Beta Male #1881

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>this is just me complaining about being beta
>Be me
>beta male
>18
>i've had 3 relationships
>so i'm not completely loser
>ruined them all by staying at home alone and playing video games
>being ugly doesn't make it better
>lemme go back a year
>17
>lives in Louisiana
>has a good group of friends i love talking to
>suddenly parents say we're moving
>say goodbye to all my friends
>be in Ohio
>no friends.jpg feelsbad
>first year of school here
>sit alone at the lunch table everyday for Junior year
>junior year ends, make friends with some sophomores
>senior year
>sit with sophomores half of the year
>eventually have to change lunch shifts due to classes changing
>aloneagain.png
>talk to about two guy friends for the rest of the senior year
>senior year ends nothing exciting happens
>invite them over when summer comes
>we all play league together until like 5 in the morning
>had a great time
>one of the friends constantly trying to get me to work out with him
>since im skinny beta male rip
>cave in and go once
>literally worst thing i go to
>legs are breaking
>body is dying
>it was PT for marines
>since he's going to be in the marines
>i almost died from heatstroke
>go home
>sit in bed for about 3 days until body feels better
> spend about the next two months doing nothing
>havent prepared for college
>nothing really interests me
>since i have no special skills and im pretty under-average
>look at Air Force since family is AF
>nothing interests me
>tell dad I want to join AF
>underweight
>have to gain about 20 lb to meet minimum
>spend the summer trying to gain weight
>but its really just me saying i have something to do
>im not gaining any weight
>its been 2 months
>friends from Louisiana are always busy and going to college so I can't game with them
>should I just end my life
>nothing going for me
>except having a loving family
>had depression before
>im probably going to die before im 30
>alone
>goodbye.png