same result it's probably your fault, just saying

>>389307712
People keep scoring on their own team/the wrong team, giving the opposing team points.

>>389307324
the first one might be real but the rest are obviously a mockery

>>389307712

white took a penalty shot on blues basket

blue scored on their own basket

white then assumed that the opposite basket had to be blues basket, then proceeded to almost score on themselves as well just before a stop was called

>>389307237
There is a minimum level of expectation though, especially if you've spent 2 decades in the profession. A movie critic doesn't need to be a good director, but if he lacks even the most rudimentary knowledge of the subject, his authority as a critic is called into question.

Dashing midair to preserve height is a staple of 2d platformers. Perhaps the tutorial wasn't explicitly clear to do this, but again, if you have been exposed to nearly any platformer in the past 20 years, it shouldn't have to.

>>389307459
I think it's an attention span thing. When I was young, I only had a handful of games to play, and usually only got one new game a year at Christmas or my birthday. I would play the shit out of whatever game it was even if I thought it was super hard because I couldn't just give up and go grab something else. A lot of kids I've talked to have far larger game libraries than I ever did, and are used to reading/watching things on the internet where you can just click away to something new the second you get bored.

>>389307324
Have you ever considered that humanity isn't stupid, but instead that literal children are just bad at videogames? I wonder how many kids got stuck on that part in Super Metroid in 1994? The only difference is that they didn't have a social network to post about it on.

>>389306216
I implore everyone to just shit on the tutorial and send it to this guy

>>389307801
>>389307803
>>389307813
Oh okay I see it now.
>one of the white team claps for her
lmao

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>>389307712
The blue team scores on their own basket, the white team tries to score on their own basket as well but they call the game off before they could do it

anyone have the image of the tester getting stuck for like a half hour, and the text says they had to get rid of the maze because of it?

>>389307775
At what point when designing a game do you have to stop holding the players hand and continue making the game?
Time is a constraint and having to flesh out every single level to carry the player through in the most simple and fool-proof way would kill the game before release

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>>389307759
leave /out/ out of this you newfag

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>>389307672
east coast here. can confirm

>>389307418
yeah if you're going to have a tutorial you might as well make it really clear.

>>389306656
That was a troll meme from /vp/.

>>389307759
>>389307593
>>389307523
I fucking klnew it, /pol/ has invaded everywhere. Listen assholesI'm going to level with you. Like how Harry Potter defeated evil, we will defeat you. The entirety of Reddit is against you.

All 30 million redditors are against you, you can't beat them so conform already. Keep your head down dogs.

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>>389308010
>Like how Harry Potter defeated evil, we will defeat you.

>>389306068
What drugs is this guy on? I want some.

>>389307324

but whats scary is that most of these people probably do stuff like drive...

>>389307672
Where my northeast bros at

>>389307775
It's not above the pillar, though, it's in the air right before it. Exactly where it should be.

>>389307870
Even if you didnt know about dashing in mid air there is no reason to jump at the base of the pillar for a minute. Its not like you will suddenly jumping higher after trying enough times. Once you know jumping from the base wont work using the box right next to it seems like the most obvious choice. Just jumping from the box doesnt work either, but the game has the "press y to dash" sign up there roughly where you will pass when jumping, so you would expect the player to try that.

>>389308092
that's the reference, champ, you spotted the bait.

>>389307584
what

>>389306776
GG didn't fail. It's stronger than ever. Zoe and Anita will stop making money any day now.

>>389306613
If you want to see it actually happening, look up the first CON leaks, he was constantly snarking in there and second guessing everything they wanted to do. He was clearly only with them because he thought it was the most advantageous side to be on, not because he thought it was right.

Doesn't really say much about him choosing to be on the other side now, but at the very least he wasn't an ideologue who switched sides to falseflag or anything like that.

im oddly fascinated by videos of people playing terribly...anyone else got anymore?

Rule #1 of game design: assume anyone who ever plays your game is severely mentally retarded.

Reminder that Valve had to change a portion of HL2:E2 because playtesters would walk in circles for several minutes

>>389308235
>Zoe and Anita will stop getting attention any day now.

>>389308125
Nah, most of the people in the screenshot are kids. But, yes, you make a fair point that even idiots are allowed to drive. I always say that driving is the most dangerous thing I do on a daily basis.

>>389307418
>Cuphead's tutorial has room for improvement.
No, get fucked. It's inconsequential because of how simple it is. Stop trying to poison the well, you attention deprived sack of smegma.

>>389308235
It's you faggots which got them to the point where they could make money from literally getting triggered. Retard.

this is far from the first game to feature a jump dash. I feel like if you;ve reviewed more than one game in a lifetime you might be familiar with the concept

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>>389308249

>>389308272
I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you've already seen DSP's masterpieces.

>>389306656
I'm sorry, what the fuck did he do in that house for a month?

>>389308376
Bump into walks and press A on everything he could, presumably.

>>389307523
kill yourself nigger

>>389307712
blue jersey scored a basket for the opposing team

>>389308317
The current tutorial in Cuphead assumes the player has a level of familiarity with gaming.
What if this game draws in an audience who've never played a game, because of it's appeal as a 30s era animation?

>>389307459
That was a P4G article, it wasn't actually real.

>>389308010
>The entirety of Reddit is against you.
That's funny because these gimps all come from there.

>>389308182
Yes, past the first few attempts it becomes clear he isn't applying any sort of critical thinking whatsoever.
Still, the first attempt or two I wouldn't fault a player brand new to platformers to do, but it should be immediately obvious to anyone with any experience whatsoever with the games.

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>>389308272
/ourguy/ Phil

>>389308487
then those people will watch it on youtube

>>389308487
>The current tutorial in Cuphead assumes the player has a level of familiarity with gaming.
No, everything is spelled out correctly. That person in the webm clearly has mental problems, and so do you.

>>389308582
I'M NUCLEAAAR

>>389308283
People always bring up the Antlion Guardian tunnel but the version the playtesters played is probably more confusing than people give it credit for.

>>389308487
How could it have been spelled out any clearer?

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>>389307324
Pauly actually beat Super Metroid though.

>>389307050
There could have been a cutscene showing Cuphead doing each action as you walk through the tutorial. Thank God there wasn't.

>>389307712
Blue uniform shooting into the wrong basket.

>>389308548
If you gave this to someone who never touched a game I would expect them to spend a while trying to jump off the box but this guy spent a minute standing under the pillar mashing the jump button, thats just retarded.

>>389308487
No. You're just dumb, and so is the journalist. This isn't up for debate.

>>389308582
What happened to ol DSP after the fapping incident anyways?

>>389306562
>-No female cups
That's not a con in any way.

>>389306127
There are 5 minute long tutorials about plugging a fucking ethernet cord into an xbox for leet wired connection.

Spoonfed retards need to die, but I understand that you have a vested interest in letting mouthbreathers feel accomplished.

>>389308696
Apparently it had a fork that looped back and a box or something so you would realize you already passed by that place.

>>389306216
>compares the game to mario
>doesn't compare it to gunstar, contra, metal slug, or literally any other game that would make more sense

This is what happens when limp dicked libarts queers are your primary sources of "gaming journalism"

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>>389308487
well then thats fine because they shouldn 't take too long to figure it out. If a person who never played a video game before took a minute and a half to get past the cylinder that's fine, we're talking about a man who's supposedly been reviewing games for 15 years but can't figure out a simple jump dash mechanic that he should have seen a million times by now.

>>389307923
Sauce?

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>>389306819
>Clear tutorial stage within 3 minutes
>Achievement unlocked: Beat the Ventures

How do I become a play tester?

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>>389307324
>y cant metroid crawl?

>>389308996
You don't want to become a play tester.

>>389307584
Kek that's hilarious. Bet the coaches felt proud.

>>389307376
>DASH
>quick evade on ground OR AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here i simplified it for you
JUMP THEN PRESS Y IN THE AIR GET IT??????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRESS A ON JUST BEFORE THE SMALL BOX AND IF YOU LAND ON TOP OF THE SMALL BOX YOU DID GOOD IF NOT TRY AGAIN AND AIM WITH THE LEFT STICK WHILE YOU PRESS A REPEAT TILL YOU ARE ON TOP OF THE SMALL BOX NOW PRESS A AGAIN AND PRESS Y AT THE PEAK OF YOUR JUMP TO DASH BTW DASH IS A QUICK EVADE THAT CAN BE USED ON GROUND OR AIR LIKE YOU NEED TO USE NOW SO GO AHEAD AND TRY THAT NOW REPEAT TILL YOU ARE OVER THE PILLAR

This guy clearly needed one of those tutorials that demonstrated the action before giving the player control.

>>389309045
Why?

>>389307979
>east coast here I can confirm

enjoy your shitty weather, sweaty nerd

<3 from california

>>389305883
>>389306068
>>389306135
>>389306216
I've seen all of these threads from the beginning, and this whole situation still baffles me.

The term "manchild" gets thrown around a lot, but I think this guy is the true definition of a manchild. A man with the literal mentality and capabilities of a child.

>>389306117
>Jump
>Dash at the peak of your jump instead of when you've already fallen halfway to the ground
>Pass over obstacle
You're right, it's too hard. They should make it so the dash lets you fly instead.

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>>389305883

>>389305883
>These "people" get paid to review
So game journalism is an incestuous business where you get in almost exclusively on who you know and social maneuvering rather than actually knowing anything about video games?

Are simps human?

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>>389308713

>>389309127
That's insulting to children. As a 6 year old child I could 1CC Contra, there's no way this guy could manage that in his life.

>>389309140
Why can't they be competent at games while also being good at writing? Are the standards that low?

>>389308809
Nothing, he denied it and probably just bans anyone in his twitch chat that mentions it.

>>389309209
WAIT A MINUTE, THAT ARROW

>>389309140
>I'm 10,000 times more interested in reading games features by a greate writer than a great "gamer"

frankly I'd take either at this point, this shits getting real pathetic real fast.

>>389305883
Have you ever seen a 60 year old touch a computer for the first time? You would probably have an aneurysm.

this whole thing would have blown over if he just admitted he was being retarded and laughed it off. But no, he has to be a dramatic little bitch about it

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>>389309106
>didn't even select the text to let it autoquote

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>>389309140
I would actually agree with this but the vast majority of game "journalists" are shit fucking hack writers who would get laughed out of a college class.

>>389309209
What if they can't read?
What if the player is blind and can't see?

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>>389306294

An oldie but a goody.

>>389308487
I very much doubt people from the Great Depression are lined up months in advance at their nearest GameStop to get their hands on a copy of Cuphead

That aside, Dean claims to have been at this shit for almost 20 years. If he was even a fraction as good as what a normal person would have been playing games for a few months, he'd have tried something other than running at the pillar and jumping a third time in a row. Common sense dictates if something doesn't work you try something else.g

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>>389306985
>Who is this aimed at?

>>389309209
Not simple enough, clarify it more for me, I DEMAND IT!!!!!!!!

>>389309227

Playing video games well requires years of practice and understanding. It's unreasonable to expect someone to be good at video games while being good at such a cerbrum intensive task as writing reviews

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>>389309321
This guy has written three game books and has been in the industry for more than a DECADE

>>389309092
>game has to play itself
he should just stick to the walking sims then
lol

>>389307376
>Dash!
>Quick Evade on ground or air!
>Evade on ground or air!
>on ground or air!
>ground
>OR AIR.
I find that it isnt really the games fault. People wont read. At all. Ever. Even if its right in front of them. I.E. went to a best buy once, the tags state the major stuff on computers. Processor. Ram. Hard disk space. If it has a graphics card. But i watched as this poor sod had to explain to these people at least 6 times what it had because they wouldnt just look at the fucking tag and read it.

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>>389306117
you retarded anon?

>>389308996
They barely get paid, because companies can get any number of retards to volunteer practically. On top of testing becoming increasingly unimportant as time goes on. Just release an almost finished game and patch out the bugs in a week or two.

>>389308582
>when you are nutting but you are still jerking it

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UujtfN7hCdo

>>389307950
>At what point when designing a game do you have to stop holding the players hand and continue making the game?
Probably after they complete the tutorial.

Why do journos upload videos that make them look like incompetent retards? Surely they have enough self-awareness to realize that maybe they should rerecord that bit where they spent ten minutes trying to jump dash?

>>389309640
Obviously not because that guy, who has been playing games literally on a professional level couldn't get past the first 30 seconds of the first level.

>>389306127

Reminds me of auto crouch being a thing in L4D2 because testers didn't know where to crouch, or the ant lion cave in HL2 being re-designed more than once because retarded testers would get lost, even when they added giant arrows pointing the way, they still got lost.

>>389309539
This is the most swedish thing I've ever seen

>>389309321
If a 60 year old cartoon fan was playing, the video would be endearing. This is someone who decides whether or not devs get their bonuses or not through their scores, and they can't even clear one of the simplest platforming obstacles in a reasonable timeframe.

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>>389309539
>that webm

>>389309606
I am 27 and unemployed so it sounds good for someone like me that doesn't want to work

>>389309745
Actually, he's more on the marketing level, he doesn't play games professionally, he's a market analyst.

>>389307418
Yes but Wario Land 4 is genuinely perfect game design.

>>389307376
Fair enough, but keep in mind he wasn't pressing Y on the ground in that webm. You don't see him dashing on the floor. He was very obviously only pressing A for 2 whole minutes even though the instructions to beat that segment were right there.

>>389306068
When in doubt, double down

>>389309854
Why lie?

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>>389309373
Braille, Audio Instructions, and Colorblind friendly color codes are used to designate implicit instructions. If you take more than 10 seconds to complete any single phase, a "Need Help?" prompt will be shown that offers either a video tutorial of how to complete the phase, or a button to skip it entirely.

>>389309536
We'll solve this problem dammit. How's this?

>>389309676

Because they have no passion for it. Playing it and recording that trash is a job to them. It's like a nigga staying at work later to mop the floor better.

>>389309858
Somebody post the WL4 analysis

>>389309942
He's not a reviewer. He's a market analyst. Not bullshitting, look it up.

>quick evade on ground or air

That language is not super clear. It could say "gain extra distance in the air" instead

>>389310013
Even when I worked at McDonald's I always made sure I got my shit cleared up before leaving. Fuck people who don't take their jobs seriously.

>>389310026
I used to have it, the dropbox user seems to have deleted it for some insane reason.

>chromatic abberation

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>>389309539
>that webm
It's unreal that this shit is a commercial.

This thread is shit. Yes, the guy who is playing this game is retarded and should be blacklisted forever. No one should listen to what he has to say because he's a moron. That being said, this tutorial is horribly designed. Someone's demented grandmother should be able to complete your tutorial. If not, your tutorial is shit.

>>389309991
I keep pressing X but I'm not winning, MAKE IT MORE SIMPLE OR I WONT BUY YOUR GAME

>>389310075
Spotted the game journalist.

>>389309809
>thinking you won't be working at a job

Dude they are going to treat you like a slave, there are very few gigs that you can do your own thing and despite never working as a game tester I can tell you that that job is not one of them.

>>389309609
Good post.

>>389310075
It doesn't need to. You don't need to succeed on the first jump. You jump once off the platform, see max jump height is too low, there's only one thing to increase jump height. You jump off of that and see that the horizontal distance is too large. Oh look, in this tutorial there is a tutorial blurb about an air evade, let's try using that! Oh, it adds distance. extra height from platform + extra distance from the tutorial element being taught = solved "puzzle".

Writing it out makes it sound complicated, but this is literally how you do everything in your life. This is problem solving 101.

>>389305883
this fucking dumbass seriously can't tell that his jump is not high enough to make it on there?

>>389310209
We'll use the old "Press Start" main menu trick where any button input is actually valid.

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>>389306216
this fucking troll got him to say its like Dark Souls hahaha holy shit

>>389310075
It could be clearer by saying "dash forward on ground or in midair" but either way the player would hit the button and find out.

>>389310145
kek looks like he played too many Sonic games that automatically boost you past loops

>>389310145

Okay, now I'm mad.

>>389310120

I'm sure he had to rush out to a hipster bar to party with other game journalists.

>>389305883
>Be Brainlet
>Can't play entertainment medium meant for children
>Decide to write articles about how problematic video games are because you're too stupid to beat them.
And remember, during GG there were people who were on the Journalists side, saying we were bullying them. Some of those people still browse this very board. Some of the people going "It's hard reviewing games stop picking on them :("? They're here, among us. Because they, too, are brainlets. They see themselves in these journalists who are too stupid to jump over a pillar.

>>389309539
That's clearly a white baby. Maybe Tyrone got cucked by Sven.

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Ouch!

>>389309209
Which they might do embarrassingly enough to make sure retards like in op's vid not have a complaint that the tutorial is 'too hard' or 'confusing' despite it being neither.

>>389309140
The nice thing about that retarded face these guys constantly make on pictures is that I can instantly disregard what they have said or will say.

>>389310318
I pressed the power button on my computer and now my screen is black, this is YOUR FAULT AND YOUR GAME IS FUCKING GARBAGE

>>389309140

Well that proves it, doesn't it? The "gaming journalists" are a bunch of casuals, who see video game reviews as nothing more than an opportunity to write over-stylized little bullshit AP essays on the worthless opinion they formed from 20 minutes of gameplay. "Ten thousand times more interested in reading a gaming feature by a great writer than a great gamer".

Dumbass, don't say shit like that and then claim you cater to an audience that gets its enjoyment from video games as opposed to writing. Someone who plays a shitload of video games is not going to be interested in the opinions of a jackass who can't tell the difference between Battlefield 1 and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. An opinion on a new release is worth far, far more from someone who has been playing video games for a decade or more, than it is from some failed journalist who used his bullshitting skills to crank out a fluff piece to generate his boss some advertising dollars.

If you are not immersed in the medium, who are not qualified to write about it to the same degree as someone who is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3pQ0oO_cDE

No

>>389307429
>>389307552
Especially those

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>>389310317
One of his later defenses is that he though he could dash through the wall.

>>389306728
>Person who doesn't know how to spell 'breathe' calls others retards

>>389310443
I'm sorry anon, current technology just hasn't progressed far enough to circumvent that issue. We are limited by the platform the game is on, if you cannot must the intelligence to use the console or computer the game runs on, we can't help you.

>>389310145

Ok, to be fair, if you dont know you can spin dash, i can understand the trouble

>game reviews by people who can't play games
>no book reviews by people who can't read
makes you think

What's up with nu-male Mickey Mouse?

>>389310290

But the point is that this is a tutorial, the text should be super clear about what the moves actually do. Its obvious that the air dash will be used more as a "distance extender" than an "evade", so they should describe it as something that can extend your distance in the air. Describing it as "evade" is poor choice of language

>>389310443
>I pressed the volume up button my phone, but the xbox game did nothing, Sony please fix

>>389310614
No, you're missing the real fucking problem. If you just HOLD FUCKING RIGHT, you can get through the loop.

He was rotating the dpad. And jumping. He really is that stupid.

>>389307372
Mario is not the epitome of easy games
the old ones especially. I mean they weren't exactly hard but I think someone who can't manage to jump and then air dash would probably have trouble with them

>>389310568
Your font rendering makes my eyes bleed.

>>389310695
What's up with buzzwords

>>389310612
This should be printed under the title of every game.

Problem solved

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>>389309127
And yet the hardest video games have traditionally been the ones designed for children. Funny that.

>>389310704
>hold right to run left
good game design

>>389310704

It seems really stupid to us, since we've been playing for years. But for someone who's never played the game, you can understand why they wouldn't just hold right. After all, you're not going straight right, you're going around a loop, so they probably figure you need to start pushing left near the top of the loop to keep going.

>>389307372
Kirby is easier than mario

>>389306117
How is requiring a basic thought process giving you too little room for error

>>389310568
If he were an intelligent man, he would've just stopped replying. All he's doing is providing more ammunition for people to make fun of him. Although, to be fair, an intelligent man wouldn't have failed at jumping over the wall for several minutes.

>>389306216
Fuck this im sending him my first 26 minutes

>>389310704
1. No jump attempt the first time through
2. Rotating dpad makes about as much sense as holding right

I'm almost that bad at sonic

>>389310708
If he struggled with this, I want to know how bad he'd fail at the first level of Super Mario Bros 3.

>>389309209
If we could idiot-proof the tutorial even more, maybe a pitfall between the cube and the pillar would be best. Have the pitfall instantly respawn the character back on the cube until they get it right. That way they won't hang around between them like in the OP. That would at least communicate that you need to jump off the cube and figure out how to extend your jump to continue(from the blatant instructions on the wall).

>>389307890
The first video game I played was Ninja Gaiden
I beat it

>>389305883
yes, they just dont play video games

>>389310579
Did he died?

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>>389306294
This joke is going to be lost to time. Its already been six years since Valve put out a full video game.

>>389310805
You're upside down you retard

>>389306216
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMkCIdGikmk

For comparison, here is some gameplay from someone else who played it.
They beat the first level in 2 minutes, Dean took 26.

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>>389309539

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>>389306135

>>389311053
>The answer is a most redounding no
I don't know about that faggot, but when I picked up Donkey Kong for the first time at just a few years of age I had no issues.

>>389306068
"I'm paid to make the game look too difficult for stupid casuals, like me, in order to jew the /v/ crowd out of their money" Crash Bandicoot sold great with this approach

>>389306117
That maybe true but the fuckwit in the video was trying all sorts of things, not just trying the jump and dash move

>>389310671
>no food reviews by people with no taste buds insert joke about <country name here>'s cuisine
>no movie reviews by blind people
>no hotel reviews by agoraphobics

>>389310614
What's happening in that webm is the reviewer thinks you have to push left when manoeuvring through the top of loop. This is a semi-understandable mistake if you haven't played many video games before, after all you are travelling to the left for a moment, but any person who isn't completely braindead would realise their error after the first attempt.

>>389309539
This webm is the only thing more disgusting than Dean's gameplay video.

>>389306135
>it serves as an interesting social experiment
Stopped right there

>>389305883
This is just embarrassing. This is a basic move that we've seen many times in a dozen different games since the 90s. What a joke,

>>389310793
Older games were more modeled after typical arcade games, where failure is expected from the players, many times. Until they git gud, then they get to enter their initials under High Scores.

>>389306068
>take 5 minutes to learn a basic fucking air dash
>"wow this game is hard"
>"truly the dark souls of platformers"

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>>389307324
>I am stuffed & don't know where to go!!

>>389310875
If he was an intelligent man he wouldnt be a games journalist. If he wasnt intelligent, but at least less retarded, he wouldnt have gotten stuck for a minute jumping under a pillar like an idiot.

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>>389305883
Is this game the next Dark Souls?

>>389305883
I wonder how these people do to play old games, Megaman&Bass didn't even have a tutorial

>>389306068
>>389306135
>>389306216
>It's the game's fault that I suck!

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>>389311374
>SMTIV
>the Dark Souls of Persona games

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Some anon said that this was done on purpose along with daring people on twitter in order to bring people into buying and playing this game just to BTFO him

it makes sense since no one is this stupid enough to do BOTH these things at once

>>389311203
That reminds me of the time I got stuck for like half an hour in the goron trial at the end of MM and it turns out you merely had to let go of the control stick.

>>389311374
>The Dark Souls of Persona games
I refuse to believe that this is real

It's nice to see DSP will fit in fine with the games journalist community when he stops being a youtube meme

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>>389311374
>The Dark Souls of Action RPGs
>The Dark Souls of Fantasy RPGs
Never fails to aggravate.

Does anyone know if it has online co-op or is it local only?

>>389308669
IM WILD

>>389309539
But it isn't cuckshit, it's just a gay couple who bamboozled a women for her womb

>>389305883
No OP, its worse than that... They're Rabbids
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANniNAPZzM8&t=145s
Start at 1:57

>>389311559
Local only, according to the steam store page

>>389306068
Nigga what?

>>389310979
he's alright, he jumped before hitting the ground

>>389311472
Is it worth destroying your reputation? Literal selling out, if it were true. Although I'm of the belief you treat people that pretend to be retarded the same as regular retards.

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>>389311374
I can't hate this picture enough every time I see it.

>>389307584
I refuse to believe this is real.

>>389310579

The worst part for me is that, if you fall while spinning, you can't even see how close you are to leaving mr. bones' wild ride

LOOKS LIKE THIS IS GONNA BE THE DARK SOULS OF PLATFORMERS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3d1nvKeTnU

This is honestly worse than that DOOM playthrough from Polygon. It's WORSE.

>>389311728
At least it's clearly kidding.

>>389309631
>Ys games too complex
Jesus Christ desu.

>>389308272
DSP playing Overwatch is truly amazing

>>389311801
fun fact: it's possible to survive a fall from terminal velocity if you land on your feet
If you're lucky and you land just right, the bones of your lower body being pulverized to splinters will absorb all the impact before it gets to your vital organs

>>389305883
Liberal

>>389305883
I believe this was made on purpose to get attention to the site/journalist.

>>389311374
>Dragon's Dogma is the Dark Souls of Dark Souls
hopefully whoever wrote this article got raped and murdered

>>389307324
This really highlights why they needed so much hand holding in Pokemon Sun and Moon

>>389310026
I want to know what this is

>>389312126
And to create drama.

>>389311374
The SMT IV entry is so fucking ridiculous

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>>389306216
It's the Dark Souls of Mario games.

>>389311924
Doesnt help that the guy who played is doubling down on his retardation.

>>389310702
But it is used for actual evasion

>>389312151
YEAH RAPED AND MURDERED BY THOSE SKELETONS YOU KNOW THE ONES IN THE GRAVEYARD AT THE BEGINNING THAT ARE REALLY HARD HAHA US GAMERS RIGHT
you know what I mean right because its from dark souls and happened to everyone so it's relatable and funny
please laugh

>>389305883
Honestly it's a poorly designed tutorial that would likely confuse children new to games but not someone who plays games for a living.

>>389312394
as much as I despise Arthur Gies at least he had the excuse of having never played an FPS on a controller before that video. Which calls into question the decision to record the console version and not the PC version he's better at, but still.

That was a full 3D game based on fast movement and precise aim, this is a basic 2D platforming tutorial. Fuck me man, I thought asians were supposed to be good at games.

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>>389306216
I'd like to see this bitch play super mario maker

>>389307584
rocketleaguesilverrank.webm

>>389312472
What's confusing about a tutorial that literally tells you exactly what you have to do?

The only explanation for this is that they have never played a video game before, or they were in the middle of talking to someone else while doing this, and were barely paying attention. I can't imagine anybody actually being that bad while also devoting their full attention to the game and having even the slightest background in video games.

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>>389311374
>SMTIV the Dark Souls of Persona games

They must be doing this on purpose

>>389309221
Jesus Christ this. I remember being a fucking kid in kindergarten playing my brothers genesis and NES all the time and beating shit like ninja gaiden, castlevania 3, ranger x and ghouls n ghosts and shit like that. How a 30 year old "man" is incapable of even passing a tutorial in a reasonable manner is baffling beyond belief.

>>389306615
It's pure gold and it will remain gold

>>389312545
>Fuck me man, I thought asians were supposed to be good at games.
No, asians are just good at practicing and memorizing things precisely.

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>>389305883
>>389306068
>>389306135
>>389306216

Dumbass could've lied and said he was drunk while playing or something. Fucking hell this guy is pathetic.

>>389309227
You don't need to be good at either one, you just have to suck a lot of dick to become a journalist these days. I mean look at Kotaku.

>>389312665
that probably would have cost him his job, moron.

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>>389311374
I can't even be mad at this, it's so fucking funny. "Dark Souls of Persona Games" aside, the entire justification for the SMT 4 entry is "it doesn't hold your hand and you can die"

This guy has been doing this for 25 years? He looks like he's fucking 19 and his skills at games are worse than me when I was actually 5.

>>389312665
at this point he's legitimately retarded so he can't tell he is

>>389312756
This should cost him his job regardless.

>>389312756
Or it would have opened up an entirely new section of "journalism" on these shitty clickbait websites. You can guarantee the majority of these fucking losers at these places are popping pills and smoking weed while they're "working"

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>>389311053
But this isn't comparable considering he has been a game journalist for 18 FUCKING YEARS

This isn't like handing your grandpa a Playstation 4 controller and laughing at him. Most people here have only been playing games for 18 years since you a lot of guys are probably 22-23.