/heem/: iuri alcantara edition

Schaub is the alpha. the omega. the first. the last. the everything. schaub is god's god. he is the best fighter of all time.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn7rIarpQBk what if schaub was one of us?

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4299324/Porn-star-sent-MMA-fighter-ex-topless-pic-attack.html

War Machine is literally innocent

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>thread warz

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>>74594285
can you faggots quit thread warring and point me to the real fucking thread so i can talk about fucking war machine being innocent already faggot

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

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>>74594261
fuck brandon failure

I would have stayed in Canada's thread IF he didn't fuck with the news links

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>>74594302
as a general rule of thumb, the best thread is typically considered the real thread
this is the best thread

>>74594324
there would be no issues with it if he hadn't

>>74594302
>war machine
>innocent
dude is gonna be peeing on his toes for a long time

>(his dad taught him to do that so he doesn't get toe fungus in jail).
Thanks pop!

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>>74594341
HE DIDNT LINK TO THE REAL PREVIOUS THREAD, JON! JON, YOU THINK IM GONNA POST IN A THREAD WITHOUT A LINK TO THE PREVIOUS THREAD, JON? COME ON, JON.

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>>74594345
real solid parenting

>>74594369
is previous thread the GOAT new meme of 2016

who is the best current ufc competitor? weight not a factor

>>74594406
Demetrious Johnson

>>74594406
I told you, mighty house

What's his weakness?

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>>74594406

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>>74594386

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>j-jacare will get a t-title shot

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>>74594254
SpergOP, NOTHING will stump your efforts, janitors will accept what is to come,Canada will submit to these threads,we will all enter voluntarily. Love what you do, have a good night all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLu735ICa30&feature=push-lsb&attr_tag=PjDuyIi7lQQQ5X_o-6

GSP is live

>>74594462

Does DC beat Rumbo again my man?

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>>74594420
good question
he got controlled on the ground for 1 round against Elliott, and he used to have issues with his grappling, so maybe someone will be able to outgrapple him in the future
maybe reis or formiga

the only way I can see someone his own size beating him is being better than him in one particular area and being able to keep the fight contested in that particular area the entire time

>>74594462
This is my low-key favorite meme

>>74594491
You have awful taste 205er

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What's your FOTY so far? Mine has to be Lando-Teymur, I can't think of another fight that has come close to it in 2017.

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Will never post in an adan thread. Even if it was made at 600 posts.

>>74594503
that would be incorrect, UFC 117 was my first event. What was yours?

@74594515

>p-p-please bump my thread

No (you) but a pity bump nonetheless.

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>>74594386
>P-please y'all, buy dis PPV
>Ima let these hands go and finish him
>J-just a step in my journey to be the greatest welterweight of all time

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How will TJ Dillashaw beat Cody Garbrandt?

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>>74594538

He already is the greatest Welterweight of all time.

Let's look at the facts:

>Beat Robbie Lawler (1st round KO, not done since 2004)
>Beat Carlos Condit (2nd round TKO)
>Beat a sneaky karate point fighter twice. (No one had done this yet)
>Beat the current Bellator WW champion
>The so-called greatest WW of all time, GSP, is ducking him to fight a MW who became champ by accident

These are just the facts.

>>74594515
Nash vs Li was pretty good too

>>74594572
decision

War Machine LITERALLY did nothing wrong

edger is boring and is going to get heemed by my boy

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>>74594261
Schaub bless brother. Been out all day. Good looks on the first post.

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>>74594572
>"YOU TAKIN STEROIDS!"

>>74594581
>got tool'd by lellator fighter
>almost lost to fat mexican man

>>74594624

Facts are facts. You can't change reality.

>>74594635
>You can't change reality.
yes you can lol

>>74594624
>almost lost to an overweight and sick Kelvin Gastelum*

is woodley part asian

>>74594624
>>74594652
>a-a-lmost

You goofs are so pathetic.

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>>74594645
Did you ever watch Lando vs Teymur

>spergop serves out his ban
>heem goes back to being awful

>>74594693
honestly I still haven't watched it my man

I still have it PVR'd though

>>74594701
It was a nice 3 days.

>>74594701
War Machine matters

War Machine will be acquitted. He is the 30 something OJ Simpson of the twenty something aspie crowd

>>74594722
>>74594738
no one cares about that roidhead

>>74594701
get over it faggot, we discussing mma now

>>74594751
deez nuts nigga

>>74594749
Shut the fuck up you low income smelly aspie

>>74594738
Are you guys just meming?
So what if she sent him nudes? He still beat the shit out of her, right?

>>74594738
HAH no chance, the modern judicial system is cucked beyond comprehension

>>74594756
cold night at the docks manlet?

[Verse 1: Dr. Dre]
Y'all know me, still the same spergOP, but I been low-key
Hated on by most these autists with no OP
No jobs and no G's, no car and no keys
No GFs, no snowmobiles, and no skis
Mad at me ‘cause I can finally afford
To provide my family with quality heems
Got a crib with a fridge and it's all full of snacks
to eat while I fap to Grasso's buttcrack
and shitposting "buy the ppv please"

>>74594572
I feel like it will look similar to the TJ/Lineker fight honestly. Not that Lineker and Cody are the same, just that TJ will avoid melees, strike from distance, and plant cody's back on the ground when given the opportunity

>>74594792
*portions autism*

*portions you some dip*

What are some War Machine things you do day to day?

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>>74594785
i think he's rustled because of this exchange

>>74591004
>>74591074
>>74591241
>>74591328
>>74591455

>>74594792
who eats and faps at the same time

>>74594868
Buy a goddam slurpee

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Fuck is Olivi getting old lads :/

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>>74594839
yeah, that's the impression I had of the fight as well
garbrandt is probably going to play the pressure fighter like he usually does and try to take the fight into the pocket and box with Dilly, but I think Dilly will keep him at distance with kicks and footwork while mixing in takedowns enough to keep Cody from fully committing to his offense

>>74594885
>#makewomengreatagain
kek

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>>74594885

>>74594765
Yes and it is completely justifiable i really really really think he should write for Bloody Elbow for sure he would get along with the staff there my man 100%

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>Yes and it is completely justifiable

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>>74594919
No she's ripe as a banana.

>>74594920
can TJ pull a Garbrandt against Cody or will he get Almeida'd?

>>74594920
lmao
>white men

>>74594765
if your gf sends you noods and you show up and shes with another guy and you don't kill them both you are a cuckold

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>>74594808

>>74594970
Why?

>>74594959
Kid Nate and War Machine would be great friends

>>74594919
How old is she? She doesn't have childlings does she? Many women catch a "second wind" when they start manufacting kidspawn. This is my EXPERT opinion and if you dare criticise it I will slash you across the chest with my compact wakizashi

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>canada thread btfo again
why does he even keep trying?

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>>74594341
The real thread is the first one as soon as the current one hits the bump limit. I am in favor of better threads but the shit gets too outta hand for subjective judgement calls. Heem is one big collective child craving discipline.

>>74595011
>ban evading from the docks

Why do you do this? Don't be a bully.

>>74594978
WEBM

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>>74594999
good question
also perry vs meek when
it would be a spicy brawl and a good opportunity for both fighters to showcase the best aspects of their games

>>74595011
What are you are thoughts on War Machine

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>>74594999
you're not very bright eh lol
>>74595011
workin till 3 bud?

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>>74595011

>>74595046
Dont care enough about him to form an opinion

>>74594999
fuck'n saved

>>74594999
Trips of truth

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My fucking sides

https://youtu.be/mWfVcBLEbl8?t=13m6s

>>74595071
>>74595126

his vehicle is clearly the pickup with running boards lol

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>>74594254
welcome back based OP

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1. Karolina Kowalkiewicz
2. Alexandra Albu
3. Pre-buzzcut Rose Namajunas
4. Alexa Grasso
5. Valentina Shevchenko
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
SMALL POWER GAP
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
6. Dehydrated Ronda Rousey
7. Claudia Gadelha
8. Bethe Correia
9. Amanda Cooper
10. Alex Chambers
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
LARGE POWER GAP
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
9001. Dehydrated Paige Van Zant
9002. Leslie Smith
9003. Jessica Aguilar
9004. Pre-TRT Cristiane Santos
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
COLOSSAL POWER GAP
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
14,001. Bec Rawlings
14,002. Gabi Garcia

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>>74595291

>>74595312
ugh lol

>>74595312

absolutely disgusting

War Machine

>>74595011
>he is that short
lmao'ing at your life hard

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what went wrong?

>>74595464
She didn't sit on my dick

>>74595464
She took rap music seriously.

>floyd shook about conor already

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2gG-xLEZlM

>>74595464
Cheick Kongo didn't finish what he started.

>>74595535
conor would destroy him

*teeps*

>>74595535

slowly escalating the trash talk..

this fight is gonna actually happen jesus christ

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>>74595291
>1. Karolina Kowalkiewicz
can't agree on this but I appreciate the effort you put into your presentation.
also
>no Jessica Eye

>>74595464
She's too good for her to develop against scrubs, she's not good enough for the top 4

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even dc knows the white boy won

>>74595228
>I used to work on cargo ships travelling between the west coast and taiwan

Are you Filippo or pahjeet?

*heems all black fighters*

Reminder Nick Diaz would win literally every fight against anyone if there was no round limit

>>74595969
>first loss was by TKO

>>74595594
*flows with the momentum of your teep, sliding back to the fence and bouncing off it like a glass of water*

>>74595990
not an argument

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>>74596034
Ebin

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>p-please buy it

What's an MMA media site that isn't shit? MMAFighting used to be my go-to but I had to unsub and unfollow everyone from there. Their constant shoehorning of VOX SJW bullshit has gotten a bit tiresome.

>>74594406
Jon Jones

Can we have a /heem/ meet up in Texas?

>>74596130
I just stick with YouTube channels run by passionate fans nowadays.
Yes, even Hack Slack.

>>74596030
glasses of water dont bounce you moran

Heem

>my eternal boy Fronkie vs some meme kicking Mexican that thinks he's good because he beat a 47 year old BJ

I can't wait for Fronkie to 30-27 him into depression

>>74596408
gain height

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Megan a cute

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Describe this man in 3 words.

>>74596408

you are loved

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>>74596463

T I R A M I S U
I
R
A
M
I
S
U

>>74596463
Pull out merchant

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>>74596463
elite lightweight fighter
very good grappler
generally good guy
first russian champion
first muslim champion
likes eating tiramisu
prone to injuries

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>>74596463
PULL
OUT
MERCHANT

>>74596463
Allah wills it

>>74594414
>>74594420
has lost

>>74596150
hasn't lost

what's uncle frank doing right now?

>>74596463
Ruins my day

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would you rather try to last 45 seconds vs khabib or try to take dat left hand clean on the chin once

>>74595011
What's wrong with you?

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>>74596461
this.

>>74596463

Bad conditioning.

>>74596408
Dude you are so short

>>74596620
Khabib. If we aren't already on the ground, I can pull an Overeem and just outrun him.

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>>74596620
taking one leffan shot would be better than taking 20-30 punches to the head

>>74596381
>vs some meme kicking Mexican

I wish you casuals would stop trash talking my boy.

>>74596664
Please I hope your entire dock gets range banned.

>>74596664
Are you sitting down or is that your regular height?

>>74596620
>45 seconds vs khabib
This.

Doesn't guarantees permanent brain damage.

>>74596664

>from california
>manlet

probably a beaner

am I right?

>>74595669
>she's not good enough for the top 4

>Lost a split decision to #1 contender

>>74596682
Could probably break your arm though

>>74596696
Yeah, but I'll just faint and fall back to keep him away.

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>>74596620
I'd rather get knocked out by the leprechaun guy than being slammed on my head and a tight kimura applied

>>74594254
if bjj was easy

>>74596463
inshallah

>>74596715

probably the sexiest woman ever holy fuck

am I wrong?

>>74596753
Sexiest fighter, definitely. She was the rockhold of wmma

He finna tryna make this nigga submit cuz i see the setup finna happen

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Did he apply this technique correctly /heem/

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So reports are saying Khabib needs 2 months to recover.

That puts him getting back into the Octagon around September with Ramadan and everything. I reckon they'll do Chiesa/Ferguson for the interim belt with the latter winning.

>>74596824
was he permaheemed?

>>74596824

>those strikes after he permaheemed himself

jesus christ

RIP

Mike Tyson is Mike Tyson

No comment.

>>74596840
>Chiesa for the interim belt

Lol nigga what? Is Nate still refusing to man up? They won't do an interim title now. Khabib robbed us of that opportunity. Now when Conor comes back, if he comes back, will get to choose his first defense.

>>74596840
after aldo unifies the 145 he will fight tferg for the real 155 (and win). we might see a resurgence in hueposting

>>74596824
Nope. He's too weak for a body lock take down. Should have went lower and locked his hands under his butt and drove through with it.

>>74596848
>>74596860
I bloody hope not, hate seeing that shit

It was a pretty bad attempt though, probably the worst throw you could even try on concrete

SOMEONE THROW IN THE WHITE FLAG AND SAVE THIS NIGGA

>>74594383
What was he mad about here?

>>74596848
Nobody knows, there's been no follow up info

>>74596862
>They won't do an interim title now.
Tony's ready to go for 210, 211 or probably even 212. Conor is still out with no word on his return. Chiesa has called out Tony and they were actually going to make Khabib/Chiesa when Tony was having contract issues.

I think it'll happen. Don't see Nate really fighting again for a while unless its Conor. He seems to be after the money and Ferg is a hard matchup

>>74594383

ah yes, the ole 'slow tap but I didn't tap !' strategy

>>74596907
>Don't see Nate really fighting again for a while unless its Conor.

That's cause Conor's first defense will be Nate. They won't do an interim title now.

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>>74596824
I remember this webm, I can't watch this shit, dat neck is naaaaaaasty

>>74596907
tony says he doesn't want to fight anyone ranked lower than him anymore. i could see him being willing to just wait half a year for either khabib or conor. i think his line of thinking is that he's in as good a position as he's ever going to be for a title shot. fighting a lower ranked fighter isn't really going to help him, all it's going to do is open him up to the possibility of getting knocked off.

Tony just needs to aggressively start calling out McGregor more than he has

call him a pussy, pressure him to vacate or step up, insult his family

do anything to get mcgregors attention

>>74596923
It all depends on when Conor comes back and by all accounts, it doesn't seem to be anytime soon. Especially if he does somehow fight Mayweather.
210 is in a month, 211 is in two, it's not even that far removed from 209.

>>74596972
>tony says he doesn't want to fight anyone ranked lower than him anymore.
Different scenario when the belt is on the line. The only one above him is Khabib and he didn't exactly sound eager to schedule to fight him again. He's in a good position for a shot, but an interim belt basically solidifies that position and he's already just done a full camp preparing for a fight. I see him as someone who'd take another fight rather than wait desu

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>>74596824
da fuq?

>>74596984
Nothing Tony can say will get to Goobs. He's playing this game harder than anyone else at the moment.
The family stuff might, but it'll also incite the rage of casual fans for being out of line and whatnot and Tony has a family of his own, he wouldn't stoop that low

>>74597031

yeah true

god damnit goobs.

part of me hopes that he will realize the fans want this fight and come out of nowhere and say he's gonna give it to us as a gift

how based would that be

but he probably won't.

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>>74595291
You forgot pic related

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>>74596912
he tapped and then tried to play it off as him smacking the guy's thigh with his forearm

>>74596872
did ryo chonan do a kani basami in this webm
if so, do you feel like that throw is practical in MMA
it seems like the takedown equivalent of a spinning back kick, something unorthodox that would you try to catch your opponent by surprise with

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>>74597104
>>74596912
first reply is meant for >>74596894

>>74597031
yeah he already took that as far as he could by saying something like 'do what you have to do for you family, but come back to fighting when you're ready to be a man again'

>>74597104
this fight was just before the leg break right?

>>74594254
I remember watching this
My stream cut out. One second Sanders is mauling him and the next I see Alcantara celebrating. So annoying.

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>>74597135
yeah man only like 9 years before

>>74597156
im new pls no bully

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>>74597135

WAR MACHINE

is a worthless woman beating juice-head.

Who was totally innocent btw

imagine they got War Machine on TUF Redemption? That would be hella f*ckin epic

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This is what happens to "men" who beat up women.

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>>74597489

>me vs a trump supporter

take that shit outta here

>>74597512
>being this new

>>74597516

I'm old enough to be your daddy. Take your /pol/ shit back to /pol/.

>>74597525
i dont go to /pol/

>>74596666
Nice digits but your boy is a meme. He barely scraped by Caceres tbqh. His knockout of Fili is his only credible win.

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who else pumped for tuf

drama + manlets = memes

>>74597621
>won all 5 rounds
>barely scraped by

???????

>>74597636
>won all 5 rounds
>48-47, 48-47, 49-46 (to caceres)
wew laddie

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>want to get back at your boyfriend because he isn't paying enough attention to you or something retarded
>call over one of your guy friends
>text your boyfriend titty pics to get him riled up
>"come and get it"
>as boyfriend rushes home, get your guy friend to beat you up and make it look as though he's attacking you
>boyfriend arrives home, kicks in the door and nearly kills the man he thought was attacking you
>you run and lock yourself in the bathroom and call your mom, your friends, your coworkers, CNN that you've just become a victim of domestic abuse
>boyfriend gets life in jail
>"heh, that'll show 'em"

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>>74597684
that conniving whore
free war machine now

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>>74597684
now this is the kind of shitposting I can get into

>>74597667
>sherdog warrior

watch the fight goofball

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>>74597756
That's the mother of someone's child. I think you should stop posting this image. Not only is it incredibly unfunny, but you posting it outside of /heem/ is also quite troublesome.

>>74595045
>that heem

Why doesn't this happen more often?

>>74597777
Again, very nice digits but the fight was 48-47. The 49-46 to Caceres made no sense but the other scores were accurate.

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>>74597796
>I think you should stop posting this image.
sorry can't do that bud, this bitch just loves it in the ass what can I say

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>>74597846

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>>74594962
Who did she vote for?

>>74597621
>. He barely scraped by Caceres tbqh

It was a decisive win. The split decision is fake news. I wouldn't give Caceres even 1 round.

>>74597850
Schaub must have had the most pathetic chin in FW history

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>>74598032
Is Stipe is also a master shitposter

Found Adan
>https://youtu.be/hovhnjlmRYU?

>>74594261
great song

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fuck y'all haters

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>>74594581
>Beat the current Bellator WW champion

Woodley has never fought Douglas Lima

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Bitch, you ain't no Barbie, I see you work at Arby's
Number 2, super-sized, hurry up I'm starving

Who'd you rather take a punch from: Conor's left or Woodley's overhand?

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>>74595291
>ABC not in the top 5

>>74598341
Woodley because he'll just stand against the cage for 20 minutes instead of doing anything

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>>74598360

some other anon said she looked like a buffalo wild wings waitress

I kekd so hard

>>74598341
Who would you rather the a punch from: a strong teenager or a grown man

>>74598341
Conor would put you to sleep with just a single jab.

He managed to put Nate on the ground with his guards up. That was fucking impressive.

>>74594606
She kind of look like this chick from my Informatio Systems class.

>>74598390
Pics?

list top 3 fights ever

>>74598436
Do your own honework

>>74598436
Shogun vs Hendo
Edgar/Maynard 3
Liddell/Silva

War MACHINE

>>74598436

gray maynard v frankie edgar 3
robbie lawler v rory mcdonald 2
nick diaz v takanori gomi

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Thoughts on Borgun Skwib?

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>>74598478

Anyone else playing UFC 2 right now?

Every fucking game I'm playing lags like crazy

>>74598486

they should have ported it to PC, I would have bought it

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>>74598417
Heads follow DAT ASS when she walk into class.

I think one of my friends is a schaubposter for sure

How do i safely confront him about this?

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>>74598492
>buying pc games

>>74598510
The only fun to get out of ufc 2 is playing online

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>mfw ufc 211

I can't wait

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>Mfw spent the whole night writing a paper due in 15 minutes and I still have to summarise 15 pages into one single page

TIME TO END THIS SUFFERING

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>>74598508
tell him to stop posting shitty memes

>>74598360
she can sit on my face

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>>74598550

>>74598566
UR CONDITIONING SUCKS

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>>74598566
You take that back, you take that back right now.

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>>74598596

go finish your homework ya goof

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>>74598550
what is it on

>>74598596
>can not even summarise that shit to one page
>espana

why am i not surprised

>>74598550
Am I the only man on /heem/? Seems like rest of you are all college kids.

>>74594420
>What's his weakness?
Sergio Pettis

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>>74598638
You're not my real dad.

>I'm legit almost done
WOOO

>>74598679
Juan Gines de Sepulveda, this dude who advocated for beating the living shit out of Turks and those savages from South American during the 16th century. It's not as boring as it sounds, this dude was wicked smart and I'm suddenly not regretting spending some time studying in Spain, not in a million years would've I learned about him back at home in N-- in my native country.

>>74598680
>The Chile of Europe trying to flex at moi
Bruh.

>>74598703
More like college MAN, baby.

>>74598703
well there's docksperg...

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>>74598717
>If mighty manlet ever loses he will just get an immediate rematch and win
it's a sick world we live in

>>74598751
Why would it be a bad thing for such a dominant champion to get an immediate rematch. Silva got one

>>74598751
>>74598777
the key is to finish him via KO/TKO so his return to the octagon is delayed (difficult at that weight, I realize)

>>74598505
how big's her cock

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>>74596488
>>74596463
t h i s
h
i
s

It's 3:50 AM ET (East coast florida)

How much longer until the early weigh ins?

Good day to everyone. Hope you slept well!

>>74599019

fights are saturday brah

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>>74598368

>>74599019
>

>>74599027
yeah aren't the early weigh ins today

>>74597811
most dont have the power

>>74599059

oh yeah you're right

>the city of my reading comprehension

I have no idea

>>74599072
I made the same mistake

How come most of the posters ITT write as if they're intentionally trying to appear stupid? Is it fashionable to be illiterate?

Is it just an epic meme?

>>74599113

Examples?

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>>74598478

is Bungo Sloob a good fighter?

>>74597104
silva's reach advantage there is HUGE lol

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>>74594515

Do you think it would have gone differently if Lando had actually used the tools he has?

Seemed like he was just looking for a meme highlight reel KO the entire fight. Just looking at Teymur like a potential clip.

>>74597104
this was fixed yea?

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>>74598436
1. Newton versus Sakuraba (warning: GOAT chess match, not for Just Bleeders)
2. Robbie versus Rory (obvious)
3. Aoki versus Nagata (NOT oone of the four arms Aoki has broken, it ends with a brilliant mounted gogoplata)

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How does Whittaker beat Jacare?

Crack a left and move, stay away from the cage?

>>74599217
1-800-head-kick

>>74594962
>>74594919

Her nose bothers me, its a really shit nose

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>>74595291

everyone comes after macedo

>>74596664

how can you be so short?

>>74599217
after hes on his back and jacare has a limb he could pray to god that the alligator has a brain aneurysm

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>>74595291

>14,001. Bec Rawlings

you're literally gay

gunnar is my boy

>>74599380
good boy

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>>74599181
No
I had been going on for like a month before the fight about how Teymur was more a technically skilled striker than Lando and how Lando had defense and cardio issues
Lando may have had more success if he had used a more wrestling-oriented gameplan, but Teymur also proved that his grappling is much better than it was on TUF

>>74599217
read this>>74599273

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>>74595291
1 and 3 are objectively correct

pre-Ronda Meisha-in-her-binkie should be in there too

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>>74599181
>>74599394
I had been talking about it since 2016, actually

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*filenames*

>>74599269
How can you be so stupid? Are you a nigger?

>>74599481
lol calm down

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>>74599481
go to bed, docksperg
oh wait you can't because you're """""working""""" right now

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>>74599481

>>74599495
Lol and you're awake in the middle of the night on 4chan. Fucking LOSER.

*portions tiramisu*

*portions pizza*

*portions blame on the white man*

>>74599596
lol c'mon brudda, step it up!

*portions knockdowns*

*spends most of his prime years recovering from injuries and bitching about title shot*

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Is he the future champ?

>>74599394
>>74599433
>thought cowboy would win

>>74598436
ez
sanchez vs melendez
leben vs sexyama
condit vs lawler