Just watched Valerian

We all agree that the Minister was being set up as the overall villain of the trilogy, right?

What method of suicide are you choosing?

>>85539398
HOW WAS IT?

Would a boot fetishist get any enjoyment out of watching this?

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>>85539434
>Minister
the black dude with the eyeglasses?
>>85539452
edge
>>85539492
actually good
>>85539504
costumes are nice, picrelated

>>85539398
I just watched it too.
I didn't hate it, but it was an incredible disappointment. Some of the best visuals I've ever seen, but the script is strait out of the 60s. Completely unoriginal in every way except for one or two scenes.

>>85539661
>the black dude with the eyeglasses?

Yeah.
It's the only explanation for why even though the central commander was given full clearance there was still important data that was blocked to him.

And why the converters were well known despite being native to Planet M'ul.

>>85539678
>some of the best visuals I've ever seen
wut
the CGI in the trailer ranged from bad to mediocre

>>85539678
I didn't expect much, but ended up liking it. I like and I think the critics are giving them a hard time. As for the script, I wouldn't mix "conventional" with "unoriginal".

>>85539822
Not OP, but saw it too and that's a good point.

It doesn't break the mold with the script, but each scene is meant to carry the story and the visuals without losing momentum.

>>85539742
>And why the converters were well known despite being native to Planet M'ul.
I never trusted the savage bastards from the beginning desu, I think they got it too easy in this movie. But I was still very satisfied with the ending explanation.

>>85539746
No, it didn't

>>85539898
Yeah, I just mean that the government is clearly hiding a larger conspiracy if Laureline knows about that species despite the fact that it should have gone extinct 30 years prior.

>>85539871
>It doesn't break the mold with the script, but each scene is meant to carry the story and the visuals without losing momentum.
I thought the opening scene with the humans expanding through space and explaining the lore was very elegantly done.

>>85539746
not really man,
compared to Valerian, the new star wars look like washed up crap

>>85539973
That scene was fantastic, and it ends with some very blunt, utilitarian, dialogue from Rutger Hauer and the entire experience of that in full is pretty emblematic of themovie.

>>85539398
i really wanted to see it but i kept hearing that the movie felt long and wasnt so good

>>85540049
It feels long if you're being swept away by the general spectacle.

If you are, then it does a really good job of keeping the energy up. But it doesn't deal with character depth or plot complexities and so can feel long if you like that kinda thing.

>>85540024
>dialogue from Rutger Hauer
actually this movie was pretty awesome.

>>85540133
>It feels long if you're not*

Sorry, that.

>>85539948
>>85540007
I distinctly recall the big alien lizard-dog chasing them in all the trailers being blurry trash CGI.

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through the whole movie I thought how great it would be if the male lead was as charismatic as dandy

>>85540193
Might want to switch up from 480p

>>85540218
Yeah, but Besson isn't really trying to make him out to be charismatic.
He's definitely trying to make Valerian out to be a petty, cocky, douche.

>>85540193
>being blurry trash CGI.
you're right about all except for this part.

does the movie focus on the aliens and politics like the star wars prequels?

>>85540251
>He's definitely trying to make Valerian out to be a petty, cocky, douche.
One thing that bothered me that they keep telling you that Valerian is "always flirting" but I can't recall him flirting with anyone in the movie.

>>85540312
It's very straightforward and superficial about that.
Less Star Wars, more "Dune for Dummies"

>>85540312
>does the movie focus on the aliens and politics like the star wars prequels?
you might call the plot "political" but not in a banal GoT way...

>>85540340
That bothered me too, and mostly because people keep saying he and Cara had no chemistry.

They do, a bit.

But they decided to have Valerian at the end of this unseen character arc where he grows out of being a playboy, and the bit of chemistry they do have makes that unbelievable.

Of course, since Besson is not getting the trilogy he planned, maybe that works out in hindsight.

>>85540426
>Of course, since Besson is not getting the trilogy he planned, maybe that works out in hindsight.
it wouldn't actually be a bad standalone movie like the fifth element is anyways.

>>85540540
Exactly.
It's a general bad idea to start the character off at the end of some off screen character development, but since it's going to be this one movie, it helps it feel closed.

>>85540426
>That bothered me too, and mostly because people keep saying he and Cara had no chemistry.
>They do, a bit.
I think they were fine, it's more difficult to pull out the "love" chemistry in movies like these than the crappy "bro puns" chemistry we get so often.

>>85540627
Yeah, they were fine in a "those two are so belligerently wanting to fuck" way.

Just not a "I'm giving up fucking around to get married ASAP" way .

>Angry Joe hates it
will RLM review it?

>>85540877
I've hated all those kinds of reviews on this movie because they all preface with "Welllll I thought the Fifth Element was fantastic BUT"

Well shit, if you thought Fifth Element was a 10/10 then this is at least 6/10 you bastards.

>>85539398
Why was Rhiannas cameo so good?

>>85539746
Watch the movie you fucking idiot

>>85540312
Not really other than the globalist shilling in the beginning which turned into galactic shilling

>>85539398
is it good?

>>85540919
>Well shit, if you thought Fifth Element was a 10/10 then this is at least 6/10 you bastards.
It's not even THAT worse than the Fifth Element. Minus the actors charisma, they're pretty on par experiences.
>>85540929
It was fun and cute, also Ethan Hawke was awesome.

>>85541049
>It's not even THAT worse than the Fifth Element. Minus the actors charisma, they're pretty on par experiences.

Yeah, I was just hedging my bets. I felt that if Fifth is a 10 then this is a 7-8 definitely.

>>85541028
I enjoyed it and might even rewatch it sometime down the line

>>85540929
Dane was the best part of Rihanna's cameo

>HEY BABY

>>85541049
I watched 5th element last night, and while Valerian kicks it's ass in the CGI department, it has stellar practical effects and props that keep it from feeling dated, also more straightforward story

>>85541028
It's worth watching in theaters

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>>85541077
I think it's the closest thing to a sequel for FE that we are ever going it to get

>>85541209
They even end on kinda the exact same shot

should i see it on the theater or watch it online?

>>85541145
>it has stellar practical effects and props that keep it from feeling dated, also more straightforward story
no doubt about it, I think they even went a bit "overboard" withe the CGI, I mean that "space battle sequence" was a bit much, they could've dealt with it in a more creative way and less straightforward "show all" way.

>>85541346
>should i see it on the theater or watch it online?
I think you should go and see it. The effects are certainly worth experiencing on the big screen and it isn't even a half bad movie.

i thought the visuals were incredible, the two main characters are pretty flat and unlikable though, if at very least the guy had been played by a ryan reynolds type the movie would have been much more enjoyable. the visuals were really amazing though.

>>85541417
>if at very least the guy had been played by a ryan reynolds type the movie would have been much more enjoyable

I think Dane did a good job as an egotistical, vain, jerk.

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>>85539434

>triolgy

lol

>>85541466
im sorry but he was terrible, his monotonous voice and terrible acting should not have been in this movie.also the character should have been played by someone good looking.

>>85541603
I'm sorry as well, I felt he played with the camp pretty well. And again, Besson decided to display the character as a high-maintenance asshat.

>>85541571
It unironically flew over burgers head, just watch the angry joe review, hes your typical american audience.

>>85541708

Oh, it flopped hard enough to enter the post-ironic "2 deep 4 u" /tv/ praises it stage. Cute.

>>85541648
yeah not to bring up marvel movies as a comparison but chris pratt in the first gotg was essentially that and that character was pretty entertaining, this movie needed an actor like that for this character but instead we got this weird looking, robotic sounding, flat,ugly, shitty actor

>>85541796
Pratt in GOTG1 wasn't very much a douche, nor was he a vain and petty one.

>>85541844
umm he was kind of a conceited douche he was just charming and funny at the same time.

>>85541897
Not really, at all.

>>85541945
you're just wrong its okay, go watch it again and pay attention this time.

>>85541978
You're right. Valerian is worth watching twice.

>>85541945
either way the dude in this movie was garbage and he detracted from it massively.

>>85542020
I say he didn't.

>>85542020
>>85542044
maybe he wasn't great, but hes far from being "problematic"

>>85542145
wtf does that mean, i mean he IS problematic, he's a fucking white male after all

he was a big fucking problem he was a charisma vacuum and he looks like a goblin.

>>85542229
He was a goofy character in a goofy movie.

>>85542229
>he was a big fucking problem he was a charisma vacuum and he looks like a goblin.
yes, I might agree that he was the weakest part of the movie, and that is a big part, but it doesn't make the movie bad or unwatchable.

It has 53% on the tomatometer for christs sake

>>85542293
>he was the weakest part of the movie
Rihanna was. Even Cara outacted her

>>85542259
nah he was just shit, and the movie could have been truly great if it wasnt for the main characters and their contrived shitty romance cliche.

>>85542314
The romance could have been punchier, but the characters fulfilled their purpose.

>>85542293
this movie most likely will not get a sequel now, which is truly unfortunate. they needed some big actors that could have attracted the masses to this movie.

>>85542307
rihanna did fine for the scope of her role, at least she knew not overstay her welcome.
>>85542314
I this Cara was okay compared to him, those hand signs that she throws in the beginning of the movie when they're undercover tourists are CUTE

>>85542377
Besson wanted a goddamn trilogy, and you can tell by the loose ends here.

>the merchant swearing revenge on Valerian played by John Goodman.
>the obvious upper echelon government corruption

Although it closes every other plot thread well. So there's no real need.

>>85542347
all you're saying is they were adequate, good enough, didn't fuck things up too much. Yeah that says a lot.

this movie could have been fucking amazing.

>>85542450
Not really, this isn't a movie about the characters.

You need actors who won't pull that much focus and will be able to work with the minimal and with the cheese. They did.

You mention Ryan Reynolds, and I think he would have been worse.

>>85542500
the crux of this movie for the mainstream audience was the main characters, reynolds wouldnt have been perfect but he would have been MUCH MUCH better than the guy in it, i guarantee you.

>>85542587
He would have maybe gotten more people in seats, but Dane is this weird looking oddity and he just felt like more of a presence in this already goofy movie due to it.

>>85542587
>>85542624
I can't wait for "recast Valerian" therads on /tv/

>>85542624
sounds like you're just rationalizing how garbage the green goblin was because we cannot change what already is.

Getting people in seats is how we would have had a sequel

>>85542716
I felt the same way about Dane in A Cure For Wellness.

He just has a weird swagger to him that just seems a natural fit for campy genre films.

>>85542767
robots do not swagger

>flick from a literally who franchise with an inflated budget and no marketing set to release soon
>minor /tv/ hype for the coming floppening, picking apart where it fucked up
>flick releases a spectacular flop AND critics hate it
>/tv/ goes into contrarian overdrive to the point of heaping praise on the awful nepotism cast and celebrity appearances
jeez

>>85543075
yeah, cause critics have been so right about so many things. You didn't even watch it, so why are you even replaying?

Is Cara hot in this?

>>85543488
more cute than hot

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Hello >>>/tv/ just wandered over from >>>/x/ what do you all think about this?

https://truthearth.org/2017/07/24/disclosures-in-the-movie-valerian-and-the-city-of-a-thousand-planets/

I haven't seen it but it looks as good as any other Luc Beson movie (B+ at least) and yet it flopped horribly. I often wonder why some movies flop while steaming piles of crap make millions of dollars. Why do some movies get massive (free) hype and others, like this one, get virtually NONE.

Even if this movie sucks, I'd bet it's a least as good as any of the Transformer turds.