/heem/: NGANNOU edition

Anyone else hate joe rogan?

>>75251614
He's getting increasingly annoying, by the time main even starts he's in full whining mode every event now

>WAAAAH WEIGHT CUTTING
>WAAAAH SHOTS AFTER THE BELL
>WAAAAH THOSE KNEES WERE LEGAL

so on and so forth

You now remember Roy Nelson is fighting tonight

>>75251614
I like how he says religious people are bigoted and shit then he berates anyone who has a religion when they go on his show. Really activates my almonds

>>75251614
I cant stand his screaming at the fake weigh ins
He's an old man on steroids, he has a child as far as I know, yet he still acts immature and talks gay stuff on his podcast.
His attempts at comedy are shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yr-W0e3LSY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWc-xtlMxHs

I dont know him personally but I cant help but dislike this man.

damn this thread is dead as fuck and we're near a UFC event

I guess this is the power of the WME era and Mighty Mouse

>>75251769

The card is pretty stacked for a fight night.

Guess easter and shit is keeping people busy.

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>that clinch break combo into knee

anyone know where i can watch the fights if i dont have tv?

>>75251871
reddit

>>75251871
R/mmastreams

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who hyped for tonight

>>75251906
Other than the Jacare fight I'm really struggling to give a fuck.

>>75251919
>stephens moicano
>smolka elliot
>Volkov Nelson

Lmao?

>>75251962
who are those guys? I can only recognize jeremy stephens

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This thread is moving so slow, everyone will notice I'm Jose Aldo, UFC champion and burger aficionado.

which female fighters have you jacked off the most to?

>>75252004
Nice try, hue. Brazil loves big country

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-WME bows to Jacare
-In contact with interdimentional beings
-Possess psychic-like BJJ abilities
-Controls the middleweight division with an iron but fair fist
-Owns Boxing &Jiu-jitsu gyms globally
-Direct descendant of the ancient Rickson blood line
-Will bankroll the first UFC in the Jungle (Jacareland will be be the Arena)
-Own 99% of DNA and TRT research facilities on Earth
-First fighter babies will in all likelihood be Jacare babies
-Said to have 215+ fight IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & matrix-mode Anderson Silva
-Ancient Indian scriptures tell of two long arms clapping toghter in an alligator-like motion bringing an era of enlightenment and unprecedented submissions with them
-He owns Nanoaçaí R&D labs around the world
-You likely have Jacares inside you right now
-Jacare is in regular communication with Dana White forwarding the word of every fighter to the UFC. Who do you think set up the meeting between Mcgregor & Mayweather (First meeting between two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged Dana’s first trip to WME headquarter in history literally a few days later to the Jacare bunker in Vila-Velha?
-He got his brown belt in under a week
-Nation states entrust their gold reserves with Jacare. There’s no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Jacare
-He is about 7 times ADCC champion, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
-In reality, he is infinitely world champion, submitting anyone in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know his ultimate plans yet. We hope his a benevolent fighter.

>>75251729
also says
>>75252022


Irony, for sure get some alpha brain my guy

>>75251906
>manlets and bald chick
>intredasting
Thank ufc for ealy time when start main and co-main i go to sleep

>>75252068
>Thank ufc for ealy time when start main and co-main i go to sleep

what did he mean by this?

>>75252067
Rose/PVZ was a good jackoff fight

>>75252032
Oh right I didn't realize it was Roy Nelson, but then his last fights have been shit.

>>75252068
Someone get adan to portion this guys' consonants

>>75252067
atleast i dont talk about dicks for 3 hours live on youtube while getting high

>>75252108
Him vs bigfoot was good

>>75252022
I did watch that Jessa rhodes and thought of paige once....

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>>75252105

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>>75251906
She kinda looks like an ant

>>75252022

Isis Love

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>>75252022
Megan Olivi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IldUeQzes8w

SPICY MAIN EVENT NOW

>>75252252
Took me at least a minute before I realized the commentary was in English

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can't wait for mighty meme to get heemed

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Lads this is a solid bet

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>>75252289
Not everyone speaks somali Adan

>>75252337
gambling is haram

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>>75252218
Requesting either Rose smoking cig or a wildling boy webm

>>75252367
jake shields lookin good

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>>75252367
>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf

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>>75252455
Thanks buddeh

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>>75252235

my nigga.

>>75252539
Do it pussy

>>75252252
Yan's TDD is amazing

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>>75252565

Top-tier. Her getting rekt by Dragonlilly was hard to watch though

>>75252539
Mighty Manlet wont lose to this bum

>>75252455
Ugly eastern european bydlo. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>75252539
Literally throwing away money.

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>>75252685
But h

>>75252539
>gambling

shiggy diggy

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>>75251682
>Major Tomd

>>75252822
*But he will lose to him

Great fight in ACB

>>75252839
>>75252822
Faggotsd

>>75252565
>>75252664
This only women fights I appreciate

I had a dream last night I was in a high school gymnasium hanging out with all the UFC heavyweights and Dana was on stage announcing who would get a title shot, I kept saying Ngannou or Overeem should get a shot, and then he brought out Dan Henderson and announced he was the next title contender.

>>75252228
AILF tho

I bet Ashlee Evans-Smith has super stinky farts every day but not quite as bad as Bethe who definitely has toxic waste coming out of that bunda 24/7 they say thats how she got the split decision against Jessica Eye (chemical warfare)

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>>75252967

>>75252967
She's vegan

>>75252992
case closed

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Johnson
Waterson
Whittaker
Stephens

>>75252893
lol

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>>75252881
say hi to Chris for me

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>>75252869
>Pat dieing in a pillow factory accident

how much till fights start?

>>75253158
6 minutes

>>75253158
1 bongs - 54bings

>>75252367
Does she have AFS?

Once you know what that is you can never not see it on someone

>>75253257
>AFS
Allergic Fungal Sinusitis?

>>75253202
wtf can't they start it later i cba

>>75253202
cto ti pierdolis pajacy jebany

>>75253300
alcohol fetal syndrome (or FAS)

>>75253359
Yeah it's Fetal Alcohol Syndrome you dunce

>tfw staying tuned

>>75253377
Don't be rude, he probabaly has FAS.

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>>75253408

OH SHIT

DANA FIGHTPASS FEATURE

GET HYPE

WEIRDOS GETTING BTFO

KET_LEN_VEE_EH_DAH

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WE
ARE
LIVE

http://www.ufc.tv/video/ufc-kansas-city-2017-fight-pass-prelims
http://www.ufc.tv/video/ufc-kansas-city-2017-fight-pass-prelims
http://www.ufc.tv/video/ufc-kansas-city-2017-fight-pass-prelims

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>>75252967
You are sick in the head you loser

If you showed DC your cock what would his reaction be? Good or bad?

When does Cynthia fight?

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>>75253544

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>>75253544
>DC will never tenderly kiss you
;(

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>>75253523
shut up you 20 year old little bitch, all you do is obsess over another man and his family now that is truly sick

>>75253583
this guy looks like a queer all the time, fights like a faggot too

>>75253613
whats not to like?

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>>75253613
So are you fighting Rockhold or uriah next?

JESUS SAVES

Anyone actually watching the FP prelims or care for them?
/heem/ seems pretty dead even for prelims. Even I'm considering just not bothering with FP Prelims anymore unless there's a good headline fighter.

Too much time

>>75253347
early prelims just starrting curaku

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Johnson vs Reis
Namajunas vs Waterson
Souza vs Whittaker
Stephens vs Moicano
Volkov vs Nelson (optional but will goof)

>>75253660
Early start time probabaly will take people some time to realize it. Also
>wmma

I thought DC was supposed to be commentating tonight? Dammit don't enjoy Stann/Anik

>>75253660
I swear I'm not a casual but I just don't care about these people. I'll tune in around time for aljo

>>75253660
it's the mighty mouse effect

the guy is so exciting he could make snorting coke boring

you now remember Renan Barao

What time is the French hypejob on? Debating if I should stay up for half the card or watch the whole thing in the morning

I could have sworn we only have 1 brazilian, why are all you Renan hears a hue's here?

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anybody else disgusted at themselves for being attracted to ashley evans-smith?

whoa triggered by transphobic Anik

transgender fighter? W0T

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>>75253605
You need to get help

>wincing when you get hit

I love wmma

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>>75253605

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>>75253667
DJ, he replies me on twitch, the goat
Waterson, i love her
JACARE
Stephens aka who the fook
Nelson by heem

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>>75253667
Johnson
Namajunas
Souza
Stephens
Volkov

>>75253696
Mate I watch every card from FP Prelims to end and I posted that.
I don't know whether it's the matchmaking or being burned out, but I'm not sure I can be bothered with these FP Prelims anymore

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Reminder

>>75253660

I'm only watching now because I unironically prefer wmma

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>>75253667
Mighty Manlet
Namajunas
Whittaker
Stephens

Ashlee got decent bunda desu

>>75253738
always had more than one, lurk more tubby

Post Ashlee's bf. I know someone he has it.

>>75253778
Stfu you dumb goof nobody is asking you to watch!

>Last week just ended a 3 week drought
>much burnout
Goof the ef off!

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>>75253667
Johnson
Namajunas
Whittaker
Stephens
Volkov

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>>75253776
>DJ, he replies me on twitch,

This is why I like him, too. I can ask a champ questions and not get drowned out by other faggots.

Hope he never gets super popular Tbh

Steepay is getting heem'd by based JDS

Also why is this card so friggin' early?

>>75253664
spoko

>>75253822
ya but it reeks

>>75253861
Ngno

>>75253853
kek I was actually going to add a
>before anyone says no one's telling you to watch
But thought leave it no one's around

>3 current UFC champions fought in cage warriors
>0 current UFC champions fought in bellator

Lellator BTFO

>>75253898
Beat it!

>>75253909
gl

fuck wmma

>>75253909
just send me the $50

>>75253909
All of them except green and Reis are decent picks

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Kill you

>>75253909
Why do Americans do betting odds like this instead of doing it as returns:initial bet

It's dumb they started this so early

>>75253931
just playing with it, no money spent, don't usually gamble

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>>75253948

>>75253613
Cerrone?

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>>75253667
Johnson
Waterson
Souza
Moicano
Volkov

Anyone else watching the riots in America right now?

Better than this shit fight

>>75253949
It's easier

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>>75253873
>he doesnt like stinky buttholes dominating his face

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>>75253958
Bless bro

>>75253948

JONES = GOAT

Lads who do you have in the Smolka Elliot fight? I just threw 50 on Louis

20-18 Hue

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>>75253948

>>75253873
>>75253971
What is wrong with Canadians?

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>>75253980
Bless. Enjoy the fights tonight brother.

>>75253971
cab driver Mousasi

Waterson wouldnt stand a chance against Andrade, right?

>>75253990
I got elliot, son

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>>75253667
Johnson
Waterson
Souza
Stephens
Nelson

>>75253990
>I just threw 50 on Louis
Now why would ya do that?

>>75253980
That's a lot of CTE in one picture

>>75253956
dont start gambling one of biggest mistakes of my life

>>75254014
I'm a wealthy man

>>75254024
Brendan wakes up early to entertain his kid. It's a sacrifice of being a great father. All you do is shitpost here while neglecting your "daughter". Kick rocks dork.

Aaaawwww is, fight night ends in time for me to watch samurai jack too. This'll be a good night lads

>>75253980
Did he just get KO'd again?

>>75254057
>Aaaawwww is, fight night ends in time for me to watch samurai jack too
Shit, really? That's actually pretty great then
Usually I have to split screen it

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>>75253998
>being gay

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>>75253948
Will Cormier kill himself after he loses his paper belt to Jones ?

>>75253778
That's because the UFC has peaked, the current divisions are in shambles, look at LHW, it's the Cormier and Gustafson division now, partly because the UFC sent Phil Davis and Ryan Bader packing, in hindsight that wasn't a smart idea, now there's nobody in there. Then the champions don't want to defend the belt against the no. 1 contender, Woodley keeps bitching about wanting to fight Nick Diaz or whatever instead of calling out the first in line, Bisping has ducked Romero twice in a row now, and he's facing a welterweight who hasn't fought in 4 years instead.

Jones heemed the credibility of the division, and Cormier buried it by cheating to make weight. So he's a paper champ on top of having to cheat to make 205. The FW belt is worthless because the #1 moved away, and the LW belt ain't gonna be defended anytime soon, on top of that shit Khabib, who's a good matchup for the champ, can't make weight and his ramadan jihadi bullshit means he takes huge breaks from fighting, not even sure he would make a good champion, one injury or weight cut debacle in the beginning of the year and he's only fighting in fucking december or so.

The UFC is a joke now, it's not "the best fight the best" as Dana liked to boast about anymore.

>>75253948

Do you really think I took steroids?
*pisses hot*

The girl in blue kinda looks like Christy Mack

>>75254109
Go take pictures of your dog weirdo

>>75254080
How is it like?

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that was shit

Don't know who won that. Ashlee probably gonna get another cheeky split decision.

>>75254113
You read the arbitration, right? USADA admitted he didn't knowingly take a PED, it was a tainted Cialis. They basically suspended him because he called them dick pills

>>75254124
Maybe after War Machine was done with her

does Kansas have the new rules or what?

Why do fighters get so fucking emotional? fuck

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>>75254157
The anti-bunda boi is asking me if im gay? Are you serious? I mean really?

>>75254094
It's going to be sad. He's going to definitely retire and it will probabaly haunt him that his legacy will forever be as the guy who couldn't beat the best.

>>75254205
Have you ever been in a fight?

>>75254209
Megan is the most convincing tranny

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>>75254053

>>75254205
Shut the fuck up and crawl back into a dirt hut

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>>75254238
No. My waifu is pure.

>>75254257
Every second you spend h8ing is a second you missed out on improving yourself.

>>75252719
>bydlo

I laughed more than I should have.

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Feeling lucky tonight lads

>>75254283
How am I hating, I'm posting a picture of my idol. Don't get jealous bro there's enough Schaub for all of us. For sure you don't have a monopoly on big brown

I actually think this is a dumb fight and Cummings wins easy

>>75254180

What about the time his test levels were that of an 80 year old man before the first Cormier fight? Coincidence?

WW3 going on in America right now

Lads just go to sleep
Rizin is tonight

>>75254278
That's why she has "Stand Sure" tattooed over her vagina ?

>>75254321
Whatever you say my dude, but you can't lie to yourself.

>>75254316
>Reis
>Whittaker
boi

>>75254339
sauce?

>>75254360

https://www.pscp.tv/w/1vOxwYXpdXLGB

Riots between Alt right and Antifa

Fireworks being used

>>75254339
How do you know more about what's happening in my country than me? What's going on?

>Tfw literally get my news from /heem/

>>75254360
UFC.tv

>>75254353
Lol get a load of this guy. Stay in your lane you elitist big brown fan

>>75254378
>Riots between literally who and literally who

>>75254345
>shit event
>streams stuttering
it's tempting

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>BROOKLYNN

>>75254339
this better not interrupt my burger and tv time

>>75254352
>being a hater
sad desu

>>75254405
>>75254382
>>75254360

Better one

https://www.periscope.tv/w/1YqKDXZbRbeKV

how many bongs?

>win by murder

HEEEM TAPPSLEEPY

oh no he kilt him

HEEEEEEM SLEEEEPY

quality ref

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>That ref

STOP THE FIGHT SIR

>Stop the fight ref
>s-s-top the fight he's out
>Ref lingers around for 10 more seconds

WEW LAD

>>75254493
wow my country is lame

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STOP THE FIGHT SIR

he tapped. that ref should be embarrassed. he should not have been put out

Mike "Just Let Him Die" England

>>75254484
On the contrary, she's a dirty girl tho

>Announcers calling you out on bad refereeing

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nutted but she still suckin

>mismatch ends dangerously
this shit needs to stop, fucking Mick Maynard is such a terrible matchmaker

GET OUTTA THERE TRAVIS

HEEM NAPPY (Tapped and slept)

>>75254569

Bretty based to be honest

>>75254600
Faber is BACK!

>>75254584
I'm Mike England and this is Jackass

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IS THE AUDIO OFF FUCKING SYNC FOR ANYONE ELSE?

he tapped like stipe

STOP THE FIGHT SIR

>>75254661
yea problem on fight pass's end

OOO AH AH AH A!

>>75254331
What are you even talking about?

>>75254180
>"I took tainted Cialis, thats why i pissed hot" HAHAHAHAHAHA What a fucking faggot

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>>75254680
What are YOU talking about ?

kinda shocked that a wrestling coach Coy's caliber couldn't flare that high crotch to the right instead of running the pipe left
the former would have prevented that choke
looks like Cummings might have baited that exact response though

>>75253948
he shouldn't talk about cheating when he clearly cheated to make weight in his last fight

I love her :3

https://twitter.com/Amanda_Leoa/status/853329414125494272

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>>75254677
They need to get that shit fixed for fucks sake

>>75254682
>Not even reading the USADA decision
>Sucking off the succman

Need Sanchez to lose

>walking out to Eminem

>Eminem

He's already lost.

>eminem
DROPPED

>Eminem

Welp I've lost 10 pounds

>>75254755
>>75254760
>>75254763
>>75254780


He walked out to eminem last time and won via KO if I remember it right

Cursed walkout

SOOOOOUUUOOOUUUUOOOOOOOOL

>Waling out to any eminem track that isnt Til I Collapse

Why does Dana approve this shit?

Fight Pass pisses me off so much for using Flash in 2017

sanchez wrestlefucks him

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>>75254710

One has to wonder why she's still with Nina when she could be fucking 10s or atleast dating fighters that dont fucking suck

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g u y s
g u y s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPrzkkbxFeQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPrzkkbxFeQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPrzkkbxFeQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPrzkkbxFeQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPrzkkbxFeQ

Oh man that sweep

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How long does it take for them to put up the fights on fightpass?

Which one is white?

>>75254938
about a month

Fuckin keith peterson that manlet fagggot

>>75254727

If you genuinely believe that Jones didn't/doesn't use PEDs you're very naive

Is it a felony to hit / perform a lock on someone after a stoppage? Say it's just half a second.

10-9 Sanchez

>>75254969
gay

>That 0 head movement from Smith

>>75254938
these fights will be up instantly, ppvs take a month

>>75254992

Technically yes, it would be assault

>>75254992
idk if its a felony, but its definitely bad for your career

>>75254864
Don't post this ever again

I'M NOT WATCHING THIS
EVERYBODY I'M NOT WATCHING

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>>75255009
excellent ty

>Arlovski is still fighting

What's his end game?

GODDAMN WRESTLE FUCKERS

the skinhead is losing this

>That trip

Wew need a webm lel

>>75255109
he is just balding lmao

Wrestling is the thinking man's martial art.

>>75254109
It's never really been "the best fight the best", but most of this is true. The decline in matchmaking and star power has exposed the lack of depth. At best they have a rocky couple years coming up.

Hold old were you when you realized kickboxing is better than MMA?

>betting against someone named Sancez ever

>>75255125
only racist go bald tho. they hate the hair right outta their head

>>75255186
Put 100 on Diego

>>75255180
My current age when I discovered the wonders of K-1

lol this crowd is rowdy as fuck and its still fight pass prelims. I love these small market crowds.

>>75254109
>Woodley keeps bitching about wanting to fight Nick Diaz or whatever instead of calling out the first in line
Lol Woodley just fought the #1 contender twice in a row and retained.

>>75255215
Yeah crowds who are into it are great

This fight seems alright, I'm not really watching it though

HEEM SLEEPY

>>75255219

woodly should fight miky gal

woweeee

>>75254790
>>75254755
>>75254760
>>75254763
>>75254780

See lads? Curse is broken.

COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK COMEBACK

Late Stoppage

>>75255186
Thanks. I'll be sure not to listen to you... Ever.

BEAUTIFUL WORK

>>75255219
He did, but now he's calling out Nick Diaz, who hasn't won a fight in years and the last win was against has been BJ Penn of all people. The issue here is that champs don't want to face the number 1 contenders anymore, welcome to the money-fights-only era. WME did away with a lot of the UFC's legitimacy, now Mousasi and Jacare might walk away and end in Bellator or so, they might as well just move on, it's not like the belt matters in the UFC anymore when it's circus fight after circus fight for the belt.

>Getting heem'd like that

EMINEM CURSE BTFO

I JUST WON 30 POUNDS

HEEM

WHAT A FINISH!

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HOLY HEEM

WEBBUM PLEASE

Please webm bros

HEEEEEMMMMMMM

take that Sanchez you grapple fucker faggot

he's gone vegetal for life

good card so far

TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM TOP HEEM v

HEEM

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Beautiful

Meeegan in audience

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>walk out to eminem twice in a row
>2 KOs in a row

??

>Exiting in a straight line

He was just asking to be heemed.

>>75255361
Curse doesn't apply to him.

>>75255361
Anthony the anomaly Smith

>>75255372
was gassed

What a lad.

>>75255372
He couldn't even keep his hands up, he was completely gassed.

this is the song rob emerson walked out to last night and got btfo

>>75255358
Christ

>>75255427

>Rob msn

he had potential

carlton banks bout to get heemed

Based walkout song

>>75255427
>rob emerson
holy shit that dude is still fighting? TUF 5 never die.

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No webm replay bros?

>>75255463
tuf 5 was the fucking best

>Looking for a goof fighter

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Picked Sanchez, but I like Smith
He's really stepped up his game recently and he's a good guy despite his mean look

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>>75255410
>commentators in 2nd round praise Sanchez's cardio
>gassed to shit in 3rd

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>>75255492

>ywn steal her anal innocence

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>>75253667
Volkov
Stephens
Jacare
Karate Hottie
Reis