>meanwhile on /w/izard 4chan When are they going to give Wizards

>wizards and alchemists think they deserve separate boards
>fighters, barbarians and knights have shared /mar/ forever

>>51923843
Mages and Psionics deserve their own board!

How dare those nature loving freaks invade every board!
Damn druids, Ever since their horses could talk they never shut up about it.

Necromancers should stay on their own board.

>>51923843
Damn geomancers, They're just as bad as the Druids!
Talking rocks... Ha!

Wizards of all kinds deserve their own boards

I want a pyromancy board and a necromancy board so I can jerk myself off for the next 8 eons

We *just* got another board for all those Geas'ing Generals.
Give it a rest for a few kalpa so they don't fold that board back in.
Shit was unbearable, how the hell does that take up 20 threads!

Bard slave, what do?

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Friendly reminder that muscle wizards are best wizards.

>>51924134
>>>/fit/ >>>/out/ >>>/vr/

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>Casting invisibility to hide
>not just hiding in the shadows

wizards? more like Pissards!

Where my wild magic sorc niggas at?

>>51924410
I cast fireball to light up the room.

>>51924434
All sorcerers are lazy pieces of shit and should kill themselves

t.sorcerer

>>51924441
>not knowing roguish types have an annoying habit of evading all indirect damage
>everything is blackened and easier to hide in
Nice going. I didn't know an extra chromosome was the material component for fireball.

>>51924498
>Escalation mage
You underestimated the size of the fireball.
The whole room is on fire.

>>51924498
I cast water breathing, and then create water to fill the room.

Golems are for wizards who failed studying and took up arts and crafts instead.

>>51923843
When potions stop being magical.

>>51924635
>2017
>implying all magic is wizardry

Read a tome, scrub

>>51924529
You underestimate how good these guys can dodge. I once was at a beach party hosted by the Thieves Guild where some chuckle head cast Tsunami. Wrecked half the city. The hosts didn't even get wet.

>>51923843
Never. You two do basically the same thing, stop acting entitled.

>cross posting from /pol/earms.

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>>51924654
>It's 834
>Still reading tomes instead of calling magic directly from your blood

>>51924529
That doesn't change a thing. The way these fuckers dodge ain't natural.

>>51924532
>I cast water breathing
Hope that works on blood, because any thief worth his salt is gonna stab you in the throat before you can flood the room.

The real answer is to use hold person and then blast him you idiots.

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>>51924711
>pseudo sorcerer
Get the fuck out

>>51924734
Also hope he's just a regular Thief and not a Spell Thief.

>>51924734
dont you have the pockets of actually successful people to pick and mooch off of?
go back to /r/

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>>51923843
So guys I specced into necromancy a while back, but wasn't I supposed to get a "summen sucubuss" spell after 400 years of training? By how many centuries did I just fuck up?

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>>51924410
>spending years learning how to hide
>not spending those years learning how to do literally everything

I can hide if I want to, and if I want to I can cut a guy in half, and if I want to I can blow him up with fire, and if I want to I can summon a devil to eat him.

Why the fuck am I splitting my gold with the rest of these fuckheads? They're redundant.

Oh, right, cause gnome ass tastes like honey.

And dont' even start with that druid shit. Give me a month and I'll have a spell to turn into a bear, and it'll be way better than anything some fruitloop in the woods can do.

>>51925513
You thought manipulating negative energy would get you a demon from another dimension.

I'd say you fucked up on every possible level, but your abortion doctor's pleased as punch that the worst mistake of his career beat the odds and learned how to read.

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>>51925513
>necromancy
>summoning spells

You should be taken out behind a barn and shot.

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>>51925513
>he majored into necromancy
>he though necromancy turned into summoning
>not major in any of the CEMSTARE

go back to your guild hall, hedge wizard

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>tfw mom caught me practicing an invocation

Should I just end it now lads?

>>51924598
I'm totally okay with this. One of my best friends makes golems, and he's a much better person than any of the wizards and sorcerers around.

>>51926953
>Invocation
>Being a filthy warlock
Yes, yes you should.

>>51923843
>wizards talking shit like they own it
The weakest link in absolutely any magic is the fact that a human (or another sentient of choice) has to cast it.
Remove that, and you've got a stable, safe, reliable magic-casting automaton that doesn't even need a mana charge, because it can siphon prana from the surroundings.
Checkmate, casters.

t. artificer

>>51923843
Alchemy posters are the worst. It's not even real magic!

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>>51923843
I'd agree to a new board if it'll keep you lot off my experiments!

/Some/ of us actually /want/ to produce effects our fellows can replicate for the betterment of their own lives!

>>51927568
Don't lie we all know you just want to make love potions and steal our women.

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You clothes are now blue!

>>51927735
SON OF A BITCH I LIKED THESE ROBES

>>51927724
It's both, you unambitious fuck nob.

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>>51923843
Who m/a/ here?

>>51927724
Like you had any to begin with.

>>51927844
Damn that Kirisame bitch, bringing a bad name to Wizards everywhere by getting caught for petty theft. I hope in a few hundred centuries she's forgotten.

>>51927724
And get like REALLY stoned, poison our enemies and sell snake oil to rubes. Why waste time transmuting lead to gold when you can turn swamp water and urine into gold?

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>>51927844
>that pitiful size of the witch hat
You're like a baby, watch this.

Everyone knows that the witch's hat is indicative of her magical ability, while her breasts size is indicative of her "magical capacity". You seem to lack in both.

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Some of you guys are alright.
Don't go to the temple tomorrow

>>51923967
>>fighters, barbarians and knights have shared /mar/ forever
This. I've got to deal with knaves and uncouth barbarians and yet I hold my tongue. I believe some of these /w/izards are cry babies. By the way, I'v been working on casting a fireball through my lance (using it as a medium, similar to a staff or wand) and I've been having some trouble. Any pointers? Before you ask, I have been able to do a cone of cold like this without problem.

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>>51927901
Witches must be smug above all.

>>51927969
>implying
That's the modern witch propaganda.
"Hurr durr, we're just as good as the classic witches!", bah!

There are only two acceptable kinds of witches: kindly hags and seductive bombshells. Both of them have one things in common. BIG. WITCH. HATS.

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>>51927901
Think again fuccboi.

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>>51927982
Worst taste.

>>51927998
Again,
>implying

Witches are known to be motherly. That's one of their essential qualities. Even the evil witches like Gruntilda are motherly in a twisted "evil stepmother" kind of way.
And there are two types of mothers: "MILFs" and "too old to be MILFs", i.e. hags.
Therefore, there are only two acceptable types of witches: bombshells and hags. Children and eternal lolis need not apply.
It's not like it's rocket science, mate-o.

>>51928013
Maidenhood and witchhood go hand in hand. Used goods propaganda can go and stay go.

>>51928030
>Maidenhood and witchhood go hand in hand
[citation needed]
Maidenhood is the domain of priestesses, not witches.

>>51928035
Nah friendaro. In most cultures the acts of magic are reserved to either woman who are still "pure" or ones who have gone past their fertility age.

>>51928057
Well, there was this fuzz about witches getting their power from selling their purity to the Devil or something, so I get where he's coming from.

>>51928057
>the acts of magic are reserved to either woman who are still "pure" or ones who have gone past their fertility age
Yes, and?
>women who are still "pure"
Priestesses.
>women who have gone past their fertility age
Witches.

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>106 moons since the great demon wars
> still hasn't summoned a succubi
>still hasn't cucked a greater demon
Liches get out.

Back to /pl/ with you all.

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>>51928079
It kinda makes sense that they have to steal power from male wizards.

>>51923843
Alchemy is one of the Three Parts of the the Wisdom of the Whole Universe. Alchemical knowledge is vital to attaining mastery of theurgy so you can make spirits your bitch. You can't split that wisdom up, everything is connected. "As above, so below" and all that.

Thrice-Great Hermes would be ashamed of you putting toxic board culture ahead of merging with the Universe and becoming God. If you want to spend your time shitcasting then fine, but some of us are trying to Ascend here.

>>51927982
Don't you mean MASSIVE MANA RESERVES?
The soft & bouncy kind

>>51927946
One concern I might have is fireball I'd a radius spell so there's almost no way to avoid hitting yourself with the backblast, as opposed to come or cold which is directed

>>51927735
Oh, cool, I appreciate it.

I was really regretting going for green. I think blue has a much more classic look.

>>51928255
The hags have the sagging kind, so no. But, yeah, a flat witch is an oxymoron.

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>>51928099
>Being a slave to carnal pleasures and base emotions like pride.
Enjoy your time in the abyss friendo, maybe I'll pay a visit when I transcend into demilichdom.

>all these fools with their petty fireballs and talk of witches
>Meanwhile I'm working on constructing a perfect flesh golem to fulfill those base desires
>And an intelligent iron golem I can teach to create more golems and thus begin my army
>And a few dozen intelligent asshole swords to leave around for those pleb martials to get them out of my hair
Get on my level

>>51928432
>he doesn't even leave a few dozen magical shotguns lying around
>he doesn't just make some more when the previous ones inevitably go missing
pleb with the sense of right and wrong

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>>51928432
>An intelligent iron golem I can teach to create more golems
[ROBOT UPRISING INTENSIFIES]

>>51928481
Shotguns are just horrible weapons when I can cast a cone of force for the same effect, as for "right and wrong" I don't know what those are, I tried summoning an eldritch abomination last week and it cleared out everything in the area except my floating tower, was nice, but now those martial faggots are at my door and it's rather irritating, so I'm just giving out dickhead magic swords so they fuck off.
>>51928484
I said intelligent, not willful, this one has a wet noodle for a spine and does whatever I ask without question

>>51928540
>Does whatever I ask without question.
That how it starts, yes.
I won't stop you, but for the sake of not inconveniencing other mages on the same plane as you, please exercise caution.

>>51928566
What you think I'm not supervising it's willpower and wisdom? He's the perfect servant

>>51928588
Well, far be it form me to hamper the intellectual pursuits of another mage. Besides, the worst case scenario is that your research gets set back a few months while the non-mages deal with the fallout of an army of golems out of control.

>>51928623
Well they'd be dealing with that anyways, why do you think I'm making them?
It's always been my dream to see a physical version of shitposting, and this golem army is going to make that a reality while I watch from my tower with my perfect flesh golem filling my carnal desires.

And then I'll come in, clean them all up, and put them to real use fixing all the shit in this kingdom, take over the throne and put golems in administrator roles, filling out all the paperwork we need to run this place right and making a utopia

Three thousand years I've planned this, mastered my magic, and now it's all coming together

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>>51923967
>>51924134
>Train chi magic for years
>Share knowledge and techniques with other students on the /qi/ board.
>Mootwo spergs out and moves /mus/ out from /mar/ and thrown them into our board.
>The resulting shitstorm breeds a new type of shitposters, who overthrown the entire place.

>/qi/ is a complete shit.
>The few of us who haven't looked for other places have been reduced to /qig/

Life is suffering...

>>51928282
That's why I try to use it for sieges, against flying individuals (fuck you Sir David and your fucking pegasus), and the usual peasant mob when they get all uppity about taxes. My problem more comes from the fireball either go off before hitting said targets, or the fireball drifts downwards. Maybe I should just stay with the cone of cold.

>>51927498

What in the Abyss did you just imply about me, you feeble-minded trickster? I’ll have you know that I graduated the top of my class in the Imperial Academy of High Arcana, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Elvish territory, and I have over 300 confirmed Counterspells. I am trained in Abjuration warfare and I’m the arch magus of the entire Imperial Artillery. You are nothing to me but just another conjurer of cheap tricks. I will wipe you out with exactness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Plane, this I swear. You think you can get away with spewing insults to me over the Crystal Ball? Think again, prestidigitator. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Arcane Tricksters across the Empire and your magical signature is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, you illiterate amoeba. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, novice. I can teleport anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my cantrips. Not only am I extensively trained in magical duels, but I have access to the entire library of the Academy of High Arcana and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable existence off the face of this Plane, you little peasant. If only you could have known what esoteric retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have cast Silence on yourself. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you god-forsaken fool. I will cast fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, novice.

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>>51928902
Well there is only one place I focus my chi, the crapper

>>51928902
>Using chi magic
>Instead of blood magic

>>51929261
>blood magic
>Literally offering your life to some other entity so they do your work, rather than just ordering them to do so.

I think there's board for those retards who can't into real magic and just play pretend all day while sitting around a table and throwing dice and cards, but I don't which one is. /x/?

Either way, go back there, or from wherever you come from.

>>51929305
Thou explain, friend?
(U wot m8)

You're supposed to use it as ritualistic paint to create scrolls or use it as a mana pool for yourself.

Or carve runes into yourself.

>>51929350
Semi-serious discussion here: in more traditional magic systems, blood magic (also called red magic) is closer to voodoo and other animistic beliefs. Basically, the practiser offers blood as payment to receive some favour from the entity he's worshipping. Usually, this blood is drained from some animal (the animal is expected to die, obviously), but there are some traditions which drain blood from humans, without actually killing him. Aztecs used to do this.

Blood is supposed to contain the essence or life force from all living beings, so offering the blood is a symbolic way to offer the most valuable thing (life itself), and from there it came the traditions of signing something in blood (think on devil pacts and stuff), or the vampires (given they lack life, they have to steal it) and even today there are people who employ blood as part of magic rituals.

>>51929468
I suppose you use mana like a peasant.

Wizards are cowards and sissies. Clerics are based. Druids are weirdos. Everything deserves DUES VAULT!

t. /pal/

>>51927946
>Fellow /mar/ poster
My bother in arms

>Casting magic with a lance

What are you, not righteous enough to cast divine magic?

>>51929555
Go home /pal/

>>51929590
/pal/ must monitor all boards for signs of evil

>>51929590
That sorta talk gets a wizard pansy smited!
>>51929602
>this post is clear of evil
Carry on my lawful neutral friend.

>>51929623
>Forgot warlocks.
>The Half-elf glares at you, Disappointed.
What's your opinion on white necromancers?

>>51929602
/pal/ was created to keep people like you out of other boards (primarily /mar/) and annoying all other boards so go home.

>>51929555
>/pal/ can't keep its shit on its board for many years, even though we at /antipal/ have long been almost exclusively on our board without spilling out like a bunch of spastics
Some things just never change.

>>51929663
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you are are newfag not a troll but don't ever mention necromancy or necromancers to /pal/ EVER.

WE WUZ HIGH ELFS.

>>51929810
t. TES Orc

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>>51929690
>Assuming I'm not part of the divine righteousness that is /pal/

>>51929663
>SMITE AND CLEAVE
>>51929690
>this post is free of evil
You're still a heretical piece of shit. I'm watching you chaotic neutral
>>51929725
>/antipal/
>ever relevant
Laughinggods.scroll
>>51929738
No, not at all. I appreciate hearing about all things necromancy, especially in person. I would most definitely love to catch up and discuss more necromancy in a more intimate environment. Why not come down to my interog-...guest room.

>>51929663
>white necromancers
aren't they basically arcane clreics?

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>>51929824
>He wears armour
>He begs for some magic display from some Higher Entity.

I bet you still use some kind of arm rather than your bare hands.

It's Sar-elam's remembrance day, Worship the true god of magic.
A god amongst men.

>>51929891
>He wears faggy robes that do not protect from anything except wind
>He will never experience the pleasure in ripping his enemys heart out and eating it.

I bet you still use some kind of scroll rather than your bare hands.

WHO /B/ARBARIAN HERE?

>>51923843
I move that we bring it up at the next meeting.

-Bar'Zyr, Undersecretary of the Department of Lore.

>>51929861
We do Asha's and Elrath's bidding.
>>51929840
There shall be no place where you shall rest, Agent of Elrath, For you have slain one of his chosen.

>>51929942
ORCS! (Worried shaking) Go kill some demons!

>>51929956
The mages? Here? When?

>>51929916
Fuck off, Sar. We're not making you a god.

>>51929942
Wait when did barbarians get their own board I though they were part of /mar/?

>>51928142
Seven more years.

>>51930011
It's their own faggy general containment thread that the mods are to weak to purge.

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>>51929350
>>51929942
>>scrolls
>Large, bulky and fragile.
>Burn after using it couple times, sometimes after one use.

>Not conveniently pocket size, infinitely re-usable cards, some of them engraved with counterspells.
>Even major summoning are engraved in there.

Get on my level, faggots

>>51929916
>god of magic
>not Lunitari
How much of a faggot are you that you don't worship the red headed, sexy goddess of magic? I bet you've got a gully dwarf entourage.

>>51930260
How do you get them to be infinitely reusable? Do you recharge them like wands?

>>51929942
Oh, my little wannabe orc, for those with the perfect body and soul, the bigger pleasure resides on the tiniest of the things, and the strongest armour is your own will and confidence.

Everything else if for insecure faggotd

>>51930279
How much of a faggot do you have to be to not worship a god who became a dragon who saved Asha and saved all of creation, Restrained Urgash back to the demon realm of Sheogh, And gave up his life so we could have magical untainted energies?

>>51924434
>wild magic
More like lazy magic. Can't even bother to fucking control the primal forces of the universe, just let them spooge all over the place.

>>51930260
>Not carving runes into your own flesh so you can cast without even speaking.
I see a faggot, And it's not me.

>>51930279
To be fair Lunitari is a bit of a bitch.
>>51930359
Didn't happen.

>>51930332
>Doesn't know how to made reusable magic cards.
>Laughingwitches.jpg

Do you even shadow realm?

>>51930359
>needing to become a dragon to save creation
>needing to sacrifice yourself to bestow magic
See, you're just proving my point. Lunitari is a master of transformation and transmutation magic, but she doesn't have to resort to parlor tricks to win fights. Though she appreciates a good prank. Moreover, not only is she one of the only gods not to abandon mortals, the other two being her magic siblings, she just gives mortals magic. No drama, no hot topic posing, she just gets shit done.

>>51930412
>To be fair Lunitari is a bit of a bitch.
[citation needed]

>>51930412
>Didn't happen.
Then why are we not being swarmed by the very legions Urgash crafted eons ago?

>>51930445
He died so we don't get buttfucked by demons every single minute!
I don't see your miserable excuse for a deity doing that!

>>51930502
You want me to get excited about a "god" that lacks either the power or the foresight, hells, maybe both, to deal with a demonic invasion?

Reexamine your loyalties, friend.

>>51930445
Asks too much of her followers.
>>51930459
Urgash doesn't exist and demons' political structure makes it impossible for them organize into a cohesive assault force.

>>51930584
>Asks too much of her followers.
Such as? She doesn't ask shit of her followers other than they explore magic. There's no price, no cost, no nonsense.

She a magic goddess who wants mortals to explore magic. Honestly, where have you been doing your research?

>>51930607
Local church of Lunitari, it must be a radical sect they required 12 hours of rigorous study per day.

>>51929054

Underrated

>>51930568
A demonic invasion that would've destroyed reality, No entry point was found, Only a god leading his armies upon creation itself, Until Sar-elam banished him and 665/666ths of his horde back to their realm.

>>51925513
The only way Necromancy is going to get you a girlfriend is if you cut off your own hand and reanimate it.

>>51926953
You have to be thirty years or older to post here, kid.

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>>51930332
You have to link them to places of strong magical power, different places produce different power, for example a swamp would help with a necromancy card.

>>51930812
>leaves home just because he got magic
fucking normies

>>51930687
>Local church of Lunitari
There's your problem. Proper Lunitari worship doesn't involve a church at all. Man, do you have someone who looks into cults in your area cause it sounds like you've got a cult in your area.

>>51930706
Yeah, still not impressed fanboy. But hey, if you want to slum it up, that's on you. Not everyone is Archmage material. Someone has to work in cantrip sweatshops.

>>51931017
>Cult
/pal/! Where are thee!?

>>51931068
DUES VAULT! Where is this cult?!?

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>>51931098
>DUES VAULT!
Ah, paladin humor: it never gets old.

>>51931098
LUNITARI CULTISTS!!!

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>>51923843
Ook ook eek ook? Ook ook EEEK! Ook.

>>51931145
Point of order, POINT OF ORDER.

They are a cult mocking true Lunitari worship. That's an important distinction.

>>51929588
>What are you, not righteous enough to cast divine magic?
Yes.

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I WANT THE LOLIMANCER BOARD BACK!

>>51931642
/pal/!!! PURGE THIS HERETIC!!!

>>51931642
Lolifags get out. /mar/ does not want you. /wiz/ does not want you. /div/ does not want you. /rou/ does not want you. Not even /mu/ wants to touch you, and they touch everything.

>>51931717
/dae/ might want them though.

>>51931778
Don't bring them in here. I may be a /mar/ that dabbles with /wiz/, but god dam the first time I stepped into /dae/ was the last. Thanks mate, now I've got to find some alcohol to push those horrors back down in my mind.

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>>51931642
Into Gehenna with you.

>>51931822
>implying /wiz/ isn't /dae/-lite
We all know that you just got into wizardry to summon your own.

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>>51923843
Come to this board type /pir/ No pirate or swashbuckling thread? What bullshit is this? You magic types get over represented. I'll tell you what you little shits.

None of you would be able to land a single hit on me in melee combat. I can out talk the lot of you and I don't need any fancy gimmicks to win. I use something called Skill.

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Who /dreamweaver/ here?
Literally living the dream.

>>51932129
>>51924134
Now shut it you scurvy git.

>>51932180
AWAKEN!!!

Red Templar ashes or Warp dust?

>>51923843
Urgash VS Khorne, What happens?

>>51932129

Adorable, the mundane thinks he is relevant.

>>51931978
>wizardry to summon your own.
Mount after Sir David killed mine? Then yes. If you mean succubus, no because I'm not retard enough to fuck something that'll kill me. If I was, I would be in /mu/ now wouldn't I.

>>51932129
I am a rouge that originally took up Alchemy to craft my own potions and I found out that I was very good at it. There are a lot of people that frequent both some other board and /w/ for example /mar/ and /w/ who come here because magic is really useful and powerful.

>>51923843
here I thought this was wizard 4chan

>>51933417

Whats magic going do in a gun fight?

Ever take a wizard on a boat?

Apart from being cocky, they are useless.

>>51933489
>in a gun fight?
I ignite the handle so it burns your hand.

>on a boat?
Have you ever heard of water magic?

>>51933489
I'm both a pirate and a mage, it can work

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> all these /a/ cross posters
You got your own board for a reason you fucking troglodyte
Only level 20 and higher can post here
Fucking apprentices...

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>>51933782

I know, right? There's a reason I use most of the time crafting these days, and don't go nowhere near my scrying mirror.

Who /arc/hmage here?

>>51928142
>implying the age meter shouldn't just list various levels of "thanks for condemning another mewling insect to this existence" until it hits death

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>>51932129

>>51934388
At first the /a/ and /wiz/ split was great
We could actually get productive things done with minimal shit posting

Then /a/ flooded the board again, scared away all the lichs and killed all discussion

I fucking hate apprentices so god damn much

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>>51935108

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/art/ificer here. Just won an old workshop on auction but the summoner who had it priorly forgot to clear out all his bound outsiders.

And by "forgot" I APPARENTLY mean "gave specific instructions to 'help' me as they would have 'helped' him."

I can't make golems with a water elemental trying to monopolize my time! Anyone know a good banisher?

>>51935398
It's actually simple, if I understand correctly you can just ask for them to leave and they will, banishment is only needed for combat.

>>51935398
>he doesn't drink his water elementals
You fucking puritanical tease. This is why it's getting harder and harder to summon elementals. Fucks like you fucking it up for the rest of us.

>>51935803
>>he doesn't drink his water elementals
I've noticed the last few elementals I've summoned have had very particular. . . shapes. I thought it was just too much time in the tower reading tantric magic tomes. Is that really a thing? They're really into that?

>>51931068
>>51931200
>>51931642
>SMITE AND CLEAVE

>>51935803
Not him but it feels weird when i drink my water elementals, almost like cannibalism

Who else /curses/ here?

>>51935803
She's a living being with her own potential. If I wanted an unthinking sex doll, I'd make a heated terracotta golem specifically for that.

Where is the mage guild?

I had to go fight off the perils of the warp.
I still have a migraine.

>>51936299
>cannibalism
Are you an elemental?

>>51937208
Nah, mage, they like it. Unless you're some negative energy infused necgro it won't hurt them at all.

Seriously, do you not talk to your elementals?

>>51937538
They weren't even originally mine. My specialty is artifice! I suppose we can work something out, though. If this all goes south I'm blaming you in my notes.

>>51937451
Fucking apprentice GTFO before we call the great moot wizard supreme on your ass

>>51937637
I'll get my department on your arse if you refer to me as an apprentice again.

I shall strip your entire families magic usage, Permanently, Enjoy being stripped of all that you have.

>>51937676
Wigga what the fuck you talkin bout?
The magic guild was disbanded by king fallek the living failure and moot baned them from ever popping up again

Now get the fuck out of my board before i call moot

>>51937741
I shall call upon kek himself if I must, Don't make me.

>>51937789
Kek was killed in the crusades of 1AF

>>51937840
......Have I really been in the warp for that long?......

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>Be me
>Be with a bunch of chads in some forgotten crypt, definitely not doing anything illegal
>We come to a couple of statues that are totally enchanted
>They all look at me for a dispell, including the qt Elf in the tight leather
>Dat ass
>Spaghetti oozes from my portable hole
>I think she noticed me staring
>So nervous I fuck up the dispell and flood the hallway with 43 ducks
>They all laugh at me including the qt, want to cast vanish on myself
>Have to see them tomorrow as well

Just fucking kill me now.

>>51938022
Fucking kill yourself apprentice
You have your own board for this shit
Gi back to /a/ were you fucking belong

>>51937604
So long as you aren't some /a/nt that hasn't figured out how to defray the physical costs of spellcasting and prime material - elemental planar interactions you'll be fine.

Just talk it over with them before. But trust me, certain elementals allow themselves to be summoned for a reason.

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>Have to share a tower with a female half orc
>Cast friends on myself
>Go outside and try to mingle
>Try to flirt with a qt elf
>Her party is there but i dont care
>The other fucking wizard casts dispel on ME
>Start spilling spaghetti
>Hastily recast the spell
>They are laughing their asses off
>Cry and run home
>On my way to my laboratory the fucking greenie slaps my ass

I know you're here, maggot. Which one of you cast the fucking spell?!

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>College roommates with summoner who loves making puns
>"Looks like this one's too hot to handle."
>"Chill out bro."
>"I'll show you I'm not full of hot air."
>"Dude this rocks."
>Hedge contract I agreed to prevents me from murdering him

>>51938358
>needing magic to make friends
>not being so fucking pretty and charismatic that magic just happens
Cry harder, tomefucker. Sorcs drown in pussy.

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>>51938646
>Sorcs
This is your dad
Say hi
He says that he wants you to tell your mom that he's sorry for raping her and giving her a faggot for a son

>>51938609
Don't be such a hot-head

>>51938609
>Hedge mage
>college
I HAD FUCKING ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT
EVERY APPRENTICE ON THIS BOARD NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE OR GET A TRIP SO I CAN FILTER THEM

Hello friends. I heard about this place on Scrollit. Can anybody tell me where I can find #bard? you guys are le best.

>>51938707
Try harder, sucko. Dad's a bard, and mom's a dragon. They've got a 2-person act they do together. They're fucking adorable, and we, parents and all their kids, get together on major feast-days.

Sorry the fates hate you and you lost that toss of the dice, buddy. Maybe there's a nice fiend you can offer up your "portable hole" to if you're into cross species. I'd avoid dragons, the ones that are into tears won't be nice.

Later, loser, Elilstraee's priestesses are in town and I'm gonna go bang out some interspecies relations.

>>51938850
Why does this make so much sense?

>>51938819
Fucking ivy league wizshits. How'd you get in here?

No wait, let me guess. You're dad's on the board of conjurers, isn't he?

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>>51931176
Who let that monkey in here?

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>>51938850
Oh sorry, i was too busy traking your magic signal
You should really use a crystal becaise holy shit that was easy
I already sent /pal/ after you
Also this is what you actually look like

>>51938873
It's a well known fact that sorcerers are chads, anon. Yes, even the sorceresses. Especially the sorceresses.

>>51938884
THIS
ISN'T
/a/
THIS
IS
/wiz/
GET
THE
FUCK
OUT
AND
GO
BACK
TO
YOUR
CONTAINMENT
BOARD

>>51938953
Sorcerers are chads
Most sorcerers have either been lynchd, murdered by there parents,or just fucking killed themselves
The only ones who survive are the adventurers or the neets who spend all day shitposting BOC threads on /e/

>>51939027
Meant to green text
>Sorcerers are chads
My alchemical experiment got out of its cage again

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>>51938960
I guess daddy's money truly is the ultimate magic.

Too bad it can't conjure you up some manners or dignity.

I ain't even wanna hang with you elitist bastards, I'm transfering next year to a practical arts program. While you assholes are masturbating in your astral clocktowers I'll be making real differences interfering in the affairs of mortal men, dispensing sage yet vague advice and trinkets I threw together in my backyard that don't do what you want but instead what you actually need.

Peace, bitches.

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>>51935108

It's a shame what happened to Vandrathal the Dire. Apparently he was researching an epic-level enchantment that would've physically prevented all those with inadequate grasp of the arcane from posting here, including sorcerers, warlocks, apprentices and so forth. He was a few years from finishing it when a group of adventurers fried him in his own lair. Always told him to get started on that Lichdom, but he was always pushing it to the next decade because of this project or that.

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>All these salty wizfags getting mad at apprentices

It's like you bearded faggots never experienced the same things before locking yourselves up in your towers.

>>51939156
Don't talk about lake calenhad.

>Be girl /wiz/ard
>been busy with spells and /wiz/ shit for awhile
>havent had sex in like 3 months
>decide not to summon anything because i always end up summoning an incubus or eldritch shit
>go to tavern far away from my tower so cant be recognized
>Meet cute guy
>really cool and smooth
>wasnt a bard so no disease worries
>Rents room at inn and fuck all night long
>was fucking amazing
>Next morning he's gone
>fuck, wanted some more, oh well
>Try to cast feetus deletus in case i got pregnant
>spell fails
>whatthefuck.scrl
>cast some divination on uterus
>i am pregnant
>Kid is magical
>Hot guy was a dragon in disguise
>Realize im going to have a cunty sorcerer child
what the fuck do i do?

Who /tem/plar here?
Magic-users can kiss my anti-magical arse.

>>51939354
Hmm... sue the dragon for child support that will result in them helping you take care of the child (the dragon will not give up their treasure and would rather raise a sorcerer as their child). Hope this helps.

>>51939723
What the fuck are you doing on /wiz/ you cunt? Go back to your containment board you raging faggot

>>51939354
Its your choice
Give yourself a giant target on your back for any crusader
Or kill your baby
>>51939099
Are you really that much of a new fag?
That you don't even know what /a/ is?

>>51939723
I am an /ass/assin (I come to this board for alchemy stuff and have natural aptitude with magic) /tem/plars are my bitch.

>>51939354
>relying solely on magic
>not falling down the stairs on purpose
>not ingesting a shitton of vitamin-c to force a period
>not summoning a minor celestial to take the kid off your hands
>not giving the kid to an adoptive home of caring farmers that will invariably lead to it becoming an adventurer
>not paying an alchemist to give you a potion for that shit

Int above 8 required to post here.

>>51938850
Fucking kek

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>/w/izards act like they're the cock of the walk
>"oh, look at me, I can do anything better than you"
>mock /wa/rlocks because they draw magic from patrons and pacts
>when /w/izards have to rely on incantations and the mana that surrounds them to cast spells
>not drawing on the innate magical essence that comes from within your very being

/sor/cerers will always be superior, you /w/ierdos.

I think im broken
I am a master alchemist
I made the philosophers stone
I have lived for over 8 million years yet retained my youth
I have made over a hundred different successful trading companies
I caused the fall of the world super powere leading to a massive power vaccum
I was one of moots best backers
I have many kich friends
I live in a tower made of literal gold
I have literally went to heaven AND hell
I think its time
I think its time for me to retire
Anyone of you who shows the most promise in the alchemical arts will get my tower and secrets

>>51940054
Read
>>51939027
>>51938953
Sorcerers are chads and everyone knows it. They are also lazy bastards who didn't learn magic the proper way through intense study and practice.

>>51940171
Dude you never retire you just learn how to jump to other realities.

>>51940206
But they also get no pussy because
You know
Filthy half blood and all that
Literally the only joy they find in life is shouting BIG ORC COCK on a elf board

>>51940235
What the fuck do you think i mean?
Im going to a plane with hot bitchs and a nice beach
Im not dealing with this shit anymore

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So, who's excited about the upcoming novel on the "My little familiar" series? Any nor/mlf/at guy here?

C'mon, answer this: what ship that never sinks?

Friendship!

>>51940903
>>51923974
REEEEEEEEEE!!! DRUIDS GET OUT!!!

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>>51939354

Have you tried teleporting the fetus to the Demiplane of Dread? I've found that solves most problems.

>>51941733
Dammit Gogan! how many times do i have to tell you that you cant use the Demiplane of Dread to solve ALL your problems!

Where my /art/ificers at?

>Suffer from tourettes
>Not the random profanity sort, I just spasm and speak in tongues randomly
>Can't manage any verbal or somatic spells, outside the simplest cantrips
>Problem subsides when I get hyper focused on machines.
>Can grind down cog wheels for hours on end without a single twitch. Or bathroom break. Or meal.
>Spend the rest of my time drafting blueprints and gathering what manuals I can find.
>Make automated armor, wagons, shields, crossbows, even a flying galleon
>Still get looked down on by wizards for not being a "real" wizard because I can't twitch my fingers just right, or squawk while trying to cast a spell

Seriously? I've chewed through more books than I'd care to count, helped lead to a revolution in the lives of the mundane, no offense to my /mar/ bros, you guys are the best help I could ask for in the shop, yet you finger wagglers still consider my style a "quaint" fad that will blow over in the next few centuries.

Get your noses out of your musty ancient tomes, and get with the times. Technology is the future, and magic needs to adapt or get left in the dust.

In the thirty years it takes for a human wizard to learn how to hurl lightning bolts and fireballs, I can outfit a moderately sized army in lightning bolt hurling lances and fireball spewing crossbows, along with a full array of other weapons and equipment.

Warlock should be fucking purged kill them all they're worse than sorcerers

larping magik is /x/'s forte senpai

How complex of a spell would I need to make druids fuck off from my fortress, like just make there spells not work at all, got any clues /wi/zard?

>>51943805
/art/ here, Mom and Dad were both wizards and my dad almost pushed me into wizarding until he found out how in-demand artificers are.
Mom even suggested at one point I become a cloistered cleric for CoDzilla power, but I'm not sure I have the Wisdom for it. Maybe become a Mystic Thaumaturge, but I'm not sure it's not a meme job.
>>51944923
Point them in the direction of some people 'violating nature' (read: doing anything at all with metal).

>>51944945
Unfortunately my fortress is a mix of metal and stone, so they think I'm the one defiling nature when there was no life here in the first place due to the previous wizards wars.

>>51944992
That sucks, man.
Let me think... Your best shot is Mirage Arcane, but you'll need a spell scroll for that unless you're high-level, and it only lasts for 10 days unless you re-cast.

>>51945021
The only reason I'm here it to study the strange energies and fallout from the previous wars.
Is there a way I can just block the spirits or whatever hippie shit they use for there shitty powers?

>>51940247
You do know what a chad is, right? Chads get pussy, Chads get mad pussy.

>>51937538
>Are you an elemental?
No

I would like to talk bout my fortress that I mentioned >>51944992
It truly is state of the art magic, by incorpariting the science of a world almost with zero magic I was able to make my fortress teleport without needing to use any form of elemental or spiritual plane, I still need to test if it it immune to dimensional anchor due to the strange way i use to teleport though.

>>51940247
Do you even know what a chad is?

>BOC posting
Necgro, please. Everyone knows that's /trans/muters.

>>51943805
Oh, hey, fellow /art/. You got any tips on reinforcing golem clay? The area's rife with the stuff but my prefrerred reinforcing reagents (obsidian, granite, and marble flakes) aren't sold locally. Should I just order on the crystal ball?