DUDE ALCOHOLIC DETECTIVE

but this time she's female! and she gets BLACKED! wow what a progressive show!

Will we ever get a series about the adventures of Purple Man?

>>82736754
DUDE SNARK LMAO

The Kilgrave arc was the best arc

She grew on me.

>>82736792
You're not supposed to watch the show and think "Wow I want to be like Jessica Jones!"

>>82736890
literally this

DUDE
BLACKED.COM

DUDE
COME BAAACK HERE JESICUUUUUUUHHHHHH

DUDE
MUH RAPE ALLEGORY

DUDE
WHITE MEN ARE BAD

>>82736792
>>82739051
She marries Luke in the comics, you dips

>>82739105
explain how that requires a sex scene

>>82739203
When a man and a woman like each other very much...

>>82736814
No, the director was very clear that as good as David Tennant was, this is Jessica's story and it will advance with her and nobody else.

Also people who still hate this after Iron Fist came out need to take a long hard look at their lives

>what if we made a show where every plot development is based on a random character doing something retarded for no reason
based Marvel

>>82736890

I'm not, but I do.

>>82739240
>characters fall in love and get married
>that means they have to have a sex scene

>>82739240
>Luke is worried about his super strength killing her while they fuck
>it's cool though, she's strong too

>first episode of Luke Cage he bangs Misty Knight just fine

Fucking plot holes. Is it too much to ask that they be consistent in the deadliness of Luke Cage's cock?

>>82739261
Audiences need to know that they bang to remind them that they're a couple

>>82739261
holy shit cunt there's sex scenes in like every fucking show shut up

>>82739286
Stop feeding the troll

This is Internet 101

>>82739245
All tv shows are based around that

She'd better fucking fly in Defenders

She can get air-sick or whatever, but if she can't fly then she is literally just a shitty inferior Luke

Why are all of the Defenders such sluts?
>Matt bangs Elektra, Claire, Karen, and probably Jessica
>Luke bangs random chicks, Jessica, Misty, and Claire
>Jessica bangs Kilgrave, Luke, and probably Matt

>>82739382
>Danny sleeps with Colleen once and betrays his best friend and lifelong ideals immediately

>>82739408
I AM THE IRON FIST

>>82739436
>fist becomes tough as iron from a lifetime of masturbating and eating donkey meat

>>82739436
*autistic hand glowing*

>>82739203
Physical display of affection between two adults.

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>>82739485

>>82739561
Are those lips computer generated?

>>82739277
She let him cut loose

>>82739576
no he's just black

Danny must be able to see Stark Tower from his office. Why the fuck not just ask him to pitch in? Or go to Queens and see if the spider guy who's all over the news wants to help?

>>82739709
Spidey's jurisdiction ends outside of Queens

>>82739750
What the fuck was he doing at that airport then?

>>82736754
She gets bonus points for her enemy not being the fucking Hand

>>82739760
Uncle tony said he had to

>>82739779
Luke didn't have to fight the Hand, just gangbangers and black robocop

>>82739808
Yeah but Luke's enemies didn't have powers, Jessica's did.

Why does she have powers again? The others I know, but her

>>82739831
The chemical truck she crashed into gave her powers

>>82739851
No that was Daredevil

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What was his problem?

>>82739865
>After coming into contact with experimental chemicals and spending some time in a coma, Jessica emerged with superhuman abilities. She possesses superhuman strength, as well as flight, and is known to block mind control because of her strength.

>>82739872
He didn't get the part as Captain America

>>82739896
>and is known to block mind control because of her strength

That's retarded.

Were they the same chemicals as the Daredevil ones?

>>82739851
Because that's how chemicals work

>>82739917
If chemicals can give Matt super blindness, they can make Jessica fly

>>82739935
Stick gave Matt super blindness. Chemicals just gave him regular blindness.

>>82739946
One batch two batch, Red

>>82739277
Luke doesn't have super strength though. Whenever he shows impossible physical feats other than having inpenetrable skin, it's the writers not understanding his power.

>>82739946
>dude just REALLY listen
>instant superpower

what a shitfest

>>82739978
Except he does have super strength

>>82739978
rewatch Luke Cage senpai, it's all "crush guns with hands" and "wave a sofa around like a wiffle bat".

>>82740018
I hope he learns origami so he can make all those mashed up guns a little more artful

Maybe that's how he pays his bills, he sells them on Etsy

>>82739203
>>82739261
>being this triggered by a nigger dick
how tiny is your weewee

>>82739261

>it's an anon gets triggered and REEEEEEEE's when a sex scene comes on episode

>>>/r9k/

>>82740005
>>82740018
That's what I mean by inconsistent writing. Canonically, Luke's only superpower is iron skin. In JJ, Jessica is manhandling him during one of their sex scenes, showing that he is just as strong as any normal human with his body frame would be.

>>82740035
>how he pays the bills
Well he's black so obviously he robs people for money, but since the writers are in a tight spot with the whole "he's supposed to be a hero" thing they made a major breakthrough when they realized he could steal money from thieves, and bam! fixed that plot hole.
Would still want to see Luke Cage's version of the Murdercube.

>>82740121
I prefer the idea of him sat in an internet cafe getting vexed about people not bidding on his ebay art

>>82740121
You're a funny guy

>alcoholic
>she isn't waking up in her own piss daily
fucking hollywood bullshit

>>82736792
>wow what a progressive show!
Yes, you can tell it's a really progressive show when the main female lead is self-loathing, alcoholic that is weaker than all of the main males in the cast.
Don't forget the toxic lesbian relationship.

>>82740163
Her bladder is also super strong

>>82740086
Your fatal flaw here is that you somehow presume that his powers are gonna be 1:1 with the comic. They never said as much. As things stand right now with JJ refusing/being really shit at flying and Cage having superstrength he's basically straight up better at everything compared to Jessica. Which is hilarious considering the somewhat feminist writing of these shows.

>>82740185
Luke is the brawn, she's the brains.

Except that Matt is probably the brains, which I guess makes her the heart?

>>82740142
Now I just picture that shot of Foreman in house with the caption "This vexes me". Well done.

>>82740179
the bladder isn't a muscle. that also wouldn't stop it from involuntarily relaxing while unconscious.

Face either she's a bedwetter or she isn't an alcoholic

>>82740171
>weaker than all of the main males in the cast.

What show were you watching? JJ could wreck Nuke and Luke easily and Kilgrave was the main villain, so obviously he'd be a big threat until the very end.

>>82740199
Pretty sure Danny is the heart. She's the ass, figuratively and literally.

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>>82740229
>Pretty sure Danny is the heart. She's the ass, figuratively and literally.

>>82740199
No, Danny is the heart. He's actually got ideals and shit. Jessica is just cynical about everything.

>>82736792
Whoa I wanna be an alcoholic private investigator who has sex with black men now WTF??

>>82740199
>Except that Matt is probably the brains, which I guess makes her the heart?
Danny's the heart, she's the attitude, or the sass.

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Disappointed that he didn't become Bushwacker

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>>82736754
DUDE MY GIANT FEET

>>82740253
Reminds me of those webms of that white boy getting pounded in the ass by a BBC. He's weeping the entire time. Too bad male voices are a boner killer for me.

>>82740224
She gets wrecked by Nuke, and has to rely on her friend to take his adrenaline (or whatever) to save her. Jessica almost loses to Luke, being much weaker physically.

What other enemies does she have for S2?

Will any of them come close to Purple Tennant?

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>>82740297
Seriously guys this triggers me

>>82740399
and?

>>82740297
>Guys, we need someone to play an asshole General

Every single time with this dude.

>>82740371
I dunno, Blue Tennant?

>>82740333
Because the fight started with her waking up from being unconscious from when that crazy chick hit her over the head. Jessica is physically WAY stronger than Luke. At least that's how these 2 characters are supposed to be in the source material AND in the JJ tv show. I didn't watch Luke Cage but from what I've heard the writers didn't have any clue on how to write his powers, so now all the secondaries are really confused about how strong he's supposed to be.

>>82740477
>I didn't watch Luke Cage

Why not? Purely the race thing? Because it's a better show than Daredevil S1 was

>>82740371
Most of her enemies are either dead in the MCU or are spiderman villains
>Victoria Hand-Killed by Ward
>Rhino-Spidey villain
>Doc Ock-Spidey villain
>Jigsaw-Punisher villain
>Hobgoblin-Spidey villain
>Green Goblin-Spidey villain

>>82740440
I like how he was an asshole general on both Daredevil and Flash in the same year.

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When does he get his own series?

>>82740519
I'm rewatching Flash now (because I'm a trash person with trash taste) and watched DD S2 recently, so yeah I'm now interested in going through his IMBD and see how many movies he's credited as a soldier in.

>>82740502
>it's a better show than Daredevil S1 was

That's the first time I've ever heard anyone say that. Everyone else said its boring as fuck and drops off even more after the first half, which is why I never bothered to watch it. I also think he's one of the most boring superheroes of the MCU and the actor has zero charisma to carry a show by himself.

>>82739872
He's a fucking white male, and that's a no-no.
Only virile, ebony men can be the good guys.

>>82740507
they're probably going to bring toxic masculinity back as a villain

>>82740549
never, hes part of agents of shield last i heard

>>82740549
Never. FUCK Ghost Rider.

He's just returned to Agents of SHIELD and I'm as anti-hyped as it's possible to be about marvel tv shows. He's so fucking boring and he's going to ruin the big bad trying to burn the entire world because Fitz dumped her.

>>82740578
Agents of Shield is where characters go to die

>>82740562
B-but them low swinging misty knight tiddies tho

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>>82740570
>Only virile, ebony men can be the good guys.

75% white
75% male
100% hetero, cis gender, human-kin
100% able-bodied

They should really rename themselves to The Shitlords

>>82740590
Do you understand that there is more than one Ghost Rider?

>>82740624
>group shot
>all looking at something
>Matt is facing the right way

Why don't Netflix understand their source material?

>>82740679
They all seem to be looking at something. Danny is staring into the sky for some reason.

>>82740679
Well to be fair, Matt is smiling and laughing at whatever everyone else seems to think is grim.

>>82740624
>i have no idea whats going on

>>82740679
>Matt noticing the human / thing in question via his radar-senses long before anyone else could even see it
>somehow wouldn't position his body facing said thing

Why don't you understand the source material?

This is all well and good, but where's my fucking Punisher series?

>>82740749
We face things because that's where our eyes are

>>82740824
ah yes, NCIS but super fucking edgy

>>82740824
he comes after defenders, take your time.

*loads gun*
>>82740845
One batch
>>82740862
Two batch

>Sheepish, beta, orbiter neighbor gets killed.
>It's basically her fault.
>Feels absolutely no remorse about it.
>Psycho friends actually clean up crime scene and dump body because we've got to protect Jessica.
>Doesn't tell the frantic sister of the victim that he is dead.
>Later rips off the head of the victim's corpse, desecrating the body, and brings it to a police station.
>Eventually tells the frantic sister the truth.
>Sister tells her, "oh well, you know that's alright Jessica. I can't be mad at you because you're a woman."

I have never hated a character more in all of television history than Jessica Jones. I used to have a huge crush on Kristen Ritter. Now I utterly despise the sound of her voice.

>>82740917
But the sister rounded up the other kilgrave victims to go to her place and kill her

>>82740952
Doesn't matter. Plot convenience. She would have never responded the way she did to the news of her brother's death. She would have been catatonic.

Also not telling her, making her wait, that was truly cruel. JJ is an unsympathetic, loathsome cunt.

>>82740917
Don't forget the part where she screwed over her junkie friend so she could steal evidence

>>82740987
>junkie friend screws you over all the time
>steals your food
>have to baby him
>he's actually spying on you for your nemesis

>do one shitty thing back
oh no how could she, she's a monster

>>82741103
I like how she never did anything to help his addiction until she found out he was under kilgrave control

>>82741176
It wasn't her problem until he was under Kilgrave's control. Can't save people from themselves.

>>82740205
>admitting the bladder can relax
>saying it's not a muscle

Spotted the retard

>>82741197
How about his one?
Stop defending her, you cheeky cunt

>>82741384
>How about his one?

eh?

>>82741176
Actually he mentions to her that it's pointless to try and save him, which indicates that she's tried before, although not as drastically as cuffing someone to a radiator and loving him, her way.

>Villain's greatest weakness is ear plugs.

Great writing. No really.

>>82741453
Why did his power stop working on her?

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>>82741473
becasue she BROKE THE CONDITIONING
AAAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAHHHH!! AAAAAAARGHHH!!

It's gonna be interesting to see in the next Daredevil if Paige goes complete psycho on Matt or just pure waterfall now that she knows he's the devil of hell's kitchen.

>>82741453
>took them 12 episodes to try ear plugs

Great writing.

>>82741848
She's an alcoholic, logic isn't her strong suit

>>82740824

Just finished filming, I too am keen to watch some Frankino

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>>82740298

This was actually a great show if you ignore the way the season ended. That final "showdown" was so fucking anticlimactic.

>>82744091
That was the point. She's so cynical she doesn't even get a big bombastic ending

>>82740624
>100% able-bodied
I get what you're trying to say and I agree with you but Matt is very much blind.

>>82744194
He's the equivalent of a deaf person with a cochlear implant. Wants to pretend he's disabled while suffering none of the consequences

>>82741384
>defending
Wah-waah

Am I the only one that likes JJ over all the other Marvel Netflix shows?

>>82736754
Sounds like a massive cliche and something to be avoided. I like the picture though.

>>82744240
Yes, quite possibly

>>82741473
Because fuck you. No more questions.

>>82744091
I found it really frustrating how she fucked up so many chances to kill Kilgrave for her dumb plan to rescue the girl in prison as if illegally detaining him and forcing a confession out of him had any value in a court.
And then she ends up dying anyway.

>>82744240
I'm pretty sure that even the cast of JJ prefer DD

>>82744240
I like JJ more than DD, because I like the story more, but DD has better action and Fisk who is the best character.

>>82741384
But who will defend The Defenders™?

>>82745824
This. JJ is better overall.

>>82746082
Dr Strange