Please leave a message after the beep. *beeep*

>>3946871
*stays on phone for 8 seconds of silence, then hangs up*

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*heavy breathing*

hurensohn

>>3946871
*various loud smacking and slurping noises*

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>>3946871
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

kurwa

>>3946889
i knew u were gonna say that xD ',;^)

I am gay
no homo

>>3946871
I WANNA TELL YA I'LL MAKE IT BETTER
BUT THERE'S SOMETHIN THAT I NEEDED TO SAY
WHEN I WAS OUT NO
BABY WE WERE BETTER ALONE

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Making a prank call.

#justwojakthings

AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!

>>3947099
reluctantly checking these digits
>>>/r9k/

I don't believe you got me again!

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

>>3947099
>posting a thumbnail

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>>3947111
>111
s-sorry wrong number

>>3947105
>>>>/r9k/
Why? That's an [s4s] meme.

>>3947112
That's a part of the meme.
Also, who are you quoting?

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>3947166
these digits seem so lonely, being unchecked
let me fix that

>>3946883
go fuck yourself infinitely :^)

*hisss hisssss hisssssss*

YOU GIRLS. SURE SUCK
LARGE FAT PENIS

Hello, Mom? There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while. I've been putting you off because, honestly, I was embarrassed. I didn't want you to have to know the kind of person your son has become. No, don't be alarmed! I'm not taking drugs or living a life of crime. What's happened is that I've slipped into complacency. Somewhere along the line, I stopped seeing life as the treasure it is and began wasting my days. I've let opportunities slip by because they were just too much effort to pursue; I've been too content with my mediocre existence. For some reason, nothing seemed to excite me. Whenever I imagined what success would look like, instead of feeling encouraged to try hard to attain it, I just felt empty; like nothing could ever satisfy me. Over time, I just stopped caring about my life. My lack of ambition, my unwise financial choices, my dropping GPA...none of it mattered to me, because my life didn't mean anything. My life was worthless to me because there's one thing I couldn't do: something that I've always known I had to do, an identity that I had to claim for my own. A desire welling up from the depths of my soul -- The Desire to Post Dank Memes. I know this comes as a shock, and I understand if you need to time process this. Yeah, society kind of looks down on people like me, but this is who I have to be in order to be fulfilled. Ever since I've started browsing dank memes, I've felt happier than I ever remember feeling. My life has meaning again, now that I can pursue my dream. I'm a memester, and I love it. Talk to you later.