ITT: Pokemon Are Real. Universe 2. What does PAR think of UBs?

>>10844289
kys serena loving spic

>>10844327
u kys

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>>10844096
>Gene had already taken refuge close to the big bear, not in any mood to deal with more aggressive pokemon
"Just our luck"

>The Beartic tanks the hit, and counters with Slash in a sluggish motion (hits on evens)
>0 Atk Beartic Slash vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Ninjask: 62-73 (45.5 - 53.6%) -- 38.7% chance to 2HKO

i claim par for shitposts

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>>10844331
>He's quick enough to duck out of the way of the punch, running to stand behind his (now clean) Hydreigon and glaring at the spot where her feet meet the floor
"DID YOUR EARS GET FUCKED UP TOO, BECAUSE I COULD'VE SWORE I JUST SAID SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF "DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING FLOOR"!"
>>10844198
>Well, now everyone here is freaking out, for one reason or another
"ONE THING! I ASKED FOR ONE THING!"

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>>10844302
They're strange, fascinating, probably really dangerous, and I know pretty much nothing about them.

Anyway, is that clickbait writer still here?
>Anna gets out the stretch the legs and train with the team. Rolling!

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>>10844331
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? THERE'S A BOAT WAITING."
>Mal gets some distance, prepping to fight if he needs to.

>>10844473
"I DIDN'T THINK SHE'D FREAK OUT."

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>>10844473
>She seems to be intentionally ignoring anything the man says, running forward and swinging wildly once more.

>>10844532
>Ripped bandages fall to the floor as she moves, keeping both men in sight.

>>10844303
>Ninjask 2 falls to the ground, unconscious

>>10844451
>Ninjask 1 is still active

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>>10844532
"YOU LET A PSYCHO BITCH INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!"
>>10844569
"A DEAF PSYCHO BITCH!"
>The Hydreigon grabs the fist you swing with in one of his "hands"
"Okay seriously though, can you fucking restrain her, Hydreigon?"
>An attempt to restrain the woman is made by the Hydreigon - if you think this needs to be a roll go ahead and interpret it that way

>>10844532
>roll to turn into a pokemon

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>>10844569
"WHY DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?"

>>10844717
"Just- Fucking hold her down and I'll take care of it."
>Mal takes a few steps closer, watching the mystery bitch.

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>>10844717
>It doesn't, but she struggles madly, and begins attempting to bite the dragon as her arms are restrained
>Her eyes have the look of a person running on pure adrenaline.

>>10844772
>As she is totally restrained, she slowly seems to calm down, accepting her fate.
"...If you're going to kill me, let me see you for real."
>Her voice is hoarse, clearly disused
"Or are you going to use me like you used that other guy, turn me into your meat puppet?"

>>10844302
>universe 2

what the fuck

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>>10844302
>Prostitutes choose to be raped xD
shiggy diggy

>>10844888
(There was a reboot)

which pokemon has the best cock

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>>10844840
>Luckily for you, Daniel's Hydreigon is well behaved enough not to chomp back
>However... it does move its main head uncomfortably close to your face, letting out a guttural snarl and a hiss before pulling away
>>10844772
"She's fucking crazy, what the hell?"
>As Mal asked, the Hydreigon attempts to pin Kat to the floor

>>10845033
me

>>10845033
ocean man

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>>10845033
Apparently for sheer size, the title goes to Barbaracle.
>Sipppppppp

>>10845131
dont reply to my posts

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>>10844840
"What, the scarf?"
>Mal pulls it down, showing the corner of his mouth.
"Nothing weird about me."

>>10845076
>The scarf is put back in place.
"Relax, I'm going to get her back to sleep and we'll leave."

>>10845131
do me a favor and dont reply to mine either

>>10845131
same here desu

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>>10845076
"Drop the act, big mouth, if you were going to eat me you would have done it already."

>>10845178
"Stop the mind games, jelly bitch. I want to die looking at your weird white bubble head, right in whatever the fuck counts as eyes on you."

>>10844708
>Theta steps back and shifts into a defensive stance.
"If he comes over here, I've got 'em."
>Baton in an outstretched arm, though he is a distance away from the Ninjask.

[ Probability of Counter [ 8-9 ]

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>>10845277
"You're right, he's not going to eat you. You're dirty as fuuuck I have no idea where the hell you've been."
>>10845178
>Daniel grumbles something about having to scrub his floors again under his breath
"Yeah, alright. I guess you're carrying her?"

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>>10845131
Hey there.
The place is a little messy, sorry about that. I'm looking for a temp job until the bar thing takes off, OK?
Any suggestions or leads? Pokemon grooming, bookkeeping, housekeeping?

>>10845344
can you fucking not

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>>10845277
"Yeah, yeah."
>Mal grabs a bit of sleep powder and presses his gloved hand into mystery bitch's face.
"Bite me and I'll make your life a living hell."

>>10845331
"Yeah. How much you want for your trouble?"

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>>10845344
The gyms always need new trainers to act as challenges before the leaders, maybe try one of them?

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>>10845331
"Fuck off electric freak, you're just a pawn of the jellybitch"

>>10845402
"Oh fuck not ag-"
>ZZZZZZ

>>10845301
>Ninjask 1 is flying at high speed between the Beartic and Theta, readying a Fury Cutter
>Odds: goes for Theta
>Evens: goes for Beartic

>>10845453
>Rolling for if Fury Cutter hits

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>>10845452
"Electric freak? What sort of drugs....?"
>>10845402
"Keep her the hell away from me, how about that?"
>His glance shifts from the glove to the extra sleep powder that fell to the floor, eyes narrowing
>There's stuff on the floor, it's dirty and germ filled and that means he didn't actually clean himself so there's germs everywhere now-
>He's freaking out at least a little
"The fuck is that on my floor? Didn't you scrub yourself?"

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>>10845419
Oh. My. Gosh.
That would be amazing!
I could try to get into Shalour, or here in Lumiose, or even Santalune or Laverre!
I'd need to catch Pokemon fitting the Gym's Type, right?
Any advice for impressing them? You're a great Trainer, I'm sure you've got tips!

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>>10845561
You'd need to have Pokemon matching the gym, yeah, and it's best if you beat the gym in question before you apply. Once you've done that I can put in a good word for you, and it should be smooth sailing from there.

>>10845469
>Once again, Theta is ready, though the strike is close to hitting.
>The attack is parried by the baton, the sound ringing through the empty halls of the building, and he steps back.
>Then, with a pivoting on his foot to direct more force into his swing, he lashes out with a horizontal stroke.
>The air whistles around the weapon.
"Get back!"

[ Success Threshold [ 5-6-7-8-9 ]

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>>10845452
"Ass."
>Mal pulls a cloth and dusts his hands off to get it off.

>>10845536
"I did I just- Look, sorry."
>Mal picks up the mystery bitch and heads toward the door.
>Last 6 numbers are cash left for Daniel.
"Sorry!"
>Mal heads out the door toward the waiting boat.
>If dubfail it either left or Kat wakes up.

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>>10845536
>The snoozing girl is still in the Dragon's grip

>>10845687
>Or not
>A short guy carrying a naked girl to a boat
>This totally isn't suspicious
>Did you even look through her clothes for ID or anything?

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>>10845687
>You dusted your hands off
>There's more dust on the floor
>Daniel isn't even around to see you leave - he freaked off to go get a mop and hot, soapy water
>845687 P is pretty nice though
>>10845723
>Passes along like a hot potato
>You're his problem now

>>10845647
>Hit!
>The oversized bug is sent flying towards a nearby column
>It desperately tries to change course
>Rolling, success on evens

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>>10845773
>Rip.

>>10845723
>Mal's just bringing all her shit to the boat so it doesn't look like he rooted through her shit and mugged her.
>They're probably definitely going to bring him for questioning sooooooo to expidite this a bit.
>Last number + 10 in minutes to Canalave.

>>10845812
>By a hair's width, the Ninjask avoids crumpling against the environment, controlling its flight again
>The lone speeding bug goes directly for Theta, buzzing angrily

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>>10845870
>Gene is not taking any of this shit
"Beartic, Icicle Crash"
>The bear readies himself to attack, but four months in a ball did not make any good on his reflexes
>Success on Evens

>>10845928
>0 Atk Beartic Icicle Crash vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Ninjask: 222-264 (163.2 - 194.1%) -- guaranteed OHKO
>Pinned under a large and sharp piece of ice, Ninjask 1 has been disabled

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>>10845846
>The girl sleeps anything but soundly now, tossing and turning in the grips of a nightmare.

>>10845928
>Theta watches the Beartic move under the command of Gene.
>As the ice is hurled at the bug, his eyebrows raise.

>>10846005
>Then he grins as the Ninjask falls.
"Good fucking hit!"
>He turns to face Gene with a hand raised.
>Expecting a high-five, likely.

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>>10846150
>High fives happen
"Sorry about the slowness, was trying to remember what moves he has"
>A few more pushes after, the stairs to the basement have been uncovered
"Let's proceed"

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>>10846023
"Please don't start any more fights."
>They arrive, Kat is taken to the hospital and Mal is taken in for questioning.
>He's a good liar so he's only going to slip up on a dubfail.

>>10846251
>Theta nods.
"You're all good. Let's go, yeah."
>He takes the lead, as usual.
>His baton, against the light of the sigil, appears rather battered and worn.
"Damn thing's getting a good bit of use."
>Continue down the stairs, which are also faintly lit by the crimson brand.

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>>10846281
>One of the first things they do is identify the girl:
>Kat Armstrong, from Black City, Unova
>She has one Pokemon registered under her: a Rotom named Rider
>No living relatives
>She is treated for her injuries, and restrained after she attempts to assault the staff
>After they discover Nilhiego toxins in her blood, the I.P is called in.

>>10846343
>The stairs leading down seem a bit humid
>With the faint light of the sigil you can see that the basement is slightly flooded

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>>10846343
"This place is a work out"
>Thinking
"It must be around here, or, down there"

help

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>>10846615
Spooky. What do you need?

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>>10845632
"Alright! I'm sure I can do this!"
>Quest updated: beat at least three Kalosian Gyms, catch three Pokemon of a Gym's Type, and finally get in as an on-staff Gym Trainer.
"It's Training time!"
>Rolling!

>>10846496
>Frown.
>Look at water.
>'Why?'

>>10846532
"Gene, it's rather wet down here."
>Sigh.
"Like, flooded."
>Push forwards anyways.
"Fuck."
>Feet are now in water.
>How deep is this, exactly?

>>10846692
>The water is ankle deep
>There's something somewhat noisy in a corner

>>10846656
im gay

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>>10846794
K cool

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>>10846692
"Bleh. Not that deep, but still sucks.

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>>10846794
You need our help with that why, exactly?

>>10846807
i know that

>>10846846
what do you do

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>>10846870
Why are you asking me? I'm not gay.

>>10846736
>Continue moving.
>Notice corner.
>Cock head, raise arm.

>>10846809
>Look at Gene.
"Something's in the water there."
>Point.
>Cautiously move towards source of noise.
>Trusty baton still raised.

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Hey there, /par/.
What sort of Pokemon are most able to tolerate an urban environment? I'm considering expanding my team, but I don't want to stick a Pokemon in a situation where they don't have the space for running, digging or climbing that they need.
If it helps, I've got an Alolan Raichu and a Luxray right now. We get out regularly for exercise and training, but I worry sometimes about the big guy.

>>10846905
>A closer look reveals the source of the noise
>A sleeping Swalot

>>10846916
Most ghosts types do not mind, or even enjoy an urban environment, as it provides ample amount of souls to siphon for health and plenty of potential pranks to keep the tricky ones occupied and happy. Typical house-pet mons like Persian, Purruhly, Rockruff, Meowth, and Lillipup also obviously don't mind urban life too much.

>Meanwhile, at Saffron gym
>A toilet is giving out, it's plumbing progressively worsening since a challenger threw multiple packets of gum in face of the ban on chewing gum
>The bathroom is flooding

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I need a hot fire type cock to pound me tonight. Meet me in Celadon, behind the gym if you're interested!

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>>10847030
Do you do ovipositors?

>>10846981
(Cont.)
>>10846916
Assuming thy are allowed outside the home frequently, many flying types like the Fletchling, Starly, and Pidove Lines also enjoy city life, as it provides mere constant thermals from the asphalt roads, and for the predators, an easy supply of prey mon like Rattatta to hunt.

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>>10847046
I said fire type.

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>>10847061
Have fun alone then.

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>>10847108
I doubt it, this ass is perfect for fucking, you see these hips, this tail? All I'm missing is a pair of thick meaty Charizard dicks stuffing my butt!

>>10846955
>'What'
"What?"
>Look at Gene again.
"The fuck is that?"
>Confused, looks like a weird, purple blob.
>Raise, then lower baton.
"Should we sneak around it?"
>Look at sigil.
>'Would the Cleave work on this?'

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>>10847156
I wouldn't touch your nasty ass with my ten foot pole you disgusting whore.

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>>10847229
But I'm clean as a natural spring! Come on, I can make your night, super effective in battle means super effective in sex!

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>>10847166
"Lets not disturb the thing, the less I have to deal with another pokemon trying to send me back to the hospital, the better"
>Gene Is looking closer to the floor, searching for anything glinting under the water
"It must be here, I'm sure of it"
>Rolling

>Meanwhile, the Swalot seems content sleeping

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>>10847229
Hey, you down to fuck?

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>>10847258
I was trapped in a dingy Breeding facility for longer than I can recall, pumped full of chemicals and made, over and over, to sire countless young who I could only hope wouldn't share my fate in that hell. I mindlessly fucked, hating every minute, unable to do anything else unless I was willing to risk the whip and cudgel of the so-called owner.

And yet, somehow, you're even more of a whore than I was.

>>10847316
>Theta nods in agreement.
"Yeah, probably not."
>Attempt to be quiet.
>Very slow movement, careful to not cause to many waves in the water.
>Do not see anything.
"Hmm..."

>>10847352
>day cares are bad!
can this die with oldpar already

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>>10847352
That's because I enjoy it!
I'll take electric types too, you in Kanto?

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Ohmygosh, I'm on a roll.
I'm going to try to take on the Lumiose Gym.
I don't know if they're going to go easy-ish on me because it's the first one I'm taking on, but I'm not taking any chances!
( Fighting this one out on Showdown with a Discordfag, not sure how to post links. )

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>>10847368
>Gene suddenly freezes
"I think I found it, in the corner near the pokemon"
"I'll go get it, don't move"
>5,7,9 Swalot is disturbed

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>Extra protocols are finished
>Hardware will need another day

>>10847352
>Righteous anger

>>10847415
Good luck.

>>10847379
Kill yourself

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>>10847493
Why would I do that when I can fuck things?
No takers, really?

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>>10847485
I... I lost. Really badly.
I froze up, I panicked, and I'm not even sure we were ready.
Time to get the team patched up, and do better next time.

>>10847438
>Theta sighs, relieved to see that his friend won't be getting attacked.
"I'll just stay over here."
>Grip baton.
>Keep other hand aimed at Swalot.
>Instructive words at the ready.

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>>10847438
>Success
>A dirty and grimy pokeball has been retrieved
"Holy... it is"

>>10847577
>The Swalot suddenly snorts

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>>10847505
>Leaf Blade.

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>>10847485
>Time to go find the nerd, if possible.
>Sneeky sparklion time.

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>>10847505
You are a sad specimen.

>>10847540
Oh well, have to learn from the errors.
If I were there in Kalos I would get a match with you, my team also needs some training.

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>>10847627
>Nerd has yet to come back from work
>Meanwhile, Frankie's dex is receiving a message
>"Just now leaving the workplace, had to hurry a few things in the face of wanting to prove things in time and an associate not returning calls"

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>>10847601
Rude!
>The Vaporeon slips into the pond behind the gym to restore himself

>>10847652
I'm happy with my life when I'm getting laid, that's all that matters!

>>10847729
>implying you can just lol shake off damage

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>>10847729
>Kartana fugs off.

>>10847741
(It was a shitpost if I was actually going to attack them I'd say something.)
(I guess that's cheap? i dunno, leave it to someone else I guess.)

>>10847729
(It's pretty cheap to shake off damage randomly, yes. That's oldPAR shit.)
(Don't be a shitposter. Unless you are one then fuck off.)

>>10847596
>'Shit.'
>Back away.
>Wait to see if it's actually awake.
>'I don't think the baton will work.'
>Wave to Gene, attempting to get his attention.
>If attention is obtained, point towards the Swalot.

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>>10847694
>"Understood. Looking to discuss details of Alola trip soon, bags already packed."
>"Considering taking up fishing while there."
>>10847774
( Chill out and look one post above you, would you kindly? )

>>10847741
>>10847756
>>10847774
(I just wanted to ignore the random attack out of nowhere and thought that was a way to do it.)

>>10847774
>implying that could be anything other than a shitposter

>>10847810
>>10847819
(So shitposting is okay. Great.)
(Invite the turtle back while we're at it.)

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>>10847797
>Attention get
"Lets just move away quickly nad hope it does not wake up"
>Swalot wakes up on 5,7,9 or odd dubs

>>10847837
(I'm not saying I approve but uh... Most everyone would ignore a random Leaf Blade out of nowhere. I sure as hell would.)
(The character doesn't even seem like a shitpost to me, she just seems like a character overly enthusiastic about sex.)

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>>10847810
>"About 9 days until the place is ready, but if you want to go to Alola earlier, I have no problems with"
>Rolling posts until home, last digit

>>10847845
>Swalot wakes up
>It isn't happy at being woken up
>There are about five steps between it and the closest of either Gene and Theta

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>>10846346
>Finally that fucking questioning is done.
>Mal creaks the door open.
"You going to kill me?"

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>>10847885
>"I'm eager to go. If this meteor thing on the news isn't dealt with, well, at least we'll get one hell of a view on the way out."

Some fucking cunt of a Manaphy heart swapped me into an alolan Rattata. HELP.

>>10847929
Welcome to Wonder Trade, ese. Shit like that happens.
They can make good scouts and lookouts if trained right, so maybe try to see if you can work with 'em?

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>>10847910
>She's strapped to the bed, currently quiet
"Your punchbug tied me down, I can't kill you if I tried. Can you stop toying with me and get it over with? Feed me to the big mouth or shove me into your head or whatever."

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>>10848014
>Mal rolls his eyes, walking up to the bed, but not close enough to be within grab range.
"What can I do to prove I'm human?"

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>>10847917
>"I'm thinking mount Lanakila"
>"That said, I have a few business to finish in Unova over the weekend"

>>10847929
Heart what?

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>>10848043
"Let me punch you. Last time you did this the hallucination stopped when I hit something."
>She strains against the ropes
"Not that you will, fucking jellybitch."
>Her hands are in casts now, but she tries to clench them anyways
"You enjoy watching me be stuck in my own head don't you?"

>>10847905
>Shit.
>The brand begins to glow.
>Theta raises his branded hand and aims it towards the Swalot.
"Gene. Back up."
>'Picked up a few tricks on that little adventure to Unova.'
>The words form in his mind.
"After the end, you may stand.
Path shattered, lines severed.
Cleave the one beyond the brand!"
>Instead of a faint, crimson wave of energy, a tight, sharp, blood-red blade is fired at the Swalot.
>It is barely visible due to the speed it travels at.

[ Success Threshold [ 4-5-6-7-8-9-0 ]
[ Charge decreased [ 30% | III ]

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>>10848083
"I mean, not really. Does this work?"
>Is she drugged up enough for this?
>Mal slips his glove off, waving it in front of her mouth.
"Bite me if it'll prove I'm human."

>>10848142
>roll to resist second hand Nihillego exposure

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>>10848142
>She's not drugged at all, as the doctors deemed it too dangerous when the effects of Nilhiego toxins aren't studdied enough to know how it might work with other drugs.
"Are you fucking serious. Do you have that low of an opinion of me? Because you chose me, bitch, you fucking wrapped around me and pumped me full of rage, so FUCKING USE ME ALREADY! STOP MESSING AROUND AND LET ME DIE!"

>>10848166
>That's not a thing.

>>10847379
You are somehow more of a slut than I am

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>>10848166
(Sorry anon. Maybe if she bit him.)

>>10848289
>He puts the glove back on, shushing her.
"Calm the hell down, I'm not going to use you. Can those jelly things you're talking about even talk?"

>>10848085
>THWACK
>The blade embeds in the Swalot face
>The poison pokemon is incredible pain, barely able to not go into shock
>It is going to need even dubs, 0 or 2 to not black out

(It's some kind of psychic attack, is it?)

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>>10848053
>Time to bother a nerd!
"MROWOW, rew."

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>>10848328
"You tell me, jellybitch. Last time we did this dance you told me where to find food and water in your world, and then you led me to your fucking Punchbug and told me to fight it. I fucking listened to you, not making that mistake again!"
>Her eyes are bloodshot, and full of anger, glaring daggers into the man.

>>10848053
That shit where it glows red and switches your body with something else.

>>10848380
( The attack is likely psychic in nature, yes. )

>Theta steps back, grimacing.
"Shit. Backfire."
>Blood drips from his hand, from the sigil itself.
>He is breathing heavily.
>'It worked. It fucking worked.'
>He closes his hand, and the blade disappears.
"Hey Gene, the thing worked."
>He laughs, then sees the Swalot clinging to consciousness.
>'Baton time.'
>Faint energy crackles around the brand as he pulls out the baton, walking towards the monster to finish the job.

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>>10848483
Trippy.

>>10848410
>Nerd is not bothered by affectionate pokemon
"Hey, Val"
>Ruffle that mane

>>10848328
( it was resist exposure from a bite... so yea def not airborne or some shit)

>>10848533
raaaay

>>10848571
Yeah. It apparently works on humans as I'm PERSONALLY FINDING OUT.

>>10848533
>The Swalot is unable to defend itself, as conscious as it is
>Or was
>Swalot defeated

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>>10848415
>Plan B, try to play along.
"Alright, alright. You want me to get someone trustworthy? Who do you trust?"
>Mal gestures toward the door.

>>10848576
(Yeah, he didn't get nommed. Don't worry.)

>>10848415
>Oh yeah the I.P got called in, if someone wants to walk in on that this is as good a time as any

>>10848483
Find the human acting weird as fuck and swap back?
Ese, I'm gonna guess this is some kinda cosmic lesson in humility or shit like that.
So, roll with it?

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>>10848619
"I would be able to tell you if I could FUCKING REMEMBER, YOU BITCH! FOR ALL I KNOW I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN THIS HELLHOLE!"
>She struggles again, trying to break free
>She can't, obviously, but she tries.

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>>10848571
>Persistent meowing
>It sounds like the Luxray is trying to make sounds his vocal cords aren't accustomed to.
>Finally, he gives up and tries to grab Stibs' Pokedex and claw-tap at that.

>>10848612
>Theta collapses the baton, then collapses into the Swalot.
>'Oh hey are my legs supposed to be numb?'
"Hey Gene, my legs aren't working, so I might need some help here."
>The water is soaking his armor, making it harder to move.
"Damnit, ew, ew."

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>>10848699
"Nooooooo. You're from Unova. Come on, I'm human."
>Mal cuts his hand with a pair of medical scissors.
"Seee? Hu-maaaaan."

>>10848662
ROLL WITH BEING BITE-SIZED TO MOST POKEMON. SURE. NO FUCKING PROBLEM THERE.

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>>10848533
"Are you sure you are not some kind of Psychic..."

>>10848726
"Oh, bother"
"This is going to get worse"
>Pulling Theta from the shoulders, going for the stairs

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>>10848744
"You think I'll believe my eyes? My sense of touch is the only thing you haven't fucked sideways and I'm almost certain you're working on that, so fuck you, stop screwing around like a little girl and get this over with."
>She probably tore a bandage straining against the restraints
>I dunno if the nurses would ask you to leave at this point, or if they should have done that earlier?

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>>10848768
>There was going to be a reply here
>But Val 2fast

>>10848721
>'dex obtained
"Something bothering you?"

>>10848845
[Incessant cussing from a visibly enraged ratatta]

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>>10848818
"Ugh. I'll try again later."
>Nurses are gonna kick him out after he cut himself with their medical equipment.
>Back to the evil oil rig.
>Guess its time to bug Stibium.

>>10848721
>>10848845
>Message for you.
>"Hey, renovations are going smoothly!"

>>10848768
Where you at, Anon?

>>10848875
FUCKING...I don't even know. I'm in Ula' Ula' I THINK. Kinda hard to recognize scenery from down here.

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>>10848845
>Nod
"Curious about details. Where in Alola are we heading? Well, that and curious as to what the work we're going to be working on is. I understand it has to do with robotics."
>Pause
"Huh. That's oddly familiar. I had an odd dream of something getting incinerated by a robot recently. I was... relieved."

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>>10848911
Yeah that's not far from where I am. Hang around the Pokemon center and I'll, uh, take you to Sun?
I think he can help you better than I can.

>>10848768
Play to your strengths, ese. You're intelligent, fast, and in your, uh, current situation you can eat almost anything.

>>10849069
WELL HURRY UP DAMN IT!
>>10849109
Uuuggghhh. If I get crushed I'm blaming you.

>>10848809
"Yeah, I'm something, all right."
>Laugh again, attempt to stand.
>It works, though not well.
"Paramilitary group. Maybe. Don't quite remember."
>Become quite dizzy."
"Anyways, I remember a bit more now. Don't think I'll be able to stay awake to explain it all, but I'm damn sure not from here."
>Shake head.
"Not one bit. And you're a little off with the psychic thing, now that I think about it."

( I believe it is time to end this session. )

Worst part of being trapped in this body is that humans can't understand me. Even worse is that I can understand pokemon.

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>>10849199
>Mal arrives, walking around the pokemon center.
>He smells like ozone and rocket fuel.
"You around here? Come on, I got us boat tickets."

>>10849233
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
>You just hear frantic confused squeaks

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>>10849265
>Whoops.
>Mal's actually just a 5'5" midget in a blue cloak and scarf.
>He crouches down to the ratmon's level.
"Are you the guy? Two for yes one for no?"

>>10849291
>Two very quick nods

>>10849223
Curious... Any interest in finding whoever has your original body?

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>>10849310
"Alright, you okay with me carrying you? Keep the dex, seems like its helping distract you."
>He reaches a hand toward the mon, waiting for another shake.

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>A frustrated Anna is angrily scrubbing pans, trying to think of how to not get thrashed on her next Gym challenge...

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>>10849205
"Hell, lets get back to Lumiose proper"
>Popping Beartic out of his ball again
"Help me with my friend here?"

(Yeah, I'm fine with that)
(Good night)

>>10849380
(Where?)

>>10849380
>Is this in Serena's house?

>>10849311
YES. I WANT BACK IN MY OWN BODY AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE.
>>10849351
>He seems hesitant, but eventually hops on.

This is so humiliating.

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>>10849038
"Part of it deals with robotics, the other half deals with our various Internet based services business"
>Thinking
"I don't think I recall such a dream. Though I'd like to see that robot"

>>10849409
( Yeah, it is. Sorry, should have been more specific.)
>>10849401
(Lumiose City. Feel free to drop in. )

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>>10849424
"Alright, now I look like a real crazy wizard. If anyone asks you're my faithful familiar."
>He chuckles, holding the mon so it won't fall onto the floor.
>I'll expedite this and say they get to Melemele so you don't have to wait half an hour.
>Mal pulls his phone out in one hand and posts on the 4champs.
Hey is Sun awake right now? I got a guy that got heart swapped by Manaphy and you might help better than I could.
Look for the guy in the robe near the beach.

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>>10849380
"Didn't go well? Need a drink?"
>Serena sips a glass of wine, having chosen to go light on the alcohol tonight.

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>>10849428
"It was... Astonishingly powerful, from what little I recall. As for business, I'll be glad to help if I can. Someone has to be security."
>Happy zapcat sounds
"When are we departing?"
>>10849492
Heart swapped? That sounds... intriguing.

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>>10849492
Um... I am awake but...
I'm not a surgeon so uh... I don't know how to swap hearts or anything?
I guess I can um... Go there anyway and try to help!!
>To the beach

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>>10849569
>Anna posts her last image. Need to filter up more.
"We got swept, Serena. Absolutely swept. I couldn't keep it together, and I screwed up."

I recall there being a Sylveon prostitute choosing to be raped somewhere around here.

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>>10849584
Yeah, I don't know much about it. Figured Sun would.

>>10849599
I'm pretty sure you have to find Manawqrdrhwef0
>99
>Large cat has landed on Mal.
>He drops the displaced rat into the sand to keep him from getting the squish at least.
"Why."

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>>10849636
"I'll take that as a yes."
>She pours a glass of red wine for the girl.
"Do you know why it happened?"

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>>10849584
"As a matter of fact, I was thinking of getting Frankie in charge of security. He certainly has the attitude for, plus he is someone I trust greatly"
>Pets continue
"Monday at the earliest"
>Regain control of pokedex

>>10848875
>"Excellent"
>"I guess they began with the removal of the old and unnecessary drilling equipment, and setting up for getting fiber Internet all the way there"

>>10849492
Don't forget the full trip report.

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>>10849723
"I should have sent Sorcier out first, not Cirrus, and we didn't have any moves that could bring them down fast enough, before they just got... Thunderbolted out."

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>>10849723
>Ricky exist and wake up to the sound of alcohol
"I dunno what it is about your couch but it is comfy as fuck girl. I could sleep for days on that thing. So what are we drinking tonight?"

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>>10849771
>Zapdoggo: materialize
>Paw at in understanding

>>10849723
>>10849771
>>10849772
>>10849786
stop this shit

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>>10849655
>55
>You failed to drop the mouse in time, he gets the squish along with you
>Weighing a good 500 + lbs, this is no joking matter.
>Most people, Sun included, are capable of recognizing that this is a problem - the boy returns Nebby to his Pokeball a moment later
"Sorry about that, you kinda... Sat right under my normal portal coordinates..."
>He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, offering Mal a sheepish smile

>4CHARACTERS
WHY

>>10849793
>>10849810
god if you guys hate it so much fucking force them apart
i hate this shit thread
>>10849723
>>10849771
>>10849772
>>10849786
>lol XD stop having fun
>roll to nuke house XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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>>10849797
>Mal gets up, coughing.
>He pushes the rat, which may have left I dunno.
"Can you just take this. I think there's glass in my lungs."

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>>10849771
"Well, now you know what to do next time, right?"

>>10849772
"...you DID sleep for days, I poked you a few times to make sure you hadn't died"
>She pours a third glass
"Red wine, here, take a look"
>She passes the bottle over with the glass
( https://www.thehouseofglunz.com/products/harlan-estate-napa-valley-proprietary-red-2013.html?utm_medium=googleshopping&utm_source=bc&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtpDMBRC4ARIsADhz5O53OskwpjwyNPSmtt5Z5W4DeDchs4fJ96zLiqS2sh-dMCZ223XmiJEaAg3dEALw_wcB )

>>10849786
"Oh, hey Light."

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>>10849786
>Pet the zapdoggo.

>>10849939
"Should we train more? Get TMs? Just try a different strategy, or get another Pokemon on the team?"
>heavy sigh
"There's a lot of things we can do, but I'm not sure what the best thing to do is."

( Guys, if having more than two players in a scene rustles your jimmies that much, the hide button is right up there ^^^ )

>>10849961
fuck off ray you insufferable faggot
i cant hide all your fucking posts

>>10849961
(Stop fucking poking the shitposters.)
>>10849969
(And you fucking stop.)

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>>10849888
"Uh... I don't have any empty Pokeballs..."
>Several moments are spent just eyeing the mouse. There aren't any visible injuries, but who knows if something internal was damaged.
"Glass....?"

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>>10849961
>Petted
>Content borking and light static

>>10849939
"Bork!"

(Just fyi, I don't plan to drop this char unless Serena herself were dropped)

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>>10849990
"Well it's a-was? A human. So..."
>Mal pulls several vials and flasks out. Nothing is damaged because of trips memes.
"...Scratch that. Do you have a house? I need somewhere to crash for the night."

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>>10849939
"I should work on that sleeping thing then."
>Swirl the glass and inhale the wine's scent while reading the bottle
"You always come up with the nice stuff next thing you'll be coming up with 5000 Unovan dollar bottles of liquor"

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>>10849961
"Honestly do all that, change your strategy since the last one didn't work, get better moves on your whole team, and maybe add a new member."
>Sippppp

>>10850002
"We really need to get you a way to speak when Delilah is off in Dreamland."
(Thank you, really.)

>>10850089
"...I may have ordered a case or two of absurdly expensive bourbon."
>Siiiiiiippppppppppp
"I mean, all but one bottle is going to the bar, but still."

>>10850106
(I might grab the Delphox or Altaria later if Anna or Ricky leave. I don't want to turn it into 5 people and have the discord people trying to split people up.)
(I'll be down for lewds if it ever come up to it? But, uh, I just don't want to force the group to drop from putting a fifth character in.)

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>>10850106
"Yip"
>That sounded like an agreement

>>10850138
(I don't think the Discord players want to split the group)
(Nor I am adverse to either large groups or lewds)

>retard going to pick up another character in ems sex dungeon
this shit is killing this thread fucking stop

>>10850187
(Yeah, I don't know. It'd be fun to do a three way.)
>>10850194
(Right, I'll shut up.)

>>10850209
thank you stop fucking feeding him and hell leave
maybe interesting characters like mal will get the spotlight

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>>10850106
>Nodding.
"I wonder if I can get a TM cheap... Something Sorcier can use, hopefully. Training can get going again, too. As for a new team member, I need to think about options."
>>10850187
>Pet zapdoggo
"I'm glad you agree. You'd know best, right?"
>>10850138
(Discordfag here, we're not talking about splitting the group.)
>>10850209
( Local shitposter just hates serena's player, and to a lesser extent, me. Don't feel like you have to change plans because of one anon who can't even use caps. )

>>10850240
(Ray can you please have Anna go with Sun or something. I don't want to make this a 5-6-7 person group.)
(Please.)

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>>10850106
>Big sips gotta catch up
"Niiice, gonna look forward to breaking into that fine fine bourbon then."
(I don't have any intentions of dropping ricky either just RP motivation overall is low lately)

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>>10850032
"Um... No..."
>Despite his best efforts a hint of his flinch at the mentions of his house slips through
"But I have an apartment if you uh... Wanna stay there..."

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>>10850138
(I think we're moving Anna out in a way that promotes character development right now, but I'm not sure what the player wants, so we'll see what happens)

>>10850187
"Here, you wanna try using my Dex? Apparently lots of Pokemon can use them to like, text-to-speech."
>She passes over the device to the zapdoggo
(I'm trying to avoid lewds in thread, but other than that same)

>>10850240
"TMs aren't the most expensive things, but if you need money I saved a lot by not trying to build the brothel right off the bat."
(I thought we were moving Anna out to a gym and making interaction with Serena less frequent?)

>>10850275
"It'll be here next week, but until then there's the rest of the stock, I've been busy, most of it is for the bar and over there now, but I took a few bottles out for my personal cabinet."
>She motions over to the pantry
"If we get bored of this we can go to stronger stuff."
(That makes me feel a lot better, thanks.)

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>>10850240
>Stretching and ubbing oneself on Anna's legs
"Bork!"

>>10850209
(Agreed t b h)

>>10850256
(No need to do that, just don't reply yo the anon with a hateboner for Serene and Anna)
(Unless you just dislike large groups in that case idk)

>jiji agrees cancergroup should die
thank fuck

>>10850305
>>10850320
(Anyway birbdick 3 way soon. Probably.)

>>10850411
(Anon you know you gotta deliver now, can't leave PAR hangin)

'Sup, /par/.
So, my job got me laid. Don't ask me how that happened, but it did. Women are weird.
There's just one thing that worries me. If she drops by the business, I'm afraid she'll blow the fuck up, you feel me?
I told her I work in Pokemon care, but I didn't mention that my big gig is a breeding op. Still, I got laid before the end of the world, right?

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>>10850305
>shockborker slowly taps on the device, trying not to to fry it
"hello?"

(Things can be arranged)

>>10850425
(Yeah just say he's taken for now. I might avoid postingwhen everyone else is on I don't want to trigger anon.)

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>>10850305
"Ah hard to get bored of a good red. Say maybe when you get your bar up and running I could help tend bar."

>>10850446
Heh good job dude, now do it once a night until the end and you'll be in nirvana.

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>>10850446
Money says you regret it later

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A pack of violent negroes is breaking into my home.

>This is Kanto National television with the news
>The Saffron Gym has been reported closed for maintenance due to a clogged toilet flooding into the entire building
>Maintenance workers reportedly found a large mass of chewing gum in the sewage pipes, presumably due to a sudden ban on gum
>Sabrina refuses to talk so far

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>>10850411
(Don't tease me man)

>>10850451
"That was easier than I expected"
>She realizes her glass is empty

>>10850464
"Pass that bottle back, please?
>She pauses, thinking
"Uh, bartender? That might actually work, you can disguise as a human and all, and you know alcohol more than me probably..."

(Anna's player is having a family emergency)

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>>10850574
>He hands the wine back
"Yeah I know my way around a bottle and the disguising will work fine so long as nobody gets uppity and throws or splashes something at me heh."

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>>10850574
>Looking at the bottles with want
"can I have some?"

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>>10850549
>The sound of Morty cackling can likely be heard throughout the town

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>>10850610
"If you got a drink thrown at you intentionally then you're doing your job wrong."
>She pours herself another glass and sips from it.

>>10850705
"...Sure, why not."
>She pours the last of the bottle into a new cup for Light

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>>10850900
"Haha you must not have seen many drunks in your day, you can be their friend all night long and tell them they've had too much and suddenly you're their worst enemy."

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>>10850900
>Happy yapping
>Lap it up
>Light is still a pretty light drinker
>Attempting to tap tap taaaaaaaaap on the pokedex
"weeeeeee"

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>>10850945
"Fair enough, I probably wouldn't want to stop drinking either."
>Sipppp

>>10850958
"Like it?"

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>>10851024
"YES"
>It seems Light kept the caps lock on

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>>10851024
"Yeah he really enjoyed the stuff I gave him last time."

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>>10851189
"Good to hear."

>>10851207
"What did he have?"

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>>10851256
"Some fine single malt whisky you had in your pantry."

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>>10851288
"Oh that's why that was open when I woke up that day. Okay, just let me know next time, wanna keep track of what we have."
>Sip
>Pass out

Hey /par/ what's a good pokemon to pick up for the 6th gym in hoenn.

>>10851684
a gun

>>10851728
ok

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>>10851681
"Heheh goodnight then I guess."
>Lets assume Ricky drank the rest of the bottle himself and eventually passed out on the couch in the same spot he woke up in

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>>10851812
>Flop asleep

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>>10851733
its a guzma approved strategy

>>10851684
Lisa and Tate are pushovers,, just get a dark type and clean house. Sableeye does double well since it's immune to their fighting coverage moves too.

>>10844302
What's going on in this picture? Are those people getting brainslugged? Is there a pokemon that does that now?

>>10851684
Dark types are the best. for every gym. get like 2 or 3 of them on your team.

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The human trapped in a Ratatta' body groans as he wakes up after being scared half to death by a giant fucking metal lion appearing out of nowhere.

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>>10844302
Some are a bit mean, but most of us are quite nice, some of the nice ones are a bit mischievous
I am the sweetest one

>>10853445
"Where the fuck did everyone go?"

>>10852805
yes

>>10853445
>>10853502
(Sorry anon, most people are asleep right now. Give it a few more hours.)

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>>10853445
>poke

i wonder if jiji is finally going to leave

>>10844302
I thought this thumbnail was Sargon of Akkad.

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Good morning, /par/.
I have a question: how do you deal with your fears and anxiety?

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>>10855642
Drink.

>>10855763
fuck off cancer
fuck off before jiji leaves

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>>10855642
i just fly around and look at the sky

>>10855810
i really want to leave too

they made a fucking club to get away from bones
em gets pity characters for serena because all he does is bitch and moan
jiji is going to fucking leave eventually because all of this shit
we need to get our shit under control
yell at me whatever ignore my message

have fun when jijis gone

>>10856400
being a deceptive cunt doesn't make the situation any better, if you actually want things to get better then fucking stop doing this shit

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>>10855763
Possibly.
>>10855829
That sounds exhilarating.

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>>10856602
It works for me.

>>10856400
(Real talk if you've got a problem then stop shitposting and hiding behind anonposting and fucking communicate, we're trying to fix shit, but we can't because you and others like you do nothing but shitpost and weaken any actual points you have.)

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>>10856602
it is, maybe i can take you for a fly if you want, you just have to hold tight

>>10856563
im trying not to
>>10856752
talking like this is why all of us are scared a eachother
this thread isnt fun when i feel like im going to end up the nexct hb if i so much as show a bit of doubt in you jiji or skitts or ray or sb or anyone on the old mod crew
it isnt fun

>>10856844
(I just want a name to the argument anon, for real, IMO there can't be an open dialogue if only half the party is anonymous, and it's kinda too late for everyone to be Anon.)

>>10856752
Stop being so aggro its no wonder no one fesses up

>>10856844
talk to us then instead of hiding as anon
you know what else isn't fun?
having someone who you think is fine with everything complain about specific people instead of talking to them directly
dm them if you have to, just stop doing this
sorry about my first reply, I panicked and that turned into anger, if you really want to talk I won't be a shit

>>10856932
(Fuck, sorry. I'm lumping anons together and that's probably exactly what the shitposter wants and fuck me I guess.)
(Can we just talk, for real, no bullshit, no one hiding or lying to make people happy, just, straight talk, here or in discord, so we can work out what the problems are and how to fix them?)

>>10856844
(Skitts here, dunno if you're in the Discord or not so I'll just repeat what I said there here - I don't care if you doubt me or bla bla as long as you're upfront and tell me how you feel. If you're uncomfortable with me I'll leave you alone and continue doing my job, which is... just managing the canon.)
(I can't speak for everyone else, but that's what I'll try to do.)
(But like >>10857003 said, having someone you think is a friend secretly complain on anon is a bad feel. Just.... tell us so we can fix the shit.)

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Alrighty guys I'm back and not dead. yet. I am really lost though and have no idea where i am.... What day is it? Man i've had a terrible time.

uh if i have to make any fucking complaints its mainly
1 everyone is already in a group now
2 said groups are either way too easy see: sun or impossible to get into see: nerds, mal, serena, probably some others
3 idk man i just want to have fun
4 im kinda losing interest in this thread because everything feels really scripted, like serena comes on and everyone drops playing one character to play the one with her and im like "ok ill go die"

>>10857362
(i'm not in a group thou)

>>10856400
(Okay since you aren't replying to us let me try to address your points:
>they made a club to get away from bones
A lot of us honestly feel that Bones has been the shitposter hiding in the discord the entire time and didn't like him owning the server, so yes, we split. If Bones owns up or we're wrong and the actual person shitposting is revealed then we'll figure out that drama asap, but until then we don't really know what to do about "HB".
>Em bitches and moans and gets pity characters
I actually agree with this and I'm Emrys, but everyone else keeps assuring me I'm not bitching just advertising Serena's team more than usual and to not do that so much next time, so I guess that's the best I can do about it?
>Jiji is going to leave
I know he's expressed this before, so have I, but I don't think it will happen until PAR is well and truly dead. Quite frankly I at least have grown dependant on this group for a lot of things and know I can't leave for real.

And the other stuff is more of the same last point.
There, I tried my best to communicate, now it's on you dude)

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>>10857346
It is the five of August, a meteorite might fall on us on six days and I recommend you to walk in a straight line until you find civilization.

>>10857362
(1 That doesn't stop playing individual chars, or making more groups)
(2 Nothing wrong with chars that are really easy to interact to, and you can always make new chars if you want in a particular group)
(3 Same)
(4 Feels more like "this character is active now, I can now play as this other character in their vicinity but thats just me who tends to be more reactive)

>>10857362
(There are still plenty of characters not in groups out of mine alone, but that one can be solved by people making more characters that aren't already involved or by having characters be more flexible in who they hang around.)
(I made Sun easy to interact with and hang around because people seemed to like doing so and I didn't want to make it a hassle. But, I'd like to see your view on what a middle ground group would be.)
(No one is stopping you from having fun? Bring up some of the things you would like to do more of, the things that interest you.)
(I'll admit that's a problem. I can post more when Serena does to give more interaction choices, if you think that'll help?)

>>10857362
(And then I did the reply meme.
Okay let's do this again.

>1 everyone is already in a group now
I've been trying to introduce new characters that don't have set groups, that was the goal with Eros, and I'll keep trying to do that, hopefully others will do the same and there will be more options.

>2 said groups are either way too easy see: sun or impossible to get into see: nerds, mal, serena, probably some others
I don't really know what to do about this, everyone has different numbers for character interactions they can handle at a time, and I have an issue where I like to have the characters already with mine, like a trainer's team, filled out first, I can try to open them up more, though?

>3 idk man i just want to have fun
That goes for everyone, I think? We're all just broken motherfuckers trying to have fun and then stupid drama and communication issues get in the way.

>4 im kinda losing interest in this thread because everything feels really scripted, like serena comes on and everyone drops playing one character to play the one with her and im like "ok ill go die"
Juggling characters is hard, I'll admit that, but I don't think anyone got dropped for Serena? Uh, besides some of my other characters that is, but I want to boot all my characters down flights of stairs anyways so uhhhh... correlation not causation?

That's the best I can do man, keep talking, maybe others have input and we can make this place fun again for everyone.)

>>10856752
Heya!
Um, do you know where I can get some TMs?
I'm going to head out and train with the team soon, I don't want them to get blasted too badly by Clemont again!

>>10857026
( I'll start: somebody told me that me playing three characters in the same area was excessive. I kinda agree, and as a compromise I'm not using more than one of them at once. )
( I'd like to get characters that aren't pre-grouped up rolling, and have an anon-character or two, but I understand how it's difficult. I tried to make Anna a character who can bounce around from place to place, it's jsut that IC her motivations and needs have her with Serena.)

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>>10857666
( Fuck. Satantrips, and I forget my pic. Can I still get a thing for dem trips?)

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>>10857666
Should be a few stores around Lumiose, check in the plaza around the gym?

(Talking about problems burns me out holy fuck, gimme a bit to recharge and try to address more issues)

Also I guess uh, the person playing Serena feels more like they belong in ERP. That or they're a fucking horny 12 year old.
I was gonna join that group but when they ooc kept begging for dick that turned me off of ever interacting with this Serena.
Like, I didn't know anyone could fuckher up worse. This isnt ERP.

>>10858357
(Horny 18 year old, but you're right, it was bad on my part and I'm trying to reel it in and move the character away from sex over time, if enough people wanted I'd be okay dropping the character, but everyone in the Discord keeps telling me it's fine so I don't know what to think or do other than what I'm trying now.)

>>10854285
HOLY! GEEZ! Don't just sneak up on a guy like that!

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>>10857522
Walking in a straight line seems like a good way to get eaten. I'm in the middle of nowhere and idk how i got here. Luckily i have phone service. I'm super thirsty...

>>10858439
(Like I was gonna join but you OOC basically acting like that one anon owing you a three way or whatever turned me the fuck away.)

>>10858783
(Oh this was as recently as last night? Fuuuuuuuuck, yeah, okay, that makes sense. I don't really know what I can do to fix my OOC behavior other than attempting to find other outlets for my hyper-sexualized behavior, which I'm working on. IC Serena is more focused on getting the bar up and running at this point, and still petitioning the government to legalize brothels is a side-thing now.)

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>>10858761
Do you have a working GPS? Any carried or location of the closest tower from the phone service?

>>10858783
(OOC things stay in OOC)