/heem/: marc diakiese edition

>>74774552
Schaub bless

>most sharp

fuck binborb skoobi

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>>74774508
I remember a british dude from /heem/ who bet iirc over 4.000 pounds on a KO win for GGG.
If you are reading this...please dont suicide :(

Man h8rs are a wreck right now. I almost feel bad for them.

Is Jimmy Maneuver a threat in the division? That ko was sweet doe.

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lets take a moment to admire schwebz retirement fight, total back door domination

>>74774661
He got dismantled by Gus fairly easy

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>>74774595
I think my mild success in bets made him follow the degenerate path

I think he was trying to chase loses with that huge bet

My heart goes to him

>>74774661
Time to pack it all up and leave

"Being the OP is the most important thing in my life"

- a pathetic loser

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well shit /heem/ is deader than Schaubs career

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>>74775482
>implying

>>74775513
wow this pic says 2 million downloads that means that its true schwob wouldnt be lying now would he lmao

>>74774508
everyone keeps telling me that you're banned

What do you lads reckon will happen during the Rumble x DC fight?

>>74776071
So this is the power of New Sweden

>>74776016
DC's knees give out after the first minute.

Rumble tees off on him early 2nd round.

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>>74775984
spergOP is dead
there is only SWISOP now

>>74776016
DC fights injured and gets knocked out

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>>74776179
People were saying that decision was bad when it happened, but I can see why the judges scored it that way
Lansberg clearly edged rounds 1 and 2, and while Pudilova dominated round 3, it wasn't enough to warrant a 10-8

>>74776016
I think Rumble will get the heem this time
Not sure why, just a gut feeling

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>>74776071
that hematoma is Mitrione tier

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Michael Chiesa calls Tony Ferguson’s refusal to fight him ‘hypocritical’

http://www.mmafighting.com/2017/3/19/14928562/michael-chiesa-calls-tony-fergusons-refusal-to-fight-him-hypocritical

>>74776187
I don't get it

>>74776436
>>74776407
>>74776377
Thank you. Very cool!

>>74774508
lol i knew you would be back at it before the end of the week

>>74774508
This is actually worse: I had you filtered by file name. Fucking zilch.

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>>74776433
swim

>>74776356
he got lucky that he was scheduled to fight Tony in the first place
beating #10 doesn't earn you a shot at the #2 contender, he should have fought a #4-8 guy first

>>74776356
Chiesa/Barboza sounds good

"The OP is my life because im a fucking friendless zero"

>>74776545
swimOP? what the fuck is that

stop being mysterious and just tell me

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>>74776556
It would be an interesting clash of styles, I think Barboza would win

Dariush was chewing Chiesa up on the feet, and I can see Barboza's TDD holding up against most guys in the division (everyone except Khabib and maybe Alvarez, now that RDA is a welterweight)

>>74776654
swim is an acronym

>>74774508

>muh grappling

kek Boxing is always the most determinant factor everywhere

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>>74776721
>Boxing is always the most determinant factor everywhere

>>74774508
Thank You Based SWISOP

>>74776654
He's a friendless loser that cant fit into regular society so he forces his abortion of a life on us

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>>74776721
the early UFCs decisively proved that unless a striker develops the necessary skill in some aspect of grappling to stop a grappler from imposing their game on them, the grappler will almost always win

grappling is the most important part of MMA, the only reason we see so many successful strikers today is because they've developed the necessary TDD to keep the fight on the feet

>>74776731
>>74776801
You are the biggest loser ever

>>74776838
archivegod bless

>>74776838
Fucking ArchiveGOD

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>Mickey Gall does 1 fight and gets to go to the UFC immediately

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>>74776838
>>74776875
>>74776888
quick reminder to hide this samefag's posts whenever you see them
he has a 4chan pass, so the cooldown period he experiences between posts is shorter

Will take webm requests from fight pass

what happened to the picks?

>>74776934
>m-muh 4chan pass!!!

You are a fucking fat towelhead zero

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>>74776948
I won 2 in a row and prediction guy decided that there's no point anymore since we now know who is the sharpest mind in MMA

>>74776934
Sit the fuck down and respect archivegod

>>74776938
woodley wonderboy round 3 around the 3rd minute. the "body shots" sum up that shit fight perfectly

How many of you guys actually plan on fighting?

>>74776977
wait a a minute
he didn't goof the predictions?

>>74777009
No, because he's an uber-loser Reddit dork who thought he was too good for us because we didnt suck him off for his shitty calendars

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>>74776927
Calling out CM Punk was a smart move by him
Gall fit right into a very unique position created by the fact that he had been signed
Punk was an 0-0 wrestler who had a large following and little to no MMA experience, he shouldn't have even been in the UFC in the first place, and needed an opponent who he could theoretically stand a chance against

For some reason, the UFC thought that was Gall, despite him training in martial arts for years, winning NAGA, and holding his own against Gordon Ryan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yacwz6W0hYM

>>74777028
you're the one who kept sperging about his calendar. fuck off

>>74776433
>>74776654
the joke is that hes spergOP but hes pretending to not be spergOP while acting exactly like spergOP

>>74777009
Nope, he said that he was overwhelmed with heem's autism and he only did predictions as a practice in graphics software. He also said that he will from now on only do the calendar once a month and if anybody wants it he can give the picks template

>>74777028
you sound really upset my dude

>>74777050
>>74777028
lol that's great

i'll load up paint shop now, fights in 3 weeks

>>74777047
I don't think he's pretending not to be, I just don't get what is going on

Can I get a quick rundown on Archivegod?

>>74777047
what a clever ruse

>>74777089
I think you're him using a proxy. That or you're legitimately retarded. No offense.

He got banned at least once. He changed his file names from heem192 to what you're seeing now. He'll still make the threads and salivate over khabib.

>>74777089
He's a fucking friendless OCD aspie proxying loser zilch desperately looking for friends.

>>74777107
Savior of /heem/

>>74777028
>>74777123
you doing okay my there friend? you sound really uspset

>>74777047
Are you saying he worked himself into a shoot?

>>74776801

Do you even know what determinant means?

>>74777121
I know that he got banned once, I just don't know why you guys care lol

he changed his file names, oh no holy shit guys watch out

>>74777123
why are you so mean

>>74777161
lol no

>>74777107
jacare bows down to him

>>74777112
spergOP is one of the smartest dudes here he has an IQ of 140 i bet only reason i figured him out is becuz ive been thingken bout it four weeks

why cant the people at reddit just stay over there and enjoy their thing instead of coming over here to try and change us into reddit?

>>74777107
In contact with Hiro

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Glad to see I got my (unpaid) job back.

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>>74777161
you obviously don't, you ESL goof

>>74777169

Are you punch drunk or something?

>>74777183
The fact he changed every single filename also adds to his determination to ruse.

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>>74777183
but i'm not spergOP

You're a retard if you think Conor and Floyd are ever fighting.

>>74777215
didnt he have like over 200 webms lmao can you imagine manually changing the name of every single webm in your free time

Really shows how seriously he takes his job

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I worked 16 hours yesterday. Didnt watch any of the fights. Today I took my gf to breakfast. Currently letting my meal settle and then we're gonna go for a hike out on the coast.

>>74777237
There's too much money for it not to happen. The market is demanding it.

>>74777255
be careful what you wish for now i can't filter him easily lol

>>74777255
>for free

>>74777195
do invicta 22

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>>74776990
Hang on. Fight Pass is retarded. Because I'm in the UK I can't get just the Woodley/Thompson fight, it's only available as the entire damn card which I'm not going to grab. This is stupid. Sorry, I'll see what I can do but if this is how Fight Pass is I might not be able to take requests at all

Doesn't help that when I try to stream fight pass to VLC to record the audio just plays and there's no video. Not sure why that happens but if that worked I could have recorded it there.

Bloody hell just had issue after issue trying to do this

>>74777259
Nice blog. I hope she gets mauled by a mountain lion and you freeze up in sheer panic.

>>74777002
I do. The problem is my health isn't perfect as it is and I'm going to need to make 69->62 weight cut if I want to stand a chance.
Talking bjj here. Hopefully my liver won't fall off.

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>>74777275
Here you go

>>74777259
Good for you. Taking her to breakfast after a long day of riding the BBC.

You're such a good guy.

>>74777303
ARCHIVEGOD

>>74777275
its not because you're in the uk. they take a couple of weeks to do it

>>74777303
ARCHIVEGOD

FUCKING SAVAGE

NOBODY IS SAFE

Show me the post where that guy got mad about his calendars.

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>"archivegod"

>>74777002
Why would you want to fight? MMA never makes money and it will be irrelevant once Conor is done

>>74777303
Archivegod h8rs BTFO, how will you nerds EVER recover?

>>74777324
I had a search, I think it is. The fight is up but when I click the link it says its blacked out in the UK.
There's an alternate link just for people in the UK however, which has 209 in its entirety up. It must be to do with BT Sports over here

>>74777367
There will be another Conor. Don't you worry.

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>>74777320
>>74777340
>>74777373
>ARCHIVEGOD

Archivegod saving /heem/ heeming one goof at a time

>>74777389
and your bench press numbers are?

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>>74777303

wow dockie got BTFO there big time

>>74777376
Well now is a better time than ever to subscribe to a VPN service.

Your retarded government is watching you browse 4chinz. Best protect yourself m8

Jack R Ray

>>74777424
rule 14

>>74777398
I wonder what percentage of your posts make up heem at all times

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>>74777344
http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/74552967/#74557610

>>74777384
I'm the next Conor

AMA

>>74777446
Well you are allowed to read behind a proxy, but not allowed to post (for obvious reasons).

They block all exit nodes anyway.

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>>74777344
http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/74552967/#q74557616

>>74776436

>That hug for saving her life

lmfao

>>74777303
All that guy said was "Tyron Woodley" and he sperged out. Maybe he meant to reply to a different post.

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>>74777480
What motivates you ?

>>74777474
>>74777498
whats wrong with him?

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NEW THREAD
>>74777513
>>74777513
>>74777513
NEW THREAD

>>74777367
With WME running it and inserting fighters into stuff as well as McCasuals watching and having OTHER favorite fighters. MMA can only get bigger

>'Jacare' Souza has no problem retiring if he gets tired of waiting for UFC title shot

http://www.mmafighting.com/2017/3/19/14958534/jacare-souza-no-problem-retiringtired-waiting-ufc-title-shot

Does this dumbass actually want a title shot? I can't think of a person who has so stupidly talked himself out of one

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>>74777480
Hi Cody.

Say hello to "Lunchbox" for me.

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>>74777344
http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/74544364/#74551970

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>>74777539
my god how much syrup have you drank

>>74777582
based archiveGOD

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>>74777562

>>74777474
>>74777498
>>74777582
how much do you get paid to look up these posts in the archive

>>74777582
>>74777498
>>74777474
is there anything people here won't make fun of

http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/74763119/#74767845

How the hell did I miss this malfunctioning sperg tantrum? Imagine being such a loser you take your """work"""" on /heem/ so seriously

>>74777662
holy molly thats some flex a ceptism

>>74777662
ArchiveGOD

>>74777662
he completely lost his mind when he got banned for linking his "real thread" to another thread.
>inb4 post a time stamped picture of your daughter

>>74777646
>>74777598
im not even the guy posting other stuff from the archive. its not that hard to look stuff up on the archive. i just searched heem+calendar

>>74777532
Money and fame basically. Being remembered in this world and proving people who doubt me, wrong. I want to be envied by those who hate me and praised by those who love me.

Also I want a lot of money to fund a non-profit shelter for stray/missing dogs.

>>74777562
Not Cody, but I'm 5'9 and walk at 165 lbs. Have a 73.5 inch reach. I feel like bantamweight is too manlet for anyone to care about.

>>74777722
>ArchiveGOD trying to be humble and give credit to others

Based fucking ArchiveGOD

>>74777733
>5'9
we would see eye to eye when i was 14 lmao kid

>>74777722
archiveGOD is /ourguy/

>>74777757
how heavy do you weigh again

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Thoughts on Schurps?

Non sperg thread:
>>74777513

>>74777777
Shitty get tbhwu senpai

this is not going to end well

5'10 220 built like a frozen burrito

>>74777777
W A S T E D

>>74777777
REEEEEE SHIT GET

>>74777777
Terrible get.

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>>74777777
pfffffff what a waste

>>74777777
Garbage get.

>>74777777
fake and gay
>>>/asp/

>>74777777
>>74777777
>>74777777
>>74777777
>>74777777
schaub confirmed god
h8rs btfo

>>74777777
Based

>>74777777
shit get kys

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>>74777777
>7 7's and 1 1
BRAZIW BRAZIW

>>74777777
damn son

>>74777777
SCHAUB CONFIRMED OUR GOD

HAIL SCHAUB

>>74777757
5'9 is god tier

>manlet gains
>acceptable height for women

>all these assblasted cheeto fingered nerds

i'm so happy schaub got that

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>>74777777

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>>74777894

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SAY HIS NAME

>>74777894
Whatever helps you sleep at night.
>5'9
>5
>9

jesus christ might as well be 5'4

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>>74777900

>>74777777
cancer

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>>74777911
All that height but still gets slain

>>74777551
>http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/74763119/#74767431
Romero is way ahead of Jacare, and just look at how UFC squatfucked Yoel. Nobody is getting titleshots

>>74777894
5'9 is an acceptable height for a woman to be with if it's literally her own height

>>74777777
This is a shit get by /heem/ standards, but imagine the people who came just to see what the get was with no idea of Schaub

This is terrible

>>74777777
shit thread
shit get
kys

I like this new /heem/ feel

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>>74777996

>>74778015
yes

>>74777996
It's the sleek new Reebok look

>>74778028
I don't like Cody

And I can't even trash talk him since he fought really well

so "archivegod" is dockie and "swisop" is spergop and they will continue their battle under these new monikers?

>>74778101
All of /heem/ is a stage, And all the men and women merely autists; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts.

>>74777777

who is this guy and why is he so popular all of a sudden? can i get a quick rundown?

>>74778101
idk things were a lot simpler when we mainly had edgestonia and lithman to worry about

>>74778101
archiveGOD is a random anon btfo'ing autists

>>74778101
A battle to rival the greek myths of old

>>74778101
No.

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>>74778149
Glad you asked!

That is Brendan Schaub, the greatest fighter of all time. He dominated the heavyweight division before branching out to conquer the entertainment world as well. He used to be known as "The Hybrid" because he totally encompasses what it means to be a mixed martial artist. Early in his career he relied on his raw athleticism, but he refined his technique as he progressed as a fighter. Some highlights are when he picked up a clean knockout of the legend Mirko Cro Cop and actually landed the first D'Arce choke in heavyweight history on Matt Mitrione. I could go on for days about Schaubs record as a fighter, but I think it really speaks for itself.

I'm sure you've heard of his podcast before, The Fighter and the Kid (http://www.tfatk.com/). TFATK really showcases Brendan's whit and charisma and there is also this little goober named Bryan Callen (the kid). Bryan acts as the foil to Schaub. The show features witty banter and fantastic interviews. Big Brown really creates a relaxed environment and puts his guests at ease. The interviews are like conversations between childhood friends catching up. If you need to find the latest episode, you can always check the top of the iTunes chart ;)

If you want to know anymore feel free to ask. We all love him around here!

>>74778195
Do it. Then there will be no Cody fans

>>74778195
arent u a teenager lol

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how do I achieve this mode?

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>>74778149
his name is Barton Sweppes and he is the best ever at getting knocked unconcious

>>74778205
3 coke boogers a day MINIMUM

>>74778205
15 pancakes a day MINIMUM

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>>74778195
why

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Can abstract ideas be framed by the pure intellect?

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who is the greatest ring girl of all time?

>>74778156
Anybody who "btfo of autists" is certainly autistic.

>>74778101
All I know is that ArchiveGOD is GOD

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>>74778458
my vote goes to sarah dabbs

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>>74777777

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>>74778490
its not even close if you ask me

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>>74778549

Imagine being only 5'9. JUST IMAGINE.

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Why are janitors deleting Archivebro's posts?

>>74778769
why you they apply to do that "job" in the first place? it's not even OK if you're getting paid.

>>74778418
ALL THE STEAKS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Geoubqr254c

how coked is conor here

>>74778769
Mods are jealous h8rs

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this thread is more autistic than tiger schaub, alotta aluminum in those wacky vaccines

>>74778885
how do you pronounce aluminum?

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What /heem/ poster is this?

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>>74778885
Picking on a baby? Really? This is how low you haters will go?

>>74778885
i see a bunch of americans just got sick as fuck from the flu shot lmao

>>74778949
>those boobs

>>74778967
Schaub's baby looks like it's missing half a chromosome.

>>74778967
They're just mad he has two attractive parents and is going to be over 6 feet tall

>>74778939
Al (like the name) you mini uhm

Great thread so far thanks man im really busy much appreciated

You're just an average bloke, /heem/.

215th for Schaub!

>>74779235
go to bed, you need to be at the job centre bright and early

How do you pronounce Adan and his last name again?

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now just imagine this but with Jacare

>>74779306
I need to get a job so I can drop out and move out

Name ONE (1) (I) clean fighter.

>>74779373
CM Punk

>>74779334
Brehn-dehn sh-aub

>>74779358
collect disability instead
working is absolute shit i imagine
fucking waste of time

At this point you would need to have a gun pointed at my head to get me working. I don't want to die at all, but it's been over 30 years of not working unless you count school.

>>74779461
What do you even do?

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>not putting in 40+ hours a week in service to your country and her economy

Up your game, /heem/

>>74779476
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxUATkpMQ8A

>>74779461
What went wrong?

>>74779476
>>74779538
if that didn't make any sense: i don't do anything, that's the point, literally fuck working

>>74779627
So you just get welfare and live off that?

>>74779601
i'm happy everyday and don't use drugs or drink to feel good lmao

>>74779627
where do you get your money to live then, dont tell me you can live on welfare

>>74779663
yeah and family money
obviously i'll get a stupid job when the family dies

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>>74779627
yeah working sucks sometimes but honestly you havnt lived until youve actually accomplished something, gotten some exercise, made some money, and had a cold beer afterwords

>>74779719

i know ur meming but i bet there are some wagies out there that actually talk like this

>>74778769
>Archivebro
Power of autism huh?

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How does this fag and other boxing """"""""""""""""""""FIGHTERS""""""""""""" feel knowing anyone in this thread could take him down and choke him out like gunnar nelson did yesterday?

Why is Triple G ducking Triple B (Based Black Beast)?

>>74780033
H8r b gone!!

>>74779983
plus he was roiding the entire time

>>74780118
I just went through this thread and you're the guy single handedly responsible for shobposting, jacareposting, nuthugging "archivebro", and 99% of the rest of the filth ITT.

You must be a mandrama watching /asp/ie. That's the only explanation.

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STATE YOUR NAME CUZ

>>74780157
there is one specific supersperg that will post like 100+ in one thread on his own, he does it almost every day and when he's really revved up the shitposting becomes rampant

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>>74780190
>trying to be dennis rodman in 2017

Archivebro aka dockslave is destroying /heem/

Only YOU can stop him!

Do not let Archivegod be slandered!!

H8rs repent!!

>>74780206
Probably that one guy who said he is the biggest sperg on heem and says he constantly stirs up shitposting

>>74780350
Yup that's the guy

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>>74780381
>>74780350
Hey it me!

>>74780350
I agree, I agree for sure my man 100%

There are 6-7 spergs that manage to derail and take control of every single thread. They either get everyone to get on their shitposting train or they all just endlessly samefag on their phones and 4chan passes. The moderation is so awful in these threads specifically despite heem being probably the most active "general" on /sp/. Not like it even matters because they all end up evading anyways

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theres an unusual amount of canadian posts in this thread

>>74780533
it has been obvious though, these autists dont even try to hide it

Kinda funny that they spend their free time doing this autism though lmao

What's your P4P top 5 lads

>>74779351
So he switched his workout for Starting Strength?

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>>74780627

>DJ
>JJ
>DC
>McGregor
>Aldo
>Miocic
>Khabib
>Garbrandt
>Joanna
>Woodley

>>74780627
Diakiese
Manuwa
Edwards
DJ
McGregor

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/HEEM/ PREDICTS INVICTA FC 22

Tonya Evinger vs. Yana Kunitskaya
Ayaka Hamasaki vs. Livia Renata Souza
DeAnna Bennett vs. Jodie Esquibel
Jinh Yu Frey vs. Janaisa Morandin
Amber Brown vs. Ashley Cummins

>>74780627
1. J
2. O
3. N
4. E
5. S

>>74774508
Why isn't cage warriors 82 mentioned in the OP? Guarantee more people care about baddy pimblett defending his belt than Invicta

>>74780821
>The Baddy
>Is actually pretty good

Hey guys.

Fuck Jacare and Tyron Woodley.

Bye for now.

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GIBE SUM RESPEC TU BRA
BRA PIYET ES A FUCKING LEYEND OF THIS BARN

>>74780743
>manelt
>steroids and grampa eyepoker
>ok
>ok
>ok
>not really
>can't even make it into the cage
>lol
>LOL
>LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL

>>74780743
that fucking early stoppage

>>74780888
Hey fuck you bitch

>>74780901
Nah

I know something. Don't ask how or why I know it.

/heem/ is going to be voted out of /sp/ next month

>>74780888
Post your top 10 then

>>74780941
I know something. Don't ask how or why I know it.

/your mom/ is not a pure virgin

>>74780627
>Artem Lobov
>Chris Avila
>Teemu Fudge Packalen
>CM Spunk
>Rolles Gracie

Looking forward to the first /Black British/ champion lads

Finally someone to represent me

>>74776243
holy shit that was a late stoppage

TodayInMMANews: Joanna Jedrzejczyk expects to fight Michelle Waterson after UFC 211

Once in human history athlete. - Joe Rogan

This woman can beat you up. Deal with it. - Dana White

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who here remembers ICE, /sp/'s greatest ever tripfag?

pic unrelated, it's my bitch on the left

>>74781086
Nobody cares about wmma

>>74781086
“The thing is, like, I met her (Rose Namajunas) in Denver,” Jedrzejczyk said. “We shake hands, we spoke to each other. And two days after, I heard that she was like, ‘oh, I want to beat Joanna.’ Shut up."

Which fighter definitely browses 4chan?

>>74781144
"I think there is something wrong with Rose's head."

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRtAALgFXHU/

>>74781176
ray borg

>>74781086
Andrade will heem Pooanna

/NAMAJUNAS/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB8JVeGE7t4

>>74781266
she couldn't heem angela overkill hill though

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Why is he so based?

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>>74781242
what makes you think that

>>74781385
Residence Fargo, North Dakota, United States

>>74781444
Is Fargo as comfy as it seems in the TV series?

>>74781511
no it's a city

>>74781385
sometimes I wish I was a fat HW like Tim

Rev up that Fight Pass boys because they just added UFC 208!

>>74781553
He isn't that fat desu, he is in decent shape for a 265lbs HW.

fuck rothwell cheating fuck

>>74781639
you know what I mean, hes not a lean msucular HW like Kongo

>>74781680
kongo is on steroids

>>74781680
Yeah I do. Tim is actually a pretty solid HW, I think he can stay in the top 10/15 for a while and be a good gatekeeper.

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>>74780788
Evinger
Souza
Esquibel
Morandin
Cummins

>>74780584
Just a parang bro

>>74780788
i made the invicta 22 prediction template before i decided to not do them any more if you wanna use it ill post it

>>74781790
get a dog bro

>>74781790
Yeah upload it please.

>>74781639

>he isn't that fat

Are you joking? I'm sure he's in good shape for a dude his size when you look at his cardio and stuff, but he's still a fatass.

>>74781896
>not thanking him for his service

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>>74781879
I got u bro

>>74781926
STILL looks better than my template

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>>74781926
WMMA is the best thing to happen to the UFC since the ferttitas purchased the company. Go back to /pol/

Post your UFC walkout songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiGrRTTPZAE

>>74781976
Darude - Sandstorm

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>>74781879

>>74782001
that looks like a lot of work thanks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xACZHv-sLCg

Which division do you care about least lads?

Me
>Flyweight

Who gives a fuck about 125lb manlets?

>>74782051
but youre a manlet too mohammed

>>74782051
Women's anythingweight

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>>74782051
>Who gives a fuck about 125lb manlets?
Rogan pretends to but nobody actually does

>>74782116
Why are his jalapeños so green but when I order a jalapeño burger at mcdonalds it's a pale green?

>>74782051
light heavyweight