ITT: Pokemon are real. What's your favorite mega evolu

>>8509001
SERP FIRST

im gsy

>>8509001
bones/jiji/slash otp

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>>8509001
Rocks is cheat
I tell rock bird this but he not listen
At least we cheat on same side now

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>>8509012
how yuo feele i cam in forst
i won

i want bones to be my mom

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>>8509001
mega scizor
it may be a biased, but it's my choice

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>>8508954
Yeah, that was uh, that was my bud.
Well, they were when we ordered them so, the fuck dude. And I ain't got a way to get to Hau'Oli, man. There's gotta be something y'all can do for us.

>>8509000
dude, back it up.
personal space.

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>>8508501
Do you think I might be too much for him to handle in the end?
I was being as gentle and slow as I could, and I still snapped him like a twig.

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>>8509001
Mega Lucario!

I wanna be a cool mega someday!

>>8509115
same

>>8509164
Is he a turtwig?

>>8509165
The moment you evolve and got the rock remember this trick for successful self megaevolving: fill your mind with extremely gay thoughts

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>>8509001
Mega Banette.
Maybe mega Garchomp as a second.

>>8509164
turts detected

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>>8509164
You two must set boundaries to what can or cannot happen
He getting hurt this often isn't good for his health
>>8509207
She said before that he was a grovyle

>>8509230
mom!

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what pokeymon is this???

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>>8509001
Mega Wakchomp.
>>8509230
Who's mom are you?

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>>8509165
i know you will little guy

>>8509281
mom

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>>8509252
..what.

>>8509268
Nobodies?.. I'm a guy. You know this.

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>>8509207
He's a Grovyle.

>>8509240
You are right.
There's a big difference in weight and overall strength between us. It's scary how easy it is for me to hurt him.
Maybe I'll draw the line now. Before this happens again.

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>>8509295
i don't have a kid
i never laid an egg

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>>8509163
Yeah, sure.
>Robert goes back to laying on the hood of his car, twiddling his thumbs and listening in to half of the conversation.

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>>8509163
Bro.
I've been plotting the heist while you guys have been on the Quest for KFC.
I think I got a plan.
We get in through ventilation, or with a little assist from my best bud and secret weapon.
Then, we fuckin' make the breach site a nightmare to engage us in while the Houndoom and Salazzle burn our way in.
Last, we grab as much of my old boss' shit as we can and bug the fuck out on flyers befor SPAT shows.
And speaking of SPAT, I got a distraction all planned out for them.

Any comments? Questions? Panic about us all dying?

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>UNIT ONE: SIT OUTSIDE THE CASTLE AND LOOK FOR NICE ROCKS

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>>8509350
thank.

>>8509355
Yeah, uh, why the hell don't we just like, port into the vault itself.
Save ourself the hassle of like, 90% of the effort.

>>8509253
smashthatlikemon

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>>8509320
Oh.
>>8509393
>Squint.
Bones do we have a tall bug son?

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>>8509443
..No?...

>>8509393
>Stare at buggotron 1000

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>>8509430
That works. Knowing Cartier and Darke, though, it's gonna be a fuckin' airtight thing. Move fast and hold your breath, all that shit.
( I got Plans for what's in the vault. Anybody object to weird bullshit in there, as long as it's not canon-breaking? )

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>>8509443
>>8509443
>>8509393
>Lobster lurks in his lake

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>>8509329
i there might be ways to work around that but i'm sure that he needs some resting time between those adventures
maybe next time you two have do have some intimate time together let him, be on top
let's not cause any more unnecessary injuries for now

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>>8509225
You're weird.

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>>8509163
Uh... How do you feel about coupons?

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>>8509443
>>8509473
>>8509489
>Unit One fails to notice any of the other Pokemon and continues on his quest to find a nice rock for Colress
>Roll for rock finding

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>>8509489
>Watch

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>>8509473
What is it??
>>8509489
Shelldon. What is it?
>>8509543
We come in peace? I mean do you come in peace?

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>>8509474
..Is there air in ultra space? Or are we gonna need fuggin, scuba shit?

>>8509531
..Do I sound like a middle aged housewife?
I don't know if we're gonna order from y'all again so like, hell, I don't know.
Whatcha got on offer.

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>>8509563
>Floats

>>8509572
...
Nothing. I didn't really say anything...
...
>Go back to floating

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>>8509543
Hellooo?

>>8509572
It's.. a robot.

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>>8509505
Apparently gay thoughts is self love strong enough to trigger a megastone.

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>>8509641
is it only gay toughts?

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>>8509668
I think so but I can't confirm since I don't have a mega evolution

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>>8509501
He's going to be resting for a while, I think. They just gave him a wheelchair.
He keeps insisting on being on the bottom, because he finds it exciting or something. Not sure why.

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>>8509641
>>8509668
>>8509684
ye its only gay thoughts man
can confirm
became a bird and megad

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>>8509684
Me neither
But apparently C mega evolved when she had lewd thought about me so maybe
Maybe it's just dirty thoughts in general but the first ones who noticed that were gay

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>>8509631
HELLO.
>>8509572
UNIT ONE: ASSIGNMENT: SPEND SEVERAL DAYS AT PYRITE TOWN KEEP ACQUAINTING SELF WITH THE RESIDENTS
ASSIGNED BY: COLRESS

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>>8509696
I guess he really like your booty then
Sometimes men can't control their urges
And sometimes it can be regretful

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>>8509614
Okay.
>>8509631
Can we keep it?
>>8509725
Woah. Coooooool.
>Touch bot leg.
Well, uh, welcome?

>>8509600
You can breathe in Ultra Space, I'm pretty sure.
We shouldn't be in there all that long, though.
Get in, get goods, get the fuck out and be gone by the time anyone knows the fuck's going on.

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>>8509777
aw, fuck. I forgot my image and I think I'm gonna get hit in the fuckin' face.
Drink, ya fucks.

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>>8509725
Oh, Colress sent you?
Well, uh, welcome to Ceridwyn Keep.
I'm Bones, the Banette is my husband, Stitch.
I.. hope you enjoy your stay?

>>8509776
..I think it's just visiting?
Maybe we can ask Colress for one if it likes it here?..

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>>8509788
>>8509777
>You thought correctly.
>Hey maybe you can catch a ride to hau'oli with this though.
>Gotta look on the bright side.
>Payday: apply directly to shemagh.

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>>8509776
>Unit One shifts his leg away from the ghost
COOL: INACCURATE
UNIT ONE IS EQUIPPED WITH THE BURN DRIVE. UNIT ONE IS HOT.
>>8509843
ARE THOSE YOUR DESIRED USER NAMES?

>pour a pentagram of only the finest salt harvested from a certain gengar
>place a gold leaf covered french fry container in the middle
>burn the container whilst chanting French fry, French fry, arise!

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>>8509843
I want oooone...
>>8509966
>Plush plop on ground.
Hot? I guess?
>Shrug.
Stitches is good. Alternatively... Hmm...
>>8509999
(Oh god what have you done.)

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>>8509600
Uh... coupons.
>He lowers his voice to a whisper
I mean, I can probably slip you some sexy pictures of Lysandre if you reeeeeeally want them. All the grunts have a few.
>>8509999
(Quads fail to summon Gladi. Why anon, why do you do this to meeeeeeeeeee. )

>>8510039
>>8510019
(im sorry)

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>>8509777
Okay cool so like, if we gotta breathe or something we can like, stick our heads in the portal or some shit? Just askin cause maybe one of us ain't got the best lung capacity.

>>8510039
dude what
why would i want lion-o nudes
why would anybody want that

>>8509999
you killed me
anon why
goodbye par
i will miss you
>roll to die dramatically

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>>8509843
M-MOMMY?!

>>8510124
>in the pile of ashes is an unburnable tag
>'Do not use in summoning rituals, for decoration only'
oh fucc

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>>8510124
>>8510082
(Gladi nooooooo)
(I never even got his number)
(Anon why, why?!)
>Roll for more drama
>>8510113
I don't know, it's the best I can do, unless you want shitty Lysandre dorito photoshops.

>>8510261
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
THE NIGGER ALARM HAS BEEN SPRUNG
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
THERE IS A NIGGER IN THE PREMISES
ACTIVATING THE NIGGER-DETECTOR-9000
>---------- 0% COMPLETE
ARMING THE NIGGER EXTERMINATORS
>++-------- 20% COMPLETE
ACTIVATING THE ANTI-NIGGER FORCE FIELD
>+++++----- 50% COMPLETE
CHARGING THE NIGGER ZAPPERS
>+++++++++- 90% COMPLETE
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
++++++++++ 100% COMPLETE
DESTROYING NIGGERS

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>>8510261
..I'll take the memes.

>>8510261
my numbers 6969696969 come fug me anon
shit i almost handed out a you
fuck
shit
my spaghetti

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Have any of you seen my mommy?

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>>8509999
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

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>>8509966
Yes.

>>8510019
Maybe later, hun.
Let's just show this one a good time for now I suppose.

>>8510143
..No.

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>>8510113
Pretty much, assuming that the box is airtight.
It might not be, who knows?

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>>8510318
>>8510143
where did all thse kids come from?
what happened to your family?

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>>8510286
Alright, I'll have them delivered tomorrow.
>>8510307
(One day man, one day I'll actually get your number. Hopefully. )
(Quick, shove it back in your pockets. You still have time. )

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>>8510433
I got lost playing hide-and-seek in the forest. I want to go home. I'm scared.

>>8510469
Anyone got fairy arceus on speed dial?

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>>8510343
Please don't leave again, mommy...

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>>8510469
well, let's go look fot your family kiddo
becareful

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>>8510436
Sweet.

>>8510391
...Now, I didn't do the best in physics class, or even go to it for that matter, but wouldn't the room.. have air sucked into it from ultra space?

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>>8510545
Okay. Thank you.

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>>8510484
Alola? Whaddya want, sport?

>>8510594
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
THE NIGGER ALARM HAS BEEN SPRUNG
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
THERE IS A NIGGER IN THE PREMISES
ACTIVATING THE NIGGER-DETECTOR-9000
>---------- 0% COMPLETE
ARMING THE NIGGER EXTERMINATORS
>++-------- 20% COMPLETE
ACTIVATING THE ANTI-NIGGER FORCE FIELD
>+++++----- 50% COMPLETE
CHARGING THE NIGGER ZAPPERS
>+++++++++- 90% COMPLETE
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
NIGGER ALERT
>NIGGER ALERT
++++++++++ 100% COMPLETE
DESTROYING NIGGERS

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>>8510553
Huh.
I went through what passes for school in Orre, so, like, I dunno. Sounds about right, though.
Oh, mind if I get a little comfier? The humidity here's fucking with me.

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>>8510579
well don't get too distant from me so you don't get lost
so where do you live?

>>8510594
We got a lost child situation.

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>>8510511
..I'm a male.
And I have never touched a female in my life or unlife.

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>>8510665
>Touch Bones.
Hello I am a sexy plush wife.

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>>8510609
Yeah dude, fuggin, stick your head in the freezer if you feel like it.
I ain't gonna stop ya.

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>>8510608
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
BEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOOBEEDOO
MINION ALERT
>MINION ALERT
MINION ALERT
>MINION ALERT
THE MINION ALARM HAS BEEN SPRUNG MINIONALERT
>MINION ALERT
MINION ALERT
>MINION ALERT
THERE IS A MINION IN THE PREMISES
ACTIVATING THE MINION-DETECTOR-9000
>---------- 0% COMPLETE
ARMING THE MINION MEMES
>++-------- 20% COMPLETE
ACTIVATING THE MINION MEMES
>+++++----- 50% COMPLETE
CHARGING THE MINION MEMES
>+++++++++- 90% COMPLETE
MINION ALERT
>MINION ALERT
MINION ALERT
>MINION ALERT
++++++++++ 100% COMPLETE
DESTROYING (YOU)

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>>8510553
>have air sucked into it from ultra space?
>Aquila: Actually exist.
As far as we know Ultra Space has oxygen.
Actually...
>Call up Sun.

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>>8510611
I... uhm... uh... I don't remember...

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>>8510715
...honeyyyy.
you know i'm the wife of the relationship.

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(Nice to see Turts is still trying to manipulate me, this time with shitposts. Hey Gladi, wanna come tamp me? )
>>8510777
>Answer the phone
Alola? Who's this?

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>>8510813
Where did you go, mommy?

>>8510813
>>8510715
You both would look good in a dress. You lesbians(male).

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>>8510828
(((Turts)))

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>>8510788
okay
>adri kneels down to him
so do you at least remember your name?
i'm adri
don't worry i won't hurt you
but well, let's go look for your mother, she must be worried about you

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>>8510828
Aquila. Is there oxygen in Ultra Space? I'll pay you 4000P if you give me a straight answer, please.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HOLY SHIT I'M LITERALLY
L I T E R A L Y
I
T
E
R
A
L
Y
DYINGGGG XDDDDDDDD

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>>8510831
helix why.

>>8510839
...shut.

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>>8510777
Aw, hell yeah. Science guy's got our backs. Speaking of backs, hang on.
>Ollie pulls off his shirt.
Need to wash this.
>There is a black shiny thing stuck in the center of Ollie's back. What the fuck.
You got a washing machine, or am I going to the corner quarter wash?

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>>8510896
Yeah! You can breathe just fine there!

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>>8510813
Cute.
>>8510839
Bite me.
>>8510911
You wanna be lesbians?

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>>8510645
What kinda kid?

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>>8510777
>777
>jingle jingle motherfucker
>Round 2 for gruntsquad
>Payday: apply directly to bowl cut

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>>8510857
No... Do you know where she is? I can't find my way out of the forest.

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>>8510927
Thank you. Have a nice day.
>Money transferred.
>Click.
>Beep beep beep.
>>8510923
You can breathe just fine in Ultra Space. May want to use the gas masks just in case there are extremely slow acting toxins.
>Black shiny thing.
Ollie? Is th-
>>8510951
>Thunk.
Oww.

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>>8510923
Ooooooh, you got one too?

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>>8510967
oh... well, let's first get out of the forest then
then we go looking for your mama
now hold my hand so you don't get lost

>>8510948
A stump ghost and a bone helmet.

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>>8510939
..Stitch we're guys. We can't be lesbians.
>Impure thoughts ahoy.
>Specifically about cute clothes.
>Oops.

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>>8511022
O-okay...
>clings to Adri's hand

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>>8510979
What? I know I haven't showered in a while, but I'm not that grimy, am I?
>>8510995
Totally.
I even tried it out.
I'm even more of a sneaky fuck now.

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>>8510923
Get walkin man, I ain't got that kinda cash.

>>8510979
Okay so we can breathe, that's good to know.

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>>8511031
I found my mommy! She's right there! >>8511059

>>8511063
anon stop this is way to cute

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>>8511063
okay
i'll keep you safe, so let's go out of this forest
>roll to find an exit
if we don't find your mom and it gets too late we can got to the house of my friend frankie and sleep there

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>>8511081
Where the hell did you get that from? How the hell does that make you sneaky?
>>8511093
Yep. Now we just need to figure out the...
>Idea.
Do you guys think I could convince Sun to scope the place we're going to out for us?

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What the fuck.
>Swig

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>>8511059
I mean... I probably could be a chick.
But then you'd be a hetero.
Kekekekeke. What's on your mind?

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>>8511145
I'm fining you 1 million minions for having a gay haircut

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>>8511095
>>8511059
>>8510939
>A bear has entered the arena. ...He doesn't look like he's 100%.
Nnnh. Wah's happenin?

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>>8511081
Sweet. I've got this one.
>Robert pulls off his glove, revealing a crystal embedded in the back of his right hand
Punch shit harder.

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>>8511145
>swearing
That's a 1 million P fine bucko.

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>>8511173
Nice try, hair cuts can't be gay because they can't have sex! 10 million P fine for being an idiot!

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>>8511124
The forest is really scary at night. Thank you for helping me.

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>>8511095
listen, i am not your mother.
i am not your father either, i have no idea who you are.
how did you even get in here.

>>8511171
..stiiitch.
u-uhm. N-nothing?

>>8511185
i don't know.

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>>8511031
Oh. Most likely dead for the first, definitely dead for the latter. Sorry sport. Let's just see how it plays out!

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>>8511142
..Probably?

>>8511188
Am.. am I the only one who didn't get one of those rocks?

>>8511203
>homophobia
15 million P fine

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>>8511142
Big ol' crystalline robo-asshole.
Guy was looking for science buddies, minions, whatever, and I said "fuck it why not."
Hurt like fuck going in. So worth it.
>>8511188
That owns. Go ahead and bust a guard head or two if the heist goes south, OK?

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>>8511258
Yes.

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>>8511185
Nothing!
>>8511228
>Smooch the husbando.
Tell!

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>>8511234

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>>8511259
What?! How is that homophobia?!
>>8511202
I'm 22, I can swear whenever the hell I want!

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>>8511258
Uh... Yep.

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>>8511223
no problems kid, let's go look around for your house
>roll to look around for phamtump's house

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>>8511228
I know what my mommy looks like, it's you!

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>>8511258
Hm...
I didn't get one.
>>8511266
Good fucking god. I wouldn't do that.
Maybe in... I don't know.
Anyway. Paying sun to scope the bank out. Good idea?

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>>8511228
>>8511282
Oh, all right.
>Bear collapses on a couch.

>>8511329
>Bear just chuckles at this.
...So, what's your name, little one?

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>>8511258
... sounds like it.
>>8511266
Right. Not sure what else it can do, not sure how I'll find out.
>>8511345
.... you sure he won't rat us out?

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>>8511351
Mommy always don't talk to stranhers

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>>8511329
>Float on over to the Cubone
>Make slurping sounds at it

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>>8511394
>Bear blinks, then looks up to Bones.
I'm not a stranger, sweetie, I'm a friend of your mom. ...Right?

>>8511228
>Bear shoots a "just run with it it'll work out better" look at Bones.

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>>8511325
I-I don't see anything. Do you?
>stays close to Adri

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>>8511406
>Watch
>Slurping sounds case increased angery

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>>8511282
...fiiiiiiiiine.
>Smooch the plush husband
I.. was thinking I might.. look kinda nice in stuff like that.
maybe.
idontknow.

>>8511329
..Okay, are you from Alola?

>>8511424
...
>Glare

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>>8511476
>Sluuuuuurp
>>8511424
>Attach self to head
>Slurp slurp

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>>8511482
You would!
>>8511394
>>8511424
>Squint.

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>>8511432
i didn't find anything either
sorry i dissapointed you kid
but it's getting late maybe we can go to my friends's house and sleep there
tomorrow morning we can resume searching
at least you won't be alone and my friends are really nice

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>>8511406
>>8511424
MOM! HELP!

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>>8511482
>>8511513
>Bear groans.
What else are we supposed to do with hi-

>>8511501
>Bear blinks, then collapses to the ground, face first.
>Bear rug.

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>>8511345
Sun's gullible, but he'll tell as soon as someone other than Huge-O Butterson in Castelia leans on him. So make it seem like someone other than us is asking, okay?
>>8511384
Long as we don't let it get traced back to us we'll be fine.

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>>8511501
>angery staring

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>>8511323
fuck.

>>8511384
Fuck.

>>8511280
Fuuuuuuuuck.

>>8511345
..well at least i ain't the only one.

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>>8511384
>>8511570
I'll see what I can do.
>>8511631
Rock virgin club I guess?
>Shrug.

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>>8511568
>Target down
>What do bears dream off?
>>8511557
>Oooga booga boooga
>Make an obnoxiously loud and disgusting slurping sound in his direction
>>8511614
>A single toot

>>8511647
Rock Virgin is the name of my new vaporwave album

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>>8511570
Alright then.
>>8511631
Well at least you aren't a potential slave, I guess.
>>8511647
... okay, I'm almost willing to bet you could drop the "Rock" part and it would still apply.

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>>8511513
..r-really?
you think so?
>Cough™
Uh.. maybe we can find some stuff downstairs later, I dunno.

>>8511568
..okay then.

>>8511557
Hey, hey.
Are you from Alola or not?

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>>8511557
>>8511568
...
>>8511794
Cuuuuuuute. Cuuuuuuuute.
>Smooch husbones.
Heck yeah, hun, you'd kill it.

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>>8511527
It's okay, I should keep looking though.
Maybe I'll see you later.

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>>8511787
Hey, I got laid before.
To be fair, though, now I got a kid I never met and I feel kinda shit about the whole thing.
Man. That's fuckin' funny, me feeling guilt about a thing.
New feelings, man.

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>>8511647
Guess so, man.

>>8511787
..Yeah, that's true.

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>>8511687
>Bears dream of many things
>From slightly-bitter memories of being in the Orrean army
>To sweet fantasies involving a pearly white castle in a slightly-chilly, mountainous climate
>To rather spicy, surreal fantasies involving a jar of pickles and a B-52 bomber plane

>All of which are plump, tasty, and ripe for the picking- and completely defenseless. Bewears are Fighting-types after all, and Dream Eater is a powerful Psychic-type move. It's super effective.

>>8511794
>>8511845
>Bear is completely unresponsive.

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>>8511859
no it's bad for a kid to go alone, if that's the case i'll keep going too
it wouldn't be right to leave a child alone looking at night
so i'll keep looking too

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>>8511687
>Repressed squawking
>Fly away before extreme angery puts you at risk of getting ganked by ghosts again

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>>8511706
Give me a cut of the sales.
>>8511787
Shut up. You're older than my grandmother.
>>8511872
Are we starting the club today or after our eventual deaths after robbing the bank?

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>>8511907
It's gotta be here somewhere. I don't remember walking out this far.
I just want to go home, Adri.

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>>8511861
I was talking about the two blues, but man, that's shit as hell.
>>8511872
Hahaha shit, I didn't think I was right.
>>8511931
You've got a young ass grandma. Question dodging like that makes me think I'm right, birdy.

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>>8511845
Honeeey. Please.
>Smooch that plushbando
..actually i'm fairly certain we have one thing at least.
it might be a bit big though..

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>>8511890
>The tooter has made up his mind
>He floats a shitty sombrero to hide himself while on the bears head
>Leave an idea about acquiring a jar of pickles in the bear's mind
>Several, preferably

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>>8511931
Uhh, today I guess? Ain't nobody dyin though man.

>>8511981
Dude, screw you.
I was talking about the slave shit.

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>>8511971
I know, don't be sad let's keep looking i promise we will find your home
Maybe you live near the forest let's go look fo a house in that area
>roll to find phamtump's home

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>>8511981
I mean you're right. Been looking for the right person.
>>8512043
Alright. What do we do as a club then? Talk about how much we love our unladen bodies?

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>>8512025
>I assume this means the bear actually wakes up.
>He... doesn't seem to notice any extra weight on his head, nor the extra shade from the sombrero...
>...He shakily rises, then stumbles over to the kitchen.
>...Rolling for if there are any pickles in the fridge.

>>8511845
>>8511916
>>8512005

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>>8512043
>>8512080
So, when are we doin' this shit? I wanna say tomorrow, gives me time to set up a present for Unova PD. Keep 'em off our ass.
Don't worry, nobody's dying, just a little note to the right people.

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>>8512005
>Push him a bit.
Wanna try it now?
>>8512123
...

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>>8512080
What like... Marriage? Or just like... Anyone that isn't the highschool's premier slut?
>>8512043
Aight, whip or no whip?
>>8512126
Where we going after the heist? Gotta have somewhere to keep all the loot. Like a fucking... Safe house or some shit.

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>>8512139
..y-yeah, kinda.

>>8512123
...?

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>>8512123
>No pickles in the fridge??
>Munna leaves the suggestion to try the pantry for canned pickles

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>>8512163
I know a place to lay low, if you don't mind having zero electric lighting.
I busted into one of my old bosses' executive fuckin' cushy-bunker to steal his booze a while back. We can crash there.
It's off the beaten path, quiet, the emergency food's still probably good.
Only problem is it's underground and in Johto, but it beats coming back here, right?

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>>8512139
>>8512232
>>8512123
>>8512249
>There doesn't seem to be any pickles in the fridge...
>There's a few jars in the cellar though, surely
>Because this is a keep, they'd have a big cellar instead of just a pantry
>Bear starts walking to there.

>...Assuming he is not interrupted by someone before he gets there, this roll is to see if the bear, with his unsteady gait, manages to get down the stairs to the cellar without tripping and falling down them.

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>>8512080
Yeah, I uh, fuckin, sure why not.

>>8512126
Whenever we're ready man.

>>8512163
what.

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>>8512276
Sure does. Electrical lighting is for chumps anyway.
>>8512283
Don't say "screw you" or "fuck you" if you ain't prepared for them to say "sure".

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>Sylvie finds Zorro and curls up next to him and falls asleep

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>>8512126
Whenever is good for me.
>Rifle through bag.
>Show five gas masks.
These will work, right?
>>8512163
The second one.
>>8512283
Heh. Great.

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>>8512232
Well l-
>>8512281
>Loud bear accident noises.
Uhhhhh...

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>>8512309
Oops, did I say electric lighting? I meant sunlight.
My brain got sidetracked by other stuff, sorry.
>>8512328
>>8512283
I'm game now, I can hustle my plans.
( read as: are you going to sleep/work/otherwise out soon y/n? )

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>>8512309
dude you're like
twice my fuckin age
you're an old man.

gross.

>>8512328
Yyyup.

those look sick as hell by the way.

>>8512347
Ehhh, let's wait a bit. Haste makes waste and all that shit.

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>>8512342
..Eh?

>>8512281
...
>Sigh™

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>>8512347
.... well then. Sunlight is for chumps too.
>>8512412
I'm not that old. I'm only 33. What are you, 14?

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>>8512347
Mmm... I think we're all pretty tired right now. Could use a bit more prep time for my team.
>>8512412
Don't they?
>Hand him one.
Make sure it fits.
>>8512452
>Hand Rob one.
Make sure yours fits too, please.

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>>8512281
>Ouch
>Quite a trip
>Toots of shock when their downwards trip happens faster than expected
>Pickle quest can't be forsaken
>Gotta make the bear's dreams come true
>Tell the bear he shouldn't give up

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>>8512452
Ooooold.
Where's ya cane grand dad?
heh, I'm uh, 19.

>>8512475
Totally.
>Put that thing on
>Or at least I think that's how they go on
>How do I gas mask??

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>>8512281
>>8512342
>>8512450
>>8512487
>...Bear groans, and rises back to his feet.
>He has to lean against a wall for support for a little, but eventually he can carry on.
>...And sure enough, there's a shelf full of jars of pickles in storage, of all kinds
>Whole, spears, slices, anything

>...What now...?

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>>8512475
>>8512412
Aight, we'll take it easy, do the job laters.
>>8512452
We'll be fine as long as we don't stay down there so long we go no-sun crazy. It's a thing, one of the bosses got it.
>>8512527
Lemme see if I can figure out the mask.
>Ollie: how to into gasmask?

Anyway, I'm gonna do laundry and pass out.
G'night, guys.

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>>8512540
>Grab as many jars as you can carry
>Stick them in a bag
>And find out where the nearest b-52 is

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>>8512475
Alright.
>check to make sure the gas mask fits
>>8512527
Pfft. 19? Don't you have a diary to be writing in, kid?
>>8512601
Go outside every now and then. Gotcha.

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>>8512604
>Bear looks around for a bag, and grabs an empty potato sack.
>He stuffs it with as many jars of pickles as he can fit inside (last post number), then turns to leave the cellar
>...Which means climbing stairs, while in the condition he's currently in.
>Rolling using the next post's number to see if Bear can reach the top safely (read: without tripping backwards, falling down the stairs, and having literally every pickle jar in his possession shatter in the bag.)

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>>8512527
...
>Tighten the straps on the back of his head.
How's it feel?
>>8512601
Sleep well.
>>8512636
At least you seem to know how to be able to put it on.

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>>8512704
>>8512809
>Galactic Grunt, you may have never met Theodore, the ursine guard of Ceridwyn Keep
>But know that you have failed him

>Teddy tumbles backwards from about midway up the stairs
>Upon reaching the bottom, he is now completely KOed- he was already not in the best shape when Munna showed up and it didn't help matters in the slightest.
>So here he lays, in a puddle of pickle juice, with a sack full of pickles and glass shards.

>...At least he can dream of a shiny, ivory Ceridwyn Castle on a breezy mountainside instead of a desert valley again. That's not just a dream he can actually understand, but a good dream.

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>>8512863
>tree stumbles across bear
...
>Pick up bear
>take to Bed
Tree
>tucks bear in

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>>8512809
>Muffled complaining

>>8512636
>Muffled extremely rude comments about age

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>>8512928
>Bear bear-ly reacts to this. However... there is a smile on his face, so whatever he's dreaming about has to be good.

>...Bed is comfy, but it doesn't aid the mental and physical trauma.

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I had a long talk with my friend.
We ended up deciding to swear off doing the things that got him injured entirely. It's just too dangerous.
He's also going to be in a wheelchair for a while. They don't want to say permanently yet, but are unsure if he'll turn out alright.

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>An unfamiliar Leafeon is traveling through some unspecified town. It seems to be wearing a necklace of sorts with a distinct purple orb attached to it.
>Some inattentive people left on the sprinklers, although that was good luck for this Leafeon.
>It jumped through the water a few times to wet its relatively unkempt fur.
>Stepping away for the water, the Leafeon took in the atmosphere of the area for a moment before shaking its fur to leave it damp, as opposed to drenched.
>It went about its way, traveling along the sides of houses, through backyards, and other such methods until it reached an alleyway that was familiar to it.
>Traveling down the alley, the Leafeon gave a small sigh as it stepped into a box just big enough for it.
>The sunlight wouldn't hit this spot very often, but it allowed them to stay out of sight from most as it started to curl up in the box.
>A few berries that it snagged from an open berry stand lie in the box next to it. The Leafeon ate two oran berries and a cheri berry before closing its eyes; resting for whatever might happen later. The purple orb that was attached to the necklace was neatly tucked under the Leafeon's chin as it soundly slept.

if you wanted an optimal environment for stats you'd have a sport where a single person did the exact same thing over and over again like javelin toss or some shit. the beauty of baseball is that play is very structured and procedural but still very organic with it's irregularities. you can measure elements of it effectively but always end up being awed and confused by the living game

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>Stretching out with a yawn Sylvie wakes up from her slumber, she gives Zorro a peck on the nose before heading into the kitchen for the daily ritual of preparing breakfast for the household

Nino

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>>8512044
Sorry to waste your time. I think I remember where it is now.

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>>8509001
Mega blaziken because it should be nerfed.

>>8514206
He is totally going to be fine!

>>8514646
Is that vaporeon enjoying that?

>>8514332
>sleep tight leafdog

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>>8514206
you were
uhn! yeah!
dance it off!
TOO FUCKING THICC
YOU FAT CUNT BUG HORSE BITCH
YOU CRUSHED HIS DICK
CUZ YOUR TO THICC
HAVE SOME VEGETABLE
BEFORE YOU CRUSH HIS SKULL

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>>8516209
Oh you do?
That's good your mom must be worried, i'll take you there

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>>8515935
>smells beckfest

>walk into the kitchen.
Hey that smells really good.

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>>8516358
xD

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>>8516274
I honestly hope so.
I feel bad about this whole thing.

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>>8514206
The solution is for you to lay on your back and let him mount you that way, stop trying to top him.
>>8516379
Oh good morning hun.
>kissu dat phox
Just making some bacon and eggs, I would make pancakes but this house doesn't have the pan for it. How did you sleep last night?

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>>8516432
He really wanted to do it though... He should have been fore careful. you DO weight like 220kg

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>>8516450
I slept pretty good after that good battle. How about you?
>kissu pinkdog
>excite for beckfest

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>>8516460
Yeah you gotta watch out for that
I tried that with my trainer and almost killed him

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>>8516450
He insisted on me topping.
What's the name for it?
Domination?
He's into that or something.
Being honest. I enjoyed it, before he passed out.

>>8516460
>>8516477
I weigh a lot, I know.
He doesn't seem bitter or sad. He's either trying to laugh this off, or hiding his true feelings to make me feel better. And he's done that before.

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>>8516471
I always sleep good when I'm next to you~
>plate up some already cooked eggs and bacon for Zorro
Here you go!

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>>8516477
Luckily I don't share your guy's dangerous fetish so I can't really relate.

>>8516511
It was his own fault i think. You just want to please him.

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>>8516558
Aww yeah!
>digs on hastily

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Good morning!

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>>8516760
It was supposed to be fun for both of us.
And he said he would be fine.
I tried being gentle and used pillows, and I still hurt him.
I guess I was still too much.
I really should have just said no.

>>8516834
Good morning.

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>>8516842
Hello roly poly! How are you?

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>>8516834
Good morning An
>>8516760
Hey Fynx, did you ever decide what you're going to do about your imminent daycare situation?

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>>8516865
Hi fairy boots! I'm going on an adventure today!

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>>8516863
A little sad, but otherwise okay.
It's raining right now.
I find it calming.

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>>8516834
You too.

>>8516842
Yeah tell him you don't want to hurt him. It's not worth getting injured over i promise.

>>8516865
He hasn't talked about it in a bit... I don't know if that's good or bad.

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>>8516882
An adventure you say? What kind of an adventure?
>>8516917
Well I hope you manage to avoid it, I've only heard stories but I don't think it will be a fun place for a young one like you not to mention the inevitable...
>she shudders at the word
boxing after your trainer gets what he wants out of you.

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>>8516865
>with mouth full of food:
How are sush a good cook?

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>>8516946
Lots of reading about it and practice I guess

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>>8516941
I'm gonna go visit my mom!
So I get to pass around lake Valor! And then go to the beach!

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>>8516968
>finishes the last of the beckfest
Is there anything you can not do sylvie?

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>>8517031
Sounds like a fun time
>>8517066
>she puts a ribbon to her chin
Hmm, there's plenty I can't do

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>>8516941
I've never been in the box before.... He usually just releases or gives pokemon away that he doesn't use... Both of those things would not be great. I just don't understand why though.

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Look at me I'm a creepy little nigger

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>>8517131
Well I hope you're never subjected to it, it's an awful experience.

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roll to smash skitts dick with an hammer

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>>8517111
pffff I do not believe you! Name one thing.

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RULES OF POO POO

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Did somebody say PEEPEEPOOPOO?
Because I think I heard somebody say PEEPEEPOOPOO.

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>>8517217
Well for one thing
>she whispers in Zorro's ear
What you want shiny to do to you

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>>8516917
Well, I had another talk.
Told him that it was too dangerous to keep doing those things.
But I think I came off as angry at him.
I hope things turn out alright.

>>8517131
Just me and my mommy, hanging out I got pretty hungry so I started to pout She asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy and I asked what and she said she'd give me her milkies! Yeah! Yeah! I drink them! I slurp them! I swallow them whole It makes mommy happy that her breasts are sore... More mommy! More!! 1 milkies, 2 milkies, 3 milkies, 4 I'm mommy's little baby and she's my candy store! She is so squishy!She makes me feel good! She fills me up like a mommy should!~ Wa-What!

⤴↘↔⬇↖↙↖⬅↗↕⬆⬅↖↙⤴⬇⤴↘↔↙↔⬅↖⏩↘↔↘↖↙⬆⬅↕⬇↔⤵⤵⤴↘↔↙↗⬅↕⬇↖↘↔⤵
CUMMIES
MILKIES
CUMMIES
MILKIES

>>8517309
BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

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>>8517193
Do you think he hates me enough to do that?

>>8517309
If he loves you he will understand.