ITT instant red flags

I played DnD with a stripper once, but that wasn't online

But the real problem is if they think you need to know about any of that.

>she refuses to share photos or speak in voice chat

Homie, I know so many dudes who are totally not down for doing that shit. Internet has shitheads, I wouldn't voicechat with randos.

>>49415598
Although, if the whole point was anonymity, "she" probably should have not said anything about her appearance or job in the first place.

>>49415535
Can you provide a link to the last thread? I don't want to say anything redundant.

I don't do voice chat because I'm mute.

Fuck you if you don't believe me.

>>49415548
I played with a prostitute, it was fine
I had more problems with the campaign she ran than anything else

>>49415691
okay then

>>49415611

Sometimes people let shit slip in conversation that they are just used to talking about or sharing in their friend circles or otherwise comfortable and controlled situations.

>>49415701
You hired a prostitute because you didn't find players?

>>49415711
Maybe the fact that she's female and works as a stripper, but most reasonable people wouldn't claim to be "super hot" over text chat.

>>49415712
No, I found an ad for a game in my lgs and lo and behold she was the GM
it was a mediocre d&d 3.5 campaign

>>49415743

That's beautiful.

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>When they name their elven rogue Hamilton

>>49415817
who?

>>49415743
The idea of paying hookers to play your D&D campaign has its own bizarre joy, though.

>>49415719

Most reasonable people make poor jokes.

>>49415691
Say that to my face!

>>49415535
reminds me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRsuBZvxg_8&list=PLPXBot2-dQsb01ErSvhlyrtNHGippAmP-

>>49415817
Who?

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>>49415712
That sounds like the premise for a romantic comedy. A lonely nerd without friends hires a jaded prostitute who has been in the business for years... to play D&D. Even more surprisingly she enjoys it and a timeless friendship starts to evolve. He can tell that she's starting to become more optimistic and is taking efforts to turn her life around, she can tell that he's becoming more confident and comfortable around women. And let's not forget about the heartwarming climax where the nerd gets a girlfriend and invites her over as a third player, making things really awkward for the (now ex-)prostitute. Especially because the lovebirds are sickingly lovey-dovey.
You can pinpoint the exact moment her heart breaks.

>>49415974
>NTR

It needs to die

>>49416006
Why does this trigger everyone so?

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>>49416006
It's not really a happy ending if he ends up with used good, is it? And not even used goods in the "lonely Christmas cake left behind by her own generation" sense, because that'd actually be kind of cute.

>>49415691
I don't believe you. Fuck yourself mutie.

>>49416071
> used goods
Use bleach as mouthwash.

>>49415974
Well, fuck me, I'd watch that.

>>49416091

Don't be so harsh, you can't expect him to understand relationships or even how humans work.

>>49415974
Cast John Reilly and Andrea Dematteo.
Id pay to see that.

>>49416112

Frame perfect heart break?

"beer me"
>she Ensures me instead
BITCH I AM NOT ON A DIET
>s-sorry anon, I just wanted to ensure you didn't... didn't break any more chairs...
CHAIRS? CHAIRS ARE THE LAST THING YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT BEING BROKEN, I ASSURE YOU

>>49416125
I just googled them and shit, they'd actually be great. John Reilly is maybe a bit too old, but other than that they're perfect.

>>49416071
But then he finds out the girlfriend is even a greater whore than the ex prostitute and he ends up with the ex prostitute in the end.

The ex girlfriends becomes a prostitute herself now, to still her hunger for sex.

>>49416136
Then he becomes a whore

>>49416136
>But then he finds out the girlfriend is even a greater whore
Why doesn't he become voluntarily celibate?
That'd be a great set-up for the sequel: he's now a total ladies man who manks panties drop everywhere he goes, but he now hates women so it's more of a curse than a blessing.

>>49416071
IT NEEDS TO DIE

>>49416145
He hates women, so he ends up having angry sex with all of them. And they pay him for it.

>>49416168
so
>>49416140

He spirals downwards, injecting drugs into his dick and becoming dependent on his dealer. She in turn exploits him, offering free or discounted rates in turn for sex. Sometimes she'll just withhold from him unless he sleeps with her friends.

It ends with him looking in spoon that once held drugs and seeing his own reflection, realizing what he has become.

>>49415535
>she ensures you
>ensures
This is triggering me.
>>49416048
It's moral masochism.

>>49416234
>>49416129

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>>49416204
I doubt it'd have any emotional impact on most of the viewers if it's a man rather than a woman.

>>49415535
>butipoopfromthere.jpg

>>49416245
>What is Taxi
>Scratch that, what is most of the history of tragedy

>>49416256
You can't deny that, especially for modern humans, it's far easier to identify with a woman than with a man. I can imagine the Old Greeks identifying with other men more easily because not only were women not allowed to attend (even female characters were played by trappy male actors) but women in that culture were seen as barely better than children.

>>49416266
>You can't deny that, especially for modern humans, it's far easier to identify with a woman than with a man.
Sure I can. Sure, we identify purity/innocence/goodness more with women than men, meaning their downfall can have more punch from that specific perspective (if that's how its played), but even then there are ways around that.

Also, women were definitely seen as more than children by at least some people. Just read the Iliad -- women aren't helpless emotional tards who can't do anything, although I am sure plenty of Greeks thought they were.

>>49416048
isn't that the whole point of fetishes like that? like "oh that really makes upset pal. and sexed up"

if you aren't getting a boner then you're just plain perturbed.

>>49415974
there was a foreign movie with a similar premise, but I forget the name. A spoilt gangsters wife has to get a job in a gaming store when the gangster is jailed, and has to learn about DnD or something. She starts to like it and leaves the gangster for one of the nerds at the store. It was swedish or something.

>>49416298
I mean of all the fetishes out there, NTR seems to be the one that can kill threads due to bickering about it. Others are ignored, ridiculed or whatever, but NTR divides people like nothing else.

>>49416278
Women have qualities men don't have. And men have qualities women don't have.
One gender shouldn't put down the other.

>>49416328
Nah.

>>49416328
>Women have qualities men don't have.
Name one.

>>49416336
>>49416354
Are you fucking joking?

>>49416354
They're soft and they smell nice.

>>49415535
I mean it matters very little, unless you're playing with voicechat. Why you getting caught up in other people's lies?

>>49416369
I am not. I see no reason why I should not put down another gender.
>>49416374
Men can be soft and smell nice too you fucking faggot.

>>49416354
I was talking more about the ying yang principle.

The men is the hunter, the sun, provides food.
The woman is the guardian of the home, the moon, raises the children.

But you could boil it down to:
Woman quality is vagina.
Men quality is penis.

Women is looking for penis.
Men is looking for vagina.

Both complete each other.

>>49415535
ITT: >Shit that didn't happen two
>electric boogalo

>>49416382
Go back to your trap threads and 'feminine' penises. Women have those qualities more often than not, men do not more often than not.

>>49415974

The girlfriend invites some of her friends over to play, and the party grows, meanwhile the ex-prostitute lapses back into her old self, quickly growing more depressed. Eventually the girlfriend determines that it is kind of weird that the nerd keeps inviting back this prostitute who obviously has some feelings for the nerd, and that she has to go.

The nerd relents, pressured into it by his growing group of friends, and his relationship with the girlfriend, he stops inviting her to games, feeling too guilty to tell her outright. He slowly accrues a horde of texts from the ex-prostitute wondering when the next game is. Feeling even worse, he determines she at least deserves to know the truth.

He meets with her alone for one last two-player game. Instantly she seems revitalized when she sees it will just be the two of them for this session. The nerd smiles outwardly, but is crushed inside. At the end of the session, she tearfully tells him that she loves him, but that she doesn't believe she deserves him, and that she hopes he is happy with her. Adding that she hopes she can still remain friends with him. At this the nerd breaks down into tears as well, and informs her of the situation. She listens with a blank expression, though the tears still hang fresh on her face, the crying has ceased. She gives a very obviously forced smile as she says she understands, and that she won't bother them anymore, and leaves without saying another word.

As he cleans up the assorted game material he notices that on the table her dice sit forlornly, dice the nerd had bought for her as a gift when she first started playing. He packages up the dice for her, intent on returning the dice, but he can't bring himself to contact her.

Some days later, the nerd finally attempts to contact her. His calls are not returned, nor his texts. He sighs, browsing the daily local news, he sees a familiar face in the obituaries.

BAD END

>>49416394
Oh? We're at "more often than not" now, are we? Funny, I don't remember that qualifier.

>>49415535
>"Can we have the game at my house this weekend? I'm supposed to watch the kids."

>>49416400
Yes. Faggot.

> You're playing Eberron? Great! I will play as a shifter.

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>>49416395
You made me feel sad for used goods, I won't forgive you for this.

>>49416446

Soz, I needed practice writing about bad things happening to characters I like.

ALTERNATE ENDING:
...At the end of the session, she tearfully tells him that she loves him, but that she doesn't believe she deserves him, and that she hopes he is happy with her. Adding that she hopes she can still remain friends with him. At this the nerd breaks down into tears as well, and knows what he must do. He told her that he loved her also. Her eyes go wide with surprise and she hastens to stammer a response. She asks him about his current girlfriend, and he responds that he has realized that she is not the girl for him, and pulls her into an embrace.
His disengages and pulls out his phone and contacts the soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend, and informs her that he is breaking up with her. The screams can be heard across the room, she accuses him of wanting to be with the ex-prostitute, and he informs her that she is absolutely right, and that he could never be with somebody as cruel as herself. Figuring he has about used up his allotment of courage for the day, he hangs up on her without another word. He smiles at her, she smiles at him, and they both sit down for another game. Later that night, he discovers that he had a little bit more courage left than he thought.


GOOD END

>>49416564
Don't cave in so fast faggot, have some self respect.

Embrace your anger.

Sometimes I get the impression there's a lot of men on these boards who have a numerous unresolved resentments, hostility and shame towards women.

>>49416604
Gee, you think?

>>49416604
I think it's an easy cop out to say that if someone has issues with women then they must be shameful basement dwellers.

>>49416637
What is he copping out of though?

He's saying that many anons have a problem with women and that it's likely due to being NEETs.

>>49416604
Really? What makes you say that?

>>49416648
Nah, some people who get laid and live active lives can't stand the opposite sex for anything other than sex.

>>49416604
You're right. The question is whether those resentments and hostility are justified or not. But most people are happy to just diagnose them and automatically conclude they're in the wrong.

>>49416697
>The question is whether those resentments and hostility are justified or not.

It has to be a really fucking good justification to resent/be hostile about half of humanity.

Like, did a pair of X chromosomes bully you in utero or something?

>>49416773
>>It has to be a really fucking good justification to resent/be hostile about half of humanity.
What is third wave feminism.

>>49416785
Not half of humanity.

Instant red-flags.
>characters sexuality is mentioned before it becomes relevant.
I.e. If you introduce your character as "she's a lesbian elf bard", as opposed to "she's an elf bard" and then mentioning she's a lesbian when a guy starts hitting on her.
>character is transgender, Demi-queer, or any other such crap.
If you're doing a role playing heavy campaign or a parody campaign then you can probably get away with it, but don't be bringing "thronda the Demi-queer transsexual" to my hack n' slash dungeon crawler"
>character is directly ripping off an established work of media
As above, it's okay if you're doing a parody or a joke in a light hearted game where other people are okay with it, but if you're running a serious campaign then I don't expect to see "Erika the snow witch".

>>49416006
It's not NTR if you never had them to begin wtih senpai.

>>49415535
>>How sensitive are you to trans people, and how prevalent are they in this world?

>>49415535
While that is a bit of a flagged one (I'm super hot but no I won't show you, teehee), I totally get the whole no voice and no pictures thing.

I'm a girl. I'm shy as fuck. Unless voice chat is ABSOLUTELY NEEDED I'll forgo it because it's way easier for me to socialize while typing. And I don't post pictures because I just don't want to.

>>49416071
>He fell for the virgin meme.
You know what feels good?
Knowing that I'm better then any of her previous lovers.

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>>49416245
And sauce, the googles and the iqdbs do nothing.

>>49416794
But anon, it's so satisfying to make sweeping generalizations to justify your prejudices! Then you're always right and anyone who points out otherwise is making things up.

>>49415691
What kind of assholes name their kid Mute?

> I want to play as a sith.
> I want to play as a twi'lek ex-slave. Yes, she dresses like slave Leia, why are you asking?

>>49416978

ShindoL

>any player who doesn't want to use a core race or core class
>any player playing a gnome
>any player playing a monk
>any forever GM who decides they want to play
>any forever player who decides they want to GM
>all 4E players

>>49417059
What did gnomes and monks do to you, anon?

>>49417059
>any forever GM who decides they want to play
>any forever player who decides they want to GM

I get the feeling that you can't win with you

>>49417085

>any player who doesn't want to use a core race or core class

Wanna bet he plays 3.PF?

>>49416245

Nah. We're all the same. A tragedy for one is a tragedy for all.

>>49416390
That was before XXI century, now this is our reality and future https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z760XNy4VM

>>49416380
Not OP but I'd give the boot purely on the fact of bullshitting and her bringing up more than needed.
Just saying that you're a girl is "ok whatever" because it literally doesn't matter for the game.
If alleged-girl keeps bringing up, saying how she's totally hot and etc whatever, then that calls suspicion for both truthfulness and motives. And I'm not going to like that.

Also related funny story
>in an online game, no voice, half the party is female characters, mine included
>gm says that he's going to refer to everybody OOC as male to keep things simple
>everybody agrees
>after a while I notice he starts referring to me as "she" in OOC
>I'm not but IDGAF to correct and just chuckle silently

>>49417171
I like to make vague comments about my gender while playing with randoms, creating a mystery out of nothing and getting really defensive if somebody asks me directly. I don't have any specific reason for doing it, it's just for shits and giggles. People keep taking the bait.

>>49417085
Players tend to make to make terrible GM's and GM's tend to make terrible players. Obviously there's got to be a learning curve and the person can improve in their role.

But in general it is a massive red flag for me if a person who normally plays GM's or a person who normally GM plays. From experience the forever player will have no idea what they are doing and tend to run heavy combat focussed games and the forever GM will derail shit constantly by giving you advice on how to GM midsession. 'Topping from the bottom' as it were.

>>49417191
>Players tend to make to make terrible GM's and GM's tend to make terrible players

wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

>>49415535
>>Hey can my friend Wil Wheaton join?

>>49417184
I do that too, what's funny is when it happens without me even trying.

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>>49416304
>Swedish

>>49416091
>actual fucking prostitute
>not UG
Have you ever met a prostitute?
For the love of god, I've seen countless retards kissing hookers right after another dude blew it in their mouths. I've seen countless retards falling for the "this hooker loves me, she thinks I-I'm a good guy".
>B-but
She fucks for money you dumb sack of bricks, there is no bigger red flag than that unleas you want your good morning kisses to the scent of another dude's balls.
Just because you are desperate don't go full retarded.

Plus, do you want your children to factually be sons o' bitches?

>>49415548
I'm always confused why it's never assumed that one's gender and job could come up organically.

>>49416266
>what is Antigone

>>49417034
Although I'm blind I saw that coming.
Almost chuckled anyway.

>tell player a skill/feat/profession he picked doesn't work well mechanically with his character
>"Oh, I picked that for roleplaying value"
>roleplaying value means doing some lolrandom thing he's only going to do to annoy everyone

Son, nothing is stopping you from roleplaying a character that is mechanically sound, and your insistence on taking a battering ram with "because of my claustrophobia" and then taking an Improvised Weapon feat -which you never use- as a fucking Monk is not roleplaying.

>>49417578
t. powergamer

>>49415535
>ensures
The word you're trying to use is "assures".

>>49417034
Same ones who name their daughter "Pillory."

How's that for fucked?

>>49417279
You're making the mistake of thinking that some lonely nerd with no social life and no life experience ISN'T used goods.

>>49417622
Unwanted goods, more like.

>>49417583
t. sack of shit who doesn't even read the rules nor knows what "roleplaying" means

It's funny, because this guy did end up reading the rules and made an OP character that he STILL couldn't roleplay out of a wet paper bag. Except he was now so proud of his creation that he started crying as soon as he received damage.

In short: You're a lolrandumb faggot.

>>49415535
>Mention that I am a grrl in real life, he instantly wants photos and voice chat.

>DM/player has an outspoken interest in medieval history and warfare

>>49415548

I had a stripper in my V:tM game once. She was a pretty good player. Absolutely smoking hot, but nobody ever slept with her or even tried to make a play for her. She was just one of the lads.

I was GM and we did a "sex" scene (actually, her PC feeding on a normal mortal), but it was pretty quick and tame. It was my practice in those days to RP out every PC's first feeding, just to get a feel for how they hunt every night. So I wasn't singling her out.

A couple of my longstanding players (also girls) did an internet porn shoot for their BDSM group. But that was after they'd been in my group for years and it wasn't their main jobs.

Yes, this was the 90's. You kids have no fucking idea what you missed.

>>49417660
> The online group doesn't use voice chat
> The online group does use voice chat, but that single faglord isn't,

I even offered to buy her headphones, for fuck's sake, with my own money, I was that annoyed. She took twenty times as much time to make a turn as everybody else, because she had to first think of every little action she can take, then type it out. Very. Very. Slowly.

>>49415828

I would totally do that. If it was the right hooker and the right game, and if my players didn't make a big thing of it (I actually trust them on this), it would be totally inspired. The prostitutes I've known have been weird but cool and down for strange shit like TTRPGs.

>>49415974

Not a sequel or reboot, so will never make it on film.

But it's a brilliant idea.

>>49417634
t. projecting faggot

>>49417191
>Players tend to make to make terrible GM's and GM's tend to make terrible players
Is this bait?

>>49417578
I give you the battering ram and claustrofobia being lolrandumb, but bitching about one unoptimal feat on a character is dumb as well.

>>49417059
Just write
>any player
and you're done. No sense wasting all the time to type what you did up.

>>49416071
Used goods are best goods

As long she didn't do drugs, cigarettes or has any disease

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>it's another "post stories of your shitty tabletop experiences!" thread full of NARPfags

>>49417676
Don't make me miss the 90's roleplaying scene, anon.

>>49417793
Might as well thrown in "rides a unicorn" in too.

>>49415535
>when a player's character description starts with their sexuality
I wish this was a joke.

>>49416604
They're memers you dolt.

>>49417811
Fuck no, pegasi only

>>49417944
whynotboth

>>49417059
Colton, is that you?

>>49417059
That Guy alert

>>49416319
Some fetishes are really disgusting but people don't want to talk about them if someone brings them up because the matter is disgusting. You'd at most get few complaints about bringing up your magical realm and that's about it.

NTR lacks the repulsiveness of scat but at the same time, it's just mean. ...And that's why it's so easy to talk about. It is purely a fetish about someone being the victim of meanness.

Virtualoptim knows this, and that's why he spams threads with NTR fantasies. He knows that people stop and look at how can someone be such a colossal asshole that they get turned on by treating people badly.

Even BDSM has people who enjoy being punished and getting (physically) hurt and cuckolding has people who fantasize of being cucked, but NTR is purely a fantasy for people who want to hear/read/see someone get sad.

>>49417903
Little column a, little column b

>>49418035
All of column R.

>>49418035
No, in this case it's almost entirely memers. The ones who aren't memeing are the ones who are least obvious about it.

/tg/ is almost overwhelmingly un-/pol/ in terms of everything /pol/ is famous for (racism, misogyny, fascism).

>>49418028
Yeah, NTR is the worst, and I tell you as someone who has strangling, choking to death and hanging fetishes

>>49418028
>>49416319

You know what? I appreciate a good NTR story, not because I get off to it but because it makes me incredibly angry and encouraged to react to it.

Which I guess is the same as getting off to it >_>

>>49417768
Yeah the best game would be one without any players.

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>>49416304
Astrópía, a Icelandic movie.

>>49418100
You're correct. A lot of them are memeing too, when they talk about race and sex. Taking the small minority of lost stormies as representative of the board is stupid. However, they're definitely majority hard (alt) right.

>>49418100
Cool. Why don't you head back there? Right now?

>>49418046
I jack off to Liveleak videos and I hate NTR.

It's just different fetishes. I completely get why people are into it, though. It's a very keen kind of masochism.

>>49418047
I like NTR but from the point of view of the guy doing the stealing.

>>49415535
>caring about people's genders or IRL appearance when roleplaying

You are literally the worst thing to ever happen in the history of things.

>>49418241
It's not about their gender or appearance, it's that they make a point of bringing it up and then lying about it.

>>49418288
Ah yes. But to be fair, if someone was obnoxious about being hot and ensured me he's a guy IRL, I'd also find it annoying. It's not a gender issue.

>>49418308
You know what, you've got a point. Nowadays I don't think it's actually that much more likely to be a guy pretending to be a hot girl; landwhales are pretty common too, and of course they pretend to be super hot. Especially in roleplay.

>>49418308
Precisely. Unless it comes up naturally in discussion, just assume that no-one gives a shit about who you are or what you look like.

>>49418325
>Especially in roleplay.
And playing a sexy sorceress is fine.

It's lying about themselves OOC that baffles and infuriates me.

>>49418349
No, I meant the incentive to bring that into the real world is especially great when you're also roleplaying as a super sexy dragon rider or whatever.

> My character is a tiefling.
> My character is a dragonborn

>>49417676
It might have been good for you but lets be frank 90% of the people that were playing V:tM where new formed weeabo edge lords.

>>49417952
>CondescendingTwilight.jpg

>>49417793
>t. cuck

>>49416048
Because they aren't degenerates.

>>49415535

One big red flag for me is misusing words in an attempt to sound intelligent.

>Using ensures instead of assures.

>>49415535
>Obvious weebs (After 4 or 5 games of someone trying to play anime character #5000 in the a western game you would be too)
>Gnome players (Look out it's the lolrandumb character)
>People who've been looking at potential character builds (How to spot a power gamer)
>People who's backstory is 5 pages long.
>People who insist on playing Asians.
>People who are obnoxiously X (X being gay, transexual, non-binary, asexual, special snowflake #5000)

>>49421520
>I am unable to handle people whose objectively wrong arbitrary aesthetic preferences are not like me and my objectively correct arbitrary aesthetic preferences

>>49416564
I think to end it that way you need to have had the new girlfriend cheat on him at some point and he took her back because he lacks self-confidence.

>>49422045
>I am unable to realize that most people who make these decisions are disruptive and make shit unrelated to them about them.

>>49416234
I think they mean Ensure, the crappy faux-diet-milkshake popular with the elderly.

>>49415974
Sounds pretty good. I would go with a reverse Pretty Woman. Hanging around a small group of well-educated nerds slowly encourages her to think more analytically. She starts at saving up her money and the Nerds tutor her so she can go back to college. By the end of the movie she has passed the bar exam and is a lawyer in a small firm owned by the father of one of the Nerds, a man she rejected back in high school for being too nerdy. Three of her players are pining for her comma but she helps them clean themselves up and attract girlfriends of their own. She finally ends up with a software engineer who did not play Dungeons & Dragons until he met her and she brought him into the group. The movie ends with a final rejection of her former life when she successfully prosecute her former pimp.

>>49418028
>Virtualoptim
Man that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

>NTR is purely a fantasy for people who want to hear/read/see someone get sad
So basically it's the final form of sadism?

>>49418174

This. NTR from the pov of the bull is awesome.

What triggers me are when people are fine with stuff like guro but shit asteroids whenever anyone mentions NTR.

>>49415535
>when you're playing online
Universal red flag.
avoid these people

>>49425246
>What triggers me are when people are fine with stuff like guro but shit asteroids whenever anyone mentions NTR.

Here's the thing about Guro, it's unrealistic. It's hilariously unrealistic it is like watching a pornographic version of happy tree friends. You cannot empathize with these characters because they burst like a balloon or blow apart in strands of meat and tubes. I don't find it sexually enticing but I do find it hilarious.

The very concept is NTR is somewhat unrealistic but it's something that more grounded in reality than say Planet Terror. The idea that you could be living your life and suddenly someone just comes along and not only fucks your girl but then both of them start mocking you for it, is something that actually happens. Most people that have read NTR know that the guy stealing the girl is not them why? Because you are never in the dude's perspective only the dude getting cucked, he appears maybe twice before the train wreck begins.

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>>49416395

>Dead whore
>Bad end

>>49425246
>>49425490
What does NTR stand for? I'm trying to figure it out based on context but genuinely have no clue.

>>49425586

Nigger tier romance.

>ensures

>>49425681
Hmmmmm

>>49416395
>>49416564
You know.... why not just have the nerd have a friend who also was in their group and secretly found the prostitute hot as fuck but was way too scared to actually ever make a move.
After the tearful separation the nerd finally tells his friend about the whole thing and the heartbroken prostitute.
They realize that the prostitute just wanted to be accepted in their circle and probably only said the "i love you" thing to not feel rejected by life yet again, and they try to contact her.
However, her phone is dead, and her apartment is empty.
Cue, a humorous but tense trip where the nerds go from hooker to hooker to try to figure out where that specific one is while hoping that they find her before she does something stupid.

In the end they manage to find her, and the nerd reinvites the prostitute, because he says that while he is unfortunately taken, there are other people who really want her around.

>10 months later:
Two weddings.

Add some elements from pretty woman, maybe some gender confusion, a couple of comic relief nerds and a couple of comic relief prostitutes, and you have yourself a perfect romcom.

>>49425586
Not Too Rough. It's that "handholding is too lewd" meme basically.

>>49425586
Netorare.

>>49416394
>'feminine' penises. Women have those qualities more often than not,
lol

>>49418103
>sprite
patrician taste dear icelanders

>>49425681
>>49426122
I have to say I didn't see it coming. Should have, but didn't. Well played.

>>49426125
Thank you helpful anon.

>>49416943
HAHAHAHA KEK

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>Hey guys, I'm going to run a game with a ton of politics and not just run another combat mashathon.
>Jk, it's another combat mashaton.

My friend's a cool guy, but fuck me he can only run one kind of campaign.

>>49417171
I can concede to that, if they make it a problem then it should be dealt with.

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>>49417832
Similar thing happened to me:
>empathizes on the character being a lonely virgin

Also
>fat deviant art tier girl rolls a chaotic character
alternatively
>chaotic character
>likes: blood and/or fire

>>49417171
>groom you as his personal eRP boislut
Bueno~

>>49427640
/tg/ stop giving me fantasies about roleplaying games.
I have enough as it is.

>>49417761
there is absolutely a learning curve between making the switch either way. players as gm give way to much power and GMs as players have to get used to the lack of control

>CofD

Ok we're going to be playing crossover

>>49416354

definition of "quality" I'm using here: a distinctive attribute or characteristic possessed by someone or something.

it's the genitals, son.

womens' genitals are of a different physical quality from man's genital. Pussy is not dick.

Other than that fuck if I know tho

>>49416382
>calls anon faggot
>states that men can be soft and smell nice
I smell projection

>>49415598

In an activity where the entirety of the game takes place through conversation, I feel like not wanting to be heard speaking to the other players does qualify as a little weird.

Like, maybe not a "red flag", but definitely atypical with regards to the hobby. Then again any online game should clearly indicate whether it's voice or chat anyway so as long as everybody properly segregates themselves it's whatevs.

>>49421289
I was thinking more SmugCelestia.png. Kinda forgot twi joined the supermutanthorse club.

>>49427640
Joks on you it already was an erp.

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>>49415691
Your rides over mutie, time to die!

>>49417059
In my next campaign, I'm playing a gnomish monk just to spite you.

>>49421280
Hey a on! Let's play v:tm
O-okay

Get some characters made. Okay whatever.

>literally two hours of the experienced players describing the exact minutiae of how they are casting a spell, setting up candles, chanting, etc.

Fuckong hell. Yeah.rp man but.... Your not actually doing magic, and you don't know how it actually works, just roll the shit.

>>49415598
>has shitheads

Yes, like the homos that want pictures of me.

>>49431576
>ok after a night of fighting vampires and etc, your gang of misfits goes to rest, what are your plans
>well we wanna do a sleepover with some movies to relax
>ok sure, you go do that, what next?
>what do you mean what next, we didn't roleplay it yet
>its downtime we can just summarise it
>nooo we want to RP it why do you hate character developmeeent
and then while they play it out in a corner, half the group twiddles thumbs for a bit, then asks GM for a small side adventure, which he provides
and then the sleepovergroup gets bitchy that we didn't wait for them to join it

>>49415598
The number of men willing to pretend to be women outnumber actual women on the internet so that it's more likely to a dog using bark to text than an honest to goodness woman.

>>49416903
But do you make a point of telling people you're a girl or are you just another anon?

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>>49421520
>people who's backstories are five pages long
"he is a cool swordsman with a dad and he rode in on a horse"
that short enough for you?
fuck off

>>49431810
>always gotta be the extremes, there is no middle ground

Did you actually have any characters in your playing history that you /needed/ them to have multipage backstory?

>>49415535
>Character introductions
>"Well, my character is a slut."
It was the very first thing they guy said. I didn't think this sort of thing actually happened in real life.

"I'm a feminist."

>>49415535
>DM tells you he makes quest threads
>player tells you that he follows quest threads

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>>49431873

>>49416354
>breasts
>vaginas
>lactate
>attract hetero males
>can give birth
>don't have a y chromosome

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>>49415712
>>49415974

>>49416374

I assure you anon there are plenty of women who are not soft and do not smell nice.

>>49416245
>I doubt it'd have any emotional impact on most of the viewers if it's a man rather than a woman.
Only if they lacked empathy.

>>49432090
You fucking cis shitlord

>one of the players likes japanimation

>>49432732
But anon, I like animation no matter where it comes from

>>49416006
This. NTR is heretic scum tier. Purge it with fire

>>49416071
>Used goods maymay
You are the same tier as NTR
What's next? Roasty /r9k/ meme?
End yourself.

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>using anime pictures in a western setting
>"i'm a furry"
>"i want to play a gnome illusionist"
that's that

>>49432909
How do you feel about
>using random photomodels for character face illustrations
?

>>49432239
Why can't he be naked if they're hookers? That guy just can't stop spending money

>>49432919
depends, if i'm running a modern, somewhat realistic, campaign i'm ok with it

>Want to play online

>>49417762
For fuck's sake, Anon. Helping someone build their character isn't "bitching". I swear, some of you faggots just read what you want to read.

And he complained -at length- about how his character was "useless" because of a poor decision he made, and I warned him about.

Though, in the end, it wasn't totally useless. But I only realized that after he had the character commit suicide -over perceived mechanical inequality- and rolled up a new one. I used a similar mechanic for a character I built later to increase her power in the first round of combat. It also worked great for roleplaying, because she was a cook who beat people with a giant wooden spoon.

But this is a "red flag" thread. Not a "That Guy" thread. Hence just mentioning the red flag, you oversensitive ninnies. It was a red flag for the behaviour that would follow. And someone insisting on making "roleplaying decisions" when they don't understand the mechanics is the sort of red flag that leads to them being dissatisfied with a character and wanting to replace it. Which is what happened.

I'm a paladin heal slut who only worships the brightest of gods and refuses all sexual encounters
played by an obese 22 year old white male
fite me nerds

>>49433000
>oversensitive ninnies
Bitch, that's yourself.

"red flag" of "one wrong taken feat" is bullshit. Doubly so as you go on to describe that the feat is actually useful.

>>49433024
Get yer darksouls memery outta here.

>>49432909
>Western setting
Which system ?

>>49433036
r00d

>>49433024
we don't have to fight you, life is fighting you hard enough

>>49433037
D&D with codex martialis and my own setting based on 15th century Europe

>>49432971
Grittyish supervillain game. And you get this http://rpol.net/gameinfo.php?action=viewdescription&gi=67787&ci=270510&date=

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>>49433092
what the fucking fuck this is not what i was expecting

>>49431721
It's not 1999 anymore. That's a bit outdated and hyperbolic.

>>49433105
Check the rest of the characters on "the cast" page too.

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>>49431277

>>49415701
I played with a prositute who was a female rights activist.

She played a really good barbarian

>>49416395
DELETE THIS

>>49416637
I think it's hilarious that you're the one who assumes he was calling you out as a basement dweller. Reread the post, he didn't say a damn thing implying that.

>>49433175
>female rights activist
>in the Anglosphere

lmbo

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>>49416395
Thats not schway dude. Thats not schway at all

>>49416395
>>Like this if u cry every time ;_:

>>49417676
You've told this story before I think.
You and I were waxing pleasantries about the 90s goth scene, vtm, and the constant flow of hot, kinky sex that came for guys who could describe the ecstasy of the Kiss in dulcet tones while shamelessly eyefucking the girl in front of a group of people (that sometimes including her boyfriend, that led to a pretty baller threesome).

Male players playing beautiful female characters. Playing female characters in and of itself isn't a red flag, but I've almost never had a positive experience with someone who described the character as beautiful, much less invested points, feats, or other resources in making her beautiful.

>>49417191
You know, I once suffered from these prejudices. As (almost) forever GM, I know I lot of lore. After having read through that book of the Drow, I decided to make a Priestess of Lolth character (Trickery Cleric domain grants Polymorph. Non-Trickery gods step aside). At one point, my character is left alone with a bunch of nobody drug addled unconsious people (several of which are surface elves). Naturally, I slit their throats. My character wasn't a murderhobo; she doesn't risk the social consequences of murder, even for Lolth, if it isn't extremely safe or there's a very important reason. Lolth wants to eventually kill all the surface elves (which is nowhere near enough of a reason alone) & these are offered up on a silver platter (no witnesses, no family). The DM subtracts XP from me, thinking my mindset was "lol, I'll kill these creatures to harvest their XP juice!" I didn't even want or expect XP from them; I was just trying to be a good Cleric. I used my ceremonial dagger and burned some incense and everything. I left the non-elf unconscious people untouched. I did eventually convince the DM to undo the docked XP (he even gave me a tiny sum of roleplay XP)

But to go full Kamiyama, perhaps it is your perceptions and expectations that make forever GMs bad players and forever players bad GMs. You expect players to act a certain way, so it is fine when they do. If someone that you ackowledge in your mind as a GM acts that way, however, it stands out much more. The forever player and forever GM could be doing the same murderhoboing, but it looks like the forever GM that finally got to have a character is doing something far worse than the player you are expecting that of.

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>>49433092
>>49433139

>was expecting a train wreck
>4 characters with just the basics posted.
>an antiestablishment terrorist that can turn into a giant frog. While cringe, with a little work it could be an okay character. 5/10
>hot Asian giantess is the best written character out of that group. Needs some work, but a solid 7/10

Seriously, who doesn't want to play a giant Kim Kardashian?

>>49433854
Somebody who keeps their magical realm to a dedicated erp game?

>>49433854
Aand also you may notice that the giantess has absolute zero information on how or why she's a villain. Bitch doesn't even have a secret identity.

>>49433854
>an antiestablishment terrorist that can turn into a giant frog

The rarest pepe

>>49431820
Depends on your idea of multipage.
Yes, I could have shortened the backstory, but it cheapens the fact that his purpose (in this game) is a redemption story, and it informs a lot of his decisions being made during the game, especially the ones that do not make sense in a vacuum.

>>49433891
Dude, half the characters didn't even have information. Seriously, vaguely African character with "various spider themed powers". At least the player put forth effort.

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>>49426395
>says the virgin
Look, dawg, a girl telling you that you are the best lay/made her cum the hardest the most times she's ever had is a fucking ego boost.
>mfw every girl I have slept with has told me I'm the best lover they have ever had, due to a combination of genetic lottery and singleminded passion for my partner
>hey virgins, the more she thinks you are all about her and only her, the more she will enjoy herself
>she wants to feel important

>>49417059
Anon, you are the red flag

>>49433956
>mfw every girl I have slept with has told me I'm the best lover they have ever had, due to a combination of genetic lottery and singleminded passion for my partner

because no woman has ever lied in the bedroom

>>49434108
I say this to every men I've slept with.

>>49433956
The girl I lost virginity to said she was feeling it much more intense than usual. Doesn't take a genius to realize why: it was a long distance relationship and we finally met and fucked each other brains out for a week.

Otherwise yeah, an ego boost. You can enjoy it, but seriously falling for it is a bad idea.

>>49433283
I live in Kenya asshat

>>49415535
>female player puts serious emphasis on her characters gender and sexuality
>double if the character is female
Now i know what it sounds like but i have NEVER had this go well and i'm just curious if anyones had this same issue and knows how to stop it.
Shits fine if they just mention the gender but when they seem to get excited about their characters gender and sexual leanings its always crashed and burned with the group usually taking casualties and i want it to stop.

There are no girls on the internet. Anyone who claims to be one is either a liar or such a vapid waste of personality that she cannot function without her 'girl advantage'. If she wants her girl advantage, the price should be high. Such as video chat.

>>49433927
Wasn't that a character from that old Static Shock cartoon?

>>49433105
rpol's superhero games are wretched hive of magical realming.

>see a long running slice of life supers highschool game
>the list of game rules has THREE consequentially added rulings/reminders attempting to prevent use of mindcontrol powers as a date drug

>>49433854
The frost girl seems worked out just fine, and /without/ using a deviantart fetish shoop.

>>49433927
Sure, he put forth effort, but it was effort on something terrible. That should be even worse than not trying at all.

>>49417034
If this world can produce a really fast guy named Bolt, then it could also produce a really quiet guy named Mute... just as I am sure OP's name is Faggot.

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>>49418046
Ok, no. Die in a fire.

>>49425246
Nah, it's still just as disgusting :^)

>>49418174
>>49425246
Netori is GOAT, but I can understand why people hate it. It reminds them of that one/all the women who cheated on them and I doubt I could enjoy it if I had that happen to me.

>DM tells us he's running an evil party in parallel to us
>After a week he cant hold back
>Other tean's witch has the phrase "she has heterochronatic eyes, the only hetero thing about her" in her bio

I dont think you need anything else to know what the problem is.

>>49416794

I feel like anon was trying to make a humerous point that feminism acts the same way. It fell flat though.

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>GM bans the only 3.5 splatbook that makes martial's fun to play because its "too much like 4e"

None of us ever even played 4e why the fuck?

>>49416354

The right to bodily autonomy
Custody of kids, in 85 percent of cases
A near monopoly on homeless shelters
More choices for clothing
Emotions

>>49425574
>being this edgy
>>>/r9k/

>>49439255
t. whore

>>49431576
>My character beings to prepare his blood magic
>However realizing that he only brought one change of clothes, he strips
>My character also decides to eat some human food, since that's one of his preparations
>Only have a can of ravioli
>Party bursts into my room, enemy in hot pursuit
>I'm in the middle of a large sigil, naked, covered in blood, and eating ravioli

>>49438668

4e is less a game and more 3.5/PF-speak for "you can do things without magic besides kill something that is standing right next to you and that scares and confuses me."

>>49440801
I'm not a huge fan of 4E for the simple fact that I felt it limited my out of combat freedom a bit. Maybe it was just the DM, but I felt like my Rogue couldn't be anything but a stabby guy.

>>49415535
>looks overtly for instant red flags
GTFO

>>49416266
There's a reason 90% of my favorite characters are men. I identify with them better.

>>49416400
That's because you're a fucking autist who doesn't understand how people talk. OF COURSE THERE'S EXCEPTIONS you fucking bleachsnorting moron. BUT BY AND LARGE. 98% OF THE TIME. HENCE THE GENERALIZATION BEING..GENERAL.

>>49431810
>>49431820
>>49433923
OP here 90% of the people I've interacted with that have 5 page backstories are the same people who pull an Old Man Harrison and pull a royal connection, or a resource out of fucking nowhere. If there's something of relevance to your roleplaying then whatever I don't actually care but again 90% of the time they just use it to kill a tense and dramatic moment.

>>49443684
It's because you're a faggot.

>>49433923

You can get that out in 3-4 paragraphs. All you need is what he did, why he did it, and why he changed his mind. If that's taking you multiple pages, you've probably got a lot of filler.

>>49421520
>Obvious weebs (After 4 or 5 games of someone trying to play anime character #5000 in the a western game you would be too)
Agreed, as long as it doesn't fit the theme.

> >Gnome players (Look out it's the lolrandumb character)
Illusionists and Rogues are fine. Barbarian is a red flag.

> People who've been looking at potential character builds (How to spot a power gamer)
I'm fine with that, especially if it's a game without meta-resource like Force Points, Edge, Willpower, etc. If I DM a game like FFG's SW or World of Darkness, I tend to agree.

> People who's backstory is 5 pages long.
I agree, especially if it was built without a conversation with the DM. I found you often adapt a character's personality to the situation, to the group. You're better off doing a Trail-By-Fire quest where backgrounds are abstract and THEN make backgrounds.

> People who insist on playing Asians.
In Shadowrun, and on most Sci-Fi settings it's perfectly fine. In D&D I would agree. Assuming the plural is required.

> People who are obnoxiously X (X being gay, transexual, non-binary, asexual, special snowflake #5000)
I'd cut that to "obnoxious". I don't tolerate other types of obnoxious persons.

Meanwhile, my own favorites:

> People who make dire tactical errors and then criticize you on something that's more like a personal preference.

> DMs who handle an artefact while players are still level 2.

> DMs who are so dependent on their rails that they spring bullshit deux ex machina like "Well, the wall has a layer of adamantium.

> DM that makes their game feel like a featureless plain, compared to railroading.

> Players that make shit characters and hide behind "but that's what my character would do!".

>>49445014
> Trail-by-fire
Trial-by-fire.

Also, the concept of Kender is cancer.

>>49445039
>tfw can never play a kender because my group fell for the meme
>tfw I will never be able to play a kender spellthief

>>49445014
OP here. I'm a generally flexible GM, I'm cool with whatever people want to bring to the table as long as we talk it out and see how it fits into the game world. Mostly my issue comes in with people who come in and try to make the game about them (and hide it behind their character)

>>49445121
>I promise I only meant to borrow that spell! I'll give it right back, I swear!

>tfw party wizard can't even cast Finger of Death on the little fuck because he stole it

>>49416390
>this is what misogynerds actually believe

>>49416903
Do you feel the need to tell people you're "super hot" though?

>>49446218
>misogynerds
le cringe

>inb4 mansplaining
>>>/plebbit/ is this way, faggot

>>49446231
not him/her. it's fucking bait, man. this isn't even worth discussing.

>>49433956
Dude, every girl says that to every guy she's fucking. The only compliment from girls that I actually believe is when they tell me they loved being choked because nearly every other guy I know can't stand hurting women even if it's what she wants.

>>49433956

>I put 0 ranks in Sense Motive: The Post

Srsly guys, beliving someone else when they talk about your sexual performance is nearly always a bad idea. If it's been good, it's been good. If it's been bad, you probably already know it. If it's been exceptional, neither of you will need to say it

>>49432909

>"I want to play a gnome illusionist"

I'm sure there's a joke here that i'm not getting.

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>>49433956
Prime. Fucking. Kek. My fiancée was a virgin, before me, because we started dating when we were 14. There's absolutely nothing better than taking a sweet, tender girl and fucking her into your dick-crazy sweetheart who only wants for you and your dick, alone.

But seriously man, I hope you're having a great time with your girl, you're practically her David Randolph Scott! Oh what, nobody's fucking heard of David Randolph Scott? Come on, he's the seventh guy to step foot on the moon! A real American hero!

You have fun being Scott- being the seventh guy to do something great is no little feat! I'm just going to enjoy being Neil Armstrong to her moon-cunt.

Anyway, as for red-flags, I can't stand it when anybody has something like 'Cold-hearted' or 'Is a mean bitch' or something to that tune in their character bio. Why force friction by being a turbo-cunt?

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>>49447210

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Pic related

>>49415691
Role player detected

>>49438668

Whoch splat book? Youre not talking about the weeaboo book of fittan magic are you?

>I'm going to GM this system I have no idea how it works, we start tomorrow
I'm not saying this can't work right, but I never seen it work right usually it boils down to:
>GM comes up with made up rules on the fly that fuck up the game
>These rules keep changing and changing so Players can't grasp how the universe works
>GMPCs for when the GM fucks up with level threats
>Retcons for when the GM fucks up to much

If you're going to GM, take the fucking time to learn the system before, when the players know more about the system than the GM, and the GM doesn't listen to them, there's something wrong going on

>>49447210
I dunno, I'd definitely be David Randolph Scott if it means getting to walk on the moon.

>>49447210
Prime. Fucking. Kek. My fiancé was a virgin, before me, because we started dating when we were 14. There's absolutely nothing better than taking a sweet, tender boy and fucking him into your cunt-crazy sweetheart who only wants for you and your cunt, alone.

But seriously man, I hope you're having a great time with your boy, you're practically his David Randolph Scott! Oh what, nobody's fucking heard of David Randolph Scott? Come on, he's the seventh guy to step foot on the moon! A real American hero!

You have fun being Scott- being the seventh Girl to do something great is no little feat! I'm just going to enjoy being Neil Armstrong to his moon-dick.

>>49416245
ShindoL is a sick fuck, but every once in a while, he makes something incomparably sweet.

>>49415817
Did they throw away their shot?

>>49416390
> The woman is the guardian of the home
> woman is the guardian
> woman guardian
I'm sure the "Mario, save me!!!" trope came from women's performance at protecting stuff.

>>49448216
> Status: normal
> Status: meh
> Status: MIA
> Status: MIA
> Status: MIA
> Status: MIA

I don't care for restrictions. Actually I like them, and in most RPGs, humans are flexible enough to make any class work. Forcing female players to play male adventurers is weird tho, especially in a world where magic is everywhere.

I might participate in the lvl 5 D&D 3.5 game, if only to see the train wreck, as a tier 1 character, possibly a LE or LN cleric of Wee Jas.

>>49449178
You know you can't beat a boy's hand to that feat.

>>49450054

What, and you think little girls don't stick things in that weird hole on their body just to see what happens?

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>steampunk setting

>>49417676
>Yes, this was the 90's. You kids have no fucking idea what you missed.

JDIMSA

>>49447210
>Neil Armstrong to her moon-cunt
Brilliant.

>>49415691
Ha Ha you cant talk like humans can!

>>49447210
Honey? You are not Sokka, and girlfriend isn't the moon.

An adult wants to play a teenager or a child.

Yes I know there are games like Monsters and Other Childish things exist, and I'm sure there are outliers that exist that roleplay this well, but in my own experience? People use it as an excuse to play supper annoying characters that are either cringingly quirky, chaotic randumb, or living out some fantasy that helps fill in some sort of unfulfilled need they had when they were that age.

I want nothing to do with it. It's either obnoxious or too sad.

There's at least one whom I suspect may have done it for fetish reasons, but I hope not. I'd like to think that they're not that sort of person, even if I don't play with them anymore.

>>49440948

To be fair, that's still better than a 3.X rogue who was basically dead weight.

Besides, D&D is a game that's all about combat, that's why more than 1/3 of the PHB is dedicated to combat and another 1/3 are dedicated to spells.

>>49416245
What's she crying about? Do I want to know?

>>49453564
find out yerself https://nhentai.net/g/166048/

>>49417301
It can, but in that case, there is no need to prove any of that.

>>49415691
Prove it. Post a vocaroo of yourself trying to groan out some words or some shit

>>49443804
>>49444003
Mine are usually 1-3 pages, and the one I'm thinking about in particular was basically a vehicle for plothooks and ways for the DM to involve me if he desired to (which I think should be the point of a backstory).
Sure, I could fit in 3-4 paragraphs about how he was the loser firstborn of the family, abdicated his position to his cousin, got married to a 10/10, settled down, family enemies came and killed his wife, maimed him, 10/10's father cursed him literally, divine intervention gave him a second chance to do right, went looking for cousin to reclaim his birthright.
But that isn't nearly as fun to read or write, y'know? If I write something, it should at least be entertaining or engaging.

>>49449449
She, anon.
Don't make me get the picture.

>>49456321
The what?

File: Marty-Feldman-1-.jpg (81KB, 529x559px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 529x559px

>>49417059
>>any player who doesn't want to use a core race or core class
>>any player playing a gnome
>>any player playing a monk

But gnomes and monks are both core.

>>49426131
technically, a feminine penis would be a clitoris.

>>49456281
That's fine. I'm cool with that actually that extra effort is a hell of a lot more effort than most of my players put in so good on you.

>>49456281
Some people just like to write.