/heem/: cub swanson edition

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my boy

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Mad cuz ur moms a fan?

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Great episode

Zane Simon

>>75400806
just rewatched this, Choi did better than I remember, I thought he got fucked up for ten minutes straight when I watched live but Cub's moments of offense are shorter than I thought.

he still got destroyed, but I'm not worried for his career anymore.

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>pick a "welterweight" weighing 196 pounds onto your team with a possibility he could fight in a few days

what did cody mean by this?

>>75400860
*grabs you by the throat*

>>75400821
*blatantly apes your style*
*talks shit in a nasal tone*
*drops mic*

I love you

For me, its tiramisu

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champ

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>>75400901
Ur moms a fan?

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>>75400902

Is Mousasi the only natty MW?

>Michael Bisroid
>Jacaroid Souza
>Yoel Roidmero
>Luke Roidhold
>Chris Roidman
>Roidbert Whittaker

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Faster response than the coppers.

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>>75400961

>>75400961
>30 seconds
lol what'd I tell ya, literally here all the time.

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Swanson vs Lobov
Iaquinta vs Sanchez
Saint Preux vs Rogério de Lima
Dodson vs Wineland
Lauzon vs Ray
Perry vs Ellenberger

this is literally a scat spammer thread. he names his files like that

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Our boy Jwill coming for that belt

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>>75400975
>literally here all the time.
even when he was banned for 7 days he was here lurking like an autist

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>Manuwa
>Mousasi
>Masvidal
>McGregor

lads, why are all the best strikers M or part-M?

>>75401023
i bet that fat dude is really good at 2d fighting games

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>>75401030
Why shouldn't I lurk when banned? I don't understand the logic of walking away just because you can't post.

>>75401021
Yup twisted in the head innit?

>>75401021
Yup. Was wondering why I had the OP filtered.

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>>75401021
>scat spammer thread confirmed
>Coral Springs presence confirmed
very suspicious

>>75401003
Guess how many of those are mine?

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>>75401082

Who is everyone's favorite woman on the UFC roster?

>>75401021
Why does he do it?

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>>75401102
Megan Olivi

We /BIG PRETTY/ now

https://youtu.be/j4NyPProz34
https://youtu.be/j4NyPProz34
https://youtu.be/j4NyPProz34

>>75401102
Cynthia Calvillo is mine, by the way.

>>75400821
>>75400918
>trying this hard to be McGregor

Moose will fuck up shittaker

>>75400943
sam alvey

>>75401090
14

>>75400821
*gets kicked out of gym*

>>75401030
makes one think doesnt it

>>75401144
Nah literally zero. This guy will take picks up until the main card starts lol.

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>>75401003
Swanson
Iaquinta
OSP
Dodson
Ray
Perry

>>75401164
nice doggo

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fuck is up with this niggas hairline

guys are u ready for goat card after this one? i hope noone pussies out of the fight

>>75401003
All me

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SHIELDS BTFO

>>75401181
Thanks!

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>the year is 2035
>alarm goes off
>get up out of my cot too quickly and hit my head on the roof of my cuck shed
>time for breakfast, but realize I've run out of government mandated Starbucks® Unicorn Flavored All Natural** Carbon Based Cereal Substitute®
>punch in my 35 digit pin and answer five security questions to open the door so I can grab some food from my wife's state regulated alimony mansion
>quickly cross the woods and avoid the dogs to get to the mansion
>input the 44 digit door code but forget the 8th security question
>luckily one of her friends Jamarcus is leaving to get to court so he lets me in for $20 (what a deal!)
>make it to the fourth floor kitchen after nodding respectfully to the Elizabeth Warren statue by the elevator
>pass the retinal scan and wait in line with rest of my wife's boyfriends
>notice a few of her sons are watching Entertainment Csar Rachel Maddow do an insider report on UFC (Unified Female Championships)
>they're talking about their favorite fighters and Deontreaus says that Julianna Pena is the GOAT
>despite the lashing I'll get from my wife's boyfriend, I chime in and say that she's no Conor McGregor
>they start laughing
>McGregor? Carl, he never even defended his belt
>mfw

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>>75401216
bleeeeeown the fuck out

what's it like being mexican?

>>75401216
>with my bare heads
What did Conor's bag carrier mean by this?

>>75401216
>>75401236
>Blow your head off with my bare hands
>Its a grappling match

REALLY REALLY activated my almonds

>>75401255
>>75401257
Ur moms a fan?

>>75401227
got a chuckle, here's a (You)

how much do you think manletweights lift

>>75401270
Thanks it took me a lot longer than I expectateted

DJ is a white belt who outgrappled Tim Elliot and Wilson Reis.

If you don't think he's p4p #1 you're pretty much an idiot.

>>75401216
>Twat

Do americans use that word?

>>75401289
>Tim Elliot
what?
>Wilson Reis
who?

>>75401302
No, he has been spending a lot of time with Conor.

>>75401313
Exactly

>>75401314
One day he will be like Gunnie and speak with a Dublin accent

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they're still trying to hype this gatekeeping gook?

fuck out of here. yeah, i want to read a fucking book by and/or about MICHELLE WATERSON the karate HOTTIE fuck off Dana

>>75401302
He is an honorary Irishman

>>75401276
deadlift as much as i fucking bench probably
i could toss DJ out my window and take his fucking belt just let me cover my junk with a towel when we make weight. hold it very taught.

>>75401358
Calm down

>>75401358
relax goofball

>>75401383
lmao i would heem you, lil twerp

>>75401383
>hold it very taught

*taut

>>75401395
>>75401399
Relax? they're the ones clogging my e-mail with this shit. surely they've datamined me enough to know i'd rather get ten facts about artem e-mail instead..
>>75401403
nah kid, you wouldn't. fuck off. i've got work to do

>>75401425
I said calm down

>>75401425
relax

>>75401413
thanks, i'll probably remember that now for the rest of my life, no joke

>>75401425
>nah kid, you wouldn't. fuck off. i've got work to do

you better run, scared ass bitch, you dont want none

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Which fighter has pissed you off the most for missing weight?

>>75401428
>>75401433
typical amerilard hivemind humor
bellends

>>75401442
Khableeb

>>75401448
I said calm down

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>>75401448
lol relax bud, its not serious

>>75401227
Kek

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>>75401442
cuckbib, I'm still triggered to this day.

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>>75401442
pic related without question

>>75401461
>>75401482
>>75401487
He never weighed in so he technically didn't miss it.

>>75401523
he missed before that lol

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>>75401003
Cub
Al
Rogério
John
Stevie
Mike

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>>75401003
Lobov
Iaquinta
Saint Preux
Dodson
Lauzon
Perry

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Speaking of Khabib missing weight, I was talking to myself the other month and came up with this theory:

>Khabib fucks up again, leaving Ferg out of a fight
>Instead of punishing Khabib and getting Conor vs Ferg set up for later in the year they reschedule the fight for like the fourth time
>Why? because they want khabib to win and have him matched with Conor
>Khabib would do big numbers, he's a big name for a non champion
>However they obviously know he would definitely pull out/miss weight
>In the likely even that this happens:
>Dana "look we looked for replacements and the first guy to come calling was Nate Diaz"
>boom. the only bigger draw that khabib at LW and they have a reason to make the third fight without too much questioning
>$$$
+
>Conor doesn't defend belts, if they get him to fight again, they want to make the most if not before he leaves then while he is still on top of the world

they could even poison khabibs food to make sure of it
and there would probably be a lot of khabib fans who already bought/buy the PPV anyway

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>>75401523

>>75401569
u mad kid?

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>>75401442
its a still my boy/was never my boy relationship.

>>75401566
i want to shove my dick in her big mouth and poke her cheeks around and across her stupid lips

Where did all the wonderboi fans go?

5k on ARTEM EZ MONEY

>>75401594
they are now Maia/Masvidal fans

>n-next one

>>75401594
>d
well wonderboy got robbed in both fights

not much we can say

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>>75401623
>well wonderboy got robbed in both fights

Schaub would destroy every fighter on this weekends card.

>>75401594
>m-maia
>m-masvidal
so SHOOK by the ww GOAT they can't make up their minds

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>>75401623
>wonderboy won the popular vote!!
for sure he was scoring with those teeps and landing some crisp octagon control my guy

Even Schaub agrees Woodley won both fights.

That's all you need to know.....

>>75401673
What is a teep?

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>>75401694
to keep distance

>>75401707

do you have any larger pictures?

fighters you find impossible to like?

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>>75401717

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HOLY SHIT TWOOD AND WONDERWOMAN HAD A FIGHT BEFORE AND YOU GUYS NEVER TOLD ME!

>>75401731
Tyron Woodley

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Is this organization worth watching?

Can Sage's sister dominate in the UFC?

>>75401732
this pic makes conor looks like he has artem arms

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>>75401743
they mad

>>75401731
Any white fighter except Stipe.

>>75401731
all of them except the ones who act like cocky dickheads to be honest

>>75401732
is that scored as a kick?

Bellator should be pretty decent tonight.

Strauss/Pitbull always bring it.

>>75401780
I don't watch Bellator. Does anyone here unironically enjoy it?

>>75401811
Yes I enjoy it. The walk-outs are cools and I like Chael on commentary recently. There are a lot of finishes.

>>75401780
>>75401780
I made the mistake of watching an entire Bellator event once.

I'll stick to only the main events. Even WSOF is better.

>>75401774
yeah?

>>75401623
>get dropped 6 times
>i-i-i was robbed

Do you like Vodka?

>>75401855
So why the distinction between a kick and a "teep?"

>>75401883
teep is just the muay thai name for a front kick. Nothing is scored as a "teep". It's just a kick.

Sam Alvey is so sad begging joe to get on his podcast. Literally nobody gaf

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>>75401923
I'm pissed Joe still hasn't invited overheem

YO am i the only one really fucking hyped for this weekends card? It's actually pretty stacked in my opinion.

>>75401780
>Strauss/Pitbull 4
>4
smellator pls

>>75401949
No, I am extremely hyped too. Straus/Pitbull 4 is going to be spicy af

Two hot prospects on the Bellator prelims tonight

Ed Ruth and Tyrell Fortune. 3 time NCAA Div 1 wrestling champion and NCAA Div 2 wrestling champion respectively.

>>75401949
It has a lot of meme fighters, not stacked par say

>>75401883
teep is a type of kick dude, I dont understand your confusion here

>>75401969
Well.. isn't that what we're all about?

>>75401883
Teep is a push kick you use with your foot like a spear

>>75401968
what is the major difference between Div 1 and Div 2?

>>75401968
>Needing a video game to fantasize about something that won't happen

kek

>replying to the wrong comment

dumb negros haha

>>75401976

D1 are like top colleges and D2 colleges iare where your nan dropped out

>>75401968
whoops. Wrong person. sorry famalam. Gonna go commit suicide now.

>>75401968
ed ruth has 2 wins so far with 1st round ko's. Tonight's bellator card is actually pretty good but casuals will still say it's shit.

>>75401972
in the real fight conor wouldnt even need to do anything after that left connected

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how long does cub last lads?

>>75402013
>name is arm lob off
what are the odds?

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schaub on my knob or blood on my gi, the choice is yours.

heh nothin personel kiddo

>>75402013
Until Artem decides

>>75401976
D1 attracts better athletes for wrestling, basically. However wrestling is kind of shit on in the US, so you can be pretty damn good if wrestle outside of D1 to some degree.

which fighters are the product of good timing?

>>75402087
Chris Weidman

>>75402065
Fixed fight

https://twitter.com/ufc/status/855513116511281157/video/1

>danielle taylor

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>>75402171
>The way he knocks his head into position

>>75402095
bisping and weidman.

>>75402189
she could be pretty good if she gets more aggressive. Pretty good power for her size.

were the weigh ins not streamed?

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>>75402204

>heem wants Conor to lose
>box wants Conor to lose
>asp wasnts Conor to lose

KEKETTY KEK

>>75402232
>heem wants Conor to lose
t. idiot

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>>75402224
Literally shorter than female strawweights

4 bongs until Lellator

Nothing happens in 4 bongs

>>75402257
casual

EVERYTHING happens in 4 bongs

imagine saying "bongs" instead of hours lol

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>>75402238
We do

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Did someone say Lellator?

if perry loses im selling the farm

if strauss loses im selling the farm

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>>75402269
what are hours?

>>75402273
kek

Those bottles look huge next to him.

if Artem loses its business as usual

If Al loses we go to /asp/

Kevin Lee

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>Current event schedule goes up to June 17th
>There isn't a single half decent card
I'm not sure if I can follow this shit anymore.

Curtis Blaydes

>>75402354
There is a decent card tomorrow casual

@75402354
Weak bait

>>75402291
straus will lose tonight my friend, bet the farm on it.

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>There isn't a single half decent card
But there is one tonight live and free on Spike TV at 9pm est......

ONE..TWO..THREE.. TEN..DRINKS TONIGHT

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>>75402367
>Manlet wars
>Decent
When will you learn?

>>75402375
also playing at dave and busters

Is it acceptable to take a date to Dave and Busters?

If Artem wins tomorrow I'm done with this """"sport""""

>Japanese """men"""
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K7CIE7kmmU

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>>75402404
Absolutely! In fact, Dave & Busters is primarily for adults.

They ALWAYS have the fights on big screens too!

Oluwale Bamgbose

>>75402377
I'M NOT GONNA LIE

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>>75402448
WHEN THAT FUCKING GUY WALKS IN HE....

>>75402419
in his defense Rena is great. Still a pussy though.

Imagine imagining something because someone told you to imagine.

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Who do you guys have in this featured featherweight showdown?

Two up and comers in MMA that show flashes of unlimited potential!

>>75402460
Ugh DICK

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>>75402491
Wow really made me imagine, can't imagine not imagining what you imagined before you made that post

>>75402466
>Rena is great
>great

>>75402495
is this not a squash match for mckee?

>>75402504
Mazzotta is 12-1

His only loss is to Cody Garbrandt

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My bets

Rate

>>75402526
Not gonna put a cheeky fiver on Mazzotta tonight in Bellator?

>>75402504
His opponent is legit talented, but undersized for 145.

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>tfw you think about all the /heem/bros we lost along the way

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>>75402541
I miss Estoniabro and the Czechbro that eats ass

>>75402541
RIP based nephew

may he one day return and grace us with a new pic

>>75402058
nice, high level opponent for a debut

>>75402533
Whys he such a huge underdog?

>“I fought Anderson Silva. At the end of the third round, my mouthpiece came out, he dives up in the air, knees me in the face, opens stitches all over my face — I needed about 20 stitches in my face — I’m on the floor. As he kneed me, the buzzer went. Did I roll around on the floor going ‘mummy, mummy, please help.’ No! I got up, wiped the blood off my face, stuck my mouthpiece in, took a breath, had a sip of water, then went back out and fought. I didn’t roll around like a little bitch on the floor hoping that the commission would give me a win by default. That’s what he did!

Based bisping, weedman btfo

>>75402541
>tfw you realise MMA is circling the drain
It never even reached its prime.

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>>75402541
spainsperg will be back soon bro

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Conor made all the /heem/ meems into a shirt, lads.

>>75402572
How about Bisping complaining to ref about "illegal" blows in rockhold fight?
>>75402582
He's on a 3 day medical suspension, we'll see how the commission feels about his return

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>>75402572

>>75402582
how long did he get heemed for?

>>75402541
RIP based rorysperg

>>75402582
idk dude i heemed him pretty badly LOL

Does anyone in this general train in any martial arts or are you a bunch of pro memesters? Wrestling/Judo/BJJ here. Tore my labrum at the end of my season and I get surgery in a few weeks. Shit sucks.

>>75402460
Bisping is the worst champ in history next to McGregor, but this moment was still worth it.

>>75402572
How are they even comparable?

>>75402723
If you want to discuss actual martial arts with people who practice there's a general on /asp/ called /mmag/

Good luck wading through all the mandrama filth though

>>75402572
It's not even the same scenario. Why won't he just fight Romero already?

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>>75402572
BispGOAT rocks!

Fuck that bald amateur

Why is joe the underdog?
He most likely wins

>>75402526
1/3

>>75402224
literally woodley thompson: sw edition

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>in less than 2 days PLATINUM MIKE PERRY is gonna be a top 15 ranked welterweight

1st steps to greatness

>>75402873
IF you didn't think Woodley/Thompson II was great you're a literal casual.

How comes Tyron fans are all handsome, socially well adjusted, popular, tall and educated while wonderboy fans were all /pol/ posting, autistic, racist, small, sumb, ugly and lonely losers?

/NGANNOU/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BS6NZuKg9dl/

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>>75402310
he's still with her? top fucking cuck m8

>>75402893
My boy looking good hitting the pads.

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>>75402893
based francis.

if he isn't your boy then gtfo my heem

>>75402752
There's only five people there who I could talk to, and the rest of the people in the general are literal autists or man drama cucks. All of the martial artists left 4chan I guess.

>>75402883
>great

gtfo of here. even people directly involved in the UFC, employees and fighters alike, thought that fight was subpar

they understand why it went down they way it went down but doesnt make that snoozefest any more exciting.

stop acting like a pretentious cunt and realize youre just regurgitating joe rogan's view on the fight.

>>75402950
You just didn't understand what you were seeing dummy.

Do you even train?

>>75402939
>>75402893
>>75402914
Our boy is and always will be Big Pretty Jwill

>>75402939
There are so many good boys at HW to choose from
>JDS
>Stiopic
>REEM
>Ngannou
>Black Beass
>Werdum
>Arlovski

>>75402943
I used to post there but it's gotten really slow so I don't bother. spergop should put it in the OP.

>>75402976
Arlovski is out of boy contention

http://ufc.usada.org/francisco-mir-receives-doping-sanction/
>Francisco

Reminder Schaub would be champ in the USADA era.

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>>75402950
desu I enjoyed it live because it was tense and woodley's my boy. I'll never rewatch that shit though.

>>75403014
>2 years
welp

rest in peace mir

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>>75403014
>Reminder Schaub would be champ in the USADA era.
Exactly. Thank Schaub people are starting to believe me now.

>>75403014
> Schaub would be champ in the USADA era.
No he wouldnt he has a glass chin, awkward footwork, awful striking, no heart, and bad decision making.

>>75402939
wow their fists are surprisingly similar in size, no wonder Diakiese one-punched that Finish fuckboy

>>75402893
I wanna see Ngannou throw some teeps, he could probably launch people like a fucking superhero movie

>>75403070
Go watch his fight against Gonzaga and get back to me.

>>75403080
Go watch his fight against Roy Nelson and get back to me

>>75400852
I watched that fight over again. I actually thought he did worse then i remembered. Now i see how he lost every round. My boy is like 2 years away from being an animal

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>>75403091
>his first UFC fight should be the defining moment of his career and athletic ability

>>75403014
Schaub would never beat Reem, Stipe or JDS.

>>75403147
Go watch his fights against Big Nog, Ben Rothwell, Travis Browne and get back to me loser.

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>>75403148
He would sub all 3 of them. Overeem has looked nothing special since he entered the UFC drug testing pool. JDS had his eggs scrambled twice by Cain. Stipe will get dragged into deep waters and gassed by Schaubs wall and stall.

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>>75403163
None of those men have done anything since USADA stepped into the picture. Rothwell even got flagged LMAO.

Some of you faggots are just screaming for a heeming. Be grateful that we don't have screens we can reach through yet.

>>75403171
Neither has Shob who got retired by Travis Browne of all people.

>>75403165
If JDS had his eggs scrambled then Swobitty Swob had his eggs thrown out form 10th floor window and then driven over by a steamroller

>>75403173
How about I punch you in the fucking gabber?

>>75403165
He couldn't drag Stipe into deep waters or survive him if he did.

>>75402981
>spergop should put it in the OP.
I like that suggestion.

Swangin and bangin
H-town on that boy

>>75403165
>overeem has looked nothing special

Wut? He's been KO-ing everyone and only lost an extremely close fight against Stipe

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>>75403173
You could reach for DEEZ NUTZ if such was the case

>>75403165
>Stipe will get dragged into deep waters
My sides I really do admire your commitment to this gimmick.

I still remember that post you made about wanting to become a personality on this general ;)

>>75402087
Dancin Andy had impeccable timing

Does JDS beat Stipe again?
I rewatched the Rothwell fight yesterday, JDS looked like an absolute murderer in it, super accurate and very good speed and footwork

Granted Stipe is a harder target than Big Ben but I think if that JDS shows up he may reclaim the belt

>>75403275
I question the state of his chin.

>>75401003
Swanson
Al
de Lima
Dodson
Ray
Ellenberger

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>>75403190
Travis Browne on juice > Shit > Travis Browne that married Hogda

>>75403194
Schaub's loss to Travis and Big Nog were nothing compared to the punishment Cain gave to JDS. That was brutal and should've been stopped by his corner.

>>75403226
You're overreaching bro. The post was a joke about Canadian OP. I have been a fan of Schaub since TUF 10. This is not a gimmick. I wouldn't spend over $100 on shirts and live show tickets if it were.

>>75403220
Overeem has lost to the same guys Schaub has + Bigfoot Silva. Ubereem has long gone since he came to the UFC.

>>75403292
How many sneaker expert shirts does 100 dollrydoos buy ?

Just stop responding

>>75403317
I own 5 shirts. Plus went to see them at Palm Beach improv.

>>75403321
But his posts are about MMA.

What other MMA forum in the world is Brendan Schaub mentioned twice as many times as Conor McGregor?

>>75403337
No your posts aren't about MMA. They're about you and your sad life.

>>75403369
This is how it's done:
>>>/asp/2529493

>>75403091
Thanks for confirming yourself a casual.

>>75403210
do it bro>>>/asp/2529493

I haven't crosslinked in a while

>>75402768
Yep. Bisping took an even harder knee

>>75403380
>>75403388
This is what will get us merged on asp you jackasses

BET ON JOE LAUZON HES AN UNDERDOG

>>75403386
Please make another blog-post about how you self-insert everyday onto someone who retired 2 years ago by Edmond.

>>75403402
/asp/ needs to be removed desu

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>>75403380
didn't correct it fast enough>>75403388

>>75403402
omg stfu!!!!!! you goofy looking jackass

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>>75401003
Artem "The Torso" LOBOV
La Quinta
De Lima
Dodson
Lauzon
PlatNAM

>>75403354
This isn't a forum, dummy. This is TFATK army HQ.

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>>75403423
This.

>>75403418
What?

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SpergOP if you are here don't listen to these chucklefucks asking to link /asp/ threads in the OP.

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>>75403440
Don't bother with that hater. They are so paranoid they think everyone is me lol.

>>75403444
t. fatty who doesnt trane ufc

>>75403456
Grow up

>fat shitrione trying to convince people to buy lellator ppv on twitter
Wew that is desperate

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>>75403423
>>75403427
>there are people in this world who are fans of Callen
>you share South African Vuvuzelan Image Board with them

when did civilization go so wrong ?

>>75403463
Callen is cool, Schaub is annoying

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>>75401003
Swanson
Iaquinta
OSP
Dodson
Lauzon
Perry

>>75403476
This

>>75403476
Schaub is intelligent, Callen is a bore.

>>75403463
Callen acts as the foil to Schaub. It's a classic duo.

Shob: Clams are the unhealthiest food in the world my guy
Joe: Actually clams are really good for your brain
Shob: Oh I agree 100% for sure I get what you mean bee

>>75403444
Its probably the same fags trying to change /heem/ to /mma/
>>75403457
b8

>>75403476
Callen is insufferable and Rogan, Edgy and Swob are saints for not choking him to death after spending 15 minutes in his company

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>>75403463
>responding to schaub autism
come on poland

>>75403510
Poland I like you, but you're over here looking at me with those beady little eyes claiming Schaub is a saint. I don't know if I can take you seriously now

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Remember

>>75403537
Agreed 100% my man. Schaub is GOD, not merely a saint.

>>75403548
Do you mind if I tweet this to him?

>>75403555
This. Schaub is a God. A benevolent one.