>The DM whispers into your ear

>the player slips her hand between your thighs

>everyone is fucking their neighbour on the floor

>>50711333
>"Diddily doo-dong tick-tock"

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>>50711333

>>50711454

Good news, you might have the autism

>>50711333
>he leans in and places on your shoulder a fat, unwashed hand covered in grease, sweat, chips dust and god knows what else
>smell of body odor and shit engulfs you and overwhelms your senses, almost inducing vomitng immediately
>his obese acne-ridden face, deformed and disgusting even by itself, is so close to your ear it's sickening
>when he opens his mouth, even wider than for breathing, you have to hold your breath to not faint. small drops of saliva fly from his maw, lined with uneven piss-yellow teeth, almost landing on your clothes and head
>he whispers horrible descriptions of depravity, his stuttering making it almost comical, if the situation wasn't so absolutely revolting
>finally, he leans back and tells you words that signify that the end of this nightmarish experience is near
>"roll f-fortitude"
>trying not to drop your dice on the floor of his monstrous den, you roll your tiny red icosahedron
>"you f-failed, roll for anal circumference"
>this is too much. panicked, you grab your things and run like hell, desperately trying to keep your tattered mind together
>the door is locked. you hear loud footsteps behind you and feel the floor tremble with each of them
>a massive yet short figure partially eclipses the light behind you, casting a shadow on the door
>afraid to turn around, you stand there, paralyzed, gripping the handle so hard your knuckles turn white
>"we'll f-finish this g-game"
>and just like this, the last shreds of your sanity are blown away, and only the laughter of madness is left inside your mind before you collapse on the dusty, creaking floor of the basement. the basement of autism

>hail hydra

Okay, this seems like an oportunity to tell you how i got together with my boyfriend.

>have male best friend who's totally into /tg/ stuff.
>hang out much, have never played DnD before though.
>so he introduces me to his group
>we have a really long marathon that went over 2 days
>ingame, my character split up with the group
>at one point my character meets an npc, but the other players were not supposed to know what the npc has to tell me
>GM leans over to me to whisper into my ear
>i'm not allowed to tell anybody, the information he's about to tell me - also, i have to keep my pokerface, i'm just allowed to reply with yes or no.
>He asks me for a date.

We're dating for almost a year now.

>>50711333
>The DM whispers into your ear
hail hydra

>>50711746
This would make a great Lovecraft story.

>The Thing With The Dice

>>50711909
Way to friendzone the first guy, you ungrateful bitch.

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> I'd give you a re-roll on that throw, but oh geeez, I seem to have a reeaally dry penis.

>>50711333
nice trips

>>50712191

The First guy and the GM are the same guy, I think.

>>50712191
i indeed friendzoned him way before that event, though, he's fine with it.

>>50713565
they're not

>>50712191
Spot-on impression of a /r9k/ poster!

>>50713602
No one's ever fine with it. He's either lying to you or to himself.

>>50713602

Oh. Oh well.

>>50713652

Sounds like his problem then.

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>>50711333

>>50713652
well he's still my best friend to this day, and one of my boyfriends best friends as well. i don't think he'd still be friends with us if he wasn't okay with it.

>>50713681
Oh my sweet summer child...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPC6328ulVM

>>50711575
yes, and?

>>50711333
>The DM licks your toes

>>50711438
>everybody fucks the dinosaur

>>50711852
I lol'd

>>50714186
I also lol'd here

>>50711333
This is why we got rid of quests right?

>>50711333
>Taste the rainbow

Or

>You have to eat all the eggs

>>50714349
>This is why we got rid of quests right?
No, it was because some people got really upset when there were fewer than ten threads on the front page after applying filters.

>>50716528
But the anon, the generals are still here.

>>50713652
I think you might be projecting

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>>50711353
Oh goodness I wish he would. My DM is uncomfortably attractive and super nice. I've started inventing reasons to be there before the game begins and he still hasn't taken the hint. Like, no I really dont need to show up 45 minutes before to make nachos for everyone and yes i'm going to do it because you like them. I bought veggie platters before you said that, guess why I switched!? Damn it.

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>>50717440

You know what you must do, right?

>>50717440
Maybe you're just ugly. Or fat. Or ugly and fat. Or a faggot. Or he's a faggot. Or he's occupied.

>>50717440
>be fat
>fail seduction rolls

You brought this on yourself. Maybe if you made something healthier than fucking nachos you wouldn't be in this predicament.

>>50717440
I'm sorry, you've been friendzoned.

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>>50717440
Then fucking ask him out.
Jesus.
man the fuck up

>>50717440
People will never ever ever take the hint, you have to be direct.

But then if things don't work out it will be awkward and it will never be the same and you'll drift apart, no matter what people say to the contrary.

Only you can decide if you want to roll those dice.

>>50717440
"I'm doing nothing, and still nothing has changed!!! Grrrr why isn't it working?!?!?!" t. you, dummy.

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>>50717484
No, thats never an option. OK, its an option, but like, not unless I want to go to jail. What i'm saying is maybe.

>>50717506
>>50717541
Yeah, I'm hella ugly. Like, "two sides of a barn door" ugly. But i'm not fat, I've made sure of that. I got to know this group through work because we all use the gym next door.

>>50717541
Oh shucks, you're so right. Maybe if I just ate better all my dreams would come true and the man of my dreams would realize how wonderful my personality is.

Thats it, next week its back to veggie platters and rice-thins.

>>50717683
yeeepppp, the work christmas party is coming up soon, with an open bar. And my outfit is on point. All the cards are now in my favor.

>>50717706
>>50717759
No sarcasm, I just might. Thanks for the encouragement even if it was a little backhanded (looking at you >>50717706 )

>>50717809
pshhhhhhh, you be quiet. I'm seducing. Very poorly but still better then your mom (oooooooohhhhhhh!!! Burn!)

>>50717759

I say roll them. Holding a torch for someone that doesn't reciprocate your feelings is for redditors and /r9k/ faggolas.

>>50717846
Just remember Anon, if your eyecolor is brown, and his is blue, please stop yourself there.

I can't abide you pulling a man away from Papa Hitler's vision.

>>50717846
>Like, "two sides of a barn door" ugly
I'm curious, but this isn't /soc/ so I can't ask for a pic, for a variety of reasons.

Could you describe why you're ugly? Is this "Boo Hoo I'm so uggo ;c", or legitimately ugly?

>>50717846
I can tell by your writing alone that you have a shit personality.

>>50717846
Maybe he's afraid to make a move because he has no self confidence and is slowly dying inside daily because he thinks he's a waste of oxygen and wishes he'd pass in his sleep.

Also what does projection mean anyways? I don't think I'm too clear on that

>>50717846
Jesus christ I think I know why this guy's been ignoring your hints

>>50711333
>check my digits

>>50716666
No, he's right, nobody is ever fine with it. If you can shrug it off, you weren't seriously interested, you were just putting out feelers. Which is the smart thing to do, it spares a lot of upset. People who were really seeking a romantic relationship with a specific person, and are rejected (however gently, for whatever good reasons) are going to have some getting over it to do.

It's a matter of emotional investment. If you've made one, you take a loss.

>>50717440
Stop hinting and be overt. Unless you're enjoying the chasing more than you think you'll enjoy the catching.

>>50717846
You don't get to call your own burns. If it's actually good, a third party will make that exclamation for you.

>Save or die.

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>>50717881
Jokes on you! My eyes are green. And once again, the mudbloods unnerve the pure.

>>50717898
ehhhh, I'm like a solid 5ish, maybe a 6 when I work it and dont mess up the eyeliner. The main issue is i'm just shy of 6 ft tall which is great in theory until you start dating. I'm under no illusions that I will ever be a model.

>>50717915
I'm basically here to make your life better. You know that dont you?

>>50717965
Babe, you just need to roll the dice and take a chance. Reach out to him/her. you can do this.

>>50717985
ohhhhh, you think? I wasn't afraid of that but wow that fear just crept up on me.

>>50718017
I think I can do that.

>>50718055
You dont get to call me on me calling my burns. If you were good you'd flip it into a double burn and a third party would gasp.

>>50718139
>i'm just shy of 6 ft tall
And how tall is the guy you're after?

>>50718169
A beautiful 6.5ish. Maybe 6.4.

>>50718139
You sound obnoxious. No surprise he's ignoring your "hints".

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>>50711333
>I whisper in my own ear

>>50711333
>It's free real estate

>>50718139
>Jokes on you! My eyes are green. And once again, the mudbloods unnerve the pure.

You know what, I was rooting for you until that point, but these Anon's are right. You are awful, and dude is probably just hoping you get the hint and give up.

I hope you walk come by early one day and see a much nicer girl walking out with sex hair.

>>50718217
>ou sound obnoxious. No surprise he's ignoring your "hints".

Oh my goodness, i wish he would be more direct! Only he can decide if he wants to roll those dice. No one else has that power.

>>50718246
>>50718217
>>50717985
>>50717915

Now, I hate women myself, so I get it, but this Anon isn't really striking me as obnoxious or shitty in those ways you're describing.

Not really sure where all this is coming from.

>>50718264
You do realize that if he doesn't want to, he will not, and your whining is absolutely pointless?

>>50718246
Why you got to do me like this Anon? I thought you had my back. You came to my sister's wedding and this is how you repay me?

But that actually sounds more like his roommate to me. He's kind of a player. But he also volunteers at a homeless shelter so like, I want to hate him but I can't.

>>50718288

The mudblood thing seems pretty obnoxious and shitty.

>>50718288
It's the location, swarming with faggots at all times of the year. I mean, I'd thought you'd have noticed, as part of the fucking swarm and all.

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>>50718139
im not even sure if this is bait or not. how can you not just look at your own posts and realize how cringy you sound. This guy can probably recognize a potato wyvern when he's seen one and has taken the wise option of just ignoring you until you give up

>>50718324
That seems like a joke, Anon.

I've been exploring /soc/ for the first time in days, and let me tell you this Anon is ranking VERY low on that obnoxious scale, after I've observed that.

>>50718367
Pardon me I wrote that all fucky.

I mean to say I've been exploring /soc/ for the first time ever the last few days*

>>50718302
No, i dont think you understand. If I want it, I can have it. If I want it more then someone else the obviously its mine right? I mean isn't that how the world works?

>>50718333
Im not sure if this is a burn or brilliant social commentary and it makes me feel less smart by proxy.

>>50718324
Wait, you didn't get the whole Green eyed/ mixed race heritage joke? I'm sorry dude.

>>50718364
You're going to have to specify, I said alot and like, a full third of it was sarcasm.

and if potato wyvern means what I think it means i'm totally stealing that. This was not sarcasm FYI

>>50718367
Thanks anon. I appreciate that. Whats /soc/ all about? I honestly only go on here and /ic/

>>50718367
>>50718424

Well compared to the degenerates on /soc/ we're all basically saints, but that's no reason to lower our standards all at once.

>>50718466

It's hard to gauge tone here some times, thanks to /pol/ and counter /pol/ posts. Also how do greeneyes denote mixed race heritage?

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>>50717440
>>50717846
>>50718139

Either badly written bait or shitty personality. Hopefully the former, because we need less bitches.

>>50718466

/soc/ is for hooking up and camwhore threads where autistic boys get boners for girls and then dox them affectionately.

Also slut threads

>>50718466
>Whats /soc/ all about?
It's a shitty place full of vapid people and teenagers. Everyone there types like they're retarded.

I wouldn't recommend it.

>>50718492
That was more exaggeration on my point than anything, the /soc/ bit I mean. I see no basis for thinking Anon's a shit, aside from the fact that she's a girl.

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>>>/r9k/


(pic related is the closest thing I could find to a /tg/ related facepalm)

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>>50718492
Honestly I dont know. It seemed like a good comeback at the time. I'm mostly dutch so I guess I should have blue eyes? Buttt... I dont. And he didn't talk about green eyes so I thought I could pull a racially charged fast one. Then he got angry. Such is life.

>>50718511
>>50718530
You see, now I want to go in full tourist mode then never admit to it. Let me turn on incognito mode.

>>50718493
Nahhh, we need like 40% more bitches.Bitches get stuff done.

>>50718563
Yeah. I'm not even going to make fun of them or anything. It's actually just sad.

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>>50718288
mostly the writing style is striking me as really attention seeking. its like the poster is trying really hard to be funny in a way that makes it seem like they just got out of school. (using brackets for no reason is douchey as fuck especially to call your own burn). also writing out personal responses for anyone who replies to them isn't doing the attention seeking theory any favors. none of this means the poster is a bad person or anything, i just don't think they are as charming as they think they are; or at all really

>>50718637
What did you expect? This is yet another attention whore that doesn't even realize what a piece of shit they are. The best response would be ignoring it.

>>50718637
Is your player playing Jester Thomas?

>>50718637
>>50718671

alright, you've made your point. good night.

>>50718637
I'm a guy and I write responses to people who respond to my posts. This is 4chan, it's not all image posting and non-conversation.

Also I disagree, I've seen much more attention-seeky posts over the course of the 5 or 6 years I've been here, and there's really nothing here to indicate what you're saying.

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>>50711333
>"Poleece that moo-stache."
>It's an Only War campaign

>>50718688
Its meant to be a a teifling pirate, I hung it up on the fridge to encourage the little scamp

>>50718752
Look man im not the guy thats been hurling abuse at whoever the poster is, maybe its just their sense of humor clashing.