ITT: Pokemon are real (An RP thread.) What do you think of synthetic

>>9551544
m2

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>>9551544
Uuuuhhh.
They're cute, Mewtwo at least.
I think he teleported out of here once he saw I was freaking out, I kinda hope he comes back.

Rules n info pls.

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>>9551544
I've had good experiences with most of them.

>>9551485
"Next week at the best. And hey, talking isn't tiring anymore"
"Hop on, day has been slow and all I had was the Internet and a a brain in overdrive with odd thoughts"

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>>9551544
Mewtwo is pretty great. Are there other ones?

>>9551497
I asked some odd guys in Kalos over a week ago, they said he was a particularly murderous M2 unless under the effect of catnip. No genitalia at all, never found out if it enjoyed sex through other ways, if you know what I mean.

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>>9551544
Mewtwo probably. Or that doggo thing.
>33: Roll to get some levels at the battle tree.
Anything interesting happening tonight?

>>9551745
(I think the backstory on Magearna was that she was designed to replace her creator's daughter, so there would only be one?)

>>9551747
kiss 77

>>9551745
(I kinda forgot Magearna existed, to be honest. Diancie and Magearna would probably be the exceptions to the number rule, along with Latios and Latias. You could actually have a pretty interesting plot involving the character finding, capturing, and repairing a magearna,)

>>9551806
(Not just that, they will have a bronzing and a Pory2 as well, lots of artificial poke and special considerations)

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*wets diaper*

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>>9551587
GM Ray here, with the current rules (courtesy of GM SB's rad writing)

Basic rules:
1) Don't lewd underage characters
2) Don't randomly "lol i kil u" other players' characters.
3) Weapons are restricted to up to a WW2 tech level. No nukes.
4) If you wanna play a canon character, that's cool, just check with people to make sure they're not already being played.
5) Most stuff takes place over a fictional messageboard, although characters in the same general area can interact 'face-to-face' (inasmuch as that's applicable for an RP)
6) For general actions with risks attached to screwups, we use evens = success, odds = failure, with dubs/trips/+ being a greater degree of success or failure

BATTLE SYSTEM:
The accuracy of a move/10 gives you the numbers it will hit on - anything equal to or above that number is a miss. For the purpose of battles 0 is considered a zero, not a ten, and anything with an accuracy ending in five gets rounded down. Damage calculated with Pokemon Showdown Damage Calculator ( http://pokemonshowdown.com/damagecalc/ )

TIMELINE:
FireRed/Leafgreen - 10 years ago
HeartGold/SoulSilver - 8 years ago
Diamond/Pearl/Platinum - 8 years ago
OmegaRuby/AlphaSapphire - 5 years ago
Black/White - 4 years ago
X/Y - 3 years ago
Black2/White2 - 2 years ago
Sun/Moon - 1 year ago

>>9551842
(We aren't shooting you down. Mostly for characters that aren't game protags/champs/E4 there's usually a bit of a quest for a legendary. Would you be okay having your character with their team but not having Magerna or whatever legendary you plan? They'd go on a quest or talk to a character related to that pokemon.)
(Hopefully that works.)

>>9551842
(Sounds fine to me. Just make getting the Magearna an actual plotline and quest for the character and you're good.)
(For original characters the starting level cap is in the 60-80 range. You can get past that, you just have to show the training on screen. Easiest place for that is stuff like the Battle Tree and shit.)

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>>9551544
Master...
I need to poop...

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>>9551889
(Please, all I did was taking the post of an anon last thread, format it nicely and merge in with the existing rules stub)
(Thank that anon more)

>>9551889
(How do you guys handle speed and priority, also how would moves like sucker punch, magic coat, counter and mirror coat? )

>>9551458
>>9551391
This all seems rather confusing, so I dunno if it's for me.

>>9551916
(Oh that's fine, I was expecting to have to get the whole team onscreen, probably get 6 slotted before Magerna, then have to explain how I swap it in, probably through an unfortunate death or something, just being able to start out at 4-5 slots and second or third stage would be so much more convient)

>>9551946
(You'd both write out the moves intended to be used and whichever has the higher speed/priority would be calc'd first.)
(Give the commands and write the effects afterwards, basically.)
>>9551974
(Most of the stuff mentioned is optional - you can just have a character who chats with others online if you want and ignore every other aspect)
(If you decide not to join we understand, no hard feelings)

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(Now in pastebin format https://pastebin.com/bMvZAaVX)

>>9551946
(They aren't used currently, though nothing prevents you from using them for flavor purposes)
(One of my chars has a Scarf Magnezone)

>>9552032
(I thought we were still omitting speed?)

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>>9551544
The ones I've met are cool dudes.
>>9551704
>Snug the nerd.
"Slow day, huh? I know that feel, bro. I tried to, like, made some extra cash today, no bites."
>Psychic shenanigans: engage.
>"What kinda odd thoughts, though? I won't go digging, bro, but I'm curious."

>>9551987
( I'd personally advise starting out in the 50s range, but thats just me )
>>9551974
( Don't gotta battle if you don't wanna, famalasada. Most of my characters don't, and I'm a GMfag )

>>9552056
(It got used in Anna's fight vs the Totem Gumshoos, it's just that there haven't really been any battles outside of that since the battle system rehaul.)

>>9552032
What I was referring to in the whole SP/counter thing is something like this:
What's stopping a situation like the following.
Trainer 1- " Alright Lucario get in there and use close combat!"

Trainer 2 (AFTERWORDS)- "Ok Bisharp use sucker punch"

If people are able to use moves intended to be gambles after the fact so they KNOW they will work, many moves become broken.

>>9552105
(We honestly don't have a solution to that one outside of doing battles on showdown which... kills the rp aspect. There's not an outright ban on those moves, but most people don't run those or protect for that very reason.)

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>>9552067
>"Thoughts like about what am I actually attracted for and if you would be down for threesomes with leggos"
>"Is it just me or did Jirachi did one of his tricks while I was in the coma?"

>>9552090
(Woosp, I forgot about that part)
(Guess speed is in in a way)

>>9552199
(That's why I'm scared to ever do a setup sweeper, it would just feel trashy to setup after seeing a safe time, or running the sucker punch 50/50 after the fact. I was going to use M-Maw but this makes me second guess that, since SP is a huge part of her playstyle.)

>>9552244
Make like a tree and fuck off

>>9552319
Rude

>>9552292
(You could always initiate the battles/ask if you can write out your moves first? That alleviates the issue to a degree.)
(We'll try to figure out a way to fix the battle system some more. Until then uh... PAR players tend to go for hyper offense, non set up styles, if that helps ease your conscience on the matter at all?)

>>9552319
My sides
Wtf did I read?

>>9552417
>hyper offense
Hyper aggressive*
Fixed

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>>9552267
>Ray giggles.
>"Seb, like, that's weird, bro. 'Chu're still into me, right~?"
>"Like, I'll be honest. If a Legendary - like, a straight-up, pretty sure most people worship at least one of them, Legendary - said 'come polish my spear pillar, mortal', I'd be like, 'yes sir please sir.'"
>"And, like, I think shenanigans happened, bro."

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>>9552417
So in other words, Memeto into Intimidate M-Maw will always win.
1.Cripple with memento
2. Free switch in also lowers attack...again
3. Swords Dance because they can't kill a bulky M-Maw at 1/2 their attack or less
4. Spam 1000 attack sucker punches
5. Profit
It's back to the drawing board for my team, I'll do something else, but in my mind, my M-Maw core has already won.)

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>>9552522
>"Deffo yes, I just have been very bored, probably haven't got it out of my system whatever Jirachi did and things have been reported on the Internet"
>"You do know where to get catnip, right? In case of random Mewtwo appearances"
>Laugh at the pun
>"Godsdamn me if I wouldn't help you"
>Tighter snugs engaged

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I regret everything I have ever done, oh no. Goodbye I am returning to my home.
>Anabel is dumped out of Ultra Space into the middle of the Orre desert.
>33 and 77 have their marks removed.
>Whatever else I forgot is undone.

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>>9552680
(Well, I enjoyed the plot. Sorry man, do come back some day)

>>9552624
(It's very likely that an M-Maw core team would win, yeah. Mega Stones are sorta rare, so that'd be something you'd have to get onscreen as well, as well as potentially dealing with level differences.)
>>9552680
(Welp. Bye dude, plot was fun while it lasted.)

>>9552680
Byebye scary rape ghost.

>>9552680
Get out before skitts self inserts more fetishes with you
But you yourself are pretty cool

marshadow a cute

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>>9552910
...Thank you? Is there anyone strong here?

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>>9552976
I'm strong, I think...
I lost a contest, and tripped and hurt my head, and I only cried a little both times...
But I know I'm the cutest. I don't care what those people say.

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>>9551544
I wanted to have a Mewtwo on my team, because I know they're incredibly powerful and we need that power if we want to really change things in Kanto, but it's never going to happen so like, I brought together my team without one.

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>>9553037
You need to battle. You will get stronger that way.
>>9553048
Other legendaries besides Mewtwo. Why not legendary birds? Or Johto legendaries?

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>>9552680
>It was fun while it lasted, sorry it didn't last.
>Hope you either do something else or come back some day.

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>>9553102
Because I don't think any of them would join me either, and more importantly I need to learn to work with the pokemon I have, not even Drax is talking to me, and given I've known him since I was six and he was just a Ghastly, that's weird.

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>>9552653
>Snugs a best
>"Bro, like, that would ruuuuule."
>"Can't wait to, like, get home to Alola with 'chu..."
>ding
>"This is, like, really funny, bro. Back when things first got weird, like, I had the same goal. Get back to Alola. 'Chu think maybe this means things will be normal-ish soon?"

>>9552680
BUH BYE FAG

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>>9553102
I'm cute!
I don't need to be that strong.
Plus, it's fun to relax!
If I exercise too much, my body ends up hurting.
That isn't fun.

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>>9553129
Are you giving him enough of a challenge?
>>9553205
Getting strong is more fun, though. You can be cute and strong.
Humans say I am cute. And I am also strong!

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>>9553229
We've been training every day since we got home, we still haven't won the double battle thing at my favorite cafe but we're trying.

>>9553180
>Something loud can be heard outside
>"I DEMAND entering, what do you mean he already got visitors?"

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>>9553180
>"Well the normal for me is long gone and I don't miss it a single bit..."

>>9553249
>That voice
Oh, hell, no.

>>9553205
There's a difference between a muscle burn after exercise, and the "oh hell I did something wrong" feeling.
I get muscle burn after overtime at work, for instance, but I know that's normal.

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>>9553249
>"What the hell?"
>>9553267
"Seb? What's going on? That sounds like a shitstorm on two legs..."

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>>9553248
You're going to need to get stronger if you want to impress any legendaries.

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>>9553388
So I've been told, which is why we've been going out every day and knocking out just about every wild pokemon we can find, and when we get home I'm... TRYING to get them all to speak with me so I can figure out how to make them even better but they're all mute or something.

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>>9553267
>>9553360
>The shitstorm in two legs takes the form of a woman in business attire
>A particularly loud one
>"Sebastian Brodd, you have a lot to explain, young man!"
>Glances at Ray
>"ESPECIALLY the pokemon there. Nurse! Kick that thing out!"

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>>9553424
Are you sure it isn't broken?
Um, challenging legendaries is a good way to get respect if you win. Just be respectful and don't try to catch them unless they say it's okay.

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>>9553500
>Dr. Dan Doctor Doctorson is back, unless you want him to fuck off for this scene.
>He gives the nurse a glare which stops her, but he won't intrude.
>Again, feel free to ignore this.

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>>9553360
>Clutch the psychmouse
>"Did I ever tell you I was not in particularly good standing with my family? Well.."

>>9553500
>"Damnit!"
"He's not leaving, mother"

Are there anyone that has a Machoke ava?

>>9552067
>>9552032
I'd probably do something incredibly stupid anyways.

>>9553500
(I'm not even involved in this plot and I feel fear for SB, jfc evil mothers are TERRIFYING)

>>9553627
(Pissed off moms are the true final boss)

>>9553625
(You're welcome in dude? We'd tell you OOC if you did a bad. Getting into discord would be easier because someone could DM you and we could cut out shitposting.)
>>9553621
(Nope.)

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>>9553621
(nope!)
>>9553509
I'm pretty sure it's not broken, and as for legendaries, I... don't want THEIR respect specifically, though it would be nice, no, I need Kanto's upper class to respect me, so I can change things for the better around here, stop the stigma against Pokephillia, stop this idea that ten year olds can take care of themselves on their own in the woods, that sort of thing. Modernize Kanto and drop the stupid "traditions".

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>>9553564
>"Uh, shit's gonna get savage. Like, really."
>>9553500
"Mmmm... No. No, thanks, I'll stay."
>Psych maus status: defiant.
>>9553530
>Ray nods in silent thanks that the doctor's not immediately siding with Anger Lady.

>>9553671
It is worth noting that godlike psychic beings, like a certain clone friend of yours, would be immensely helpful in changing the minds of the masses, by force if nessessary.

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>>9553671
Legendaries command respect! Being friends with multiple, even one would get you a lot of respect.
>>9553721
...Also this.

>>9553737
I'm just saying, when you are a MewTwo, public opinion is whatever you want it to be.

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>>9553721
One, I don't actually know any Mewtwo, unless you count that really angry one I talked with a few days ago.
Two, using Psychic powers to just brainwash people is wrong.

>>9553737
That's a fair point, but it doesn't really change anything, I still have to get stronger with my team and figure out why none of them will talk to me.

(in case it isn't BLATENTLY obvious I'm having Vi get stuck here until other players can pick up her Pokemon, because otherwise it doesn't really feel fair to have had her just get all those pokemon and grind for a while to win the Kanto League)

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>>9553530
>The mother of all shitstorms glares back, but does not take action, at least for now

>>9553678
"Don't you DARE put a filthy paw on my son!"

>>9553564
"You stopped paying the rent on your apartment, you abandoned your well paying job and disappear for months only to show up now in an hospital bed"
"And worse, you are almost 26 years old and still not married"
"Explain this, young man!"

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>>9553678
>>9553801
Dr. Dan Doctor Doctorson PHD quietly messages one of the nurses at the front desk to have the police ready if this gets serious.
>He takes a few notes while she screeches.

( question: is rotom a legendary/mythic? It can lay eggs now, and apparently there are enough to make a line of dex that have one each.)

>>9553883
(Rotom are like, dead porygon or somethin, rare, but nothing mythic/leggo tier)

>>9553873
(Fucking forgot my meme arrows.)
>
>>9553883
(Rotom is considered a normal pokemon, but fairly rare. Like Volcarona. If you have one something special usually happened or you bought it.)

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>>9553530
(It's fine, man)
>Sign of relief at seeing the good doctor stand his ground

>>9553678
>"She has a very short temper, no wonder dad was always on some business trip or other"

>>9553801
"One, that apartment is yours either way. Two, my life was boring me to death and needed a change of pace. Three, that was a laboral accident. Four, all the 'nice girls' you sent my way have the personality of cardboard"
>Visibly don't let go of the psychmouse

>>9553901
(Well I also wanted a kabutops... sooo, spoiled brat backstory it is! Who needs an origin story when you can have MONEY)

>>9553771
(Remind me what Vis team is again? Sorry.)

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>>9553801
>Ray takes a deep breath. Shits getting real.
"First, like, watch 'chur mouth."
"Second, he, like, moved. And got a new job."
"Third, like... He nearly died, and 'chu're screaming at him. That... kinda says something about 'chu."
>>9553873
>Attempt to psy-prod the doc.
>"Can 'chu get her out if, like, she gets grabby? Please?"

>>9553972
(Drax the Gengar (female, Vi's dad used one of the OG dex's to scan her and thus didn't get gender), Trace the Metang, Remmy the Wishiwashi, Mal the Charmander, Lulu the Azumarill, and Kylar the Gligar)

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>>9553925
"I'm losing money just trying to get you back into a proper career path, young man!"
"After this is over you will go back to your old job and get married, what would your father think!"

>>9554009
"I'm NOT taking a lecture from a pokemon, especially not that is a corrupting influence on my son!"

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>>9553771
>Splet the trainer.
Are we g-ooo-ing?

>>9553654
Eeeeeh, I'm nervous about that stuff

>>9554089
(Can I just say I am very impressed by the quality of the angry stock women pictures you apparently have on hand, like what the crap, why do they fit so well.)

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>>9553925
>>9554009
>Nod, nod.
>>9554089
>The doctor steps forward,
>Dr. Dan Doctor Doctorson PHD MD.
Ma'am, you're going to need to leave. You're aggravating the patient.

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>>9554089
"Dad was a doormat who barely agreed with anything you had to say out of fear"
"Now please get out of my life before I do something drastic"

>>9554158
"You might want to avert your eyes if you have Kantoese influences"

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>>9554114
>Well that's one way to make a young trainer fall out of her chair
EEEP!
Owww... Remmy? You're talking now?

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>>9554227
S-oooorry, I've been talking. Are we going to d-ooooooo anything?

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>>9554201
"Should I call John or Des?"
>>9554089
"Lady. There's a reason I've, like, never heard of 'chu. Also, 'corrupting influence'? Is that 'cause, like, I'm a psych?"

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>>9554158
"NOT YET"

>>9554328
>Clearly hyperventilating now
"My SON is going to marry a nice girl AND YOU ARE RUINING HIM"

>>9554201
"DON'T YOU DARE..."

>>9554131
(All you need to do is add the magical keyword "stock" into your google image searches and you can get anything)

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>>9554201
Unova born, sir.
>>9554410
I'm prescribing you a padded room, ma'am.

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>>9554410
>Ray looks right into the angry lady's burning eyes.
>Shit eating grin.
>>9554201
>And he macks on that nerd. Messily.

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>>9554255
I think
>yawn
...sorry Remmy, I need to sleep, you probably need it too, tomorrow we take on that old couple at the Battle Cafe again, maybe this time we'll be strong enough to win.
>She stretches, slips into her pajamas, and flops into bed
(it's really fukkin late and I already pulled one all-nighter last night, not looking to do it twice in a row, sorry)

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>>9554428
"That's a relief"

>>9554328
>>9554465
>"No need for, we just need to do what we do best"
>"That bein.."
>Surprise macking
>"Exactly this"
>Continuous passionate kissing

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>>9554526
Awww.
>Grab dex.
>Shitpost time.
hello if you like unova you suck

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>>9554465
>>9554537
>Shrieks
>If she had an axe she would actually use it
>Attempt to separate nerd from mouse

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>>9554465
>>9554537
How sw-
>>9554556
ALRIGHT, MA'AM THAT IS ENOUGH!
>PKMN Trainer Dr. Dan Doctor Doctorson PHD MD sends out a Lv 45 Ferrothorn.
Get out of here before I call security!

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>>9554556
>OH HELL NO
>"Bad move, lady. 'Chu you think you scare me?"
>Time for a bit of a mindfuck, featuring Ray's experience with The Time Unova Went Boom In January/February.

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>>9554556
>Damn, forgot she could be very forceful
>Separated just enough to talk
"Best sex of my life, as well"

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>>9554585
"MY DRESS"

>>9554628
"YOU'RE DISOWNED, YOUNG MAN"


>>9554623
"YOU..."
>Paralyzed

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>>9554666
Someone summoned m- Oh god, no.

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>>9554666
>Sigh.
I'll have her escorted out.
>Call in security.
Do you two have any words for her?

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>>9554666
"I'll send you the future wedding pics, how's that for some family fun?"

>>9554683
"Ooooh damn"
"Tell the cat I said hello"

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>>9554666
>Time to stop with the mindfuck and try to wriggle free.
"It's time to lay off the uppers, lady, please."
>>9554707
"Hell yeah, bro. Can John, like, be the best man?"
"I'm having too much fun with the taunts here..."

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>>9554683
>>9554693
>Paralysis ends
>Just to resume shrieking, in panic this time
>"YOU ARE ALL MAD"

>>9554707
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOUR MOTHER"

>>9554777
>Just shrieking at this point

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>>9554777
>777
>I can't think of anything funny
>Fug
>CreamsicleCatte: chuck that sack of coins at the zaprat

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>>9554707
>>9554777
I suppose you two do have some last words.
>>9554803
Security can you please escort Mrs. Brodd out?
>>9554777
>>9554707
Would you two like me to put her on an exclusion list?

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>>9554693
"If I had any words for her these would be 'good riddance'"

>>9554777
"Hell yeah he can"
"Do you have any honeymoon plans?"

>>9554803
"You can tell the sacks of money with legs you call 'nice girls" that I'm happily engaged"

>>9554829
"What is this, the dowry?"

>>9554839
"At this point a restraining order would be better"

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>>9554829
>Center mass.
>Mouse is bowled over.
"Oof... looks like I got, like, the..."
>>9554873
"Yeah, that."
>>9554839
"Please."
>Zap mouse: gonna need an Oran Berry and then some.

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>>9554873
Yeah sure, let's go with that.
>Memeport back to the ComaCatte for some dank snugs

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>>9554839
>Constant shrieking and sobbing while being dragged away by security

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>>9554873
Sorry, Mr. Brodd, I'm a doctor not a lawyer.
>>9554927
Understood.
>Dan talks to one of the security officers.
>Audino is sent out.
>Audino uses Heal Pulse.
>>9554954
Good riddance.

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>>9554927
"Well, the worst has passed"
>Attempt to bellyrub the pain away

>>9554967
"The next best thing then, and thanks for the help."
"Wasn't expecting any family to resurface, especially not her"
>Ray healed
>Keep up the bellyrubs anyway

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>>9554967
"Thanks, dude..."
>>9555028
>Snug nerd.
>Bellyrubs a best.
>"Bro, like, 'chur mom's kinda cray. She's not gonna, like, show up in Alola with a cleaver, is she?"

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>>9555028
>>9555072
>Nod.
I'll be outside if anything is needed. You two rest up.
>Dan leaves through the door.

>Pop open pokedex.
>Shitpost.
Hey 4champ, what do you do when you feel like your life is about to take a turn for the weird?

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>>9555106
Gotta say: Go with it. Why, what happened?

>>9555106
I just rolled with it when that happened to me.
Granted, that kicked off a series of events which included a religious revelation, multiple dead poachers, a psycho family member and an odyssey that carried me through three different Regions, but I don't regret it for a minute.

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>>9555114
One of my patients just had his mother break in and nearly start a fight with his husband...Who is a Raichu. I'm not a fighter, I'm a doctor.
>>9555162
I... guess. I'll see where this goes. It seems like he needs to get out soon, I might suggest the heal pulse treatment and tell him the risks.

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>>9555072
>"Nah, she's the kind of woman to yell at you until compliance and threaten to take away your money"
>"She holds no power over me anymore, but, now I definitely can't go back home"
>"But then, I have never seen her this mind broken before. Must be because her only son talked back"

>>9555106
>"Good doctor"

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>>9555224
...Was he kinda nerdy looking?

bump?

>>9556437
Goo, obviously

What's a good ghostmon to start out with?

>>9556758
Shuppet

>>9556758
dhelmise

>>9556912
a cute

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ghosts are made for snug

>>9557242
*Fug
FTFY

I feel like the league needs to take after smogon and start banning pokemon.

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>>9557609
This tbqh

>>9557609
Which ones? If you're talking about Megas I can see that. If you're talking about Legendaries it would be really difficult to pull off. Smogon is a sim, what they ban there doesn't matter. However, the League is real life. If a kid shows up with a local divinity helping him out there's not much you can say without risking pissing off that God and their worshippers.

>>9557946
Nice to see someone agrees.
>>9557998
Megas, legendaries, anything in the Ubers category. Hell, I think OU should be banned from league battles too.
I know it's a sim but when every little shit kid and their mother can get a legendary this shit is unfair.

>>9558021
The only people with Legendaries are the Battle Frontier/Tree/etc. leaders, Tobias, and the Pokedestined. That's a lot less than you make it sound, since only four people with Legendaries are involved with the league anymore.
Banning Mega Stones outside of Kalos and Hoenn would probably be good, but banning them there wouldn't go over well because MUH TRADITION.

>>9558086
I've seen some weird fuckers with legendaries. Half the goddamn IP has access to legendaries, what the fuck is stopping them from actually catching criminals?
Anyway, banning Mega Stones is a good idea because that shit hurts pokemon. I don't know if you've ever had a sudden forced form change on you but trust me its a fucking living nightmare.

>>9558136
...are you a pokemon?

>>9558136
Anabel and Nate aren't half the International Police. I'm a Casteliafag and I've never seen any other legendaries around that headquarters of theirs.
Besides, aren't these things super rare? I really don't think it'll be relevant enough to warrant a ban.
Again, Casteliafag human. No Mega Stones here, but I'll take your word for it.

>>9558198
Do humans mega evolve?
>>9558234
Are you sure? God, whatever I sound like my trainer.
>Mega Stones
>Rare
You must have missed when Team Flare started mining for them and bought all the extras up. They just sell them at an inflated price. There are literally thousands of them.
If there weren't they wouldn't give them away as prizes at the Battle Tree, etc.

>>9558267
My reference to "super rare" was in regards to Legendary Pokemon, not Mega Stones.
Either way, that still makes Mega Stones hard enough to get that your average trainer won't have one, seeing as they'd have to either be good enough to beat the Battle Tree or rich enoughto buy one from Flare/sneaky enough to steal one from them.

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>>9558267
More rare than a Z Crystal at the least.

>>9558267
Hell, for a short while they just gave away the mega stones as a promo.
I got a Metagrossite that way, maybe one day I'll get the keystone

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>>9558470
I have a keystone I could be willing to part with? Do you have something to trade?

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>>9558267
Huh, that explains what I've got. There's an old couple I battle daily at my favorite cafe, the husband is a war vet, said one of his buddies gave him this, but he's too old to make use of it really, so he passed it on to me:
>UncutKeystone.png
I asked on a different website a bit ago and apparently it's an uncut keystone, it's going to cost a lot to get it cut, and then I've still got to get the Mega Stone for Drax, but yeah, it makes a lot more sense why someone in Kanto would just have one of these.

>>9558643
Apart the team, including a Metagross I may or nay nit gave list access to? Not really, I was just saving cash for it from a decently paying job until I got fired recently.
Between that and a few other suddrn monetary issues this thing will have to wait, sorry man.

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>>9558643
>Tyranitar whines, grabbing 33's shoulder in his mouth and gnawing lightly.

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>>9558647
...I know someone that can get that cut.
>>9558754
Well if you have anything to trade we can work something out.
>>9558806
>Bap the dino snout.
Lucky, you're too big for that. You're going to hurt me.

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>>9558817
Oh? What's their price?

>>9558021
Are we really going to tell people that they can't use their starters (blazeiken, greninja)

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>>9558817
>He shakes his head back and forth, fighting off a sneeze.
>In the end the dino fails, head snapping forward and blowing sand all over his trainer.

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>>9558897
Probably about 600,000,000P. I'll see about talking to them.
>>9558924
>33 stifles a cough.
Lucky, please. What do you need, big guy? Food?

>>9558915
Just ban PokèDave from undertale, from doing anything and boom. League and everything along with it is fixed.

>>9558964
This tbqh
He ruined everything

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>>9558951
Uh... doesn't Flare sell cut Keystones for only around 110,000,000?

>>9558964
(I'm not familiar with the league here, I'm new, but you best believe I'm winning this shit if you let me, I'm currently on team 2.0 since my first felt too scummy.

My point is, people will minmax any system, if you want to fix battling then you have to be smart about it.)

>>9558964
(Except I could beat Dave's shitty team with my eyes closed.)

>>9559022
(ignore any mentions of Dave, he doesn't actually exist, the current Champ of Kanto and Johto is Dom, an Alolan Ace Trainer with a Blaziken and Metagross, and a few others)
(You're gonna be competing with Vi as well if you're going through Kanto/Johto)

>>9559022
>>9559048
(If I ever had any worries about this thread it'd be that it devolves into "who can minmax the best and most efficiently" instead of "Who is the most skilled" )

>>9558964
Why yes, ban someone from the League because he knows actual strategy.

>>9559022
(A character that is getting revamped at the moment for being a bit too much of a shitpost magnet)

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>>9559004
Can't you get one in Kanto for much less too, I've heard of patterns dropping P10,000,000 and trying their sweet little trainer a keystone, seems cheaper to just fly there at this point.

>>9559022
(It's cause the main GM here tried to power grav everything by using Dave from autistland to over take every league. It failed cause some aussie guy pointed it out, she got all triggered and kicked him, since she's been stringing people along for a while now they'll still defend it by pulling shit out of their ass, as the problem got worse. I.e. they finally decided to approach the problem as more people finally complained about it and her bs.)
>>9559048
(This. Her team wasn't rounded at all and could be wiped easily as well.)

>>9559121
>Trying this hard to stir shit up

@9559121
(Ignore this aussie shitposter)

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>>9559068
(Oh la la... a target.
Does Dom mega? If so who? They seem tough, team one might be the final draft after all)

>>9559087
>actual strategy
>implying he just didn't look into the future
Kek. You can't make this shit up.

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How hard is it to train a Beldum into a Metagross?

>>9559134
>>9559136
>still defending her after everything she's done
>still not seeing through her
>"Hurr durr noodles/turts/meme/hb stop it you are hurting my feefeeing"

@9559121
@9559165
>Still calling him a "her"
(Rude af on top of the shit stirring)

ok

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(Stop replying to the fucking samefag.)
>>9559193
>>9559195
(Stop.)

>>9559163
45 levels and 100,000s of P in scrap metal hard. The worst part is feeding the thing, and getting it past it's take down days.

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>>9559163
I think it's easier once you get it to evolve into a Metang, having it learn more than Take Down is a godsend.

>>9559048
>>9559145
(His team was/is intentionally aesthetic instead of functional.) (Klinklang/Metagross/Blaziken/Krookodile/Honchkrow/Aegislash. Five physical attackers, four weak to ground)
(He does mega evolve the Metagross, but that's it.)

>>9559201
And just let him make us look like shit?

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>>9559214
(Replying is going to make him stay around longer. Just do your best to dissuade newcomers from taking what he says instead of constantly giving him (You)s and making him stay longer.)

>>9559193
(I lost my respect for "her" I saw what she really was)
>>9559201
>>9559233
>Implying the GMs wouldn't drive them off first
ok

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>>9559203
Oh yes this, getting metal for Trace is irritating, I'm just glad I've got a steady job that brings in enough to feed everyone, and that Drax doesn't eat.

>>9559291
Don't you also wrangle Porygons?

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>>9559390
"Wrangle" is overstating it, It's more like I've got two teams, my work team of porygon, and my actual team, my work team is used to deal with internet security for a bunch of different companies, it's a bit like battling using a sim, but the outcomes actually matter.

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I have a question
Where do I get a bunch of berry juice
Like
A ton of it
I cleared this with my Trainer this time I swear

>>9559163
>>9559291
Here is a tip for the both of you, Payday.
Everyone has caught onto the move by now, so no self respecting shop owner is going to take your payday coins as belief tender, but they ARE real metal, and in personal experience, my Bronzeong says it just tastes like gold. (literally)

>>9559430
(Valid tender, phoneposting is hard.)

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>>9559430
What are you talking about? They're the same as normal coins, everyone accepts them.

>>9559489
Where do you live buddy, any decent Psychic can feel the imprint of the Pokémon that made them, shops around me have been employing anti-counterfeit Poke for years now.

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>>9558951
>Another shake of the head, this one a gesture of the negative variety. Grumbling and whining the entire time, the Tyranitar rests his head on 33's shoulder, shifting to use his trainer as a head rest.

>>9559413
Yeah, I know.
I used to work for an ISP with a Porygon2 assigned to me for the task, it was mostly boring but when shit hit the fan it was time to get serious.
Eventually applied for a trainer license, got the Porygon2 under my name and eventually had to leave because of personal issues, still have the good old cyberduck in my team.

>>9559418
Wholesalers, I guess.

>>9559430
>>9559489
>>9559544
Where do Payday coins come from? Do Meowths make them from thin air?

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>>9559430
If my team wasn't already full, I might have picked up a Meowth, but unfortunately that's not something I can do, aluminium is cheap though, and Trace seems to like it.

>>9559489
Ha, that's a funny joke dude.

>>9559585
Yeah, usually it's just having my Porygon patrol the servers of one company or another, but then we find someone attacking and things get interesting. That porygon and I haven't lost a battle quite yet, but I think that's only because the one I work with has been around for a while and is stronger than most, I think it's like, level 80? It's one of the oldest ones in the company.

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>>9559544
Kanto and Unova have accepted them in shops and I've bought things online before too.

>>9559587
Trade secret, buddy.

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>>9559004
...I'll see if my friend told me wrong.
>Sweat.
>>9559574
>Pet the dino.
Not hungry... You wanna get some battling done?

>>9559614
What model is your Porygon? I have a Pv.2 my self, does the job just fine, but I can't imagine my little binary friend standing up to a Pv.Ż

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>>9559617
Sure thing dude.

>>9559660
It's not really mine and neither he nor I have an interest in taking him away from my company, but he's a Pv.2 with an Evolite.

>>9559614
Mine was level 45 at the time, the serial puts it in between the first #200 manufactured. But then, we didn't see much combat and it was mostly checking hardware, and he was, and is still specced for tanking.
He's now level 65, we saw more shit in the last half a year than years of corporate droning.

>>9559660
My old job explicitly banned Pv.Z, because of their chaoticnes and not being an official upgrade. Made for a fun day when I had to repair one on the company's dime.

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>>9559726
Woah, you actually interacted with a Pv.Ż?! You are far braver than I. I've heard too many horror stories of Corrupted models going off and blasting everything around them. I assumed the only trainers crazy enough to use a P.Ż were all criminal team members. I guess if you want your competitions servers to resemble Swiss cheese there is nothing better, but as a team member, I would never be able to trust a P.Ż.

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>>9559726
I've heard that there's a lot of Z's that are fine, if a little eccentric, but yeah, my company banned them too.

>>9559806
They are used more offensively, so I've heard, we had to battle one once, quite the surprise when it almost oneshot us, thankfully it didn't, and we were able to chase it off.

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>>9559806
>>9559828
I sense a certain Z coming our way soon.

>>9559806
I ended adopting the Pv.Z in question, he gets along well along the Pv.2.
Found him at first with a busted drive and on the verge of completely losing himself, but in the end, I managed to restore him and most of his data, mostly losing battle data.

But yeah, I've heard of some more crazy Pv.Z. One another dumped the dubious upgrade on me for the Pv.2, we didn't go through and it got angry, thankfully it just went away.

>>9559828
Pv.Z with Conversion can get scarily destructive.

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>>9559857
GOOD CALL
DID YOU PUT AN ANTENNA IN THAT SWOOSH OR SOMETHING ?

>>9559806
ZS ARE ONLY FUCKED IF YOU GET SHITTY UPDATES
#NOT ALL ZS

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>Le lewd waffles

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>>9559617
>Lucky snorts at 33, sticking the tip of his tongue out and bumping his hand with his head.

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>>9559948
>waffles

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>>9559908
THIS FORUM IS FOR OFFICALLY RECOGNIZED UNITS ONLY, STATE YOUR BUISNESS OR BEGONE

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>>9559960
I'll take that as a no... Hugs?
>Hug the tall dino.

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>>9559908
>>9559994
>Hal: worry beeps

>>9559994
That's deadsec innit?

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>>9559908
>>9559994
>>9560023
Yep.

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>>9559994
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM ?

>>9560023
HEY NERD

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>>9560071
QUERY: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?
RESPONCE: THIS UNIT DOES NOT KNOW, STATE YOUR BUISNESS OR BEGONE

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>>9560054
True

>>9560058
Why

>>9560071
Messenger module detected
Good = True

>>9559994
>>9560132
Statement: you seem outdated

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>>9560058
I take it this happens often?

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>>9560188
Exactly.
>>9560203
Hasn't happened for a while but when it does it sure is a thing.
You mentioned needing a stone cut...? I wonder if one and two could do that...

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>>9560132
I AM DEDSEC AND I AM IN THE BUSINESS OF NUNYA

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>>9560237
>KEYWORD RECOGNIZED: "ONE"
>ENGAGE SNOOP MODE

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>>9560237
Yes actually, I have an uncut Keystone and haven't had the opportunity to see about getting it cut and polished yet, how much would you charge?

>>9560258
>Unit One
>Engage: Fuck off like a tree mode

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>>9560258
Hello One.
>>9560264
...Free? Consider it a test. I'll reimburse you if any accidents happen.
Present location?

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>>9560342
Cerulean City, Kanto, I'll meet you at the battle cafe.
>Vi grabs the stone and her pokemon and walks the half mile to the cafe.

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>>9560342
Ummm.... Accidents?

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>>9560006
>There's a happy rumbling and a chirp in response, Lucky plopping on the ground and dragging 33 with him.

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>>9560342
HELLO COLRESS!
WHAT IS THE CURRENT SCHEDULE?

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>>9560366
As you say.
>>9560406
Yes, accidents.
>>9560464
One, I'm sending you over to Cerulean City in Kanto. You're looking for a certain trainer. I've already put the data that you'll need in.
Care to show her how powerful you are and cut a keystone for her?

L A M P
A
M
P

dicc

>>9560658
would succ/10

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>>9560589
>COMMAND: ACCEPTED
>OBJECTIVE LIST UPDATED
OKAY! I CAN DO THAT!
>Rolling for how many posts it takes to arrive in Cerulean city.

>>9560706
>roll to get bug goo

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>>9560789
>You fail to obtain any of the four kinds of bug goo.
> Several sections of plating flare out, revealing rapidly flashing red lights along the wiring. Only half of the lights flash at the same time - some flash in time to the loud chittering made by the bug, others follow the whirring and revving of the Techno Cannon - creating a bright strobe effect across both his armor and the floor.
WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?

Hey, /par/.
I got a job with a bit of a performance component to it.
To be blunt, I'm an accidental DJ and talk show guy.
Can anybody recommend some topics for the first few shows?

>>9560939
Think of things your host does not normally talk about?

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>>9560939
Inform the ignorant masses on the truth of their "God" Arceus. That is, of course, that he is no God. Then, once you have them on the palm of your hand by the gospel of truth and logic, warn them of the dangers of MMOs and how dangerous they are to the gaming industry.

>>9561024
I'm half-tempted to have a segment on the League, but I'm worried it'll turn into "Fuck Kanto" before we actually get into anything interesting or thought-provoking.
>>9561040
Sorry, I'm not going my first segment on religion and video games aren't really my thing.

How about a segment on crazy Trainers?

>>9561040
L U C Y

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>UNIT ONE: LOCATION: CERULEAN
>OBJECTIVE UPDATE: LOCATION TRAINER "VI"
>Rollin'

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>>9561173
Perhaps a segment on the disgusting humans who actually copulate with their Pokemon?... Such a truth needs to be exposed. Countless innocent Pokemon are being violated each and every day by Arceus worshipping filth....

>>9561202
That's Lucario the Magnificent to you.

>>9561173
How about a segment on the unethical practices that are prevalent in competitive battling, such as lv1 Pokémon strategies. Or focus sash counter and other strategies that revolve around Pokémon suffering.

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>>9561271
If they both convent what's the issue?

>>9561271
L U C Y
U
C
Y

>>9561305
(consent, phoneposting is hard)

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>>9561271
If one consents how is that being violated?

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>>9561255
>ERROR: DATA CONFLICT
>GPS DESIGNATES CURRENT LOCATION AS CERULEAN CITY
>CITY SIGNS DESIGNATE LOCATION AS CELADON CITY
>SOLUTION?

HELLO INTERNET. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CELADON CITY AND CERULEAN

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>>9561040
How can one pokemon be so wrong? Seriously, I'd expect like, another human to think Arceus didn't fucking create the universe, but this is just fucking absurd.

>>9561271
Wrong again! As long as it's two consenting adults and no one is getting hurt, no one should give a flying fuck what they do in the bedroom!

>>9561364
Celadon has the casino and supermarket, cerulean has flowers and drugs.

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>>9561305
The issue is that an "evolved" human has to take advantage of a naive Pokemon's trust in its trainer so he could learn what touching a female feels like. It's... pathetic....

>>9561307
T H E M A G N I F I C E N T

>>9561339
Tell that to the Gardevoirs and Lopunnies dealing with trauma in the Pokemon Center now....

>>9561367
Arceus is no God and created nothing, m'lady. You worship a false idol. I... expected better from a human. Tch... I thought you were supposed to be smarter than Pokemon. I thought wrong...

And Pokemon are no adults. They are creatures that form emotional bonds and trust in their trainers to not lead them astray. How can you call it "consent" when most species of Pokemon can't even speak?

>>9561271
I don't think that's a great topic for a first broadcast, but Pokephilia's a topic that will inevitably come up. There's some sticky ethical issues to navigate, the I'm with >>9561339 on this personally.
>>9561285
That's probably the best topic I've heard - I used to live in a Gym town, and I saw some fucked up shit from the Trainers who came to town on the League circuit. Again, I'm hoping it doesn't turn into "Fuck Kanto" in the first thirty minutes but I think I can manage to keep things on track.

>>9561413
LUCYHEAD

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>>9561413
wait for it...

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>>9561413
Wait, Pokémon cannot rationally evaluate their desires and give consent, is that the argument you, a Pokémon yourself, are presenting?

>Go back online after the pory and former employer party

>>9561413
This is why pokemon rights are stalling

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>>9561411
TOWN DISTINCTLY LACKS FLORA.
CONCLUSION.....
CELADON CITY.
THANK YOU, INTERNET
>GPS SYSTEM: FLAWED
>SOLUTION: FOLLOW THE ROADS
>Rollin' to end up in the correct town this time

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>>9561413
...So if all pokemon are animals, why are you so much better and able to reason like humans?
Could it be that you are, in fact, wrong?

>>9561411
Other way around dude.

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>>9561417
Pokemon cannot properly give consent. That's my two, very valuable cents on that...

>>9561433
It's an enlightened head filled with knowledge that would make most humans envious, yes.

>>9561445
Speechless? I assumed as such... It's alright. Enlightment and truth are at last within your grasp. I recommend you read a book titled "The Arceus Delusion" written by Richard Sawkins.

>>9561487
Indeed it is, m'lady. Even those who can speak are still incapable of grasping logic and reason like humans are, and are easily susceptible to the lies and tricks that humans use to bed them. I, myself, am.... more enlightened than most, you see. It's why I'm wearing this classy hat.

>>9561498
Pokemon rights? We have a right to not have to worry about you humans... using us....

>>9561567
Oh, my sweet summer child. I am not wrong. I am... enlightened. While you humans arm yourself with Pokemon and weapons, I've armed myself with a greater tool: knowledge.

As someone who isn't missing half their chromosomes I think humans are inferior to pokemon because of the constant anger humans seem to feel. No matter what they always snap at some point.
t. an abuse victim

>>9561602
fuck off

>>9561602
Is this some next-level trolling, or like, legit trying to make an argument?
Bro, like, I can't tell.

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>>9561602
Nah I'm just waiting for Arceus to bap you on the head like the last guy who started spouting bullshit.

>>9561654
Either way he's retarded.

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>>9561602
So you think you're some super special pokemon and the only one capable of rational thought?
Is this honestly what you think?
Then I've got news for you buddy: you're not special, you're delusional, and probably got beat up a lot as a riolu.
Seriously what the fuck has to happen to someone to make them think they're the only pokemon in the world capable of rational thought.

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>>9561548
>DATA CONFLICT: CURRENT TOWN LACKS FLORA; YET CITY SIGNS DICTATE THE TOWN IS CERULEAN CITY
>SOLUTION....

>>9561411
>>9561596
THE TOWN DESIGNATED "CERULEAN CITY" VIA ROAD SIGNS LACKS FLORA
EXPLAIN

>>9561602
The only delusion here is when you see the gods themselves and still refuse to acknowledge them.

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>>9561744
You're in the right place, that other guy is just an idiot.

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>>9561621
>>9561654
...I'm misunderstood. That's okay, I'm used to that.

(If I reveal that it's actually the character, would that make it better.)

>>9561664
Some kind and loving "God" you worship then...

>>9561714
I am... surrounded by Pokemon who would amuse themselves by chasing plastic toys or letting themselves become slaves to human masters. I'm too intelligent to let myself fall into that.... trap...

As far as my bullying history goes, t-that's none of your business...

>>9561754
I acknowledge Arceus' existence. But to normalize the story that he created the Universe is unhealthy and unproductive for society.

>>9561771
>Throw tennis ball

>humans give us rights
>still going to be abused, etc
lol humans are great right

Cerulean City ハナダシティ
Hanada City
"The Floral Lagoon City"


Description: A beautiful city with flowing water and blooming flowers.

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>>9561664
Sorry, ain't in a bapping mood right now, sport.
>>9561771
Yeah, I'm here, whaddya want? A galaxy contained in a marble or something? I ain't doing any big miracles today, pick something small.

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>>9561771
I've seen plenty of humans amuse themselves by chasing balls
I think they call it "golf"
They take it way too serious
>>9561799
Pretty sure abuse is illegal
It should be looked into more though
Especially in Kanto
Fuck Kanto and fuck my trainers sister

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>>9561761
TRAINER IDENTIFICATION: VI?
>>9561810
(Cerulean has the visible flowers, Celadon has the flower gym. Got it. )
....
.........
SYSTEM ERROR: MISTOOK LOCAL FLORA FOR PLANT TYPE POKEMON.
LOCATION CONFIRMED: CERULEAN

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>>9561922
Yeah, that'd be me. I assume you're the one that's supposed to cut this keystone? I'm over by the Battle Cafe.

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>>9561413
I would think a Lopunny would be the one to harm during sex.
Unless you're referring to rape then that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

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>>9561771
His Holiness will be happy to give you true enlightment.

>>9561864
Amen.

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>>9561795
>it hits Lucario "the Magnificent" right in the face, leaving a red mark right where it landed

N-now we see the violence inherit in humanity!....

>he pulls his hat over his face with a shaking paw to hide the fact that he was crying

>>9561864
As expected... You're just as mortal as the rest of us Pokemon. I presume you've read Richard Sawkins' magnum opus?

>>9561880
Bread and circuses, m'lady. Humans would sell their rights for full bellies and the excitements of games.

>>9561964
Humans often... drug or restrain their targets if they happen to be unwilling

>>9561967
Oh, I am so looking forward to it. That was... sarcasm, by the way

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>>9561864
Uh, sir? Your holiness? Would you mind answering a question for me?
Why do the Sinjonians have such a different language even though both ours and theirs are based on Unown?
>Quincy: internally screaming in frustration over these FUCKING SCROLLS

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>>9561960
BATTLE CAFE?
DESTINATION UPDATED.
ESTIMATED ARRIVAL TIME? FIVE MINUTES.

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>>9562019
Why do Chinese and Japanese vary so much when they have the same alphabet base?
>>9561998
No to both of those. Look kid, you want a minor miracle for proof or not ?

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>>9562090
I've never heard of either of those places, but I think I get your point: humans like making things complicated?
>THIS DOES NOT MAKE TRANSLATING THESE SCROLLS EASIER
>STUPID FUCKING DEAD LANGUAGE

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>>9562090
Yo god, quick question;
What do ya got against Talonflame? They were doing just fine till you bent the nature of reality to fuck over Gale Wings. What gives?

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>>9562090
A miracle would be empirical evidence of your creating us. But, since you cannot deliver, I have no interest in your... magic tricks. Perhaps lesser humans and Pokemon are so easily misguided by smoke and mirror, but, and enlightened Pokemon, am not so readily fooled.

>>9562090
>Why do Chinese and Japanese vary so much when they have the same alphabet base?

Because fuck us?
Also real world places like those don't/shouldn't exist in this world
So nice consistency you retard

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>>9562236
If you don't mind me asking Luce, where do you get that hat. Shit is spiffy as fuck. Do want.