ITT: Pokemon Are Real.
Universe 2.
What does PAR think of the afterlife?
Last thread: >>10844302
10 inch nerd cock
>>10860224
I don't wish to know yet.
>>10860203
What did you do?
Hey PAR what's going on recently? I've been gone on a trip for quite a long time.
>>10860224
I'm fuckin' afraid of it, you feel me?
I've done some fucked up shit, plus I can't keep my shit together.
>>10860247
I got laid last night, but she went to go check out my work, you feel me?
Now, the cops are going to fistfuck me. I got the Eevees that slipped outta the main room back in, and they're not trying to maim me or anything, but... oh, fuck.
You're smart, right? How fucked am I?
>>10860314
heres a cop
>>10860338
thats a big cop
>>10860224
Considering how many things jump at the first opportunity to leave? I doubt it's any good.
>>10860401
falcon pawnch
>>10860314
What is the problem, you lack the proper paperwork?
Personally I don't like breeders but, if they don't want you dead or even like you, you could pretend that they are all your pets.
>>10860417
Got you covered.
>>10860401
>Zygarde hits Morty just hard enough to push him over.
"Hey."
>>10860338
GAH!
Between that and the booze, I nearly shat myself, thanks, Anon.
Look... if I neck myself, how long will it take for somebody to find my dumb ass? It ain't right for the fluffballs to starve because I'm busy swingin' from the rafters, you feel me?
>>10860424
All my pets. Yeah, I got a dozen-plus Eevees in this great big just-renovated building on the edge of town and all the females are knocked up, Officer. Hoenn's police aren't that dumb.
>>10860417
Wha
>>10860459
>The necromancer has been shoved. It's not a graceful fall by any means - arms windmilling to try and prevent the inevitable, Morty himself cursing like a pissy sailor....
"Didn't you ever learn how to knock?"
>>10860485
( Edit: Fuck, meant to say Kanto. )
>>10860513
>Zygarde shrugs.
"Nope. Did you pull the fool today?"
>>10860485
You know what would be funny.
If someone cursed you not to die.
>Serena sits in front of her mother's grave, talking to it.
"I bought a bar, and there's a crew renovating it now, I already ordered some of the stuff I'm gonna stock for it... I wanna make it one of the best places in town to relax, have a drink, indulge in whatever..."
>She sighs
"Aaaand whatever includes sex, I know, I know, how crass, but it just... I don't know, it seems like a good idea, like something I want to do."
>>10860485
I've seen crazy Skitty ladies getting away with worse.
Why exactly are you risking a the police is presumably there is nothing illegal going on?
That is not speaking of any possible abuse in that case, my answer would be to let them go their own way while you pretend they escaped.
Alright, fess up. Who's the smart guy that let their meowth out to try and scare the fuck out of me?
OP: Pretty sure I'm in hell right now.
>>10860641
"Three of Pentacles, actually. Teamwork, fulfillment, collaboration, and learning."
>Morty doesn't bother getting up. The floor is his home now, it belongs to him.
>>10860720
You should be glad - it's probably the only kind of pussy you'll get to see.
>>10860641
Ha ha ha.
Then I'd get to see the meteor hit from the comfort of a cell after Surge kicks my shit in.
>>10860667
Look. I'm a Breeder. My cousin used to be a Breeder, and he got his shit kicked in by the law already, you feel me? I'm paranoid as fuck that I'm going to get jailed or that I'll end up like him, mouthing off while high and going suicide-by-cop.
Maybe cleaning the Eevee enclosure will help me calm down.
>>10860298
... I guess this is an exclusive club then?
>>10860780
"Who are you getting those from?"
>Zygarde grabs Morty's leg and lifts him up into the air.
"I sure as hell don't think its from me."
>>10860896
Could be funny.
I'll hit up Xern.
>>10860298
>>10860926
Sorry, bullying humans.
There's a meteor coming soon. Going to go ride Rayquaza and punch it if the humans don't bother with it.
>>10860926
What's an exclusive club?
>>10860926
Hey there. Sorry, I was dealing with some work stuff.
So, we've got political instability back in Kanto, general strangeness in Kalos, Zygarde sighted in Unova of all places, and a meteor with 50/50 odds of killing us all, due to hit in four or five days.
>Things are being assembled
>"If could just get this to Hoenn I would have fixed his problem already"
>>10860926
Sorry, I tend to get laser focused on things to the point I forget about most people.
Where did you go in your trip?
>>10860950
My reccomendation is to throw every single ballistic missile on Earth at it.
If it fails at least we may get a nice yet still destructive meteor shower.
>>10860950
>>10860954
>>10860973
>>10861041
Guilt, one of the best currencies in the world!
Thanks for the heads up. I'd hate to be walking around with my head in the sand.
I went around the various unincorporated islands that regions don't tend to care about. Someone's gotta do birthday parties there after all.
>>10860950
>There's no resistance when you pick him up. He's essentially a rag-doll when it comes to how easy it is to move him around.
"Always with the touching, Zygarde. If you don't want to work with me I'll just get my partnership from the best dragon... Lance."
>>10861041
I mean you guys can do whatever you want. Just, like, do it sooner rather than later.
>>10861082
Try not to panic, it shouldn't become an issue.
>>10861146
>Morty gets shaken a bit.
"Well, what am I working with you on? Satanic rituals?"
>>10860780
I hate you.
IS JIRACHI HERE
...I just had a horrible realization. Alolan Ratattas are dark right? And Heart-Swap is a psychic move...and psychic moves don't work on dark types so...
>>10861182
>>10860973
Panic? Why would I panic when the world needs an innocent smile more than ever.
Why, with my Mister Mime, Primarina, Smeargle, and Vanillite I'll be bring happiness to that region. I'll book a ticket right away even...
But which of those three regions needs me the most...
>>10861191
Get in line.
>>10861182
>Shaking the Morty earns you a sour look
"Unlike Bond, I don't prefer shaken."
"Anyway.... Are you a virgin?"
>>10861239
Psychic Type attacks don't work on Dark Types, dork. Status moves are fine.
>>10861232
(I'm just gonna let everyone know OOC that Jirachi will only grant 3 wishes before he fucks off to sleep and someone has to wake him up. Also for sake of plot I'm not letting the Meteor be wished away unless everything else fails.)
What? I've got three left.
>>10861338
I wish Sebastian Brodd had a 12 inch penis.
>>10861082
Interesting goal, yet noble.
>>10861182
Alas, I'm just one single nerd with no political connections.
>>10861314
Kanto, but I wouldn't mind Unova.
>>10860224
afterlife?
i never really thought about that
i dunno, i'll find out that when i die, i guess
>>10861322
...I-I KNEW THAT! I was just testing you!
>>10861338
I have a wish, but I fear it is too selfish to squander such a blessing on.
I would like to ask your advice first, that I may know if this is, as I fear, foolishness.
Would it be unreasonable to ask to speak the language of men, so that I wouldn't need to rely on technology, or Psychic assistance?
>>10861314
Kanto or Unova.
>>10861322
>Zygarde lowers Morty and drops him on the floor.
"Do I look like a virgin?"
>>10861381
Do it.
If you launch them at Earth I'm gonna have to throw you in the time out box.
>>10861338
I wish for the knowledge necessary on how to create psychic potential in humans.
>>10861424
There are vocal chord surgeries available to expand vocal ranges to human equivalents. Since you're your biology is mostly organic you could probably get such a treatment.
The fucks a Jirachi
>>10861372
>>10861381
>Stibium gets a 12 inch chickken dildo.
>>10861424
Well we've got two left. If you want to get it it's really up to you!
>>10861478
>Science man gets a small sheet of paper.
>It says, "wishes for people who want it individually or being born with it."
>1/3 wishes left.
>>10861338
Wait what?
>Sip
>>10861372
>Choking on coffee noises
>>10861448
I have no reasons to destroy my home planet.
Lets see if the Unovan E4 are doing anything
>Messages to Unova E4 sent
>>10861423
Suuuure anon. Test the guy who snarks Sabrina on a daily basis about Psychics. Good job.
>>10861448
"Yes. The real question is... Who's the older virgin, you or Zekrom?"
>Morty is a lazy man - he simply returns to laying on the floor once set down
>>10861566
This message should best be of some degree of importance. Grimsley and I have an Almian princess to watch.
>>10861586
I don't know who that is...oh but if she's a psychic trainer she could fix this bullshit right?
>>10861554
>Dildo received
>"What is happening"
>"...at least it did not actually happen as intended"
>>10861605
Miss? Does the Unovan military have a plan for the meteorite about to strike us?
>>10861605
"Have fun with the wacko."
>Grimsley flicks aces at Catilin.
>>10861554
I WANT THE ULTIMATE POKEMON TRAINER IN THE GALAXY TO FIGHT SB
>>10861676
"Are card decks not supposed to contain only four aces?"
>Caitlin yoinks the extras, tucking them into her sleeve
"I have fixed this problem for you."
>>10861658
Our plan was to alter the course of the meteor using the combined Psychic power of every Psychic type in the military.
>>10861566
Good job. No time out box for you.
>>10861586
"Zekrom."
>Zygarde makes a show of getting one of the wings to rub against Morty's crotch.
"Should I give you a lesson in my sexual prowess?"
>>10861723
That's, uh, pretty subjective.
Unless you have a name I can't grant that.
>>10861478
Such a thing would be astounding, but I worry about the risks and the cost. Still, it's feasible without divine intervention, and that gives me hope.
>>10861554
I appreciate your generosity, but I don't believe it would be right to make that wish.
Thank you, though. It's a privilege to speak with you.
>>10861658
"Got something you need to tell me stibs?"
>>10861478
Did you really expect to get help on this project like That? If you stopped wasting time and started ironing out the problem with the procedure you might be able to get somewhere.
I finished the sequencing you needed done on those last samples by the way. I was planning on sending it to you directly but with all the weirdness online, I decided to have it couriered to you instead. Expect a package within a few days.
>>10861903
i want a really big ice cream cone
it's so hot here so i want a huge one
>>10861903
I wish that whatever would give you the most happiness, would happen.
And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Anyone who dedicates themselves to fulfilling others deserves a bit of happiness themselves.
>>10861824
A better idea than my plan of sending every missile possible at it.
Have the militaries of the other big regions been contacted for a collaborative effort?
>>10861858
I consider myself a pretty rational man.
>>10861935
>The dildo is still very visible in the desk
"I have been pranked by some sort of psychic pokemon"
>>10861903
I... I dunno how to say this nicely, so I won't.
I'm a fucked up guy. I've hurt, even killed, a lot of Pokemon, and until not too long ago I didn't even think much of it.
Now, though, I feel my sins starting to weigh on my back, you feel me?
I've been thinking about what I did, what I let other people do, and what sorta fucker I am.
I'd like to know if there's any way I can make up for the shit I've done up to now, or if it's too late for my dumb ass.
>>10861903
I wish all humans were Pokemon!
>>10861904
Maybe talk to your friends about classes?
You don't need magic for everything!
>>10861960
Done!
>Rocket waifu gets this monster: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRXOTGsSSLw
>>10861978
Granted? Kinda?
Gonna sleep, that was the last one for a bit.
>>10862055
Well, I can't grant that for you. I think the best thing to do would be, uh, trying to make up for that? Open up a pokemon reserve? Like the safaris but, not cruddy and you don't let humans in to go wild.
Orrrr help the N guy out. Hopefully that helps!
>Jirachi proceeds to narco the fuck out.
(Jirachi can be awoken with, uh, quads or if someone finds him in the world.)
>>10861627
Maybe, but I could do it better.
>>10861858
"So you're saying Zekrom's older than..."
>He's cut off by a gasp at the contact, shifting his hips into the touch
"Sounds like something a virgin would say, Zygarde-chan."
>>10862027
"Haha if you say so."
>>10862027
You think firing missiles at a rock the size of a region will save you?
This is not a movie where you can simply blow the rock up and not have to worry about the smaller but equally deadly chucks of meteor still hurtling towards you.
>>10862146
>Frankie chuckles at this whole thing.
>>10862027
>He goes to pick up the item in question, curious.
>>10862027
Very rational.
>>10862092
Night, Starnerd.
>>10862113
"A virgin that could crush your bones."
>Zygarde pulls the wing away, chuckling.
"You're going to have to impress me if you want to bed me."
>>10862092
yay!
>she goets a comically big spoon that came with the ice cream and start happily eating it
>>10862092
Thanks, little guy.
First thing I'm gonna do is see if I can come clean about the shit I've done, and what I'm doing now.
Is that journalist guy still on? I wanna talk to him before I call the cops on myself, you feel me? Just... get it off my chest.
>>10862170
Wouldn't the smaller exploded chunks of asteroid burn up while entering the atmosphere though?
>>10862088
What
>>10862170
Better to die trying
>>10862146
"One second... Probe, did you record this?"
>Evens and he did
>>10862183
>There's also a pair of odd spherical objects on the desk, about a Voltorb in size
>>10862170
Smaller chunks will still do less damage than one large one. Personally I'd rather a devastated landscape over a devastated planet.
Speaking off, I just got authorization from board members. Elan Industries is officially open to support whatever chemical needs might be required in stopping the meteor. If the rocket idea gets put forward we'll be happy to supply the fuel and whatever else is needed.
>>10862250
Indeed. And the explosion would launch many of those pieces out of trajectory as well.
>>10862170
Oh shut up, there's at least like, five legendaries that don't want the world to become a crater, all of them have the power to stop it, if you think we're going to die like that you've got another thing coming.
>Eros closes his Dex angerly, looking around the forest he's resting in.
"He must have had a reason to leave me behind..."
>>10862250
Depends on the size of the chunks, although considering we're talking about a meteor the size of a region those chunks are still going to be large enough to get through.
>>10862282
Splintering the meteor just kills you in a different way while giving you false hope.
>>10862286
These smaller chunks are still huge, your plan is foolish.
>>10862325
Pah, if they have such power they would have used it already.
You delude yourself by overestimating their abilities to stop the inevitable.
>>10862113
What?! You can?! Fix it then!
>>10862282
>Poke poke
"Stibs, do you have something to tell me, or is it some manner of Top Secret Admin Thing?"
>>10862286
Between this and the Unovan plan, I'm feeling fairly hopeful.
>>10862376
"I think I know now why all he did was give me belly rubs the other night"
>>10862325
Some of them might like the opportunity to destroy human society. They could just carve up the meteor in such a way that it destroys civilization without destroying the planet.
>>10862350
Small chunks that don't ignite the atmosphere will increase survival rates. We don't need to blow it up though, we could also just alter it's trajectory enough so that it misses. We only need to tap it, not demolish it.
Or we can get a crew up there and plant explosives through out it to specifically make the chunks themselves explode in a fashion that sends them all off in different trajectories. If one explosive would be unfeasible for that.
Still if you have any suggestions please give them. Cooperation is essential during crises.
>>10862350
No such thing as false hope.
Better to fight and fail than to roll over.
>>10862282
>Probe did record it
>A few seconds later, a video from Probe's view is obtained
>The dildo clearly just was there from a frame onwards, as if it had been always there
>>10862376
"The balls have no relation to the shaft, if you ask."
>>10862413
>Slight blushing
"Uh, what...?"
>>10862286
Yes that too!
>>10862350
Well then we just need to explode it more!
Swarm missiles fired after clusterbombs after the Big Ones!
Makes everything even smaller and more burn-y up-y.
>>10862355
Cross internet magic isn't a thing, anon
>>10862199
>Morty doesn't even bother trying not to look disappointed, playing it up with a pout.
"Aww. I suppose I'll just have to summon your brother for a real good time."
>Rising to his feet, Morty turns away for a few moments to... adjust things, fixing Zygarde with a smirk when he turns back.
"Tentacles, Zygarde. Tentacles."
>>10862207
>After a long time the wish was made
hmm, this ice cream was fantastic
no i feel too lazy to do anything, what to do?
>>10862589
OKAY THEN WHERE ARE YOU?! I'm in alola. That's near you right? It has to be right?!
>>10862516
"I understand, but that still doesn't answer the question, Mr. Stibs."
>>10862413
". . . Explain. Please."
>>10862516
>>10862672
>Squint.
>Attempt to get weird sausage thing.
>>10862487
Here is a suggestion for you.
Give up, for there is no hope.
>>10862516
What a pathetic answer.
I only wish I could make the impact happen sooner.
>>10862536
How do I even respond to that.
Your plan is ridiculous.
>>10862487
>>10862536
A combination of approach could be taken.
Missiles to split up the meteorite, let the smaller ones burn up and have the combined psychic power of the leagues deal with the smaller but still threatening chunks.
>>10862788
You clearly don't want to help in these times of need.
>>10862672
>Pointing to the spherical objects
>Did something just move in one of their sides?
"These? A project that will be finished soon, maybe I can even get some testing done today, right here."
>>10862715
>Stibs doesn't mind the dino scurrying away with the 'sausage'
>>10862715
>Frankie tries to keep the thing out of reach.
>Then he applies the sniff test to make sure it isn't used.
"This isn't that kind of toy, little guy. We'll get you something else, okay?"
>>10862917
"Hmm, how so? I'm eager to see what this project is."
>>10862589
>Zygarde squints.
"Do tentacles beat mouths?"
>He chuckles.
"Are we going to Alola?"
>>10862917
>>10862947
>Toy has been stolen.
>Hiss and to find something to chew on.
>Odd dubs and its the fridge.
>>10862788
Ridiculously good!
>>10862917
That works too.
((Link Cable when, we can send it back to ORAS))
>>10863077
(Anon this is an ORAS timeline already)
>>10862663
Nooooope, I'm in Johto
>>10862956
>Unfortunately, any eyebrow action is hidden by Morty's headband
"Apples and oranges, Zygarde-chan."
>He makes a show of thinking the matter over
"Maybe. I kinda want to see how he plans on getting here."
>>10863144
((Then... We already sent a meteor away before. Why not do it again?))
Been walking for awhile. the gps says im about 50 miles from the nearest pokecenter.... not to bad right? I wish i would not have accepted that pill from a stranger.
>>10860224
It sucks super hard.
Who wants to send presents up to the Curiosity rover on my rocket?
>>10862984
>Pat steeldino.
"Alright, little guy. Good work not chewing on the appliances."
>>10863243
What kind of presents?
>>10862947
"Robotics, the associate in charge of the hardware seems to have disappeared, thus, having to come up with my own designs."
>>10862984
>Watch steeldino skitter off to the kitchen with non regulation sausage in mouth
>A bag full of metal chunk should be there somewhere
>>10862917
Have you only just come to that conclusion?
>>10863055
No.
Just ridiculous.
You are a fool.
>>10862672
"Oh I practically threw myself in his lap and all he did was punish me with tickles and belly rubs"
Do we even know what the meteor's composition is?
>>10863282
You're a trash pokemon. If the world ends, at least you end with it.
>>10863272
We should just cut and run. Space habitats are very possible after all. Or live in whatever place Giratina got dumped into.
>>10863259
Whatever you want. I'm sending cookies up.
Yes I know it's a rover. Yes they can't eat. Yes, I know.
It isn't stopping me. It never stopped me.
>>10863285
Going to find that out now.
>>10863360
clemont is is true youre an objectophile
>>10863272
Foolishly wasting my genius on you!
>>10863285
Rocks and stuff.
>>10863360
Send him some donuts for me!
>>10863243
do what?
>the rocket waifu looks confused
>>10863360
Be quite a treat if it turned out to be a comet with a carbon cover.
>>10863272
No I just want you to stop wasting my time.
>>10863340
You will still need to one, fix the issue with the lack of gravity and two, build space habitats in record time.
>>10863243
>>10863360
Send a few Porygons or two.
>>10863393
Just because I like machines more than humans doesn't mean anything.
Ash only made it worse.
>>10863412
Will do.
>>10863446
Sending Curiosity presents.
...What are you?
>>10863454
Agreed.
>>10863488
So we get another AI space nerd?
...Nice.
>Serena returns home, scooping up a package at her doorstep
>It's a sample kit for several white wines, which means she gets to cook something to go with it
>Chicken piccata, a Fiorian staple, and one of the best things to have with white wine.
>She pounds cock meat, flattening it out and covering it in flour before cooking it in white wine that was too cheap to drink
>At the same time, she makes a sauce, and spaghetti to go with it
>Only a half hour later, she serves herself a plate, and starts tasting the wines as she eats.
>>10863260
"Fascinating..."
>Frankie: pause.
"I'm beginning to feel that my job isn't going to be logistic and bookkeeping."
>>10863282
"Were you, ahem, trying for something else?"
>Raised eyebrow.
>>10863498
Can we send extra batteries?
>>10863498
well, i am what you humans call a UB, that's what the small human said
i am a celesteela
>>10863340
Potentially, although that would require gaining access to a functioning space habitat.
>>10863412
I despise you.
If I still had my armies I would have you crushed for daring to mock me.
>>10863488
You are failing at that, although you are likely used to failure by now.
Any asshole in Alola wanna help a poor innocent...uh...honor student, trapped in a Ratatta's body?
>>10863162
Okay. How far is Johto from Alola?
>>10863446
>>10863576
...interesting.
Need to see this in person.
>>10863498
It doesn't mean anything, but it is something I clearly understand.
And yes, if we are going to be wiped out lets get remembered by any future civilizations by putting in space AI with odd views on life.
>>10863551
"If you want I can always bump you up to Security"
>>10863551
Solar panels make that unnecessary.
>>10863576
Huh...
Would you come to Lumiose at some point?
>>10863618
I'll see if it works. It'll be launching from Azure Bay in about an hour.
>>10863551
"Hehe maybe I had gotten into his alcohol so might have been a little frisky."
>>10863340
How rude
>>10863604
You seem to be speaking from experience at this crushing losses thing.
>>10863608
Sorry, not even remotely close at the moment.
>>10863682
Open up a few video streams for me if you can. Thanks in advance,
>>10863498
Thanks!
>>10863604
Join the club, Iron Lung.
Aw, you lost your armies? What a shame!
>>10863498
I thought we agreed to forget he existed.
>>10863777
>Your smug aura attracts cat bastards.
>With the most disposable income known to man: coins.
>Payday: habben
>Cat: retreat to ether
>>10863765
Will do.
Watch clemonlemon.com
>>10863777
No problem.
>>10863865
Can't let you forget aboooout him~
Anyway I need to check the rocket again.
>>10863618
>>10863682
huh, i have a fan club now?
well i might see my fans, if i had any sense of direction
>>10863942
>Roll to give the objectophile nerd some cute robots
>>10863942
Why do you hate me.
Better question: why didn't you stop my desperate ass in the first place?
>>10863618
>Frankie grins.
"Reporting for duty."
>>10863701
>Eyebrow waggling ensues.
>>10863682
Ah. I'm not the most technically proficient person, my apologies.
>>10863942
>Tuning in now.
>>10863765
I'm sure you will enjoy a crushing loss when the meteor arrives.
>>10863777
You will get what you deserve, cretin.
>>10864051
(So the thread knows: now that Clemont has mentioned Ash, we're working to mesh the Games and Anime further than before, and basically Serena got rejected by Calem and went after Ash, who actually ages in PAR, and now her Pokemon have many, many more embarrassing stories to tell about their trainer)
>>10864031
Well I can come meet you.
>>10864040
>Sweat.
>>10864051
I dunno, you seemed interested. Besides I'm not your babysitter.
>>10864071
It's okay, I'm not mad or anything.
>Clemont can be seen giving the rocket a few extra run throughs.
>If dubfail he's going to cancel the launch.
>>10863942
>Laptop ready to view
Thanks.
>>10864031
I'm always in for seeing interesting pokemon.
>>10864078
You seem really enthusiastic about the meteor, something to tell us?
>>10864071
>Chuckling
"No need to be so stiff, friend"
>"...did he call me admin, earlier before?"
>>10863911
>Tfw smugness strong enough to repel coin memes
>Jesus.
Odd.
>>10864078
Gotta find me first, space marine!
>>10864323
You just wanted to watch a trainwreck didn't you.
I'm going to need stronger stuff now, thanks for that.
>She sets the samplers aside and goes to get a bottle of bourbon, then comes back to her computer.
I still can't even imagine what I saw in that idiot.
>Sippppppp
>>10864339
Other than that I hope all of your plans to stop it fail?
Not really, no.
>>10864347
I am not a marine, I am a commanding officer and you will address me as such.
>>10864323
alright, you seem nice, i hope you are not scary
>>10864339
aww, i am honored that you called me interesting
>blushing rocked
>>10864401
Wait so this isn't a Photoshop?
>>10864323
>No fail, nice.
>>10864401
He was gross, guess I should have stopped you. Oh well.
Serena, what do you know about artificial intelligence? I've been working on a few but... I'm not getting what I want.
>>10864531
I try not to be. I like pokemon and robots more than humans, so. I think I'm nice.
>>10864339
>The rocket goes off into the air, the camera view switching to a Magnezone that follows after it until it gets high enough to escape the Earth's orbit.
>It changes to a camera on the outside of the rocket.
>Rolling for it we can get a view of the meteor.
>>10864401
>>10864599
PFFFFFF.
>>10864523
Then command yourself into the meteor's path, thank you in advance.
>>10864531
Still could use a closer look.
>>10864523
Commanding officer of the latrine squad, maybe.
Latrine marines, if you will!
>Theta teeters at the edge of consciousness.
"Hey. Where are we?"
>Look around.
>'Right, can't exactly perceive much when my brain's fried.'
>>10864626
Robots and pokemon more than humans and interests in AI, yep, shared nerd traits.
>Still watching the rocket
>>10864401
>Light walks in, after a long rest
>First he sees the bottles, already begging for a sip
>>10864599
>Only to see this in the way
>Chuckling zapdoggo
>>10864599
DELET THIS
>>10864626
I wish you would have, rebounds are always mistakes and rebounds with guys you only met once at a summer camp years ago are even more so.
Anyways, artificial intelligence? Well, there's Porygon of course, but Silph keeps the code for those locked tight if I recall, but if someone did it once, it could be done again, and the Dubious Disc exists, so clearly someone cracked it.
If you're trying to make your own, why not uh, get a porygon-2 and see what you can find? Assuming it doesn't hurt to poke around in one that is.
>>10864669
No.
I could see about getting another meteor to come your way if you'd prefer.
>>10864679
You know nothing of me.
Perhaps you will get your own meteor too, time will tell.
>>10864662
I can hear you giggling from my room, what's so funny?
>>10864899
Nooooothing.
Reading through notes.
>>10864669
well maybe we can meet one day of course, for my fans
>>10864626
alright
you seem like a nice human, the human that was named sun said that some humans would try to kidnap me
>>10864759
Pretty cool, huh?
Looks mostly carbon and metal based from what I see.
>>10864802
Well. I'll look out for you from now on I guess. Don't take ten pokemon cocks at the same time, no one will respect you if you do that.
Hmmm, thanks. I don't really want to copy too much of the Porygon code because it has a garbage learning program.
Thanks though, I'll look into it.
>>10864952
Thaaaaaaaaanks?
I'm going to leave for a bit to monitor this, sorry.
>>10864988
Wrong. If she can take ten cocks at the same time she will have earned my respect.
>>10864944
And those notes are... amusing somehow.
I don't buy it, who are you snooping on? What's your diabolical plan?
>>10864944
>44, secret unlocked!
"The first letters spell RING?"
>Squint.
"That's weird, whatever."
>>10865043
Well, I have to update them. Okay, fine, it's Serena.
>>10864868
I know you have a weird helmet and lead the forces of bathroom cleanliness.
Oooh, do I get to name it?
>>10864868
Yes, meteor on meteor violence, that would be grand. Or meteor on smarmy fuck.
>>10864952
Soon.
>>10864988
Usual asteroid composition, I guess.
Porygon are intentionally designed to learn the most in the first day or two. That is fine for combat, security and data purposes but for anything higher you will be looking at more advanced AI.
>>10864662
SHUT IT, MALVA.
>>10864793
"Not you too..."
>Serena groans, taking a double-shot of bourbon
>>10864988
I don't think I could fit that many if I tried, even if I took lessons from Siebold.
If you're looking for something that can learn, Porygon-Z apparently are better at it, but that obviously has downsides.
>Sorry about the reply chain memes
>>10864682
(Shit sorry, almost didn't see the post)
>The location is outside the warehouses
>The Beartic is carrying Theta
>REC ON
>"...powerful psychic abilities"
>RED OFF
>Gene turns to you
"Whatever you did there, I guess hurt you more as mucha s that Swalot*
>>10862325
>Poke, poke.
"Are you going somewhere?"
>>10865182
>Ricky walks in sipping on some water
"What's up girl? Nice picture by the way."
>>10864988
alright, when you get the chance you can see me~
>>10865161
yeah, soon
>>10865276
>>10865247
>Sleeping psycatte wakes up
"GHOST!"
>He scrambles away, trying to not get murdered
>>10865082
Serena? What about her?
>>10865307
>Squint.
"Wasn't there an Aegislash following you?"
>>10865182
>Chuckling stops
"Yip?"
>Light closes in to his trainer, wondering what is wrong
>>10865136
That is untrue, I am a conqueror of nations.
You do not get to name your meteor.
>>10865161
I was planning on crushing the other fool with a meteor already, no need to worry about that.
>>10865344
If you don't have like 50 Minior I'm gonna be disappointed.
>>10865369
>throw krickfeed guy at
>>10864339
>The Luxray nudges your hand to get your attention while Frankie cooks up some fish and rice for dinner.
>>10865411
>Dubfail.
>>10865369
>Argyle is thrown at Krickfeed guy?
>>10865196
>Laugh weakly.
"Yeah, not exactly a good idea. Head hurts, can't really see."
>Crack open eyes.
"Oh. Your bear is carrying me."
>Grin.
>Pat bear on head.
"So, where are we going?"
>>10865250
>Serena down another double shot and groans again
"What's up is my worst regrets coming back."
>>10865343
"No no, it's funny looking back, but... bleh. I wore his clothes, what the fuck was I thinking?"
>She passes the Dex over so he can speak in a way she understands.
>>10865411
>>10865435
(I'm fine with that, I'm gonna wait to see if they're around.)
>>10865344
Nah, the other guys seems pretty cool.
>>10865423
"Hey"
>>10865482
>>10865331
"...Oh, you can talk, I thought you were one of those ghosts that didn't do anything but murder."
>He sighs, picking himself off the ground and dusting himself off.
"I don't know where they wandered off to, actually."
>>10865468
(I'm always around. Just give me like... 15-30 minutes to clean up last night's adventures with alcohol.)
>>10865482
>>10865495
>>10865463
"Out of this dump, to an hospital and then a pokemon center"
>...
>...
"I forgot where either of these are"
>>10865467
>He leans in from behind her to get a closer look at the computer screen
"Worst regrets huh? Wanna talk about it?"
>>10865482
>>10865495
Pfff
>>10865482
>>10865495
>>10865517
>>10865531
>>10865344
The nation of the food court, perhaps.
Aw, lame.
I'mma name it anyways.
>>10865467
>Tapping slowly
"sorry"
>Light jumps onto the table, the closer to get a paw on Serena's shoulder
>>10865369
I have one.
It would be amusing to have that many, but also excessive.
>>10865481
I strongly disagree.
>>10865548
Do as you wish, I do not care.
>>10865531
(It looks to be spam, sorry.)
"Never try and date a five time conference failure, especially after they become a six time failure."
>>10865571
"It's fine, we all made mistakes last year, what the hell was I thinking, contests? Uuugh"
>She gets up
"The couch is a better place for hanging out like this."
>She brings her laptop over and curls up in the corner of it.
"Hey Ricky, don't pass out when you touch the cushions."
>>10865481
>Sad attempt at speech: happen.
"Rarhsries' a mrew grrun, Arrriiw?"
>Vanjean is disappointed with his attempt.
>Time to snag Frankie's Pokedex instead.
>>10865626
>spam
nooooop IC shitposting
>>10865626
>>10865642
(It's OOC shitposting too, could you please stop spamming the thread)
>>10865683
ic
Might as well join.
>>10865621
Differences of opinion, mine versus yours.
I'll take mine.
>>10865633
"Alright? Did you just try to speak?"
>>10865626
>plop down next to Serena
"Heh I'll try my hardest for ya but you shouldn't feel bad about your ex even if people are poking fun at you about it."
>>10865731
"I think he did, couldn't understand a word though."
>>10865527
"I don't know either."
>Look around.
>Point towards city.
"Thatta way."
>Laugh.
"I think I can walk now."
>Fall out of bear's arms, roll, stand.
>Stumble.
>Begin walking.
"But yeah, I think I've got it from here."
>Start leading the group.
>>10865731
>>10865772
>The sparklion nods twice.
>Time to get out Frankie's dex and painstakingly poke at that.
"Yes. It wasn't very successful, was it?"
>>10865626
"that was odd"
>It seems Light has yet to realize what the caps lock or shift button do
>Move with Serena to the couch, curl up next to her
>>10865514
(Alright, that wasn't 15 minutes, but I'm back.)
>>10865435
>Daniel narrows his eyes against the blue light in his living room
"What the fuck?"
>>10865790
"Higher chances there than here, and less druggies"
>Chuckling
>Beartic back in his ball for now
"You lead the way"
>>10865621
You know, saying that generally means you DO care.
I'm gonna name it Timothy. The third. Esquire.
>>10865772
"I think I got a word..."
>>10865793
"You will need a lot more practice, it seems"
>Ruffle his mane
"But you tried"
i've dug into the dirt at this point
>>10865746
"When your ex is Ash Ketchum and fucking infamous for failure and being a dumbass..."
>>10865815
"I like to think a Malamar made me do it, but we both know it was just me."
>Sippp
"On the bright side, he seems to have fucking vanished in Alola, so I don't have to worry about getting so desperate I call him again."
>>10865894
>>10865894
siorry
>>10865894
im sorry
Hey PAR? How do you know if you're in a Darkrai induced nightmare?
>>10865731
And of course I will take mine, as your opinion is inferior.
>>10865850
Generally, yes. But not in this case.
That is a terrible name.
>>10865894
im really sorry
>>10865942
its al over
>>10865942
Um.. look for a Darkrai? Or persistent shadow or anything, from what I have heard the nightmares themselves are nothing special, aside from being constant and effective.
>>10865894
im sorryyyyyyyy
>>10865882
>tappatappatappa
"It was a start. I was making a joke about your new Grunt, Mr. Admin."
>>10865968
Can it cause nightmares from inside the Pokeball?
>>10865894
"good"
>The shockdoggo uncurls to try to give Serena reassuring pats
>Pokemon are patting humans, what is the world coming to
i wish i wwas dead
>>10866010
aklains
>>10865993
( Fug. )
>>10865848
>Continue walking.
>For a while.
>Soon, they arrive at the outskirts of Lumoise.
"Wow, my legs are -sore-."
>Sit on nearby bench.
"The hospital is only about a quarter mile from here."
>Stand back up.
"Shouldn't be too much longer."
>After another period of walking, Theta appears to be doing better.
>They arrive outside of Lumoise General.
"Finally."
>Collapse onto lawn.
>Lay there for a while.
"Hey, grass is pretty comfortable."
i am powered by memes
>>10866010
Um.. it shouldn't be able to, but it CAN create artifacts that act as nightmare protecting fields olin their own right, so perhaps it created one of those.. Look for creepy glowing things, or anything a psychic should be able to see but can't.
>>10865952
A terrible name for a terrible meteor.
>>10865993
"I don't like to consider this project a team, myself as an admin of said team or of Frankie as a grunt of said team"
>>10865952
You're just reinforcing that you doooo.
You know, you're right, how about Lord Buckethead the Second?
>>10865894
>Ricky gives Serena a reassuring pat on the shoulder
"I know I know but mistakes were made and you learn from them right?"
1 shitpost 1 shot
>>10866032
"You sure you don't want to check in and have an actual bed..."
>...
"Right, the beds there aren't very comfortable. Feeling better or do you need Beartic's help again?"
>>10866073
Rip liver
>>10866052
>tappatappatappa
"Fair enough, friend. Some things should be left in dreams, for their own good."
>Zap cat pokes at the 'dex, thinking.
>>10866078
wjere were going
>>10866017
"Doesn't stop the burning shame, or is that the alcohol, I don't even know anymore."
>She offers the bourbon to the Jolteon
"A toast to mistakes."
>>10866061
"And learning from them."
>>10866095
To the end times, one sip at a time.
>>10866050
I can't find anything like that...
Are you sure it's not possible?
Why would anything not a nightmare have this much Ash in it.
>>10866022
Steven Stone, put down the whiskey.
>>10866105
im finishing the bottle for this one
>>10866107
,maike me
>>10866077
>Continue laying down for a bit, then stand.
"No, no, I'm all good. So, what's the plan now? Gonna find out what's in that old ball of yours?"
>Obvious excitement.
>This is the first, actual goal accomplished since arrival.
>Except obtaining a boat.
>>10866098
"Right that's what I meant, you learned from your mistake to date this ash character for some reason despite knowing what an utter failure he is I hope."
>>10866107
What other Pokémon do you have access too, Many things can cause nightmares.
>>10866145
I have come from my training to beat you.
BEGONE KNAVE.
>>10866115
Do I need to go over there and take the bottle myself?
>>10866135
I have a Metagross. My.... friend... has Darkrai.
>>10866052
A terrible meteor for a terrible fool.
>>10866060
I do not care what you do.
I am only wasting my time with you while my scouts find more powerful Pokemon for me.
That is a worse name, if there is one thing you are good at, it is creating the worst possible names.
>>10866157
n
>>10866156
oks i jsut cvomited all over the keybaord
you win
ill be back tomorro
>>10866177
Just as I predicted, back to my training.
>>10866157
Either of you have access to fairy type moves? Worst come to worst, you can moonblast yourself into dark-free stupor.
>>10866174
Like more Miniors?
>>10866089
"...Jean is there something I should be remembering here?"
>>10866177
Was that a no, Steven? Fine, I won't take the bottle.
Do you need someone to make sure you don't pass out and choke on your own vomit?
>>10866209
No, we don't. I run three Dark Types on my team.
Hye hpar
s
i think im an irl steep tye9
i drank 4 bottles of carco and ive ascended
>>10866246
beepus
>>10866098
>Sip
"he is in the past"
>>10866239
>tappatappatappa
"You tell me, Seb."
>flop
>>10866174
Are you suuuure?
Whatcha lookin for, tall red and angry?
But I named it after you! You wound me, sir.
>>10866132
"Yeah, I don't date failures, but the downside is I don't date at all."
>>10866274
"God I hope so."
>Sippp
>>10866122
>Help Theta stand up
"First we go to a pokecenter, whatever there is inside it must be in a sorry state"
>>10866259
I'm pretty sure you aren't a Steel Type, Steven.
What the hell is a beepus?
>>10866337
bepsi
guess whop had a second keyboard
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
hey alain you8thionk i can do an 5th bottle
>>10866352
How about we play a game Steven.
If you beat me in a wrestling match you get the bottle.
If I win I have to drink it instead.
>>10866281
"There's that nickname again, the one I only heard through two very close friends there"
>>10866379
say goodbye to yo8r nips alain
Hey there, /par/!
Does anybody have any tips on catching and Training a Riolu?
I've got a trip planned, but I want to make sure I don't mess up!
>>10866397
I'm just going to assume you're still in your office.
... wait, what?
Why my nips...?
>>10866413
Riolu are easier to train and evolve when hatched and hand reared.
>>10866413
B R E E D E R S
Seriously there is a multimillion poke industry built for exactly this shit.. why does no one think of it when they ask stuff like that?
>>10866413
you get oen fropm the devon mart
and you ffffffucking spike the egg at the groun
>>10866442
im going to bite them off
>>10866239
Perhaps.
That is sensitive information however, I cannot simply hand it out to those that ask.
>>10866288
I am sure.
What I am looking for is none of your business, fool.
My name is Sturm, not the name you created.
>>10866395
>tappatappatappa
"What nickname? I was just noting that such ground may not be safe to tread."
>Smug fukken cat has an obvious secret.
>>10866457
How...?
I wear three shirts, Steven.
>>10866308
>Mutter a bit.
"Well, we're a bit away from a center. I guess more walking is in order."
[ Walk some fucking more ]
"Big red building thing, I think that's it right there."
>Point towards suspected building.
"Looks medical."
>Sigh.
"Fuck, I'm still tired."
>Walk inside.
>Relieved sigh.
"Wow, air conditioned."
>Look around a bit.
"Let's see what's in that ball of yours."
>Raise eyebrow.
"So, uh, are they gonna crack it open or something?"
>Have no clue how pokeballs or pokecenters function.
>>10866509
not if were mud wrestling in front of devon
>>10866447
Well excuuuuse me for not wanting to buy success from the get-go.
>>10866442
>>10866457
Er... You may have a point. I'll see if there's a suitable place in Kalos - the industry's well-regulated here from what I've heard. not a lot of shady egg mills.
>Rolling?
>>10866531
how drunk are you
>>10866542
Well excuuuuuuse me for offering a chance for trainers like you to achieve their dreams..
>>10866531
When I said "wrestling" that wasn't what I had in mind, Steven.
>>10866542
swag
>>10866583
im a professional alcohol if hatt what youre asking
>>10866636
scared of losing your nips?
they dont call me neip destroyer diago for nothing
>>10866465
But are you sure that you're sure?
It's a jigglypuff isn't it.
Your name is Lord Buckethead the Angry.
Cause you're angry and have a bucket on your head.
>>10866511
"I know most Pokemon center have traveler's aids, but I think those are mostly for trainers on their quests"
>Grabbing the still dirty pokeball
"You press the button and the pokemon inside is let out"
"Are you ready?"
>>10866474
"Is that nickname one of such unsafe grounds?"
>Thinking
"No...just a terrible feeling of impossible things"
>>10866293
"Well I suppose that's better than people making fun of you for dating the wrong people then. So what's on the drinking menu for tonight?"
>>10866293
>tapping slightly faster
>can do longer phrases
"if you want i can zap him away if he returns"
>>10866668
how profesiona?
>>10866668
They don't call you that at... Nevermind.
I'll be there in.... 16 minutes? For your ancient Kalosian bed wrestling.
>>10866676
>Nod.
"Yeah. Let's see it."
>Prepare self for anything.
>>10866777
(Trips fail O boi)
>>10866720
"Whatever you want, man, we got a white wine sampler I was going through, take a look if you want."
>>10866732
"Thank you, my hero."
>She scritches the Jolteon behind the ear
>Sippppp
>>10866754
six
>>10866763
ralllllllllllllllllaiiiiiiiynyyyyyyyyyyyy
thats too long
im gonna get vored by my metagorrs
>>10866673
Yes.
I do not know what it will be, although I will be sure not to tell you.
That is absolutely not my name and I do not have a bucket on my head.
>>10866813
will you be my daddy?
>>10866803
( It appears that I am unprepared for what may come. Oh dear. )
>>10866813
No you won't.
We both know that your Metagross is smaller than you, Steven.
>>10866777
>The pokeball's button is pressed
>The ball opens
>The contents materializing into something big
>...
>A Stoutland
>The pokemon looking around, readjusting himself at the light and at being out for this many months
>And at the moment he sees Gene, he runs and tackles him
>Affectionately, a dog greeting his returning master
>>10866895
>MFW I forgot the image
>>10866848
thtas not
ill be ur dog
>>10866895
hoe
u ever seen a metagors
>>10866777
>Two in one night, geez.
>I don't have any premium sass for this.
>Payday, meet guy.
>Cat, skedaddle.
>>10866904
>>10866876
(No one is ready for doggo.)
>>10866812
>happy yapping
>And liquor sipping
>Sipp
Throw >>10866943
at >>10866812
>>10866943
Steven?
I have a Metagross.