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/cyoag/ - CYOA General

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Thread replies: 583
Thread images: 151

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Previous thread: >>53210169
Archives and other resources: http://pastebin.com/vrqYhnpu


I think you are allowed to pick as many choices as you want, as long as you pick at least one from both columns.

"God sucks" edgy atheist edition.
>>
>>53218949
>EVERYONE:
>Immortality
Is this God or fucking monkey pawn? Holy shit picking this will make you history's greatest monster. People dying sucks and I don't agree that life needs to end for it have purpose but there actually are some very good reasons why you might want to die.
First of all, aging is frozen, no set to some ideal age, which will kinda suck a fucking lot to anyone old or young.
Second, it's great that God specifies that people can suffer and not die when malnutrion and lack of clean water is massive problem around the world. Pick this and guarantee that even the mercy of death is denied to them. Also if someone decides to nuke this planet, we will all starve endlessly.
Third, personal Immortality says "you won't get sick", whereas this only says "diseases will no longer be able to kill a human". So people can still get sick, they just can't die from it. So anyone getting AIDs and Ebola will be converted into eternally screaming lump of flesh that sprays blood all around. Refugee crisis nothing, what will emerge across the Mediterranean Sea will make Dead Space look like romantic comedy.
Also nothing about population control so eventually outmost parts of the humanity pile will be able to colonize stars. And I don't mean the planets orbiting those stars, altho those will be colonized too. I mean the actual stars. Literally. All will be colonized by the ever expanding lump of humanity. Unless of course the fetus counts as person. At least we'll get answer to that question. Hopefully if this is the case, it will be early in the development, might get awkward otherwise. Is abortion murder if the fetus is immortal or if it's performed before God considers it person enough for immortality?


>Love
I honestly don't see why you wouldn't pick this. It doesn't even come with "this doesn't apply to you" drawback. I guess if you want everyone to die alone and unloved, you can skip this, in which case, hi fellow Finn.
>>
>>53218972
>Beauty
Standards of beauty have repeatadly shifted over time. No idea if this will keep upgrading people as they shift again. Whatever. Again, there's very little reason to not pick this. I feel like this and Love should maybe be choice between them and the angel waifu and Mirror. But there's no mention of it at the top and the rows don't match anyway. Whateveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

>THREE WORLD CHOICES
I don't know what happens if you pick Advancement and Magic Adventure. Maybe space ships, maybe magitech. I don't care. Do what feels good. I'm gonna say tho that suddenly sending world into medieval stage either puts a lot people into position where they must switch from IT work to subsistence farming, which will probably kill a people, or change their skills, memories and possibly personalities to fit their new life, which could be argued to be a kind of murder. Unless the new wizard working is exactly like IT work, in which case you just replaced tech with magic and nothing changed. Good news however is that God really doesn't give a shit so who cares. I mean, he did offer the fucking Immortality. Maybe you'll get to bang a monstergirl. Except there's no charmisma upgrade so probably not.

>PERSONAL:
>Immortality
It's the good kind of immortality, kinda. No damage resistance, healing or pain immunity. Try to not get hurt.

>Malakhim
Angel waifu servant with big titties. Might have some kind of submission fetish. Even if you aren't into it, you get a free maid and if you don't pick her, she will be stuck in Heaven while God fucks off to bother the wizard, so maybe consider helping her escape.

>Mirror, Mirror
Guess God is just giving you shapeshifting powers because that will I don't fucking know, what the fuck God?

>Protagonist
Mirror can turn you into anime chick and now you can live anime too. Congrats, the struggle is over, anime is real.

>Multiplayer
Much like in video games, this is here to excuse the weak single player content.
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>>53218949
Can we dedicate this thread to sad feline related cyoas?
>>
>>53218949
Did you forget this, or did you not have it?
Or were you just about to post it and I got around to it just a little bit quicker than you (again)?
>>
>>53218993
We need more sad CYOAs in general. This place needs to be as depressed as I am.
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>>53218993
No. We'll have happy cats.
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>>53218993
Do you want me to make a depressing pet CYOA?
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>>53218995

The mandatory. I'm not sure why this is even a thing with the Mirror. I'm honestly not sure what's even going on with this CYOA. It feels like it's some half finished WIP do not steal but the Drive had several version and layout looks finished.

Let's see what Satan has to offer.
>>
>>53219046
>>53219072
>I'm not sure why this is even a thing with the Mirror.
Because people kept asking for it, IIRC.
>>
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>>53219072
In suprise twist, Satan's offers aren't nowhere near as bad as the humanity lump, what the fuck God?
>>
>>53219046
It's old as balls. Most CYOAs from when it was made would amount to quickly-forgotten shitposts now.
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>>53219035
Happy you say?
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I DON'T SEE ENOUGH BOYS' LOVE
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>>53219159
>>>/y/
>>
Another torched thread
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I'm posting this in hopes tha- Hope is firs step on road to disappointment. Whatever.
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>>53218995
>Be the little girl
>Cuteness overload
>Sweets
>Sporty
>Magical girl

Time to punish evil with the justice of fire!
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>>53219242
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>>53219242
You should never lose hope.
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>>53219260
>>
>cyoa offers you immortality for no reason
>stop reading and start shitposting
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>>53219279
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>>53219284
>cyoa offers you perfect immortality
>without letting you change your appearance
>>
>>53219304
>>
I'm trying to murder all shitposters with my mind powers. If any of you suddenly see a bright light appearing, please walk into it.

>>53219324
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Give me some magical hobo related item ideas.
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>>53219345
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>>53219353

>disregard hobos
>acquire husbandos
>>
>spend one hour trying to balance numbers for a category
>keep upping the numbers into absurdity to get enough granularity
>forgot to link two columns.

Shoot me now.
>>
>>53219371
>>
>>53219353
Bag of Holding
Magical papers that always give the user credentials to be in an area
Ring of social invisibility
Sleeping bag of protection from elements.
Flute of animal charming
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>>53219258
You forgot to list your choices for the first page: >>53218949
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>>53219398
>>
>>53219353
A can of soup you can't open properly, but unless someone does, it'll give you a meal's worth of tomato soup a day.
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>>53219390
>link columns.
Sorry what do you mean by this? I'm trying to balance my own one.
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>>53219308
But >>53218949 lets you pick both?
>>
WORM 5 Update Version
I heard you were making it.
Is there a WIP?
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>>53219353
Unnagrounds hobo civilisation.
>>
>>53219436

>>53219427
I didn't make any because free will is an illusion and none of our choices matter.

Also someone else posted the box and I messed up my posts because I had to edit it on fly and decided to post the satan cyoa.
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>>53219493
>>
>>53219098
wtf jesus, I just wanted to be on your side
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>>53219512
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>>53219528
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>>53219098
So this is basically "It's such a beautiful day" the cyoa option.
>>
>>53219531
>>
>>53219448
I used an openoffice calc sheet to calculate possible combinations of interacting choices because I didn't want things to vary too much.

I had a bunch of static data and then lots of cells with possible mechanics. To make the changing of the mechanics easier I duplicated some of the static entries. But when edited the data I forgot to edit the duplicate too and some of the cells were still pointing at those.

The affected cells had a mechnic in them that actually supported the error, so I didn't notice.
>>
>>53219459
I'll probably finish it tomorrow or the day after that. There is no need for a WIP.
>>
>>53219579
>>
>>53219427
I didn't even notice they were connected. I don't like any of the choices that affect everyone, but I'll take Love because it seems the least negative. I'll take Mirror, mirror for myself so I can get a penis for banging the waifu.
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>>53219596
>>
>>53219608
>>
>>53219631
>>
>>53219647
>>
>>53219675
>>
>>
>>53219724
>>
>>53219744
>>
>>53219744
>>
ENOUGH WITH THE WAIFUS
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>>53219779
>le pretend to be against waifus to get more waifus trick

I'm a professional. You can't fool me, old man.
>>
>>53219777
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>>53219779
Yes, we need more husbandos.
>>
>>53219779
>>>53219531
Tell me about it. How fucking long is this shit?
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>>53219830
>>
>>53219353
Bindle Bundle: Has any normal hand held gear a hobo could need when tapped and unfolded. Things like matches, smokes, fishing rod, water purifier etc..

Magnificent Mulligan: Everfull stew, tastes better the more other hobos contribute to it.

Suave Top Hat: When worn gives you the gift of gab. Able to talk people into doing mostly reasonable things. Has a subtle aura of trust and charisma.

Briquette Banjo: Small shovel that lights a fire on command or gives off heat.

California Blanket: Magical old newspaper section that will stave off bad weather and make any surface comfortable to sleep on.

Maeve Medallion: Turns you into the little girl hobo.

7 League Loafers: Worn shoe insert that lets you travel 21 miles with a few steps.
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>>53219849
I wonder why it's so fucking shit.
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>>53219851

>>53219849
29 pages. Not too bad. Someone posted The Order couple threads ago, that one is about 45.
>>
>>53219849
It never ends Anon, this thing is gonna kill us all.
>>
>>53219849
26 pages
>>
>>53219879
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>this thread
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>>53219879
See, with this much content we really would need a website/program for display to save space.

Who even has the patience/time to upload such a mege cyoa?
>>
>>53219875
>>53219419
>>53219442

I might be using all of this, thank you for your contribution.
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>>53219353
A magical locket that you can store money in. People who find it instead of seeing the money will see a picture of you and a made-up family member like a daughter that invokes a feeling of sympathy and compels them to return it to you.
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>>53219977
>>
1/5
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>>53220001
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>>53219916
Who, indeed.
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>>53220019
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>>53220018
2/5
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>>53220038
>>
>>53220040
3/5
>>
>>53219767
Also, someone started posting pages in the middle of me posting them and now apparently deleted one of them?
I mean, it's nice since the order doesn't matter so much for this but I was near the end anyway.
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>>53220063
>>
>>53219926
Broken Timepiece: Lets you rewind time by 15 minutes, without affecting yourself if you desire. Enjoy that meal a second time.

Cowardly Compass: points north regardless of magnetic fields. On command points to the safest way out of any situation/area you're in.

Rusty Pocketknife. Lets you carve hobo nickles or wood into masterful items/art for sale/trade to others
>>
>>53220066
4/5
>>
>>53219977
Posting the new info collections since the new CYOA was posted.

>>53220040
No, that's the 5th page. Pages 2, 3, and 4 are companions.
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>>53220109
for some reason in the drive it had it as 2, so I went with it
>>53220103
5/5
>>
>>53220109
>new CYOA
Meant "newer version of the CYOA", as opposed to the older one.
>>
>>53219242
The issue with this one is that you choose one waifu and then the options that waifu presents are usually a mix of good and stupid so it feels like any other decision is made for you.

That and given its a waifu CYOA over 20 something pages long I can't help but feel that maybe the waifus could have used more than one character trait each.
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for fuck sake stop posting 30 pages long CYOA, there should be a max page authorized like 10 or 5 because fuck. Ways too much waifu CYOA too and the waifus are all little girl, it doesnt fucking interests me i want WOMAN with EXPERIENCE and not happy or cute that will suck you the first time you meet her

also this "being a little girl" meme
this break the CYOA
>>
>>53220244
Relax, Italics, no need to be so mad.
>>
>>53220244
end of rine
>>
>>53220244
You couldn't make it more obvious that you're trying to stuff as many disliked opinions as possible into your post to trigger a response.
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>>53220244
>>
>>53219261
SHSL Hope Dope!
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>>53220244
I know you're a shitpost, which terrifies me as I agree with everything you said.
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>>53219261
>>53220406
SHSL CYOA when?
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>>53220407
Indeed. It is good for a waifu to have sampled as many dicks as possible to gain experience for pleasing me.
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>>53219459
>wanting WiP's
Disgusting
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>>53219261
HOPE IS AN ILLUSION
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>>53220376
Except everything he is saying is correct.
As much as I love beri's work he makes shit waifus, and 30 pages of bland waifu shit is too much
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>>53220515
Post CYOA you like instead of whining about people posting CYOA they like.
>>
>>53220515
I agree, Beri's writing is generally shit and uses this cutesy aesthetic in a horrible way. There really aren't any CYOAs with good writing though.
>>
>>53220515
>>53220534
>CYOA author is well-liked and responsive.
>Shit on him out of jealousy and spite.
Reminds me of how anther author has been treated lately.
>>
>>53220527
I do. Besides your complaining about my complaints are just as useless
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>>53220552
>I do
Do so right now.
>>
>>53220549
>Any complaint is invalid because the author is popular
As I said though, I do actually like him, but he makes uninteresting bland character with one note personality. The fairy one was the worst because all their personalities were just basic manifestations of their powers.
>>
>>53220569
>I like him but I hate everything he makes.
Though like I pointed out, you're the anti-DSA guy with a new target.
>>
>>53220528
>>53220561
>being so obsessed with your fetish that you see it in everything.
>>
>>53220549
I'm not shitting on Beri, he's a good guy and all that. His writing is shit and it hasn't improved even a smidgeon in all the cyoa he makes. This isn't comparable to the DSA shitposting because that's just one dude with autism.
>>
>>53220557
You first.
>>53220586
No I'm not. And he does more than make characters. Is really so hard to accept that people have issues with authors you like?
>>
>>53220596
Tell us you have autism won't change anything, anon. We know it's you.

>>53220608
Stop shitposting to try and drive authors out because they don't make content you like.
>>
>>53220621
I'm not. Stop assuming I am. People can dislike things people do without wanting to get rid ot them. Your autistic whiny sounds more like anti-DSA than anyone else here. Grow up, people can have different opinions than you
>>
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Mox is objectively best, unless you are furry brony, then feel free to pick Nero
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>>53220651
>I'm not.
>Unsolicited shitposting and bitching about an author you know is sensitive to that kind of shit.
>Not trying to drive him out.
>>
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>>53220663
It's the best! Beats the rest!
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>>53220528
How anyone reaches that conclusion is beyond me.
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>>53220663
Purest love.
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>>53220663
Hey, I never said anything about incest. I just said it's stupid to raise your daughter in a way that doesn't leave her cold and hateful of the everything in the world other than you.

I believe that my desire for a slightly broken human being to practically worship me as the only thing good in life is born out of the twisting of some desire for unconditional love directed at me and me alone.
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>>53220671
This isn't a safespace anon, I'm sure Beri is adult enough to accept a tiny bit of criticism.As I said anyway I like his stuff for the most part, but he has issues with writing characters.
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>>53220665
>not wanting Nero to turn you into a tentacle monster so you can ram it in her in all holes at once.
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>>53220696
Is it still morally reprehensible if you want to be the shota?
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>>53220708
And I just think his writing is shit. Like nigger pick up a fucking book and read jesus christ your sentence structure is so predictable it hurts.

Also is Beri american or is english not his first language? I need to know how incredulous I should feel.
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>>53220719
Is it wrong that I want to rub my cunny all over Sensei?
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>>53220364
..............................RINE ENDS HERE
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>>53220708
It's not, but that doesn't keep you from being a jackass for trying to get rid of people.
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>>53220665
> not Chalice

Chalice best girl.
>>
>>53220750
I'm not anon, I'm stating my opinions. I'm not anti-DSA guy, I'm not anti SDA, I'm not even anti-Angel, I even care her some suggestions and told her what I liked about some of her stuff. I want beri to stay, but I also want him to improve, if he so wishes, as a writer, and that will never happen if you make it so no one can point out issues.
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>>53220707
>That spoiler
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>>53220665
Nero is amazing. Who made this glorious CYOA?
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>>53220696
The only kind of incest I tolerate is shotadom involving shota x older guy.

Oddly, it never features in cyoas.
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>>53220778
Yes, your wonderful issues of 'I hate waifus CYOAs so stop making them'
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>>53220784
Italics "If you don't like NTR I'll drive you over with my car"
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>>53220790
Or at least make them with more depth at least?
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>>53220665
>implying
Chalice is the best
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>>53220818
The issue is that you're not providing criticism. You're whining about your taste.
>>
The only thing I dislike about Beri is that he has this tendency to interconnect his cyoas.

He sounds pretty cute too. I imagine him as a cute boy with long hair and a small flaccid cock he's shy about.
>>
>>53220868
I like basically all his stuff. I think his character writing is cute too, especially since I don't mind some cutesy themes from time to time. I can understand how some people might prefer a dark and gritty tone instead, but when they whine about things with an obvious ulterior motive they're just being shitheads.
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>>53220868
The only thing I dislike from him is the fact that he uses the same font in every CYOA.

>He sounds pretty cute too.
I'm gonna stop reading there.
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>>53220897
Don't lie. You read it and you like that image of Beri.
>>
>>53220778
>I want beri to stay, but I also want him to improve, if he so wishes, as a writer, and that will never happen if you make it so no one can point out issues.
Been meaning to ask this, but could you perchance give some more detailed examples of what part of his writing is poor, and how something sufficiently similar might've been handled by someone who sucks less at writing? As an uncultured swine (self-deprecating humor or somesuch, not hostile sarcasm) I'm honestly curious about it at this point. Plus I'd think that a detailed "here's what sucks, here's how it could be done better" would produce better (or quicker, or whatever) results regarding the whole "let's get Beri to write more good" thing.

>>53220897
>The only thing I dislike from him is the fact that he uses the same font in every CYOA.
And the one(?) time he tried to use something different, he got backlash for the font being unreadable. IIRC, he's accepting suggestions, though.
>>
>>53220897
>The only thing I dislike from him is the fact that he uses the same font in every CYOA
This. I wouldn't mind it if it was a good font.
>>
>>53220868
>picturing beri as anything other than a goo girl
You're doing it wrong.
>>
>>53220783
I don't need your hugs.

I will make my own.

I will make my own and they will be mine.
>>
>>53220921
>he's accepting suggestions
I told him that he has plenty to work with even if he hasn't gone scouting for different font styles. I prefer regular fonts over the one he uses regularly.

Maybe not Times New Roman. I don't know why but I just don't like that font. Arial is cool, though.
>>
>>53220946
I'll compromise.
>>
If I'm doing elemental powers, what should fire be associated with besides just throwing it at people or lighting candles?
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>>53220985
Passion.
Life.
Loss.
Warmth.
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>>53220985
Your question is kinda vague.
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>>53220985
igniting the flame in our hearts
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>>53220985
''Read'' Ashes to look in to the past of the burnt thing
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>>53221006
But you have no heart?
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>>53221004
Yeah, that's why I had trouble answering it.

>>53221003
>>53221006
Less direct than what I've got for the other elements, but I suppose that's something I can work with.

>>53221023
Nice, thanks.
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>>53221070
>>
>>53220825
Do you like the waifus he writes? Like do you honestly feel yourself immersed reading the fifth hundred girl whose description goes "WHOOPSIE I'M SUCH A KLUTZ HEHEHE I LIKE LOLLIPOPS AND RAINBOWS AND HAVE CANDY POWERS AND HERE'S THREE ADJECTIVES THAT DESCRIBE ME" because that's just about every one of his girls and his style rarely changes.

Anon, it's bad writing, he can afford to get much better and stop trying to express emotion via egregious overuse of exclamation and question marks.
>>
>>53220959
SDA, is there an estimation of time of release from the steampunk waifu mentor CYOA?

I'm having to study something boring and that I don't intend to use for some time, the only thought to motivate me to study it besides passing the course is "maybe one day I will have to teach it to someone".

I was thinking maybe with luck such CYOA could make me less miserable.
>>
>>53221010
Why is Bio Chem labeled Org. Chem
>>
>>53221084
Also fuck whoever reported me for saying I don't like Beri's writing. Criticism of an author is not off-topic anymore than this entire thread is. You're a big boy and you can afford to get insulted without crying to a moderator.
>>
>>53221101
It's orgasmic chemisty.
>>
>>53221084
>WHOOPSIE I'M SUCH A KLUTZ HEHEHE I LIKE LOLLIPOPS AND RAINBOWS AND HAVE CANDY POWERS

That's kawaii. You should make a CYOA.
>>
>>53221111
These threads have a problem with thin-skinned poofs tattling to the hot pockets.
>>
>>53220921
One of my biggest issues with him is characters. I think the issue is he tends to pick a single trait and go from there for the entirety of that person, and he doesn't really leave the impression that there's more to them either. I think the worst was the fairy one because their personalities were more reflections of their powers than anything else, The girl who could make potions liked to drink, the one who could make chocolate likes sweet things, ect. It doesn't help him that he has characters explain themselves in person, which to be fair was an issue of style gimping him. It would have been better if the brown fairy explained her friends so she could give more personal information without it coming off completely stilted.

Another issue is his sentence phrasing and word choice, he often uses the same structure constantly, so it feels like every entry is the same. Try to mix things up. Try to give me impressions of things from time to time to, give me a sense of the texture of a scene.

I hope that wasn't too vague or useless, and I really hope Beri doesn't take any of this personally, he's really one of my favorite authors desu
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>>53221145
True.
>>
>>53220985
Stars, both in their current form and as the nebulae that they become.
>>
>>53220985
Healing (Such as fevers and cauterizing)
Change
Ending
Nullification
>>
>>53221153
>I hope that wasn't too vague or useless
Apologies, but in addition to being an uncultured swine, I'm also autistic to some degree. What I was trying to ask for were concrete examples, like an excerpt of his not-so-good writing, pointing out what's wrong in there, and showing a similar (in function) excerpt that is written better, and pointing out how the problems you pointed in the first aren't in the second.
>>
>>53221145
>These threads have problems with brain damaged shitposters staining every thread with their posts.

FTFY
>>
>>53221153
>I really hope Beri doesn't take any of this personally
Well other than the post talking about a "small flaccid cock" I think she'll live.

She has a great supportive group anyway. We hold game nights.
>>
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>>53221217
Your opinion pleases me.
>>
>>53221232
>small flaccid cock
>she
>game night

explain.
>>
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smoke some trees
>>
>>53221232
In my defense, the cute small flaccid cock thing was a compliment. It makes him extra cute.
>>
>>53221217
That has nothing to do with what I said. I have no problem with legitimately disruptive posts being deleted.
>>
>>53219590
Tomorrow?? Oh praise god
>>
>>53221314
If you make the people around you feel bad then you're being disruptive and I have no sympathy for you.
>>
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>>53220621
Stop being a retard. Sounds like the autistic guy made you paranoid, but no one is blindly shitting on Beri for delusional reasons, it's just normal critique. They aren't even being cruel about it.
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>>53221249
>Tree: Redwood
>Perks: Wood Wizardry III [2], Defender II [0], Seedling II [-2]
>Drawbacks: Leashed [-1], Lumberjack [0]

Maybe I should just live inside the tree. That would be best.
>>
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This is still WIP, but I'm opening it up now to see what kind of powers y'all would like to see.
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>>53221214
>Concrete examples
Okay, I'll do my best.
Take Clea from the fairy one. In around 100 all I know about her is her power, and that she's kind too the point of being almost a non-being, It kinda comes off like she's a trait rather than a person, which to be fair, it's hard to make people seem real in few words, but you can give a false impression of depth. Also there's no implications, she pretty much just tells you who she is, in the end she might as well have said "I'm really nice and have and spineless" and you would have learned as much and it would have felt the same. Who says things like "I think I don't have an aggressive streak or mean bone in my body" it feels very artificial. I feel like there could have been a way to imply passiveness without directly pointing it out.
It would also be nice to see some conflict in personality, people have traits that are opposed to each other. Trying to capture that makes characters seem deeper, even if it's a cheap fake trick.

For example from her, maybe she's overly kind, but she has a selfish streak that's she embarrassed to admit. I guess anything to add more character.
>>
>>53221084
>How DARE you like things I hate!
>>
>>53221118
Kawaii isn't a personality. And even if it was it shouldn't be the only personality.
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>>53221585
Why not make a waifu CYOA where they're all dark and edgy like your soul?
>>
>>53221153
You still keep spouting that bullshit about liking him despite hating everything he writes.
>>
>>53221490
I'm not seeing a shapeshifting power, so I'd like to see that.
Would also like to see a more fluid alternative to the "harder substance" thing.
>>
>>53221545
>Implications
I see you like those CYOAs that imply something shitty is happening behind your back. Bet Waifu Surprise is your favorite waifu CYOA.
>>
>>53221627
>He only writes waifus
His adventure one, sans the fairies was really nice. His summoner one worked too, as it wasn't character focused. The portrait ones are always fun quick little ones, and I like seeing what he does with random pictures.
>>
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>>53221545
>Putting up with selfish bitches.
Never make a waifu CYOA. You'd be shit at it.
>>
>>53221670
Wow you named two of the myriad of things he's done.
>>
>>53221627
That's not him, that's me, because you're not arguing against one person. And I do hate everything he writes, it's bad and hamfisted and leaves me feeling like I'm grading middle school story essays.

>>53221607
Why can't he make a CYOA where the characters don't feel like cardboard cutouts with three voice lines? Are the only options shit and edgy shit? Do we have to praise him just because he's a nice guy and he caters to your fetishes?

>>53221577
Go ahead and like it. I'll go ahead and not like it, see how that works?
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>>53221657
I don't think you know what implications means. It means implying things, for instance instead of telling me she's nice, show me. The old saying "Show don't tell" exists for a reason

>>53221671
>Women can't have any flaws, even if they're minor and they work against them,
I said she was selfish, not would sell you at a moments notice, and I even said it wasn't something she was proud of. And a certain level of selfishness is normal and healthy.
>>
>>53221545
>Okay, I'll do my best.
Much better. Now if you'd just provide the other example, i.e. the more well-written but functionally similar excerpt (which in this case would probably be a concise character introduction of some sort).
>>
>>53221651
Fluid alternative seems good. That plus the chameleon thing should cover your shapeshifing needs, no?
>>
>>53221545
I'm sorry you didn't care for that one much. But I do feel as if I should at least explain that CYOA a bit. It's something of a special case. You mentioned not liking interconnected elements, so I doubt this changes or opinion of it any. In any case, as opposed to the titans that prize order, honor, and hard work, I had the fairies to be more individualistic, playful, and mischievous. In going with their theme, I wanted their powers to all be an extension of their personality. Their personality wasn't a reflection of their ability. Their ability was a reflection of their personality.
I can't really reply to your claim that they're all samey any farther than maybe posting a few counter-examples from Soul Witch or Branching Heart. I'll stay quiet about your more general comments about my writing as I can't come up with anything that doesn't sound horribly depressing.
>>
>>53221687
Nobody wants to force you to like anything. They just don't care about your shitty opinions at all and would rather you keep them to yourself.
>>
>>53221721
>Being selfish
>Minor
Never dated I take it. Selfish people are insufferable pieces of shit that you can't live with.
>>
>>53221657
>Implications means she's plotting to destroy you.

No you stupid cunt, an implication mean that someone who introduces themselves has a bias and you can read further into what they're saying taking that into consideration in order to treat them as a more complex character.

>>53221744
If somebody posts a shitty CYOA I feel it's alright to criticize it. You're free to hide my posts since that is your right.
>>
>>53221721
If you love flaws so much, why not just wank to Harem Master and Waifu Surprise? Seriously. That kind of garbage with 'surprises' 'hidden implications' and 'deep flaws' will fit you perfectly.
>>
>>53221721
If a woman's not proud of eating dog shit, doesn't mean she doesn't still do it.
>>
>>53221766
Yes anon, everyone loves surprises and hidden implications in their waifu CYOA! That always works out well and doesn't piss everyone off at all!
>>
>>53221755
Anon, literally every functional living being is selfish.

The DESIRE TO SURVIVE is a selfish urge, as someone who is completely selfless would defer their own survival in favor of the first person they ever found in trouble.
>>
>>53221805
>Philosopher fag suddenly pretending he doesn't know what it means to have a selfish personality.
Covering your ass for a bad idea you're not even writing. Oversensitive?
>>
>>53221728
>the chameleon thing
The what now? Didn't notice anything of the sort when going through the pictures.
>>
>>53221739
Dude's just a worthless retard anyway.
>>
>>53221739
I'm not interconnect elements anon
>in going with their theme, I wanted their powers to all be an extension of their personality.
Didn't you do that with soul witch too? I felt they were very similar in the regard. For instance the shota loving witch has shota powers, the tortured witch having murder powers.
>>
>>53221819
>implying I'm the same guy and not just someone fed up with your misuse of the word

Projecting much?
>>
>>53221843
Now he thinks it's a crime for two CYOA to reuse a concept.
>>
>>53221822
Under Skin.
>>
>>53221844
So you want to ignore context.
>>
>>53221853
I didn't say that though. Beri said that it was different than the Witch one?
>>
>>53221843
Yeah, but to a little lesser extent. For instance, the one with mind-control powers mentions originally using cute ribbons as the medium in simulations when she was younger instead of leather (or was it latex?) straps she uses presently that sync with her more dominant personality. And not all of them liked their powers either.
>>
>>53221776
I never said hidden, I said implications. You're putting words in my mouth, please at least argue points I'm making
>>
>>53221859
Ah. In that case the shapeshifting I desire would be more from the "fluid body" than the chameleon skin, as the latter doesn't do jack squat about your actual shape.
>>
>>53221902
An implication is innately something that's not stated. Thus it's something hidden from plain view.
>>
>>53221924
Implications don't have to be dark secrets. Real life people don't tell you who they are, you infer by their actions. Writing actions to show a personality in say a novel is implying that personality
>>
>>53218972
>>53218989
People don't appreciate each other enough in "love" as it is. Give everyone "true love" on a silver platter and they're just gonna spit on it.

Beauty is only really judged by comparison. If everyone is equally beautiful, they are equally plain. Might take a while for that to set in since people will be able to compare to how things used to be, but those memories will fade quickly. For many people there is nothing worse than to be average, and if you can't distinguish yourself by climbing high, exceptionalism exists in both directions. I guarantee people would disfigure themselves just to be exceptional. Also for more selfish reasons, Beauty interferes with Mirror Mirror and your own ability to make yourself exceptionally beautiful.

Malakhim has no direct drawbacks, but she can get in the way of other pursuits. Specifically if you ever tried to have a relationship with a human woman, having the malakhim hanging on all the time even if you weren't sleeping with her or anything would likely spark some jealousy.
>>
>>53221968
An implication is a secret. Nobody wants that shit in their waifu. They don't fucking want a goddamn surprise. That shit always ends poorly for that exact reason, and guess what? Something you think is 'minor' is a complete deal breaker to someone else.

Also, you're a damned idiot if you think a character profile should be a series of actions and not a description of a person. This aint a fucking adventure supplement. Establishing someone through actions, sufficiently and with decent clarity, requires far more words than stating who they are outright. I don't care if you think it's more 'immersive' or 'realistic'. This isn't real life. It's an image. It's a character profile on an image for your imagination game. There's neither the space nor the context for what you want.
>>
>>53218972
>I honestly don't see why you wouldn't pick this.
Fear of overpopulation/resource drain from all the created people?
>>
>>53221843
>I'm not interconnect elements anon
Oh, sorry. I'm half asleep & in the middle of starting a project & catching up on the thread.
>>
>>53222006
I think the essential problem is that he has all these 'great' ideas, but he's never made anything like this before so he doesn't have a clue about how or if they even could be implemented properly.

Chief among his issues is that he thinks you can directly transfer good writing concepts for literature to the CYOA format, while ignoring the differences between the mediums.
>>
Sure is autistic in here.
>>
>>53222032
So nothing changes?
>>
>>53221896
Sure to a lesser extent, though with greater number of words you used in that one I feel you're not really giving me any more depth. I just guess I wish there was a little more dynamics going on. I'm not saying you should write super edgy shit or anything, I just mean people got some depth to them, and some of the depth is things a lot of people consider flaws. I mean I'm sure if you think back to your favorite characters, and hell I may be wrong, they have something that adds that dimension. Maybe a little less cutesy and a little more down to earth, some texture.

I mean only if you really want, because as I've said many times a lot of your work is stuff I actually really appreciate and think is well done, and a lot of people really like all of your stuff. And I would much rather see you do stuff you like and think is cool then conform to my whining. Maybe it's just my obtuse standards, I do literary agent work, so I have to pick flaws by design of my job
>>
>>53222006
>Also, you're a damned idiot if you think a character profile should be a series of actions and not a description of a person.
I was giving an example of the concept of implications. Not how it would be implemented in CYOA
>>
>>53221994
There are objective standards of beauty, and you're nuts if you think men would find women plain if they all became beautiful.
>>
>>53219977

Skill: Cooking
>The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach

Polygamy
Results, now!
> You get a baby! And you get a baby! /Everyone/ gets a baby!

Extra time
> I did say EVERYONE

Secrets
Private good-luck shrine
>I'm going to need some legit divine intervention to pull this off.

Aoi: Perverted
>Perverted enough to help me seduce and impregnate all the other contestants? We can but hope.

Suzuki: Deredere
Yamoshiro: Cousins
Lisa: Friends in kindergarten
Fujiwara: Childhood friend
> Easy-mode wherever I can get it

Maruyama: Poly-lesbian
>May have ways to convince my other wives-to-be to 'get along' with each other better

Kobayashi: Double-reverse-trap
> Only way to fulfil my obligations

Ogawa: Idol
>>
>>53222206
Give it two generations
>>
>>53222200
Post what?
>>
>>53222249
That's not how evolution works, dummy.
>>
>>53221490 >>53221500
So this would be the second or third time you've remade this? Telekinesis, longer lifespan, durability, regeneration, poison generation and delivery.
>>
>>53222397
>this would be the second or third time you've remade this?
No? This would be the second time I've posted a WIP.
>>
NEMESIS IS THE BEST CYOA TO HAVE EVER BEEN DEVISED
>>
>>53222409
Currently on a spare computer so I don't have the file or files to post if there is more than one but there is a CYOA that looks like this one from awhile ago. The option that comes to mind is the one where the orphan who tells you of your powers and you take on the world while running from all the other groups.
>>
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>>53222487
Oh, this one? Yeah this was me, but I wouldn't consider it to really be the same concept.
>>
>>53222380
Not evolution, collective memory. Two generations and you will be dealing with people who have never seen an "ugly" person in their life. Their definition of ugly will be to nitpick the details in what we would have seen as objectively beautiful.
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>tfw there's a huge discussion over your cyoa

Feel pretty good desu.
>>
>>53219531
Someone posted my atomic waifu!
I adore her silly power plant hat, but I'd never ask her to wear it.

>Space Heater
I don't actually need this at all, but I'd love to cuddle up next to her at night...
>Reverb
I don't really want to produce power myself, but I absolutely must take an option that allows me to spend as much time around her as I desire without getting sick. And I do have something of a size fetish, I suppose. I hope she doesn't mind.
>Spectrum Lenses
I don't really need to shoot things with a crossbow and I don't have too many uses for an indestructible shell, so I'll take the lenses. In contact form, because eye surgery is pretty scary.

And of course I'll train you! I don't know anything about fighting, but I'll help you as much as I can.

Oh, Chere...

I have issues.
>>
>>53222516
Women would do that, but I don't see it being much of an issue with men.
>>
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>>53220244
>>
>>53221418
What happens to souls in hell?
>>
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Did somebody say Nemesis?
>>
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>>53222641
>>
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>>53222663
>>
>>53221329
Agreed.
>>
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>>53222677
>>
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>>53222700
>>
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>>53222756
>>
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>>53222641
>>53222663
>>53222677
>>53222700
>>53222756
>>53222771

Go fuck yourself
>>
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>>53222798
>>
>>53222470
No it is not, chiefly because there is no scaling for your own power in relation to who you choose to be the nemesis of.

You start off grossly overpowered no matter what build you go after.
>>
>>53222798
Faggot
>>
>>53222593
>>53219242
Oh, right, the items.

Orb of Life and the Library.

I'd like to have a different career and I'm not interested in being surveilled, so no strings, please.

>>53221994
>People don't appreciate each other enough in "love" as it is. Give everyone "true love" on a silver platter and they're just gonna spit on it.
1) Would you rather live in a world where everyone finds their soulmate or one in which they don't?

2) Do you think anyone from the world in which everyone finds their soulmate would want to move to a world where that's not the case?

3) If your answers to the first two questions are 'yes' and 'no', respectively, why would anyone believe that it's a bad idea to change the world in a way which guarantees that everyone will find their soulmate?

>>53222516
>Not evolution, collective memory. Two generations and you will be dealing with people who have never seen an "ugly" person in their life.
Same argument applies here. Even if you think that everyone will adjust and nothing will change, is there a good reason to refrain from altering the world in a way that makes everyone beautiful, given that most people would prefer the altered world to the one we live in now?
>>
>>53222798
ur a jelly faggot.
>>53222834
But your nemesis is also ambiguous so you can be equally matched.
>>53222831
This is gonna turn into kindergardeners arguing which super hero is tougher isn't it.
>>
>>53222913
Maybe if you stuck an "eventually" on there. Soulmate or not though people are still going to be shit. They are going to cheat, be abusive etc. They are going to piss their perfect chance away. This is especially true if they find that person easily and quickly, because the less effort and hardship and suffering it takes to get there the less they are going to put into not ruining it.

Or maybe you have a different definition here, where this is the person who will magically never cheat on you because they are perfect for you, but then that can only go one way. So unless this soulmate thing involves mind controling people to not be shit then there are going to be a lot of abused waifus out there.
>>
>>53223012
>There is no reason to make everything better for everyone because someone is going to ''piss their perfect chance away'' because people MUST suffer
>>
>>53223041
It's not making it better though. It's making it worse for those who might have found their perfect someone eventually, because they aren't given the chance to learn from their mistakes first. Instead they are thrust directly into their ideal and WHEN they screw it up they are screwed forever.
>>
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I've made an update to Dream of Genie. I hope you still enjoy it.

Changelog
* 4 new Perks, 4 new Pitfalls. Little Sister's ending speech changed to reflect this.
* Clarified mechanics of Bonus Bottle
* Love Potion changed to Loving Heart, Lust Potion changed to Lusty Soul, Houri-related typo fixed.
* Changed Magical Medium and Glass Bottle, and Brass Lamp effects
* Magical Medium has a clearer picture, hopefully
* Psycho Childhood Friend title no longer covers difficulty star
* 6 new Accessories (now recieve 3 free), 6 new Outfits, 6 new Mundane Skills
* Clarified effects of accessories and outfits.
* Clarified mechanics with bolded text.
* Clarified Three Wish Limit in a way that hopefully makes Marid more viable.
* General rebalancing.
* General typos.
* Now in a handy JPG format.
>>
>>53221418
Why no male version of Sorceress? Hot dudes are a thing too.
>>
>>53223084
You know that if you screw up you can fix it right?
>>
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>>53223109
To do:
* Figure out why some dropshadows are not saving and exporting, and why some that do save and export do so at incorrect angles.
>>
>>53223115
Men aren't hot, anon.

They're fat, hairy and stinky
>>
>>53223109
>* General rebalancing.
But what was done specifically?
>>
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>>53223151
I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but this update was supposed to be part of a bigger content update. I've hit a writing snag I don't really know how to fix, so I figured it would be best to put this out since this part is mostly finished.
>>
>>53221153
I couldn't possibly disagree more, I think.

Monstergirl Refugee Crisis is my gold standard for realistic, well-realized waifus, but the relative complexity of its characters makes it a somewhat bittersweet CYOA. Yeah, I'd try to date Fisher, maybe, but I'm pretty sure we'd drive each other insane in less than a month. This sort of drawback applies to most waifu CYOAs that strive for realism.

Beri's characters, on the other hand, are relentlessly... nice. They're not going to win him a Nobel Prize for literature, but their sweetness feels unforced and genuine, even though the hokey nature of waifu CYOAs (wow, all these girls want to date me? really?) precludes them from being believable in any larger sense. I think that Beri's waifus are wonderful for pleasant daydreaming wish fulfillment, even if they don't necessarily have a lot of depth.

>It doesn't help him that he has characters explain themselves in person, which to be fair was an issue of style gimping him. It would have been better if the brown fairy explained her friends so she could give more personal information without it coming off completely stilted.
...Yeah, we have very different tastes.
>>
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>>53223199
Again, I'd like to thank anyone who posted feedback or builds. I really appreciate it.

>>53223176
I lost that changelog during an update, unfortunately.
>>
>>53223244
Do you have any vague memories then?
>>
>>53223199
it's a pretty big content update as is. Haven't read it yet, though.
>>
>>53223217
What sucks is that he probably cost us from ever seeing another one again.
>>
>>53223244
Do you have the full picture for companionship lying around anywhere?
>>
>>53222641
Isn't mastermind really similar to guild leader?
>>
>>53223272
Things I remember doing are increasing the costs of Phenomenal Cosmic Power and Domestic Goddess to offset the increased number of drawbacks, I also remember taking some advice to decrease the costs of Mini, No Misunderstandings, and Minor Psychic Link. I also decreased the cost of Magical Girl(friend), and increased the bonus given by Itty Bitty.

>>53223293
SFW version
http://pinkladymage.deviantart.com/art/Star-Guardian-Janna-646326975
NSFW version
http://www.hentai-foundry.com/pictures/user/PinkLadyMage/497102/Star-Guardian-Janna-uncensored


>>53223293
>>
>>53223334
>increasing the costs of Phenomenal Cosmic Power and Domestic Goddess to offset the increased number of drawbacks
They were too high to begin with. Majority of the drawbacks are no-sells, and the new ones are no exception to that, and to get PCP you'd need to take basically all of them.
>>
>>53223084
>implying you need to be a serial monogamous fuckwit before you can have a good, lasting relationship
>>
>>53223012
Jeez, I guess I hadn't thought about that. Why would you deliberately hurt someone who really loved you? I guess I'd still do it, and hope that waifu-abusing shitbags find assertive, confident waifus who are trained in kung fu and gorilla warfare. Or... something else that gets them to stop being waifu-abusing shitbags.

>there are going to be a lot of abused waifus out there.
And so Waifu Protective Services was created.
>>
>>53222778
「 Winter’s Tale」
Power: Ice Bolt Projection
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Ice_Bolt_Projection
「 Winter’s Tale」takes the form of a human shaped accumulation of swirling snow and ice. 「 Winter’s Tale」tends to stick just in front of its user, firing long ranged bolts of icy powers.

DP: B (1)
S: C (1)
R: B (2)
D: B (4)
P: B (6)
L: C (8)

Stand User: Vincent Klein
A bitter man who had at one point in his life sought to find his father’s killer, he now spends his time as a vigilante hoping to protect the weak. Though he has no desire to admit it, he finds himself easily attached to others, especially those whose fire has not been extinguished. He has recently adopted a lively young dog.
Ripped as Fuck:1
Mentor: 2
Do you Even pose: 3
Animal Mascot: 5
「 Lollipops and Rainbows」
Power: Happiness Inducement
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Happiness_Inducement
The stand takes the shape of flower petals gently raining from the sky. All within its zone begin to feel happier and more at peace.

DP: E
S: B (1)
R: B (2)
D: A (4)
P: C (5)
L: A (8)

Stand User: Alexander
Alexander is a small and fluffy puppy who accompanies Vincent, helping to keep his spirits in check. He doesn’t like to watch others fight and when he sees conflict he will try to use his stand to calm as many people as possible. When he’s not making the world a happier place he likes to lie in the sun, especially on warm days.
>>
>>53223371
Or you could look at it this way, Domestic Goddess used to cost 0 drawback points (IIRC it was 15, which was what you start with), while PCP cost either 10 or 15, I don't remember which. With most of the drawbacks being non-options you've just priced both of them out of viability at all.
>>
>>53220018
Training /career: Mercenary and bounty hunter

Starship/ Vehicles
Phantom cruiser (9,500)
Sparrow fighters (7,000)
Ground-racer (6,250)

Amour/attire
Modern attire (6,000)
Mix and match; one part vanguard armour and environmental suit (5,900)

Weapons
Hydra shotgun ( 5,450)
Frag grenades (5,300)
Plasma pistol (5,100)
Laser assault rifle (4,750)


Misc/other
Cluster rocket turret (free)
Plasma turret (free)
Jets (4,100)
Containment cells (3,550)
Entertainment system; movies, workout equipment , internet ,music ,bar and video games (3,250)
Healer symbiote (2,750)
Insurance implant (1,750)
Scanning wand ( 1,450)
Escape pod ( 1,200)
Galactic charts (700)


Companions
Bronze Torres
Hoshi ‘ghost’
Miguel Castillo
Lamar Brooks
Thunder


Extra stuff
Custom melee; Laser sword (450)
Arm augmentation (200)
Location: space
Citizen perks: Helmsman, greaser, regular and yes, boss.
>>
>>53223371
I intended to make PCP pretty difficult to get outside of a Marid (with the classic 3 wish limit) because it's borderline omnipotence. I don't want it to be impossible though. Are there any drawbacks you see that you think could be less instant-dealbreakers for you with a few tweaks?

>>53223466
That's why you get a lot of free perks. Domestic Goddess used to cost 12, PCP used to cost 25.
>>
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Lasers are fun, right?
>>
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>>53223519
>>
>>53223503
So in other words, Dommestic goddess cost -3, and PCP cost 10.
>>
>>53223217
>Bittersweet
Bittersweet is nice, though you could do less idealistic waifus and still not have it be bittersweet.

>I'm pretty sure we'd drive each other insane in less than a month.
But this can't be a absolute thing, there are plenty of relationships that last a lot longer, so wouldn't a realistic person be able to have long term potential as well? I'm honestly a little confused.
>>
>>53223519
This cyoa makes me want to wear a blindfold and go around punching people.
>>
>>53223503
How does the three wish limit work? three wishes and then the genie goes to heaven or three wishes and then if you use another the genie goes to heaven?
>>
>>53223558
You have your goodbyes as she grants your last wish and leaves it to you as a parting gift.
>>
>>53223151
>* Figure out why some dropshadows are not saving and exporting, and why some that do save and export do so at incorrect angles.
* Check the layer they're applied to and makes sure the little eyeball icon is dark black meaning it's on and not greyed out meaning it's off.
* Check the layer mode/blending option at the top to make sure it's on normal and not multiply or overlay or something else that may be hiding the effect.
* Check the layer style > drop shadow and make sure it has the same settings as the earlier ones and you didn't accdentally move something. An easier way is to right click on a layer style that is "correct" and choose "copy layer style" then r-click on an "incorrect" layer and "paste layer style" to paste the copied style to it.
>>
>>53223519
>>53223533
>He actually fucking did it.

Absolute madman. Holy shit.
>>
>>53223199
What's the snag?
>>
>>53223586
That's like 4 years old.
>>
>>53223601
No it is like a week old
>>
>>53223622
A week + 4 years.
>>
>>53223217
Not him, but differing tastes is certainly what it comes down to. I like Beri's style, but I'll admit that many of her characters do seem as if they're defined by a single character trait and don't really imply much underneath that surface aspect.

I think a lot criticism of Beri could also be directed to the more aesthetic, in general. Moe is very nice; sometimes, it's a little much. Like with anything, really. You can go too far over the edge of hidden depth and get something like Harem Master or Persona CYOA.
>>
>>53223575
I think I might be using a different program than this, but It has given me a few ideas. Thank you for the advice.

>>53223590
The page I'm writing grew out of a request I hadn't considered when initially making the setting and mechanics, and I'm not sure how to actually make everything fit. That, and I'm just having regular writing trouble.
>>
>>53223519
>>53223533
This is fun. I like fun. Thanks.
>Meat
>BIG BEAMS
>Rainbow
>Big gross eye
>>
>>53223503
How does "Phenomenal cosmic power can blow up in your face" sound? That pretty much applies to short circuit, mischievous mind, memory problems, all things all people, not a hero, and possibly gold digger and turbulent mood
>>
>>53223630
I'd argue Beri hasn't gone far enough. I love Beri's work. The colors are pleasing, the waifus are cute, and there's usually enough world building and choices outside the grills to let you spend a while thinking about different possible options. I wouldn't mind more of it, really.
>>
>>53223586
Someone suggested this a few threads back, and it amused me so much I had to make it. So their request became the opening text.

>>53223601
>>53223622
Yeah, I just posted it for the first time last Tuesday. Wanted more people to see it, so Saturday night seemed like a good time.
>>
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>>53223519
I AM MOLESTEROTH: THE GAZE OF RAPE
>HYPNO
>HOMING
>RED
>DEAD GAZERBEAM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
>>53223288
Wait, what? How? Beri left? Oh, looks like I missed a lot of this thread.

>>53220596
>His writing is shit and it hasn't improved even a smidgeon in all the cyoa he makes.
Have you read all his CYOAs? This isn't even remotely close to true.

>>53220742
>Like nigger pick up a fucking book and read jesus christ your sentence structure is so predictable it hurts.
...As opposed to the other CYOAs that get made? Have you tried reading one of those? Say, one of TokHaar's?

>>53222179
>I do literary agent work
Oh, that explains it! The style of complaint—"I really like your stuff, aside from all of its signature qualities. Also, you'd become a far better writer if you catered to my tastes"— seemed somehow familiar. Criticisms that are almost valid but largely beside the point: I'm not sure why, that's more or less what I'd expect.
>>
>>53223735
Wait hold on Beri left?
>>
>>53223109
>Feedback part 1
Too many newly added things with no point cost change, such as..
* 2x the skills yet still only 2 points to choose between.
* 2x the outfits yet still only 2 points to choose between.

Gourd feels weak. +1 mundane skill vs stuff like 4pt foresight. Kind of the same with cellphone.

Single room & Pocket Dimension way too costly compared to everything else to buy. No one took them last time and I doubt they will this time, unless it's to just spite this post, which is a thing with coyag.

>>53223503
Domestic Goddess and Phenomial Power are way too much now even with the new drawbacks as >>53223371 mentioned. You went beyond difficult to get. You also changed the bottle that gave you a point off of them, which still isn't much but was at least something.

Intoxicating Aroma still -3 points for an affect that isn't really worth it.

Nobody's going to take defiant either, that should be a high cost pitfall and even then people probably won't take it.
>>
>>53223735
>>53223747
Beri didn't leave, but he was listening to that guy that was ranting on about haiting waifus and how everything needs deep twists and hating on his cheerful style. So I'm saying we probably won't get another nice happy companion/waifu CYOA.
>>
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Sup guys. Got to work on page two today, how's it look?
>>
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>>
>>53223803
I can't see the pictures or read the descriptions.
>>
>>53223803
Does the Grimoire snark at me in a posh tone?
>>
>>53223800
Well fuck i liked those
>>
>>53223735
Beri is probably asleep and won't see any of the uplifting comments and will just get that faggot's biased tirades.
>>
>>53221406
The Witch Queen
Treasure Hunter for a henchman
Skill: Healing

Naturalism 2
Potions
Summoning

Create a college using knowledge I have left over from here and create a largely neutral kingdom whose purpose is to churn out healers and inventors. I'd always keep the ability to cure certain things to myself so as to remain the "best" and if a single person does become better then me I would send them to another kingdom on a mission of healing with as much knowledge as possible. Use my henchman to gather as many ingredients and as much information as possible about the other arts and slowly coalesce power while protecting my domain through contracts with other kingdoms allowing people to learn how to heal and other academics while sending my own healers to work in the kingdoms.

Basically I'd be the witch version of Switzerland.
>>
>>53223838
Mr. Literary Critic didn't, and because of that, he insisted that you shouldn't get things you like at all.
>>
>>53223735
>"Also, you'd become a far better writer if you catered to my tastes"
That's not what I was saying, Beri's works will probably never be in my taste, but there are ways to make it, in my literal professional opinion, better. Hell half of being an agent is finding stuff that will sell that you hate.
>>
>>53223886
>Better
By your definitions. By ascribing do your tastes. Idiot.
>>
>>53223861
What kind of person goes to a person that does things like this and says ''I don't like it change it so it looks like this''?
>>
>>53223886
Very few other people want him to start making edgy and gritty waifus like you want.
>>
>>53223109
>Feedback 2
All things, all people - would never take for +1/+2 points.
Others I might but maybe not. Makes the 30 pt power really unobtainable and still have a functional genie who isn't gone after 3 wishes.

>Feedback 3
Love that you added so many new outfits
Love that you added so many new mundane skills
Love that you added so many new accessories

Great that you added some new perks!
Great that you added a 1pt to gain skills/accessories to perks.
Great that you reduced mini to 1pt.

>Suggestions.
* Boost the outfits/skills by +1 choice each.
* Drop Cosmic Power and Domestic back down. they didn't really need the boost up as there are plenty of other things to take, especially as you can't reduce the cost at all now. Double negative change is bad.
* Maybe change Vessel interiors: Single Room to +2 and Pocket Dimension to +5
>>
>>53223886
Congrats, because of you, people won't get any of the content they like. Your spite has ruined things for people for no gain except to wank your own 'professional' dick.

>>53223901
This one >>53223886 right here.
>>
>>53223910
I never said edgy or gritty. Could you at least argue the points I made?
>>
>>53223837
Now it can.
>>53223833
I'd be surprised if you did considering I didn't add them yet.
>>
>>53223923
Your obsession with flaws is the same thing. Your miserable and hateful women and their 'depth' just like your shitty books.
>>
>>53223519
>Force
>Triple
>Yellow
>Dead Gazerbeam
I will call myself "Triple Crippling Deprevision". This build is so powerful that is only second the
legendary Gay Meat.
>>
>>53223940
Never said, that but please keep telling me everything I "totally said". I said depth, complexity and conflicting traits, which is different than necessarily negative traits
>>
>>53223886
You're very bad at telling when a community doesn't want you, aren't you?
>>
>>53223940
>>53223923
Whoa, whats with all the hate man?

Can't we all just get along and understand that everyone has different tastes?
>>
>>53223886
''Beri's works will probably never be in my taste'' Then why do you even care about his works? can't you just leave it be?
>>
>>53223901
I think you're being a bit disingenuous in distilling his criticisms.
>>
>>53223969
No we can't. Because that guy can't, and went out of his way to try and force Beri to change his style to suit his tastes.
>>
>>53223965
>wah safespace no criticism
Glad we've become reddit.
>>
>>53223961
>I said depth, complexity and conflicting traits
So flaws. Like your loveable Harem Master and his fucked up bitches.

See >>53222179 for when you said flaws directly, you pedant.
>>
>>53223982
Maybe i am just tired and slightly angry and i need to sleep but i also want to see how it ends all of this
>>
>>53223109
Oh I'd change defiant too. Move it to Pitfalls for like +5 pts and add something else in it's place like...Arrogant or Overconfident or something?

Columbic Catastrophy is hard to read. Needs moar drop shadow. It's also a funny and good Pitfall. Same with not a hero and a wish your heart makes. Those are interesting, though a wish your heart makes is probably the most minor of all the drawbacks, if you don't care about your genie feeling unfulfilled.
>>
>>53224000
>Flaws are super horrible edgy shit like harem master
Wrong, flaws can be subtle and small, like most likable characters. Flaws make people likable. Hell a lot of people grow attached to "flaws" of people they date
>>
>>53224013
I doubt it's going anywhere. The jackass will continue to defend himself, everyone else will hate him, and he's probably ruined things already.
>>
>>53224013
With blind anger and talking past each other without resolution, like every third (or maybe this is too generous an estimate) /cyoag/ thread.
>>
>>53223822
Who is the artist?
>>
>>53223625
Your brain's like a week+4years of solid retardation.
>>
>>53224044
Yes anon, I'm sure that selfish hateful bitch is so loveable. Oh I'm sure that waifu that likes to cheat on you is such a great girl beneath it all. Nothing says a good waifu like some murder either.
>>
>>53222778
>Stand Name:「 Poor Unfortunate Souls 」
「 Poor Unfortunate Souls 」 appears as a small, blue-colored humanoid. Three tentacles protrude from the back of its roundish head, and two more from its chin. A squareish crest rests flat on its forehead. The humanoid appears to be "dressed" in clothing stereotypical of a burgular, including carrying a burlap sack.

>Stand Power: http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Sonokinetic_Constructs
The Stand produces constructs by grabbing sounds and stealing them out of the air, shoving them into its bag, and then pulling the required constructs out.

>Stand Stats:
>Power C
>Speed A [6]
>Range A [4]
>Durability B [2]
>Precision D [1]
>Potential C [0]

>Stand User: Sylpha G. Annher
>User Appearance: Fabulous [4], Gender Swap [3]
>User Role: Brojo [1]
>Miscellaneous: Do You Even Pose? [0]

Sylpha is a girl in her late teens, most notable for the number of noisemaking devices on her person at any given time, running in contrast to her generally quiet nature. Up until about three years ago, she'd lived the life of an average bookworm, specializing in history and hoping perhaps to become an archaeologist.

All that changed when Sylpha's home and school burned down in a massive riot, incited somehow by (villain). In the aftermath of the event, she realized she had barely heard any of the sounds that would normally accompany a massive insurrection, and that a small blue creature had been protecting her somehow.

She only found out it was her「Stand」a few weeks later on the streets, when (either JoJo or Mentor) found her on the brink of starvation and pointed out her 'guardian angel' for what it was, and she's been at their side ever since.

She's taken to carrying a slide whistle since awakening 「Poor Unfortunate Souls」. It's a bit silly, she's well aware, but it can make plenty of sounds for her 「 Stand 」to forge barriers or projectiles from.
>>
>>53223632
>I think I might be using a different program than this, but It has given me a few ideas. Thank you for the advice.
Sorry thought you were using photoshop but there should be some similar commands in stuff like gimp. No idea about paint.net.
>>
>>53224055
I said sightly not fucking pissed beyond reasoning
>>
>>53223334
>Things I remember doing are increasing the costs of Phenomenal Cosmic Power and Domestic Goddess to offset the increased number of drawbacks
I don't really get this. The new drawbacks excluding the one that requires you to have a perk (which costs more than the associated drawback to get) add only up to 4 points and it's not like they are so minor that they are 'free' points, so this really just feels like a straight up nerf. Add to that, that a lot of the drawbacks probably make each other even worse if taken in combination. Honestly, at this point unless I would take all interlopers (which doesn't seem like a sensible thing), I don't think I could even get the required points with drawbacks even without taking any perks, unless I take things that make me an absolute ass, are life threating or are the three wish limit.

>>53224015
>though a wish your heart makes is probably the most minor of all the drawbacks, if you don't care about your genie feeling unfulfilled
If one is a dick, you mean.
>>
>>53224063
Chill, man. There's no need to be so mad.
>>
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>>53224062
It's Hibiki. He did the art for the CYOA himself. I don't have all of his CYOAs unfortunately, but I do like them.
>>
>>53222006
>MY WAY OF MAKING CYOAS IS INFALLIBLE AND PERFECT YOU'RE A LOSER BECAUSE YOU DON'T AGREE

Whiny faggot, I bet you've never even made one CYOA.

>>53222138
>Decent writing skill is now a 'great' idea

Jesus christ you fucking retard.
>>
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>>53224069
> I'm sure that selfish hateful bitch is so loveable
>only flaws that exist are cheating-tier
I'm starting to get the impression you've never been in a relationship. That or you're just so set on being pissed you'll assume everything I say is some kind of extreme.
>>
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Incoming dump
>>
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>>53223519
>LASER EYE TYPE: Hypno
>TRICK: Homing
>COLOR: Green
>PARTNER: Big Gross Eye

HA! HA! UNBLINKING HYPNOTIC STARE
>>
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>>53224122
>>
>>53224113
You already suggested that first one earlier in the thread.
>>
>>53223965
>I define what the community wants

No beri's writing is just shit.
>>
>>53224049
I don't really like Beri's stuff, so I think he makes a fair point. I don't want Beri to change her style, though,since it's evident she has a dedicated base.

It's a matter of expectations, really. Beri is fluffy moe and relies a lot of variety at the expense of depth. It's not bad, just not for some. I do wish she'd make an effort not to crap out CYOAs that went into the tens of pages, though.
>>
>>53223999
It's more that if the actual audience for his CYOAs don't want the changes you try and force, then why are you bothering everyone?
>>
>>53224159
There's nothing wrong with long CYOAs and his last one was a one-pager.
>>
>>53224097
>If one is a dick, you mean.
Heh yep pretty much, was just being a bit nicer about it.
>>
Lot of shitposting going on here. wonder in whose interest it is to attack content makers.
>>
>>53224172
There's nothing wrong with long CYOAs, but beri has no clue how to use space and their CYOAs end up feeling bloated because you get two choices every page. They have no clue how to use space properly.
>>
>>53224196
It always happens once we hit bump limit as well.
Quite odd.
>>
>>53224206
You sound like SDA on record tape with the obsession with formatting.
>>
>>53224108
Hibiki has done:

2 versions of Adopted
Vanguards Mentor
Strange New World

not sure if he has any more besides that.
>>
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>>53224143
>>
>>53224152
Show me where I said cheating, please.
I said maybe a little selfish, which is a lot different.

>>53224164
I'm not even sure they would, if they actually read what I was saying first. Would people really be mad with "Cute girl as a tiny bit of depth and maybe a minor flaw, or just conflicting traits, that makes her seem more dynamic" People make it sound like I'm asking beri to create some kind of serial-murder-cheating-whore cyoa. I understand the negative reaction, but maybe don't assume what I'm saying is the worst possible way to say it? Flaw doesn't have to mean some deep tragic edgy bullshit
>>
>>53224152>>53224249


Oh my bad, I misread your post, yaeh, everyone is selfish anon
>>
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>>53224246
>>
>>53224249
Your 'depth' is defined by making them bitchy and insufferable. And yes, people here don't want bitchy and insufferable characters. Your crap has been tried a dozen times in bad CYOAs and they always are hated and ignored.
>>
>>53224249
>Would people really be mad
Yes.
>>
>>53224249
He literally hates any sort of depth or complexity or even decent writing in a CYOA. He thinks beri is perfect because the waifus he writes are braindead.

He realizes that he's wrong so he just makes posts like >>53224271 making wild assumptions to justify his blind adoration of a cyoa author.
>>
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>>53224267
>>
>>53224249
Stop trying to inject real world misery into CYOAs, thanks.
>>
>>53224293
Your outright shitposting is tiring. What do you gain by it?
>>
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>>53224164
Anon. Have you missed some of these recent threads and what they've devolved into? Do you seriously think this one guy voicing a criticism is the same as "bothering everyone"? This guy saying that one-dimensional characters typically aren't as memorable as more multi-faceted ones is on the same level as autists sperging out about changed ship stats in Stardust or making claims about an author's fetishes and how that interacts with their work?

I think you need to step away from the thread, get a warm drink, and relax. This is genuinely one of the better threads we've had recently, in my opinion of course.
>>
>>53224271
>bitchy and insufferable
anon this is going nowhere fast, you'll just continue to tell me what I "really" said. If you think a woman with depth is bitchy and insufferable just be glad that's the thing anime girls will never have.
>>
>>53224271
>Your crap has been tried a dozen times in bad CYOAs and they always are hated and ignored.

I like CYOAs with lots of character to the companions, you don't represent this community.
>>
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>>53224303
>>
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>>53224196
>>53224221
>These faggots think it's me
You did this to yourselves, anons.
>>
>>53220708
There's a difference between being an asshole and giving criticism.
>>
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>>53224323
>>
>>53224321
The problem is your idea of depth is predicated on defining flaws as major personality traits.

>>53224322
Yes anon, I'm sure you're a big fan of Waifu Surprise and aren't just being contrarian.
>>
>>53224312
Why are you so emotionally invested in Beri? Do you feel entitled to having people agree with you?
>>
I don't know if I enjoy the "any depth is literally turning my pure waifu into a whore" rage or the "this author needs to change his style because my taste is objectively superior" rage more.
>>
>>53224351
Asked you first, senpai.
>>
>>53224348
>The problem is your idea of depth is predicated on defining flaws as major personality traits.

You haven't even heard what he's proposing, you're just regurgitating your same flawed arguments time and time again. Don't you get tired of being wrong?
>>
>>53224351
This has almost nothing to do with Beri themselves.
>>
>>53224348
>Yes anon, I'm sure you're a big fan of Waifu Surprise and aren't just being contrarian.

someone took the headpat troll a little too seriously.
>>
>>53224314
Right. His dimensions based on hugely negative, defining flaws like in Harem Master's work sure are wonderful and memorable.
>>
>>53224383
Now you just have me confused.
>>
>>53224330
I didn't say it was you. I said he sounds like you because you're a formatting autist.
>>
>>53224365
>any depth is literally turning my pure waifu into a whore
I think it's less that and more of if she isn't autistic with no social presence and is yandere, she's a slut.
>>
>>53224331
Please no one would care if I said shit about Tok or whatever the fuck his name is. This is people getting mad I attacked the sacred cow.

>>53224365
I just thought more depth would be nice, as I've said several times I like beri's work, if beri doesn't care about my opinion that's fine, I will continue to like everything but the waifus. And even if beri added depth I wouldn't like it more, just because their style, which is perfectly valid relies on kawaii archetypes, so it's not me exactly wanting beri to change, just maybe add something more complex

Maybe I started too critical, but again this is 4chan and no one would care if it was almost any author.
>>
>>53224415
Why are you projecting your favorite archetypes on everyone else?
>>
>>53224435
>I like beri's work
Yet as multiple people have pointed out, you go on to attack everything about his work and their intended tone. So no, you don't.
>>
>>53224397
i think the headpat-orgasm reveal was the one that caused the biggest shitstorm in waifu surprise
>>
>>53224375
It's tangentially related because Beri's waifus are one dimensional moeblobs and the argument has to do with depth in a character.

The idea that NOBODY wants deep and complex characters is ridiculous and calling it a shitpost shows you have no argument to stand on. I like complex characters and I like good writing and so does everybody else.

The only reason the shitposter is taking things this far is because we're attacking Beri and he has some weird fetish involving this author.
>>
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>>53224344
>>
>>53224435
Nice for who? You, who don't like them in the first place? Or the people who do like them, who haven't been supportive of your arguments in the least?
>>
>>53224455
>His tone is waifus with one character trait
I've been reading all of his work wrong.
>>
>>53224457
No it wasn't. The biggest shitstorms were over the cuckqueen and the trap flirting with men.
>>
>>53224482
The optimistic, cheerful, and happy tone is part of his work. That's something you're trying to destroy.
>>
>>53224475
If you like shitty writing then I'm going to call you out on liking shitty writing. I'm sorry you feel offended by people with standards.
>>
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>>53224468
>>
>>53224504
'Call people out' all you want, people only gave a fuck because you tried to force the author to change.
>>
>>53224466
>The only reason the shitposter is taking things this far is because we're attacking Beri and he has some weird fetish involving this author.
This has evolved far beyond anything having to do with Beri or Beri's writing and is instead about what authors in general "owe" audiences of different stripes. It came up about Beri's CYOA but we could be having this exact same argument about almost any author.
>>
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>>53224509
>>
>>53224504
Giving up the pretense that you like him, then?
>>
>>53224493
It's completely possible to have a happy lighthearted tone and also be a competent writer. Nobody is telling him to stop being cheerful we're just pointing out that Beri hasn't improved as a writer since he started making CYOAs.

Nobody is forcing him to turn into DSA but that doesn't mean we have to praise him for pushing out lackluster CYOAs with no creativity.
>>
>>53224466
This argument is about people trying to force their tastes/style on authors.
>>
What the heck has happened to these past few threads? I don't mind the usual arguments we have, but this recent stuff is bizarre and different. I dunno. Maybe it's just me.
>>
>>53224475
For who? Well I'd like to like his waifus more even if they'll never be my thing.
For other people who probably would like beri to do what I'm saying but don't understand what I'm saying and are REEEing.
And maybe even Beri, if they spend time doing these things I figure they may want to improve.

>>53224493
Anon, I'm saying some things to add depth, not that beri should make grimdark CYOA about which waifu will leave you for various reasons. Though speaking of grim, didn't beri release a darker cyoa anyway?
>>
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>>53224530
>>
>>53224531
You're arguing with more than one person numbnuts, not everything can be attributed to a magical all-knowing shitposter.
>>
>>53224537
Not when your definition of 'competent' involves including massive, disgusting flaws. Making the characters hateful and selfish isn't going to lead to a nice tone.
>>
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>>53224556
>>
>>53224531
Not me anon, other people have opinions that disagree with you, you know that right? Some people legitimately hate his work, I don't just find his waifus lackluster and uninspired.
>>
>>53224552
>For other people who probably would like beri to do what I'm saying
I'm not seeing anybody. I'm seeing you and other people who hate Beri who want someone else entirely, and I'm seeing people who like him and don't agree with your arguments. So you have nobody. You're not arguing for something anyone who would be effected wants.
>>
>>53224542
It's never been about that. Beri fanboys have been trying to turn it into that so they feel justified. This is squarely about Beri's writing skill, it started that way and it's still that way.

Point out a single post asking him to make dark gritty stuff and not wondering why he hasn't improved.

>>53224572
You're still on that page? You're a fucking retard.
>>
>>53224552
>Anon, I'm saying some things to add depth, not that beri should make grimdark CYOA
See >>53224572
>>
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>>53224583
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>>53224607
>>
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>>53224389
A flaw is not a huge flaw. You're flawed, and if you don't recognize that you're even more flawed than I imagine you to be. So unless you're projecting your own character traits onto fictional characters for whatever reason, you don't really have anything behind what you're saying and you're just doomsaying and assuming the worst out of an author who I assume you enjoy the works of.

You can enjoy simple, easily understood characters with no flaws. It's like enjoying Rock Paper Scissors, who cares, it's just a game. But why are you so defensive about something that isn't yours in the first place? Because you enjoy it, so you feel any attempt to change it would be for the worse? You really are just a shitposter, you know?
>>
>>53224594
Again, he can be as happy and cheery as he wants and still be a decent writer. The fact that you think Beri has to remain a practical illiterate in order to stay the same shows you don't even believe he can improve.

He sucks as a writer, but he doesn't need to and with some effort he could actually make decent stuff that is also light and cheery.
>>
>>53224439
I'm not, I'm arguing against those who do.
>>
>>53224606
Anon, for the love of god meet real people. People can act selfish. I was talking about a coy selfishness that would fit Beri's work, something still cutesy but with a tiny complexity to a very sugary character.

Why does the word selfish trigger people so much?
>>
>>53224606
Redirecting to a shitpost doesn't prove anything Anon-kun. Try using an argument instead if you want people to not laugh at you.
>>
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>>53224624
>>
>>53224629
I'm flawed, and I'd be a miserable and awful waifu in a CYOA.

>doomsaying
You provided examples earlier. Your idea of flaws include someone being disgustingly selfish. That's completely against tone. You haven't provided any examples that aren't godawful to defend your idea, because you don't have any.

>>53224647
>People can act selfish.
A selfish personality is completely intolerable.
>>
>>53224685
You're completely intolerable.
>>
>People suck as a writer if they don't appeal to my specific tastes.
God these are some virulent shitposters.
>>
>>53224647
Selfishness in any capacity is disgusting and you should fucking kill yourself if you want it. Stop trying to corrupt Beri's purity and sweetness with your foul love of roasty sluts.

CYOAs are good because they keep things simple, absolutely nobody in this community is interested in reading a fucking novel. We just want simple, sweet and kind waifus to make love to.
>>
>>53224647
Understand this, people looking for "waifus" are generally people who hate real people. If you make waifus more like real people you are inevitably alienating the very people who want them to begin with.

People are shit, waifus are perfect.
>>
>>53224647
>Coy selfishness
So a manipulative bitch who is just using you to do things for her?
>>
>>53224685
Everyone has a selfish personality. Again make some real friends. Connect with humans. Does someone taking too much of the blanket really really make them intolerable?
>>
>>53224647
>coy
This isn't seen as a good word in the english language either.
>>
>>53224647
If she's selfish, you're getting used. People don't want to be used, and if they're being used, then that's not a positive tone right there.
>>
>>53224723
>Everyone has a selfish personality.
Oh yes anon, I'm sure everyone is only concerned with themselves absolutely.

Oh, and even if that was true? This is fantasy. Nobody wants an unfortunate and shitty reality reflected in it.
>>
>>53224714
wrong. my waifu is perfect. all others are shit.
>>
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>>53223109
Does pcp include the powers of domestic goddess? Maybe I'm just uncreative, but the whole 1 uninterrupted month of rest thing makes it seem like the amount of sensible, non world altering uses of that power is relatively limited, even more so if one takes something like pure of heart.
>>
>>53224647
This post kinda dug the hole deeper. As long as you were vague, you can argue about everyone being selfish and shit, but if you specify a kind of selfishness associated with abusive relationships and manipulate girlfriends? You're shooting yourself in the foot.
>>
>>53224753
I want complex and multifaceted characters, just because you're a NEET who hasn't talked to a girl in years doesn't mean the rest of us are wallowing in our own filth and self pity.
>>
>>53224793
Go write them then.
>>
>>53224787
I was going for the more "is shy" definition, but as >>53224725 pointed out it's not really the way people tend to use it. I'll admit that was my fault. I already said that she didn't feel good about being selfish because of her otherwise ideal personality. But yeah, that was my bad.
>>
>>53224793
Make a CYOA of your own.

"But Beri should change!"

For all your talk about realism and trying to avoid being one dimensional, you're displaying more idiocy there if you think that's going to happen or go over well.
>>
>>53224840
Two points.

1. Feeling bad about it doesn't make that less of a negative. Lots of people feel guilt for far worse, doesn't make it cute or endearing.

2. You admit you failed to express your ideas there. Doesn't it seem like you've done so consistently basically the entire time?
>>
>>53224859
I'm not telling Beri to change, I'm responding to people who are saying that NOBODY wants complex characters. Why are you dragging beri into this?

>>53224795
I already do.
>>
>>53219908
>Cooking
>Disarming
>Foxy
>Hot Spring
>Marriage
>>
>>53224863
>Feeling bad about it doesn't make that less of a negative. Lots of people feel guilt for far worse, doesn't make it cute or endearing.
It was a way to make her deeper.

>You admit you failed to express your ideas there.
Only about two times I've misspoken ,this is a 4chan argument after all, so these things happen. My original point isn't invalidated because I said something dumb though
>>
>>53224879
What cyoas have you made? Would like to read your characters.
>>
>>53224879
>Why are you dragging beri into this?
Because this argument you have joined into started with someone talking about beri.
>>
>>53224879
Post your CYOA.
>>
>>53224879
It seems like your posts got mixed in with the rest of the posts complaiming about Beri's characters as I was skimming. You people are acting similar. But whatever, the message is jumbled and out there and threadly chaos is still continuing.
>>
>>53224840
Selfishness paints her entire personality wrong.

Like, is she nice? Well she's only being nice to stroke her ego.

Did she give you a present? That's not to be nice, that's just for praise.

Is she polite? Again,that's just so people will praise her and stroke her ego.

She help you? It's just so you'll do something for her later.

Dating you? She just wants someone around to stroke her ego and do housework for her. Not because she likes you.

All because the only things that matter to her are her self and her ego. Because she is selfish.
>>
>>53224840
>>53224897
You know, what's really ironic is the fact that beri DOES make flawed characters, and you would know that if you ever actually read his "30 pages of waifu shit"

Take Twile (branching heart) for instance. If you think "Childish, showoff, and enjoys playing pranks" aren't flaws, than you really need to gtfo because your definition of flaw here can only end in disaster.
>>
>>53224906
>>53224933
Not doing that, this threads already a shitshow and I don't want my CYOA associated with it.

>>53224955
>>53224926
I don't hate Beri, admittedly his work isn't my cup of tea but I don't hate him.
>>
>>53224992
Worst part is that poor Beri probably took his shit to heart and won't make nice things again.
>>
>>53225001
He's an adult, he can shake off some mean comments.
>>
>>53225000
>Not doing that
Don't claim you do something unless you have the nuts to show it.
>>
>>53225001
The way you keep going on about that makes me think it's you who wants him to go away.
>>
>>53225000
>Not doing that, this threads already a shitshow and I don't want my CYOA associated with it.
So, basically none. Gotcha.
>>
>>53223244
Do you have the full picture for Old Friend?
>>
>>53224990
How do you interact with people? Everyone has some selfish qualities. Doesn't mean everything they do is selfish.

>>53224992
Yes, and that's the one note characteristic of that choice. My point wasn't "flaws = great writing" my point was a lot of Beri's characters lacked depth, someone wanted an example of how depth could be added, so I suggested that a flaw might balance a otherwise inhumanly perfect character. It was an example of contrasting traits. Did you not see that original point? It seems like people are so fixated on the flaw part alone
>>
>>53225001
I'm looking forward to a grimdark waifu cyoa by Beri.
>>
>>53225053
>Everyone has some selfish qualities. Doesn't mean everything they do is selfish.
Because not everyone would be described as having a selfish personality like you want for this character.
>>
>>53225062
I never said selfish personality, I said she had a (slight) selfish streak. What again, was a minor example.
>>
>>53225058
I'm not. He'll get chased out like Hunter Anon and Harem Master.
>>
>>53225040
>>53225032
I don't care if you think I'm lying. I was only here to say that I like complex characters and saying that nobody likes them is retarded.
>>
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>>53222641
16 Tokens
Drawbacks:
>Fair Warning
>I See You!
>Infamous
21 Tokens Total

>The Badass
>The Elemental (Earth) (18)
>Victory or Death (23)
Powers:
>Corruption (21)
>Unbendable Time (20)
>Flash (19)
>Nullification (11)
>Regeneration (9)

>Legendary Armour (on all the time, indestructible but for a few weak points)

>Agent of Chaos

I am an unstoppable giant made from the stones of the earth. I am nigh indestructible and can absorb earth and stone to heal my wounds. I am so unstoppable most superpowers flat out do not affect me. As an earth elemental, uncontrollable earthquakes occur around me constantly. If by some miracle my enemies do manage to contain me I can jump to the nearest large rock formation and emerge from it.

I am inevitable, unstoppable, inexorable death. I will level this fantasy you have made for yourself and then I will come for you.
>>
>>53225073
Which implies she is notably more selfish than a normal person.
>>
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>>53218949
>Self Immortality
>Beauty
>Mirror Mirror
>Urban Fantasy
>>
I suggest next time Beri posts we all respond to her telling her how much we love and appreciate her being here with us so that she'll feel better after what the shitposters did today.
>>
>>53225100
This is probably a falseflag.

Just behave normally.
>>
>>53225090
Well more like it's abnormal for her personality, being such a sweet kind girl. Again, it wasn't even what I was suggesting exactly, it was demonstration of contrasting traits.
>>
>>53223151
could you use Magical Medium to wish for immortality? I seem to recall Patron Haint could pull it off with the correct portfolio.

>>53223244
why does psycho friend grant so many points? Does taking the option cause the problem, or just forewarn you of it?

>>53223199
does Friend Upstairs do anything that a Magical Girlfriend couldn't do instantly?
>>
>>53225105
I just don't want my favorite author to feel down after so much negativity has been thrown their way.
>>
>>53225108
So she's not actually sweet since she's doing it for selfish reasons? Again, it's only coming up because it's more prominent than it would be in a normal person. So that casts everything she does and says in a dark light.
>>
>>53225081
If you claim something the burden of proof lies on you. It's called put up or shut up, otherwise everything you've said is now circumspect and can be ignored as hot air.
>>
>>53225122
Make a new build for a CYOA of his or something then.
>>
>>53220470
>Disgu
If it make you anybetter I would like a WIP of No.53220470
>>
>>53225124
> it's only coming up because it's more prominent than it would be in a normal person
No it's only coming up because it would be a surprising fact. If you knew a kind, sweet almost spineless woman, who sometimes, just sometimes was a little selfish, that would be note worthy of her character, especially if you were trying to explain how people can have traits that seem counter to each other.
>>
>>53225125
>Because you lied about having native american ancestry we can assume you're not human

Don't be retarded Anon, it doesn't suit you.
>>
>>53225147
It'd be noteworthy that apparently she isn't selfless and kind at all, yes.
>>
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Which author had the hardest life?
>>
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>>53224771
It would be more accurate to say that the Domestic Goddess has a limited form of PCP and is limited spatially. Early on there was the example of immortality. A PCP could give you eternal life, eternal youth, and invulnerability for true immortality. A Domestic Goddess could probably only give you two out of three, and you'd need to stay within her radius at all times if you've gone past your natural lifespan. Also, you can change the world with PCP, it's just that revealing Heaven to humanity and messing with things that should not be messed with will grab the Powers that Be's attention.

>>53225048

>>53225112
>could you use Magical Medium to wish for immortality
Not full immortality, probably. The Patron Haint that got specced to give immortality was using multiple wishes and interpretations of the concept to do so. You only get the one wish. But you could probably really slow down your aging, or make yourself a lot stronger/healthier, etc.

>does Friend Upstairs do anything that a Magical Girlfriend couldn't do instantly?
Yes, but the main thing is that Friend Upstairs is always active, whereas the Magical Girl has a more limited magic pool, has to sleep, has to recharge, etc. It's not a lot, but it isn't trivial either.
>>
>>53225204
SDA they were overtaken by the forces of smug and are no longer human.
>>
>>53225112
>why does psycho friend grant so many points? Does taking the option cause the problem, or just forewarn you of it?
Sorry, forgot one. Psycho Childhood Friend grants you a lot of points because she's extremely persistent and apparently knowledgeable. Not to the level of the Old Friend, but she is clearly going to make waves. As for the second part, it's in the Little Sister's ending speech regardless of what Interloper you take. PCF just warns you about it.
>>
>>53225122
then find out where they live and give them a surprise bedroom blowjob
>>
>>53225204
Angel. She was raped so hard she's suffered life long trauma and became a lesbian.
>>
>>53225204
DSA/NTR Anon, because he is a Venezuelan cuck.
>>
>>53225204
Me.
>>
>>53225151
>Changing the context of what's said so I can try to make someone look foolish.
FTFY
>>
>>53225212
For pcp would wishing for something minor like good weather also take a month of rest?
>>
>>53225204
Quiet?
>>
>>53225290
Which one is he again?
>>
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>>53225215
>>
>>53225315
Oops, I put the underscore in the wrong place.
>>
Why do you fucks do this everytime we start to pull ourselves out of the shitpost swamps?
>>
>>53225287
I figured anyone who took enough drawbacks to afford PCP would be exclusively interested in major wishes, or would use a bonus bottle to get a less expensive/powerful genie for minor wishes. But I can change it so that the amount of time she needs to rest is proportional to how major the wish is.

Though keep in mind changing the weather isn't necessarily minor either. Even a Domestic Goddess can only modify it, not completely define it.
>>
>>53225332
Third time's the charm.
>>
>>53225305
he got disowned by his family for being a gay.
>>
>>53225305
The one who lived in the middle east and who disappeared for like months when things started up again in the country he lived in.
>>
>>53225366
No I meant what were his works
That's pretty sad though
>>
>>53225212
If you want to avoid people asking what power level they need for immortality (considering it's basically the most iconic wish besides being rich and more wishes), it would probably be wise to either state it explicitly or just define some system that's a little more rigid than "power equivalent to a minor identity" (I'm still not really sure what this is supposed to mean).
>>
What does SDA stand for
>>
>>53225212
Thank you.
>>
>>53225379
Shit Dick Anon. He really likes anal.
>>
>>53225379

Suck Dick Anon
>>
>>53225379
Some Dumb Anon
>>
>>53225379
Serelict Dation Anon.
>>
>>53225374
Anon's fucking with you, Quiet is a Pakistani Canadian who was unable to leave Pakistan because the government said no, and was at some point found to have trap porn on his computer.
>>
>>53225395
>>53225397
>>53225400
You can at least try to be creative with it, it's Semen Demon Anon
>>
>>53225379
Semen Dumpster Asshole
>>
>>53225379
SanDrA
>>
>>53225379
Sensible Design Anon
>>
>>53225379
Salacious Desperate Anus.
>>
>>53225392
No problem.

>>53225377
What I might do is add a dedicated section giving example wishes, but honestly it depends on the definition of immortality. You can get some form of it with Patron Haints, some form with Domestic Goddesses, another with PCP.
>>
>>53225412
SDA is a woman, you say?
>>
>>53225408
>tells others to be creative
>posts a tired meme
>>
>>53222798
Best cyoa ever.
>>
>>53225438
She's not a woman because that implies a human form. She's the amalgamation of years of smug anime girl pictures on the net that gained sentience.
>>
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>>53225438
>>
>>53225407
No, no. Quiet was just in Canada for a while, and he hid his trap porn well. He's just in the middle of moving to the US.

Highlander is ironically the gay Sacaren who's the most liable to be disowned on the basis of sexuality. From the sound of it she apparently isn't the first one to be tossed out of the family. That honor goes to her oldest brother who got caught in a relationship with, Allah forgive me for typing this word, a Jew.
>>
>>53225212
Okay. So the trick is to get PCP with three wishes, but not a Marid to avoid Pure of Heart. Then you buy a Bonus Bottle.

Your PCP genie is a burner, so you can give it a bunch of pitfalls that you would normally avoid, like Easily Trapped. You use it to buy immortality, then move on to your Bonus Bottle.

You use your bonus bottle to get a Magical Girlfriend, which is your main build after you've gotten immortality.

>>53225212
>>53225249
thanks for the response.
>>
>>53225379

Shit Dripping Anus
>>
>>53225460
I thought muslim men were allowed to date outside the faith.
>>
Pretty much done with page two. Just need the images for the seven seals.
Does anything seem to OP?
>>
>>53225488
That's the point anon.
>>
>>53225493
I can't see the pictures or read the descriptions.
>>
>>53223109
>Traditional Outfit
Hell yes best waifu. Where did you find a color picture of her?
>>
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>>53225493
Forgot file.
My high ass. Sorry.
>>
>>53225457
>>53225458
See? This is how she tries to communicate. It's very sad honestly, due to her very nature this is the only way she can express herself. No one knows what's she's really trying to convey, but we do are best to make her feel welcome and at home by posting more smug anime girls. It's like we're telling her we care.
>>
>>53225502
fuckin hell bro im dying
>>
>>53225462
That would definitely work if you could scrounge up enough points.

>>53225503
http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2343615
>>
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Conduit shit
>>
>>53225347
The only major wishes I would be interested in would be immortality (because relationships between mortals and immortals are too sad for me) and some 'make the world not as bad' stuff.

Something like 'make it stop hailing' should count as minor, right?
>>
>>53225509
>Made of your favorite metal.

You mean I can wear a bracelet made of https://youtu.be/DKgVR2ZdVgg?
>>
>>53225563
huh I would have assumed that pearl would only be a thing if you had the new super connection thing that replaced meister.
>>
>>53223800
Oh, thank goodness.

I'll take that particular misapprehension as a sign that I've been bingeing on marine invertebrates for too long; I should get some rest.

>>53223683
>>53223800
>>53223838

>>53223886
Okay. In all fairness, you do come across as someone with the right sort of eye for this. That's probably why you skipped past the people who struggle with basic composition, consciously or not— your kind of advice probably wouldn't be too useful to them, I'd wager— and wound up criticizing one of the better CYOA authors. And you're not entirely wrong, but what you perceive as a flaw, is actually part of what makes Beri's CYOAs as popular as they are. I'm not that easily triggered, but I had recently watched some asshat slag my other favorite author, DSA, so I wrote you a somewhat nastier reply that I would have otherwise.

>>53224249
What you're talking about is really hard to pull off well in something as blunt as a CYOA, and even harder to do if you want to maintain an upbeat tone. If you asked me, I'd say that Beri's work needs character depth the way that cartoons need realistic anatomy.

I was going to post the CYOAG Roommate one and ask what you thought of it, but we're at the image limit, so.
>>
>>53225590
Sure. It can be made of sound if it's made with metal sounds.
Smartass
>>
>>53225513
>You are at a stage where people feel compelled to type things like this out
I must go further beyond
>>
>>53225509
the cybereye doesn't have night vision?

Dimensional pocket, grimoire, blanket.

strong side: pocket, gun, grimoire (depending what magic points do), cyberlimb, bracelet, blanket

weak: hat, lockpicks, lantern, comb
>>
>>53225599
>super connection thing that replaced meister.

There's new Conduit stuff?
>>
>>53220244
I don't know whether or not you're just trying to bait but god damn do I agree with you, anon. We need to cool it on the waifu cyoas
>>
>>53225616
Yeah, by "marking" them I hoped to limit one OP power to a build. Might mark those ones to, or re-word them

Also, migrate. >>53225517
>>
>>53225636
This thread is cozy. I'll stay here.
>>
>>53225568
Depends on what you do with the hail. If you convert it to some other type of precipitation, a Domestic Goddess could do that, so for a PCP it is minor. If you just make it vanish completely, then a Domestic Goddess couldn't do that, so it would be major.

And yeah, immortal/mortal relationships are sad. I almost considered adding immortality as a perk but I thought it would be too much.
>>
>>53225649
D'awww
Love ya
>>
>>53225609
I think that eternal whatever did a really great job of it, to be honest. I'm not even saying they should do something crazy, I just think beri has the potential to take it up a notch, even if it's three traits that aren't directly connect, like a free spirited person who also like board games.

Though badness is on me too.
>>
>>53219345
So many options and no need to choose since none even compares to Twile...

Library*

Secretary
Body Swap
Chains that Bind
Deeper Connection

Real Form*
>>
>>53225619
Yeah follow what I was linking, that's new. He's doing an update, been doing it for sometime. Check 1d4chan for a link to more of the Wip if you're interested.
>>
>>53224647
its ok anonface. I getcha. I find minor flaws and not entirely positive personality traits a nice touch and shows the author puts in a fair amount of thought into it to make a mesh well with the character. So long as it's not too extreme in any direction really.
>>
>>53225554
>15
itty bitty living space (+4)
turbulent mood
magical ream (she doesn't have powers to take advantage of this anyway)
wish your heart makes
coulombic catastrophe (+2)
Easily trapped (+2)
terminal battery
mischievous
three wishes (+5)

make it an ifrit, xuan, or houri so you don't get a point for one of those drawbacks. Most drawbacks have limited effect because she's going to be resting in her vessel almost 100% of the time.

two points left to put into a bonus bottle, giving you a base of 1 point for your magical girlfriend.
>>
>>53225590
Fuck man, I want to wear https://youtu.be/bqcQLgqoq4M
>>
>>53225653
I'll say it again, Immortality should either be available by default in a CYOA, or not available at all. Locking it behind the most expensive options is a very stupid move. Making it an inexpensive perk would have been the acceptable compromise, and then you can let the CYOA be about more interesting things afterwards.
>>
>>53225509
>unending contents
>3x the usual
I don't understand. Are they unending? Does it heal 3 times as good?
>>
>>53225749
This is basically why I've not made a build for this CYOA. I figure I can either exploit a bonus bottle, which the entire concept of a bonus bottle here seems wrong. I shouldn't be able to make a burner genie of any power level for 1 point, that defeats the whole purpose of the CYOA and I'd rather ignore that that option even exists. Or else I can use the patron haint exploit which basically amounts to copying some other anons build, so why make my own anyway?
>>
>>53225653
I think you should either make (true) immortality available as a perk or lower it to patron haint (though I think that makes the lowest two powerlevel options really niche options.
I really like the idea of the cyoa, but 70% or so of the discussion seems to be focused on the immortality part. I don't know about you, but I personally don't like these immortality cheese builds at all.
>>
>>53225841
btw if I were writing the CYOA and made the bonus bottle, it would have a ton of restrictions

>Cannot gain points from drawbacks (all points must be assigned from main pool as the X cost)
>Cannot be a greater power level than your primary genie
>3 wish limit (if applicable) is shared across all genies.
>>
>>53225858
Agreed. I would rather see people make coool builds than see people find ways to get a single class of genie just to get one ability, because I have a feeling that's what most people will go for.
>>
>>53219072

ALL
OF
THEM
>>
>>53225724
You now have to take fewer drawbacks to afford a PCP. I hope it doesn't alter your build too much, or it does for the better.

>>53225841
>make a burner genie of any power level for 1 point
Could you clarify what you mean by this?
>>
>>53226091
>Take bonus bottle for 1 point
>Start with a marid OR
>Take any/all drawbacks on bonus genie
>Use only as necessary, then dispose of
>>
>>53223109
First of my two updated builds.

Peri
Criminal Record*
Numb
Curvy
Barefoot
Collar+Leash
Flexible
Wedding Dress
Glorified Jewelry
Courtesan
Scheherazade
Ring
Itty Bitty +4
Haint*
>Science and technology specialist. Since advanced enough technology can effectively be counted as magic, she only needs to be powerful enough to produce the requisites for the devices needed and be able to assemble and operate them. Combo option with Scheherazade.

>Perks 19p
Loving Heart
Lusty Soul
Magical Realm
Curse bane -2
No Misunderstandings
Extra Skill -> Nurse
Minor & Major Psychic Link*
Bonus Bottle -12

>Interloper
Old Friend*
Xian*
Dominant*
Weird Science
>She blames the other one for being the cause of her rejection. She intended to prove herself while demonstrating that the other one is useless and should be tossed out and buried forever, but got too carried away, ending up in the bonus bottle. Her intent remains.

Overkill
High Heels
Wrist Bangles
Tattoos
Chinese Dress
Maid
Housewife
Businesswoman
Courtesan*
Ruler*
Crystal Ball
Single Room -4
Haint*
>As or more powerful than the original. BDSM and restraints specialist. Room is a fully featured BDSM dungeon.

>Perks 5p
Loving Heart
Lusty Soul
Magical Realm
No Misunderstandings
Djinn-ja -2
Friend Upstairs*
Foresight*

>Pitfalls
Terminal Battery*
A wish your Heart Makes
>She just wanted to have been accepted and be working like a normal Xian would.

>Goal
Companionship
>>
>>53223109
>>53226471

Second of my two updated builds.

Marid
Voluntary*
Happy to be here
Overkill
Barefoot
Motherly face
Flexible
Chinese Dress
Maid
Housewife
Businesswoman
Scheherazade
Gourd
Pocket dimension -7
Phenomenal Cosmic Power*

>Perks 8p
Love Heart*
Magical Realm
No Misunderstandings
Friend Upstairs -2
Curse bane -2
Bonus Bottle -2

Pure of Heart*
Three Wish Limit*

>Interloper
Endless In laws*
>Mother who noticed what was happening and took the bonus bottle opportunity to also try it, besides it being an excuse to remain close to her daughter and to use the psychic links. A bit of a role reversal given that the motherly one is the daughter.

Marid*
Voluntary*
Excited*
Curvy
Barefoot
Collar+Leash
Belly Gem
Glorified Jewelry
Lovely Assistant
Courtesan
Entertainer
Ring
Itty Bitty +4
Phenomenal Cosmic Power*
>Likes submitting and being saved, choose the acessories, clothes and the interior herself.

>Perks 5p
Lusty Soul*
Magical Realm
No misunderstandings
Minor Psychic Link*
Major Psychic Link -2
We Got You Something Special -3

Pure of Heart*
Three Wish Limit*
Easily Trapped +2

>Goal
Companionship
>>
>>53223244
Needs fixing:
"Short Circuit", "Terminal Battery"
and "A Wish Your Heart Desires" should not be compatible with Marids.

"Pure of Heart" and "Gold Digger" should be mutually exclusive.


Suggestions moving forward.

A section of specializations for Haints, leave some margin with open options like you did with the variable clothing.

Maybe you could combine "your wish, my command" with something to allow for a duet with the Djinn. Not the bonus bottle however since the point would be sharing it. I am looking forward to the Itty Bitty version of this.

Now that points can be used for accessories and clothes, how about a new section for restraints (cuffs, stocks, chastity belts, ball weight) and punishments towards the Djinn? The purpose is to show who is the boss, possibly minimizing some drawbacks, but at the cost of making her weaker, trading skills for punishments and accessories for restraints. Maybe with a turn around option if combining to my previous suggestion if using on self.

Maybe also a section for other masters to interact with, either by choosing Djinns for them as well or letting them be our master.
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