Funny Green Text Stories

>wake up
>hate myself
>sleep
>repeat

Mump da bump. I want to see some good ones

Fucking bumping this shit

>Funny
>Green
>Text
>Stories

Your fortune: Outlook good

>be me
>be my
>be run
>be fall
>be scrape ankle
>be bandaid

KEKe

>g
>r
>e
>e
>n

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>be me
>turn on computer
>start up browser
>type in boards.4chan.org/s4s/
>see this thread
>click it
>make this post
pic related it's this thread

>Sign in: 3:16
>post-midday, as time zone states.
>it's just haiku post

>be me
>see green text thread on s4s
>wonder who they are quoting
>ask them who they are quoting

Hey guys who are you quoting

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>>5304314
>be me
>be 2d
>be Japanese
>英語を読むことができる
>面白い冗談を英語で入力できるようにする
>be able to make many friens because of this
fw

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>>5304346
>be me
>see cute japanese 2d girl respond to my post
>get exited
>find out she has many friends
>she probably never was even interested in me
>kill myself
fml

>>5304264
>>5304287
>>5304290
>>5304306
>>5304314
>>5304323
>>5304335
>>5304346
>>5304491
wu r u quotiun?

>>5304502
funny green text stories.txt

>>5304346
>be me
>see a picture of a kawaii neko on my favorite four-chan board, [s4s]
>get erection
>time to fap
>lasts about 2 minutes
>now I have a mess to clean up

>be me 13
>eat a cake
>vomit the cake
>crying to mommy
>wow

>have to poop
>do a poop
>poop smell bad

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>be me
>bee me
>i am a bee
>me and gf have bee sex (she is also bee)
>sting her playfully afterwards
>die

pic related, it's me

** YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY LE PELICAN! ** post this in 3 threads or you will be fucking killed..

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>>5304559
this

؜
>>5304259
ebin

educational lime spelling games

>not sure if b&
>make shitty greentext
>lol.exe

>>5305106
>He doesn't know about 4chan.org/banned/

>>5305115
oh yea lol actually i just forgot cuz im stoopid but hardly ever get banned

>Be 15
>In health class
>Talking about vaginal nerves and birth control
>bored out of my mind
>want attention
>get idea
>empty out my backpack
>place it over my head and leave it there for the rest of class

Why the fuck did I do that

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>be me
>see small cardboard box on side of road
>kick it
>it doesn't move at all
>my toe hurts
>it's filled with a bunch of metal bolts
>log onto niceboard.org/[s4s]
>see very pretty cosplay girl(>>5304346)
>feel better
>tfw love women

>>5305152
Epic!! xD

>>5305174
Not even joking, I actually did that.
It haunts me that everybody I went to high school with knows.

>>5305131
>He hasn't been b& at least 6 times

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>>5305205
>tfw only b& 4 times

>>5305193
Would have been less cringy if you had friends who you were fucking around with, but you didn't did you? I'd kill myself if I were you.

>>5305212
I'd kill myself if I were me too. If I had the courage to, anyway.

>>5305211
I don't even know how many times I've been b&, but I'll try to remember them all now.
At least twice in this board for "porn dumps," once on this board for "grotesque imagery" (loli guro), and another two times on this board for spam (i actually managed to appeal one).
Those are just my s4s bans.
Years ago I used to post on /v/ and I got autobanned for piccolo dick.
I got a double ban on /b/ too but the details of that will not be revealed.
Can't remember anything else but I'm sure I've posted porn on a blue board atleast two other times.

>>5305217
I'm sorry anon I didn't mean it ;_;7
I was just pretending!

>>5305205
>>5305211
Does anyone have that picture of that one anons various bans from /a/? One of the bans was for saying something about how he wanted to cum on nenecchis face and park his nuts in her mouth and another was for replying to someone with
>You suck.
>send.
Seriously one of the funniest thing I've seen on s4s, and I never saved it.

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>>5305234
I really like the screecap of the WTC snacks bans too

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>>5305260

>>5304563
This

Day I lost my virginity
>Be me, 12
>At party
>Uncle gets drunk
>Rapes me

>be me at current age
>recall thing that happened at younger age
>make sandwhich with tomato
>sit in closet for 12 minutes

> be anybody
> put angle brackets before text
> hit send
> text is green

>>5306486
؜>be me
؜>put angle brackets before text
؜>hit post
>text isn't green

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Postan the classic that started it all

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>>5304264
>>5304287
>>5304290
>>5304306
>>5304314
>>5304323
>>5304335
>>5304346
>>5304491
>>5304517
>>5304530
>>5304538
>>5304556
>>5305106
>>5305115
>>5305152
>>5305170
>>5305205
>>5305211
>>5306425
>>5306453
>>5306486
>>5306551
>>5306989
>>5307004
Who are you all quoting???????????

؜>>5307004
؜>he can't regulartext

>be me
>some y.o
>terrible things happens
>go to boards.4chan/r9k/
>greentexts
>asking "what do"
>ppl tell me to kill myself in various ways
>cries
>decides to funpost on [s4s]
>what do ?

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>>5307101
Watch good anime girls

>>5307121
2D women are sure really important

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>>5307138
Yes! yes! very much inportante

>>5306989
classic maymay

>>5304491
>>>/r9k/