[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Free Show | Home]

Oooohhh...Meh woh ket u bek...stiso bada fiddy bak?

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 311
Thread images: 72

File: 876876.jpg (62KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]
876876.jpg
62KB, 1280x720px
Oooohhh...Meh woh ket u bek...stiso bada fiddy bak?
>>
File: seagal leave no MRE behind.webm (3MB, 708x392px) Image search: [Google]
seagal leave no MRE behind.webm
3MB, 708x392px
>450,000 people [laughs]
>>
>>79622060

Why is he so fat?

Why did they think making a special forces operative who waddles was a good idea?

Did they want the movie to fail?
>>
>>79622101
He's an experienced veteran therefore he's stronger than everyone
>>
File: seagal tacticool.webm (231KB, 708x392px) Image search: [Google]
seagal tacticool.webm
231KB, 708x392px
>>79622101
He's going to take you to the bank, OP.
The food bank.
>>
what kind of people actually watch his films
>>
>>79622032
Nope
>>
File: punani_carbine.webm (467KB, 708x392px) Image search: [Google]
punani_carbine.webm
467KB, 708x392px
>>79622101
its not fat. Its muscle
>>
>>79622199
Nobody, they are just money laundering schemes
>>
Between this, John Wick and Sicario I think we're in for an age of top tier operator-Kino
>>
>>79622060
Was he stealing MRE's?
>>
>>79622032
>>
File: seagal shoulder.webm (1MB, 708x392px) Image search: [Google]
seagal shoulder.webm
1MB, 708x392px
>>79622321
He was rescuing them from the terrorists
>>
>>79622199
Patriots.
>>
File: shitwassoaikido.jpg (23KB, 242x250px) Image search: [Google]
shitwassoaikido.jpg
23KB, 242x250px
>>79622386
Russian patriots or American patriots?
>>
>>79622369
>>79622371
why does he hold the rifle like that?
>>
File: seagal operator.webm (573KB, 640x356px) Image search: [Google]
seagal operator.webm
573KB, 640x356px
>>79622474
Because he's snatching every motherfucker birthday
>>
>>79622590
The guy literally next to him holds it propely, yet this retard not? How is this possible.
>>
File: seagal cozy.webm (671KB, 708x392px) Image search: [Google]
seagal cozy.webm
671KB, 708x392px
>>79622889
He operates on another level
>>
File: float.webm (191KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]
float.webm
191KB, 1280x720px
True Operator threads are my favourite
>>
>>79622889
>>79622474
Because he's wearing body armor. He's being a retard though, because he should have collapsed the stock instead. He obviously has no real combat experience.
>>
>>79622156
>>79622260
This has to be a joke.
>>
>>79622972
Except he was an actual Spec Ops and currently trains the Serbian elite forces. You are just a sad virgin that has to hate anyone that actually achieves greatness out of petty jealousy
>>
>>79623100
The only joke here is the cover of the DVD, look at that fucking shoop
>>
File: 1445884519448.png (244KB, 429x367px) Image search: [Google]
1445884519448.png
244KB, 429x367px
>>79623161
Go home Steven.

>>79623169
Jesus
>>
>>79623100

Yeah, he looks like a complete retard while he fires off those last few shots without looking but I've seen plenty of footage from Funker where dudes do the exact same thing before they run off to different cover. He just looks super stupid doing it, and obviously you wouldn't put in any decent war movie because of how goofy it looks.

As for the second webm, and the other ones where he switches shoulders. Seagal claims that they's ambidextrous and can be right eye or left eye dominant at will. This is him keeping up the charade in the movie by moving the gun from one shoulder to another.

It's fucking absolutely retarded, but I will grant him that if he was using an ambi gun (he isn't obv.), that when he swaps from one shoulder to the other at the end of the clip before going around the corner it makes sense.

It's just him LARPing though and it's dumb as fuck, but he believes he can do these things or at least tells people he believes he can do these things.

I am surprised no one has posted the webms of him fighting like twenty dudes using a sword he literally pulls out of his fucking suit like "nothing personnel kid."
>>
>>79623169
Am I the only one seeing a soda can sized schlong there?
>>
>>79623169

>Van Damme

Wait, what?

Van Damme hates Seagal, and I've never seen any clips of him in this movie.
>>
>>79623206
>It's just him LARPing though
That's exactly how it comes off. He's just acting out his fantasies and you just KNOW that the whole time he's thinking "Fuck yeah, real op coming through, fucking badass yeeaaah", when really he just looks like some fat guy playing airsoft.
>>
>>79623237
No anon, this is a former wrestler called Rob Van Dam, although I'm sure they were intending for their to be some confusion (i.e. "Van Dam is in this!")
>>
>>79623252

My favorite thing about this movie is that they had to get another guy to play him in scenes he didn't film.

Somebody post the fucking clip where he's in the room that gets hit with a mortar and you can tell it's a completely different guy.

>>79623281

Okay, now that I believe. Because there's no fucking way JCVD would do a movie with Seagal. It's like when they used to trick you with "STALLONE" on the cover and they meant Frank Stallone.
>>
>>79623237
The other one from dubya dubya eee.
>>
>>79622924
Someone please post the screenshot with the drawing of the mechanics of their movement underneath.
>>
File: 1475271838194.jpg (476KB, 699x1000px) Image search: [Google]
1475271838194.jpg
476KB, 699x1000px
I bet Seagal was pissed when Eastwood chose Bradley Cooper to portrait Chris Kyle

So he thought "i can do better sniper flick than that old fart"
>>
>>79622924

WHAT THE FUCK!
>>
Keep posting lads, going to start my own Seagull folder
>>
File: Seagull.webm (914KB, 636x352px) Image search: [Google]
Seagull.webm
914KB, 636x352px
>>79624208
last one I have
>>
>>79623169
how did they manage to make it look like literally every object was photoshopped in?
>>
>>79624237

who's he talking to
>>
>>79624296
The guy in the memory he's recalling
>>
File: 1475575138966.png (596KB, 1934x1282px) Image search: [Google]
1475575138966.png
596KB, 1934x1282px
>>79624052
>>
File: Slap Fu.webm (2MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]
Slap Fu.webm
2MB, 1920x1080px
>>79624208
>>
>>79622590
@0.06seconds you almost get a side-on view of him. Jesus
>>
>>79624422
>>79624454
God bless.
>>
>>79622156
>>79622032
>>79622060

He looks like a Ninja Turtle or something.
>>
>>79622924

Is he operating on roller blades?
>>
>>79622199
my dad
>>
>>79622032

where's the link to the video god damnit, i want to hear him say this
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUjPz7BKjlM
>>
File: Ryūjin no ken wo kurae.webm (3MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]
Ryūjin no ken wo kurae.webm
3MB, 1280x720px
HES FAST
>>
>>79624917
Nice ult, definitely POTM
>>
>>79622924
Can anyone explain this one?

Surely hes not standing on some sort of skateboard being dragged along?
>>
>>79624078
Lel those crosseyes
>>
me want the punani
>>
>>79624208
here you go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evd5aWcg0Hc

pure kinomatographiè
>>
>>79624078
Why's he shooting into the ground?
>>
File: Punani seduction.webm (3MB, 730x406px) Image search: [Google]
Punani seduction.webm
3MB, 730x406px
>>79625144
>>
>>79625147
A better question is why does he only have 2 katanas.
>>
Anyone got a link to that one where he gives a bomb to some guy in a cubicle or something?
>>
This is post-acting acting. The actor only has to be in the scene to symbolize a trope, and it's up to the viewers to infer what's meant to be happening. It's pretty fucking kino.
>>
>>79625180
Is Seagal a /nevernude/ ?

Post the other webm where he seduces some woman without removing any of his clothes.
>>
File: Stripper Kino.webm (1MB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]
Stripper Kino.webm
1MB, 640x360px
>>79625258

I have this one, but I am missing the one where she is dancing in front of the painting of his album cover
>>
>>79622972
Why are you saying that as if having combat experience is common in the West? Most soldiers have never been in a combat situation. Even the ones who get deployed more often then not just sit around on a base and fuck around. Even going on patrols they may never encounter a terrorizer. They just hand out bottles of water and Snickers bars to emaciated Arabs and call it a day.
>>
>>79625352
was it rape?
>>
File: Picking up punani.webm (854KB, 878x472px) Image search: [Google]
Picking up punani.webm
854KB, 878x472px
How do I get to this smooth?
>>
>>79625248
EASY
>>
File: truejstc.jpg (282KB, 800x1200px) Image search: [Google]
truejstc.jpg
282KB, 800x1200px
>>79625147
Its a Seagal thang
>>
File: Easy.webm (206KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]
Easy.webm
206KB, 640x360px
>>79625248
>>79625529

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dakhzl2SBQ
>>
Anyone have that picture of his album's wikipedia article where everything was edited to say punani?
>>
>>79625406
Western nations usually can afford to give their soldiers training, which covers things like how to properly use your weapon. I know thats a foreign concept to Russians who think the proper way to train infantry is to let some illiterate beat them up and then pass around the hepatitis needles.
>>
>not posting the best seagull video ever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ORZPExIKLY
>>
>>79625628
Okay but training =/= combat experience. I don't know if you are that other anon or not but training gets you ready for combat but it is not the same thing as real combat obviously. He / You probably meant to say training and not combat experience.
>>
>>79624078
why the fuck is he shooting at the ground?

that poster is retarded as fuck
>>
>>79625502
Did he speak English during this scene?
>>
>>79622199
my mum actually. i've wanted most of his stuff up till 2000 or so
>>
>>79622199

My dad watches any new Seagal flick that pops up on Netflix. He usually plays on his tablet while they play in the background.
>>
File: Punani.jpg (309KB, 1723x942px) Image search: [Google]
Punani.jpg
309KB, 1723x942px
>>79625612
Here ya go famalam..
>>
>>79625147
>>79625688
It's an edit you silly billies.

The real one is a few posts above.
>>
>>79625737
kek
>>
File: 1456129324153.jpg (45KB, 500x406px) Image search: [Google]
1456129324153.jpg
45KB, 500x406px
>>79625737
You're a hero
>>
>Here's that Infinity I was telling you about

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wnw08iNb51U
>>
>>79625907
>so do i actually enunciate or can i just mumble my lines?
>who cares, this whole movie is just a money laundering scheme for the serbian mafia
>>
>>79625352
>>
>>79625938
subtle ad placement for the picture
>>
File: 1469469899571.jpg (160KB, 760x430px) Image search: [Google]
1469469899571.jpg
160KB, 760x430px
>>79625737
>>
>>79625934
>we'll just get someone else to dub it
>NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YXl5uh2CLs
>>
>>79622032
>>79624691

at first when I read OP's post I imagined he was speaking Arabic or some other Eastern Language slowly in sort of Jabba The Hut-like manner.

kek'd heartily
>>
>>79622199

I watched it because I wanted to see how bad Seagal movies had become in 2016, and I picked this one because it had the lowest imdb rating at 3.0.

Turns out it's a decent war/action movie if you ignore the fact that it's not a Seagal movie and not really about sniping either. Seagal has like five minutes of screen time and spends most of it sitting in a chair, but other than that it's okay.
>>
>>79624454
deus ex hamburger revolution
>>
File: birthday snatcher.png (36KB, 884x332px) Image search: [Google]
birthday snatcher.png
36KB, 884x332px
>>
>>79625737

I seem to have lost my sides
>>
>>79626235
/tv/ and meme actor reddit amas are always a recipe for success
>>
>>79626235
>>
>>79622060
> /k/ user does a tour in Afghanistan
>>
how is there still a market for this crap? This isn't 1987
>>
>>79626354
In some countries it might as well still be 1987
>>
>>79626389
any shithole can download Sicario
>>
>>79626354
Money laundering
>>
>>79622101
>Why is he so fat?
He's storing food so he has something to rely on when he's behind enemy lines. This is actually ingenious.
>>
File: 1472581325014.jpg (77KB, 1200x630px) Image search: [Google]
1472581325014.jpg
77KB, 1200x630px
>>79626431

How can one man be so amazing?
>>
>>79626412
yeah but they wouldn't appreciate it
>>
>>79626412
why would they want to though
>>
>>79622101
>>Why is he so fat?
>organ protection
>energy reserves
>elements resistance
>can quickly roll downhill when in trouble
>slanted surface tougher for projectile to penetrate
more like, why isn't every marine fat?
>>
Can someone give me a quick rundown on this punani meme?
>>
>>79625934

I think it's just Seagal improvising, showing off his actual gun collection, while the director prays he'll continue for another ten minutes so he can get even more filler for the mandatory 75 minute runtime, and the other actors are just confused and waiting for him to say cut. The reaction shots of them, which still look out of place, are obviously added in post.

This is most evident because Seagal keeps repeating "that I was telling you about", leading me to believe he's talking to an actor or the director in reference to one of his previous behinds the scenes firearm circle jerk tirades, and not as a character.
>>
>>79626503
"quick" and "run" don't enter into it
>>
>>79623230
Steven Seagal is known to be THE most hung guy in hollywood, possibly one of the biggest in the world. his cock has been described as "like an evian bottle", with gargantual thickness that would rival shane diesel and shorty mac. im estimating his size to be at least 8.5" bone pressed, with OVER 7" of girth.
>>
>>79626455
How fuck he left that place alive?
>>
>>79626503
https://youtu.be/3v4-zYghodc?t=19
>>
File: Laughing Harambe.jpg (112KB, 297x405px) Image search: [Google]
Laughing Harambe.jpg
112KB, 297x405px
>>79624237
>[DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN]
>>
>>79626546
meme action stars are adored in totalitarian shitholes, didn't you see Rodman in Best korea?
>>
File: ZRA76Af.png (604KB, 1440x1658px) Image search: [Google]
ZRA76Af.png
604KB, 1440x1658px
>>79626289
Remember this glorious day?
>>
>>79626546
>WELCOME TO BELARUS
>HERE IS COMPLIMENTARY CARROT BECAUSE WE HAVE ENOUGH FOOD FOR FEEDING EVERYONE CITIZENS
>>
>>79626027

Dubbing and ADR are par the course for modern Seagalkino:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d1In78YppuA
>>
>>79626584
of courshe
>>
File: cobra-poster.jpg?w=804.jpg (316KB, 804x1199px) Image search: [Google]
cobra-poster.jpg?w=804.jpg
316KB, 804x1199px
actionkino thread?
>>
File: BEST SONG.jpg (179KB, 1397x651px) Image search: [Google]
BEST SONG.jpg
179KB, 1397x651px
All right which one of you fuckers did this?
>>
>>79626682

This is a 6/10 at best tbqh.
>>
>>79626682
Why is the laser bigger than the gun?
>>
File: 1479661309120.png (200KB, 265x342px) Image search: [Google]
1479661309120.png
200KB, 265x342px
>>79626682
>Stallone
>washed up and out of work after being in a couple of popular films
>Seagal
>Still kicking ass in Russia, the toughest country on the planet; stars in actionkino every week in between sword fights with Putin
Take your shit taste and leave this thread
>>
>>79626792
the laser is the gun
>>
File: longslide2.jpg (46KB, 640x438px) Image search: [Google]
longslide2.jpg
46KB, 640x438px
>>79626792
80s lasers, pic related is from Terminator
>>
>>79626649
truly a real human bean.
>>
>>79626774
pleb

>wears shades in pitch-black shootout inside abandoned factory
>when he drives off with the girl on his motorcycle right into the sunset - no shades
>name is Cobretti just to force the Cobra meme
>scene where he rips some dude's shirt and his lav mic is super obvious
>obligatory catwalk standoff plus factory lever that spews fire for literally no reason
>>
>first Depardieu
>now Seagall
is Putin building an A team out of unemployed 65yo 250lbs actors?
>>
>>79626883

I like Stallone and cheesy 80s action, but Cobra didn't really impress me. Some cool moments, but that's it.
>>
>>79626584
I INTONED IT MEANING "I'M A BIG GUY FOR YOU"
>>
>>79622199

Slavs. They also watch his "concerts"
>>
>>79624917
It's so retarded I can't comprehend this. Why did guy with gun attempt to close distance instead of running around table while shooting?
Why are other guys running at him unarmed? didn't they hear about swords before?
Or maybe it's suicide clinic in Norway and Seagal is their death pill? After watching it I actually feel like using this option.
>>
File: 1470863470281.jpg (42KB, 558x564px) Image search: [Google]
1470863470281.jpg
42KB, 558x564px
>>79626584

TheMosquitoMan : Hey Steven! I would like you to tell me about tom. Why does he wear the mask?

Steven_Knight : Because he's ugly.

bigguys4u : LOTTA ANGER FOR A BAD DIRECTOR
>>
File: punanis_internally.gif (1MB, 360x200px) Image search: [Google]
punanis_internally.gif
1MB, 360x200px
>>79624208
>>
Is there any way to contact seagul? I just want to express how much I hate the garbage he makes.
>>
>>79627245

his Twitter
>>
>>79622199
Russians are in love with this shit.
>>
File: Snap1.png (588KB, 1233x647px) Image search: [Google]
Snap1.png
588KB, 1233x647px
>>79624917

What is Zack Snyder doing in a Seagal movie?
>>
>>79622199
I watch them ironically
>>
>>79625502
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E1NFckaDqU
>>
>>79626320
i need an edit of the first part of the webm, that's a reaction gif if i ever saw one
>>
File: Aragorn steps on a lego.gif (1MB, 454x304px) Image search: [Google]
Aragorn steps on a lego.gif
1MB, 454x304px
>>79624772
This is on the level of the Lethal Weapon sequels from it's always sunny, they even have the same cheesy blues lick at the end of the scene
>>
File: oo.webm (136KB, 640x358px) Image search: [Google]
oo.webm
136KB, 640x358px
>>79628080
>>
>>79628197
Not the anon that requested but thanks youre awesome. Ungrateful turd...
>>
File: Sunset.webm (2MB, 830x466px) Image search: [Google]
Sunset.webm
2MB, 830x466px
>>
>>79625180
someone post the pasta

please, I can'r find it
>>
>>79629211
didn't know you can make animations in paint. impressive
>>
>>79629211
it's like fast-forward bullet time or something
>>
>>79629211
24 HOURS REMAIN
>>
>>79625737
>Ballad of Bobby Lupo

Kek
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnw08iNb51U
>>
>>79625633
>everything he does in the movies is actually a real deal
whoa... truly the master of cqc...
>>
>>79626774
The pizza cutting scene alone makes it 11/10, you pleb
>>
File: 1462378924583.jpg (133KB, 720x718px) Image search: [Google]
1462378924583.jpg
133KB, 720x718px
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkskuSXqUD0
>>
>>79622032
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, the French Champaignwuhjfshkhjsjk
>>
>>79622924
He's probably the only person on the planet still using hellys.
>>
Does someone have the sword fight webm against the guy wearing white?
>>
File: Sword kino.webm (2MB, 854x480px) Image search: [Google]
Sword kino.webm
2MB, 854x480px
>>79630599
>>
>>79622972
Most plates come with cuts in the top corners to accommodate the stock. You're supposed to put the stock directly on the plate or move it slightly to the right so it fits right in the crack between your shoulder and chest. He's just being retarded.
>>
My favorite part of the Seagal threads is the list of times he beat up on stuntmen and demanded directors change the movie to make him look cooler.
>>
>>79630640
Wow. Probably broke the sound barrier near the end.
>>
File: steven.png (17KB, 181x198px) Image search: [Google]
steven.png
17KB, 181x198px
>tfw your hot teenage daughter snorts coke and sucks cock because you're Steven Seagal
>>
>>79625094
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLe_BZ1mo3I
>>
>>79622060
he stole that guy's pizzas!
>>
File: Punani Snatched.webm (1MB, 830x466px) Image search: [Google]
Punani Snatched.webm
1MB, 830x466px
>>79630954

That's some babymaking music. Literally impossible not to conceive to this.
>>
>>79622369
Reminded me he ran over a puppy with a tank. Thanks.
>>
>>79631009
>tfw no gf
>>
>>79622032
Steven Seagall is fucking straight to dvd kino
the fight scenes are fucking hilarious and not found in any other films
also reddit hates this guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_cKAadvooQ
>>
>>79631490
>those fucking sound effects
>>
>>79628197
Not that anon either, but thanks for this dude.
>>
>>79625907
>Amazing gun lonwaisubuddy got almost 15 rounds in a 45
>Flat fast no... penetration.. distance.. umm velocity
>>
>>79626649
why is that guy's voice dubbed so terribly?

Heybish areyouworkorno? Iwantalapdance
>>
>>79630640
This is just no good without sound

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECBt_ohVJ9M

>that eagle cry
>>
>>79632131
>steven seagal su-
steven seagal is pure live action comics
>>
>>79624454
literally Deus ex
>>
>>79629211
i wish movies did shit like this more often and made things surreal
>>
>>79622032
>>79631858
>>
>>79624454

Which Seagull flick, I mean, kino is this?
I need to watch this right now.
>>
>>79631490
>kniiiiiiives i don't metinorseno.. i've never been someone who coulduuh run from a knifefight

Was it autism?
>>
>>79622199
KKona
>>
>>79630790
>tfw your hot teenage daughter snorts coke and sucks cock because you're Steven Seagal
Explain
>>
>>79624208
>>
>>
>>79631923

aye won dat bar beech to dance fer me

so fahk yew
>>
>>79634473
>>79634439
Those ads were always so cringey.
>>
>>79634631
is that the dojo from the matrix?
>>
>>79622199
Me and my pals watched a seagal movie every night in the week we hung out. Fuckin good time I tell you what.
>>
>>79625592
>EASY..... EASY
What did he mean by this?
>>
>>79622032
I love how he subconsciously rests his rifle on on his paunch through the entire movie.
>>
>>79634716
No, it's a greenscreen.
>>
File: 16272728198.jpg (18KB, 181x198px) Image search: [Google]
16272728198.jpg
18KB, 181x198px
>>79634154
His girl Lisa took some C's and rode some D's because she was ashamed of her Japanophile father.
>>
>>79622032
Does he walk like a Sumo wrestler on purpose? I know he lived in Japan so I figure he saw them and thought to himself they walk very funny and so should I.
>>
>>79624454
Oh shit I heard Hollywood was making a Deus Ex movie. Didn't know it already came out though.
>>
Do slavs actually take him seriously or are they laughing at him like we laugh at slav memes with tracksuits and poverty?
>>
>>79635159
If there is a market for his movies there's people who take him seriously and would pay money for it.
>>
>>79635159
They laugh at him as he launders their money.
This is someone's cue to post the webm of him fucking up the Chechen dance.
>>
File: Seagal Dance.webm (3MB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]
Seagal Dance.webm
3MB, 640x360px
>>79635350
>>
>>79635642
is he autistic
>>
>>79635642
>>79635678
What did he do wrong?
>>
>>79635642
>white "people"
>>
>>79635880
the woman is tryign to get away from him
>>
>>79635903
This mutha aint white
>>
>>79622199
my dad unironically likes him
>>
>>79636010
hahahahah
>>
File: 1440992279838.jpg (25KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]
1440992279838.jpg
25KB, 480x480px
>>79632131
>that messer

As a fa/tg/uy, this pleases me.
>>
>>79622199
he's the john wayne of your pop's generation.
>>
>>79626980
true
pros
>car chase was pure kino
>you're the disease. i'm the cure
>grocery store intro
cons
>no nude scenes with brigitte nielsen in her prime
>crazy biker chick that reminds me of riz from grease was annoyingly typecast stronk
>steel factory climax was lame af. almost as dull and tedious as the overlong saber duel with obi wan vs anakin on mustafasa
>>
>>79636598
your dad is probably not a beta and i'm guessing he is disappointed in you
>>
Can someone give a quick rundown on this video? What the fuck is happening?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b5bG8Rcpxo
>>
File: Big OP.jpg (232KB, 617x579px) Image search: [Google]
Big OP.jpg
232KB, 617x579px
>>
ANYBODY SEEN RICHIEEEE?
>>
>>79638125
Whose hot dog is this? Is it yours?
>>
>>79637867
Lil' Sniper got benched because of a dog (I think) and the fat Samoan is friends with the officer that put him to pasture.
>>
HEY BEACH

ARE YOU WORK HERE OR WHAT?
>>
>>79622590
le olde switheroo
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfNW1ERej0A
>>
>>79638378
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1In78YppuA
>>
>>79638591

What the fuck is going on here? Was the bald man dubbed by Tommy Wiseau?
>>
>>79638591
Oh hi Mark
>>
>>79638591
Tommy Wiasau is so afraid of Seagal that he has to possess a bald man to do his acting
>>
>>79622199
my dad loves Seagal

he's in on the whole 'it's shit' thing but he enjoys them anyway
>>
File: 1339972280001.jpg (4KB, 200x190px) Image search: [Google]
1339972280001.jpg
4KB, 200x190px
>>79628197
You're a true patriot, anon
Thanks
>>
How can his actual work be even worse or better than some ridiculous shit based on him
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB-naKTN-eE
>>
> According to John Leguizamo in his autobiography, Steven Seagal physically attacked him during filming in an effort to scare the cast and crew. Leguizamo claimed that he had laughed at something that Seagal said, thinking it was a joke, but Seagal proved him wrong by elbowing him against a wall.

>The movie was originally over 30 minutes longer, which included some more plot details and character development. Steven Seagal cut some of William Forsythe's scenes because he felt that Forsythe was upstaging him

> Steven Seagal allegedly was in the cutting room for the editing process, vetting takes, causing friction between himself, the director and the editor.

> During this production Steven Seagal started wearing a girdle to contain his stomach, this was apparently a temporary fix as he intended to lose the excess weight eventually. This has not occurred

> When Danish stuntman and actor Sven-Ole Thorsen met Steven Seagal on the set, he was asked by Seagal to kick him to show what Sven-Ole was capable of. Sven-Ole hesitantly kicked Seagal, who caught his leg and threw him to the ground. Seagal asked Sven-Ole to kick him again, giving it his best shot. Sven-Ole kicked him as fast and hard as he could and Seagal fell to the ground. When shooting a scene together a day or two later Seagal hit Sven-Ole in the throat, resulting in Sven-Ole being knocked out for 3-4 seconds. It looked so realistic that Seagal, the director of the movie, decided that Sven-Ole's character, Otto, died, and Sven-Ole's remaining scenes were cut from the film.
>>
>>79625956
I don't think Steven Seagal is cunning enough for that, he just wanted to decorate his character's apartment and filled it with the stuff in his own home.
>>
>>79627863
Is there more to this? Does this thing even has a context? Was Seagal being meta for the punani?
>>
>>79626682
>Mama Goose wrote this as novelkino
>autistic student Refn watches kino
>makes kino based on previous kino
>casts Baby Goose as the protag
multi-generational pottery
>>
>>79636010
lmao
>>
>>79624917
nothing personnel kid
>>
>>79632131
just like my japanese animes :3
>>
>>79635159
I guess it's just another opportunity for government to point finger and say "hey look another american escaped from the evil land to our motherland, look how sucks there", something like that. No one is actually give a shit.
>>
i need that punani discography senpai
>>
File: 1466642178108.gif (2MB, 320x320px) Image search: [Google]
1466642178108.gif
2MB, 320x320px
>>79635642
>>
File: 1476218511298.webm (3MB, 694x376px) Image search: [Google]
1476218511298.webm
3MB, 694x376px
BEHOLD!
>>
File: Steven Seagal (2).jpg (35KB, 960x720px) Image search: [Google]
Steven Seagal (2).jpg
35KB, 960x720px
>>79622032
*blocks your path*
>>
>>79629211
he walks so slow
>>
>>79642336
Seagal times his steps to achieve maximum energetic efficiency and arrive wherever he's going precisely at the time he meant to be there.
That's why he wears two wrist watches
>>
>>79624917

Not bad actually, pretty realistic. But the animation of the slash in that guy's face was horrid.
>>
File: Untitled.jpg (91KB, 1201x199px) Image search: [Google]
Untitled.jpg
91KB, 1201x199px
>>79642336
>>
>>79642770
Wouldn't he need a weapon AFTER the five minutes have passed?
>>
>>79622060
This might be the the best filename I've ever seen.
>>
>>79622199
My dad. Not sure if he does it ironically or not.
>>
>>79642836
he would need a hotdog after 5 minutes
>>
>>79624296
God
>>
>>79625592
D-Did he jump out of the window while peeing?
>>
File: 1471735694950.webm (266KB, 740x647px) Image search: [Google]
1471735694950.webm
266KB, 740x647px
>people posting my seagal webms without permission
>>
File: David Duke's Pinball Adventure.png (1MB, 946x719px) Image search: [Google]
David Duke's Pinball Adventure.png
1MB, 946x719px
>>79627103
>using a d list celebrity to sudoku you
>not getting someone better like a crackhead or a hooker
>>
>>79644034
what you gonna do about it?
>>
File: 1484910998306.webm (1MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]
1484910998306.webm
1MB, 1280x720px
>>79644141
get my personal backup ready, obviously
>>
>>79644168
lmao, do you even have any not ugly gun?
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2717AbGPoMw
>>
>>79622371
>Checks the ceiling

>Twice

Fucking hell Steve
>>
File: 1457680094326.webm (2MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]
1457680094326.webm
2MB, 1280x720px
>>79644446
here's that infinity i was tellinyabout
amazinggun
veryaccurate
spectacular
>>
>>79625737
>First single premiered on KYSR
pottery
>>
>>79645109
Gotta double check for them spiderbots.
>>
>>79636010

kek'd
>>
>>79624917
rare footage of genji destroying talon operatives
>>
>>79625180
>ywn marry an asian that cute
JIDMSA
>>
>>79626649

lol that fuckin russian microsoft sam voice
>>
>>79624422
OOhh Fuckin checked, also I'm laughing so hard. Got a major cold and the chuckles do me good.
>>
>>79625592
goddam kino.
>>
>>79623206

it doesn't really matter if it's ambi if you have to cut a left handed corner super closely. but it does help if you're actually playing airsoft.
>>
>>79626792
truly a question for /k/

pls to report back
>>
Test
>>
>>79628197
not the requesting anon but this is excellent!!! thx!

p.s. what software did you use?
>>
>>79622032
He should just tuck the rifle underneath his chin and hold it there.
That way both his hands are free
>>
File: 600px-TERMSE_SIDEA-22.jpg (42KB, 600x326px) Image search: [Google]
600px-TERMSE_SIDEA-22.jpg
42KB, 600x326px
>>79647594

The lasers in the 80s were fuckhuge and consumed a lot of power.

Remember this in Terminator 1? Arnold had a power cable running up his jacket to run it.
>>
>>79639496
lol, what other actors have been the Steven Seagals of their day? Film history buffs?
>>
>>79627297

making kino
>>
>>79644891
damn i wish i coudl do that
>>
>>79622369
thanks, I forgot to be embarrassed to live here for a moment
>>
File: 1485386948197.jpg (18KB, 636x466px) Image search: [Google]
1485386948197.jpg
18KB, 636x466px
>>79625938
>>
File: steven-seagal.jpg (221KB, 670x505px) Image search: [Google]
steven-seagal.jpg
221KB, 670x505px
>>79644891
>I'm takin' this car, bitch
>>
YE SHALL NOT DIE!
>>
>>79624454
Damn! Only a slap in the forehead and he finished him! What a badass.
>>
File: 1398490224141.png (412KB, 715x690px) Image search: [Google]
1398490224141.png
412KB, 715x690px
>>79626322
You know nothing of /k/
>>
>>79650192
Post the edit where he's got a foot long cock.
>>
>>79648328
Imagine
>>
File: 0ZxcSUs.png (457KB, 715x690px) Image search: [Google]
0ZxcSUs.png
457KB, 715x690px
>>79650471
>>
>>79650622
Theeeeeeeere it is
>>
File: 53533564623.png (160KB, 360x358px) Image search: [Google]
53533564623.png
160KB, 360x358px
>>79626584
> My question got voted down so hard it's fucking upsetting
>>
>>79628130
The best part of Seagalkino though is that it's 100% serious and badass, at least from Seagal's perspective.
>>
>>79624917
Has Segal ever even been punched in one of his movies?
>>
>>79634859
>>79625592
CAN SOMEONE PLS ANSWER
>>
>>79625352
literally didnt even lose the leather jacket
>>
>>79644891
Jesus christ
He sure didn't lie thid time
>>
>>79651300
I think because of his terrible ass editing some shit ends up making no sense. Obviously there was something, but was cut from the movie for some reason, that's just my opinion.
>>
File: 1487304556654.jpg (522KB, 4494x5000px) Image search: [Google]
1487304556654.jpg
522KB, 4494x5000px
>>79644891
>>
>>79626529
kek
>>
File: 1486930583140.gif (2MB, 389x279px) Image search: [Google]
1486930583140.gif
2MB, 389x279px
And I thought Stallone flicks were terrible. wew.

>There are still people who claim you need any sort of talent to be part of Hollywood
>>
>>79625737
>"Punani" (with Bo Diddley)
>>
>This thread

How can Keanu Reeves even compete?
>>
File: wrong.gif (1MB, 480x287px) Image search: [Google]
wrong.gif
1MB, 480x287px
>>79651824
>Stallone flicks were terrible
>>
>>79651824
He produces the films himself, and only Russians are braindead enough to actually buy them.
>>
>>79622924
I'm laughing at this like I haven't laughed at anything in a while.
>>
>>79651935
Now to elaborate, I don't mean all Stallone flicks were terrible, only the ones made in new millenium. Pre-2000 Stallone is awesome.
>>
>>79622032

>'m gona tek u doodah benk..... thu blud benk

What did he mean by this?
>>
>>79625556
Why is he shooting .38 special out of a semi-auto?
>>
who /badman/ here?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsXabeuK2PE
>>
>>79651300
>>79634859
>EASY
>EZ
>Echo Zulu
>Black man repeating himself
Do you understand just how deep and tiered every line of Seagalkino is?
>>
>>79651924
I waiting for the Seagal's John Wick knock off

even most of his career has essentially been that
>>
>>79622199
Slavs and people who go to Trump rallies
>>
>>79652054
Forget that where the fuck are the casings coming from? Thats now how physics work.
>>
>>79652101
peebuhl kep ask if im bak

yeahhh think im mother fuck bak
>>
>>79627103
My dad would be happy if I solved my sodoku with Seagal.
>>
>>79651526
>>79652091
I think.......... we're getting somewhere...............
>>
>>79622060
I absolutely love the tactical holding up of the belt by the pistol grip.
>>
I heard his hair is spray on
>>
File: Blimeymooney.png (96KB, 1106x1012px) Image search: [Google]
Blimeymooney.png
96KB, 1106x1012px
>>79625737
>Penetrate me with your massive erection you homosexual
>>
>>79642128
No way
>>
>>79624772
>the fuck are you doing in my place

I'm overwhelmed with a desire to put this line in everything I'll ever write.
>>
>>79622060
fun fact: this scene had to be reshot several times. Steven couldn't stand up from the kneeling position without pushing himself off the actor on the ground, and every time he did the actor would groan.
>>
File: 1467987615017.jpg (32KB, 410x396px) Image search: [Google]
1467987615017.jpg
32KB, 410x396px
>>79625592
>picking up a packedge with both arms while holding a gun
This triggers me the most
>>
>>79622590
its rumored that Seagal mastered the switcheroo and was improvised on set
Thread posts: 311
Thread images: 72


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


If you need a post removed click on it's [Report] button and follow the instruction.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com.
If you like this website please support us by donating with Bitcoins at 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties.
Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site.
This means that RandomArchive shows their content, archived.
If you need information for a Poster - contact them.