/cyoag/ - CYOA General

>>53218949
>EVERYONE:
>Immortality
Is this God or fucking monkey pawn? Holy shit picking this will make you history's greatest monster. People dying sucks and I don't agree that life needs to end for it have purpose but there actually are some very good reasons why you might want to die.
First of all, aging is frozen, no set to some ideal age, which will kinda suck a fucking lot to anyone old or young.
Second, it's great that God specifies that people can suffer and not die when malnutrion and lack of clean water is massive problem around the world. Pick this and guarantee that even the mercy of death is denied to them. Also if someone decides to nuke this planet, we will all starve endlessly.
Third, personal Immortality says "you won't get sick", whereas this only says "diseases will no longer be able to kill a human". So people can still get sick, they just can't die from it. So anyone getting AIDs and Ebola will be converted into eternally screaming lump of flesh that sprays blood all around. Refugee crisis nothing, what will emerge across the Mediterranean Sea will make Dead Space look like romantic comedy.
Also nothing about population control so eventually outmost parts of the humanity pile will be able to colonize stars. And I don't mean the planets orbiting those stars, altho those will be colonized too. I mean the actual stars. Literally. All will be colonized by the ever expanding lump of humanity. Unless of course the fetus counts as person. At least we'll get answer to that question. Hopefully if this is the case, it will be early in the development, might get awkward otherwise. Is abortion murder if the fetus is immortal or if it's performed before God considers it person enough for immortality?


>Love
I honestly don't see why you wouldn't pick this. It doesn't even come with "this doesn't apply to you" drawback. I guess if you want everyone to die alone and unloved, you can skip this, in which case, hi fellow Finn.

>>53218972
>Beauty
Standards of beauty have repeatadly shifted over time. No idea if this will keep upgrading people as they shift again. Whatever. Again, there's very little reason to not pick this. I feel like this and Love should maybe be choice between them and the angel waifu and Mirror. But there's no mention of it at the top and the rows don't match anyway. Whateveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

>THREE WORLD CHOICES
I don't know what happens if you pick Advancement and Magic Adventure. Maybe space ships, maybe magitech. I don't care. Do what feels good. I'm gonna say tho that suddenly sending world into medieval stage either puts a lot people into position where they must switch from IT work to subsistence farming, which will probably kill a people, or change their skills, memories and possibly personalities to fit their new life, which could be argued to be a kind of murder. Unless the new wizard working is exactly like IT work, in which case you just replaced tech with magic and nothing changed. Good news however is that God really doesn't give a shit so who cares. I mean, he did offer the fucking Immortality. Maybe you'll get to bang a monstergirl. Except there's no charmisma upgrade so probably not.

>PERSONAL:
>Immortality
It's the good kind of immortality, kinda. No damage resistance, healing or pain immunity. Try to not get hurt.

>Malakhim
Angel waifu servant with big titties. Might have some kind of submission fetish. Even if you aren't into it, you get a free maid and if you don't pick her, she will be stuck in Heaven while God fucks off to bother the wizard, so maybe consider helping her escape.

>Mirror, Mirror
Guess God is just giving you shapeshifting powers because that will I don't fucking know, what the fuck God?

>Protagonist
Mirror can turn you into anime chick and now you can live anime too. Congrats, the struggle is over, anime is real.

>Multiplayer
Much like in video games, this is here to excuse the weak single player content.

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>>53218949
Can we dedicate this thread to sad feline related cyoas?

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>>53218949
Did you forget this, or did you not have it?
Or were you just about to post it and I got around to it just a little bit quicker than you (again)?

>>53218993
We need more sad CYOAs in general. This place needs to be as depressed as I am.

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>>53218993
No. We'll have happy cats.

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>>53218993
Do you want me to make a depressing pet CYOA?

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>>53218995

The mandatory. I'm not sure why this is even a thing with the Mirror. I'm honestly not sure what's even going on with this CYOA. It feels like it's some half finished WIP do not steal but the Drive had several version and layout looks finished.

Let's see what Satan has to offer.

>>53219046
>>53219072
>I'm not sure why this is even a thing with the Mirror.
Because people kept asking for it, IIRC.

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>>53219072
In suprise twist, Satan's offers aren't nowhere near as bad as the humanity lump, what the fuck God?

>>53219046
It's old as balls. Most CYOAs from when it was made would amount to quickly-forgotten shitposts now.

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>>53219035
Happy you say?

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I DON'T SEE ENOUGH BOYS' LOVE

>>53219159
>>>/y/

Another torched thread

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I'm posting this in hopes tha- Hope is firs step on road to disappointment. Whatever.

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>>53218995
>Be the little girl
>Cuteness overload
>Sweets
>Sporty
>Magical girl

Time to punish evil with the justice of fire!

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>>53219242

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>>53219242
You should never lose hope.

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>>53219260

>cyoa offers you immortality for no reason
>stop reading and start shitposting

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>>53219279

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>>53219284
>cyoa offers you perfect immortality
>without letting you change your appearance

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>>53219304

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I'm trying to murder all shitposters with my mind powers. If any of you suddenly see a bright light appearing, please walk into it.

>>53219324

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Give me some magical hobo related item ideas.

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>>53219345

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>>53219353

>disregard hobos
>acquire husbandos

>spend one hour trying to balance numbers for a category
>keep upping the numbers into absurdity to get enough granularity
>forgot to link two columns.

Shoot me now.

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>>53219371

>>53219353
Bag of Holding
Magical papers that always give the user credentials to be in an area
Ring of social invisibility
Sleeping bag of protection from elements.
Flute of animal charming

>>53219258
You forgot to list your choices for the first page: >>53218949

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>>53219398

>>53219353
A can of soup you can't open properly, but unless someone does, it'll give you a meal's worth of tomato soup a day.

>>53219390
>link columns.
Sorry what do you mean by this? I'm trying to balance my own one.

>>53219308
But >>53218949 lets you pick both?

WORM 5 Update Version
I heard you were making it.
Is there a WIP?

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>>53219353
Unnagrounds hobo civilisation.

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>>53219436

>>53219427
I didn't make any because free will is an illusion and none of our choices matter.

Also someone else posted the box and I messed up my posts because I had to edit it on fly and decided to post the satan cyoa.

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>>53219493

>>53219098
wtf jesus, I just wanted to be on your side

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>>53219512

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>>53219528

>>53219098
So this is basically "It's such a beautiful day" the cyoa option.

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>>53219531

>>53219448
I used an openoffice calc sheet to calculate possible combinations of interacting choices because I didn't want things to vary too much.

I had a bunch of static data and then lots of cells with possible mechanics. To make the changing of the mechanics easier I duplicated some of the static entries. But when edited the data I forgot to edit the duplicate too and some of the cells were still pointing at those.

The affected cells had a mechnic in them that actually supported the error, so I didn't notice.

>>53219459
I'll probably finish it tomorrow or the day after that. There is no need for a WIP.

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>>53219579

>>53219427
I didn't even notice they were connected. I don't like any of the choices that affect everyone, but I'll take Love because it seems the least negative. I'll take Mirror, mirror for myself so I can get a penis for banging the waifu.

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>>53219596

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>>53219608

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>>53219631

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>>53219647

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>>53219675

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>>53219724

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>>53219744

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>>53219744

ENOUGH WITH THE WAIFUS

>>53219779
>le pretend to be against waifus to get more waifus trick

I'm a professional. You can't fool me, old man.

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>>53219777

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>>53219779
Yes, we need more husbandos.

>>53219779
>>>53219531
Tell me about it. How fucking long is this shit?

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>>53219830

>>53219353
Bindle Bundle: Has any normal hand held gear a hobo could need when tapped and unfolded. Things like matches, smokes, fishing rod, water purifier etc..

Magnificent Mulligan: Everfull stew, tastes better the more other hobos contribute to it.

Suave Top Hat: When worn gives you the gift of gab. Able to talk people into doing mostly reasonable things. Has a subtle aura of trust and charisma.

Briquette Banjo: Small shovel that lights a fire on command or gives off heat.

California Blanket: Magical old newspaper section that will stave off bad weather and make any surface comfortable to sleep on.

Maeve Medallion: Turns you into the little girl hobo.

7 League Loafers: Worn shoe insert that lets you travel 21 miles with a few steps.

>>53219849
I wonder why it's so fucking shit.

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>>53219851

>>53219849
29 pages. Not too bad. Someone posted The Order couple threads ago, that one is about 45.

>>53219849
It never ends Anon, this thing is gonna kill us all.

>>53219849
26 pages

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>>53219879

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>this thread

>>53219879
See, with this much content we really would need a website/program for display to save space.

Who even has the patience/time to upload such a mege cyoa?

>>53219875
>>53219419
>>53219442

I might be using all of this, thank you for your contribution.

>>53219353
A magical locket that you can store money in. People who find it instead of seeing the money will see a picture of you and a made-up family member like a daughter that invokes a feeling of sympathy and compels them to return it to you.

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>>53219977

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1/5

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>>53220001

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>>53219916
Who, indeed.

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>>53220019

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>>53220018
2/5

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>>53220038

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>>53220040
3/5

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>>53219767
Also, someone started posting pages in the middle of me posting them and now apparently deleted one of them?
I mean, it's nice since the order doesn't matter so much for this but I was near the end anyway.

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>>53220063

>>53219926
Broken Timepiece: Lets you rewind time by 15 minutes, without affecting yourself if you desire. Enjoy that meal a second time.

Cowardly Compass: points north regardless of magnetic fields. On command points to the safest way out of any situation/area you're in.

Rusty Pocketknife. Lets you carve hobo nickles or wood into masterful items/art for sale/trade to others

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>>53220066
4/5

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>>53219977
Posting the new info collections since the new CYOA was posted.

>>53220040
No, that's the 5th page. Pages 2, 3, and 4 are companions.

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>>53220109
for some reason in the drive it had it as 2, so I went with it
>>53220103
5/5

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>>53220109
>new CYOA
Meant "newer version of the CYOA", as opposed to the older one.

>>53219242
The issue with this one is that you choose one waifu and then the options that waifu presents are usually a mix of good and stupid so it feels like any other decision is made for you.

That and given its a waifu CYOA over 20 something pages long I can't help but feel that maybe the waifus could have used more than one character trait each.

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for fuck sake stop posting 30 pages long CYOA, there should be a max page authorized like 10 or 5 because fuck. Ways too much waifu CYOA too and the waifus are all little girl, it doesnt fucking interests me i want WOMAN with EXPERIENCE and not happy or cute that will suck you the first time you meet her

also this "being a little girl" meme
this break the CYOA

>>53220244
Relax, Italics, no need to be so mad.

>>53220244
end of rine

>>53220244
You couldn't make it more obvious that you're trying to stuff as many disliked opinions as possible into your post to trigger a response.

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>>53220244

>>53219261
SHSL Hope Dope!

>>53220244
I know you're a shitpost, which terrifies me as I agree with everything you said.

>>53219261
>>53220406
SHSL CYOA when?

>>53220407
Indeed. It is good for a waifu to have sampled as many dicks as possible to gain experience for pleasing me.

>>53219459
>wanting WiP's
Disgusting

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>>53219261
HOPE IS AN ILLUSION

>>53220376
Except everything he is saying is correct.
As much as I love beri's work he makes shit waifus, and 30 pages of bland waifu shit is too much

>>53220515
Post CYOA you like instead of whining about people posting CYOA they like.

>>53220515
I agree, Beri's writing is generally shit and uses this cutesy aesthetic in a horrible way. There really aren't any CYOAs with good writing though.

>>53220515
>>53220534
>CYOA author is well-liked and responsive.
>Shit on him out of jealousy and spite.
Reminds me of how anther author has been treated lately.

>>53220527
I do. Besides your complaining about my complaints are just as useless

>>53220552
>I do
Do so right now.

>>53220549
>Any complaint is invalid because the author is popular
As I said though, I do actually like him, but he makes uninteresting bland character with one note personality. The fairy one was the worst because all their personalities were just basic manifestations of their powers.

>>53220569
>I like him but I hate everything he makes.
Though like I pointed out, you're the anti-DSA guy with a new target.

>>53220528
>>53220561
>being so obsessed with your fetish that you see it in everything.

>>53220549
I'm not shitting on Beri, he's a good guy and all that. His writing is shit and it hasn't improved even a smidgeon in all the cyoa he makes. This isn't comparable to the DSA shitposting because that's just one dude with autism.

>>53220557
You first.
>>53220586
No I'm not. And he does more than make characters. Is really so hard to accept that people have issues with authors you like?

>>53220596
Tell us you have autism won't change anything, anon. We know it's you.

>>53220608
Stop shitposting to try and drive authors out because they don't make content you like.

>>53220621
I'm not. Stop assuming I am. People can dislike things people do without wanting to get rid ot them. Your autistic whiny sounds more like anti-DSA than anyone else here. Grow up, people can have different opinions than you

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Mox is objectively best, unless you are furry brony, then feel free to pick Nero

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>>53220651
>I'm not.
>Unsolicited shitposting and bitching about an author you know is sensitive to that kind of shit.
>Not trying to drive him out.

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>>53220663
It's the best! Beats the rest!

>>53220528
How anyone reaches that conclusion is beyond me.

>>53220663
Purest love.

>>53220663
Hey, I never said anything about incest. I just said it's stupid to raise your daughter in a way that doesn't leave her cold and hateful of the everything in the world other than you.

I believe that my desire for a slightly broken human being to practically worship me as the only thing good in life is born out of the twisting of some desire for unconditional love directed at me and me alone.

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>>53220671
This isn't a safespace anon, I'm sure Beri is adult enough to accept a tiny bit of criticism.As I said anyway I like his stuff for the most part, but he has issues with writing characters.

>>53220665
>not wanting Nero to turn you into a tentacle monster so you can ram it in her in all holes at once.

>>53220696
Is it still morally reprehensible if you want to be the shota?

>>53220708
And I just think his writing is shit. Like nigger pick up a fucking book and read jesus christ your sentence structure is so predictable it hurts.

Also is Beri american or is english not his first language? I need to know how incredulous I should feel.

>>53220719
Is it wrong that I want to rub my cunny all over Sensei?

>>53220364
..............................RINE ENDS HERE

>>53220708
It's not, but that doesn't keep you from being a jackass for trying to get rid of people.

>>53220665
> not Chalice

Chalice best girl.

>>53220750
I'm not anon, I'm stating my opinions. I'm not anti-DSA guy, I'm not anti SDA, I'm not even anti-Angel, I even care her some suggestions and told her what I liked about some of her stuff. I want beri to stay, but I also want him to improve, if he so wishes, as a writer, and that will never happen if you make it so no one can point out issues.

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>>53220707
>That spoiler

>>53220665
Nero is amazing. Who made this glorious CYOA?

>>53220696
The only kind of incest I tolerate is shotadom involving shota x older guy.

Oddly, it never features in cyoas.

>>53220778
Yes, your wonderful issues of 'I hate waifus CYOAs so stop making them'

>>53220784
Italics "If you don't like NTR I'll drive you over with my car"

>>53220790
Or at least make them with more depth at least?

>>53220665
>implying
Chalice is the best

>>53220818
The issue is that you're not providing criticism. You're whining about your taste.

The only thing I dislike about Beri is that he has this tendency to interconnect his cyoas.

He sounds pretty cute too. I imagine him as a cute boy with long hair and a small flaccid cock he's shy about.

>>53220868
I like basically all his stuff. I think his character writing is cute too, especially since I don't mind some cutesy themes from time to time. I can understand how some people might prefer a dark and gritty tone instead, but when they whine about things with an obvious ulterior motive they're just being shitheads.

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>>53220868
The only thing I dislike from him is the fact that he uses the same font in every CYOA.

>He sounds pretty cute too.
I'm gonna stop reading there.

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>>53220897
Don't lie. You read it and you like that image of Beri.

>>53220778
>I want beri to stay, but I also want him to improve, if he so wishes, as a writer, and that will never happen if you make it so no one can point out issues.
Been meaning to ask this, but could you perchance give some more detailed examples of what part of his writing is poor, and how something sufficiently similar might've been handled by someone who sucks less at writing? As an uncultured swine (self-deprecating humor or somesuch, not hostile sarcasm) I'm honestly curious about it at this point. Plus I'd think that a detailed "here's what sucks, here's how it could be done better" would produce better (or quicker, or whatever) results regarding the whole "let's get Beri to write more good" thing.

>>53220897
>The only thing I dislike from him is the fact that he uses the same font in every CYOA.
And the one(?) time he tried to use something different, he got backlash for the font being unreadable. IIRC, he's accepting suggestions, though.

>>53220897
>The only thing I dislike from him is the fact that he uses the same font in every CYOA
This. I wouldn't mind it if it was a good font.

>>53220868
>picturing beri as anything other than a goo girl
You're doing it wrong.

>>53220783
I don't need your hugs.

I will make my own.

I will make my own and they will be mine.

>>53220921
>he's accepting suggestions
I told him that he has plenty to work with even if he hasn't gone scouting for different font styles. I prefer regular fonts over the one he uses regularly.

Maybe not Times New Roman. I don't know why but I just don't like that font. Arial is cool, though.

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>>53220946
I'll compromise.

If I'm doing elemental powers, what should fire be associated with besides just throwing it at people or lighting candles?

>>53220985
Passion.
Life.
Loss.
Warmth.

>>53220985
Your question is kinda vague.

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>>53220985
igniting the flame in our hearts

>>53220985
''Read'' Ashes to look in to the past of the burnt thing

>>53221006
But you have no heart?

>>53221004
Yeah, that's why I had trouble answering it.

>>53221003
>>53221006
Less direct than what I've got for the other elements, but I suppose that's something I can work with.

>>53221023
Nice, thanks.

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>>53221070

>>53220825
Do you like the waifus he writes? Like do you honestly feel yourself immersed reading the fifth hundred girl whose description goes "WHOOPSIE I'M SUCH A KLUTZ HEHEHE I LIKE LOLLIPOPS AND RAINBOWS AND HAVE CANDY POWERS AND HERE'S THREE ADJECTIVES THAT DESCRIBE ME" because that's just about every one of his girls and his style rarely changes.

Anon, it's bad writing, he can afford to get much better and stop trying to express emotion via egregious overuse of exclamation and question marks.

>>53220959
SDA, is there an estimation of time of release from the steampunk waifu mentor CYOA?

I'm having to study something boring and that I don't intend to use for some time, the only thought to motivate me to study it besides passing the course is "maybe one day I will have to teach it to someone".

I was thinking maybe with luck such CYOA could make me less miserable.

>>53221010
Why is Bio Chem labeled Org. Chem

>>53221084
Also fuck whoever reported me for saying I don't like Beri's writing. Criticism of an author is not off-topic anymore than this entire thread is. You're a big boy and you can afford to get insulted without crying to a moderator.

>>53221101
It's orgasmic chemisty.

>>53221084
>WHOOPSIE I'M SUCH A KLUTZ HEHEHE I LIKE LOLLIPOPS AND RAINBOWS AND HAVE CANDY POWERS

That's kawaii. You should make a CYOA.

>>53221111
These threads have a problem with thin-skinned poofs tattling to the hot pockets.

>>53220921
One of my biggest issues with him is characters. I think the issue is he tends to pick a single trait and go from there for the entirety of that person, and he doesn't really leave the impression that there's more to them either. I think the worst was the fairy one because their personalities were more reflections of their powers than anything else, The girl who could make potions liked to drink, the one who could make chocolate likes sweet things, ect. It doesn't help him that he has characters explain themselves in person, which to be fair was an issue of style gimping him. It would have been better if the brown fairy explained her friends so she could give more personal information without it coming off completely stilted.

Another issue is his sentence phrasing and word choice, he often uses the same structure constantly, so it feels like every entry is the same. Try to mix things up. Try to give me impressions of things from time to time to, give me a sense of the texture of a scene.

I hope that wasn't too vague or useless, and I really hope Beri doesn't take any of this personally, he's really one of my favorite authors desu

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>>53221145
True.

>>53220985
Stars, both in their current form and as the nebulae that they become.

>>53220985
Healing (Such as fevers and cauterizing)
Change
Ending
Nullification

>>53221153
>I hope that wasn't too vague or useless
Apologies, but in addition to being an uncultured swine, I'm also autistic to some degree. What I was trying to ask for were concrete examples, like an excerpt of his not-so-good writing, pointing out what's wrong in there, and showing a similar (in function) excerpt that is written better, and pointing out how the problems you pointed in the first aren't in the second.

>>53221145
>These threads have problems with brain damaged shitposters staining every thread with their posts.

FTFY

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>>53221153
>I really hope Beri doesn't take any of this personally
Well other than the post talking about a "small flaccid cock" I think she'll live.

She has a great supportive group anyway. We hold game nights.

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>>53221217
Your opinion pleases me.

>>53221232
>small flaccid cock
>she
>game night

explain.

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smoke some trees

>>53221232
In my defense, the cute small flaccid cock thing was a compliment. It makes him extra cute.

>>53221217
That has nothing to do with what I said. I have no problem with legitimately disruptive posts being deleted.

>>53219590
Tomorrow?? Oh praise god

>>53221314
If you make the people around you feel bad then you're being disruptive and I have no sympathy for you.

>>53220621
Stop being a retard. Sounds like the autistic guy made you paranoid, but no one is blindly shitting on Beri for delusional reasons, it's just normal critique. They aren't even being cruel about it.

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>>53221249
>Tree: Redwood
>Perks: Wood Wizardry III [2], Defender II [0], Seedling II [-2]
>Drawbacks: Leashed [-1], Lumberjack [0]

Maybe I should just live inside the tree. That would be best.

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This is still WIP, but I'm opening it up now to see what kind of powers y'all would like to see.

>>53221214
>Concrete examples
Okay, I'll do my best.
Take Clea from the fairy one. In around 100 all I know about her is her power, and that she's kind too the point of being almost a non-being, It kinda comes off like she's a trait rather than a person, which to be fair, it's hard to make people seem real in few words, but you can give a false impression of depth. Also there's no implications, she pretty much just tells you who she is, in the end she might as well have said "I'm really nice and have and spineless" and you would have learned as much and it would have felt the same. Who says things like "I think I don't have an aggressive streak or mean bone in my body" it feels very artificial. I feel like there could have been a way to imply passiveness without directly pointing it out.
It would also be nice to see some conflict in personality, people have traits that are opposed to each other. Trying to capture that makes characters seem deeper, even if it's a cheap fake trick.

For example from her, maybe she's overly kind, but she has a selfish streak that's she embarrassed to admit. I guess anything to add more character.

>>53221084
>How DARE you like things I hate!

>>53221118
Kawaii isn't a personality. And even if it was it shouldn't be the only personality.

>>53221585
Why not make a waifu CYOA where they're all dark and edgy like your soul?

>>53221153
You still keep spouting that bullshit about liking him despite hating everything he writes.

>>53221490
I'm not seeing a shapeshifting power, so I'd like to see that.
Would also like to see a more fluid alternative to the "harder substance" thing.

>>53221545
>Implications
I see you like those CYOAs that imply something shitty is happening behind your back. Bet Waifu Surprise is your favorite waifu CYOA.

>>53221627
>He only writes waifus
His adventure one, sans the fairies was really nice. His summoner one worked too, as it wasn't character focused. The portrait ones are always fun quick little ones, and I like seeing what he does with random pictures.

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>>53221545
>Putting up with selfish bitches.
Never make a waifu CYOA. You'd be shit at it.

>>53221670
Wow you named two of the myriad of things he's done.

>>53221627
That's not him, that's me, because you're not arguing against one person. And I do hate everything he writes, it's bad and hamfisted and leaves me feeling like I'm grading middle school story essays.

>>53221607
Why can't he make a CYOA where the characters don't feel like cardboard cutouts with three voice lines? Are the only options shit and edgy shit? Do we have to praise him just because he's a nice guy and he caters to your fetishes?

>>53221577
Go ahead and like it. I'll go ahead and not like it, see how that works?

>>53221657
I don't think you know what implications means. It means implying things, for instance instead of telling me she's nice, show me. The old saying "Show don't tell" exists for a reason

>>53221671
>Women can't have any flaws, even if they're minor and they work against them,
I said she was selfish, not would sell you at a moments notice, and I even said it wasn't something she was proud of. And a certain level of selfishness is normal and healthy.

>>53221545
>Okay, I'll do my best.
Much better. Now if you'd just provide the other example, i.e. the more well-written but functionally similar excerpt (which in this case would probably be a concise character introduction of some sort).

>>53221651
Fluid alternative seems good. That plus the chameleon thing should cover your shapeshifing needs, no?

>>53221545
I'm sorry you didn't care for that one much. But I do feel as if I should at least explain that CYOA a bit. It's something of a special case. You mentioned not liking interconnected elements, so I doubt this changes or opinion of it any. In any case, as opposed to the titans that prize order, honor, and hard work, I had the fairies to be more individualistic, playful, and mischievous. In going with their theme, I wanted their powers to all be an extension of their personality. Their personality wasn't a reflection of their ability. Their ability was a reflection of their personality.
I can't really reply to your claim that they're all samey any farther than maybe posting a few counter-examples from Soul Witch or Branching Heart. I'll stay quiet about your more general comments about my writing as I can't come up with anything that doesn't sound horribly depressing.

>>53221687
Nobody wants to force you to like anything. They just don't care about your shitty opinions at all and would rather you keep them to yourself.

>>53221721
>Being selfish
>Minor
Never dated I take it. Selfish people are insufferable pieces of shit that you can't live with.

>>53221657
>Implications means she's plotting to destroy you.

No you stupid cunt, an implication mean that someone who introduces themselves has a bias and you can read further into what they're saying taking that into consideration in order to treat them as a more complex character.

>>53221744
If somebody posts a shitty CYOA I feel it's alright to criticize it. You're free to hide my posts since that is your right.

>>53221721
If you love flaws so much, why not just wank to Harem Master and Waifu Surprise? Seriously. That kind of garbage with 'surprises' 'hidden implications' and 'deep flaws' will fit you perfectly.

>>53221721
If a woman's not proud of eating dog shit, doesn't mean she doesn't still do it.

>>53221766
Yes anon, everyone loves surprises and hidden implications in their waifu CYOA! That always works out well and doesn't piss everyone off at all!

>>53221755
Anon, literally every functional living being is selfish.

The DESIRE TO SURVIVE is a selfish urge, as someone who is completely selfless would defer their own survival in favor of the first person they ever found in trouble.

>>53221805
>Philosopher fag suddenly pretending he doesn't know what it means to have a selfish personality.
Covering your ass for a bad idea you're not even writing. Oversensitive?

>>53221728
>the chameleon thing
The what now? Didn't notice anything of the sort when going through the pictures.

>>53221739
Dude's just a worthless retard anyway.

>>53221739
I'm not interconnect elements anon
>in going with their theme, I wanted their powers to all be an extension of their personality.
Didn't you do that with soul witch too? I felt they were very similar in the regard. For instance the shota loving witch has shota powers, the tortured witch having murder powers.

>>53221819
>implying I'm the same guy and not just someone fed up with your misuse of the word

Projecting much?

>>53221843
Now he thinks it's a crime for two CYOA to reuse a concept.

>>53221822
Under Skin.

>>53221844
So you want to ignore context.

>>53221853
I didn't say that though. Beri said that it was different than the Witch one?

>>53221843
Yeah, but to a little lesser extent. For instance, the one with mind-control powers mentions originally using cute ribbons as the medium in simulations when she was younger instead of leather (or was it latex?) straps she uses presently that sync with her more dominant personality. And not all of them liked their powers either.

>>53221776
I never said hidden, I said implications. You're putting words in my mouth, please at least argue points I'm making

>>53221859
Ah. In that case the shapeshifting I desire would be more from the "fluid body" than the chameleon skin, as the latter doesn't do jack squat about your actual shape.

>>53221902
An implication is innately something that's not stated. Thus it's something hidden from plain view.

>>53221924
Implications don't have to be dark secrets. Real life people don't tell you who they are, you infer by their actions. Writing actions to show a personality in say a novel is implying that personality

>>53218972
>>53218989
People don't appreciate each other enough in "love" as it is. Give everyone "true love" on a silver platter and they're just gonna spit on it.

Beauty is only really judged by comparison. If everyone is equally beautiful, they are equally plain. Might take a while for that to set in since people will be able to compare to how things used to be, but those memories will fade quickly. For many people there is nothing worse than to be average, and if you can't distinguish yourself by climbing high, exceptionalism exists in both directions. I guarantee people would disfigure themselves just to be exceptional. Also for more selfish reasons, Beauty interferes with Mirror Mirror and your own ability to make yourself exceptionally beautiful.

Malakhim has no direct drawbacks, but she can get in the way of other pursuits. Specifically if you ever tried to have a relationship with a human woman, having the malakhim hanging on all the time even if you weren't sleeping with her or anything would likely spark some jealousy.

>>53221968
An implication is a secret. Nobody wants that shit in their waifu. They don't fucking want a goddamn surprise. That shit always ends poorly for that exact reason, and guess what? Something you think is 'minor' is a complete deal breaker to someone else.

Also, you're a damned idiot if you think a character profile should be a series of actions and not a description of a person. This aint a fucking adventure supplement. Establishing someone through actions, sufficiently and with decent clarity, requires far more words than stating who they are outright. I don't care if you think it's more 'immersive' or 'realistic'. This isn't real life. It's an image. It's a character profile on an image for your imagination game. There's neither the space nor the context for what you want.

>>53218972
>I honestly don't see why you wouldn't pick this.
Fear of overpopulation/resource drain from all the created people?

>>53221843
>I'm not interconnect elements anon
Oh, sorry. I'm half asleep & in the middle of starting a project & catching up on the thread.

>>53222006
I think the essential problem is that he has all these 'great' ideas, but he's never made anything like this before so he doesn't have a clue about how or if they even could be implemented properly.

Chief among his issues is that he thinks you can directly transfer good writing concepts for literature to the CYOA format, while ignoring the differences between the mediums.

Sure is autistic in here.

>>53222032
So nothing changes?

>>53221896
Sure to a lesser extent, though with greater number of words you used in that one I feel you're not really giving me any more depth. I just guess I wish there was a little more dynamics going on. I'm not saying you should write super edgy shit or anything, I just mean people got some depth to them, and some of the depth is things a lot of people consider flaws. I mean I'm sure if you think back to your favorite characters, and hell I may be wrong, they have something that adds that dimension. Maybe a little less cutesy and a little more down to earth, some texture.

I mean only if you really want, because as I've said many times a lot of your work is stuff I actually really appreciate and think is well done, and a lot of people really like all of your stuff. And I would much rather see you do stuff you like and think is cool then conform to my whining. Maybe it's just my obtuse standards, I do literary agent work, so I have to pick flaws by design of my job

>>53222006
>Also, you're a damned idiot if you think a character profile should be a series of actions and not a description of a person.
I was giving an example of the concept of implications. Not how it would be implemented in CYOA

>>53221994
There are objective standards of beauty, and you're nuts if you think men would find women plain if they all became beautiful.

>>53219977

Skill: Cooking
>The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach

Polygamy
Results, now!
> You get a baby! And you get a baby! /Everyone/ gets a baby!

Extra time
> I did say EVERYONE

Secrets
Private good-luck shrine
>I'm going to need some legit divine intervention to pull this off.

Aoi: Perverted
>Perverted enough to help me seduce and impregnate all the other contestants? We can but hope.

Suzuki: Deredere
Yamoshiro: Cousins
Lisa: Friends in kindergarten
Fujiwara: Childhood friend
> Easy-mode wherever I can get it

Maruyama: Poly-lesbian
>May have ways to convince my other wives-to-be to 'get along' with each other better

Kobayashi: Double-reverse-trap
> Only way to fulfil my obligations

Ogawa: Idol

>>53222206
Give it two generations

>>53222200
Post what?

>>53222249
That's not how evolution works, dummy.

>>53221490 >>53221500
So this would be the second or third time you've remade this? Telekinesis, longer lifespan, durability, regeneration, poison generation and delivery.

>>53222397
>this would be the second or third time you've remade this?
No? This would be the second time I've posted a WIP.

NEMESIS IS THE BEST CYOA TO HAVE EVER BEEN DEVISED

>>53222409
Currently on a spare computer so I don't have the file or files to post if there is more than one but there is a CYOA that looks like this one from awhile ago. The option that comes to mind is the one where the orphan who tells you of your powers and you take on the world while running from all the other groups.

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>>53222487
Oh, this one? Yeah this was me, but I wouldn't consider it to really be the same concept.

>>53222380
Not evolution, collective memory. Two generations and you will be dealing with people who have never seen an "ugly" person in their life. Their definition of ugly will be to nitpick the details in what we would have seen as objectively beautiful.

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>tfw there's a huge discussion over your cyoa

Feel pretty good desu.

>>53219531
Someone posted my atomic waifu!
I adore her silly power plant hat, but I'd never ask her to wear it.

>Space Heater
I don't actually need this at all, but I'd love to cuddle up next to her at night...
>Reverb
I don't really want to produce power myself, but I absolutely must take an option that allows me to spend as much time around her as I desire without getting sick. And I do have something of a size fetish, I suppose. I hope she doesn't mind.
>Spectrum Lenses
I don't really need to shoot things with a crossbow and I don't have too many uses for an indestructible shell, so I'll take the lenses. In contact form, because eye surgery is pretty scary.

And of course I'll train you! I don't know anything about fighting, but I'll help you as much as I can.

Oh, Chere...

I have issues.

>>53222516
Women would do that, but I don't see it being much of an issue with men.

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>>53220244

>>53221418
What happens to souls in hell?

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Did somebody say Nemesis?

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>>53222641

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>>53222663

>>53221329
Agreed.

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>>53222677

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>>53222700

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>>53222756

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>>53222641
>>53222663
>>53222677
>>53222700
>>53222756
>>53222771

Go fuck yourself

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>>53222798

>>53222470
No it is not, chiefly because there is no scaling for your own power in relation to who you choose to be the nemesis of.

You start off grossly overpowered no matter what build you go after.

>>53222798
Faggot

>>53222593
>>53219242
Oh, right, the items.

Orb of Life and the Library.

I'd like to have a different career and I'm not interested in being surveilled, so no strings, please.

>>53221994
>People don't appreciate each other enough in "love" as it is. Give everyone "true love" on a silver platter and they're just gonna spit on it.
1) Would you rather live in a world where everyone finds their soulmate or one in which they don't?

2) Do you think anyone from the world in which everyone finds their soulmate would want to move to a world where that's not the case?

3) If your answers to the first two questions are 'yes' and 'no', respectively, why would anyone believe that it's a bad idea to change the world in a way which guarantees that everyone will find their soulmate?

>>53222516
>Not evolution, collective memory. Two generations and you will be dealing with people who have never seen an "ugly" person in their life.
Same argument applies here. Even if you think that everyone will adjust and nothing will change, is there a good reason to refrain from altering the world in a way that makes everyone beautiful, given that most people would prefer the altered world to the one we live in now?

>>53222798
ur a jelly faggot.
>>53222834
But your nemesis is also ambiguous so you can be equally matched.
>>53222831
This is gonna turn into kindergardeners arguing which super hero is tougher isn't it.

>>53222913
Maybe if you stuck an "eventually" on there. Soulmate or not though people are still going to be shit. They are going to cheat, be abusive etc. They are going to piss their perfect chance away. This is especially true if they find that person easily and quickly, because the less effort and hardship and suffering it takes to get there the less they are going to put into not ruining it.

Or maybe you have a different definition here, where this is the person who will magically never cheat on you because they are perfect for you, but then that can only go one way. So unless this soulmate thing involves mind controling people to not be shit then there are going to be a lot of abused waifus out there.

>>53223012
>There is no reason to make everything better for everyone because someone is going to ''piss their perfect chance away'' because people MUST suffer

>>53223041
It's not making it better though. It's making it worse for those who might have found their perfect someone eventually, because they aren't given the chance to learn from their mistakes first. Instead they are thrust directly into their ideal and WHEN they screw it up they are screwed forever.

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I've made an update to Dream of Genie. I hope you still enjoy it.

Changelog
* 4 new Perks, 4 new Pitfalls. Little Sister's ending speech changed to reflect this.
* Clarified mechanics of Bonus Bottle
* Love Potion changed to Loving Heart, Lust Potion changed to Lusty Soul, Houri-related typo fixed.
* Changed Magical Medium and Glass Bottle, and Brass Lamp effects
* Magical Medium has a clearer picture, hopefully
* Psycho Childhood Friend title no longer covers difficulty star
* 6 new Accessories (now recieve 3 free), 6 new Outfits, 6 new Mundane Skills
* Clarified effects of accessories and outfits.
* Clarified mechanics with bolded text.
* Clarified Three Wish Limit in a way that hopefully makes Marid more viable.
* General rebalancing.
* General typos.
* Now in a handy JPG format.

>>53221418
Why no male version of Sorceress? Hot dudes are a thing too.

>>53223084
You know that if you screw up you can fix it right?

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>>53223109
To do:
* Figure out why some dropshadows are not saving and exporting, and why some that do save and export do so at incorrect angles.

>>53223115
Men aren't hot, anon.

They're fat, hairy and stinky

>>53223109
>* General rebalancing.
But what was done specifically?

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>>53223151
I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but this update was supposed to be part of a bigger content update. I've hit a writing snag I don't really know how to fix, so I figured it would be best to put this out since this part is mostly finished.

>>53221153
I couldn't possibly disagree more, I think.

Monstergirl Refugee Crisis is my gold standard for realistic, well-realized waifus, but the relative complexity of its characters makes it a somewhat bittersweet CYOA. Yeah, I'd try to date Fisher, maybe, but I'm pretty sure we'd drive each other insane in less than a month. This sort of drawback applies to most waifu CYOAs that strive for realism.

Beri's characters, on the other hand, are relentlessly... nice. They're not going to win him a Nobel Prize for literature, but their sweetness feels unforced and genuine, even though the hokey nature of waifu CYOAs (wow, all these girls want to date me? really?) precludes them from being believable in any larger sense. I think that Beri's waifus are wonderful for pleasant daydreaming wish fulfillment, even if they don't necessarily have a lot of depth.

>It doesn't help him that he has characters explain themselves in person, which to be fair was an issue of style gimping him. It would have been better if the brown fairy explained her friends so she could give more personal information without it coming off completely stilted.
...Yeah, we have very different tastes.

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>>53223199
Again, I'd like to thank anyone who posted feedback or builds. I really appreciate it.

>>53223176
I lost that changelog during an update, unfortunately.

>>53223244
Do you have any vague memories then?

>>53223199
it's a pretty big content update as is. Haven't read it yet, though.

>>53223217
What sucks is that he probably cost us from ever seeing another one again.

>>53223244
Do you have the full picture for companionship lying around anywhere?

>>53222641
Isn't mastermind really similar to guild leader?

>>53223272
Things I remember doing are increasing the costs of Phenomenal Cosmic Power and Domestic Goddess to offset the increased number of drawbacks, I also remember taking some advice to decrease the costs of Mini, No Misunderstandings, and Minor Psychic Link. I also decreased the cost of Magical Girl(friend), and increased the bonus given by Itty Bitty.

>>53223293
SFW version
http://pinkladymage.deviantart.com/art/Star-Guardian-Janna-646326975
NSFW version
http://www.hentai-foundry.com/pictures/user/PinkLadyMage/497102/Star-Guardian-Janna-uncensored


>>53223293

>>53223334
>increasing the costs of Phenomenal Cosmic Power and Domestic Goddess to offset the increased number of drawbacks
They were too high to begin with. Majority of the drawbacks are no-sells, and the new ones are no exception to that, and to get PCP you'd need to take basically all of them.

>>53223084
>implying you need to be a serial monogamous fuckwit before you can have a good, lasting relationship

>>53223012
Jeez, I guess I hadn't thought about that. Why would you deliberately hurt someone who really loved you? I guess I'd still do it, and hope that waifu-abusing shitbags find assertive, confident waifus who are trained in kung fu and gorilla warfare. Or... something else that gets them to stop being waifu-abusing shitbags.

>there are going to be a lot of abused waifus out there.
And so Waifu Protective Services was created.

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>>53222778
「 Winter’s Tale」
Power: Ice Bolt Projection
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Ice_Bolt_Projection
「 Winter’s Tale」takes the form of a human shaped accumulation of swirling snow and ice. 「 Winter’s Tale」tends to stick just in front of its user, firing long ranged bolts of icy powers.

DP: B (1)
S: C (1)
R: B (2)
D: B (4)
P: B (6)
L: C (8)

Stand User: Vincent Klein
A bitter man who had at one point in his life sought to find his father’s killer, he now spends his time as a vigilante hoping to protect the weak. Though he has no desire to admit it, he finds himself easily attached to others, especially those whose fire has not been extinguished. He has recently adopted a lively young dog.
Ripped as Fuck:1
Mentor: 2
Do you Even pose: 3
Animal Mascot: 5
「 Lollipops and Rainbows」
Power: Happiness Inducement
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Happiness_Inducement
The stand takes the shape of flower petals gently raining from the sky. All within its zone begin to feel happier and more at peace.

DP: E
S: B (1)
R: B (2)
D: A (4)
P: C (5)
L: A (8)

Stand User: Alexander
Alexander is a small and fluffy puppy who accompanies Vincent, helping to keep his spirits in check. He doesn’t like to watch others fight and when he sees conflict he will try to use his stand to calm as many people as possible. When he’s not making the world a happier place he likes to lie in the sun, especially on warm days.

>>53223371
Or you could look at it this way, Domestic Goddess used to cost 0 drawback points (IIRC it was 15, which was what you start with), while PCP cost either 10 or 15, I don't remember which. With most of the drawbacks being non-options you've just priced both of them out of viability at all.

>>53220018
Training /career: Mercenary and bounty hunter

Starship/ Vehicles
Phantom cruiser (9,500)
Sparrow fighters (7,000)
Ground-racer (6,250)

Amour/attire
Modern attire (6,000)
Mix and match; one part vanguard armour and environmental suit (5,900)

Weapons
Hydra shotgun ( 5,450)
Frag grenades (5,300)
Plasma pistol (5,100)
Laser assault rifle (4,750)


Misc/other
Cluster rocket turret (free)
Plasma turret (free)
Jets (4,100)
Containment cells (3,550)
Entertainment system; movies, workout equipment , internet ,music ,bar and video games (3,250)
Healer symbiote (2,750)
Insurance implant (1,750)
Scanning wand ( 1,450)
Escape pod ( 1,200)
Galactic charts (700)


Companions
Bronze Torres
Hoshi ‘ghost’
Miguel Castillo
Lamar Brooks
Thunder


Extra stuff
Custom melee; Laser sword (450)
Arm augmentation (200)
Location: space
Citizen perks: Helmsman, greaser, regular and yes, boss.

>>53223371
I intended to make PCP pretty difficult to get outside of a Marid (with the classic 3 wish limit) because it's borderline omnipotence. I don't want it to be impossible though. Are there any drawbacks you see that you think could be less instant-dealbreakers for you with a few tweaks?

>>53223466
That's why you get a lot of free perks. Domestic Goddess used to cost 12, PCP used to cost 25.

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Lasers are fun, right?

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>>53223519

>>53223503
So in other words, Dommestic goddess cost -3, and PCP cost 10.

>>53223217
>Bittersweet
Bittersweet is nice, though you could do less idealistic waifus and still not have it be bittersweet.

>I'm pretty sure we'd drive each other insane in less than a month.
But this can't be a absolute thing, there are plenty of relationships that last a lot longer, so wouldn't a realistic person be able to have long term potential as well? I'm honestly a little confused.

>>53223519
This cyoa makes me want to wear a blindfold and go around punching people.

>>53223503
How does the three wish limit work? three wishes and then the genie goes to heaven or three wishes and then if you use another the genie goes to heaven?

>>53223558
You have your goodbyes as she grants your last wish and leaves it to you as a parting gift.

>>53223151
>* Figure out why some dropshadows are not saving and exporting, and why some that do save and export do so at incorrect angles.
* Check the layer they're applied to and makes sure the little eyeball icon is dark black meaning it's on and not greyed out meaning it's off.
* Check the layer mode/blending option at the top to make sure it's on normal and not multiply or overlay or something else that may be hiding the effect.
* Check the layer style > drop shadow and make sure it has the same settings as the earlier ones and you didn't accdentally move something. An easier way is to right click on a layer style that is "correct" and choose "copy layer style" then r-click on an "incorrect" layer and "paste layer style" to paste the copied style to it.

>>53223519
>>53223533
>He actually fucking did it.

Absolute madman. Holy shit.

>>53223199
What's the snag?

>>53223586
That's like 4 years old.

>>53223601
No it is like a week old

>>53223622
A week + 4 years.

>>53223217
Not him, but differing tastes is certainly what it comes down to. I like Beri's style, but I'll admit that many of her characters do seem as if they're defined by a single character trait and don't really imply much underneath that surface aspect.

I think a lot criticism of Beri could also be directed to the more aesthetic, in general. Moe is very nice; sometimes, it's a little much. Like with anything, really. You can go too far over the edge of hidden depth and get something like Harem Master or Persona CYOA.

>>53223575
I think I might be using a different program than this, but It has given me a few ideas. Thank you for the advice.

>>53223590
The page I'm writing grew out of a request I hadn't considered when initially making the setting and mechanics, and I'm not sure how to actually make everything fit. That, and I'm just having regular writing trouble.

>>53223519
>>53223533
This is fun. I like fun. Thanks.
>Meat
>BIG BEAMS
>Rainbow
>Big gross eye

>>53223503
How does "Phenomenal cosmic power can blow up in your face" sound? That pretty much applies to short circuit, mischievous mind, memory problems, all things all people, not a hero, and possibly gold digger and turbulent mood

>>53223630
I'd argue Beri hasn't gone far enough. I love Beri's work. The colors are pleasing, the waifus are cute, and there's usually enough world building and choices outside the grills to let you spend a while thinking about different possible options. I wouldn't mind more of it, really.

>>53223586
Someone suggested this a few threads back, and it amused me so much I had to make it. So their request became the opening text.

>>53223601
>>53223622
Yeah, I just posted it for the first time last Tuesday. Wanted more people to see it, so Saturday night seemed like a good time.

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>>53223519
I AM MOLESTEROTH: THE GAZE OF RAPE
>HYPNO
>HOMING
>RED
>DEAD GAZERBEAM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>53223288
Wait, what? How? Beri left? Oh, looks like I missed a lot of this thread.

>>53220596
>His writing is shit and it hasn't improved even a smidgeon in all the cyoa he makes.
Have you read all his CYOAs? This isn't even remotely close to true.

>>53220742
>Like nigger pick up a fucking book and read jesus christ your sentence structure is so predictable it hurts.
...As opposed to the other CYOAs that get made? Have you tried reading one of those? Say, one of TokHaar's?

>>53222179
>I do literary agent work
Oh, that explains it! The style of complaint—"I really like your stuff, aside from all of its signature qualities. Also, you'd become a far better writer if you catered to my tastes"— seemed somehow familiar. Criticisms that are almost valid but largely beside the point: I'm not sure why, that's more or less what I'd expect.