ITT: Pokemon are real - AKA the Pokemon Roleplaying General.

>>9424123
goo

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>>9424123
They're nice, Garchomp being my favorite.

>>9424158
goo spotted

>>9424063
>>9424068
Uh, okay I gotta go now my dad wants us to pack for a trip. Is Charmeleon any good against that thing?
>>9424066
He told me to hurry up and get packed.
Sorry, thanks guys.

>>9424123
Mostly mindless engines of destruction from my experience. Not my cup of tea. Plus they scare Sigmund. Which just leads to a rather painful feedback loop.

>>9424195
Anon, you need to get him to say moshi moshi.

>>9424195
hes gonna vore u

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>>9424185
..Hello.

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>>9424123
Watching Gladion tease Zekrom is amusing.
Yes Anomalesia, you are my favorite dragon type.
>>9424195
Zoroark can disguise itself as anything, but ultimately their disguise will drop when injured. Take advantage of that.

>>9424237
>roll to power up the goo o matic

is a goodra's goo-splooge safe to eat
my friends keeps trying to shove it down my gob and frankly i'm worried

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>>9424262
>I..
>Guess that worked?
>Goo-o-matic: on?
..uh???

>>9424343
>GOO-O-MATIC: ON
>ACTIVATE GOO PUMP

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>>9424355
>Good job you turned it back off.
>No goo for you.
why are you like this.

>>9424371
uh
>Roll to get goo the old fashioned way

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>>9424382
>You're gonna have to put some more effort into it if you really want that goo, anon.
..Do I need to call my husband.

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>>9424446
>Roll to get the goo

>>9424498
>roll to get plush goo

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>>9424498
>Heck
>You got the goo
>A fair amount of it
h-honey. please.

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>>9424536
Not good enough.
>>9424537
>Smooch the husband.
Where's my prize? Do I get a new title?

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>Meanwhile, somewhere else...
>Rolling...

>>9424568
>Roll to fix the nerd

>>9424568
>Roll to put nerd goo into ray

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>>9424558
..On the floor.
>Smooch that plushbando
How does Master of Goo sound?
>Wak: have a smol chuckle

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Time to call in some old favors and check a thing.
Fingers crossed.
>John: roll for how fucked your old place back in Alola is.

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>the girl falls asleep with her ghost in her arms
>the ghost doesn't need to sleep, so he just enjoys the platonic snugs

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>>9424618
Nice.
>Plush: Snicker.
Fitting! Hold on.
>Crack knuckles.
>Kinda.
>Roll to get goo.

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>>9424568
>One fifth of the tower traversed
>Must keep going

>>9424576
>>9424586
>...
>pls

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>>9424123
Draceufeuge is amazing. He's the best, my first thought when someone says "Dragon". However uh... That means my first thought when someone says "dragon" is also "BURASTO BAN".

>>9424677
>Roll to chug nerd goo from the source

>>9424690
come back when you can hit shit

>>9424690
exepct youve missed all of those attacks

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>>9424677
Nap by nerd, hoping he'll eventually wake up.
>>9424692
(pls.)

>>9424721
> ( Ray: fail at meme arrows. You know what I was going for. )

>>9424690
Have you won any battles out of that conference?

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I hate being nocturnal.

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>>9424692
>>9424586
>Angry statue noises
BEGONE

>>9424758
>roll to licc boob cannon

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>>9424674
Cool-hhnh.
>There goes some more wak goo
>Plush hands 2 soft.
>Send help.
h-honeyyyy.

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>>9424714
>>9424715
Wow. Comments about my one bad match. How original. Come back when you have something new, it gets kinda boring hearing the same stuff all the time.
>>9424744
Yeah, plenty. Obviously I don't win 100% of my matches, but that just means there's still room to improve. I'm looking forward to getting better.
>>9424745
Who are you...?

>>9424773
ok

>>9424773
ok.

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>>9424773
Serena, better known as "that one chick that helped Calem BTFO Team Flare" and currently I'm suffering from this wonderful thing called Insomnia.
So, might as well waste the time I can't fucking sleep. What do you people do on here?

>>9424773
ok...

What's the only thing Alain can hit?

His SO.

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>>9424773
Good evening!
I trust you are settling into our glorious Region?

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>>9424764
YOUR SELF IS WORTHLESS
>Hyper Beam

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>>9424809
We consider suicide.
Serena how do you clean bloodstains out of a carpet?
>>9424821
PUT A FUCKING SHIRT ON!

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>>9424844
Depends, is it dry?
What the heck did you do to get blood on your carpet anyways?

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>>9424782
>>9424802
>>9424814
ok
>>9424819
My what?
>>9424809
Apparently we say ok a lot.
>>9424821
Kinda? It's different. I insulted someone by not taking off my shoes. Again.
>>9424844
Bloodstains. From a carpet. I just. Why do all the weird people gather here?

>>9424859
Significant other.

Except you can't even hit that because you don't have one.

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>>9424854
...My Sylveon gets creative with intruders.
Is it bleach? Baking soda?
>>9424859
Alain please help.

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>>9424883
Warm water and baking soda. Cold will set the stain.

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>>9424844
Rank has its privilege, and I will not cover my physique any more than I would make Machamp wear a shirt.
In short, no, and you cannot force me to do so.
>>9424859
Ah, our customs do take some getting used to. I understand.
I simply opt not to wear shoes, as my soles are as granite from years of intense training!

>>9424859
Apparently, we also give cleaning advice.

>>9424883
I thought I told you to get a wrangle on that thing when it was still an Eevee! Uuugh, get a steel brush and scrub at it, then get a soapy washcloth and scrub it again

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>>9424902
>DRINK

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>>9424879
Ok? We don't really bother with that in Kalos. You just have a trillion affairs and call it good.
>>9424883
Suuuure. You know I'm just going to google the answer, right?
By the way, Google says dishwashing detergent in warm water on a washcloth.
>>9424899
I... Guess that works. In Kalos I would be flayed alive for not wearing the best shoes I had whenever possible.
>>9424902
I guess so. What's next, fashion advice?

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>>9424894
Thank you.
>>9424899
I WILL COME OVER THERE AND FORCE YOU INTO A SHIRT MYSELF.
WEAR SOMETHING TIGHT FOR FUCKS SAKE!
>>9424902
I DID! I'VE GONE THROUGH LIKE TWO BEFORE THIS ONE!! Oh god he has another trash bag I have to go.
Serena. Don't ask where Tierno and Trevor went.

>>9424941
...Man you guys are weird.

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>>9424941
Not yet, I don't think.

>>9424943
I swear you and Sylveon are just not meant to be.

...Good, I was wondering why I wasn't hearing showtunes or whiny manchildren.

>>9424954
I'm going to be honest here, moving from Orre to Kalos is a bit of a culture shock.

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>>9424941
For some people that would work well, though such customs would be a challenge for me given my involvement in the rich tradition of martial arts here.
May I ask how the Gym is faring so far?
>>9424943
NO. I DO NOT EVEN OWN A SHIRT.

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>>9424954
And you guys feel pretty weird to me. I still don't get your obsession with making relationships and sex go hand in hand. You're all so.... distant and hands off as well. There's none of the casual hugs for greetings.
>>9424990
How are you liking Kalos?
>>9424970
I don't think I'm fit for fashion advice anyway. According to Sycamore wearing a hoodie under a labcoat and overtop of a dress shirt is "a fashion crime".

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So my boss asked me to make a more deadly aquatic predator pokemon, so I spliced the ferocious Gyarados DNA with the Stealthy Vaporeon DNA. I call it a Vaporados. It likes to eavesdrop on pokemon and people.

>>9425040
Looks 'shopped, fampai.
If that was real you'd have the IP up your ass. Or those weirdos out of Unova.

>>9425035
>Fucking auto update
I haven't managed to find Tobias yet, so all of the plans for the gym are just rough possibilities right now. The gym battle being a double battle is the only thing I have set in stone right now.
-Alain

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>>9425035
That's just wrong, wear a shirt.

>>9425037
So it is. Three layers, especially those ones, is just absurd.
Not as absurd as Delphox's ear hair though, it's stupid how fast it grows, weekly trimmings, WEEKLY.

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>>9425061
My employers have ensured total protection from legal authorities. Here is another specimen.

>>9425037
Really not missing the desert, still missing not having give an excuse to be in blue overalls the entire day even years after. Got a few fancy handkerchiefs though, those seem to sate the coworkers thirst for fashion.

>>9425040
>>9425123
Nice photoshop

>more hybrids
fuck thiiissss

>>9425153
Please remain calm and seated in the proper upright position, oxygen masks will be deployed shortly.

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>>9425118
Nice Photoshop work.
>Just letting you know, we already had a Hybrid plot done by Aether and it was pretty unpopular. We'd prefer if a repeat didn't happen.
>>9425123
Maybe get a scarf?
>>9425087
Ouch. Well, it was comfortable.

>>9425118
if these are real then I am actually king of Kalos
and I don't see a crown on my head so I can't be a king

>>9425118
Fake and gay, and if they're not, Arceus won't have mercy for you.

>>9425162
(I know I'm just gonna get hatebonered away but seriously fuck hybrids they dont fit at all get this guy out please.)

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>>9425085
Hmm. That is unorthodox... but perhaps it could work.
I look forward to seeing what you and Tobias devise for the Gym! Perhaps I'll challenge it just to keep the team sharp! Hahaha!
>>9425087
I do not sneer at you for your general touchiness, your lax views on social issues, or your refusal to accept that Rocket is a threat that my Region must be vigilant for any resurgence of.
Do not sneer at me for refusing this.

>>9425192
Workin on it senpai'ly

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>>9425118
That's impressive, excellent art, really, I could ALMOST picture this as being real!
In case you can't tell, that was sarcasm, these things are disgusting and if you think they exist you need mental help.

>>9425185
I can't see how, a dress shirt under a hoodie just seems like it would get tight!

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>>9425192
( GM Ray here, we hear you and the GMs online right now are of a similar mind. We went down that road once and don't really want to do it again. )

>>9425139
>>9425185
>>9425187
>>9425189
>>9425192
>>9425205
>>9425220
(Jesus you guys get triggered easily by simple posts. You should be thankful I'm not the trolling type to shut down threads with things people don't like. Besides, I didn't break any actual rules of trash, so reporting me to "get rid of me" is blowing things waaaaaaay out of proportion, don't you think? All I wanted to do was have a comfy one-three off hybrid roleplay post. Teaches me to have fun, huh?)

>>9425185
Scarves and other hanging threads are a hazard when working with heavy machinery and such.

>>9425192
(The consensus is that they will not be allowed out of the blue)
(That and the genera unpopularity of these kind of plots)

>>9425229
Welcome to the secret club now get out

>>9425229
>Reporting
Are you actually this stupid

>>9425229
(We have thread rules and breaking them gets this type of response, or you just get completely ignored, or you get Arceus'd, either way don't do hybrids, hybrids are bad)

>>9425229
(its just that hybrids/fusions is a whole can of worms we don't want to really open without like extreme restrictions on how they are made or how common they are)
(we just don't want shit like a Lucarichu or some shitty OC pokemon to become commonplace here)

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>>9425220
I was poor so... It was a pretty large dress shirt. I'm a shame to Kalosian fashion.
>>9425229
(Who said anything about reporting? Just letting you know that hybrid plots aren't really allowed anymore and giving you a reason why.)
(Could still change it into a guy who makes taxidermy hybrid concepts or something.)
>>9425204
I'll keep an eye out for you. Until we get something planned I've just left Blue's gym design in.
>>9425233
Understandable. Where do you work?

>>9425247
You do realize hybrids are nowhere in the rules

>>9425238
>>9425261
>(I know I'm just gonna get hatebonered away but seriously fuck hybrids they dont fit at all get this guy out please.)
>Get this guy out
>Workin on it senpai'ly
Right here, in the posts.
>>9425235
You guys are really aggressive.
>>9425247
You guys need to learn how to properly interact with Anons, you run the gambit of angering someone who actually would care to spam the thread after such responses.
>>9425252
You honestly could have told me in a more calm fashion, without the
>reeeeeee get it out
posts.

>>9425279
Except there's no mention of the word report or even the vague implications of it anywhere, so.
You're a fucking dipshit.

>>9425279
>>9425261
>>9425238

>(I know I'm just gonna get hatebonered away but seriously fuck hybrids they dont fit at all get this guy out please.)
>Get this guy out
>Workin on it senpai'ly
>Right here, in the posts.
he's got you there, that does look like a report ask.

>>9425298
You don't know how to read? It's there quite clearly. Fucking downs syndrome fag.

>>9425279
>You guys are really aggressive.
PAR is where the passive aggressive shitheels congregate

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>>9425229
(Welcome to PAR, first read the rules and become desensitized to general shitposting)
(I'll cut you some slack now, this case was not set in the rules yet)
(Either way, hybrid plots and similar that affect the canon need to be reviewed before being given the green light)

>>9425330
>Projecting

>>9425279
(yeah, we could use more OOC shit asking about shit beforehand instead of just immediately assuming everyone who does something questionable is a shitposter trying to cause shit and start treating them as such)
(doesn't help that people don't like and avoid filling the thread full of OOC stuff asking/discussing stuff and actively avoid OOC posting unless absolutely necessary which is often too late to discuss the plot or whatever)

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>>9425279
>>9425309
(It didn't really read as a report threat to me, but I can see how it might read that way to other people.)
(Sorry about the aggressiveness, we have a lot of shit stirrers here. Also sorry for not being sooner in my response about hybrid plots being banned, I kinda waited a bit too long for my (You)s.)
(But yeah, as >>9425339 said they're banned but I haven't had a chance to add it in the rules yet, sooorry.)

>>9425343
Not an argument, dingus.
>>9425334
>>9425339
>>9425351
>>9425360
Lame. Well, have fun with your unwritten/to be written rules of engagement.

>>9425394
i blame discord we rely on it too much for discussing plot and character stuff in there and it kinda leaves the the thread only people in the dark with no clue what the heck anyone is planning or even doing

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>>9425394
(A majority of relevant rules are in the rules Pastebin, you just happened to have the bad luck of trying the plot I didn't get a chance to add in.)
(Sounds like you're leaving so, see ya anon. Again, sorry about the whole thing.)

>>9425438
Nobody cares what you think Noodles.

>>9425438
Just leave already Noodles.

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>>9425261
I still don't understand why you needed three layers, there's only one point in Kalos that gets cold enough to need two layers, and that's... uuuugh what's the name of it, the ice gym, next to the forest...

>>9425261
I don't have a fixed place of work, but mostly the gyms and other League buildings in Kalos, occasionally Unova.

>>9425530
Just thinking about that place gives me the shivers, I needed four layers to save off the cold.

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>>9425530
Snowbelle? I get cold easily. It happens once you get used to snuggling a fire type.
>>9425619
Any tips for gym design?

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>>9425619
Wow, really?

>>9425654
I snuggle my Delphox and the cold doesn't bother me, weird.

>>9425654
For the love of God, don't imitate Skyla's gym, it was a pain to set up and messes up challengers harder than any Kantoese gym. Teleport pad mazes are also finicky and boring.
Personally I like gyms like the Driftveil and Opelucid ones, mechanically impressive while not too disorienting.
>>9425682
You can take the man out of Orre but you can't take Orre out of the man. The good parts of Orre anyway, as little as they are now.

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>>9425682
I snuggle a Dracaufeu. An X Dracaufeu, when he Mega Evolves. And you may be underestimating the amount of time I spend snuggling him.
>>9425800
And where on that scale would Blue's version of Viridian fall?

>>9425654
NO MAZES FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS PLEASE
NO TELEPORTER BULLSHIT
NO INVISIBLE WALLS
NO MOVEMENT PADS

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>>9425800
That makes much more sense.

>>9425845
Oh, glad to know I'm not the only cuddleslut around here. Lately I've been letting my Delphox get as handsy as close as he wants -which means I'm sitting in his lap right now- and I STILL can't sleep.
Stupid life overdose.

>>9425859
Alternatively: all of these at once.

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>>9425859
What? Koga's invisible wall maze is a classic!
It would be in poor taste to steal the teleporter or invisible wall ideas, though, as they're already in use.

>>9425923
DO NOT.
>>9425928
Please, no more.

>>9426002
Yeeees.
Add in surges dumpster diving and we've got a winning design.

>>9425845
Boring, but at least it is not a maze of invisible walls.

>>9425859
We seem to be in the same page, so they say.

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>>9425859
Blue's gym already had movement pads so those are staying until I get an actual plan for the gym.
>>9425918
What do you mean by that?
>>9426045
I'll try and think up something interesting.

>>9425928
I got it
you should do a Fog maze
its a maze where the fog is that thick that you can't even see the nose on your face
throw in some one way doors and a loop and you have a winner gym

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>>9425918
Good taste
Cuddles are the best
>>9426045
Is that why all the Trainers who came to Fuschia were grumpy all the time?
An invisible wall maze?

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How do you guys calm down when you are really nervous about doing something?

>>9425928
It is in poor taste as well because of maintenance as well.

>>9426094
Not only it would be annoying to the trainers, it would also be annoying to maintain, on top of the costs.

>>9426108
Only a madman or someone who hates trainers would do something like that.

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hey guys
nice dead hours
guess ill like
stick a bunch of christmas bows on metagross and sord while i wait for peeps to wake up

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>>9426062
Which part, the part where I let my Delphox use me as a Tessy bear or the life overdose?

>>9428195
Teddy bear*

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>>9424123
Too strong. everyone has to have one on their team.


>>9427985
But it ain't christmas friendo.

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>>9424123
...
Yes.

Daily reminder that blastoise is made for fugging and/or getting fugged by.

jiji has a fucking obsession
he always have the equivalent of a panic attack when no one is talking about rp related things this needs to fucking stop
he needs to take a break

>>9429188
>the person that runs the RP thread gets mad when people shit up the RP thread
Shocking.

>>9429188
wow its
almost like
the guy that made this place
wait hold on
oh fuck im getting breaking news
jirachi cares about the quality
holy shit
next youre gonna say skitts cares about the quality
oh no

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Why aren't you cumming in ghosts?

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>>9429334
They're not lively enough..

>>9429257
>>9429305
>talking about other things ooc in the discord is ruining the rp
k

>>9429389
Go to bed Noodles.

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>>9429377
>Not having the best fugs of your life with ghosts.
What you doing fampai?

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>>9429418
I'm doing your mother.

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>>9429422
...So... My Gengar? She's a fucker anyway, don't do her. Take the Chandelier.

>>9429418
>wake up, get coffee, shitpost.
Er, not ghosts?
Don't get me wrong, Ghost-types are cool, I'm just not into them that way.
Besides, I'm not sleeping around right now.

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>>9429334
uuuuh no?

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>>9429461
My cuddly chandeliers for me. Lewd lightfixtures. Etc.
Lemme guess, you have only one lover?
>>9429506
Yesssssss?

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>>9429516
I know i'm going to regret asking this but, How does that even work?

>>9429516
That's correct. My bedroom habits may have gotten me fired back in Kanto, but I suppose that there's still some Kantonese in me.
>>9429563
I'm morbidly curious as well. Fitting, given the subject matter.

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>>9429563
Depends on the ghost, really. If a Chandelure likes you the flames don't burn. Heck, it feels really nice to cuddle up with them.
Lewd times are usually either heavy petting or kissing.
>>9429639
I understand. Kinda in a relationship with my Chandelure and Aegislash. It's fun.

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>>9429639
I think humans are gross and all but what you do in the bedroom is your own business. Hate when people can't mind their own business. Makes it really hard to burn things down without getting in trouble with the law.

>>9429658
I require more detail. do they even have those parts?

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>>9429696
Nope, sadly they don't. Some ghosts do, uh, Gengar do, etc. Pokemon like Chandelure, Aegislash and Dhelmise don't.

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>>9429802
i mean
that should be a no shit situation
where the hell would an aegislash dick even be
why would i want my aegislash to have a dick
be awkward as fuck
go to stab and enemy and a dick flops out onto their face
oh shit sorry about the massive dong in your face sir
looks like my sword got an awkward boner
guess well have to turn this into a different kind of fencing

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>>9429802
Man. why though?

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>>9429933
Is this the proper place to discuss this sort of thing, sire? I-I would rather you not!

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>>9429946
whats wrong sord
not like you got an awkward boner to be embarrassed about right
dont gotta worry about a random dong during sword fights do i
>Dave sticks a sparkly red Christmas present now on Sord's hilt

>>9430019
(Fuck, that should be "bow")

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>>9429941
help
>>9430019
N-nay? Of course not! A ghost can change their body at will, sire.
Hence why in defense form the blade is less sharp than attack form.
>Sord pats the bow.
...Thank you?

>>9430019
>>9430058
Sirs?
Can I ask you a bit about non-lewd Aegislash-line care? I'm asking for someone I know, and they've got the polishing thing down. I'll probably pick up a whetstone for them today too.

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>>9430058
>Dave pauses midway through sticking a green Christmas bow on Sord
wait what
you can change your body at will
is that your way of saying you could have a dick if you wanted
>>9430094
whetstones really arent necessary
they can sharpen themselves
last i checked letting someone else sharpen you was like
a trust thing more than anything
dont get the tassels dirty
itll be a bitch and a half to clean if you do
uhhh really thats all i can say cause like
most things would be better answered by sord himself

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>>9430094
Polishing is perfect. A whetstone every day or after every battle is good for trust building but we can sharpen ourselves. Uh, please don't use our arms as napkins.
Uh, when they become an Aegislash do make sure the trainer has them in defense form most of the time. It mitigates the annoying cuts.
If you have any more specific questions please ask Dave or I.
>>9430146
>Attempt to hold back being flustered.
...Yes? Many of the other... "Objectmons" as most call them can preform the same. M-mostly a matter of preference.

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>>9430186
im still kinda confused on where the dick goes but ok
>mitigates the annoying cuts
but sord
sord
dude
what if being cut and clawed is my fetish

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>>9430146
>>9430186
>>9430265
Okay then.
I learned a lot today. Maybe a little more than I was planning on.
Thanks, sirs. I'll get back to work now, you've helped me out a lot.

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>Wake up
>Check thread
>Sord dicc discussion
Maybe I should just go back to bed.

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>>9430542
I find it funny, in a disgusting way.

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>>9430564
Pokephilia doesn' bother me at all but
>Swords
>With dicks
I'm so confused.

>>9430639
You and me both.
I really don't get it.
I'm not judging, but I don't get it.
>Frankie: get your ass to work

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>>9430639
I've seen weirder and lived weirder. Part of why I can't fucking sleep even if I want to.

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>>9430777
>777
>Hey
>Hey is this weird enough
>Cat: come out of the fuggin ether and drive by a binch with a sack of coins

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>>9430807
OW
FUCKING
WHERE'D IT GO!?

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>>9430777
Weirder? Wanna share?
>>9430840
Meowth with a sack of coins?

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>>9430876
Yes, meowth with a sack of coins. Ow, my face.

As for weirder things, protip: don't hug Xerneas.

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>>9430917
WHYEVER NOT, SERENA?

>>9429802
>>9430058
>>9430186
Interesting.
Very interesting.

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>>9430917
Ah. Here's my protip: Primal Kyogre and Primal Groudon's attacks have a ridiculously wide range. Also, Mega Rayquaza's Draco Meteor is no joke.
>>9430974
.... there's a legendary here.

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>>9430974
You filled me with life energy, Xerneas, I haven't aged a day since I touched you and I haven't slept a night since either.

>>9430991
So there is.

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>>9430991
A LEGENDARY? WHERE, MY FRIEND?
HEH HEH.
>>9430998
AH. I CAN SEE HOW THAT SIDE EFFECT MAY BE... DISCONCERTING.
MY DEAREST APOLOGIES.

>>9430998
I know something else he could fill you with.
Good thing you're already not sleeping~

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>>9430998
>>9431054
... right. Is this normal...?

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>>9431054
I've had two years or so to get used to it, but even so there are some nights that still bother me.
Also I have NO idea how long I'm going to live now, so I'm just wondering if I'm immortal like that one creepy dude.

>>9431111
No clue, but I know Xerneas, so it's not THAT weird to me.

>>9431123
So, how exactly did Xerneas make you sleepless?

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>>9429451
>roll to take Chandelier
HAHA MINE

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>>9431111
FOR WHAT CONSTITUTES NORMAL IN THIS STRANGE AGE, PERHAPS.
>>9431123
HMM... I AM NOT ENTIRELY SURE.
AGAIN, MY DEEREST APOLOGIES.
I DOUBT, HOWEVER, THAT YOU WILL BE AROUND AS LONG AS THE GENTLEMAN YOU MENTION.
>>9431077
CEASE THIS, PLEASE.

>>9431247
>talk to serena
>never calem
ok ray

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>>9431236
>Smolbirb: pull a bigborb
>Roost on the catte

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>>9431221
I don't know, I'm just always awake, like, so full of energy that sleep is impossible.

>>9431247
Well, that's a relief, I think.

>>9431313
(Calem isn't here right now dude, they weren't on at the same time last night)

>>9431247
Oh deer god.
Why is that you call this period a strange age?

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>>9431445
>pap the smolbirb
Wassup bird brain?

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>>9431477
Me.
>Tap tap with beak
I dunno, like, nothing basically.
What up with the chandelier?

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>>9431521
Dunno. Some dweeb told me to take it. Apparently he was bangin' it. Perv.

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>>9431549
Lewd.
..How the heck do you shag a lamp?

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>A girl wakes up snuggling her Gengar
>She grabs her phone off the bedside table, glad to find she hadn't been robbed or anything in the night
Hey guys, guess I'm gonna find a Gligar today...

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>>9431564
I mean, you could just like grab onto one of the bars and grind on it, or like, if you're really stretched out you could probably like shove one of those scones inside- N-NOT THAT I'M THINKING ABOUT THAT JUST LIKE FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT

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>>9431459
THANK YOU.
>>9431462
I AWOKE TO A CONSPIRACY WHICH REQUIRED MY FULL ATTENTION TO ADDRESS, AND DISCOVERED SHORTLY THEREAFTER THAT A SIMILAR INCIDENT HAD OCCURRED ELSEWHERE ONLY A FEW YEARS BEFOREHAND.
FURTHERMORE, MORE OF MY LEGENDARY KIN HAVE ANOINTED MORTAL CHAMPIONS THAN NOT.
THE CHAOS OF THIS YEAR HAS SIMPLY BEEN THE MOST VISIBLE, ALTHOUGH POSSIBLY THE LEAST THREATENING.

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>>9431602
Mmmmhm, suuure you aren't. Wouldn't the uh, fire hurt though?
That seems like it might hurt.
Like, a lot.

>>9431666
You think you know the why of these changes in legendary pokemon behaviour? You and your kin seem to be less in hiding recently.

slash/jiji/bones/borb

>>9431798
no shrews allowed

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>>9431737
I CANNOT SPEAK FOR MY KIN. I PERSONALLY HAVE BEEN WATCHING EVENTS UNFOLD WITH A GREAT DEGREE OF INTEREST, THOUGH.

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>>9431737
kinda hard to hide when galactic just "lol look we're gonna catch palkia and dialga at the spear pillar" famalasada

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>>9431737
i have never possessed an interest in hiding. it has just been ages since a worthy hero showed himself.

Eat your heart out Rowan, I told you interaction leads to better understanding than observation!
Anyway...

>>9431841
Truly a strange age, then.

>>9431869
I saw the light show all the way from Jubilife, that was real bloody impressive.

>>9431891
That's interesting, who would you call a "hero"?

>>9431841
>>9431869
>>9431891
(Stop with the fuxking leggoposting. Good god this is like old PAR.)

>>9432096
(yeah i have to admit the thread gets stale when its just skitts samefagging his leggos)

>>9432096
>>9432096
>>9432096
(Stop with the fuxking whining. Good god it's like you mother doesn't love you.)

>>9432113
>>9432096
(I wasn't planning on having Palkia answer past that, but whatever. Suit yourself, have a dead thread instead.)

>>9432096
>>9432113
this
skitts cant get in any good plots lol gotta power up the gms

>>9432096
>>9432113
>>9432149
>Samefagging this hard

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>>9432011
INDEED.
FOR NOW, I WILL BE OFF.
FAREWELL.
>>9432096
>>9432113
>>9432149
>(complaining about samefagging)
>(samefags the complaint twice)
>(shiggy)

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well
i got back, that metagross just went dissappeared
oh well

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>>9431666
I don't know why you're thanking me, I wasn't mad at you or anything, I've actually enjoyed not needing sleep and not aging at the same rate as everyone else, I've got a lot more time to do things like make outfits for my pokemon and care for them.

>>9432169
Wait I have one last question...
Welp.
Guess I will have to find that out myself.

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YAY
The things arrived
That was super fast
Best day ever
My Trainers gonna be so happy

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>>9432230
I'm sure he'll be back, not like there's anything urgent going on in the world right now.

>>9432355
I didn't knew they issued cards for pokemon there.

>>9432390
Maybe, maybe not. This may turn out badly but I don't fear it.

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>>9432355
What was it you got for your trainer?

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>>9432479
I borrowed my Trainers card
Its ok though
He'll thank me later
>>9432508
He was saying the floor's always cold
So I went and got him
A whole bunch of nice rugs for the floor!
There's even enough to share!
Its great!

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>>9432540
..... how many rugs did you buy?

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>>9432646
Umm
I need to check
. . .
Fifteen
Its a big place though

>>9432699
RIP your trainer's wallet

>>9432646
>Grunt status: Outside, trying to figure out who ordered the giant package from Kalos.

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>>9432699
B-But that must have cost a babiillion Poke!

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>>9432767
A BABILLION POKE?!
>joyeuse doesn't know how much that is, or even if that is a number, but he was surprised nonetheless

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>>9432727
Its ok
His jobs pretty great
>>9432767
maaaaaaybe
not that much but it was a lot

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>>9432699
That's.... Voice my apologies to Frankie.
>>9432748
... if you could deliver the package to Frankie's room it would be most appreciated.
>>9432851
.... How much?

>>9432851
Who is he that he can pay for all those rugs, president of Silph?

>rolling for Trouble in a later post

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>>9432806
I know! Rugs are pretty, but fifteen rugs is a lot of rug!
I don't even think Daddy could lift that!

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>>9432479
Who are you anyways?

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>>9432869
>>9432883
Um
He had a few months pay saved up in case of trouble
They aren't antiques or anything
They just look nice and are comfy

>>9432886
>roll to make it Double

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>>9432900
indeeed it must be quite a hassle to have so many rugs

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>>9432943
Vapey? What are you going to do if trouble actually happens and he needs that money?

>>9432869
>Grunts: nod.
>Sounds of Surprise™: happen.
>Distant incoherent AAAAA: also happen.

>>9432931
Just some failure from Jubilife.

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>>9432982
Um
I didn't think that far ahead
I was just thinking about the cold feet problem
And how big this place is
Uh
. . .
I am in so much trouble aren't I

>>9433022
Well, guess you will have to return the rugs.

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>>9432990
Thank you. Have a good day, you three. Lunch is a chicken stew, apparently.
>>9433022
Not necessarily, but it is likely he will scold you in some form.

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>>9433081
Well darn
I was trying to do a nice thing and overdid it
>>9433100
I'm gonna to talk to him now
I hope he's not too grumpy
See you later

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>>9432999
Oh. Sinnoh, well, I guess you'renot alone, lots of other people out there are failures. Of course, you could always try your hand at Pokemon training, you can't really go wrong with that career.

>>9433186
Kind of a long story, but, I'm not in good terms with the local professor.

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>>9433201
Change regions then, bum a ride, get a license, pick up a pokeball, go out there and find a friend, it's really not that hard, children do it, and well, if Calem and I could manage to get this strong with our Pokemon, anything can happen.

...It's odd really, I never thought I'd be one of the "pokedestined" I grew up hearing about, I still don't consider myself on the level of Red or Ruby or even that new kid Sun.

>>9433277
First I'm going to do what may be one final bout of research then I don't know, maybe I will do that.

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>>9433378
Have fun with it, don't just go for the first Pokemon you meet though, otherwise you might wind up with an incompatible partner.

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>>9431682
Yeah but on the other hand you'd have the hottest ass.


>>9431840
(I always thought sandslash was supposed to be a pangolin)

How do you knoweth if a human has feelings for you?

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>>9433451
Usually they'll tell you eventually, but some other indicators might be then spending more time with you, getting more physically intimate -hugs, cuddles, that sort of thing that they can pass off as platonic- and getting flustered easily around you.

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>>9433451
Put your dick in it ya queer.

>>9433487
...I see.
>>9433514
I-I do not have a dick!
...Normally.

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>>9433430
..Good point.
Well, that's all you, meowmix. I ain't got the booty.

>>9433451
Fug em.

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>>9433451
You don't. humans lack feelings.

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>>9433451
>>9433519
Could you describe how your human is behaving?
>>9433535
We are as capable of feelings as any Pokemon.

>>9433398
I know, I studied pokemon behavior for a while.
Fuuuuuuck, always remember to be nice to the pokemart clerks, they usually have shitty lives.

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>>9433519
Wow, just gonna yell about your junk in public huh? Freak.

>>9433526
Two words egghead: Boiling. Cloaca.

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>>9433544
Oh yeah? Prove it.

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>>9433519
Good luck!

>>9433552
...There are people who are mean to you guys? Geez, maybe it's just a Sinnoh thing?

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>>9433558
..DeDeDe please.
I'm fragile.
And sensitive to heat.

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>>9433451
>>9433519
sord
get off the dex dude

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>>9433526
>>9433535
>>9433558
>>9433584
...
>>9433544
He's rather... Flirty?
>>9433601
...There is no sord.

>>9433594
SHOVE THAT CAT DICK IN YOUR BOILING HOT CLOACA

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>>9433572
Seeing or smelling french fries brings the feeling of comfort and joy, despite the fact that I do not particularly enjoy the flavor of fries.
I feel fear when I smell smoke or hear the cracks of a whip, the same feeling accompanies the touch of others.
I fell in love with another human after a long run of pain, fear, and anger.
But I get the feeling you will simply write off everything I say. Most humans who argue against Pokemon having feelings do the same, I've grown used to it.
>>9433618
I see. That does imply interest on some level. Has this been going on long?

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>>9433661
YOU!
What's with you? First you bring your slavers here and you actually try to be decent, helping pokemon out? Then what? You just leave?
Why? I demand an answer!

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>>9433638
I will peck your eyes out.

>>9433519
Just normally?

>>9433584
Mostly the brats beginning their journey, first they cry we do not sell master balls nor I can't legally sell them a great ball at all yet, or complain that their pokemon can't learn the TM they wasted weeks of allowances on.

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>>9433742
Ooooh, yeah I was kinda confused about not being able to buy great and ultra balls at first too, that makes sense. Still, little kids are rude if they're throwing tantrums in public like that.

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>>9433736
>Roll to stuff a dildo that won't kill him up the cloaca.

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>>9433686
We've had to withdraw operations from all regions aside from Unova and Alola due to pressures created by the loss of three admins. If you need assistance in Sinnoh I can send someone over to try and help with the issue, but it make take some time for them to get there.

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>>9433845
Fine. I will do your job for you.

>>9433807
The worst part is that they often come with their parents. Bloody hell, they make my life already hard enough.

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>>9433834
>LEWD SQUAWK
whyyy.

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>>9433845
(*May take)
(Fug)
>>9433907
There's an abusive trainer off of Route 213 we didn't get a chance to investigate. I would suggest avoiding the area.

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>>9433927
Wow, that's terrible! I haven't seen or heard anything like that in the pokemarts around Kalos, maybe you really do need to change regions!

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>>9433959
Why not? If you keep complaining I'll stuff more in there.

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>>9433927
>children
found the problem dude

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>>9434019
Please god no.
That was already too much.
Spare a birb.

>>9434068
You say that like you took it out already

>>9434018
If I have to endure one more month of Rowan further torturing my life with these shits I'm going to snap.

>>9434033
Well said.

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>>9434033
>Poke the Dave.
Uh... I had never answered your earlier question. Um.
I do not think being cut is a good... Idea, sir.

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>>9434102
>Dave counters with a poke of his own, to the tassel-hand thing rather than the blade
i was mostly thinking like
shallow cuts and whatnot
its not like
the safest fetish ever
but hey most pain based fetishes arent
thats why we got aftercare dude

>>9434102
>roll to make sord human

>>9434211
>Dave has gotten a dubsfail every single time he's touched sord what the fuck is this shit
>I don't even know what to do with this dubsfail
>Fuk u dice gods

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>>9434211
>>9434228
>You manage to poke him in the eye instead.
>Attempt to keep composure.
S-sire. I'd rather avoid hurting you.
...I suppose, uh, if it is what you want?
>>9434227
>Fail.
>You got one more try.

>>9434264
...
jirachi i wish all aegislash were human for two hours

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>>9434279
Man that's a specific wish. Alright.
>Ding.
Granted!

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>>9434279
>>9434301
You wh-
MURA NO

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>>9434264
oh shit
sorry sord
>The hand is immediately withdrawn, Dave unsure what to do with it
ive still got xerneas magic healing factor dude but like
if it makes you uncomfortable i wont make you do it dude
>>9434279
>>9434301
... huh

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WHERE CAN I GET ZIPTIES OR ROPE ON SHROT NOTICE

>>9434386
Dollar store

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>>9434386
Home Depot!

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>>9434279
>>9434301
...
>>9434318
I still think it w-
...
I feel strange.

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>>9434087
...I may be able to get you a lift. Jubilife, right? Just give me a name and I can get you a plane ticket to wherever you want.

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>>9434415
>>9434421
THANKS.
TELL QUINCY I SAID HI. AS IN HIS GHOST.

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>>9434443
....
welp
you got turned into me
sweet
ok obvs most of the piercings are gone but like
think the important ones are still there?