ITT: Pokemon are real. How have YOUR encounters with legendaries

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>>7103644
first.

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>>7103644
I got burned both times.

It fucking hurts.

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these rebelious legendary are such a hassle
now i must go save the remains of kalos and eat some of those marshmallow yveltal kept talking about
i won't be able to talk much since i'll be busy bringing kalos to it's former glory
so goodbye to you all

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>>7103644
Purr-etty well

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>>7103644
Victini is a real jerk.

this looks a lot like autism

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>Battling Tapu Lele

I shit you not she fucking winked at me right before I caught her.
What the fuck do I do? I'm worried about having her on my team but I might feel bad if I put her in the PC.

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>>7103644
Lost an eye to that bastard.
Guess I'm a real pirate now.

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>>7103644
Except for Victini all the ones I've met have been pretty cool.

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>>7103728
Hey, you're awake again!

Also

>Mfw fought two legendaries and lived to tell the tale

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>>7103921
Don't get cocky you freaking kamikazi.

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>>7103728
Hey Jirachi! My Giratina wish came true. I know you ain't able to grant shit like that, but thanks 'nyway.

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>>7103816
Seconding that.
>>7103739
Bro, you treat her right, damn it. None of that PC storage shit.

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>>7103921
Helloooooooo!
Are you gonna come after me next? Heehee.
>>7103942
Oh! I'm so glad!

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>>7103959
No, the first time was Red's Mega Mewtwo, he attacked first.

Second time was Victini, cunt set fire to Driftveil, so I provoked him into attacking us instead so we could take him out.

...I may have a death wish -not that kind!

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>>7103644
hmmmm id have to say my experience has been. not good....

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>>7103959
Nah, you and Dialga are, like, way better than us common folk deserve. Seriously, you're the best, bro.

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>>7103990
capitain what you have is no fear of death, just don't over do it okay

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>>7103990
Heehee. I understand!
Are you feeling okay?
>>7104002
Oh I'm not that great. I'd love to get to know all of you better!

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>>7103997
Hey man, what happened?
>>7104002
Yveltal and Zygarde are both really chill too. Giratina seemed alright when I spoke to him a while ago but apparently he threatened Smeargle so I'm not sure how to feel about him.

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>>7103997
Good, you should fucking die you slithering piece of sh-

Wow. Okay, Zangoose instincts strong, gotta watch for that.

>>7104077
Giratina's weird. He seems like he's really empty inside and bored.

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>>7104036
Hey Jirachi, do you know what happens when pokemons die and don't go ghost?
Its not distortion world right?
>>7104077
Well I did start it.

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>>7104077
Darlin' threatens ev-fur-yone though
It's sorta like how Palkia teases ev-fur-tone

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>>7104077
Palkia happened. The asshole teleported me into a trashcan.

>>7104090
you better watch yourself m8. ill fucking wreck you cunt.

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>>7104036
Bro, I'm just a former beach-bum surfer who likes pancakes too much. Getting caught in the big Wishening thing and falling in with a bunch of, like, piratey Pokemon is the most excitement I've ever had. I think I'm getting cast as the chef and, like, self-appointed voice of not shooting first.

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>>7104109
i don't think even he knows that

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>>7104120
Mate I own the S.S.Anne and literally took out Victini with my crew today. You'd be the one gittin rekt.

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>>7104109
As far as I know they go to the a different part of the Distortion world that is separate from the one humans can go to.
>>7104132
Pirates? That sounds fun! Is there a sign up sheet?

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>>7104152
You, stop it!
Stop getting angry at everything.
At this rate you'l go start hitting streetsigns with team Skull or something.

>>7103644
I sighted Uxie flying around Acuity a long time ago
Soon after some kid went in the cave at the center
He walked by my home, asked so I invited him in
He caught it and showed it to me
I have not seen Uxie since then

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>>7104091
I'd be bored too if I was stuck in my own dimension with nothing but a human to play with.
>>7104109
I guess, still not cool though.
>>7104113
Apparently not, he didn't threaten me. Hell he even invited me to go have a barbecue with him.
>>7104120
I think he was just messing with you dude.

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>>7104152
ur a cheeky cunt m8 ill give you that but i swear... ahh who am i kidding i dont have any hands....

>>7104226
yeah but y though? :(

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>>7104192
Hey hey, I only get mad at people/pokemon that fuck shit up and servipers
and snake Pokemon in general
and gyarados.

But that's it, I swear!

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>>7104158
I'm so fucked.
Well, either go ghost or take my "fair" punishment like a grown Smeargle.
Feel like going ghost would be hiding though...
I'm not going ghost, I'l see how fair he'l be.
>>7104226
Don't worry about me, I'l take it like a mon.

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>>7104258
Don't worry. I hear Giratina is actually very nice.

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>>7104346
yeah I love giratina!

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They go well.

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>>7104346
I did shittalk him and told his brother Dialga is every bit better then he was.
And I kept insulting his torture techniques.

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>>7104376
Why don't you two hang out then?
>>7104442
Well that may be a problem. Heehee.

>>7103644
They need to fuck off back to their home realms and stop messing with us mere mortals.

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>>7104482
Tell it to me straight buddy.
How bad do I wanna cling to life?
Also that Gengar also wanted to hangout with Victini... you saw how that turned out.

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>>7104247
Just seems to be his thing man, I wouldn't take him too seriously.
At the very least he's not malicious.
>>7104258
Torture's kind of a sore subject for me, which is why I'm so bothered by him threatening you with it.
Although since you insist I'll just leave it. Probably better to not potentially cause more trouble that way anyway.

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>>7104346
Bro, we're on a boat not far from Alola if you want to say hey. We've got eyepatches and a swashbuckling captain and everything, but, like, some of the eyepatches aren't just for show. Just a heads up, if that grosses you out and stuff.
>>7104346
Yeah, he's probably pretty chill. Victini and Mewtwo are, like, the only Legendaries I know of offhand that have no chill.

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>>7104509
Let's say you want to cling as much as possible. I will have a talk with him for you though.
Please don't insult those that will look over you.
>>7104516
Oooh. I'll be sure to! Thank you friend!

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>>7104539
I'l offer my excuses if I run into him again.
And quit heavy drinking.

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>>7104515
yeah i guess your right.... the trash can was full of rotten oran berries tho.....

>>7104516
You know that the IP is waiting for you all there, right?

>>7104539
And here's this guy again.
My wish is for you and the other legendaries to fuck off back to whenever you came from for at least a day, we can take care of ourselves.
Or at least hide it.

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>>7105038
Hahaha okay! Please be more careful.
>>7105059
I'll leave you alone then! Addio dragontits.

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>>7104002
I THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT
>>7104091
I WOULDN'T SAY WEIRD AS MUCH AS I WOULD BITTER
>>7104346
HE IS NOT AS CRUEL AS MANY SAY, BUT BY MOST STANDARDS HE IS NOT EXACTLY NICE EITHER
>>7104442
YES THAT WOULD BE A VERY QUICK WAY TO 'PISS HIM OFF'
>>7104509
I COULD PERHAPS ATTEMPT TO CONVINCE HIM TO SPARE YOU, BUT SEEING AS YOU COMPARED HIM TO ME HE MAY NOT APPRECIATE MY ATTEMPTS
>>7104247
IT IS SIMPLY HIS THING. HE ENJOY MESSING WITH MORTALS. DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY

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>>7105059
Thanks for the tip, bro :^) . I already got a plan, now you've brought that u-
Hey, watch it, man. Not cool.

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>>7105131
HEY

YOU


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK

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>>7105131
I'l see how far my sincere apologies will go.
I made this mess, I'm gonna fix it as much as I can.
I thank you for your offer, but I think Its best if I did this by myself, not gonna hide behind anyone.
I'm not gonna grovel though.
How much is an apology worth if you don't even respect your own dignity.

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>>7103644
5 Birdbrains, 2 Cats, and 3 dogs are basically the only legendaries that you can find here.

Needless to say, haven't seen any face to face.

Upside of having a ditto tho is being able to have any Pokemon you want.

They are surprisingly smart as time goes on though.

Imagine having an Octillery that can not only slip through any crack but also change into anything they want.

>>7104248
>Having a feud with every Serviper you meet.

Hows those poor choices holding up there m8.

>>7105131
>HE ENJOY MESSING WITH MORTALS. DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY
And you're an hypocritical fuck.

>>7104248
I give you about a month until you go fully feral, maybe even less.
Pokemon brain structures were not meant to hold an human mind, looks like.

>>7105300
Nah the only thing that's really changed is my apparent need for fighting and adventure, and the whole "hatred of servipers" thing.

Also, are you the same dumbass who still thinks pokemon aren't sapient even though it's been proven time and again that we are?

Is this the new RP autism?

>>7105343
(Yes, yes it is, we just had a DBZ fight, welcome!)

>>7105343
Yeah its purre autism i love it

>>7105343
All these kids pretending to be Pokemon when we all know that its near impossible to turn into one.

>>7105343
Some thread autists, some Discord+thread autists, and shitposters who I won't even dignify with a (You).

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>>7105193
IT SEEMS YOU GOT LUCKY
IT IS UNFORTUNATE THAT THIS SAME LUCK DOES NOT APPLY TO OTHER ASPECTS OF YOUR UNLIFE
>>7105221
GIRATINA WOULD LIKELY FIND GROVELING MORE OF AN AMUSEMENT THAN AN ACTUAL APOLOGY

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Did someone say groveling?

>>7105333
And over time you will be reduced to merely the basic survival instincts, and the hate of snakes.
You might want to revert that wish.

Also, yes. You proved nothing.

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>>7105041
i dont remember this
sounds funny as fuck though lol

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>>7105482
w-why do you hate m-me?

>>7105513
OMG IM A HUGE FAN

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>>7105482
Well I don't want to be amusing, I wanna tell him I feel sorry for telling those things to him, I don't even know him....
>>7105513
...I'm sorry for all those awful things I said, I was being a drunk cunt and deserve the fear that got put into me.
I just want to offer my sincere apologies, do with it as you will, I'm not gonna run or prolong my chances by purposely going ghost.

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( Discordfag status: not insignificant chance of "The IP's gonna kill us holy fuck" )
>>7105253
Bro, that's pretty cool-sounding. Treat 'em right, okay?
>>7105482
Daaaang, Uncle Dialga's bringing the roasts. Uh, about a different definition of roast, can I ask how likely my buddies are to die a bloody, screaming death trying to get off this boat at Alola?

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>>7105520
I shouldn't fucking have to prove anything, if you look at any fucking scientific research in the past five decades you will see endless evidence that pokemon are sapient, there is even a known example of us being capable of human speech!

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>>7105521
):<

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>>7105568
Greetings ghost. What are your regrets?
>>7105584
Oh you're absurdly sweet. Is there anymore groveling you wish to get out or is this all?
Your groveling has been noted and I'll be sure to leave you be.

>>7105597
The only evidence you're posting right now is that you're unable to cope with your actions, nor with your impending loss of your mind.

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>>7105661
Take and go pls :^)

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>>7105619
I.. I'm not groveling.
I'm aplologizing.
I'l take my faith standing on my legs.
Not begging on my knees.
I do mean my apology, I'm sorry.
I was being stupid and stupidly drunk.

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>>7105619
i'd say my biggest one is trusting humans.

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>>7105584
AH. WELL A DIGNIFIED APOLOGY IS A BETTER ROUTE TO GO.
ANY INTERFERENCE OF MINE WILL LIKELY MAKE HIM MORE LIKELY TO KILL YOU, SO I WILL STAY OUT OF THIS.
>>7105590
IF YOU WERE TO DIE I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CONFIRM AS SUCH SINCE I AM NOT ABLE TO REVEAL BOTH THE TIME AND NATURE OF A DEATH AT ONCE.
TAKE THAT FOR WHAT YOU WILL.
>>7105568
I DO NOT HATE ANYONE. YOU SIMPLY PROVE AMUSING TO 'POKE FUN AT'

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I watched and mirrored this video of a Pokemon battle on a ship, and I can't deal.
This has to be fake.
I swear, it looks real, the footage looks like an uncut stream, but it can't be real.
Someone tell me this is fake.
I had to put this mask on just to watch some of the hits without flinching reflexively.
I
Just
WHAT THE FUCK

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>>7105692
I accept your apology. Your afterlife will be fine. Perhaps if you entertain me in this life I'll see to it that you can skip a death.
>>7105704
That is a very large regret. I see why you are a ghost.

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>>7105775
100% real, got the burn marks to prove it.

Victini is a cunt.

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>>7105792
Hun there is like ....
A 50% we all die horribly when we get to Alola
How cozy is the Distortion World?

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I have a question.
Why do people keep posting a picture of me with the word fug underneath it.
It's really weird.
Now if you'll excuse me, Kyogre's getting moody again and he keeps hitting his brother.

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>>7105724
I-i have a question uncle dialga; Does it ever get boring since you know whats going to happen already because you can see all of time?!

>>7105792
am I supposed to be feeling this much hatred?
I usually joke in order to have an outlet for this anger.

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>>7105806
>video real
>its THAT SHIP
>shit going down on the coastline
>I know exactly what type of accident will make my life hell and can't do anything about it

I am way too fucking sober for this. See you in twenty minutes and a fifth.

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>>7105852
You mean this?

Kinda wanna know who snapped the picture honestly, but it's pretty funny

>>7105775
All fake, that shit was too outlandish and silly for any of it to be real, staring with a ship commandeered by pokemons not known for their intelligence.

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>>7105852
are you a fug type?

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>>7105836
Mmm and there's a 50% chance you'll all become ghosts.But the Distortion World welcomes you if you wish.
I'm betting the Zangoose becomes a ghost, he seems like the strongest willed one.
>>7105869
You should be. If you wish to pass on you'll need to get over your regrets. Hatred is a much warmer feeling than cold grey emptiness.

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>>7105792
I'l be sure to paint you a painting.
Dunno how well i'l paint now without depth perception.
Lost an eye in that last fight.
Hope you like pirates, if not tough luck, I'm gonna be a pirate now, already got the eyepatch.

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>>7105877
Dude Victini already blew up that warehouse, we fought him because I had a rather strong urge to pay him back for that.

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>>7105852
so ray, what happen with that zinnia chick after you fugged her up

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>>7105880
That's the one.
I half expect it was that little alien Brendan let live on Earth.

>>7105905
I don't think so.
I do look good in that picture though.

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>>7105942
lol bro heard you were getting married
whos the lucky bitch

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>lose connection for nearly an hour because of a fuckhuge sandstorm
Literally the only downside to living in a desert.
Also the ship I'm going to hide on leaves port soon, it'll be interesting to see what region I end up in.
If anyone living in a port town knows of a cargo shipment coming your way from Orre, let me know and maybe we can hang out when I get there.

So, is this thread pokemon and people-pretending-to-be-pokemon only? I only see one one other fellow human?

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>>7105964
got pics too

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>>7105907
so how do you determine who becomes a ghost after they die? I dont get it....

also im way to scared to move on!

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>>7105942
fug :DD

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>>7105910
Well if you do die. I may restore you to your complete self.
Don't go hanging yourself though, I'm only leaving it to how I feel at that particular moment.
>>7106004
I do not determine. The power of someone's regrets or willpower determines. Your soul is chained with many regrets. I do not think you will ever truly move on.

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>>7105936
I let her be.
I doubt she'll be trying any more shit, that's for sure.
>>7105964
Who told you?
>>7106000
Delete this.
>>7106016
I didn't know how much the humans liked me.

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>>7105993
no your not brother!

Im more upset there are no ladies here! or rock types....

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>>7106000
Trips of truth and adorableness.
>>7106060
Yeah, yeah I get it, big badass who could flay me alive any second.
Your an alright dude.
I can see why Skitty likes you so much.

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>>7105590
I try, he keeps getting into my food in the middle of the night.

I have to alarm the fridge up, otherwise he overeats and keeps whining the whole day because his belly hurts.

>Just put him in the Pokeball overnight!

He will hide the instant I got for the ball, last time I tried he pretended to be my bathroom wall until morning.

I've finally got to getting a spray bottle for when he tries and get the food in the fridge, training is slow.

He's also really clingy, I would be mad but he seems to help with healing stuff that he touches for a bit.

Cut my leg some time ago on a quick walk and he curled around it and it was healed by next morning.

>>7105993
>Fellow Human

Bit too forced man, but yeah I'm here.

>>7106068
Brock we all know you like cock.

Stop trying so hard.

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>>7105869
NO, FOR WHILE I KNOW ALL POSSIBLE EVENTS I AM OFTEN SURPRISED BY WHICH ONES BECOME THE ACTUALITY
FOR EXAMPLE, IT WAS INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY FOR YOU TO BECOME A GENGAR

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>>7106093
Your spirit is oddly pure. You will be fun to observe. That feeling you feel sometimes on the back of your neck?

That is me.

I am always with all of you.

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>>7106065
come one
whos gonna be the new sib in law
tell your favorite brother
>>7106060
fuk u
i got a whole bunch of bitches just to spite you
i have pics of two of them to prove it
>>7106158
fuk u again
being omnipresent is my thing douche

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>>7106167
Please show me these bitches. What kennel did you abduct them from this time, brother?
Being omnipresent is all of our things, "douche."

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>>7106060
>I do not think you will ever truly move on.
>many regrets

aww... I dont know if thats good or bad....

>>7106118
that's actually pretty cool!
so how many timelines are there? It cant really be infinite can it?

>>7106108
Maybe too forced, but you try talking about anything while surrounded by little kids roleplaying what they last saw on Dragonite Ball Z.

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>>7106068
Hey, my buddy's back! I could use some moral support rightnow, I'm drunl and fraeking out.
My work just exploded, it might explode again, and I cant even go cruising for girls 'cause IP's swarming like Venonats and chasing Aether Foundation aroun while trying to dig in like they think an armadas coming. They're not being very good at either thing, except making life shit.

And I ran out of malasadas for drunkmunchin

fuuuuuuck my life

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>>7106188
how the fuck did you know

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>>7106158
That's... oddly comforting.
...
Thanks.
It will be a nice painting I'l make.

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>>7106245
Dont sweat it man! chicks LOVE confidence.
ask her if she knows tail whip... because she left you defenseless... Chicks LOVE that one!

>>7106108
whoa dude i always try to be ROCK HARD.

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>>7106167
It's a Lunala.
Apparently there's a shortage of Solgaleo's where she comes from, then the two of us got to talking and we hit it off.

I've seem to have a knack for aliens, first that weird thing that Brendan is chummy with and now her.

>>7106245
Are you currently drunk? You're talking to that raichu plushie as if it were your missing brother.

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>>7106190
It is your choice.
>>7106262
I know all.
>>7106273
Do be more careful in your future, friend.

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>>7106307
Babe how 2 keep Palkia from stalkin' us an' proddin' our intestines at bad times?

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>>7106307
I feel like its not. arceus truly has forsaken me.

funny really.

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>>7106283
half the clubs and all the clubs I like are closed right now because fuckin cops think wars going down or some shit, PLUS theyre trying to fuck up Aether.
Hang on im getting a call from a foxy lady brb
trying not to sound drunk now

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>>7106365
Just deal a "sick burn" to him.
>>7106386
Oh well. If I was pulling your proverbial strings I would lead you into the afterlife. Alas I am not.
>>7106394
Can you receive phone calls from different dimensions? This Cyrus human has a phone.

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>>7106386
...... HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BELPHEGOR'S PRIME?
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT IN YOUR TIMELINE

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>>7106420
I dunno, I'll try when I'm off the phone with this chick. I think I got a shot, she doesn't even realize Im drunk rightnow.

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>>7106420
some of us just arn't lucky enough eh?

>>7106433
i feel like it's a very.... VERY large number.

whats so important about it?

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>>7106456
I hope you get that "flaming pussy" as the children say.
>>7106481
Perhaps eternal life is lucky?

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>>7106481
......
WELL.
I WAS IMPLYING THAT THIS WAS THE AMOUNT OF TIME IT WOULD TAKE FOR YOU TO PASS ON TO THE AFTERLIFE.

>>7106511
Years, decades millennia? Still, pretty big, if there's a heat death he's def. gonna survive that if it's anything more than months.

>>7106557
There's no afterlife, you got pranked bro.

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>>7106498
m-maybe you're right!

>>7106511
wow.... that is a long time. i hope i dont get bored.

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>>7106498
WHY
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PHRASE IT LIKE THAT
IT WAS A COWORKER I WAS TOO DRUNK TO RECOGNIZE
THE ONE WITH THE TORRACATS

fuck it call me up giratina, region code 8-08, 01030320. i dont even care if the call kills me anymore

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>>7106579
You'll live to see many interesting events. I will watch you.
>>7106589
I will call in just a moment. This is going to be so fun, I am excited.

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>>7106579
Don't worry there's a lot of us long living Pokemon out there.
Though I'm only ageless, I can still die from injuries.

I wonder, if I died too early, would Arceus replace me, or would he let Kyogre and Groudon go unchecked?

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>>7106629
I haven't really done anything terrible in my life only ya'know the odd prank or 2. how do you decide who you're going to torture?

>>7106639
I don't believe arceus would step in. would you go to the distortion world if you died?

>>7106589
Just own up top the fact that you let the family pet assfuck you, it's not like homosexuality and pokephilia are illegal there.

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>>7106557
..... HOW LONG IS A 'MEGAANUM'?
>>7106579
YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME TO 'CHILL' WITH THE LEGENDARIES. SEVERAL OF YOUR FRIENDS LAST ROUGHLY AS LONG AS YOU, SO YOU WILL NOT BE LONELY LONG.
>>7106639
THE TIMELINES IN WHICH YOU DIE BECOME NULL SHORTLY THERE AFTER DUE TO UNIVERSAL COLLAPSE. IT IS SAFE TO SAY HE DOES NOT REPLACE YOU.

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>>7106698
I pick off how I feel, personally. You are a fun one to watch.
>>7106717
Hello human! This is very fun, how are you?

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>>7106712
Well, that answers that question.
Blunt but helpful as always Dialga.

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>>7106204
At least they aren't rping as those new Undertail characters.

>Guys Kangaskhan is best mom.

Just fuck off.

Also, they keep on forgetting the SS Anne is pretty much decommissioned as of late, it used to go to Aloha but not nowadays.

It makes like one trip every year at best.

>>7106283
Yeah liking that kid that much wasn't being a pedo, he just never ages.

Its totally legit guys!

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>>7106758
I'm drunk as hell and hoping the IP doesn't blow up the whole city hunting Aether or some drifter boat that they're panicked about.

Also, I can get that 'flaming pussy' but that's LITERAL flaming pussy. Torracat Coworker said her Pokemon will probably interrupt us if we go at it, and she won't come to my place 'cause of the craziness on the ground here.

Oh, Cyrus, if you're hearing this? Even Rocket's more reslient than your scrub team!

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>>7106712
>>7106758
Yeah you guys are pretty awesome! what do you guys do for fun anyway?

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>>7106758
A certain ghost told me to of-fur you poison ivy an' a clown squirt flower in a bouquet
Just curious, but how much would that offend you?

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Hey, Buddy here.
Something came up and I really need y'all's advice right now.

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>>7106811
Hey, buddy, I bought you something special :^)

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>>7106819
Ah, that seems like a very interesting position. I do hope you have some fun! This is fun.
>You can only hear a cracked scream from the other side.
Oh Cyrus says hello.
>>7106838
I bother those that reside in this world for fun.
>>7106842
That actually sounds a bit funny. I do think I would laugh.
>>7106882
What is wrong?

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>>7106882
I'm drunkpostin, Buddy, but Im always willin to help a pal! Whats going on? Faith and Joy alright?

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>>7106884
Oh thank (you).

Here's one in exchange.

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>>7106838
I HAVE MENTIONED THIS BEFORE, BUT I RECORD THE LIVES OF THE AVERAGE HUMAN.
THIS ONE >>7106819 IN PARTICULAR HAS PROVEN QUITE AMUSING
>>7106882
WHAT IS IT YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW?

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>>7106905
hehehe i think we would get a long quite well.

>>7106932
why would you find THAT interesting? i dont understand.

>>7106811
These guys are the fucking worst
>haha le so fany lazy marowak
Jesus H. Christ

As decommissioned the S.S. Anne is, it's still kind of an icon of navigation, hopefully they get the pirates that stole it as soon as it touches port.

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>>7106905
If I go with her, and she is Smoking. Hot. So I wanna. But she said her pokemon will get involved and i already know shes a raging pokephile, so I go with her I go with her crew.

I think I need another shot. Also, heheheh CYRUS, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, KALOS GOT BLOWN UP WITHOUT YOU.
Wait, was his team Kalos or Sinnoh, I forget they were so scrubby,

>>7106918
thank you i was needing the one in my house was almost over.
thanks for giving me free stuff

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>>7106905
.... huh.
I guess you get two bouquets then.

Also, we found this fluffy.... thing... in a bag in cargo hold after the Victini fight.
Do you recognize it?
It hates bags and keeps sayin' 'pew'
Plz help, we don't know how 2 dad.

>>7106977
Assuming they're stupid enough to dock in port. They might be, who knows.

>>7107030
Go home, you're drunk and attempting to communicate with people lost across dimensions over TCP/P.
Also it was Sinnoh.

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>>7106932
What exactly is the average human?
Is it a bad person?

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>>7106964
Perhaps in a few eons we will "hang" together.
>>7107030
I say you do it. If you die you can at least "chill bro" with me.
It was Sinnoh. he's rather fun to play with. Oh you made him cry.
>>7107063
I will wait for you.

Hm? Sounds like a Cosmog. I think Diaga would know more of that than I would.

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>>7107030
His was Sinnoh, dude have another shot for me, I can't get drunk, physically impossible now. Shit kinda sucks because alcohol would numb me a bit to this fucking burn.

>been sitting in a cold bath throwing burn heals on myself for the past few hours just to get it to stop stinging

Fire types are THE WORST.

We're making landfall tomorrow, weather cooperating.

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>>7106884
Wait, what?

>>7106905
>>7106912
>>7106932

OK, here's the deal. Girafarig -Faith (primary head) & Joy (secondary head)- Well, we got very close last night, snuggling up, petting and exploring each other. It was amazing because Faith did some sort of mental link. I could feel what she felt as I petted her, and she could feel what what I felt as they nuzzled me and such. It was pretty amazing.

I felt Faith's feelings, some of her hopes and worries and her love. Then Joy popped in. He feelings were not as refined, they were kinda feral but pure in a way. And that's when things got awkward.

Faith views me as a friend, lover, mate-husband.

Joy views me as a father.

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>>7107063
...does it look like this?

>>7107074
With the pirate leader assuming such not nautical names like "captain zangoose", there's a high chance they're nothing more than a bunch of amateurs that got incredibly lucky.

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>>7107093
what's your favorite food?

I am on s'mores right now.

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>>7107124
..... I DO NOT HAVE SUCH EXPERIENCE WITH SUCH A THING, BUT ONE OF MY MONKS SUGGESTS THAT YOU ONLY PURSUE ROMANTIC INTEREST WITH THE FRONT AND REFRAIN FROM TOUCHING ANYTHING CONTROLLED BY THE REAR.
>>7107081
NO, IT IS JUST THE COMMON PERSON. THE KIND NOT REMEMBERED BY HISTORY, BUT RESPONSIBLE FOR MUCH OF IT.
A FATHER WITH HIS CHILDREN WHO GOES TO OFFICE EVERYDAY WOULD BE AN EXAMPLE.
>>7106964
IT GIVES ME GREAT INSIGHT TO HOW EVENTS CAME TO BE AND TO THE FUNCTIONS OF A PARTICULAR SOCIETY.

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>>7107093
im doing it
i got the burn cream and the JY
IM GETTING SOME FLAMING. FUCKING.
PUSSY.
>>7107124
thats a level beyond friendzoned breh i dont even

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>>7107093
Aight, thanks. I'll go ask 'im about it.
Don't want to like.... Accidentally kill your lil' bro or somethin'.
>>7107124
I feel so bad fur you dude.
>>7107134
Yeah, that's the fluffy lil' guy.
>>7107216
How the fuck 2 care for Cosmog?

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>>7107227
Every mile we get closer.
Your a mile closer to becoming a dad.

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>>7107173
I never named myself Captain Zangoose, but yeah, we're lucky, the internet had some manuals for engine maintenance and Cali is great with machines and steering this thing. Helps that Croagunk wished to Jirachi for keeping this thing infinitely stocked with supplies -too bad they vanish when they leave the boat- and until Victini we hadn't run into serious trouble or horrible weather.

Doesn't mean we can't kick ass if we have to.

>>7107134
Yes, yes that's actually what it looks like. It's obviously a baby, send help.

>Me
>Taking care of a child
It doesn't work, I've left the Eevee that hatched a few days before the Wish in the care of Lune, they're doing great by the way, I keep catching them taking naps in my bed. Cute as fuck.

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>>7106977
>Torches Port

I hope to Arceus that you meant touches port.

Didn't know that the thing was stolen lately.

Its a beautiful old boat, but terribly outdated as it goes.

One of the engineers I know worked on it as maintenance crew said the damn thing would have a problem come up around every hour, due to the old machinery.

Half the boat is duct tape, welds, and replacement parts nowadays.

>>7107173
Yup, probably that.

Even luckier that the whole ship hasn't cracked apart yet, either that or somehow that idiot has the know-how on the maintenance of the boat itself.

>>7107124
Tell joy to go away when you two fuck you filthy pokefile, mommy and daddy are doing adult things.

>>7107035
No probs frendo.

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>>7107273
>How the fuck 2 care for Cosmog?
My girlfriend used to be one of those, as long as they don't get into trouble and get fed regularly they'll be fine.
But I half expect you'll be a Delcatty long before it evolves into Cosmoem.
It's a very very long commitment.

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>>7107273
I AM ...
NOT CERTAIN IF WE HAVE FAMILIAL RELATIONS TO THE COSMOG LINE

MAKE SURE THEIR IS PLENTY OF DUST WHEREVER YOU KEEP IT
IT WILL ABSORB THE DUST AND EVENTUALLY BECOME EITHER A SOLGALEO OR LUNALA
I WOULD NOT WORRY, FOR IT SEEMS YOU DO FINE

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>>7107216
well when you put it like THAT.... now IM interested...

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>>7107216
>>7107227
>>7107273

Oh, it gets more awkward. Faith told me she made come kind of wish, granted by some important pokemon so she could be...able to have offspring with me. That's quite a revelation. I mean, if Joy were on the same level or feeling as Faith, then there wouldn't be a problem. But that's not the case, especially since I can clearly understand their thoughts now.

>>7107342
Faith and Joy are literally inseparable.

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>>7107279
uh theres ip everywhere im 7 proxies plus TheOddishRouter'd up now that they give a fuck. might wanna not go right for port unless you got a doomsday boom
. . .
actually just dont go right for port

the fucks this about being a dad tho
>>7107173
if theyre incredibly lucky then like watch them show up right when Aether's in maximum over rustle and trying to fuck IPs day

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>>7103728

Wishing that Palkia would give me back the breasts that I wished to you to keep NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO ME!

(OOC: changing from being a Salazzle to being a Komoo'o in the wishverse, as well as setting up which Pokémon I'm turning into)

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>>7107455
>Delcatty
Ew fuck no. Ain't got no plans of touchin' no moonstone.
I see what you're gettin' at though
Ap-purr-ently some of my buds are goin' to be around until the heat death of the universe though
So yeah
>>7107503
So... Dust.
'Kay.

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>>7107503
>I AM ... NOT CERTAIN IF WE HAVE FAMILIAL RELATIONS TO THE COSMOG LINE
You need to ask Dad about that one. Luna doesn't know much either, but she doesn't like talking about THAT place.

How can i fuck my Lopunny properly?

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>>7107557

>>7107284
Isn't it past your bedtime kid? Go to sleep and show me your fanfiction about ongoing events in the morning.

>>7107342
That if it even touches port given your description, nevermind torch.
Looks like the IP will need to do a good old ship boarding.

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>>7107557
bitch jirachi a sleep right now you fuckin dense cockmongler
the fuck is that shit you posted for a pic too
even i cant jack off to that and I jack off to some pretty sick shit
>>7107544
WAIT WHAT
WHAT
WHAT THE EVERLOVING SALAMADA-FUCKING TITS

>>7105852

FUG! *swoon*

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Hey Orrefag here. How is everyone? I nearly got mugged today but I kicked the guy's ass so that's good.

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>>7107093
GIRATINA, MAY I ASK YOU TO MOVE JIRACHI INTO YOUR DIMENSION SO OUR BROTHER WILL NOT BE ABUSED ANY LONGER

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>>7107557
sorry but palkia said specifiacy to for us to hide them and you'll never find them again

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>>7108016
hey! how are ya bud?!

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>>7108054
Pretty good. I'm chilling for the rest of today. Pretty damn tired but I haven't gotten any time to whine on here so I'm gonna shitpost now.
How are you dude?

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>>7108016
oh not much
drunk off my ass
gonna jump headfirst into pokephilia with a coworker tomorrow night
we discovered a level beyond friendzoned called dadzoned
the gods shitpost among us
you know, the fuckni usual these days i swear

>>7103734
You're on trash, the resemblance should not be a surprise.

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>>7107557
lmao you still have breasts bitch
>>7108028
fuck yeah i did

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>>7108093
You sound drunk as shit dude. Do what I do and play shitty indie games to stave the depression off.
>Nuclear Throne
>.flow
>2kki
>LISA the Pointless
Honestly I'm set tonight.

>>7108028

*flex* Giratina, could you please go screw with Palkia, please? She took something of mine... My breasts.

>>7103734
There about three different layers of ongoing autism right now, normal autism, transformed autism and legendary autism.

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>>7108016
Glad to hear you got the upper hand. Also, I now got a bit of contention with the Super Grand Hotel there. Delivered basic supplies, no big deal. On the way back, I thought I was running an empty line, but some bastich strapped on a container of dark balls to the underside of my trailer. If it weren't for Driftwood, I'd be looking at a few years in jail. I wouldn't put it past someone in Pyrite Town- that place hasn't changed since I lived there ages ago.

>>7108008
Yeah, I have no idea what to do, all I know is what I shouldn't do right now.

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>>7107557
AS MY BROTHER SAID, YOU STILL TECHNICALLY HAVE TITS.
>>7107565
HE SAID THAT HE WAS DRUNK AROUND THE TIME THEY SHOWED UP AND CANT CONFIRM IF HE MADE THEM OR NOT
>>7108015
MY BROTHER IS IN A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP AND, UNLIKE YOU, DOES NOT 'BOUNCE BEDS'
>>7108178
MY BROTHER WILL DO NO SUCH THING. HE DOES HAS LOYALTIES.

ITT: HUMANS AND POKEMON SWITCH ROLES

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>>7108178
i'm more a more beautiful girl than you and i don't even need breasts

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>>7108177
(OOC I'm not as drunk as Mr. "Office Photo" Stockman is IC)
>>7108178
bitch imma find em and fry em into a titty flavored salamada
>>7108182
and this surprises you why fampai

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>>7108091
I evolved into gengar today. im pretty good!

getting stronger by the minute.

>>7108164

Good. Now that that's cleared up, I can get back to being a female Dragon Tamer that's turning into a Komoo'o... At least I think that's what I'm turning into.

Dialga, is it possible for you to clarify that?

>>7108259
Your a girl?!?

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>>7108291
YOU TECHNICALLY STILL HAVE BREASTS.
THEY ARE NOT WITH YOU, BUT THEY EXIST.

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>>7108297
Yeah, you surprised?

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>>7108177
Is there a worthwhile LISA fangame now?

>>7108240
Dad's done some weird shit when he's drunk, wouldn't surprise me if he made them.

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>>7108297
yeah, and i even have a boyfriend and you don't

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>>7108339
ayyyyyyyy

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>>7108202
Fuck man, sorry. If I was posting here I would have let you room with me as long as you needed. Sorry that shit happened.
>>7108278
(I know this is roleplay dude. My characters is an absolute loser IC too.)
>>7108285
Nice, dude. If you need a training partner I'm always down.
>>7108339
I only found out about it recently but its damn fucking good so far. 3-5 hours of content.
So far it doesn't really intersect with the main plot if that's something that's a dealbreaker for you.

>>7108278
Not surprised, just cataloging the autism into an autismdex.

>>7108339

Oh mighty savior of Hoenn, how much joy seeing you brings me...

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>>7108297
Fuckin yeah, pretty much only mammals got the tiddy. Croagunk is not a mammal. Therefore, Croagunk pretty much dont got the tiddy. Still stylin as fuck though.
>>7108326
WAIT WHAT
LIKE THEY'RE JUST FLOPPING AROUND INNABOX
LIKE LITERALLY COULD BE PICKED UP AND TURNED INTO SALAMADA

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>>7108384
PLEASE REFRAIN FROM FLIRTING WITH MY BROTHER. HE IS HAPPILY MARRIED TO SOMEONE BEYOND YOUR TIER.
>>7108389
UNFORTUNATELY THEY ARE INVINCIBLE.
>>7108339
PLEASE IGNORE THE HUMAN. SHE HAS BEEN ABUSING OUR YOUNGER BROTHER JIRACHI. SHE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOUR ATTENTIONS.

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>>7108427
>mfw that burn

>>7108427

I'm turning into a Fighting Type, Dialga. Remember that.

>>7108297
Yeah, not all Pokemon exhibit Sexual dimorphism.

Not her but yeah.

>>7108495
>One punch man theme plays.

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>>7108495
YOU ARE ALSO TURNING INTO A 'SLUT'.
NO MATTER YOUR TYPING YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DEFEAT ME, AND EVEN IF YOU DO YOUR TIMELINE WILL COLLAPSE INSTANTANEOUSLY.
IT IS AN EMPTY THREAT, FOR YOU CAN NEVER POSSIBLY ACT ON IT.

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>>7108495
As someone who's fought legendaries before.

You are fucked.

Just. Don't even try, there are basically classes of legendaries, the lowest (mewtwo, victini) were possible to beat with luck.

Dialga is among the highest, and nothing can defeat him, he's the god of time, funposting among us, don't even fucking try.

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>>7108495
what can't get a mate without a those shitty meat blobs

>>7108539

I'm already a slut, Dialga. I've been a slut for years. My boys don't mind it, though.

Legendaries were a mistake

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>>7108539
My cosmically omniscient friend I dont need timeline sight to see she was already a slut

also, just for curiosity if you hadnt told me about the invincinble tits, were the odds high Id actually try to made salamada out of them
Because I feel like they are right now, even if that's the rum talking.

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>>7108610
I mind.
I'm a dad now, sluts are bad news.
All you do is sprout around your selflesness and how badly you want dick.
I want none of that exposure early for my boy.
You stay away.

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>>7108371
I don't mind if it doesn't interact with The Painful's plot, I just want to see more of the world, so now I'm really interested in this.

>>7108539
Calm down bro, you know what happens to time when you get this worked up.

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I'd like to add, it's not all bad. I mean, I don't that hurt in my heart as much these days. I'm in love and I *am* loved. It's just a split in how I am loved.

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>>7108582
the tiddy is overrated, and thats from somebody who likes it.
>>7108610
nice self-own. you do a lot of anal? Cause it sure seems like you gobble with your ass and shit with your mouth.

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>>7108684

An offering.

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>>7108684
Here's a little something to get your curiosity up. Also its free and like only a third finished.

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>>7108610
'Boys'? Then why do you want you're non-existant tits back? You just said you have boys or is it because you can't please them like you can't please yourself, then again that should be a hard thing to do when you're a slut, then again I bet "it" never gets "Hard" for you

>>7108731

Boys = my Pokémon. They're all male, hence my boys.

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>>7108610
YOU ARE A PROSTITUTE FREE OF CHARGE WHO SUPPLIES THEM WITH FOOD AND SHELTER
WHY WOULD THEY MIND?
>>7108640
IN THE TIMELINES WHERE SHE FORGETS TO MAKE THEM INVINCIBLE YOU DO ACTUALLY MAKE 'SALAMADA' OUT OF THEM
>>7108684
I WILL TRY TO DO SO, BUT THE BLATANT DISRESPECT SHE THROWS OUT OUR FAMILY HAS BEGUN TO WEAR AT ME OVER TIME. LOOK AT THIS >>7108725 SHE DOESN'T EVEN APPRECIATE YOUR FORM AND FEELS THE NEED TO MORPH IT INTO THAT OF A HUMAN'S, AND CONSISTENTLY IGNORES YOUR VOWS WITH LUNALA.

>>7108640
>>7108389
The same typo twice, must have been some potent alcohol.

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>>7108684
:DD

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>>7108725
THe fuck is this ass-ugly shit. Either admit to yourself you're a pokephile or draw humans, fuck this shitty-proportions half-assed self-deceptin.
>>7108803
I'm closing in on the bottom of the bottle thats why.
>>7108799
>I ACTUALLY DO IT IN TIMELINES WHERE ITS POSSIBLE
holy shit that is amazing i dont even care if they would taste good or not

>>7108933
I'm going to go for "extremely bitter.

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>>7108933
Only attention those tits would be worth getting.
I'm kinda thinking of giving them to Pew as play things and milk dispensers.
I mean they are indestructable, soft and probably not a choking hazard.
>>7108799
Dragontits won't feel anything when that happens right?
Don't wanna do her a favour.

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>>7108495
Fucking how?

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>>7108725
Uhh...
>>7108729
Something looks odd about the one on the right.
It's probably that he doesn't have Brad's heavy brow and shaded eyes, I'll get used to it when I play it.
Also for 3 - 5 hours of content and for it to be a third done definitely sounds good.
>>7108932
Look how mad styling I am, much like a gang member.
That's how the Humans would say it, right?
>>7108799
It seems I have a big fanbase, it's inevitable there's a few weirdos in there. You must have had your fair share of weird fans too.

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>>7108992
Im gonna respectfully disagree and go with "horrifcally salty" :^)
>>7109015
if you legit land then steal some fuckers clothes for real, IP is like fry on rice here and they aren't fucking around
At least they're too busy with Aether and the occasional Skull to
>LOCK
>DOWN
>EVERYTHING

>>7109097
Kommo-o doesn't get Close Combat

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>>7108933
I WOULD DOUBT THEY TASTE GOOD
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT UNCOOKED FISH?
>>7109015
IT WOULD FEEL LIKE HAVING EVERY MOLECULE SHREDDED AT EVERY POINT OF EXISTENCE
THERE ARE NO MEASURES FOR THE PAIN
>>7109135
MY WEIRD FANS DRAW AMUSING IMAGES LIKE THIS

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>>7109139
Oh relax buddy, that set was from way back.
Lost the pants though.

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>>7109145
but it gets focus blast. it's the same bp but you have to actually hit first

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Hello everyone. How are we tonight?

What is mating with a golisopod like? Wh-What does its penis look like?

>>7109145
... Well. I wanted to give her the best fighting move I could think of, but I guess the proves my point even more.
>>7109212
Focus Blast isn't as good on Kommo-o because of lower Sp Attack
>>7109223
Watching Dialga roast a slut

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>>7109177
Well she might be a masochist with the amount of burns she's getting.
Or just that much of a slut for attention.
Plan is a go then.

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>>7109223
mutha fuckin EVOLVED

>>7109232
never met one.... why?

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>>7109232
What the fuck?

Why?!

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>>7109233
i know kommo-o a shit at battle and you want to compete against dialga

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>>7109233
I think the slut is pre-roasted at this point.
>>7109265
Good work!

>>7109265
>>7109266
W-Well, because I think I have a crush on mine...

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>>7109296
>I think the slut is pre-roasted at this point.
more like way over well done.
not even her pokemon will want her anymore

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>>7109177
The super-high-quality serve-over-rice stuff you ssve for a second date owns, but i'm guessing it tastes like the crappie fish cutlets that really belong in a fryer with hot sauce to be tasty
>>7109223
Chill as fucc, roasting some punk, drunkposting.
>>7109232
>2.0 m
>108 kg
Probably a lot like going with a dude in full contact sports gear, fampai. Cant help you on the dickpic front though. Still, probably doable. Some guy my brother knows found a way to take a Tyrantum, so you should be fine if you do your research

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>>7109223
SPLENDID. KALOS IS NOW ONLY HALF ON FIRE. ZYGARDE APPEARS TO BE RESTORING ORDER.
ADDITIONALLY, MARSHMALLOWS ARE A SPLENDID HUMAN CONFECTIONARY, AND I HAVE BEGUN TO SPEND TIME ENJOYING THEM.

>>7109135
>>7109177
I DO NOT HAVE MANY FOLLOWERS. THE MAJORITY OF HUMANS AND POKEMON VIEW ME AS A HARBRINGER OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. I DO NOT HOLD THIS AGAINST THEM, HOWEVER.

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>>7109416
I'm a follower~

>>7109315
I got the typical advice of try to see if your pokemon is down for that, take it slow and easy, don't force anything, don't fucking force anything or you deserve whatever fucked up shit they do to you for it, and maybe if you wanna be super sure see a psychic trainer.
I'd hook you up with some shops that specialize in alternative toys and shit, but im too drunk to infocrawl and i deleted those bookmarks

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Well....
That was an interesting day.
Driftwood back and i'm glad is was just Victini.

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>>7109416
Yeah, don't you like, absorb all life in a certain radius?

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>>7109416
Excuse me mister.
Uhm I've heard you could do this super cool move called oblivion wing, I would love to see it if you could show it.
I think it would be great inspiration for my paintings.
Thank you for letting me bother you for your time.

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>>7109379
I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT HER TITS HAVE NEVER BEEN WITHIN A FRIDGE, SO THE TASTE WOULD LIKELY BE COMPARABLE TO FISH THAT HAS NEVER SEEN THE INSIDE OF A FRIDGE
>>7109416
WHAT ARE YOUR FOLLOWERS LIKE, BROTHER?
>>7109445
YOU SEEM TO BE A FOLLOWER OF MANY OF US.
I FIND THE POLYTHEISTIC VIEWPOINT TO BE REFRESHING, AS IT DOES NOT PIT US AGAINST EACH OTHER.

>>7109472
Driftveil isn't rip?

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>>7109503
Uh
They actually have
We kinda put them in the fridge when Palkia gave them to us

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>>7109232
The 'isopod' from the pre war era do not have penises, but here's a sculpture a friend who fucked a Golisopod did

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What's the best punishment for a misbehaving human?

>>7109520
Thankfully, No.
Victini was right when he said it was just warning shots. He was close to setting the diesel we use to refuel ships with alight. Dialga would have been right if i had provoked the legendary further.

>>7109596
h-hot...

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>>7109606
ARE YOU REFERRING TO THE 'KINKY' KIND OF PUNISHMENT, BROTHER?
>>7109521
IN THE TIMELINES WHERE THEY ARE COOKED THEY DID NOT COME INTO YOUR POSSESSION, AS YOUR GROUP WOULD HAVE OTHERWISE TORCHED THEM

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>>7109606
Tail in the stomach.

Should I get a Gengar or Chandelure?

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>>7109521
Was it the same fridge that got blown up?
>>7109503
Hey, I'm down with that view, like, I'm not super-spiritual but I was never a rage against the heavens guy even when my life went not-good.

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>>7109654
Is kinky the proper type? I don't consider myself versed on kinkyness.
>>7109691
Thank you "Fug."

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>>7109696
uuh gengar you dumby!