Why did Newman kidnap Elaine?

to gain the attention and ultimately the affection of Jerry.

Duh.

>>78948156
They both need each other

It's called "inter-dependency" and they both know it. Newman, does terrible things to Jerry. Nasty even sadistic things, but that's fine as long as that's what Jerry wants.

Think about it. His actions. He's always asking for it. it's his partner's job, to fulfill that need, and Jerry knows that.

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Why did he use her face as a mask?

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"Your mother says "hi" Jerome, MUAHAHAHAHA!"

Because the male never stops

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"I tell ya Georgie Boy, that Newman fella did me a favor."

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"Everything comes at a price, Georgie. MUAHAHAHA!"

holy fuck what is happening in this thread

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>>78949818
>>78949238
>>78948494
>>78948888
>>78948118
...

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wtf

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>>78948118
I only know why I would kidnap Elaine.

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>>78949912
>>78949920
cat thread?

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"Look at him, Jerome! You did this to him!"

I-I don't like this thread

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"I'm sorry, Newman! Sorry for everything I've done!"

"It's too late for apologies, Jerome. MUAHAHAHA!"

This is autism in it's truest form.

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>tfw this entire thread

i saw these years ago in sc2g and they still bother me as much as they did back then

This really good at making people uncomfortable for some reason.
Maybe because this sort of thing is so foreign to seinfeld.

This is what it must have been like for people watching "silent night deadly night" for the first time.

Well done OP

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I wonder if Jerry has ever seen one of these threads on accident

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Let the record show: the trash has been taken out.

BAHAHAHAHA!

jesus christ this thread

Good thread op, keep it going

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Why.

>>78950838
It's getting hot under these lights isn't it Seinfeld?
OH WAIT YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING AGAIN CAN YOU JERRY?

best thread on tv today

:golfclap:

I like these threads OP, keep em coming.

>>78948494
um to open doors to inter dimensional realms? Why else?

The fuck is going on in this thread

>>78951219
OP seems to be from an alternate reality where Newman became jigsaw

*bookmarks thread*

This is some good shit.

>>78950822
I'm not feeling it at all. I feel it would kinda fit as joke in the show, making Newman seem crazy.

>>78948118
I once found an xvideo of some movie Elaine was in where she got nailed doggystyle. Now I can't find it anywhere.

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>OP got murdered before he could post the rest

>>78952034
But... By who?

How can I make my own murder newman edits?

>>78952093
MS paint

>>78952055
Tim Whatley

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>>78952126
MS Paint can only get you so far

Someone on /tv/ has fapped to these images.

There’s a story about a "lost" episode of Seinfeld floating around the internet.

The episode was supposed to air around season six, but it was mysteriously cut. The “official” story about the episode was that it featured Elaine purchasing a firearm after being mugged, but many elements about this episode were never revealed until recently. NBC Executives refused to officially report on the episode until the Seinfeld season six DVD commentary. I have the tape but as someone who works within NBC, unfortunately I can’t reveal my sources.

I work at the GE building in Rockefeller Plaza, and I have access to their digital archives. That’s as much as I can divulge. We also have the entire original Seinfeld series in multiple formats, including original reels and VHS tapes. I noticed an episode with the production code “607” was missing from the tape set, and it was relocated in a set of old news reels. The replacement episode “The Mom and Pop Store” was filmed a season later to replace the missing episode. It is oddly titled “The Mason”.

The episode starts out as normal, with Jerry’s apartment, but the camera is much more steady. Jerry walks out as though he’s been drugged and remarks that all of his family and friends have been dying lately. His buzzer rings and it’s George. George runs up, half crying and tells Jerry he’s seen something terrible. He’s mumbling and stuttering for about five minutes until he can form a sentence. There are still pauses for humor, but there is no audience or laugh track. George informs Jerry that planes have crashed into the twin towers due to a terrorist attack on New York.

>>78952584
Jerry turns on the news and you can see modern footage of the 9/11 attacks, all pré-filmed several years beforehand. George says that isn't the worst part: Elaine and Kramer were in the towers at the time of the bombing. What proceeds is a graphic and explicit phone call of screaming and crying and Kramer saying that something terrible has happened, and Elaine is dead. Kramer screams there’s no air in the building, and he’s burning to death, and that he’s going to jump.

The camera cuts to live footage of a man falling from the twin towers. George genuinely looks upset and says “I’m sorry Larry, but I can’t go through with this” and he tries to walk off the set, but people stop him and push him towards the stage. He walks out Jerry’s prop window and you can hear him calling his agent. There’s a lot of mumbling, and you can see candles being lit behind the stage.

Jerry goes over to the bookcase and pulls it aside, revealing a ceremonial black table with candles, a dinner plate, and a strange box. There is a Masonic symbol against black cloth just outside where the fake stage window would be. Jerry says some weird things in a foreign dialect, and one cut of the camera shows a poster of Barack Obama (This episode originally aired in 1995). The scene ends with Jerry waking up in bed, as though it’s all a nightmare. Kramer comes in and asks if Jerry has seen a lizard. Jerry laughs and says “We are the lizards” and the camera zooms slightly. His eyes become slivered, like almonds.

The tape is only seven minutes long, and what proceeds is just twenty minutes of dead air. If you continue watching to the end, it seems there are three more news reports tacked on. The first is about an outbreak of swine flu, the second about a train bombing, and the third...

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>>78952584
>>78952613
chills every time

>>78948952
Underrated post

>>78952613
>>78952584
The third WHAT

>>78951944
I need to know this film's title, for r-research purposes of course.

>>78952807
The GE employee is widely believed to have been apprehended or otherwise stopped just prior to revealing the third news event—but not before he could hit SEND

>>78952584
>>78952613
Didn't know Seinfeld had creepypasta

Neat

>>78952840
it was the woody allen film she did, deconstructing henry

>>78953100
Is there such a thing as good creepypasta? This is lame, as is every other creepypasta I've ever read.

>>78952613
>and the third...

Yes what tell us!

>>78953264
probably doesn't qualify as creepypasta but
https://www.wattpad.com/141773361-various-horror-stories-blowfly-girl

definitely not creepypasta but also great
http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts

what the fuck

this fucking thread is wonderfully disturbing in an odd funny way

>>78952840
>>78953199
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lreh3JB1vAQ

>>78952839
how many STD's must Jerry have?

>>78948494
what episode was this?

>>78948118
I can fap to this

>>78953731
"The faceoff"

>>78953503
sorry that blowfly girl version is messed up
here's the good one
http://blowflygirl.blogspot.com/2009/08/here-is-my-maggot-story.html?zx=f37378d2df3b2e5d

good thread

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>this whole thread

>>78953264
The ones I've enjoyed so much that I've reread were Anansi's Goatman Story and Normal Porn for Normal People. The Latter might not click with most people but I like it a lot.

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>MFW this is the start of a hot new SeinMeme

this thread makes me really angry for some reason

these pictures shouldn't exist

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what the fuck is going on here

>>78955290
its called autism

>>78948494

If Jerry pulled that off, would he die?

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>>78955838

>>78955881
RIP clit dick

>>78955838
GIDDYUP

le EPIC new meme

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>>78955978

>>78952584
>>78952613
these seems false

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what the fuck

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>>78948118
Because she needed to be made to understand. she needed to be punished by the only one who knew the truth: that the collective sins of these "friends of jerry" were so numerous and awful, only torture and execution was an acceptable response. Newman killed them all; slowly, and in fitting ways as to how they lived their lives. Kramer was killed first: beaten to a pulp and buried alive in a dumpster until he suffocated. George and Elaine were in turn stabbed for each time they had ever lied (Newman used several knives and stabbed them hundreds of times). jerry was saved for last, and after knowing how all his friends had been taken care of, Newman dressed up as superman and strangled jerry with his bare hands. Newman then reportedly brought his .357 Magnum revolver to the city post office with the intention of killing his postmaster. Arriving at the parking lot, he reportedly ran over his supervisor several times. Subsequently he went into the post office looking for his postmaster. Not finding the postmaster, he went back out to the parking lot and shot his supervisor several times at close range, ostensibly to make sure she was dead. He then reportedly fired several more bullets into the supervisor's car. its not clear what happened next

I didn't think newman was capable of such violence

>>78956568
>Newman dressed up as superman and strangled jerry with his bare hands.
kek

>>78956568
>>78956568
is this serial killer newman copypasta, or is all this shit new?

Is murder newman a new meme?

>>78957237
>new

>>78957237
you never watched all of the show did you?

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what the fuck

>>78948888
fucking disturbing

>>78951944
Deconstructing Harry

Also this is HOF bread

>>78958259
pussy

bump, is there more?

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>>78952387

>>78959524
kek, you got more?

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>>78959540
>Jerry, I am you Father!

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>this thread is still up

>>78959580
are you the one making these?

what do you use for editing?

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>>78948156
NEWMAN

uh oh probably going to have some scary seinfeld dreams now

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>>78959601
No, I've just saved them from another anon.

>Uncle Leo gives his final HELLLOOOOOOOOO

God damnit. I had a weird feeling about this thread, I've been seeing it in the catalog for a while today. Why the fuck do I open things like this at midnight, I knew better

>>78952839
Where's Elaine?

>>78959650
how many of these are there?

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>they call Joe Davola "Crazy"
HAHAHAHAHA

how many "lost episodes" of tv shows actually exist?

>>78959698
I've got 12 and they've all been posted now. I think anon who made them has got more though.

>>78959667
2nd row, 2nd from right. Get your eyes checked

make one of puddi

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>>78948118
Why didn't he kidnap Sally?

>>78959580
>that other face on the wall

>>78959868
>they goyim are beneath us, Jerry
>and the niggers are the lowest among them
>you can't blame me for taking out the trash. Somebody has to do it

there's so many characters you could do this for

>>78955732
It would be extremely painful

>>78953862

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this thread is some weird ass shit

>>78948118
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-6UwDP23s4

did we ever see newman's parents?

>>78960878
No, he killed and ate them back in the 80's

>>78950564
You haven't seen the Frasier extended universe wiki

>>78961060
thats just called Cheers

>>78952839

wow

>>78952584
>>78952613
Not as good as the other Seinfeld 9/11 script that was going around recently.

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>this thread

>>78959861
3rd rock was my shit f a m

>>78948494
>mfw I remember this thread from like a year ago

>>78961095
no, there is a wiki out there that lists about a dozen spinoff series from Frasier involving all the other characters on the show, with each series lasting for many "seasons," each season consisting of 24 episodes, and each episode with its own full wiki page, complete with full descriptive storyline, cast, production code, writer, director, producers, all the usual details, airdates, etc.

We're talking thousands of episodes all told, all completely filled out and descriptive. Wish I had the link, someone here must have it.

>>78961404
and all of it is fake?

Is this thread a pleb filter?

>>78961447
yes, all from some autist(s) imagination

and not dark edgy shit like this thread, but seemingly normal sitcom plots

Roz had a spinoff
Bulldog had one
Martin and Eddie
Niles and Daphne

and there were several more, but I don't remember who they were about

I wish I could make my own newman edits

I have so many ideas

>>78961493
what ideas? I could make them senpai

>>78961557
chinese restaurant guy

puddi

mickey abbott, the midget

jack klompus

so many others

>>78959650
>Are you ashamed of your uncle, Jerry?

>>78959748
There's a pasta for every show, they're all bullshit.

>>78953503
>guts
Wish I hadn't read that one in middle school

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>this thread

I'm afraid to ask

>>78959700
Is that J Peterson?

What FRESH new meem is this? Does it have a name yet

>>78963031
its peterman you fucker!

>>78948494
blast from the past
i remember telling you like two years ago i remember this from like 3 years ago
time flies
how you been seinfeld bro

This is either the best or worst thread I've ever seen and I can't decide which

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>tfw you never found the source for these pictures
>tfw OP made all of these.

is this someone's fetish?

can someone please tell me HOW OP made these

>>78952839
Holy herpes jewman!

Fuck off /b/.

>>78963923
>>>/tv/

>>78963087
It's been around for a few years, OP usually posts it in seinfeld threads for about a month then leaves for 3 years

>>78963740
Photoshop you fucking retard. Seriously how dumb can you be. You disgust me. Don't ever post on my board again

This would have been a better finale episode than the one we got

>>78948118
Is this a new meme?

>>78959650
You should not have saved these. Delete them

I don't know if I should want to continue be reading all of these, but I yet find some that disturbingly compulsive regardless. If it will hard enough, could these became reality?

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>>78964242
Or what?

>>78964273
This is your final warning. If you wish to keep them please cover your windows with black paper for three days.
Do not leave your house all this time and make sure not to open your door to anyone.
At 3 AM every night, light a candle in each room. If someone's knocking on your door, dont answer.
Best of luck

>>78964334
I just deleted them. What the fuck

>>78960046
Newman's a big guy

>>78964334
Aren't these instructions to that midnight game copypasta?

>that episode Newman smoked crack and shot up a methadone clinic

What exactly was Seinfeld trying to convey with that scene?

>>78964453
No. The midnight game requires you to walk around with a candle in the dark. Also you are allowed to leave the house in the morning.

>>78964519
What is wrong with the pictures

>>78964265
what in the flying fuck are you even trying to say

>>78964534
I have reasons to believe they are infected with a virus. The virus might reveal your adress in time.
The guy who made them is obviously mentally unstable. Probably posessed by something.
Years ago i've found a pair of earrings in a field. I took them home and soon enough i've started having nightmares and panick attacks.
I went to a gipsy sorceress in my town and she told me to get rid of the earrings. She gave me the instructions that i gave you saying this is something you must do if you were in possesion of cursed items.
It takes a lot of nerve to go through all of that. But once i did my nightmares involving the door were gone

>>78964334
>Do not leave your house all this time
lol ezee pezee

>>78964700
>I went to a gipsy sorceress in my town
Oh, I can relate. Just a regular Tuesday for me

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>>78964265
>>78964334
>>78964700

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posting seinfeld memes

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>>78964265
Can anyone decipher what the fuck this guy said?

>>78964700
Fuck off /x/.

>>78964792

Tip top KEK

NEWMAN!

>>78964700
anon pls you're scaring me

Well at least we know why Jerry hated Newman. I wouldn't be friends with the guy who flayed my mother's face and wore it to taunt me either.

>>78964409
For a jew

>>78964917
she deserved it

>>78952839
>>78952839
>tfw 30 year old kissless virgin
>see this pic
feels bad man

>>78953264
Ted the Caver is kino

>>78967889
you're fucking retarded

>>78961095
Get ready to have your mind blown buddy.
http://frasierverse.wikia.com/wiki/Frasier_Fan_Spin-off_Wiki

ITT: /pol/ finally loses it

>>78968080
Imagine if someone would invest that much of their time in their education

>>78968465
Some people do.

>>78968080
Literally reads like an actual wiki, what da fuck
They need to hire this guy