/heem/

Who is your favorite currenty UFC champion?

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>>75028432

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>>75028432
Joanna

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>>75028432
unironically tyron woodley

>>75028458
This desu

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USADA'd

>>75028498
look at those fat arms

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>>75028432

>>75028498
damn, Yoel would easily lay this guy out the next time they fight

>>75028498
*blocks your path*

>>75028485

My man

Also his podcast on Sherdog is awesome

it's literally called "The Morning Wood Show with Deez Nutz"

>>75028498
Whittaker is done

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Dad Kelly Vs Dad Quinn
>who wins

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>>75028750
>incognito

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>>75028750
jesus thats actually impressive

>>75028918
its great pay but keep in mind that its overtime because those are night shifts

>>75028841
Lol stay fat, Jamal. Keep hammering away at those 12 piece buckets lmao

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>>75028771
hairless tiny trump hands mind you

>>75028498
looks USADA'd, used to be much more ripped/tight

>>75029200
>not being a gnome means you're fat

Lmao you are furious

>>75029255
Prove me wrong. I say you make Roy Nelson look like a twink.

>>75029343
but you unironically make chad mendes look tall

>>75028840
Huh? Speak up lil guy. Use those tiny hands lmao

i cant tell if everyone is just desperate for discussion or is it always this easy to troll heem?

>>75029525
A little column A
A little column B

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Cormiers wife is a thicc slut and I want to bang her booty in the doody, from now on ufc 210 embedded will be known as thiccbedded

>>75029343
You make Mighty Mouse look like Jon Jones

>>75029638
Except their both black and I'm the best color: white

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reminder to be hard to kill

Man... I remember when I used to post in /heem/. It was around the time before the UFC FUCKING DIED AND WAS BURIED IN A CONCRETE COFFIN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FUCKING OCEAN LIKE HOLY FUCK YOU MONGRELS GIVE IT UP

>>75029823
DUDE PTSD LMAO

dad dc a cute. CUTE!

/heem/, post tips on how to spot a Fake Fight Fan™

I'll start:

They unironically hate DC

>>75029962
They don't have fight pass.

>>75029962
they watch wmma fights

>>75029962
How many UFC's have you been to?

>>75029962
They like Conor McGregor

fuck weidman is in good shape

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>embedded: family feels edition

>>75030076
Mousasi is still gonna whoop that a

>>75030011

Agree

>>75030038

Spotted the Fake Fight Fan™

>>75030048

Well done, always question authority

>>75030073

Spotted the Fake Fight Fan™

>>75029962
A fake fight fan will NEVER rate Matt Hughes

>>75030184
Grow up.

>>75028821
Whats the name of this band?

>>75030216
Newton choked him out

>>75030260
The Joe Rogan Experience

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>I rank GSPEE

144

Are counterstrikers a joke? They literally refuse to fight unless someone else draws first blood.

>>75030561
Yes. This is why Stephen Thompson is not an exciting fighter.

Poosasi getting BTFO on saturday

if Aldo loses to Holloway what is his MMA legacy

>>75030716
Never drawing a dime

>>75030184
So you've been to zero UFC's and you think you get to decide who is or isn't a fight fan? Suck a dick.

>>75030716
Famous burgers

>>75030716
when marc finishes max, aldo, and yair...

where will he be p4p?

>>75030716
I'd love to see him move up to LW and do some meme fights

>>75030716
FW GOAT

>>75030716
overrated fag who only looked good in some rinky dink org called WEC

also
>turteen seconds

>>75030872
he loses to conor at FW like 7 out of 10 times

conor's power and reach at that weight arent even fair. aldo is used to being the bigger if not stronger guy

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>>75030943
pull out artist

now that the dust has settled... can we finally rename it to the Ultimate Weight-Cutting Championship?

>>75030953
Aldo is still the FW GOAT

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>>75031000
GOAT of a meme weight class that hasn't even been around that long and couldnt draw a bath before con-air came and killed it

>>75031029
>and couldnt draw a bath
Irrelevant and not the point.

>>75030977
so glad I didnt even know what heem was back when this happened

Toothless vs cowgirl on for UFC 213.

>>75031172
>>75031172

Don't care

>Harambe heems DC. Manuwa gets title shot. Gets heemed again.

When is Bones coming back.

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>>75031217
>Manuwa gets title shot.
You mean Gus gets title shot then gets mauled again.

>>75031205
No one asked you, bitch.

>>75031240
Sign the contract

>>75031233
no more title shots for Gus or Conduit

>>75031233
>Harambe heeming everyone.

State of the LHW division.

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brb guys gotta take a yuge schaubf

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Had a yuge meal and my intestines had a big breakdown of everything now time to go deposit a schaub in the schab receptacle

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>>75031291
>>75031303

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>>75031342

>>75028458
Her check engine light is on

>>75031291
>>75031303
This was never funny or clever.

>>75031318
>2 million people downloaded audio of Schwoop taking a shit

Astounding.

>>75031342
he looks like shit

>>75031368
Calm down coral springs

>>75031355
Is it normal to have a biceps that goes beyond the bend of your arm?

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>>75031368
I disagree.

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>>75031368
>>75031318

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>>75031388
>>75031392

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>>75031392
kek

>>75031342
>you now want a hamburger

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>>75031405

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>>75031419

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>>75031405

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>>75031428

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>>75031428
#FakeNews

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>>75028432

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>>75031440
>>75031443

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I'm going to adopt Tiger Schaub so I can give him medicine to reverse his hereditary CTE

Ti-gay Swab bless (namaste)

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when did it get this bad?

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>>75031466
You literally have pictures saved of a random man's family and child

Seek help

>b-b-but he posts them on social media!!!!

Doesn't mean he wants your creepy ass hoarding them. He would spit in your face and throw you through a glass door if he ever found about your perversion

>>75031466
Schaub's Mexican fuck-toilet of a wife looks shittier with every single picture, it's incredible.

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>>75031488
>perversion
I'm literally just a fan. I've met Brendan and had him sign 3 shirts and take a pic with me. We even had a 5 minute chat. NOTHING bad happened. No arguments nothing. He wouldn't care whatsoever. >>75031468 This guy is who you should be concerned about. He literally fantasizes that Tiger is gay. It's sick.

Guys did he really name his son Tiger?

Can't believe I used to post in this piss poor excuse for a general

>>75031521
You now understand the true power of CTE

>i know, i'll dye my hair silver, that'll look so cool

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>>75031520
You have hundreds of pictures of a single man saved on your computer. You have dozens of his child and dozens others of his family as a whole. That is not "just a fan"

>NOTHING bad happened
Probably because you kept up the shroud of being a somewhat normal person as opposed to an obsessive psychopath. He would actually make a Big Brown Breakdown of your entire face if he found out you were basically stalking his son and wife

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>>75031537
Where do you post now?

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>>75031520
>This guy is who you should be concerned about.
we are sworn enemies but at the same time I like you cause you always take the b8

>>75031537
Lol pussy how shook are you still

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just a heeminder

>>75031521
it's such a nigger move. "tiger" is something you call a kid casually, yknow like "go get 'em, tiger." it's like fucking naming your kid "sport" or "slugger." schaub is almost too stupid to breathe.

>>75031538
>>75031566
im not even fucking trolling is it an inside joke/nickname or did he really do it

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H8rs be gone!

>>75031583
he 100% for sure did it my man (seriously)

About that MMA discussion

>>75031545
>basically stalking his son and wife
I don't think you understand what stalking means. I don't know their address, I don't call them, I don't harass them. I don't even harass them on social media. All I do is save pictures like everyone else does on this general of their favorite fighters. I'm not obsessive and I'm not a psychopath either. I'm a huge fan, literally no different than your average season ticket holder for a basketball team. I have to explain this to you degenerates every single night it seems.
>>75031551
I can't help myself. It's personal. You abuse my impulses. It's bullying tactics that probably stem from somewhere in your life. It's annoying.

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>>75031585
How can one fanbase be so BASED?

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>>75031590
>Tiger Schaub

>>75031600
youre in the wrong general friendo. you're thinking of /mma/ general. this is heem

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>>75031605
>All I do is have probably in excess a thousand of pictures of them and take any insult about them personally in a very mentally unhealthy manner as if I am them and constantly post about them every waking moment of my life

What did you mean by this?

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alright so Coral Springs BTFO once again, see you guys tomorrow for another episode of /heem/

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>>75031583
He literally, unironically, seriously, as a full grown adult, in a marriage, a man with a considerable amount of financial stability, with a strong social network, burdened his first born son with the ridiculous name of Tiger.

Tiger. Like the animal. Tiger Schaub.

>>75031659
If I serve as a pillow for you to punch to relieve some anger - that's great. If you are happy at this point in time, I'm not complaining. I'm not 'BTFO' , because I'm still here and not going anywhere. If your primary source of relief is from putting others down then I think you need to look into that. Take care bro.

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For sure my man

Brendan Schaub is Jorge Masvidal's bitch

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>>75028432
Woodley and based Joanna

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Cro chops will return and fight Fedor, good luck Mr. Mirko sir

>>75031428
>18 votes

>>75031466
>cows eyes are closed
>shlubs eyes are looking at the camera
> tigers eyes are looking at each other.

>>75031733
>cow
Please post a picture of your gorgeous gf.

>>75031739
Just start yelling that you shit yourself again

>>75031739
Beg me

>100 post straight of shawb talk
cant even count on night time heem to be comfy any more. heem is truly ded

>>75031757
Thank these 2 posts right here for starting it all. I was here talking about MMA until >>75031291
>>75031303 agitated me.

>>75031757
This is fun, quit being a nerd.

Reminder that Jon Jones roided and snorted himself into ED and ruined UFC 200

>>75031764
>getting this triggered

JAN JONES

Are we pretending now

>>75031790
>Roided
>Snorted himself into ED
You either believe one or the other

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Reminder that USADA actually gave Jon Jones a retroactive suspension after Jon got prescription pills from a roided out training partner who ordered the pills + clomiphene from a website called "All American Peptide" without any prescription

Nice little kicker. His roided out teammate initially lied about when he got the clomiphene and then USADA found out that the date he ordered it was actually impossible and that his roided out teammate also lied about where he initially got it from.

So basically, Jon Jones enlisted a roided out bodybuilder to buy prescription pills off some shady website and somewhere else, the teammate lied about both and what he ordered initially. Jon never actually asked where they were ordered from, what they contained, didn't read any labels, didn't bother checking with anyone about how safe these pills were and got off with a retroactive 1 year suspension

Thanks USADA! Thanks guys! Thank you!

>>75031816
Or you know both since he does both

>>75031839
You realise the only reason you even have this story is because USADA did the work?
If they wanted they could've swept it all under the rug, 200 would've happened and you wouldn't know jack shit.

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BOO ME! YES BOO ME! THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE

>>75031851
N U C L E A R H E A T

JON!

*rails two lines of dick pills*

rate my walkout song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orDQffiroeU

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THEY SAY DANIEL WADDA YOU WANT

AND I SAY I WANT THE EASIEST FIGHTER IN THE DIVISION

I WANT RYAN BADER

I WANT THE EASIEST FIGHT IN THE DIVISION

I WANT RYAN BADER

>>75031867
Autistic screeching/10

lads i'm very much looking forward to christopher weidman vs gegard mousasi

DC looses the belt due to his knees collapsing under his fat ass.

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Artem Lobov is headlining a UFC show in 18 days

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>>75031901

Why do heavy weights have glass chins? They are always getting KO'd.

>>75031907
They generate the most power

>>75031907
Athletic talent is inversely proportional to size. Not many Travis Browne sized humans, lots of Conor McGregor sized humans. Naturally this means the larger population size of lightweight makes for a more difficult time rising to the top, so there's fewer scrubs up there in the top 10.

>>75031938
You sound gay and your shits all retarded.

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>>75029823
OCULAR PATDOWN

>>75031938
the thing about that is, you're wrong. like most canadians your logic is flawed.
the reason there isn't high level talent at the upper weights is because big top tier athletic guys can make a way more money playing any other sport and not have their face beaten in daily.
they could play basketball or football which appeal much more to youth and have much more defined routes to success from youth
the big athletic guys that dont get picked to go into real sports and go into mma is probably less than 1% of big athletic guys
alternatively small highly athletic guys cant compete at real sports without being the highest of the highest tier so mma makes much more sense for them to go into it

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Y O E L

>>75031986
Is this the natty limit mayne?

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you guys ever search the archive for your own files and read your old posts? thats a fun time

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Post your face when Brock comes back to co-headline the GSP vs Bisping and DC vs Jones card against CAIN.

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>>75032048

This man blocks your path and starts running towards you...what do you do?

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>>75032064

>>75031906
cub is goin to HEEM this goof

Cub "the memes end here" Swanson

>>75032064
dig a cain out of an old glacier, don't let his strength and conditioning coach find him first

>>75032094
he does have cro-magnon vibes about him

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>>75032101
small eyes, sloped forehead, broad and high facial plane, flat back of the head

very primitive looking

Did DC pussy out yet?

>>75032146
an anthropologist would have loved the bigfoot, cain and JDS era

>>75028425
Dude I wouldn't subscribe to any of your fuckin utube channels and I also would kick your fuckin asses irl

What marital art do you take

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Jorge a savage

>>75032220
lol. those cuban-american conservative ATT members stick together

i wonder if yoel is getting citizenship soon? he can go back to cuba, but would never do so

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>>75030322

>decision machine

Yez but ze fayt gaym is like stuck mahkit

>>75032220
cubans gotta watch out for each other u know

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>>75030716

According to his biopic, it all peaks at the Mark Hominick fight. Which was weird.

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>>75031368

I think it's absolutely hilarious

>>75032253
i still got to watch the hammer as well. at least now we have 6 mma movies. here comes the boom, never back down 2 and the bollywood movie with t-wood need "realer" movies to counter them,

>>75032220
Who is Brandon Swab? Sounds like a q-tip

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>Skleb received permission from Dana White to participate in the Metamoris 2 Brazilian jiu-jitsu tournament on June 9, 2013, facing Roberto "Cyborg" Abreu in a no-gi rules match.[50] During the match, Skleb refused to engage Abreu in his ground game, butt-scooting away from his opponent each time and earning the ire of the crowd, being heckled several times. After the 20 minutes lapsed, the judges unanimously decided the match in Abreu's favor.[51] During the post-fight interview Bronson Skleb, confused about the crowd's reaction, claimed that viewers were uninformed: "They don't understand what they were seeing, 100%." and also previous opponents of Roberto "Cyborg" Abreu claiming that they "fell for his game, and weren't able to neutralize him like I was".


>mfw it's completely legit

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>>75032220
Romero is scared.

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BIGBONG

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>>75032299

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Do you believe that DC run 40 yards in 4.5 ? That's NFL level for linebackers

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>>75032302
http://www.nfl.com/combine/profiles/von-miller?id=2495202

for comparison

Does The Chris even have a chance on Saturday?

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This worth watching?

>>75032287
>He didn't know
That entire event ruined Metamoris' reputation.

>>75032302
in high school, especially in some podunk cajun shithole like lafayette, they aren't gonna be using precise measuring instruments. some arthritic hungover coach probably flubbed the timer.

>>75032302
He was an Olympic caliber wrestler so yes I believe he could.

>>75032315
no, there are zero mma documentaries worth watching besides the smashing machine. they're all garbage.

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>>75028432
GSP

>>75029823
navy seal pasta

>>75029962
"DC sux"
"GSP is a boring fighter"
"Superstar Nate Diaz is GOAT"
"...except for Conor McGoober who is the GOATest GOAT ever!!!1"
"Women's MMA is really great and exciting; I'm really pumped for _______'s next fight. She's my fightfu! xoxoxo!"

>>75032369
>"GSP is a boring fighter"
>That flag

He really is

>>75032369
but GSP IS a boring fighter.

>>75032369
>Georges "hold people down for 25 minutes" St-Pierre
>not boring
yawn

>>75032369
GSP is a boring wrestler wanker, maybe earlier in his career he was a bit better, but he's the quintessence of a boring fighter.

>>75032369
GSP is unironically the king of the boring, decision fight.

>there are people in this thread who think Nick is better than Nate
UFC record:
Nate - 14-9
Nick - 7-7

>>75032432
nick might be shot. nick is kinda like silva, in that both got so savvy no one knew they were losing their ability due to their fight IQ

>>75032369
gsp is actually boring fyi

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fug lads, I love dutch girls
nothing even comes close

>>75032369
If anything, not thinking GSP is boring is more fake.

>>75032328
t. faggot that hasn't seen Fightville.

>>75032369
GSP is honestly the most boring fighter in UFC history.

>>75032444
there is something loveable about lanky girls

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>>75032369
ya if you think GSP is boring we cant be friends. lose my number

>>75032378
>>75032383
>>75032425
>>75032426
>>75032430
>>75032442
>>75032447
>>75032455

gsp is boring as fuck 100% my man

>>75032460
it's not that, it's they're so chill
not stuck up at all

complete opposite of italian girls hahah

Lads, what was the best main event since 189?
I'm gonna say Lawler vs Condit, even though I scored it 3-2 Condit.

>>75032469
193 for the shock factor

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>>75032432
Nick- Stikeforce champion with multiple defenses
Nate - never held any belt

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>>75032444
>tfw I asked out a dutch girl in school but she said no

>>75031585
I like schaub and tfatk but this shit is a bit cringy m8 making shit like this. Schaubs a pretty entertaining guy for a fighter but y'all need to get a grip with this homoerotic praise.

>>75032480
I'm sure if Nate was in Strikeforce, he'd of won the lightweight belt. Regardless, why has Nate got a better record in the top MMA promotion in the world if he's not better?

>>75031679
Schaubs not married.

>>75032466
italian girls in my uni are pretty cool, funny accents though

>>75032484
better luck next time m80

>>75032484
>tfw fucked a half dutch girl with freckles and an ugly pussy

>>75032497
Tfw i only get dutch pussy... well thats a lie had a bulgarian last year.

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2 weeks no 4chan, what news have I missed?

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>>75032497
>tfw fucked a Dutch hooker in Vegas with weird pussy lips
Kaaskop

>>75032505
didn't miss any news but you did miss several sperg outs by /heem/'s finest

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Odds are out for the full UFC 210 card.

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>>75030076
>Put me back in, coach

>>75032521
Blachowiz is worth a sprinkle

>>75032516
gookmoot should hire specific janitors for generals, i'd do it for free

>>75032469
>Great back and forth fights
Lawler vs Condit
Dillashaw vs Cruz
Jedrzejczyk vs Gadelha II
Diaz vs McGregor II

>One sided
Hendricks vs Thompson
Rothwell vs dos Santos
Alvarez vs McGregor

>OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Rousey vs Holm
Aldo vs McGregor
McGregor vs Diaz I
Rockhold vs Bisping II

Of the three categories I'd have to pick McG-Diaz 2, McG-Doggo, and for the last one probably Rousey-Holm

>>75032497
never banged a dutch girl lads
what does dutch pussy look like

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>>75032523
Ben Rothlesberger is Weidmans real dad

>>75032469
203? 199? 189 didn't even have that good of a main event

>>75032539
>wmma
Lel

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>>75032369

>implying GSP isn't boring

He is boring

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>>75032521
Olivera + Weidman + Cormier = Free money

>>75032549
>triggered by women

>>75032469

>199
>194
>206

In that order, 199 was the goat event

>>75032505

Dockboy has been getting quite severely bullied by multiple american flags, and as a result has been sperging out quite heavily.

Fun to watch but that's pretty much all that has been happening

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>>75032554
Cormier is getting Harambed, heem is getting the champion we deserve

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>>75032550
>>>/wsg/1624842

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/HEEM/ PREDICTS UFC 210

Daniel Cormier vs. Anthony Johnson
Chris Weidman vs. Gegard Mousasi
Cynthia Calvillo vs. Pearl Gonzalez
Thiago Alves vs. Patrick Côté
Will Brooks vs. Charles Oliveira

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>>75032621
Rumble
Moose
Calvillo
Alves
Brooks

>>75032623
KARPIK

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>>75032621
Johnson
Mousasi
Calvillo
Alves
Brooks

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>>75032640
sharpest mind in MMA

VIRTUALLY IDENTICAL

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Is jumping an effective tactic against takedowns?

>>75032729
lol, maybe if they are diving on a low single

>>75032698
For sure man 100% son, MERK'D

>>75032564
>filename
What level of retard are you?

>>75032765
How dumb are you ? It's obviously a joke you daft cunt

>>75032773
Sorry mate but there genuinely are people who hate Cormier and I just don't get it man.

>>75032621
DC
Wideman
Gonzalez
Cote
Brooks

*headkicks everyone you've ever cared about*

>>75032781
I don't necessarily hate him, but he's a lame and deserves to be forgotten.

>>75032621
DC
Moose
Calvillo
Alves
Brooks

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>>75032556
>tfw I was at 199

>>75032814
Sounds like hate to me. The guy is a legend at this point.

>>75032826
lol no he isnt.

>>75032841
Why? Started MMA late and dominated top heavyweights before transitioning to LHW and winning the title at like 36 years old. His one loss is to the consensus best fighter of all time so far. To say he won't be considered a legend is just silly.

>>75032818
You have to post a picture with your picks bro

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>>75032621
Rumble
Moose
Calvillo
Cote
Brooks

>>75032852
i actually forgot he was champion, thats how cucked by jones he is.

>>75032852
>dominated top heavyweights
What "top heavyweights" did he finish?

What's that? None? All his heavyweight wins were via decision? Oh.

>>75032879
Have you resorted to trolling because my arguments were making you uncomfortable?

>>75032882
No I'm trying to explain how stupid it is to say he dominated top heavyweights when in reality he leaned on them for 5 rounds. Meanwhile Jon Jones was destroying Murderer's Row: choked out machida, made shogun tap to strikes, cut up rampage. That's dominating.

DC is a pullout merchant bum.

>>75032895
Jones has had plenty of decision victories. I know you're not stupid enough to think decisions don't count so please stop pretending to be retarded.

>>75032906
They count less than finishes. A lot less.

DC will never be considered a real champ. People are always gonna know that he never beat Jones.

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Remember when people thought DC could beat Jones. I remember my buddy telling me "DC trains with Cain! He's gonna be used to Jones' size."

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>cheering for any AKA fighter ever

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>>75032926

He'll beat Jones in about 3 months friendo

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>>75032621
Harambe
Weirdman
Cavillo
Alves
Oliveira

>>75032926
Jones didn't even show up to the second fight because he was on steroids though.
Either way disregarding everything a fighter did because of the outcome of one fight is pretty retarded.

>>75032943
>Jones didn't even show up to the second fight because he was on steroids though.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the typical little DC bitch. See how he pretends DC didnt pussy out of fighting Jones at 197?

Remember when DC was a piece of shit who disgraced his country pussying out of competing when he was at the olympics? He was a pullout merchant before he even knew was mma was.

>>75032852
>steroid abusing, grandpa eyepoker
>lost to gus
>consensus best fighter of all time so far

uhm, try again sweetie

>>75029823
this goober got his ass beat by a fat mexican 170er lmao

>>75032973
>calling anyone sweetie

Are you a faggot or do you just spend a lot of time on tumblr and reddit?

>>75032973
>sweetie

You like dick in your butt.

>>75032978
>kelvin
>a 170er

lol pick one idiot

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>>75032973
>sweetie

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>>75032621
>Humble Bumbling Rumble foam roller man by tko
>MY BOY by decision
>Calvillo
>Alves
>Oliveira

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>>75032973
>uhm, try again sweetie

>>75028498
Is there a joke that I'm missing here? Doesn't look any different than usual. But then again, he's wearing a hoodie so it's hard to tell.

>I only enjoy women's MMA

What do I mean by this?

>>75032307
He's gonna be shooting for his life in there, but it's a long 15 minutes.

Why do we keep entertaining the needs of that disgusting Floridian paedophile? Should be fucking locked up

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>>75032996
>>75032989
>>75032983
>>75032979

same sweetie

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any fresh memes towards this saturday?

you know, rumble was a welterweight

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>>75033059

*portions dip*

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>aaaah Bryan I cant move oh god Bryan help

*lays on you for 25 minutes*
*still can't finish*

>>75033278
*nigsplodes for 10 seconds*
*gasses out*
*gets submitted by the 3rd round*

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>>75033305
This

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What went wrong?

>>75033309
Does he realize that thousands of people literally saw him eating tiramisu on embedded or whatever promotional video that was?

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>>75033218

is Brongle Shneb a good fighter?

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>>75033309

ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAR FACES

>watch a fight
>3 random old men tell you who won
>pretend their opinions actiallly had any impact on the fight

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>>75033350
>>watch a fight

Anyone else bummed the paddy meme is over? Would have loved to see him get another robbery decision