Secrets, vents ...

Third time I have broken up with my ex. We are trying to be friends this time. I hate doing back and forth but I have never loved someone like this.

How do you go from planning a family to being friends with someone you have slept naked with?

>>24783015
you don't

I'm lonely and it's my doing. I've distanced myself from everyone, lost one of the most important people in my life, but at the time it felt necessary I wasn't being fair dragging everyone to the dark place I'm heading and I wanted them to have their own life. Those reasons are still there but I find myself missing them more every day. I really want to try and fix things but that would mean I had done what I done in vain, and it wouldn't be fair to bring anyone back to my prison. I just wish them happiness wherever they are.

>>24783015
DON'T even think about getting back together again.
It's gonna be absolutely hard but it's gonna be better to keep the person out of your life. Be with the one who wants to be with you.

>>24783059
That's fine.
You chose this path and you chose it for a reason. You were are this would happen and you are only going through this at the moment.
This is a tunnel that you are going through. Keep going and things will change for you.

>>24783059
i'm right here waiting for a heartfelt message.

I fell for this girl. She's damn near perfect in my eyes. Cute as fuck, kinda awkward in a good way. Smart as hell, knows what she wants in life. She is the type of girl that I wanna marry.

But she gives of mixed signals.

She seems very enthusiastic about meeting up and doing something. But then when we get close to it, she shys away. Maybe it's her awkwardness acting up? who knows.

I don't know what the deal with her is. Seems like she might actually like me. But she just can't commit to a meet up. Even those she seems so eager and enthusiastic about it. I guess just take it slow until I actually get some sorta response from her.

It's kinda funny. I stupidly accused her of lying to me, and it seems like she still likes me even after that. She just accepted my apology and we continued as normal.

>>24783093
Not a path, more of a corner. I'm not trying to change my circumstance I'm just sitting there with all this fucked up emotions. I'm going crazy.youre right I was aware, which is why I'm throwing my shit here because it is not fair, nobody should be improsioned with me. Especially not those who were good to me.

>>24783172
Do you honestly think anyone deserves to be tied down there with me when I can't offer anything.

There's nothing left in my life for me. I'm really fucked up mentally and physically and it just hurts to live. The only way I get through the day is weed and music. I'm honestly really lonely since me and my gf broke up. We were together for 2 years. Where the hell do I go? What do I do? Everywhere I am, I just feel lost. My house never feels like a home anymore. I started hurting myself again and I'm just searching for a reason not to blow my brains out. It's just so overwhelming and painful.

Kind of in the same situation. I've broken up with my boyfriend 3 times in the past 6 months because he's pissed me off. I cheated on him twice and when I told him I cheated on him he told me he loves me. I definitely am not in love with him, he's broke and he's an x heroin addict. Why do I have this stockolm-syndrome towards him? Why do I keep going back to him?

i masterbated to the girl i fell for because she traumatized me when i was younger

I'm a mentally fucked up adopted girl with PTSD from my biological dad, drunk as fuck at the moment (It'll probably take me like 10 tries to write this post normally) and I'm not sure what to do with my life, should I just sudoku?

I'm engaged but I have a crush on this girl i work with. My fiance lately has just lost all her passion for everything. She used to be energetic and bright and lively. When we met we were in college and she played soccer and danced and rock climbed, all while going to class and getting straight A's and working almost full time. When she graduated, she coach soccer and stayed with her dance crew and rock climbed, and picked up surfing too. There was no slowing her down

Then a few years ago she took a nasty fall while doing some bouldering and gnashed her ankle pretty bad. She needed surgery to fix it up, but it's never quite been the same, and it's completely drained her of her passion for the outdoors and physical activity. Without that, she doesn't have any other hobbies, so she mostly just goes to work then sits around.

But every day i go to work and i interact closely with this other girl. She's just out of college, and she has so many of the qualities that my fiance used to have. She does judo and wrestles. She is the lhighlight of my day. We are pretty close friends after working together for so long, and she's cute and flirty with me, and just generally a great girl. She has all the qualities that i first fell in love with my wife for - this fire and warmth and drive.

I find myself escaping into her arms in daily fantasies. I'm excited to go to work to be around her, and i dread coming home to see my fiance sitting exactly where she was in the morning.

When will this ring in my head be over?

>>24783348
Absolutely not. I was there for a long time too. It is really worth it to seek help. Either from strangers, professionals, or friends. Find a nice guy (or girl) and let them help you. Sudoku is never worth.

I don't truist anyone at this point, especially nice guys

I forced myself to be legitimately alone. Got myself to be forcibly removed from a group of people who I thought I could be friends with. They were really shallow in the end... Then again I haven't had many if any... Any real relations with the people I've met in person, since my basis of me saying I relate to anyone is if they laugh at my jokes, then they were my friends...

But then I let lust take over me... I hate it... Now more than ever... I am here out of desperation seeking someone to distract me from myself and this stupid cycle of autism I cling to.

I feel like a failure academically, I'm in uni and the majority of my successes are last minute and rushed.

I see my friends study tirelessly while I do shit all and we get the same relative grades.

It makes me feel most any success in my life is undeserved and meaningless.

Even at the moment, I've left myself little time to work with and yet I'm sure I can pass while I know other won't and that makes me feel guilty.

It feels like I can't be honest with people about my thoughts and opinions anymore either, so connecting with people is rather difficult. It'd be nice to just have someone I can be honest with.

>>24783380
We all get fucked over every now and then. It's no reason to clump everyone into one group. I feel like I should've said decent guy instead of nice guy. Nice guys are kind of dicks.

>>24783059
I completely get where you're coming from. I used to have a lot of friends. Then things got kind of rough. I was in and out of the psych hospital for a while. They reached out to me but I didn't want to drag them into my misery. I just ignored everyone. It was a bad couple of years but then things gradually started getting better. I keep telling myself to make an effort to get back into contact with everyone. Deep down I know they've all moved on. I know that if I messaged any of them they'd be happy to talk to me but things wouldn't be the same. I feel so, so, guilty for dropping them all so completely. At this point in my life I literally have zero friends. It's lonely to say the least. I'm workin on it though.

This is probably gonna sound super cheesy but it's not too late for you anon. If they are good friends they will want to help you through whatever is going in your life. They care about you. Don't throw them away like I did. Reach out to them. You can definitely still recover and mend those friendships you think you've lost.

I'll write it.

To a person, whom despite being so distant I've become very close to. Like I said, I'm sure this message is of no good, especially after such a period. You know I never lied to you, I was honest about everything, and especially when I said you were a dear friend of mine. I've done what seemed opposite, my actions were interpreted as manipulation, you've hurt me what I've trusted you with, but I'm not here to blame you for your mistakes, I'm here to apologize for mine. Because at the end of the day, we forgive those who matter.
You know the place I hit, and my mistake lies in deciding what's best for you without consulting you. You wanted from me what I cannot give, that doesn't make my words of valuing you as a close friend any less true. I did truly think that by pushing you out, I'd probably give you a chance to try and find your life away from the dark prison I'm in. You understood me as throwing you out. I was miserable, you were too, but it seemed like you had a chance to have what I can't, so I wanted you to try like you once did. I never liked to talk about my feelings, but I posted about them in our hangout not because I wanted attention from anyone, I wanted you to know what you're better off without. Hurting you was hurting me, and I know I hurt you by even existing, I cannot change what I am, but I wanted you to change what you thought of me, or rather replace me so I can stop being that pain to you. After all I know the pain rather well, and you know that.
How I miss what things used to be like, but I don't feel anything can be back the way it was if you weren't there, and I cannot ask you to be there because I'm almost certain it means a step backward from where you are.
My wish remains that you find the happiness you deserve.
With love and sincerity.

>>24783470
First of all thanks for the words Anon.
Why were you at the psych hospital for ? And how are you working on it. How long did you stay away from friends for.

I think it's a little more complicated, I think everyone's gone their way now.

Alright I've posted this on a few boards but it never hurts for more people to see.

I'm an 18 year old dude and I live a good life, but I'm not. In all honesty, I'm pretty miserable. I hate my masculinity. I hate everything about it. I want nothing more than to be an adorable trans girl and be all feminine and what not. But I'm not sure if that's what I truly want or if these feelings are coming from years of sexual deprivation and spending hours and hours on 4chan.
I'm so scared to act on these feelings because I fear that if I transition now, and regret it later in life, I will look like an idiot. But if I don't transition soon, I fear I'll look like disgusting if I decide to in the future.

I don't even want to live at this point. I struggle with constant mental debates and it's all I ever think about. I might have actually let porn get so deeply engrained in my being that it's gotten to the point that I am questioning my gender, the very basis of who I am as a person. That sounds like degeneracy in it's finest to me. I would come out as trans but I don't know if I am, or if I just want to be a girly boy because of all the sissy porn I've watched. I'd come out as gender fluid, but I don't think I'd be taken seriously.

If it weren't for my family, I'd probably kill myself. I wouldn't want to put them through that though. My grandfather is already dying (he's 90 with cancer & pneumonia in hospice) and that's a real blow for my dad. I couldn't let him lose his son as well. My family loves me, that much I know. If I came out as whatever I don't think that would change, it would just be awkward. I couldn't kill myself not because I don't want to die, but because I don't want to hurt them. I wouldn't want to throw their lives off track by ending my own. I'd rather put on a happy face and live a sad life for their sakes. They don't need the emotional struggle of losing the youngest son.

I just don't know what to do /soc/. I wouldn't wish this hell on anyone.

File: IMG_4022.jpg (124KB, 1063x605px) Image search: [Google]

124KB, 1063x605px

I'm pretending to be some jacked up chad on instagram to get pics from my sexy younger sister. Working my way towards nudes. Have already started flirting. Getting closer to sexting too. Pics related. Love fapping to these. Her body is so fucking hot.

I tried to be straight with my relative, but I love guys.
Pls, call me or write me:
Phone Number: +14703635624
Name: Roberto.

>>24783555
No problemo.
I was in the hospital for severe depression and anxiety. There was a series of half-assed suicide attempts that landed me in the psych ward and then the outpatient hospitalization program repeatedly over the course of 2 years. After that I managed to stay out the hospital but still was involved in their daily outpatient program for while. I haven't spoken to any of my friends since 2012 which was when all of that went down.

I try to put myself in situations where making friends is possible. I'm able to leave the house these days so I go to community college part time. I try to talk to classmates, even if it's just small talk or questions about assignments. It's difficult and every day I want to give up but I just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other.

>>24783572
(I attempted to post a reply but I think it got fucked so sorry if there's 2 of these.)
Hang in there.
I completely understand what it's like to be confined to a parent's image of you.
As caring as you are of your parents, you & your needs are just as important. With how miserable you are, there has to be genuineness in your dysphoria. Please take care of yourself first. Everything else will follow. I think it's better if you do hrt & maybe change your mind later, because even if you end up changing your mind, you'd still be pretty & femme. If you don't change your mind, even better. Also, being introduced to being a trans girl through porn doesn't make how you feel less genuine, so don't discredit yourself just because of that.
I'd suggest talking it over slowly with your mom first, as mothers are usually more perceptive & your dad seems to have a lot on him.
Your needs are important & so are you! This anon is looking out for you, go be a beautiful girl, the rest will come through! You're hardly through your life, you have so much to go & there's no use in holding yourself back for the sake of other people.
Do your best!

Fuck you so much, why so you have to be so retarded to send me wrong messages? It's really annoying, I already feel like shit every time you go out and plaster your fucking pictures everywhere. Admit it, you're not my friend, you won't add me in Facebook but you want me to follow every other profile you have. Why the fuck is that? Are you clinically retarded? Well, that's possible since your brother is. Fuck you, i can't wait to get out of here to finally get away from all of you, you're all a bunch of bastards pretending to be my friends for money and favors, I'm done with it. So next time you go anywhere, might as well don't tell me, don't expect me to text you all the time when you obviously have great friends to talk to, be happy about that. Also, I don't give a fuck about what you say, they're bitches and you're being a fucking retard like always.

>>24783717
Thanks, anon. I appreciate the kind words, I really do. When I do talk to someone, it'll be my mom. I know she loves me unconditionally and for that I can't be more thankful. Maybe I'll write a short essay and leave it somewhere for my mom to find. I think that would be the easiest way to come out and tell her how I feel.
I'm glad you're able to see the genuineness of my feelings. It's nice to feel validated. I'm going to go write an essay on my feelings now. thanks again for the kind words.

>>24783822
I'm so proud of you! Good luck!

Honestly I'm a 18 year old girl I've never got on with my parents and I get stuck in a circle of being depressed being okay then getting into a situation getting kicked out ect , I always need someone to love me ..

>>24783397
you might have ADHD.

I was like you and it turned out I had it.

Not the hyper kind, the can't focus kind (but smart enough to do lots of work at the last minute)

>>24783920
Thanks, anon. <3

I don't want a gf because I feel like I need one for myself. I want one so people will stop bugging me with questions about when I'm gonna get with a girl.

I wish people and their expectations of me would just fuck right off.

>>24783367
bitch has depression of some sort possibly, get her to a psychiatrist who isn't a hack

(yes i know this isn't the advice thread but a very similar thing happened to me and my bf dragged me out of it so there is a chance for you both)

Went out with my buddys girl group for first time and got mutual interest in one girl. Talked for a month then went on a date. Date went alright and we smashed but I suck at sex since it had been so long. Chat for another month but don't meet up because she's busy and goes home for break. Meanwhile her texts have had a different feeling. Comes for New Years party and drops that she is seeing another guy. Made no indication that I didn't have a chance or that she didn't want to see me again. Straight played me. Had started to like her.

Doesn't help that I am working a job I hate, living at home which I hate, and have little free time to do things. This was one bright spot that got pulled from me. Lack of motivation since New Years to do anything. This kinda thing happens with every girl. I'm not unattractive, nor am I socially awkward, I just can't finish it into a relationship. What is wrong with me?

>>24783375
By monday. Chill.

my sister one time caught me trying record her naked.. i'm afraid she's gonna tell someone years later

I'm 30 and moved back in with my family so I could quit my horrible job and go to school full-time.

I'm content with that, but it means I can't really date or get laid and I'm going fucking crazy because of it. The worst part is that I'm planning on grad school so I've got like 6 more years of this to deal with. It's absolute torture.

What really sucks, too, is having to turn girls down or watching them lose interest when they find out what my situation is.

I love this girl, but she's fat. Very fat. I'm trying to have her lose weight, and she's getting it done. But I just can't live with myself. I'm torturing her. Every time I see an attractive girl, she gets hurt. She gave me an ultimatum, i told her she was right. We love each other, I know that. But I'm tired, and I can't keep waiting. I'm lost.

>>24785548
I dunno man, that's a hard one.

I tried dating a big girl last year. She was nice, had a cute face, and was really into me, so I figured I might as well give it a shot. I just couldn't get into her sexually though, and she made it pretty clear that she had no intention of losing weight. It really sucked, too, because it was 100% because of her dietary habits, she straight up refused to eat anything that wasn't fast food or pizza, and I think she easily could've lost a lot of weight just by eating healthier.

I still feel bad on breaking it off for physical reasons, but I felt like I was fucking a couch when I was with her and it just killed things for me.

If yours is actually making progress I'd probably stick it out for a bit and see how it goes, but if you really just can't get over wanting to be with other girls (and I can tell you are because you call them "attractive" and not "skinny" or "more attractive" or whatever) then it might be the right call to walk away.

>>24785369
What did she do? This happened to my gf.

I just want a wife and family. My last girlfriend has emotionally ruined me. I do not know what to do anymore. Consider suicide daily. Back out because i hope things will get better but they never do. Lifes been shitty past 4 years. Never got a childhood much either.

>>24785732
she gave my phone back to me and said she knew what i was doing

what happened with ur gf?

>>24786146
She found some camera her brother had rigged up in her bedroom. She is sure it would have captured images of her naked getting out the shower or whatever. Her parents were really angry with him but nothing more came of it. It was several years ago and he's matured a lot.

It's weird to say, but I kind of feel an affinity with the guy if he thinks his sister is hot. I mean I definitely think she is!

Maybe this would work better in r9k but whateves

I don't actually know how to make friends

I was homeschooled until 7th grade, at which point puberty made me be a dick to everyone. Everyone hated me, and I had lots of bullies (though I think it was mostly my fault because I acted like a little faggot)

Move on to high school and it was most of the same. I did have a few people I hung out with, but never outside of school. The one social gathering I went to was I saw the movie Maleficent with my best friend and her friend that was into anime. Other than that I mostly hung out on the bus ride home (which took hour and a half to be sure). I never had anyone over to my house

I am now in my second semester of college and I don't know how to make friends in the normal way. I don't even know what the normal way is. I am going to a local Pathfinder society meetup on Mondays (maybe Thursdays) so that I can at least have an inkling of social interaction.

I am also a diagnosed aspie, please advise

>>24783015
Look, I've been in your situation before, i had an ex we would fight over dumb reasons, and go back and fourth, high school sweet hearts called it off after 4 years and I'm glad I did. You will never forget your first love but true love will burry your first.

>>24786176
what did his parents do? where from btw?

>>24786223
I think they were pretty upset with him but nothing major happened. She was really angry about it but no one has ever mentioned it since apart from her telling me about it.

From Scotland

Did your parents find out? How did you react when you realised you'd been busted? What age were you?

With my girl, she was 16 and he was 13 I think.

What made you do it? Are you attracted to her, like you'd fuck her if you got the chance, or was it just a kind of curiosity thing?

>>24786231
Around the same ages, but my parents never found out. She kept it to herself thankfully.

If I kept trying to do it, then maybe it wouldve been a problem

I'm not attracted to her now. I thought maybe I was back then, but I think it had more to do being curious and young than anything

>>24786251
Interesting, I don't have a sister so can't fully relate, but I was a very horny teenager (still am constantly horny) so might have felt similarly curious if I did.

Did you actually get any images or was it all a fail? I would bet money that my gf's brother still has whatever pics he took of her backed up somewhere, but I have no evidence for that.

I also find myself wondering whether he filmed her masturbating or anything like that.

>>24786259
no evidence. she did get naked in front of me once tho so i have the memory saved haha

>>24786267
>she did get naked in front of me once tho so i have the memory saved haha
Ha, what were the circumstances of that?

>>24783015
Fucking this. A thousand times this. This this this this this this. It fucking kills me. T H I S.

>>24786277

I'm only up to two times myself, I don't think there's a chance for a third anymore

>>24786274
it was pretty random. i was in her room looking for something (i dont even remember what) and she was just getting out of the shower.

when she came into the room, she just dropped her towel and said she had to change.

i was shocked and didnt know how to react so i just left without saying anything

>>24786286
Fuck, that's hot.

I would guess that if this was when she was a teenager with hormones and her body changing she was probably aroused on some level or at least curious about the effect her body would have on you. I wonder if she has an exhibitionist kink these days.

Did the shower thing happen before or after you tried to film her? And when she busted you, was she really upset or was it just "I know what you're doing, now stop"?

>>24786289
that incident was after she caught me.

when she caught me, she came into my bedroom immediately and was still wearing her towel.

she kinda grilled me asking what i was doing and i stammered the whole time but i could she that she was holding back a smile

there was a short period where we were just teasing each other for awhile. it never went farther tho

>>24786295
>i could she that she was holding back a smile
Fuck. It probably made her feel desirable, even if it creeped her out.

I find that hot what you say about her reactions, and it's quite telling that she let you catch a glimpse of her after you had tried to get one and failed. It can't have been an accident or she'd have immediately grabbed the towel and been super embarrassed.

Did you fap to her when you were that age? Did you find yourself wondering what she got up to when she started getting boyfriends?

Hope you don't mind me asking so much about all this. It's the nearest I'll come to quizzing my gf's brother about his motiviations for what he did. Though sounds like he was better at hiding the camera!

>>24786306
it's fine. i like getting it off my chest actually haha.

i fapped to her all the time then.

she only had one boyfriend later, but i do remember her listening in her talking to friend about how she gave her first blowjob.

i got a little jealous

>>24786317
>i do remember her listening in her talking to friend about how she gave her first blowjob.
Wow, that would have given me the hardest boner of all time, you're making me wish I had a sister now.

I love hearing about my gf's sexual history so know a bit about her first blowjob too.

>>24783327
yuck. can you move to a different city for a while?

>>24786197
you go to group shit, then you end up having one on one time with someone, then you end up always saying hi to them when you see them, then you make plans with them, then you start to do regular checkins and plans with them and it becomes a default assumption that you'll be doing stuff together. it's a progression.

My girlfriend's older sister is down to fuck. Should I?

I am unsure of what I can do
I like dead bodies

>>24784383
I'm on a 4chan app on my phone so maybe different id, but same guy with the crush.

I've made the psychologist/psychiastrist argument repeatedly but she refuses. I've told her that the whole accident has changed her entire personality almost but she doesn't want to hear it. I really don't know what to do from here other than to support her as best I can and find some reprieve in fantasies.

>>24786612
post pics and we'll tell you.

>>24786612
What a classy broad. And you're clearly a class act. Why not leave your girl and get with her trashy sister? You faggots can have a great time collecting and trading STDs

No more secrets? I'm in withdrawal

>>24783968
Is there anyone you're able to talk to about it?

Fell in love with a girl from here, at least I think it is love, but I only realised this after I had completely destroyed my ties with her. Worst is that I can't sleep, think or eat because of memories about her. And I am growing to hate her, that emotion I know well and am sure is true however.

My insecurities.

I hate myself so much, I always think I look so different and stupid

I thrive off positive attention, I love feeling like someone likes me, even if its just them being a creep.

I have used guys to get what I want, I play with their emotions for my gains, mostly because I enjoy being drowned in compliments.

I ruin every relationship I have because after a while they get tired of me, and realize how terrible of a person I am.

Add growing up with abuse, and then you have me.

I'm 21, and sometimes I wish I would just die

I'm going to kill myself, but I'm waiting for the right day.

>>24788465
why

>>24788433
Wow I felt like I wrote this myself.
Only difference is that I have a boyfriend of 6 years he kind of know how I am not really. I'm super insecure. I crave and need attention :( even like ifs like you said from some creep it makes me feel good someone at least thinks I'm pretty

Knew/went to school with a guy for most of my life. Dude had his shit together, was dating a 8/10 fit chick through HS, but had a little shrimp dick. I, on the other hand, was kind of a fuck up, but am very well endowed. Me, him, and his gf all go to college together and he started to get real weird. Their relationship started to go south and she started to put on a lot of weight. Turns out she was real thick, but had always stayed in such good shape that you would have never known it outside of some wide hips.

Anyway, the guy started accusing his gf of cheating on him with a bunch of dudes (including me). I stopped hanging out with the guy and they eventually kind of patched things up until the end of the school year, when he cheated on her then flew off the handle when she got mad that he cheated on her. His gf started trying to hang out with me one on one, but I thought this was a pretty bad idea. We did see each other at some parties back home over the summer, but I didn't see much of her otherwise.

The guy hit me up randomly that summer and completely cussed me out because someone saw us together at a party blah, blah, blah, and he knew I had been fucking his gf behind his back. I guess he pulled the same shit on her. His ex/gf threw herself at me and it was the most gratifying sex I've ever had. It turns out she was an absolute freak too. First time she saw my dick (I'm pretty sure she'd only ever been with him) it was like cock shock porn. She went crazy over it, let me lay it on her face/smack her with it, and I ended up blowing a load all over her face and round, sagging, fatty/firm tits. When we fucked she shook and whimpered and begged, constantly praising my dick, while saying some real dirty shit. After that summer, she and her ex got back together and the fun stopped, but it was great while it lasted and it would have never happened if that guy wasn't such a little cock sucker.

>>24788480
Its terrible, I feel so bad about it, I just need too much attention from people, an unreasonable amount, which causes people to go away

>>24788477
I'm alone, in constant pain, going to die eventually, but I can't kill myself early until the signs line up because I believe I'm not supposed to be on this plane of existence, I'm needed on another level.

I have no job, no skill, no friends, no autonomy, so it's not like the world would be any poorer for my absence. I was never meant to be a permanent life here - my disease makes that clear to me.

>>24788501
I feel the same way, I to think I should kill myself sometimes, but in the end, I am to much of a coward to do it.

I hope you find happiness, somewhere

>>24786629
Dont fuck dead bodies dude. Thats all you can do.

>>24788429
Why not contact her?

Here's to hoping I fall in love again before I die.

My teeth are crooked as hell and its affected me my whole life. Kinda scared to even go into an orthodontist for what I'll find out

>>24788906
At least you're still alive

>>24788429
Here's what you're doing wrong Anon:centralizing you're life over the idea of love. Also you don't hate her, that only means you never loved her in the first place. Or it means what you're experiencing is not hate for her but rage for whatever reason that you couldn't have her. But you rather project her as the object of misery because that way you can justiy to yourself that you're misery from lack of any life purposes is the unattainable love which you presume you've given your effort in and you expect a return from someone who did not sign the same deal. Either way good luck, and my advice in this matter is be honest with yourself, makes everything easier to pass! And sorry if My analysis is too brash I'm an enthusiastic psychology student. Have a good evening/day!

>>24789006
Anon different anon here but do you have a Kik? You're so cold I think I like it

>>24789019
I'm no stronger soul than Anon which is why I don't contactfag here but if you need anything I can help with here be sure to ask!

>>24789067
Meh it's cool anon. You're the first anon who's resonated with me in 2 years. Carry on

I usually lurk, but fuck it, im going to dump this here and see what i get..


This is more of a secret to me, But i long to be a girl. the thought of being cutesy, having guys be nice to me, having polite mannerisms and an endearing personality are everything i could ever dream of. but whatever higher power exists decided i was going to be born with a dick. so now, 20 years old. i've formed this awkward personality. I'm vulgar and i have a crude since of humor to fit in, and thats all i ever feel like im doing, just fitting in.as much as i want to be a trap/femboy it feels like its gotten to the point where thats not me, im just pretending to be it, Rather than pretending to be "normal" And now, here i am, 20 years old. I've had a few relationships with girls, every guy I've "been" with has been online. and thats the only place i can really be myself anymore.. online. I feel as if my fantasy, that girl that i oh so long to be is here. Or perhaps maybe I'm still just pretending, and that girl is long dead..

>>24790212
You need to get the fuck ofthe Internet, let some guys meet you as you feel you are, ya know...Be yourself. Don't present yourself as a parody, be yourself it's so much more endearing.

>>24790344
Problem is, i kinda live in texas. Alot of people here are pretty homophobic. Its hard... Trying to be anything else other than what i am now.

>>24790356
Trust baby I know. Deal with yourself, everyone else will catch up. Just don't whore yourself out online.

>>24790212
I kind of understand those feels. I'm somewhere between a crossdresser and a trans, and I'm heavily closeted. (Macho bearded guy on a daily basis and I don't even own women's clothes anymore, much less wear them, though I did back in the day.)

The difference for me is that I'm straight/lesbian depending on how you look at it, and on top of that I'm a dom. Finding women who are into being dominated by dudes in dresses is basically impossible.

I'm also in an annoying situation currently, I know a girl who's in the process of becoming a guy. She's younger and has no idea what my history is and I'm really torn because I empathize and want to talk to her/him and support "them" but I also find her really attractive as a girl and apparently "he" is "gay" and a sub and it's a bit hard not to dream of having some kind of mtf x ftm relationship with them.

I've never truly wanted anyone aside from you.

I was skeptical of the notion myself. It could be vanity: my worth entangled with your hot-and-cold, and when the temperature ceased to dip down, I'd grow bored.

That's not quite right.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you to love me, but I'd settle for merely being a fixture. Either way, I thought I needed to know, though I had no intention of ever leaving your corner; I just couldn't bear the uncertainty of hope.

The absence of you is worse.

It's some test of loyalty to bow to one's wishes when I'm in fundamental disagreement.

I'd happily cut myself open if it'd please you. There's no blood spilled with the path you chose, but it feels as though I'm being buried under a thousand stones and I can't fucking breathe.

Bump dis sheet

I've always wondered how far would I be able to go and always was fascinated about crime, especially murder. Years ago I was close to committing murder just to see how it feels like. I don't have many normal moral standards, I'd be able to kill anyone and probably not feel anything or not feel much.
inb4 edgy

i call myself a lesbian but when i masturbate i think about cock

I have HPV or the herp and I don't know how to ask my parent figures for help. I first noticed it ten years ago when I was twelve. It affects me on a social level. I don't pursue a relationship (which I really want) with women, because I know it's going to affect things down the road. I'm just too autistic (embarrassed) to ask for help.

>>24793020
go to a doctor and ask them to help you. you dont have to tell anyone you know

>>24793049
How am I supposed to explain the bill for "lab tests" that'll show up? I'm going to have to talk to them about it at some point.

>>24793186
tell them its private, or that you had a blood test or something, see if the doctor can help you with something to say

>my secrets

I want a gf who's preferably older and taller than me who will dominate me, but more like in a motherly way, as opposed to a creepy dominatrix way. There would be discipline and punishment, but it would be more in the framework of mommy punishing her bad little boy for being too naughty :3

I'm fucked up...

I almost killed a classmate back in high school but putting poison in that person's lunch meal.

It has been over three months since I graduated with my masters and have moved back into my parent's house. And in that time-frame, I have not applied for a single job. None.

I'm lying to everyone that I'm applying for jobs. My parents, my friends, even a therapist, everyone. All I do day in and day out is browse the internet. I hate myself for how pathetic I am and how I'm a burden on my parents. But I'm so depressed and hate myself so much that I no longer have the motivation to do anything.

I don't want to be me anymore, I wish I was a different person. I don't want to kill myself or die, cause the cost of my funeral would only further burden my parents, and I still fear death somehow. The feeling is like when you're playing an RPG and you realize you fucked up the stats on your character, so you start from the beginning with a new character. I wish I could do that with myself.

>>24790356
Honestly, it seems like there are a lot of trans folk in texas. Seems like most trans cam girls are from California, Florida, and Texas. Move to one of the bigger cities.

>>24790356
Where are you in Texas? What's stopping you from going to Austin and being the girl of your dreams?

I think I don't have an irl boyfriend because a friend of mine keeps telling everyone that I'm her girlfriend, therefore, everyone must think I'm a lesbian. Even some faggot from her classroom told a girl I used to talk to in school that I had a girlfriend, so she probably told every soul she knows that I have one.

What the fuck is wrong with these people? Why do they get by doing this?

I like to think that I'm just ugly and people doesn't like me because I'm also dumb as rock and boring. But this thing is kind of giving me a hope which is that no man approaches me because they think I have a girlfriend.

I want to kill myself, but I won't do it, someone please kill me.

I do things at night so questionable that when i wake up in the morning i rergret so hard
im a boy of age 18 and i crossdress,when i crossdress at night and get carried away,usually send tons of nudes,skype camshows,dirty talk and shit
and i wake up in themorning with so much regret
i end up being a slut without me wanting it fully and i am the cause

A few years ago I fell in love with a trap. I'm talking legit we were in love with each other I quit my job just so I could move to her city to see her more often.

Then one day she killed herself. Saw a gravestone. Crying family members, obituary everything.

I Google her usernames occasionally for comfort and because I'm fucked up. Two days ago I did this after having a nightmare about her and it turns out she's still alive. Jesus Christ /soc/ I can't even fucking process this.

Also my bitch of an ex wife won't leave me alone and I know she lurks here so if you're reading this please Fuck off.

>>24783015
>>24786277
I wish she would date me again. She's too independent and it took her moving out for me to realize that I'm far more dependent than I would like to admit.

32 m virgin los angeles

kik is zsasza

I miss you. I desperately miss you.

I was watching a documentary on iPlayer, when they started talking about the Rocky mountains it felt like someone had smashed a sledgehammer into my chest. I recorded it anyways, maybe we'll watch it together some day.

But I know we won't.

We've both made our respective decisions. And five thousand miles is still five thousand miles.

But I still miss you. And I still love you.

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I fap to my sister constantly. She's so fucking hot. I want to fuck her and make her cum. I've stolen three pairs of jet panties to sniff while I fap to her. Her pussy smells so sweet. Pic related.

>>24796239
story

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>>24796253
More of her. She's so gorgeous and perfect to me.

>>24783508
Sounds like my story ..
That hurts, fellow member.

>>24796256
Not much of a story to tell. I met a girl on the internet, I allowed myself to fall in love with her, I thought she loved me, but time-difference and a super high intensity education programme seperate us, contact that had once been practically continuous faded and became sporadic.

Then, for various reasons, she said 'no I can't love you right now'. The affection that was once there was more or less entirely absent, and that statement more recently got converted to 'we're not going to have a romantic relationship' and so I took my leave.

I am old as fuck. Don't care about that, mentally I am like 20 years younger. (I'm 43, been on 4chan since basically day 1)
I never planned on being alive past 30, I figured my hard/fast life would have me dead or in prison. When I was young I lived to eat as much acid as possible, fuck as many skanky chicks as possible, and ride my skateboard (I still skate once in a while)
I have had depression issues since I was a kid. I used to lay in bed praying for god to let me die in my sleep. I am an atheist now but I am still completely ambivalent about being alive.
I have high blood pressure, and I take meds that fix it. But I never changed my diet, still eat a fuck ton of salt, and I don't care. I am not trying to kill myself, I simply don't care if I die. I would feel bad for my wife, but at the end of the day, if I die I am dead and won't have to see or deal with her grief so whatever.
I ride my motorcycle too fast, not crazy but not safely either, I take a lot of chances, again, if I crash and die, whatever. I just don't want to get crippled and live. I would have to find a way to kill myself if that happened so hopefully I retain use of one arm so I can pull a trigger or eat 5 boxes of sleeping pills (this is if I was crippled in some way)
I feel worthless and now do some pretty self abusive things sexually, there is a guy in my neighborhood (I am a guy as well if that wasn't obvious) who degrades and uses me and when he is smacking me around and treating me like a worthless piece of meat, its the only time I think I feel good. At least I think that is what I am feeling.
Sometimes, like now as I type this out, I do want to die. But don't worry /soc/ I am not going to commit suicide. I will just go on living my life not caring if I die.
I am still completely in love with my one exgf who cheated on me constantly, and was pretty fucked up sexually. This was in HS, she fucked other guys and just did not care if I knew because she knew I wouldn't leave.

>>24796403
samefag here

Because I never planned on being alive past 30, I never paid attention in school (paid enough attention to know "payed" isn't a fucking word, how do grown ass adults fuck that up?)I dropped out to sell acid/skate/fuck like I said above.
Because of that I had no qualifications and when I was 20 I worked like shit so I got fired constantly because what did it matter?
I can basically not support myself between my bi-polar II (oh yeah, forgot to mention that little treat) and my zero qualifications. Luckily my wife makes a lot of money and I try to make it worth her while, but I cheat with that guy who beats/fucks me. I don't want to. But like I said, I feel something that I think is good when I get abused. I unfortunately feel basically nothing any other time in my life.
I have never admitted all this publicly before.

>>24794643
I went through this with an ex who killed herself.

If you saw the grave/funeral all that, she is dead.
Seriously man, its in your head, I had the same thing happening to me. Its your brain still processing it and trying to undo what happened.

I'm a girl that's into scat play. when I was maybe 14 I bought a dildo online with an Amazon Gift Card I got for Christmas. I was a horny experimental kid, so eventually that dildo found its way up my butt. and given that I was a dumb teenager I didn't pay any attention to timing anal play with bowel movements or enemas, i just went for it.

so I slid it in, and it felt incredible. it was euphoric. just as good as vaginal stimulation but in a different way. slid it out and it was COVERED in shit.

well....shit! that put an abrupt end to that play session. clean up was fucking disgusting, and I almost contemplated throwing the thing away. but shit, I wasn't going to get an opportunity to buy a dildo for myself for a while, so I finished the cleaning process.

well this happened like maybe 8 of the first 10 times I used it. so on one particular horny and frustrated day I slip it inside me and then out...and there wasnt a ton of shit on it, so.i said fuck it, I'm not.stopping I don't care.

and so that became the norm. instesd of only using it when it.came out.totally clean, I would.use it if there was only a little shit.

well as you might imagine, things just sort.of progressed from there. I got used to and comfortable encountering more and more. then I had a realization. one day I was totally clean, and there was no shit on the dildo at all. I thought, great! but it dawned on me after a little while that it didn't.feel as good when it was totally clean.

until then, scat was just something to deal with. but after that point I was conscious of how pleasure.enhancing it was for me, so it became sexuallized for me. it wasn't long after that that I started smearing.

I've gone as far as tasting and chewing. honestly, I think you'd all be surprised at what scat from a healthy person tastes like. it's not something I'd eat for fun outside of a sexual context, but it's not as bad as you think. I can guarantee you've taste worse things that are actually meant to be food

I am really into my best friend but I cosider yself hetero. It feels very strange I don't want anyone to notice so I have to wear a mask everytime I am with her so it doesn't feel weird.

This must be the most cliche story ever but still, it is horrible.

>>24788433
>Histrionic personality disorder, the post

I'm cheating on my girlfriend with a 17 year old intern at work.

>>24796679
Also I am both 28 and her boss.

>>24796686
Pics

I have phimosis and I can't have sex because I'm 100% I'm going to be mocked behind my back.

I'm a coward. I try to put on a brave face but I'm as scared as they come. I'm gonna lose my mom soon to cancer. She's all I've ever had. I don't know what to do anymore. I try to stay busy. I do drugs to stay numb. Other various things I'm not proud of. It's hard to keep yourself occupied. My friends are only around when they want or need something. This is why I am a coward. I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm scared of what I might do if I'm alone for too long. This is why I keep my "friends" around. The cycle continues. More drugs,more numbness and more time alone thinking. I know suicide is not an option but every day that passes, it starts to sound better and better. Thank you guys for listening.

>>24796416
But she's written on her blog as recently as 3 days ago. She posts on reddit still.
No matter how many times I go and check it. It's still there.

I've been fucking my tenants daughter regularly for two years now. I have a video of her breaking into my apartment and stealing weed. I threatened to show her mom, and she broke down. I was going to kick them both out but honestly, the mom is nice and makes me Spanish food, and the daughter is a sweet piece of teen ass who is terrified I'll kick them out.
Her mom works nights, so as soon as she comes home from school, she comes over and becomes my plaything. It's pretty awesome actually.

>>24796742
this one really got to me. Stay strong friend. If I was there I would help you.

>>24797117
Her or someone using her account?
Link?

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>>24796529
what the actual fuck

just need to vent a bit

I know we've been strictly platonic friends for like 7 years, but jesus christ i think i'm in love with you. I seriously think about you all the time and it physically pains me whenever we can't hang out for whatever reason. You are the most interesting, cool, attractive, funny, sophisticated, and down to earth girl ever. You make me wish I was a cooler person. I write cryptic songs about you and never record them. Every time I see you is the highlight of my day. I know you don't see me like I see you but when you told me how attractive you thought I was in that note, I wanted to kill myself because I know we'll never be together like that. I know you're moving out of the country eventually. I want to tell you how I feel before that happens, but I probably won't.


god I'm such an enormous faggot

I wish my mind would actually hurry up and become ready for working on a relationship rather than waiting for something to come along like my previous long term one. I actually make myself sick at how introverted and fucking shy I am initially, it really puts people off because I don't make the effort to open up properly and they don't make the effort to pick away at my somewhat indifferent front that I put on. I kind of want to put my contact details here and actually force myself to talk to people in the hopes that someone can deal with how I am as a person.

I can't fucking break up with my gf. We've been going for 3 years and the relationship has ground to a halt. We never have sex, we never do much when we are together and I just don't see us going any further than we have. But I keep chickening out. I've been texting this other girl and we've gotten really close, I think she wants me but there's no way she'll do anything while I have a girlfriend. I'm just going to be stuck with my gf forever and the girl I've been texting will get bored of waiting and move on.

>>24797183

I know it's crazy. some people are different and like different things than you. fuckin nuts

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>>24796529
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

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>>24797383
FRAnCE
R
A
n
C
E

>>24796529
BTW, it's super salty, right?

I like to eat my gfs butthole, and sometimes it's super salty. Just always figured that was the taste of poop. It's not awful, but certainly not something I, myself, enjoy.

>>24797288
Fucking do it, it will be hard and painful but it will be the best thing you'll ever do. I stayed in a dead relationship for years too, but after I managed to bring myself to cut the cord I never looked back.

Do you really want to be with this girl in ten years time? Or does the thought of it make you want to kill yourself?

>>24797288
Don't even do it for the potential loss of future...

Do it out of honor and respect for your gf... if you've been texting with another girl, you've been cheating on your gf and she deserves better than that. Imo if you stay with your current girl you're much less than a man.

>>24797288

Like >>24797419 said do it, my break up was a mutual break up and she stopped talking to me after about 6 months or so, it hurts, but always do what's good for you and what would make you happier.

>>24783323
Try meditation and yoga. A pet might help too.

Well, my friend is in an odd position.

He tried to meet up with a girl twice. She canceled both times and would go dark. He ended up just wishing her a merry xmas, and they ended up talking for a while. Then goes dark again.

Now a week later she contacts him, and seems like she is having a friend write or atleast approve her texts (Due to timing between two messages) and then she asks him to go and get coffee. Which they did..

>>24797403
Not mine. Just kind of bitty. I've never tasted any saltiness. Maybe she's just got a sweaty butt?

I want to talk to this girl but I'm scared she will think I'm weird or a creep. She seems really cool and I don't want to lose a chance to get to know her better and be friends.

>>24797164
Definitely her. Don't want to give out a link because anonymity.

But it was a YouTube video posted a few days ago. Not old. It was definitely her

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My secret

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More of my secret, 5712426902

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My secret is I had a gf. Still do but frequent sex sites to cheat on her. That's why I'm not public about her. 5712426902

>>24798296
He's kinda hot. Nudes?

ive never been in love

I have a gf, that I'm really attracted to and fuck very often, but sometimes, when she's not home, I give a bj to one of her dildos. I sometimes fantasize about sucking dick, but minus the guy. Like it's just the oral aspect I want, not the person. It's just hard/weird to explain.
Also, gf is really not into guy-on-guy so I'm scared to tell her what I've thought about. I'll probably just keep it to myself, not like I want to pursue anything anyways. Although I do wish there was a way to test this out without risk to any STDs (impossible, I know).

>>24797568
How do you know her???

>>24798307
well SOMEONE'S public about 'you'

I self-harm over the stupidest shit because I fundamentally think that if I'm not perfect I deserve to be hurt.

I've only told one friend about this and I don't think they like me anymore.

>>24799051
Maybe convince her to buy a strapon.

>>24799214
I don't want it anywhere near my ass (lol). And besides, I enjoy her female body far more than anything else. It's just that when I'm alone (or maybe just not with her?) I enjoy doing it.

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I have serious self-worth issues. I worry about whether or not I'm mature enough to be independent because I don't want to be a NEET manchild. I basically flunked out of college because of my inability to put my mind to working. I'm trying to work myself into a confident and responsible adult but it's not easy in the slightest when you have depression. I've come here (and browsed numerous dating sites) in hopes that a partner/relationship will give me some reason to be better and help me get out of this bog.

>>24799252
You gotta work on YOU, and try not to rely on someone else to do that or to pull you out OR to motivate you to do so.

I'm not screaming "man up", at you, just know that YOU CAN get yourself to a "good" place, but that yes someone else can motivate you or help get u to a better place. But if you haven't gotten yourself to a "average" level, then you become too reliant on them and not yourself, where the real power comes from.

>>24799252

I'm sorry, Anon, but you can't try to find a reason to live in another person. All you'll find is other people who want to exploit you or people who are trying to do the same thing you are - looking for someone to give their life meaning. But that has to come from inside of you.

Have you ever had a job before? I'm sure you're a lot more capable than you think.

Vent: I talked to a guy on here for a year sent pictures, etc. I Genuinely wanted to be friends but he never wanted to talk about anything unless it was about how he couldn't get any girls or sexting. I started to feel that I liked him but realized he probably didn't care. I told him I was sad about the nature of our "friendship" he gave a half hearted "don't be sad" and when I told him he didn't have to act like he cared he acted offended and hasn't messaged me back. So I'm pretty sure that's over now.

>>24793247
Haha I definitely am not taller but I might be older and this fits my interests perfectly.

So I'm a compulsive liar. I hate myself for it but I just do it and I can't stop myself at first it was part of my depression and shit but then I did it because I liked it and now it's second nature. It has destroyed figuratively every relationship I've ever had either friends or romantic. Sometimes I subconsciously do it when people get to close to torch the relationship and when that doesn't work I'm just mean to people to drive them away. When people offer to help I push them away and blame it on my mental health issues. I want to get better but every time I go to get help I just fake it. Whenever I do work it's last minute shit I throw together that somehow gets me a decent grade I never had to study or work hard to do well in school so it feels like I haven't earned anything. Sometimes I'm gripped with anxiety and paranoia and other times I feel arrogant or invincible. I can't stay in my own head for any reasonable amount of time because I hate what I see. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Iv been with a girl for 8 years. And iv stolen 4 guy's girlfriends one in the process. I didnt even do anything to make them like me so much. But i love the rush

I'm so alone
I work,I go home, stay up on the computer not knowing what to do for hours. I sleep, and wake up for work.
I find myself drifting away from my best friend of 7 years, We bonded over our love of music. We are so similar.
Started smoking occasionally over the summer, friend is getting into psychedelics.I'd like to try some as well, but I realized that I'm not really comfortable opening up with them.

reading lots of hentai manga and browsing for anime tiddies made me get really into loli. At first i was like "no fuckin way do i like actual kids" and while that is true, i noticed a dangerous interest in 3d girls that were like, 13 or so. started searching online for questionable pictures, lots of japanese high school/middle schoolers.
nothing pornographic though, until I
stumbled across a site where i saw a picture of aa girl no older than 8 with probably her dad's dick in her mouth
made me want to puke, kill that guy, felt extreme hatred towards people that make child porn. Glad i never actually saw a video or anything

at this point i don't even look at loli anymore. I'm glad i stopped myself before it became an actual thing.

I left a girl for my current gf, but didn't tell my ex at the time.

Things were messy, about a month after the breakup my ex tried to suck my dick. I told my gf that it was wrong of me to not have set more firm boundaries.

I didn't tell her about all the subtle ways I encouraged her. I didn't tell her that I let my ex suck my fingers. Or that I shoved them into her throat and gagged her with them. Or that I joked with her about fucking her up the ass. Or that I watched her kneel in front of me and grovel at my feet and lick my boot. Or that I let her sleep in my bed and pretended to be half asleep while she ground her ass into my crotch.

I feel awful. Was wrong to both of them. I love my current girl more than I've ever loved anything. I'm more sorry about this than I've ever been of anything.

Thought of it all still makes my dick twitch, though. :/

Sometimes the people and things here are too much, i jist cant comprehend or relate. Sometimes the people are really ugly to me and they get responses like "omg best body ever over 9000/10 kill me with your pussy" and sometimes people have amazing bodies and get repsonses like "nice" or critical shit and i feel like the uglier you are the better you do here. Have 3 nipples? Hot. Have an actual tail? Yum. But have a body thats a 9/10 by medias standards and suddenly you're mediocre here.

This is me !
http://www.sex.com/user/mrmr96/

>>24800806
This is nice. Kik?

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>>24782994
I dont think my family would approve of my gf

>pic related

>>24801373
Undoubtedly.

>>24800402
> stay up on the computer not knowing what to do for hours
Might I suggest porn? It's what I usually do :/

>>24800433
So your current GF knows about what you and your ex did that mentioned here?

If so, I understand the guilt but I hope she's alleviated that and all that's left is for you to forgive yourself. You made a mistake, bad judgement, etc, time to MOVE ON. If you don't her forgiveness won't mean shit and you'll be holding yourself back from any real progress or enjoyment.

Started chatting to this girl online and completely fell for her.. only thing is, I'm married and my wife is pregnant. Online girl knew everything and was cool with it, we'd talk for hours, sexy etc.

Of course because I'm an idiot my wife found out and was pissed, understandably almost left me. Online girl backed off not wanting to be the reason for a broken marriage..

Things are mostly patched up with my wife because she's amazing and I don't deserve her, but I still miss this girl and can't get her out of my head..

>>24801373
At least she will never complain!

>>24799539
Ehh height isn't a big deal. Can you give me a way to contact you? :D

>>24801685
She knows half the story.

>>24801676
I share a room with a roommate, but I usually can fap 2 or 3 times a night.
Usually I search for new music to listen to, or added downloaded stuff to my phone, but haven't had the will or the memory to do so.

i'm in love with one of my best friends and i have no idea if i should/how i would tell her

>>24799333
I currently work at my father's office as an assistant. I mostly make paperwork and letters for his clients. I don't do my job poorly but I feel like I slack off too much. I don't even work full hours. It's probably the best job I could hope for and sometimes I think the only reason I haven't been fired yet is because my dad can't bear to hurt me.

>>24799321
Yeah, sometimes I think I just have an inferiority complex. I was bullied through what amounts to middle school. The kids in my school were dumb hicks who started working when they were around 13 or so. They thought I was immature, spoiled, and overly sensitive. Even if it is just an inferiority complex, it's been so ingrained into my brain to assimilate and ignore my problems that I just... don't care sometimes.

I'm lonely, I feel like nobody will ever be able to love me, and I just don't have the energy to pretend that I'm fine any more.

Not gonna do a huge post. Just my life is shit at 30 and I don't know what to do. Just keep blowing my cash and pretending everything is okay with the distractions. Hang out with Internet strangers to pretend I have friends at nite. And drinking always helps it seems. Whatever. Just fuck this shit

I'm in love with someone that lives in Singapore

>>24801704
I've got a bit of life experience with some of that (i'll be vague for sake of space and public). There is no 'league' there are 'connections'. Maybe your wife is amazing, but what's amazing about her isn't what connects you (drives you) to her. Hard to describe, but it's an internal drive, not a mental check list. I'm saying, this could be less about her being great, and more about you connecting deeper with another person. Which would lead me into the reason why you can't get her out of your head. Either that or the pursuit/naughtiness is more appealing than when you 'have them' (ie: wife).

>>24801862
So makes your dick twitch in a good way?

>>24803124
Romantically? Hell yea, go for it! Just talk to her, one on one, and say you want to tell her how you feel. Don't make it about her reciprocating those feelings, but if she does great, if not, don't let it affect your friendship.

>>24803353
That's rough. Perhaps find something you enjoy or excel at, and focus on that, get even better, connect with others who do it and assimilate into their ranks and find a place for yourself. It's not easy, I KNOW PERSONALLY, but it can be done to some extent, anywhere you are.

these past few months ive been changing. i feel it, other people have noticed it, but heres part of the story.

i was at a party, and a co worker was able to hook up with an older woman at said part, i was in i sex rut and had just gotten into a relationship,but i tried as well to no success. me and the girl i was dating got in a fight and we broke up. this all set my mind alteration in motion. ive had a few "relationships" since then, that have all failed, my job has been treating me like shit for years, and im really at the end of my chain. i feel like no matter how hard i try or work my ass of it never pays off. i feel like the only time people want anything to do with me is when they get something out of it.

long and short, im in a pissed off mood all the time because i get treated like shit, but when i lash out, im the asshole. i dont fucking get it.

>>24794564
You know there are men out there like me that are into bisexual women... even if the rumors are false you still have hope.

>>24783059
What did you do anon

>>24797125
Don't rape charges worry you? Or like...that you're traumatizing someone?

I am four years out of an abusive relationship and just into a new, healthy enough one. But sometimes I want him to get mad and to hit me or look like he's going to. Sometimes I want him to get mad just to hear him say he won't hurt me when I flinch away from him.

>>24797419
>>24797423
I would rather just be alone I think. I've planned what I'm going to say. Hope I get the courage to say it. Thank you for your kind words.
>>24797422
You too, you're right, she does deserve better than my scumbag ass. She is genuinely a nice person and I don't want her out of my life entirely but she just doesn't do anything for me anymore.

I just got out of an abusive relationship ( less than a week ) and I miss him so bad. It took 3 days for me to break and start thinking of ways to get him back. If I could figure out a way to message him without leaving a paper trail I'd just tell him. It doesn't matter anymore. I know how many women he's broken and how many he saw at the same time as me and the things he wants to do to us all. I'll be his once a week fuckdoll if that's what he wants, pictures, drugs, anal, other girls, piss, whatever. I just want to feel like the world isn't a terrible place - and he made me forget it was. I've always liked fantasy over reality. The only thing that's stopping me from messaging him at the moment is the fact that the order I couldn't obey was 'don't talk to me for a month and if you can I'll love you and I'll know we can work out' so I'm hoping if I stay strong and don't message him for a month he'll realise he missess me and my tight pussy and open wallet. There's a party we're both going to and if I dress like sin in a skirt he'll want me instead of his current girl and then I can ask him in person and there won't be any paper trail. If he doesn't ask or saying anything I know my brain will just implode again but this is all I got keeping me strong right now. I keep hoping some of these posts are his were he confesses he's sorry and that he does love me but knows he can't change and purposefully pushed me away.

I'm a hot 24yr old asian girl with a full time job, my own apartment, a car and guys have literally offered me 1k to fuck them.
Instead I'd rather be the non-exclusive drugged up fuckdoll of an overweight, unemployed 36 year old man who lives in share with other unemployed drugged up teens because they pay his rent.

He's...done a fucking number on me the effing sociopath.

>>24804898
You gotta break that line of thought in your own head, anon.
Take you time, trash all the shit that reminds you of the last relationship.

>>24804898
Dude just stay away from that shit. You are better then that shit, go be the sextoy of some hot 20 something guy who has some semblance of a life. Don't let a fatass ruin your bank account and ability to be awesome.

You are currently withdrawing from the what is equivalent to heroin. You have a shit ton of oxytocin release triggers around this fellow and now they are all gone making you a strung out sex/cuddle druggie. Stay strong, find a cat or dog to cuddle at a friends house and throw yourself into something else for awhile.

>>24804953
I trashed it and burned it and then regretted it because I could have put rape charges via deception against this fucker with them. Then I also realised I don't have the stuff in me to do that to him anyways so it doesn't matter. The best I've done is ask him to stop using artwork I provided.

>>24804962
Is it really as bad as heroin?
My Therapist says I have both PTSD and stockholme syndrome and did advise it was similar to hard drug addiction. I swear I wake up shaking some days. I have a cat but the guy always used to call me 'kitten' and I can't even love my cat the same right now. Shit sucks.

Wouldnt have any nudes of your sister would you

>>24782994


>I have a dream where I am in some unfamiliar ruins of sorts, I can't recall the symbols on some of the stones around here, and there is a solid feeling of unease.
>I explore the ruins but there doesn't seem to be any life around, just an empty remains of some old town.
>As I walk around I notice a large wolf like creature, and then suddenly a few more appear, and they spot me.
>They all begin to chase me and I start to run, they slowly start to catch up to me as I leave the ruins, but as they start to get me I am picked up swiftly from my right and carried off into the woods.
>It's another wolf like creature but it looks different from the others and there's no sense of dread anymore, just safety.
>We carry on some conversation that I can't hear for some reason and then he pushes me to the ground, and moves over top me and presents his... manhood to me.
>Without any more thoughts I swallow his... wolfhood? I begin to engage in carnal acts with him, which is where I wake up after a few moments of this.
>I'm never aroused or was it a "wet dream" upon waking up, just very confused and disoriented.
>I am not sure why they happen to be wolf like, as I've never found animals sexually attractive, which just adds to my confusion.

>>24805173
I d like to chat with you if you are up to it.
If not dont be confused sexuality has a wide range just be open minded and enjoy yourself

I just let my girlfriend move in with me, I was happy on my own, I still talk to other girls and she annoys me... God damn.

>>24805482
Ow, man, I feel for you.

Going through the exact same thing with my girl. Only we also have a child. It's a terrible feeling and I really feel for you, man. Honestly: If you can, get out now. Life is fucking short and you deserve to be happy. And to be selfish for a bit. If you've lost hope (and she has) that things will ever get better, you need to leave. It'll hurt like hell, but in the long run it's the only way for you to be happy. Fuck, I feel so bad for you, friend. All the best! P, from Denmark

I have a crush on my cousin.

For a bit of context, I'm a male to female transsexual, and she's a normal girl.

Last Thanksgiving, I had just dyed my hair pink. Most people responded with "oh, that's neat" but she absolutely flipped out about it. Her face completely lit up when she saw it. She then asked if she could play with my hair. She started running her hands through my hair, and told me she was glad I could make it, and that my hair was pretty. She kept telling me over and over that she thought my hair was pretty, and complimented my appearance, a lot. She latter braided my hair, and then after that said she could keep playing with it if I wanted. She then touched my hair more.

Anyways, after all of this, I figured, maybe the attraction was mutual, so just recently I told her that I liked her, and that I thought she might have been attracted to me too. She told me I was misinterpreting things.

I've kinda been excited as fuck about the possibility of this working out, and now that's gone I just feel kinda dead inside and hopeless. Things are kinda awkward with her now, but it isn't as bad as I thought it would be.

>>24783367
>Going through the exact same thing with my girl. Only we also have a child. It's a terrible feeling and I really feel for you, man. Honestly: If you can, get out now. Life is fucking short and you deserve to be happy. And to be selfish for a bit. If you've lost hope (and she has) that things will ever get better, you need to leave. It'll hurt like hell, but in the long run it's the only way for you to be happy. Fuck, I feel so bad for you, friend. All the best! P, from Denmark

>>24786127
Don't kill yourself, dude. Might feel like things never improve, but they will. Trust me - been there! Find something that give you even just a small amount of joy: A hobby, a type of food, travelling somewhere, a nice car. Whatever. And stick it out. Be selfish and just try to enjoy yourself in small doses. Life will be good again. Trust me. And you'll get a wife and family. One day. I've seen this happen a thousand times. And I KNOW that you'll give your kids a better childhood than you had. Make that your purpose in life. Love, P from Denmark

I am 26 and never held a job and am probably just going to kill myself, lel.

As soon as I find out the address of the nigger who tried to kill me 6 years ago I'm going to break into his house and cut his throat.

>>24792247
ynYou and every other "lesbian" I've ever known.

Your biological clock will tick. Option A. housewife. Option B. Cat lady.

My gf keeps telling my penis is fine but deep down I know that my pencil dick is not enough.

>>24806199
Story time.

I hate women.

had access to friend's facebook, hoarded all the naughty pics from convos, fapping furiously to her still up to today, she has no idea

I've been using online dating for the past 4 months since breaking up with my girlfriend. I've been having some success attracting women, gone on dates, and even got laid. However, I feel nothing for most of them. The ones I do feel for either just want to stay friends, or disappear after a few messages. I'm living a pretty "run of the mill" life for a 27 year old. But I kinda sorta want to end my life. I think I'm just really lonely.

>>24783191
I am half tempted to just send her this, so hopefully it just gets some closure

"Hey, I've been holding this in for a while, but I really like you, but I've always been afraid of losing you as a friend as well because I care a lot about our relationship, but I had to get this off my chest, I don't really care if you don't feel the same way, but I'd still like to remain your friend as well if I could."

>>24807258
I think about killing myself too

I have trouble maintaining an erection.

>be me
>29, married few years
>things are OK, but not great
>realized too late that I really want to explore my sexuality
>inb4/faggot, idc
>wife is super against any kind of experimentation with others
>bottom with shemale escorts (safe)
>feels good, but I want more
>don't really have the body or means of being a sissy slut yet, but curious
>met an escort who quickly picked up on my submissive, butt-slut tendencies
>had great session
>as I'm getting ready to leave she says that for $350 her husband can come and the two of them can fuck me for an hour
>beforehand she would apply makeup to me and bring me sexy clothing to wear
>that whole day fantasize about having a hot and humiliating sissy session with them
>now I'm torn, really want to do it but unsure if I should take the plunge

Been a few months now. BP got busted recently, but I think I could still reach her. Still think about her offer occasionally.

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>>24792236
Cool, a sociopath

>>24806574
>>>/r9k/

>>24808404
Yeah, for some reason it's cool to ask "hey gais, I don't feel any emotions, am I a sociopath?lolololo".

Spoilers: turns out they're always autistic.

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>>24799181
Noice keep it up!

My boyfriend only pays attention to me if I'm talking about or doing sexual things. I guess that's all I'm really good for after all. It feels really bad.

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>>24808416
same spectrum of disability

>>24808452
hows about posting some sexual pics right meow?

>>24808452
You're better than that, I promise you. I know where you are, It's not too long ago when I was there with my S.O.

How long have you been together? Do you love him?

>>24808452
Why does it feel bad? You're actually good at something! Someone actually desires you and wants to be around you!

Do you really think relationships don't have their own give-and-take? I take my GF out on the town. Sure, I do that because I love her and want her to feel good, but also so I have good reason to fuck her in the ass later that night.

It seems like you're overthinking things. Your BF is not clingy, values you, and loves sex with you. What other things are you looking for, really?

In a long term relationship that recently went back to being long distance (except weekends) due to partner's job. Trying to keep myself occupied & motivated with school, going to the gym, and new job -which has good pay and excellent benefits. Can't keep my mind from lingering over thoughts of abandonment & unfaithfulness. Part of it is trust issues from past & part from our relationship but I'm trying to move forward & on. So I keep quiet and try to focus on other things but I'm still overwhelmingly fearful at times. Have communicated about it with partner & it's helped, but hasn't resolved itself.

No real point to this, just needed to vent here. Sometimes I've got a grip and other times I feel like a waste.

>>24808786
Are you a dude or a girl?

Look, the thing about cheating is: you either trust your partner or you don't.

Do you have any reason suspect that your partner is not satisfied with your relationship? If not, then why are you stressing yourself out? You're only more likely to drive a wedge between the two of you with your worries.

Finally, imagine your partner does cheat, but they stay safe, you never find out and they still come back to your bed. Would that really change anything?

>>24808824
To be honest, no. Nothing would change if my partner was out being unfaithful and I never knew. Thats the kicker, isn't it?

My choices are to end the relationship, which I have no intention of doing. Or stop worrying about it and be happy with now.

>>24808904
>stop worrying about it and be happy with now
That sounds like the most reasonable approach, IMHO.

If you tell me your gender, I can give you more tips on how to avoid the thought from entering your partner's mind. At the end, you can simply do your best.

>>24808923
Thanks for listening Anon, but I'm gonna sign out now.

>>24805387
My kik is wheezerx

I've been talking to this really nice girl on Skype lately and earlier today all of a sudden a severe and strange bout of melancholy hit me.

I'm not sure if I can convey this but, it came upon me when I had just the thought of thinking about her in I romantic way, not caused by thinking about her romantically, but the possibility that I could think about her that way.

>>24809400
Does she feel the same ?

>>24809412
I don't exactly "feel" that way about her, my point was that I'm distressed that I could.

And if I did "feel" that way I highly doubt it, I'm just another random person she talks to.

>>24809425
Yeah that's what I'm askin, if she at least tries to pretend that she does. Either way If you don't feel that way about her then you've nothing to worry about I guess

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>>24782994
Fuck it why not.

I've been doing so much better now. 2016 was a giant pivotal point in my life.

God damn... So much shit happened that I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with the positives.

Pros: lost 45lbs, started growing out my hair to donate to cancer survivors. Solo'd Backpacked through Alaska. Got stalked by bears and wolves while in Alaska. Got to visit Seattle. Became super best friends to a woman I want to marry. Started gaining muscle. I'm very outdoorsy now and love the wilderness. Left my old start company to my partners. Made a new company, One that develops video games for the xbox. Still in school. Life philosophy completely changed around from work work work, and that money was everything. To, fuck money and work. Life is about happiness, peace and love. Want to get married and have a family.

Cons: got completely burned out and hardcore depression from constant work and body abuse from never sleeping. Gave up on school due to being stuck. I almost gave up on my company and most of my contractors left due to my absence and negligence. Became so depressed I disappeared from friends and family. One of my close colleges friends passed away. A man who I considered a father passed away and his last words to me were, he saw me as a son and he loved me and he was very proud of me (which I see myself as a failure so it hurt to hear that). Started to suffer from personality disorder because I no longer wanted to work or do anything except fuck off on the Internet and sleep(opposite of my personality). The woman that I wanted to marry broke my heart and pushed me away. Causing me to go over the edge to a mental breakdown and depression. Spent my savings and motorcycle money on a random vacation. Went to Alaska because I needed to get away from everything and everyone. Had a serious debate with myself if I wanted to come back. Etc and etc and etc.

Shit just goes on and on. Vow to make this year my pivotal point towards success.

im in love with my best friend.
shes incredible and we both wont deny we both have a bond that we will never have with our other bf/gfs. weve known each other over 10 years and now live long distance. well do anything for each other and we've been there for each other during breakups etc but never got together.
i would marry the fuck out of her and she makes me feel loved but i feel like ill never have her cause i cant tell if she feels the same because she jokes around too much about the topic of "being secretly in love with each other".
ive been through many relationships where my gf tells me just to get with her because were so close, and i now realize its true and thats what i always wanted. im dying cause i talk to her 24/7 and she cant be mine
also im drunk right now and talking to her, sorry for grammar, sentence structure and spottiness

>>24808476
Post implies that the bf only wants sex. Anon clearly wants someone that cares and enjoys talking and doing things together.

>>24808452
Dump him. Gonna be super hard but he dont love you

>>24782994
Male here, female suggestions and advice would be very appreciated.

I've been struggling to find/meet a decent woman who is just as kinky as my ex gf was about a year ago and it's draining me honestly. I'm pretty open to most kinks and fetishes but nothing insane, she moved away and was like the perfect fit for me. We still talk as friends here and there but she's already on another relationship met some guy in college. I've tried about all i could and yet still have no luck, i mean i know I'm not a 10/10 but wouldn't expect it to be this hard. I'm confident, good sense of humor, great to talk with etc. I've tried CL which is all spam, tried tinder which must not be popular where i am because never got any matches with a good profile. Was recommended to try fetlife which i did, spent about 2 months on there with fakes or females aren't interested where I'm from to be submissive. Been on here ever since we split(was on soc early days before relationship) and i try my best to talk/contact the best females on here to see if anything happens or interested giving a chance, nothing though. I have no idea how to find a great subby girl that was as good as my ex, i have no feelings for her anymore but am more just lost on how to find a decent female that fits for me and willing to be mine. And yes, i know going out to bars etc. always is a chance but i live in a shitty area with ALL stuck up/prude females who only are interested with rich men and it's depressing. Any help on finding the right woman I'm looking for?

>>24797217
You might as well.

>>24809790
How much did you reach out on Fet? I'm more of a lurker than an involved user there, but it's seemed to be that being prepared to go to meets is the most effective way to be taken seriously.

>Been on here ever since we split(was on soc early days before relationship) and i try my best to talk/contact the best females on here to see if anything happens or interested giving a chance, nothing though.

Not sure how much hope you should place in /soc/, but I guess the world is full of surprises.

>>24809672
>i cant tell if she feels the same because she jokes around too much about the topic of "being secretly in love with each other"

This may be a speculative leap, but it sounds more like she's testing the waters.

>>24782994

>parents raised me with very high standards
>beat myself up for not being perfect
>Now can't show personal weakness at all

its even hard for me to admit I'm attracted to someone because it feels like admitting I'm vulnerable.

I come to /soc/ to bully normalfags. I hate all of you.

>>24810636
Why anon

>>24801844
I have a Kik but I don't like posting it, I'll message you if you have one though