Imperium Asunder

>>50484795
KASHALN EDITION.

What's his homeworld like guys?

Was he a rising star sorta warlord on there, or was he taken in by a ruler and eventually fill his shoes?

Was he fighting mostly against other humans or was there some other threat present?

>>50484871
Kashaln should be around. He might be able to give us some insight.

>>50484871
I'd been imagining something dry and hilly, with fertile river valleys and forests. The sort of climate that lends itself to city states and the occasional steppe Empire that manages to bind river valley to river valley.
I'm imagining a very stereotypical Indo-European feel to it. Where Anshul has all the Indian stuff to happen post Vedas-- Upanishads, Shiva, Brahma and the like, Kashaln is more Indo-Aryan, Vedic/Gathas. He'd be more about Aryaman and Indra and Ares.

I also like the idea of borrowing from Sub-Saharan north Africa, like the Mande society organized around the Sunjata epic. Non-Bantu stuff never gets enough love. Would mean that there would be two special classes, the jeliu, which would be story tellers and sorcerors and the traore? Smiths and sorcerors.

On the subject of everyone's favorite evil space Buddhists, how about a cult of the Varja from Space Tibet. They'd have a thing for lightning that dispels ignorance, but paradoxically have an intense interest in those who unknowingly serve chaos and those who resist.

They'd have gotten their start as an exchange with the Sky Serpents.
They weild warp lightning and thought constructs. Blades of pure thought, paradox lances, etc. But also things akin to the Abomination Engines of the Behemoth Guard. They ride demonic versions of wind horses.

Sorry for interrupting the topic at hand, but I was thinking about writing a story about Idrias Stern and I was wondering what timeline you'd like to see: Crusade Era, Heresy Era, or M41 Era.

>>50485688
heresy pls

>>50485774
Also did you get the reference I put in his blurb on the wiki?

>>50485688
41st Millennium.

>>50485300
Correct me if im wrong but isnt the intent to go through a systematically have the primarch stuff posted - worked on - and move to the wiki.

If thats correct we shouldnt skip anyone or they will be left behind. Even if we think they are "mostly finished"

>>50485962
I don't read the wiki

Storm Hammers will soon have all the fluff I wrote up on the wiki. Can't say for sure about the other things people invented for them.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>50485774
>>50485985

Storm Hammer culture now has an entry on the wiki as well as sample names, or at least their real-world origin, which are primarily Norse, Norman, Briton, Gaul and Medieval french names.

>>50485509
I agree with all of this, though it might be worth asking Kahalnanon when he next appears.

>>50486478
I was on board until
>space Tibet
After that it was just more of the same.

>>50486655
I think the Space Tibet stuff is about the Arms of Asura, not the Spears.

>>50485509
>On the subject of everyone's favorite evil space Buddhists, how about a cult of the Varja from Space Tibet. They'd have a thing for lightning that dispels ignorance, but paradoxically have an intense interest in those who unknowingly serve chaos and those who resist.
Personally I'm cool with whatever, as their original creator made them a decentralized force. That and chaos worship+various eastern religions is bound to create an eclectic mess of mix-and-match beliefs...which also suits well the nature of chaos, including their belief that paradox is an inherent and crucial part of Chaos and the Warp.

>>50487609
Yeah I know, its just nothing new to add, more lightning, more seeing through deception, more 'picked it up from the serpents/serpents picked it up from x'

Just not new.

Okay, so Kashaln's homeworld, [INSERT NAME] is an arid, hilly planet run through with long, fertile river valleys and dotted with thick, high-canopied forests.

It's primarily populated by various warring city-states that cling to the waterfronts.

Is Kashaln a 'rising star' type figure in his homeworld's history, advancing through the rank and file of some warlord's warriors until he stands at the top spot? Is he taken in by one of the warlords early on his life and raised as a prince, eventually having to defeat his 'brothers' for the warlord's seat? What's his childhood like?

>>50487792
That's legit. Mostly I was bringing it up as a potential force to have fighting the Serpents.

>>50487877
I imagine he would be. Probably brought to a local warrior chief and ends up leading the warband before expanding aggressively and pulling a Cyrus the Great.

>>50487785
>dispels ignorance, but paradoxically have an intense interest in those who unknowingly serve chaos and those who resist.
How is that a paradox?

>>50487877
I imagine but the time he is 10 he would be physically superior to just about everyone, so I think it makes more sense for him to be found early on in the ranks, then taken out and adopted by someone who wants to use him to further their own agenda.

At first he serves them, until he figures out that he is infact the power, and takes control for himself.

Those with the strength and charisma to rule do so, as is their rights. Those without the strength, serve, as is their place.

>>50488170
It's not, really, but it's a sharp contrast between the study of chaos in its pure form and observing those who attempt to thwart chaos and serve it by denying it.

What do you guys think about the name "Divgharan" for the planet?

>>50490605
Pronounced (div-gar-ran)?
I like it.

>>50490655
Emphasis on the first and third syllables, yes.

Bump for the night.

>>50492221
stop doing this sarco-sama

>>50492254
>>50492221
nou

>>50492221
>>50492254
>>50492262
yus

>>50492808
So the Silver Spears are all about being the best at a certain skill, and they use teamwork to make sure that this doesn't bite them in the ass.
Could that translate to close knit squadrons back on their homeworld? Like the standard five-man team is normal operating procedure?

>>50493455
lifetime squadmates could be cool

>>50493455
I think its more macro than that.

Like you dont have a guy who focuses on swords in the same squad as the guy who focuses on flaming and the guy who focuses on bolters.

You have entire squads of bolter only, entire squads of flamers only, squads of swords only.

It only comes together on larger engagements.

But yeah I like the idea of life-time squad mates.

>>50493515
Interesting; I can see that being something Kashaln cooked up after he took over the Legion as a way to get his kinsmen and the Terran Legionnaires to work together and ensure that no one aspect of the Legion could ever become a threat to him - they all need to work together so there's no point in infighting.

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>>Imperial Record
>>Ordo Malcador
>>ca. 784.M30

The skies of the Alban hives were black, as were the stone and iron used to build them. Plumes of black smoke churned out of cold iron chimneys. The hivers, however, were bone white. After conquering the caucasus wastes and subduing the europan warlords, the Emperor sent Malcador across the doggerland to bring the Alban hives to heel.

Malcador came with a cadre of Thunder Warriors, who already were showing signs of genetic decay and madness. Their brutality in Europa and on other fronts was growing, and Malcador knew that soon they would be retired for the greater Astartes warriors and eventually the Custodes.

Tha Alban hives stood on great peaks above the doggerland and pan-pacific lowlands. The hives were highly fortified, with guardsmen and anti-air towers keeping watch over their manufactorums and deep feral mines.

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>>50494582
The thunter warriors made many attempts at assaulting Alba, but still the fortress hives held resolute. Eventually, Malcador sent messengers under parlay, and to his surprise they were accepted.

Malcador and his escorts ere brought to the great chamber at the capital of the Alba hives. It stood at the peak of the tallest hives of the Tem. At the edges of the chamber stood dozens of men in gothic coats and high hats, members of the Alban hive's ruling body. They called themselves the Overseers. At the center of the chamber was an empty throne.

Malcador aproched the throne as though it were occupied, addressing the assembly. He told them of the unification of the planet under one Emperor, and of the lost colonies of the stars. Many of the Overseers argued, but they did not always argue aloud. Instead, they sometimes passed printed papers to each other, carried by pages and servitors. They would surroptoutsly whisper in groups, and scheme during "recesses." in the end they came to an agreement to serve the Emperor, under a unified Terran monarchy. The Alban hives agreed to join the Emperor in subduing the pan-pacific empire and eventually the whole of Terra.

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>>50494599
At the end of the proceedings, Malcador approached one of the parliamentary pages. It was a boy of no older than ten years, or so he seemed. The boy bowed, and Malcador spoke to him. "I saw you during the proceedings, boy. My eyes see much. When messages went between rivaling groups, it was often you who carried the scroll. When men were whispering in circles, you were always close enough to hear. How many scrolls did you manage to copy? How many did you change? How many did you not deliver at all? I saw, boy. Tell me, what is your name?"

The boy had pale white skin, dusted with the soot which coated all of Alba. His eyes were a glimmering orange, a single spark of color among an otherwise grey boy. The boy spoke in quick whispers, "Names have power, Malcador. Sigilite. You call me boy, so I am that." The boy had an uncannily long body, as though he had been stretched. He wore only simple clothes, clean and practical, but good enough to be worn in the presence of the Overseers. "I know the names of every Overseer," said the boy, "and so I have power over them. I know who they are. I know what they want. I know what they do." The boy looked at the door the Overseers had left through with disdain. "They cannot say the same of me."

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>>50494607
Malcador furrowed his brow at the boy, "I know your name, boy, even if you will not give it to me. I know you better than you know yourself. You are one of twenty sons of the Emperor, stolen from birth though not so far as we had thought. " The Sigilite turned away from the boy, as though he were adressing the chamber again, though it was only them. "The thunder warriors are unstable, their gene was not meant to last. They will conquer Terra but no more. They were promised the future, and will conquer Terra for that future, but they will conquer no further. The stars bristle with human life, boy, and humanity does not kneel easily."

The boy moved to sit on the throne at the center of the chamber. He did so quietly, behind Malcador, and the sigilite did not see or hear him do it. Sitting upon the throne, the boy spoke. The hall''s acoustics spread from that very point, and his voice filled the whole of the chamber and echoed down the halls to be heard by all the Overseers. "Who will conquer my father's empire then, Sigilite?"

Malcador turned to face the boy, looking him sqarely in the eye. He spoke by psychic means, his lips not moving, "They are not the future, REDACTED , you are."

>>50494582
>>50494599
>>50494607
>>50494630
Good stuff.

Also, I've edited Balthasar's backstory with what was discussed in the previous thread. Does everyone agree with this?

http://pastebin.com/rHq33Af2

>>50494813
Yep, good to go

>>50494903
Then I'll update the wiki when I get home. I kind of want this level of backstory for all 20 of them, including REDACTED, if it were up to me. We should only move on to the next primarch when we have everything written up for the one we're doing now, otherwise this will all be kinda pointless. We're losing a lot of great stuff by being disorganized and neglecting the wiki.

>>50495102
I agree. 1 down 19 to go.

>>50490605
Noice.

Shall we give his adoptive warlord dad a name?

Should he be in the process of warring over Divgharan when the Emperor finds him, or have brought pretty much the entire planet under his heel?

How does he interact with the Emperor when he arrives?

>>50495158
So we're doing Kashaln next?

>>50495821
I believe we've already started.

>>50495102
Seconded.

>>50495341
Mitra
Varun
Bharata
Khyrus
Padisha
Zarath Astram
Virasena
Ksatriyam
Zurvan
Aurangzeb
Mitradad
Jayapur

Hmm, this gives me an idea for a character. Got to check some PIE reconstructions...

>>50496815
Fair enough. I do wanna wait until Kashaln himself is around. Seems kinda vital.
Fuck posting on my phone by the way. I keep getting banned for Ban Evasion. Waiting for it to be fixed sucks.

>>50498119
He's posted a suggestion for a homeworld name and not much else, which leads me to believe that he has no problem with this stuff.

>>50498359
I would expect him to have the most knowledge of his primarch's origin though. If he shares that, we can work from there.
It's just very unfortunately that it's nowhere on the wiki.

Updating the Bloodhounds' page now.

Just so everyone knows, that not!protoss faction is still up on the wiki for some reason.

>>50497862
Khyrus and Aurangzeb are the best imo.

Okay so, Kashaln is taken in by one of these warring city states. He grows dramatically quickly under the watch of one of Khyrus/Aurangzeb's wives, and the warlord is soon teaching him to fight. He gets stronger by the day, and Khyrus/Aurangzeb intends on controlling him by pretending to be his flesh and blood father, but Kashaln can tell from how the warlord's wives act around him that none of them is his mother.

He conquers many other city-states at his 'father's' side, and, later, when the man is growing older, in his name. Eventually an old and guilty Khyrus/Aurangzeb tells him the truth, and Kashaln reveals that he had known for some time, but deemed his 'father' a worthy lord - he provided for his warriors and enshrined them upon the common masses, gave them wars to fight and spoils to claim, and lead well while he still had breath in him. Kashaln may have never thought of him as a father, but he respected him as a lord. Khyrus/Aurangzeb, still feeling guilty by the deception, greatly moved by his son's revelation, and finding a little religion on his deathbed, proclaims Kashaln a truer heir than any of his biological sons. The result is that many of Kashaln's 'brothers' rally against him, splitting apart his father and tutor's realm, and he leads a long war to stabilize and expand the realms Khyrus/Aurangzeb and he had carved out. It during this period that the Imperium arrives.

How does that sound? Do we want the Emperor to come for him, or do we want first contact to be via another Primarch?

>>50499415
Kill it.

While we're on the subject of the wiki, do we have a category page?

>>50499523
I want the first alien he meets to be Anders, if that is possible.

>>50499415
Initiate Exterminatus.

>>50499572
>>50499896
I'm not sure how to delete pages and I'm on mobile so I'm not logged in anyways.

>>50499748
I don't see why not.

Anders and some of his legion could arrive to bring the world into the Imperium with offerings of peace and penicillin and other cool shit. He starts negotiating goodwill between city states and setting up a unified world government based on truth, justice, and the Cydonian Way.

Eventually, Kashaln stands in the way, and Anders realizes this is one of his brothers. He offers to make peace between all of Kyrus/Aurangzeb's sons and Kashaln is like "No, I don't want to make peace with them, I want to grind them beneath my heel for the sin of standing against me. I was charged with keeping my father's house in order after his death, and I will keep order my way."

So Anders is like "It doesn't have to be like that, my way involves less death and suffering."

And Kashaln is like "I don't care."

I imagine Anders sends the Emprah a "wat do?" message, and Emps either turns up personally or sends another son to help bring Kashaln to Terra. Either way, it could be the start of a particular rivalry if Anders is left to restructure Kashaln's homeworld, and he turns it into a progressive, democratic society where the warrior class serves the people.

>>50500120
>and he turns it into a progressive, democratic society where the warrior class serves the people.

That's a nice shot in the balls. I say we do it. Also, it should be the Emperor just so he can serve as a reasonable middle point between the two primarch extremes.

"You are made of gold. That is a valuable commodity. I feel my servile instincts kicking in."

>>50500178
Would you say he'd return later to pull apart Anders' demoracy and return Divgharan to its roots or that he'd just move to another planet for recruitment?

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>>50500120
>>50500178
>>50499523

We could go two interesting ways with Divgharan being restructured by Anders, by the way.

1. 'Cydonian' democracy, which I imagine a lot like Athenian democracy, doesn't work for it A psyker cult blooms from one of the old regimes and puts the world in peril, and Kashaln and maybe someone else has to come and kill half the world's inhabitants. This strengthens Kashaln's resolve in his point of view and nurses his hate for Anders.

2. Cydonian democracy works perfectly, Divgharan is a utopian paradise by the time Kashaln returns. This stokes his hate for Anders EVEN HARDER.

>>50500371
If in doubt hate Anders EVEN HARDER

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>>50500178
>"I knew wearing my Bling Suit today was a good idea. Fucking Amon thought he knew better, but look how that turned out. I should hold a meeting next while I'm on a roll. A long meeting."

>>50500371
I'd like for the world to be in the middle of the process of changing when Kashaln comes back. That way he and Anders can tear the culture in two, allowing [REDACTED] or maybe Alexios to step in.

>>50500624
I think it's better for REDACTED to interfere. That would lay the foundation for their relationship. I also think that if Alexios were to step in the entire situation would escalate tremendously between him and Anders, which would in turn distract from this being Kashaln's origin. Plus, Anders can't keep getting screwed over, he needs the occassional (slight) win.

>>50500732
>Anders can't keep getting screwed over

You're just not trying hard enough.

>>50500732
>Anders can't keep getting screwed over
Then why are we even here

>>50500750
>>50500782
I kind of expected that reponse when I posted that, lol. Thing is that, for Anders to be a proper character, he needs the occassional win. Personally, I don't want any primarch to just be a joke.

>>50500624
That's cool. I like the idea of a Primarch homeworld being in a perpetual state of cold war because another Primarch rested his huge golden nads on it for a while.

>>50500817
Some manage just fine with not actually doing much for the setting as a whole. See: Engerand.

[REDACTED] works better.

When we were going through Anders' backstory, one of the points was that Alexios tried to fuck his home system, and he beat the elder Primarch into the dirt for it, promising that if Alexios ever got his nazi on in front of him again he'd finish the job.

Which is great foreshadowing for when Anders DOES run Alexios through, but it means their interactions have to be limited in the Great Crusade.

>>50500842
Yeah, but Engerand doesn't spend his entire career getting screwed over by his brothers and getting rediculed for his beliefs. Anders is kind of an odd man out, but he has to have his glorious moments.

>>50500872
I agree with this.

>>50500817
Anders beats Kashaln in a duel and teams up with Phoenix Lords iirc. That's pretty great.

>>50500842
Engerand wins a Crusade and declares another. He's also the military head of the loyalist forces for the first 2-3 Crusades. And he becomes King Arthur, perpetually threatening to return from Avalon to beat everyone up.

That said, his exploits post-Heresy are much more well fleshed out than pre-Heresy.

>>50499523
Nice.

>>50500120
Much yes.

>>50500624
>>50500732
I can get behind this, yes.

So how about Anders is hard at work when Kashaln gets back.
When they call for dad to settle things his response is "Anders, didn't you have a crusade to lead? Only boys who conquer get to do Civics projects."
Problem is that it's the Heir who delivers the message and he's a dick about it.

Alexios wants to get into a pissing contest and gets involved.

>>50500912
>That said, his exploits post-Heresy are much more well fleshed out than pre-Heresy.
He was found rather late into the Crusade so it seems like he didn't actually do much during that era and only became more powerful/influential once the Imperium broke up.

>>50500912
He is only elected supreme commander for the 1st crusade. (unless something changed when I was away, in which case disregard)

STILL seeing Anders as Superman.

>Kashaln: "I was bred to be a warrior, Kor. Trained my entire life to master my senses. Where did you train? ON A FARM?"
>Anders: "Yes, but I'm not a farmer. I'm a quarterback.[/spoilers] Played college ball, you know."
>Kashaln: "At some cushy Ivy League school."
>Anders: "TRY UNIVERSITY OF CYDONIA."
RUGBY TACKLE
>"Kashaln: "Bgdhfdhshhs that's illegal, that's not a football mo-ffgsgaaaaugghhbb!"

>>50501097
I love how this starts at one reference, but that reference isn't strong enough to keep the post to itself, so it eventually gets consumed by some kind of alpha-reference.

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>>50501097
kek

By the way, how about Anders using a jump pack? That would allow him to do the superhero landing and everything.

>>50501153
YES

>>50500923
I imagine [Redacted]'s initial verdict is the planet should stay however it works best in the Imperium.

Kashaln argues that he can't get proper warriors off this peaceful lalaland. Anders argues there are much more valuable exports coming off the planet now. Kashaln objects that this is his home. Anders goes "Hey, do you remember what you said when I offered you a bloodless way to resolve everything? I recall it was something like 'I don't care'." Kashaln is like YOU MOTHERFUCKER this place is MINE.

At this point season 2 of King of the Hill is sort of slowing down and [Redacted] peers up at them over his teevee, and tells them both this is fucking pointless, just build a wall or something, you both get half the planet. Now go do the Great Crusade you fucking mongs. Goddamn this shit wouldn't ever happen if Malcador or maybe I was in charge.

>>50501153
Yes!!

>>50501415
Seems legit and it's also nice how Anders construes Kashaln not caring about bloodshed as not caring about the world and the society.

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>TFW you have a whole new primarch backstory to read when you wake up

Spoonfeed me on Kashaln boiz

>>50501153
I'd be interested to see a Primarch-as-superhero story. Granted it would probably look more like Miracleman than Superman.

>>50502678
I think there's still a few things left to hash out.

Like, who teaches Kashaln how to Imperium? I know Emps generally delegates that task to senior Primarchs.

>>50503752
Exactly that, lead by Malcador obviously.

>>50503752
Alexios? I think maybe "how-to-imperium"ing new primarchs is one of his major jobs

>>50503793
>>50503817
I think its kind of reducing options to have the "how to Imperium" lessons all taken by the same Primarch.

Besides the fact he seems like a poor choice of mentor.

>>50503839
I think he might be a good choice, youre right though - not for all new primarchs, but I think for many if not most.

Primarchs that would just ignore him, I think he would struggle to deal with, being so quiet. So maybe they get palmed off to others or something.

>>50503817
I think Alexios would be the default choice, though he might end up handing dudes like Kashaln off on someone else when they become too irritating.

>>50504115
In one of the early threads there was a prompt about how a Primarch would respond to confrontation or issues with one of their brothers / subordinates.

IIRC Alexios' response was to remain silent, and remove himself from the room/situation. Which is not what I would think makes for a great teacher for arrogant/determined primarchs.

>>50504192
It does sound pretty hilarious though.

>Alexios: "Things are done this way."
>Kashaln: "Why?"
>Alexios: "Because that's how we do this."
>Kashaln: "But that's stupid, THIS way would be better."
>Alexios: "No, it would not, I know better as I have been serving our father better. Now listen."
>Kashaln: "But that's not a reason at all. My way is definitely better, I can tell via logic."
Alexios quietly puts aside his quill, stands up, combs his hands through his hair, and leaves the room.
>Kashaln: "Is... is that it? Did I pass? Guys?"

>>50504568
I can imagine Alexios doing that, haha.

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>>50504568

So does anyone else think Anders and his Legion *should* abide by the concepts in a superhero origin story but twisted to fit 40k? I mean, if Konrad Kurze/Night Haunter was Grimdark Batman-Punisher then perhaps Anders can be made into Grimdark Superman.

>>50507677
>adopted
>grew up pretty normally on a forge world
>wise old father killed for being a heretek, despite only trying to help people
He's pretty much halfway there already.

[spoiler' Because that's how I wrote him.

>>50503752
Kashaln underwent VERY few changes in mindset from his warrior-prince days to his primarch ones. Whoever taught him (and I guess it might have been Malcador) would basically have been talking to a brick wall right up until the point where they got to battle tactics, troop dispositions, and equipment.

>>50507734
Oh shit

Is that Kashaln done then, or do we need more?

>>50508850
Dunno, gotta admit I haven't particularly kept up. I was really busy. Point is that we shouldn't move on until it's written out as well as Balthasar's origin.

What should definitely be in there:
>Description of the homeworld
>Arrival of the primarch
>Events that shape him
>General awesome primarch stuff
>Arrival of the Emperor
>Imperial compliance

>>50507734
I think it would be more fitting to have him land on the agriworld of a small empire, no bigger than a single system. Gotta have dat Superman origin.

>>50508850
Kashaln seems pretty done. He's actually got a more fleshed out and involved background than a lot of the other Primarchs now.

So, I guess Oramar would be next?

What do we know about Oramar?

>>50512561
Noooo… we don't move on until Kashaln is written up properly. I don't want to strike down creativity, but if we don't do it now, we never will.

>>50512773
I'm currently writing his stuff up.

I've got everything up until his discovery up on the wiki.

>>50512790
Fantastic. Then we're good to go. You got everything you need?

>>50512804
I think so. If I think there's any holes in the story I'll bring them up.

>>50512885
Alright, then we should move on, yes. Who's next? Oramar, like >>50512561 suggested, Redacted, since we already made a start last thread, or Anders, who has had some mentions in the last discussion?

>>50512885
Wait, I actually have a question regarding Kashaln after reading the current wiki page. It says that Kashaln is called to his 'father's' chambers and is told of his true origin. The old man leaves the Empire in Kashaln's hands and dies. After that there is apparently a war of succession, because Kashaln is a bastard, but how do other people know this? Isn't it kind of the point that Aurangzeb kept Kashaln's heritage a secret?

>>50513363
Maybe Kashaln let it be known? If he's honorable I'm not sure if he'd want to keep it a secret.

>>50513459
Sure, but he also seems smart and sensible enough to realize that this level of carnage that would be inevitable if he let it get out.

Also, at what point in his backstory does his mustache achieve god-status?

>>50513516
What kind of moustache? Are we talking Dorn-style mutton chops moustache combo or something that would make him look like Freddie Primarcury?

>>50513576
The second mostly. The original reference was Ravana from Hindu mythology.

>>50513363
I think the idea is that the other sons all revolt, with one of them presumably being first in line for succession until the last minute.

>>50513576
Handlebars.

Also, he clearly had the tash by age ten.

>>50513877
So it's just that Kashaln is not the oldest son? Wasn't he supposed to be destined to be the ruler, even in Aurangzeb's false story?

>>50513911
I dunno, it seems more implied that he was destined to conquer.

I'm guessing Auran had a favoured biological son who was first up until he had his change of heart on his deathbed.

Of course, it could be that a bunch of Auran's wives let the secret of his bastardness out, fearing that their kids wouldn't get what they were due otherwise. They would have known that Kashaln wasn't any of their sons.

>>50514422
I could see that explanation working out, but it would need to be added to the origin. It seems like a glaring omission.

Okay then.

When I have time I'll insert some spiteful wives and finish the beginning of Kashaln's grudge against Anders.

>>50514422
>>50515084
I think it works best if there's a couple of older sons. One, Atrahaxes or something, is a really good leader and he's nice to Kashaln, and it's looking like he's going to be the heir, but he dies in a hunting "accident" and the less qualified heirs start pushing for their chance.

Aurangzeb appoints Kashaln his heir on his deathbed as discussed and the other heirs ahead of him flip their shit.
They use the illegitimacy as a polemic against Kashaln.


Shit goes to pieces, but before Kashaln can even get in his chariot to get cold feet and require advice from Krishna, Anders comes in and gets in the way.


On a side note, I'd been imagining Xun as having to deal with succession problems as well. He has extra time and so gets to actually resolve it. Perhaps when the two meet, they have a discussion about bronze age kingship and Kashaln asks him how it felt to get revenge for betrayal.

Surviving accounts diverge here. The one found in Protectorate archives says Xun recommended against revenge, while the one preserved in the Minorum liturgy contains an elegy to righteous wrath.
One fragment in the Storm Kingdoms simply states revenge is what you bring to it.

>>50515878
Welp, that works.

>>50515878
That seems like a proper addition. Kashaln has actually turned out to be way cooler than I expected.

Who's next? Oramar?

>>50519292
Oramar would be next if we're going by legion number.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>50519695
But we're not going by legion number at all, we went from I to IV. We could just roll for it.

>>50519817
>we went from I to IV
because II and III were already done. There's no need to write stuff that's already written.

>>50520095
What? Both the Warhawks' and Fists' pages have nothing related to their primarch's backstories. From what I've seen, all we really have on Raydon is one greentext story and for Marcus we have a collection of posts 3 or 4 threads ago. They're not done at all. Finally putting shit on the wiki is part of why we're doing this.

>>50520095
Not in any succinct manner.

We need to go over and write up something decent ala Balthasar.

>>50520205
Wait WHA-

fgsfg I thought Raydonanon had done Raydon's piece. And I thought Marcus' had been entered several threads ago by the people that wrote his new story.

Okay, Raydon?

He's a rocket man, burning out his fumes out here, alone. Where does he originally land before he becomes a rocket man?

>>50520668
>>50519817
>>50519695
So who are we doing, Raydon or Oramar?

>>50521340
I'd say Raydon first, he's earlier in the sequence.

If anyone has the writing for Marcus lying around, we should drop that into the wiki.

>>50521804
I think that's going to be a long, long time, just because of how disorganized things are.

So as I understand it, Raydon's story is kind of like one of the versions of Alpharius.

How about he comes down on some no-name dust-farming planet, kind of like Tatooine. He spends a short period of time as a pick-pocket in the slums of the one space-port before Han Solo catches him trying to steal some shit and says 'come with me'.

So he goes off to space and becomes a pirate king.

So are these pirates of the Caribbean pirates? Does Raydon have a Blackbeard phase?

Or are these more like Somali Pirates and the like?

I think the latter works a bit better just because it keeps closer to Raydon as we have him. If he's a SPESS PIRATE ARRRG, that's going to take him in a different direction from being all tacti-cool.
A small fleet of Space-Somali ships would also account for Raydon's tactics-- he could never go toe-to-toe with an enemy and had to be clever about it.

If they're also rebels/low-class it sets up a potential resonance with Corax, as well, particularly if there's a bit of Firefly going on and the space government is trying to hunt them down.

I'm assuming that eventually Han Solo dies and Raydon takes command and proceeds to kick ass and becomes the pirate Godfather before he gets into a fight with an Imperial Flagship and either E-Money or another Primarch finds him.

Depending on when that is, it might be The Heir Apocryphal trying to keep him as a pocket ally against Faustus.

>>50522902
why bother with the planet at all? Have his pod land inside a ship directly.

>>50523357
We could, it just seemed somehow strange-- I'm picturing a cruiser sized ship, so no bigger than like 7km in length, either in the warp or in space, likely with voids up.

Then again, G-Unit has his pod crash into a space hulk, so, who knows.

>>50524111
Isn't Enoch found on a ship too or something?

>>50524250
I didn't know that. Weird.


>>50515878
Oh, also, had a character thought. Since Kashaln turned out surprisingly Bro-Tier, how about we give him a bro-tier champion or Equerry.
I'm thinking Arjuna Jayamant (Jayamant Sigismund taken up to PIE and brought back down into Indo-Aryan)
Thinking Jayamant is one of the exemplars of Kashaln's ideals. He'd probably weild a spear modeled on those of the Custodes and weild a big shield like Asterion Moloch.
I'm thinking he's the sort of guy the civilian would name if asked to talk about a Silver Spear during the crusade. He's honorable, even to xenos like the Eldar. Maybe he ends a fight by dueling the autarch. He's also looked up to by Auxiliae members who have fought alongside him. He's a master orator, the kind of leader you willingly die for.
He loathes Anders and has a rivalry with someone in the Paladins and as the crusade goes on comes to fear that the Paladins are the shape of things to come. When he rebels with his legion, it's to protect the honor of the warrior, as much for him as it is for the ideals he and his men (including mortal retainers) serve for.

Jayamant turns Slaneeshi in time, but he's more about the perfecting of martial virtue than anything else and leads regular crusades for his men to hone their skills.
10,000 years later, he's still at it, but chaos has addled his mind. He goes on crusades to liberate the great from the tyranny of lesser minds, including a very strange joint hunting expedition to slay synapse beasts in an advancing hive fleet. The Bloodhounds and Negators there were simply collecting heads, but Jayamant claimed he was freeing the noble carnifexes and tyrannofexes from the unworthy zoanthropes.
Similarly, he has been known to set miners and hive workers free on worlds across the galaxy, slaying their venal overlords for their inadequacies, but he is equally likely to purge a dozen hive worlds because a nearby Hellforge "is entitled to the sweat of its brow".

>>50524663
Anyways, the idea is that where Sigismund is Dorn's perfect Knight, Jayamant is Kashaln's perfect ksatriya, and the more glorious he is during the crusade, the harder we make him fall until he's a petty warlord who dresses up in scraps of his former glory for arbitrary slaughter.

>>50522902
Raydonanon specifically pointed out that Raydon us the only primarch to find the Emperor, not the other way around.
This what he posted last thread:

>lands on planet
>survives for a while in the scrub
>sees people. People have metal bawkz.
>sneak onto bawkz. "Lets go adventuring"
>bawkz goes to the sky and beyond
>im on a boat. In space
>joins crew as stowaway baby primarch
>demonstrates primarch tendancy of being fucking awesome
>becomes known to captain and bridge crew
>becomes captains protégé
>oh btw we be pirates yar matey
>becomes pirate captain in time
>has dreams of glowing giant
>dreams dont go away
>am i this giant?
>dreams of far away land with glowing giant
>imma go find this dream planet and be this glowing man
>goes in search of Sol and Terra
>intercepts and attacks Imperial explorer ship
>SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER IM DA EMPEROR
>Raydon sees him and knows immediately he isnt infact the glowing man, that the glowing man in the Emperor.
>kneels and pledges service to papa

>>50522902
Essentially yeah minor differences though I happy to go with whatevers preferred.

The planet was going to be forested and mountainous. He survives off the land, and the first time he sees humans, he sneaks aboard their vessel - not knowing what a metal box is.

He spends a while as a stowaway, then moves into work around the vessel. He is found and reported to (even a young primarch is notable for physical prowess if nothing else).

He gets taken to the Captain, and the captain sees an opportunity. Takes him on as an enforcer, but within days sees his mental acuity and starts to mentor him.

Eventually his Captain falls in battle, and Raydon is the obvious replacement.

>Black Beard phase
most definitely, when other primarchs were taking over planets he only had to take over a single ship, and even that wasn't too hard.

He spends as long as possible pirating.

> Space Somali use different tactics to Space Black Beard
I don't understand, pirates have always targeted weaker vessels and run from stronger. This hasn't changed in the hundreds of years since the age of sail.

>His tactics
The emphasis on his tacticool is essentially economy of effort. Its all cost-benefit, which ties into his pirating outlook, it just so happens thats also a key principle of manoeuvre warfare.

>Firefly going on
This I like

> pirate Godfather
Hadn't occurred to me at all, perhaps something akin to the Pirates of the Carribeans pirate lords, rather than the straight up 'top dog'

>The Heir Apocryphal trying to keep him as a pocket ally
It was initially the intent that Raydon was meant to be 'turned' as he publicly spoke out against the Emperor, and was very close to others who turned, never been happy with Rubineks treatment. The Warmaster merely underestimated his sense of loyalty, mistaking his outward actions as representative of the whole.

>>50523357
Also works.

>>50524250
No. Enoch is found wandering on a desert planet, having never met any other person and knowing nothing but the sensation of having sandstorms flay his skin.

>>50523357
I actually kind of like the idea of him landing on a planet and then sneaking onto a ship.

>>50525248
>>50525333
Themes I think are important to Raydon's character.

>Family/Loyalty
He like all Primarchs has a perfect memory, he knows his bridge crew and maybe more. He recalls everyone who has served with him and thinks of them in the same way he thinks of his sons, and very similarly to how he sees the Primarch's he's fought with.

>Manoeuvrist
As I said, economy of effort, surprise, focus, adaptability, and flexibility are his keystones for everything. He has a unique understanding of 3D warfare, outpacing traditional void-warfare tendencies.

>Immature leadership
Raydon likes to lead from the front - and can be quite inspirational in the way of Primarchs - he likes to be part of the action, and whilst he has a brilliant tactical mind, he doesnt care much for the back-end planning. As he matures through the crusade he is forced to admit that what he wants and where his responsibilities lie are different places. Until then, he tries to surround himself with experts in stuff that he doesn't like to do himself.

>Precognition/Instincts
When in doubt, act - he trusts his "instincts" and does whatever he thinks is right. One of the Warmasters/Chaos' greatest deceptions is perhaps concealing the change in nature for the traitor Primarchs - hiding them from his gaze. He also does not like the implication that he might be a psyker - Psykers to him, are "other" people, nothing wrong with being one - but he isn't one.

We've had it be that Xun has broached the topic with him, and decided against trying to do so again - might be worth doing something with, maybe with Anshul? Might not be relevant to his introduction though

I just realised we have to change the primarc discovery order. The current list states Anders was found after Kashaln.

>>50525488
>I actually kind of like the idea of him landing on a planet and then sneaking onto a ship.

Same, I prefer that to the idea of him just smashing into a ship.

We've already got a 'voidborn' Primarch anyway.

>>50527224
I also think that if a primarch's pod hits a pirate cruiser, it'd fuck it up pretty badly.

This all seems pretty simple to write up.

Raydonanon, any preferred names for the captain that originally takes him under his wing?

>>50528693
Captain Tlass/Gunivére/Muitery/Caradock? Just throwing out suggestions based on some stuff I found.

>>50528878
I don't think names are as important as characterization right now.

>>50529325
Anon asked for names and I was happy to oblige. As for personality, I'm thinking an authoritarian man or woman that is focussed on their goals, mainly wealth, but can also have some fun. Point is that the captain should be competent and well liked by the crew. Them he or she dies and Raydon takes over. I'm up for having the captain be a woman, but that's still up in the air.

>>50525333
The difference I'm thinking between Somali pirates and age of sail ones is that during the age of sail, they had direct access to military hardware.
Somali pirates don't.
So Blackbeard could run around with a battlecruiser and potentially take on anything sent after him, while Somali pirates can't. They're hopelessly outmatched by any military vessel. Heck, water hoses are problems for them. So it's a question of relative power.
Is Raydon fighting a navy head on or is he always on the run.

>>50528693
Not really. A rip off of a famous real or fictional pirate.

Haarlock or something.

>>50529885
I see i see.

In that case, his ship is only a frigate - maybe light cruiser at the biggest so i guess that matches up with the somali description. Moving in, disabling key systems, boarding and taking what they want before getting out of dodge.

On a total non sequitur, all this CSM stuff has me thinking, how would you play stuff out of the codex? (If at all)
And dovetailed with that, what are the cult units like?

This said, I think the new IW stuff works perfectly for JB, and I'd be surprised if the WE stuff didn't work for BH.
I'd assume the Second Sons could also use the Death Guard stuff without any trouble. Just add rad phage and the like to some things and trade out one of the plague marine rules for a radiation aura.

But some of the other legions are a bit weirder.

Do the Silver Spears do Kakophoni?
Any ideas for the Behemoth Guard cult unit?

>>50531025
>Do the Silver Spears do Kakophoni?
They prefer man-portable rad weaponry to sonics. That's why many of the older ones are so ugly.

>>50531025
You could just remove the +1T from plague marines and give them a -1T aura instead. They seem less hardy and more ill kill you first types.

After we're done compiling these primarch backstories we should make definitive rules for each faction.

>>50531025
Bloodhounds are heavily inspired by Khorne Daemonkin so there's your answer for them.

>>50530239
How about this, then:

Raydon comes down in the Lampyrid Cluster or something. The Unification government keeps the Core under pretty tight control, but the fringes are pretty chaotic, with worlds reverting to techno barbarity in many ways.
Raydon lands on Tattooine and eventually Harlock Reynolds picks him up and takes him aboard as discussed.
The Unification fleet starts cracking down on pirates, in part because of increased reaver activity. There's a tainted world somewhere in the area and Corsairs are being infected by chaos.
Raydon, meanwhile, is building his fleet. Then he has his dreams. The unification fleet goes after him and chases his smaller fleet BSG style because they think he's harboring chaos taint.
In the end, Raydon makes it to the Emperor, but the Emperor also rewards Caprica Clive there, Malcador takes the guy into the proto-inquisition and the Unification fleet exterminatuses the hellworld off the books.

Raydon gets some inkling of all this in his debriefing, which is why he's so cagey towards the warp.

Years later, Raydon meets up with the guy who chased him and together they purge chaos. Or something.

>>50533289
>building his fleet
Is he someone who would build a fleet? He seems more like the firefly crew mentality of just being happy doing what hes doing. Rather than trying to expand his authority. I think its been said he actively avoids senior command despite his affinity for it. Because he likes being in the trenchs with his boys.

>>50533289
What about
>becomes captain
>rumours start to abound by ghost ships and pirate king having taken over the pirate lords of Tattooine system
>piracy on the rise
>unification force starts to get worried these pirates are getting too successful and overcoming fears
>start campaign to find this pirate king and dismantle his organization
>raydon finally makes his way to the Emperor by high jacking an Imperial vessel and driving straight in
>turns out there isnt a pirate king and an impossibly big pirate organisation
>just a really proficient pirate ship
>pulling off raids attributed to larger forces
>other BS only a primarch could get away with
>throw in some nods to pirates "sacking a port without having fired a shot" "trade gallions disappearing and reappearing with the crew unaware of what happened and where the monies went" - you know the stuff.
>meets the Emperor
>"well we are in the empire business not the piracy business. You gotta stop that shit. And hand over your friends"
>"ill take things that wont happen for 500 alex
>malcador being intelligent and not obtusely stubborn comes in
>how about we turn them into privateers. We can even pay them for star maps and shit.
>Emperor: ...
>Raydon: well ill tell em the offer
>Emperor: those that dont take it will be captured and executed
>Raydon: their pirates... they know the risks

>>50533289
Whos caprica clive?
I do like the idea that Raydon works later with people who tried to hunt him in his outlaw days. I dont imagine he bears them much ill will. Could be interesting interactions.

>>50533702
Birth of rogue traders maybe?

>>50533468
Thats how I picture him yeah, but its open to change.

>Emperor also rewards Caprica Clive there
Who's this? and why are they being rewarded. I think I missed something.

>because they think he's harboring chaos taint.
Is chaos a thing during the unification / crusade? I thought it was totally unknown to all by the Emperor.

>>50533702
I like this idea. and >>50533722 I think Rogue Traders had existed before that, but if not I think its a cool way to found their institution.

>>50533468
Fair point. I was picturing a bit of Battlestar Galactica mixed with the Pirate Lords in Pirates of the Caribbean.

>>50533702
I dig it.

>>50533702
>>50535048
Ok, so the whole Chaos thing and Caprica Clive.

Caprica Clive is just a placeholder name for the dude that chases Raydon. I wanted them to have a more interesting motive than obsession/spite and to give the Core a more interesting motive for squashing pirates with extreme prejudice than being a big mean government ala Firefly, particularly if Raydon is running around with Malcom Reynolds.

I was also thinking about Reavers in Firefly and how they basically are a Khornate Cult waiting to happen.
So it occurred to me that it might be pretty neat if there was a planet of witches or a planet with chaos taint in the sector. The Core doesn't know about chaos per-say, but they know that there's something bad on that planet and they know that it's infectious.
So as a result, this Caprica Clive guy is chasing down Raydon because, in part, he thinks Raydon has a ship of witches and if he doesn't get Raydon, then Raydon is going to wreck whatever society he ends up in.
This explains why he pursues Raydon when Raydon starts trying to find Earth-- he'd eventually leave the Lampryid Cluster and Unification space, so it gives him a more interesting motive for pursuit and lets him come into play later.

I'm thinking Raydon ends up flying into the Emperor's fleet.
Pursuing, Clive signals the flagship, trying to warn them that the ship has a giant witch on it. He gets rerouted to Malcador or something, who listens intently, realizes he's hearing about a chaos threat, and deputizes the guy into the Inquisition.

>>50535722
>>50533702
Okay I like both these ideas. Heres my idea to mesh the two together.

>piracy on the rise and such as per >>50533702
>impossible ghost ship is inspiring other pirates to get more and more audacious
>only two possible explainations for this
1. WITCHCRAFT
2. Giant pirate conglomerate
Neither of which is good.
>The Emperor tasks Caprica to find the rumour pirate king and kill him, he even assigns a Custode to go with him (whos secret task is to report if witchcraft / chaos is involved)

From here there is essentially two stories. The pirates perspective and the imperial.

>Pirates
Raydon gets dreams and goes looking for the Emperor (not knowing its the Emperor ofc)
>Imperial

>Detective story,
>leading to legendary/mythical pirate lord who pilots a ghost ship, seemingly able to appear out of thin air and disappear as easily. Various exploits, which are a combination of rumour and fact.
>Tracks it down, combination of sherlock holmes level skill and a bit of luck
>sees a pattern, this guy is coming to terra
>wtf how crazy is this guy

Culminates with Raydon running a blockade set up by Caprica, in a captured imperial vessel, meets the Emperor.

The Custodes reports that while yes, the Pirate empire wasn't what they thought it was, there is infact "reavers" that need to be dealt with. Raydon provides the information on what he has thought were just crazy ass violence loving pirates. And the purging begins.

>Malcador snatches up Clive, this guy was able to successfully track a ghost through space, determine which parts of his legend were rumours and which was fact. Predict an otherwise unpredictable Primarchs actions - using his detective skill to combat literal precognitive powers - sure he came up short in the end, but a considerable feat, almost matching his opponent despite his opponents precognition.

>>50536375
An issue I foresee is maybe that the run to the Emperor is fairly non-violent currently, which sort of conflicts with Primarchs personalities and the occupation of piracy in general.

Im happy to handwave this away though, with Raydon being no more violent than neccessary against his imperial pursuers because he just doesn't "feel" its right sometimes, and typically is outmatched in terms of firepower when it comes to most fights, so sneaking and precision strikes to disable ships rather than people is better for him anyway.

Im also happy to ramp up the violence to accommodate primarch and pirate tendencies if thats the route we want to go down.

Alright, does anyone have any questions about Raydon? If not I say we move on to the next guy.

>>50537453
So we are going with the conjoined version?

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>50537490
I like it, personally.

>>50537453
Who next?

>>50538242
Is it Jobs that writes them up or are we just going to copy paste whats been put here onto the wiki?

>18
Sarco

>>50538471
Eh, I really don't have the time to do it myself. Not all of them anyway. It seems Kashaln has been fully updated, so I think we can move on, as soon as somebody takes the responsibility to write up Raydon's stuff.

>>50538471
I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE

>>50540014
I feel a mighty need to dress up like a complete doofus and shove a microphone in your face. Good luck though. Think you have everything you need?

>>50540047
I think so.

Does anyone mind if I change his landing planet to an ice world? Idk why I just like the imagery of living in isolation more if its an ice world.

>>50540088
We don't have anyone else landing on an ice world, so I don't see why it would be an issue for anyone.

>>50540088
Im going for cold isolation vs the warmth of others.

>>50540112
Little babby Raydon stowes away in the engine room?

>>50540137
Good idea. Added.

Question, how long does it take the Emperor to go from Primarchs are stolen to the Great Crusade?

A decade? more/less? A century?

>>50540105
Marcus lands on what is kinda an ice world not that there's a problem, in fact marcus and raydon are supposed to be friends so i guess that kind of fits

>>50540190
One or two decades. He needed to build his fleets and his legions.

>>50526036
Reminding you guys that this is still a thing.

>>50540318
Just move him infront then, I dont think it will change much.

>>50540318
The order I have is:

1. Warmaster
2. Faustus
3. Raydon
4. Alexios
5. Sinistrum
6. Oramar
7. Kor
8. Sarco
9. Enoch
10. Rubinek
11. Klaus
12. Engerand
13. Xun
14. Aodhan
15. Kashaln
16. Saul
17. Balthasar
18. Grengrat
19. Anshul
20. Grahanak.

Is that incorrect?

>>50540339
It's just that I think it'll get changed even more down the road.

>>50540346
It's not what's on the wiki. So idk.

>>50540380
What i've got.

Cast into the Warp by the nefarious Chaos Gods, Raydon’s pod landed on the frozen world somewhere in the Lamyphrid cluster. The planet, whose name has been lost to time, was frozen desert, a world of ice and wind. For untold years Raydon survived in isolation, until one day.

On that fortuitous day Raydon awoke early, and saw a ball of fire descend into his world. He followed the streaks in the sky for a day and a night, until finally coming across the mysterious visitors. He identified them for their familiarity, quite unlike the beasts that hunted on the ice plains. He saw their warmth, their camaraderie, and their vessel – something he had not the words to explain. He knew then, with an intensity of a burning sun that he needed to find his way on-board the fantastical creation.

His years of surviving on the frozen plains had taught him well the advantages of stealth, and his experience with the strong loud winds only made his task easier. Within moments he was into a new world. A world of metal and wires, corridors and hatches. He took well to his new environment, faster in fact than he had adapted to his old home – already becoming a distant memory – before he knew it, he had found a roaring room of warm metal. The sounds of the engine lulling him into his first safe night of sleep.

When he awoke, he did so to the sounds of foot scuffs and idle chatter. He hid immediately, his survival instincts honed to a fine peak, he twisted the shadows around him, disappearing from sight and mind.
And so it was, for many a years that he hid amongst the rafters and crewmen. He had migrated from the shuttle to the ship proper, he had even realized he was among the stars, he had begun to learn the language of his hosts, some of the crew customs, and had through observation even been learning how their jobs.

1/X

>>50540643
He began to imitate the crew, working for a time worked among them, until he grew so large that even the most uneducated rating at a glance identified him as different. It was then that he was enlisted as one of the ships enforcers, and quickly his proficiency for violence brought him to the attention of the ships senior security officer, and its captain – Captain Malcolm Haarlock.
Within weeks of joining the captain’s personal guard, Haarlock had taken the boy under his wing, having identified a keen if uneducated intellect, and an unbridled passion for piloting. Raydon became the captain’s protégé and adopted son, taught by the helmsmen in how to pilot the vessel, the marine commander in boarding tactics, the security officer in the principles of marksmenship, its seneschal in management and negotiation. Raydon’s teachers became his family, and his family his teachers. It was only a scant handful of years, less than a decade before Malcolm Haarlock lost his life, the very illness that had led an otherwise decent man into a life of piracy.
Raydon was the obvious heir, the crew thought him a legend, one who rose from nothing to become everything, the command staff knew his mind far exceeded anything a mere human could match, the marines had fought beside him, at first as peers and later as followers.

He was elected by unanimous consent of command. And his captaincy was one of dread infamy. His methodology and approach to piracy was radical, he did not abide by the standard convention of naval engagement, he favoured maximising the advantage of surprise, focussed on a single goal, overwhelming it, and withdrawing immediately. He would often find his way aboard enemy vessels, or send kill teams to do so, sabotage enemy sensor arrays and engines. Sending them a warning from the Dread Pirate Neratos, the warning was always simple and would bombard every comm channel available.

2/X

>>50540643
>>50540659
– Surrender half of your goods, and your lives will be spared. Resist and burn with all of them. –

In time his infamy became a living creature of its own. Taking on new and more outlandish traits as deeds of his exploits carried far and wide. In time those that heard the warning would immediately surrender their goods, knowing that it was the only way to stave off certain doom. Other pirates began to operate in his name, latching onto his impossible successes. In time his imitators and legend became too inconvenient and the newly expanding Unification forces were unable to allow such a conglomerate to persist.
The Emperor himself tasking a naval captain, one Caprica De La Veta to bring back the head of the Dread Pirate Neratos at any cost, tasking one of his personal guardians, one of the Custodes to accompany him and ensure the deed was done.
De La Veta, proved himself a wily and ultimately worthy enemy to the Dread Pirate, tracking him seamlessly through the void. Hounding his steps, and never falling into the traps laid for him.
It was around this time that Raydon began to have dreams, quite unlike anything he had experienced before. He dreamt of a golden giant, backed by wreaths of black flame. A giant whose presence who seemed to banish the shadows at his feet, yet what replaced the shadows was burnt and scarred beyond recognition.

Night after night, he would dream of this giant, sometimes the dreams would change but always there was the golden giant. And so, he followed his dreams, time and time again he would evade traps set for him by the Unified Forces, though for all his brilliance and foresight, he couldn’t trap or ambush his pursuer either. And so a great game of cat and mouse began – each taking their turn playing the cat and the mouse.

3/X

>>50540670
>>50540659
His solution was simple and brilliant, he reported to the Emperor his findings and established a cordon, Neratos had displayed in the past an indomitable drive to achieve his goals, and a recklessness that De La Veta believed wouldn’t allow him to turn away from the obvious blockade so close to achieving whatever nefarious task he had set himself too.

Indeed he was once again correct. Raydon using a recent “acquisition” flew straight through the blockade in Navy Frigate, posing as a returning patrol commander. Once within the outer cordon he made his way to the Emperors flag ship, and found the passage eerily easy. Mirroring his actions a decade or more ago, he cloaked himself in shadow, and made his way undetected and alone onto the Emperors flagship.

Once their however he immediately saw the error in his ways, He had thought himself the Golden Giant. Dread and Glorious. Powerful and Beloved. He thought his dreams were leading him to ultimate self, his destiny. But once he locked eyes with the Emperor, who could not be deceived by the shadows Raydon wrapped himself in. Once he locked eyes with his Father, he knew the truth. He had been lead to his destiny true enough, but the Giant was not him but his Father – the Lord and Emperor of All Mankind.

It has been lost to the ages what occurred in the Emperors throne room, only a handful of Custodes were present and they spoke not a word of it. In later years Raydon would say he bent his knee and pledged his undying support to his father, and to mankind.

Shortly after Caprica De La Veta would be recruited by Malcador the Sigilite, his genius, drive, and devotion repurposed in Malcadors own Ordo. Accounts of his deeds are sealed, though it is said that Raydon and De La Veta met on occasion, neither displeased with the outcome. Both believing that they played their parts as they were meant to, harbouring fond memories of the great chase.

4/4

>>50540643
>>50540659
>>50540670
>>50540678
I like it a lot. Couple of quick points.

>The marines had fought beside him
Marines? I think you mean the crew or something like that.

Who names him? Where does his name come from?

>Once their however he immediately saw the error in his ways
Should be "Once there", obviously

Is De La Veta an astartes? Or a regular human?

>>50540900
Marines were typically the soldiers aboard a ship who would engage in offensive roles such as boarding other ships. They are dedicated soldiers on boats rather than sailors who fight if that makes sense.

>Name
WELL WELL WELL
That is certainly a thing... A thing I have given approximately zero consideration.

His name is a play on Raiden the lightning god and Veratus the god of truth who hides. I dont know how he would get that name though.

>Once there
You have a good eye for detail.

>De La Veta
Totally human. Down to the marrow of his bones. Just good at his job.

>>50540970
>Marines
Fair enough, it's just that in 40k the word marine has certain connotations.

>Name
The ship's first mate is a lady called [NAME] Neratos. She is the lover of Captain Haarlock. Originally Haarlock wanted to name Raydon Haarlock, but Raydon himself rejected it. He preferred Neratos, much to the captain's dismay.
As for his first name, idk, someone just liked it, I guess.

>>50541007
I think marines are still used in the imperial navy / rogue trader. happy to replace it tho if its confusing.

I like the name origin. I can imagine a stunned and silent bridge as he rejects the name. until an old sea dog starts laughing and comments on his brazen balls.

>>50541038
You can't really blame him though. Raydon Haarlock is a pretty shit name. Veruna Neratos, I rolled a name, could be kind of a mother figure to Raydon. In the OU Guilliman is the only one with an actual mother. Something a lot of primarchs really could have benefited from.

>>50541150
Maybe why he is one of the less autistic primarchs.

Funny that he is raised by cut throats and criminals and has one of the more balanced upbringings. Second to maybe Kor.

>>50541217
Funny story; whenever somebody calls primarchs and astartes autistic I'm reminded of this crazy autistic guy at my old school. He swore that eventually autists would become dominant over 'normal' people, because their minds allowed them to be more focussed and thus they'd be a better fit 'for the future of humanity'. Dude was annoying as fuck.

>>50541349
Has he seen "The Accountant".

I think he'd like it.

>>50541368
I'm not voluntarily making contact with that guy. Last time I did he kept spamming me about Minecraft for the better part of a month.

I've been thinking some more about Anders and the Paladins. Right now, the idea is to have their legion badge be a lion rampant. Cool and all, but I'm not sure. Not only is it already a thing in the OU, the HH has a legion literally called the Lions Rampant.

How about we change the symbol for the XXth legion to the head of a lion, but with a sun as it's mane?

Also, I'm not really fond if their color scheme. A scheme with white as it's primary color and gold as it's trim seems more fitting for them. Their current scheme, with dark orange and dark red, does not fit the Paladins very well, imo. Not to mention the orange is a lot like the Arms' scheme.

>>50538471
I'm okay with that, but I thought we were going in order of the legion numbers.

>>50542847
Yeah, that's the idea. We could just start jumping around, but we want things to be organised. That would mean Marcus is up next. Won't take too long though, a lot was discussed two or three threads ago.

>Reposting from threads past
Taris Sinister – Formerly a Feral World located near the Ghoul Stars this planet was formerly a Martian Outpost during the Age of Strife. Mad Machine-Forms still prowl the long winters, seeking to exterminate all ‘intruders.’ The people for their part have just recently pulled themselves into the era of electronic communication – Radios, telephones, and telegraphs allow communication for businesses and pleasure. The planet, politically, is split into ten major City-Forge, each of which is driven to outperform the others in technological wizardry.
Onto this world landed the Incubation Pod of Marcus Sinister, then merely Marcus. He landed near the outskirts of the City-Forge Nou. Taken in and raised to adulthood by a kindly couple and their children he was trained in the art of repair and upkeep for the trains and radios that kept the City-Forges connected. All the while he was witness to the viciousness of winter and the Hunter-Programs that hunted under its cover. Before he had matured his mother had been taken by their cruelty. It was with this wisdom that he sought to gather men from within the city in order to help quell the beasts outside their massive walls.
However once he was in the city he despaired – its men and women were just as terrified of the frozen winters and the pitiless machines in the darkness. He pled his case on the streets but none would answer he calls, preferring to ignore the rag clad giant. During an altercation in the street with another young man he was dragged in by no less than sixty of the city’s guards and taken to the Mayor’s Palace.

>>50545355
Once there he demanded aid be delivered to those outside the wall and was in turn offered a challenge: Should he, Marcus find the source of the Hunter-Machines he would be free to ask whatever of the city of Nou he desired and in addition receive the title of ‘Sinister.’
Galvanized by this Marcus sets off into the Farplains – the distant tracts of land too far from any city. He wandered for years, studying the remains of vast, ancient machines that dotted the landscape. He began preying on and dissecting the Hunter-Machines, teaching his methods to the isolated people he met in his travels. As time passed he began to find references to something called ‘Mars.’ Before five years had passed he had managed to trace the machines to one central hub in the planet’s southern pole; if not their origin it was as solid a lead as any.
As he made his descent to the bottom of the world he quickly realized that under the permafrost the entire Southern Pole was one vast artificial structure. As he began his final attempt he was ambushed; the Hunter-Programs he had evaded for so long had finally recognized him and marshalled their forces to stop him. Dozens of ancient machines threw themselves as the Primach and in the melee his right hand was severed from the elbow down. Before the weight of numbers could drag him down he was saved by a ragtag collection of Frontier tribes – the ones whom he had taught to ways of Machine hunting. Rescued and taken to their lonesome villages he immediately began planning a second attempt on the ‘Fortress of Steel.”

>>50541618
The HH?

>>50546463
Hektor Heresy.

>>50546463
Horus Heresy.

They must have released the name of one of the lost legions. Yet another thing to headcanon away.

>>50546556
No he meant the Hektor Heresy, the ORIGINAL alternate heresy made by /tg/. That's where they come from.

>>50546650
>>50546556
>>50546512
>>50546463
Yeah, the Hektor Heresy. I don't want to get bogged down in trying to stay out of their footsteps, but I think it would be smart to atleast keep from copying their legions.

>>50546650
Well thats silly.

We can hardly go through every 1d4chan article to make sure nothing conflicts with other tg write faggotty. Colour scheme change yeah okay but changing the lion seems like overkill. Especially since its just heraldy.

The Void Lords color scheme is, IMO, an eyesore. Its color palette is nice but the current pictures are pretty fugly. Any idea for an update?

>>50541618
That's a fair point. I definitely like the Solgaleo for the legion emblem. Can definitely see it looking properly heraldic.

Try some color schemes and we'll give it a shot. We can't possibly end up with something worse than the Lions Rampant. Sorry HHbros, but it's true.

>>50547040
It's not just any other writefaggotry, it's 'the other OU'. Plus, I think the Lion Rampant isn't particularly cool anyway. The sun maned lion is way cooler, imo.

>>50547044
Yeah, their scheme has been a problem for a while. The only other suggestion I saw was even fuglier, black with lime green trim.

>>50547125
>Yeah, their scheme has been a problem for a while. The only other suggestion I saw was even fuglier, black with lime green trim.
We should stick to the dark blue, purple and red palette but surely we can do better with it.

>>50547125
>other AU
There will always be another project. Always another AU.

>>50547585
Ok, ok, the other AU that replaces the 20 primarchs.

So I've been thinking: a few threads ago we discussed the existence (or lack thereof) of non-astartes factions and xeno factions before eventually attempting to purge things which added nothing to the setting and had no reasonable explanation for their existence. But with that said, should we attempt to flesh out those factions which COULD exist reasonably within the setting?

>>50548475
Yes. The question is can we coherently do that whilst also fleshing out the primarch stories or should we wait.

>>50548475
I think that might be a fun thing to do, but right now we're focussing on the primarch origins.

>>50548630
>>50548671
Fair enough.

>>50545465
I like it. One question, though. Wasn't his hand withered or something?
Rag-clad Giant is a great band name.

>>50545355
>city forge nou
No you.

Heh.

>>50548788
Maybe it gets hit with some sort of degradation beam and as it withers he cuts it off himself to cease the spread.

Also..

What happens next!

The tribes of the wastes had all but deified Marcus for delivering the knowledge of how to fight back against the machine; in addition to saving him his arm stump was cleaned and a crude replica made of iron but with a crossbow was affixed to the stump. The tribes’ men and women followed him and moving as silently as night they advanced into desolate plains surrounding the polar ice. Hunter-Programs were cut down by shorn coolant tubes or bent pistons. So well did the culling of them go that the hunting party was caught completely by surprise when the fortress rumbled to life and produced a near endless litany of destruction with its long dormant defenses. The majority of the tribes was scythed down ruthlessly to buy Marcus the opportunity into the vast fortress.
However once he had entered the vast structure Marcus found that it was empty and dead; he had long thought that some malign force was seeking the destruction of his fellow man.
Now he knew better. As he slowly deciphered the workings of the massive structure, first deactivating the guns, when recalling the Hunters, and finally uncovering a heavily battered data log he discovered that Taris was not alone in the universe. Mankind had spread out over the stars and this structure was nothing more than a downed supply ship. Marcus spent many nights inspecting the various technologies of the vast transport before finally making the long journey to Nou.
His companions accompany him – their world has been upturned and everything they thought they knew about life has been cast aside. Now the teachings of Marcus the Steel Hunter are all they know. However Marcus dallies before leaving, repairing its ancient code and finally laying the Hunter-Machines to rest and fashions himself an augmented hand. His mind alight with wisdom he returns to Nou to find the city in ruins and his hometown burned to the ground. As he questions the survivors he discovers that war had broken out among the ten City-Forges.

>>50549419
I saw it more as Marcus lost the hand because it was infirm; it faled him at some point during the fight, things went wrong, the hand was lost and over time he develops a very Iron Hands mentality of strengthening himself either via via cybernetics, training, or bio-tech.

>>50550936
So then he comes back, pissed because they can't have nice things, and then imposes order?

>>50550952
So his hand alone failed? Or his entire body was failing and it was just the strawthat broke the camels back?

>>50550936
>>50552096
And after unifying, the Emperor comes? Or does a Martian Explorator find him?

After that Tarsis becomes a Forge until Balthasar wrecks it?

>>50552203
Was it mentioned that his body was failing?

>>50553897
I dont think so? Im trying to figure out the cause of the failure.

Fist guy here.
>>50553887
When i first wrote up these guys (as little as i did) I said that that part of marcus's origin is something of a mystery, in that Some believe marcus was found by the mechanicus before the emperor but facts are hard to come by.

>>50553897
>>50552203
>>50550952
So when this was a "what would you be as a primarch" i threw in that my primarch's right hand has nerve damage as that is something i personally live with.

Since then the idea has been toyed with a bit and with my handing off to other anons even more confused. At this point there are a few competing ideas i'm aware of

1, His hand is damaged in fighting and is something only he has

2, A horrible wasting afflicts his gene seed and the entire legions nerve system slowly falls apart leading to heavy cyborg enhancement

3, Marcus has a horrible wasting and his nerves are degrading but the rest of the legion is ok and seek to emulate his cyborg enhancement in honor to him

>>50554139
I like 1 and 3 the most.

Are you the one whose has been writing

>>50550936
>>50545465
>>50545355

>>50554201
No that's not me although i do belive thats quite a nice write up. I can't tell if it's copy pasted or just really close to the thing posted a few threads back

Is that Marcus done? Sorry I haven't been posting that much, finals are coming up.

>>50556338
I think some questions needed answering about how its all finalised.

Oh and how he is actually found

>>50556355
>>50556338
Same boat

I think the big question is who finds him. Explorators? Emperor? Another Primarch?

>>50550936
Competition between forges over who made the best locomotive or whose radio replicated sound the best had erupted into outright military activity. The neighboring city-forge of Zied had launched massive rains of artillery and vaporized his home city.
Marcus takes his title and plots his cold vengeance. During the winter the trains will dock and the radios would be the only method of communication. With only his tribesman allies Marcus begins gathering fellow mechanics in the hope of usurping the rail lines before the spring thaw and taking over the planet by holding its life-blood hostage.
When spring came and the tracks across the planet were being patrolled by bitter villagers, ready and willing with explosive designed to ruin the tracks and deform the land under them, the remaining nine city-forges swore loyalty to Marcus who established his capital in the ruins of Nou, excavating technology from the ship and using it to create an imitation of the glories of Mars. Cities were lit anew by streams of lumen paper and buildings were built ever higher to the sky.
-
Unlike the majority of his people, who were just beginning to turn their eyes skyward, Marcus knew mankind had spread across the stars. He knew, in limited terms, the horrors that awaited his people. He also knew that other worlds nearby were inhabited. With a quiet eagerness he anticipated meeting his brothers across the stars. With those thoughts foremost in his mind he began building great radio towers, designed to broadcast messages of unity to the neighboring systems.
-
These fell on deaf ears. Unknown to Marcus the surrounding planets of the Sinister System had all been corrupted in one way or another.

>>50556820
and where we go from there. maybe fist anon or the writer has some ideas

>>50554139
I admit I may misunderstood your words; sorry. I'll try to work in the notion that Marcus' whole body was deteriorating but I think the condition's spread to his Marines makes for good drama. Fair deal?

>>50556910
I think we have covered enough genetic defects. I think it has more character as something that just affects him, him as a person, rather than his genetic legacy.

It even works better if his sons start adopting a misguided practice, something they have no need for.

>>50552203
In my head his hand was always weaker and it failed him in the fight so he lost it; in his case his nerve damage was originally limited to just his hand but I might amend that now that the original Fists guy came back.

>>50556910
No fair deal has to be made with me, im happy with any of those outcomes and id love to hear any other suggestion.
>>50556820
>>50556907
I think last time someone suggested Faustus? i'm not sure faustus is great choice personally. i quite enjoyed playing up marcus split loyalty between the emps and mech as well as the "myth", if you will, that he was found by the mechanicus before being known about by big E. So something that plays with that could be cool. Also back when Marcus was the 3rd found primarch Raydon had a strong relationship with Marcus for being the first primarch he meets that isn't the sneaky fucking war master. With that bit gone maybe something including Raydon would explain their bond.

>>50557019
That could be cool, one of Raydons outrider fleets receives the radio transmission and he goes to investigate.

>>50557019
I went with Faustus in my write up but I can change that if we think it works better.

In my vision he ends up getting council from an Enginseer because of problems with his fleet and the Gene-Seed, so he ends up being doing a great deal of Martian heavy lifting.

If I were to sum up my interpretation of his view of the Emperor it would be distant; he had his own family so he had no real paternal affection for Big E. On the other hand he wanted to learn and the Emperor was more than willing to teach; of course so was Mars so he ends up with conflicting objectives. Ultimately Mars ends up picking him ironically.

>>50557068
>problems with his fleet and the Gene-Seed
Whats all this then?

Also, any issue with geneseed should have him seeking out Faustus - a genomancer.

>>50557101
...That is a fantastic point. Thank you; I'll amend it so that Raydon finds him and he seeks out Faustus so that explains his bonds with the two. Thanks for the idea.

>>50557019
>>50557068

We could have an Ark Mechanicum find him and he gets close with the Magi as they explore and figure stuff out. He makes sure they explain what's going on and he helps them, etc etc.

Anything to keep him distant from the Emperor a while.

>>50556892
These fell on deaf ears. Unknown to Marcus the surrounding planets of the Sinister System had all been corrupted in one way or another. Albeit by greed, not the warp. All four saw the fragile world of Taris Sinister and began a single-minded campaign to take it over and drain it for its resources. The war was swift, brutal, and virtually without quarter. Marcus was driven from his capital and he and the isolated tribes of his world were forced to take shelter in the Fortress of Steel. Once within Marcus sought to take back his world though subterfuge and misdirection. Radio towers soon broadcast every sort of conflicting order imaginable and soon the land forces were fighting one another.
Before this nightmare could escalate the Second Legion arrived in system and sought to figure out what was going on.

>>50557292
I like where its going, but I think it works better if it's Admech, with some marines along for the ride. That way it starts up his relationship with the Mechanicum from the beginning.

>>50557791
I disagree. Raydon is known for palming off responsiblity so its possible he takes with him some magos to investigate the mechanical ruins. Or leaves Marcus with the magos.

Besides worst case is he meets the ad mec later and gets fascinated by them.

>>50557897
Whilst i want to agree i cant back that reasoning.

>worst case he meets Raydon later

It goes both ways.

>>50557292
Before this nightmare could escalate the Second Legion arrived in system and sought to figure out what was going on. The 104th Expeditionary Fleet was a joint Cult Mechanicus and Crimson Warhawk force with the Mechanicus there ostensibly to provide tech support to the recently recruited marines and their piratical Primarch Raydon; in reality they were a blatant leash around II Legion’s neck; consequently the two sides hated one another and as a result the Taris System Conflict became a virtual quagmire; the Mechanicus vessels wanted to open negotiations while Raydon simply began issuing threats, taking ships, and generally raiding.

>>50558067
In the confusion no one really knew how to deal with the situation; Arch Magos Symbron Fed sought to gather information and traveled to speak with the other planets individually while leaving Raydon to investigate the fourth planet of Taris Sinister with a lowly Enginseer named Kallez Haller as an adjutant. The humble Tech-Priest followed the Space Marines onto the surface and straight into an ambush; Marcus had seen their landing and advanced on their position from a wall of rejuvenated Servitors.
To say the II Legion made short work of them would be generous. However the rag clad giant whose followers kept sniping them was a different story. He fought like a lion in spite of being clad in only rags was seemingly imperious to harm and despite his size was unnaturally quick. Bolt rounds seemed to never touch him and when blades cut him they remained lodged in his body, seemingly to no effect. He brutalized over a dozen marines before Raydon’s shot him in the chest… only for the giant to snarl and use a nearby marine as a bludgeon. The two fought for over an hour before a nameless marine managed to cripple him with a volkite round to the knee.

>>50558094
>A Primarch is fighting another Primarch
>doesn't realize
>took an arrow to the knee

Has this all been an elaborate troll?

>>50558129
>>took an arrow to the knee
No I just felt we needed some action eventually. I can cut it. I also wanted to give Marcus and Raydon a more friendly Lion-Russ dynamic. while giving him an excuse to be buddy-buddy with the strange machine men who have murder tentacles. In hindsight I should cut the Primarch fight as it wouldn't make sense for Raydon to go planetside.

Also as a morbid joke I'm writing it so Marcus keeps losing limbs. He had nerve damage so after a certain point he doesn't feel pain. As a result he just keeps getting parts cut off. He's like the Black Knight.

>>50558188
Raydon would go planetside, its been said that his biggest weakness as a Primarch (and leader) is that he did a lot of things himself, even when he might be better positioned elsewhere.

As seen here >>50525493
>Immature Leadership
It also makes sense he would "feel" like he should go, in reference to his unnatural instincts.

But Raydon was only a tier below Klaus, Aodhan, and Kor in terms of fighting - whilst Marcus was only average. I'd think he would be able to win the fight, doubly so if he is armed and armoured against a Primarch in rags.

>>50558067
>>50558094
This is quite different to the charactisation of Raydon previously. In saying that - i like it. Its still early days (within the first decade of the Crusade) so Raydon might not have had time to develop his operator tendencies yet, still more of a pirate than a soldier.

I also like the idea that he has a watcher, i mean only a few years ago he would have been on the Imperiums 10 most wanted so it totally fits.

Thanks for adding a new and distinct flavour.

>>50558258
I can rewrite that; I always saw Raydon as more of a marksman than a close range guy so I missed that part. I'll post the redone version in a sec.

>>50558067
>>50558094
>>50558319
Well done anon that's really good
>>50558188
>Also as a morbid joke I'm writing it so Marcus keeps losing limbs. He had nerve damage so after a certain point he doesn't feel pain. As a result he just keeps getting parts cut off. He's like the Black Knight.
I love this! Its a great idea and fits perfectly with his ultimate fate

>>50558094
With the loss of the leader the Tribesmen surrendered and began to shrewdly negotiate terms. Raydon left the talks to Kallaz Haller. He sought to take his battered brother aboard his flagship and sought to reawaken him as soon as possible. Once onboard his Stormbird he got half his wish as Marcus awoke and decked him, after which the erratic giant was calmed by the diplomatic Haller, who reported that his men were fine and that he was amongst friends now. Marcus, serious injured by Primarch standards and relieved to find that his remaining people had not been slaughtered immediately gravitates to the humble Enginseer.
Marcus was taken onboard Raydon’s flagship and all but usurped the communications station, and immediately began breaking codes, sending false orders, and reporting the deployment of ships. Raydon considered trying to haul him out of the station but was persuaded by the comedy of seeing a ten foot tall superhuman carefully decoding ship transmissions. Within hours the once unified enemy fleet is little more than scavenger fodder for the II Legion… just in time for Arch Magos Symbron to call and ask what’s going on. Peace talks were about to finish when Marcus and Raydon launched their war of signals.

>>50558442
I'm going to hit the sack; I have more saved from last thread so please go over and take what you want. As long as we come up with something we're happy with for the wiki I'm game.
G'dnight team.

>>50558372
So Marcus is going to out-amputee Engerand? That's an accomplishment.

There should be one or two parts of Marcus' origin left, correct?

>>50558067
>>50558094
>>50558442
I like this a lot. Sets up a neat arc for Raydon and explains why despite being found so early, he's not more involved.

One thought though. At this point, wouldn't Marcus have something nicer to wear?

>>50562796
I like seeing interaction between Marcus and Raydon in general. Serves as a good explanation as to why the Warhawks are so welcome in the Forgespace come 40k.

>>50562796
I was going with the idea he never really got nicer clothes; he was raised by mechanics and then lived with plains tribes people so by this point he's probably wearing a poncho and pants.
I'll be back tonight gotta head to work.

>>50562796
I always thought the reasons he wasnt super active in the stuff of otherz boiled down to
1) he seems pretty antisocial except a few brothers
2) he speaks out against the emperor for things he doesnt like
3) he is part of the vanguard / out rider fleet that is far ahead of the majority of the crusade fleets.

>>50564600
I'm really liking the image of the poncho. Kind of a Clint Eastwood thing going on, but with more mariachi.

>>50564830
That's fair. He's got a lot in common with the Khan, but even with that, I think it's neat to see him at a stage where he isn't quite comfortable with command and it complicates things with Marcus.
Means that when years later, the two campaign together, they have more to their dynamic, since Marcus remembers Raydon as that Pirate guy adrenaline junkie and hasn't seen how he's changed his persona and grown into command.
Means Marcus brings out a side of Raydon he doesn't typically dhare.

>>50565321
So how's that for him? Should we move on to the next legion?

File: 1473968424529.png (30KB, 853x543px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 853x543px

>>50566666
Next primarch is Oramar, whose legion desperately needs a cognomen (prior).

Also check 'em

>>50567351
It occured to me that up until at least the 4-5 primarchs found point. That several legions would be under the command of singular primarchs.

This might be a good way to divy up the mentoring aspect talked about previously.

So Alexios might have mentored those Primarchs that were put in charge of a legion that was once his.

In which case the majority of subsequent primarchs should be mentored by either

Warmaster
Faustus
Raydon
Alexios
Marcus

Maybe give a 70/30 split between alexios and faustus to allow one his isolation and the other his teacheryness

>>50567351
Next primarch would be Alexios no?

Are we doing legion number or sequence of discovery or something else all together

>>50567462
That seems pretty reasonable to me. It also seems like the Warmaster is building a network from the beginning, with Alexios being the big rival in that project. Is that because Apocryphon and Alexios have an immediate dislike or are they both naturally inclined to such things?

Also Raydon seems less likely to mentor, it takes him a while to get used to command and prefers to be on the fringes.

>>50567549
I think we were going randomly, letting the dice decide, hence the weird order. But thus far, we've done Kashaln, Balthasar, Raydon, Marcus, which would make IV next. That's Enoch?

>>50567896
Oh, my bad, that'd be Kashaln, which makes V, Oramar next.

>>50567351
Also, holy shit.

Does Oramar remind anyone else of Olimar? I can't help but picture him as Olimar. Not a problem, just a fact.

I think the big question with them is what they're like before the Big-O shows up. Presumably they've got a scholarly and mobile vibe to them, maybe like White Scars if they were lore-keepers?
I've been picturing jetbikes everywhere, which they then upgrade to all sorts of Xeno-tech. Perhaps they hang out with Anders early on, as well and this has something to do with it so that the commanders are used to the idea of "borrowing" xenotech.

And how does that first contact go? Is it the same level of mistrust as with Ansul and that cool guy whose name I am forgetting?

The other big thing I think we need to talk about is just how Xenos get treated in the Great Crusade. Just how much impact does Anders have? Anders clearly isn't getting censured, which implies to me that he's closer to mainstream than he might have been in another timeline.
The reason this matters here is because it impacts how Oramar gets his Xeno-bent.

>>50567549
I thought we were doing legion number sequence.

>>50568175
I skipped Kashaln because we went over him in depth the other day.

>>50568758
>>50568321
Right, so Oramar is the next one after Kashaln.

So Oramar.
Besides the questions >>50568175
What do we know about Oramar?
Azrimuth is a desert planet with salt flats and Eldar?/Xeno ruins. And he's all riding around with the raiders on their hover-skiffs, yeah?

>>50558442
This did not please Marcus; however he noted that should the Arch Mago want to hand an ancient supply ship and antique servitors to the other planets in the system he was free to. After a few hours of saving face Marcus simply offered to make his planet into a Forge-World as long as Mars repaired the damages done by the war. Symbron, relieved to find that he hadn’t handed Archeotech with possible STCs over to an upstart Forge System gratefully accepted and granted Marcus free pass amongst the Mechanicus fleet until they rejoined with the III Legion.
>That's the origin. From there he spends a few months amongst AdMech forces. I have a few notes on his Great Crusade activites but that would turn this into a Marcus thread.

>>50569953
So Azrimuth is a desert planet with xeno-tech; maybe it would have both Eldar and Hrud gear laying around? Just to Oramar is more than an Knife-Ear lover.
Otherwise I'd like to see if there was already a strong inclination in the warp for its culture. As in psykers are accepted and whatnot.

>>50570791
Other than that, does Oramar conquer his own planet, and if so how does he do it?

I see him simply using his superior tech to convince the other tribes of his legitimacy and kill anyone who disagrees.

Otherwise I'd like to see him encounter some Dark Eldar just to give him a taste of what the wider galaxy holds and how unpleasant a place it is.

Could his knowledge come from capturing one and pulling a Nagesh?

>>50570871
That makes a lot of sense with him.

What if Azrimuth is raided by Deldar from time to time? It's not a primary target, more like the situation on Nocturne.
Oramar catches one, tortures it for knowledge and then leads the desert tribes against the Deldar.

>>50570791
I agree it would be nice to have more than Eldar-tech. Catch is that they're the Xenos we know best, so their stuff usually comes to mind most immediately. Hrud tech could work, but the entropic fields would cause potential problems.

We could make up a Xenos species? They'd effectively be NOT-Eldar local to Azrimuth. Maybe they got destroyed while trying to find ways to deal with chaos, which is part of what gets Oramar started with sorcery?

Could be some strange species with psycho-active technology, long spindly legs adapted to the deserts of Azrimuth. Reptilian, perhaps. Doesn't matter much, since they're long dead.
TBC

>>50571011
How about the SaJust move their acquisition of the neurotech up a few millennia http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Saruthi

>>50571080
Sorry I meant the Saruthi.

>>50571092
Could work, Saruthi society collapses due to a chaos induced civil war, leaving Oramar with a Xenotech armory and found footage warnings about the Great Annihilator. Doesn't give us much besides a name and a rough biological portrait to go off, though.
Not that it matters much, these guys are a plot device, yeah?
Just some way of sourcing the technology the Warp Raiders have. Only potential issue is ergonomics. Ideally the technology is viable for astartes to use.

>>50567896
I think he would struggle with this /sort/ of command.

A pirate captain is in command of his ship and/or leads the assaults.

An Imperial commander is further back, relying on his rank and appointment rather than the support of his troops.

For those that get the reference. Raydon commands more like Guts - in the early days he is found where he can personally achieve the most. Rather than where his intellect might be able to maximise the effectiveness of the force overall.

Primarchs that he could mentor i think
- aodhan, marcus, saul.

Marcus when he is still new to the idea.
Aodhan where he sees a kindrid spirit but is also more mature and can act as a temperance
Saul where he has adopted a much more military perspective. Something Saul begins to embody.

Its also a good reason as to why he actually likes them and hangs with them where otherwise he is a bit of a recluse.

>>50568175
That description makes.me think his forces should lie with Alexios before hand. Very similiar doctrine.

But could Alexios handle mentoring Oramar?

>>50570791
I say post it anyway. It doesnt need to detract and if it doesnt pick up interest because peoples attention is elsewhere you can always post it later.

>>50571530
So notionally, we want, what? Something like Sartuthi Xenotech or Azrimuth Xeno-Archaeotech:

>Saruthi Foldspace Generator (That works great, too, since they do make use of that)
Teleportation and short distance wormhole type things

>Saruthi Phase-Lance
Something like an 18" S4 AP6 Assault 3 or something.

>Saruthi Gravitic Jets
This is the source of the anti-grav technology for the sand-skiffs.

>Saruthi Phase-Blade
Melee S+1 AP4 Rending or something

>Saruthi Communion Helm
+1 LD, -1 to enemy cover saves

Just something to give them a bit of neat Xenotech that's not clearly Eldar.


>>50571681
Agreed. I'd meant higher level, campaign scale command. Obviously Raydon is quite good with his ship.

And that sounds pretty good to me.

>>50571757
>Alexios attempting to mentor Oramar

YES
Have him get found by Anders, get shipped to Terra, meet E-Money.
>Shit, another xeno-lover on our hands. Alexios straighten him out. He's got your style, too.
>Oramar, I love the jetbikes, but do we have to steal every last bit of xenotech we see?
>But check it out bro! This wraithbone is folded over one billion times! It's superior to terran ceramite!
>Ok, honestly, you picked a good one. Those Banshee Executioners are damn nice. +2S AP2 at initiative? We should hand those out. But do we really have to collect Splinter guns and those weird Eldar Cartoons?
>Anders does it.
>....
>Anders senpai and I watched all kinds of Eldar "cartoons" as you so indelicately call them.
>But the tentacles!
>ITS CULTURAL

>>50571843
Have we actually decided what Oramar's personality is? I mean his write up just seems to make him seem knowledge focused but it doesn't really talk about why.

Could we give him a paranoia angle? He's getting visions all the time and while ever nine in ten is right he misinterprets one and that tends to backfire on him?

>>50573572
paranoia is kinda the WH deal isnt it?

>>50573572
From what I recall, Oramar is cold and calculating. His fondness for Xenos is less about them and more about the hidden information they have access to.

I definitely like the paranoia angle. It would help drive him towards ever more extreme rituals to get that last little bit right.

Also means that his eventual censure proves all of his worst fears correct.
If he's secretive, then it also means his friends can be totally blindsided by some of the accusations that get pulled out at Nikea, too.

Xun could be all ready to back him only to find out that Oramar has been doing far stranger things than they'd discussed. Anshul is similarly stunned and Oramar's two closest friends are left speechless as the court moves to condemn.

Perhaps part of what gets Anshul to start digging a bit too deep is him trying to figure out just what Oramar was up to.

>Xun "Oh shit, I'm going to be careful now"
> Anshul "yeah, but Oramar wasn't crazy. He was on to something. That reminds me of something I read..."
>Be careful, I don't want to lose another brother.

When next they meet, it's during the heresy and the question is "What did Oramar know"

>>50574007
I like where this is going; I like the idea that the Heresy in this universe is rooted more in Oroamar's censure and how the Warmaster used that to secure his position - the idea that [REDACTED] was always against the Emperor albeit not always chaotic.
I feel like Anshul and Xun's rivalry needs some more focus next thread; like after we've nailed down the origins of all the Primarch's we should move on to rivalries and alliances and extrapolate that into the present timeline.

But back on track I propose that Oramar landed on Azrimuth and was taken in by a tribe of sand sailors who took notice of how he always seemed to know the best way to avoid storms and began using him as a living compass.

He grows up honing his psyker gifts without even realizing it and knows that every time his gift of prophecy lets him down it means the entire tribe is at risk for death by sand storm.

>>50574007
>Oramar, Anshul, Xun are those guys who spend their lunch times playing chess
>Oramar is the one that escalates an does something truly radical

File: IMG_0291.jpg (152KB, 620x558px) Image search: [Google]

152KB, 620x558px

>>50566666
Quints for the Warp Raiders, holy shit.

>>50575319
I don't see how riding the chessboard like a skateboard helps him win, but it would definitely be rad.

>>50568175
How xenos were treated in the OU was often dependent on the Primarch that ran into them. Fulgrim liked to sanction and preserve xenos with art and stuff that he liked.

Anders was probably very sanction-happy, whereas guys like Alexios didn't even consider it. IIRC Xun and Aodhan are pretty lenient too, Xun for practical reasons and Aodhan because the Great Crusade was a big adventure for him.

Remember that even before it breaks down in the Heresy, the IoM is less like a single empire and more like a bunch of small kingdoms that have fealty to a loosely defined superior somewhere out there in distant space. The galaxy is too big and Warp travel is too inefficient for it to be truly monolithic.

>>50567351
Couldn't the Legion just be called the Warp Raiders? I don't see why their name would be inappropriate.

>>50575319
>"So, guys, today I was thinking we could play 4e."
>"But Oramar, dad says 4e is weeaboo trash! 3.5 was the last good edition!"
>"3.5 has clear flaws, guys. And what's the worst that could happen, really?"

LATER

>"How could you do this, Aodhan!? You were supposed to bring balance to Pathfinder, not leave it in ruins!"
>"Raydon, have you honestly never considered just not playing D&D? I have the Riddle of Steel core book with me..."
>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

>>50576653
Wouldn't Oramar be more of a Call of Cthulhu guy though?

>>50576689
Corruption is a gradual process.

First you're considering that 4e might be better than Caster Edition. Then before you know it, you're playing CoC and seriously considering Unknown Armies.

>>50576310
I kinda agree.

I guess they could have been called something like Void Wraiths or Astral Spiders or whatever.

By the way, Oramar was a desert raider right? Is it intentional pottery that he fights and is mortally wounded by another pirate Primarch during the Heresy?

>>50576653
>>50576732
>>50576689
I find this thoroughly entertaining. Clearly the archeotech of the RPG should never have been recovered... Alas, it had such promise as Mechanicum first found it in the ruins of ancient cities of Terra, long sice buried and forgotten among the millenia.

>>50577294
I just think it's kind of weird that they have warp in their name. It seems like it should have been taboo.

>>50579222
But anyone aware of the Imperium and the Legiones Astartes would atleast know about the Warp as a means of transportation. It's the truth about the Warp, it being a seperate realm filled with unspeakable horrors, that's taboo.

What do you guys use to make stats for units? I'm thinking of making a sheet for Idrias Stern.

>>50579222
I think there's a crusade Era Titan legion called the warp runners.

>>50577294
I'd be down for Astral Spiders if it just didn't sound so... off? It might just be that I don't like how spider sounds in an army name. Just reminds me of Spiderman.

>>50576268
Good point. I suppose Oramar is one end of the spectrum and really the Emperor gives no shits except when chaos is involved and so when he finds out he's been Abracadabbling in heresy he acts. The fact that it freaks everyone out about Xenos is just a perk.
After we've done the 20, we should really go back to Nikea and probably Ullanor.

>>50574501
Agreed.
I also like the idea that he gets his start with instinctual sandcunning.

Could someone actually put Raydon and Marcus' stuff on their pages? That would be fantastic.

I also feel like the layout for the Crimson Warhawks page is a bit of a mess. The wiki is gonna be a lot of work in the future, but for now, let's just continue with origin stories.

>>50581719
Can do. Just been stuck on mobile means for a few days.

>>50574007
>>50574501
>>50575891
>>50579222
So then what I'm getting is that Oramar is a neckbeard's neckbeard.

He's raised on Azrimuth, navigating around sandstorms. He's growing up, leading a tribe and getting ready to do the primarch world conquest thing when oh shit, Deldar hunting season. Give it a cool name like Season of the Witch.

Oramar takes shelter in the forbidden ruins, which are Saruthi. He finds some neat stuff and the Deldar won't follow them in. They begin to use the Saruthi tech. He leads some raids out and at some point gets a prophecy wrong and gets a close friend or whatever killed. Leads to more study. He has to know. Starts seeing records of a Great Annihilator. Catches a Deldar, tortures it for information, gets a garbled version of the Fall, his Eldar sucks and the Kabalite can barely speak Gothic, much less Oramar's dialect.
Fights off the Dark Eldar in part by capturing their shit and using it. Before you know it, Space Arabian Knights are riding Raiders.

The Deldar Kabal is pissed, though, dishonor on their house, dishonor on their cow, etc, so they're coming back.

Anders shows up right as they're doing this and Anders and Oramar fight them off.
Anders hates Dark Eldar with a burning passion because they specifically target civilians and all that.
This means that Oramar sees Anders in his rarely observed badass mode as the Paladins, with a mix of Xenotech and bolters and xeno Auxiliae purge Dark Eldar.
When Oramar later tells about how Anders was a total badass and ripped off an Archon's head, the response is more or less confusion and laughter.
Catch is that Oramar has vague premonitions of civil war. He's not sure enough to say anything and isn't sure what causes it.
As a result, he never shows all his cards. That and he's also a quiet, reserved kind of guy. He acts deliberately, when he's sure. This can mean acting on a hunch, but he prefers certainty, hence his auguries. I think he suffers from Magnus' delusion.

>>50583540
I think its cooler if the paladins dont use xenotech themselves. They just use auxillaries who are xeno and use their own weapons.

>>50583540
I think pushing a strong relationship between Oramar and Anders could be very interesting, all the way to M41.

>>50585150
>someone liking Anders
Of course the guy was a heretic. It all makes sense now.

>>50585150
I like that. It would add fuel to Alexios' suspicions and give a potential motive for Warp Raider activity during the Damocles Gulf Crusade.

>>50583540
This is interesting; does Oramar mentor under Anders? Does he idolize him to any extent?

I admit I find the idea of one Primarch fanboying over another to be really funny.

But getting back on track I propose that Oramar is very unlike Magus in that he does take precautions due to his paranoia. He knows enough about the Eldar that he knows that the Warp is bad mojo but not enough to know exactly how bad it is. His fall comes more from the fact that he's always almost right but not quite.

His sight is near perfect and he makes judgements based on that so eventually he bets on the wrong horse as it were.

>>50588278
I think he ends up getting sent to study under Alexios, which just makes things worse. Given the Primarchs are just fantastically poorly adjusted in the OU, why not? Oramar might have a vision of Anders doing something critical and could definitely look up to him.

That's a fair point about the arrogance. He does seem to keep a better eye on his assumptions.
I suppose his problem is that he underestimated just how weird the warp is. He never quite accounted for Malay. I imagine there's some sort of neat Heisenberg Uncertainty symbolism or motif we could put in here, with Oramar fixing the image as he tries to resolve it until he's left himself no escape.

>>50588278
>>50588608
Found by Anders - who he stays with for a few years, before meeting up with Alexios to train formally under him.

Whilst under Alexios he essentially represses a lot of his ideas and his prophetic ability.

When he goes out on his own though (maybe half a decade later?) He starts to experiment with utilising xeno tech, first in small prototype bridages. Then after a few campaigns where they have proven their effectiveness (or failed to and are then disbanded) he starts to roll out things like hoverboard riders across the legion.

Its shortly after this "full rollout" that the council is held.

>>50590798

New thread.