self improvement

>>39280261
>This is a thread for robots who are genuinely making efforts to improve their lives and over all happiness.
not possible for me
unfixably ugly and forever alone

I've been at uni for a week now and I feel like I'm getting fatter every day
I'm normally a very thin person
I'd go to the gym but I've never lifted weights or done anything in a gym. Don't know posture and shit either.

>>39280261
Currently 18 years old and went from 90 kilos to about 73 over the past year, got a job at a restaurant which made socializing easier for me and getting my terrible haircut buzzed tomorrow. Afraid the haircut is gonna look weird on me because I really never had anything else than this weird bowlcut ish thing i have now.

>>39280475
Look up Starting Strength or start with basic bodyweight exercices like push-ups, sit ups. Run/jog/walk 30 minutes every other day. Stay active no matter what, start with baby steps

>>39280449
We are not born equal, that is a given, it is within your power to improve. If you improve even a fraction of one percent a day and continue with it, small incremental steps start to build
>>39280475
Read the sticky on /fit/, don't eat carbs a lot, start building muscle

>>39280261
I passed my EMT exams and got my certification. I need to start applying for jobs. I also need to reread the book and keep my skills up and remember the spears. I guess I also need to lose weight. The only job interview I've ever been to was to be a medical scribe and my typing skills were always bad/mediocre also I was really nervous/awkward

>>39280509
>>39280560
Yeah I've looked up starting strength and read the sticky
I don't know if I should make a session with a trainer, just one or two
I don't wanna screw up my joints or back or something

>>39280571
*remember the drug doses

>>39280261
I'm just trying to get good grades at University and live a little healthier

Just physical appearance. Im 5'10" (178 cm) and weigh 135 lbs (63 kg). Eating 4 meals a day so i can hit 70 kg. Also doing bosyweight exercises so i dont get fat.

My mental situation is still shit.

>>39280261
I bought into the Peterson meme but it seems to work. I'm writing the Future authoring but that is daunting and my goals are ridiculous (ie get rid of the internet addiction) but I feel motivated to get better. I started meditating because I want to keep my monkey brain under control. I realized I have an alcohol problem and if I don't deal with that I'll never do decent in the gym.
Also the "clean up your room" thing is funny. It makes you feel better and you always find shit to do and fix. I had to get out of the house to buy lightbulbs. I don't think I would have gotten out if I hadn't. So at least there's that. It's really slow progress and small stuff first but I think that actually works better.

>basically been a fuckhead my whole life
>turn 21 in one month
>want to have a great American adventure and also seek a fortune to give to my parents during that year
>need to get prepared to go but I haven't even decided what the adventure will be
Should I rent a car and just zip around to wherever I fancy? Or should I walk from coast to coast (and what route?)

I want to get better but I just feel totally hopeless and unfixable. :/

I had all these opportunities and I just wasted them and now I'm a 26yo NEET and my only friend lives in a different city and I miss him and I just want to hug him

i've so much debt, i only did 3 years of my 4 year degree.

i'm an alcoholic and i can't even drink the pain away because i live with my parents

>>39280609

135lbs is 61.2kg don't lie u fucking skelle, we are in the same place tho, except I'm not a manlet

(5'11 btw)

>Stopped smoking weed and drink less
>lessened time playing video games by 70%
>started learning spanish again
>I'm reading more
>eating healthier
>started running every other day

It feels good my friends, I hope I can keep this up and finally change my life

>>39280655
If you dont network while you travel it'll just be another way you masturbate. Stay with people who appear successful. Bring a 'carolina nice' set of clothes and frequent areas you can have conversations. Ask older men about their lives. Dont spend it all chasing ass and highs. Drive through the boring shit because it doesnt benefit you to so it any otber way.

>>39280261
>be me 21
>can buy booze legally now
>end up drinking everyday
>quit my job working for my mom as a cashier
>start drinking liquor a lot
>rarely go to my friends house to play vidya anymore
>drinking between half a bottle to a full bottle a day
>become really depressed
>start cutting myself when I get really drunk and shitposting about it a lot
>try to hang myself with a belt
>didn't work well because I tied it around one of those small ass kids closets
>next night try oding on shit in the cabinet
>taking pills realized what im doing
>panic
>lay down to try and sleep it off
>can barely breathe
>twitching like crazy because benadryl
>somehow I pass out
>wake up next day
>stomach hurts feel wierd
>start my daily drinking
>few days later try oding again
>feel sick and just lay in bed for hours
>pass out
>wake up next day
>fuck im alive
>whatever time to drink
>fast foreward through the day
>have to help my sister move
>sure
>help her move her shit into a truck
>after every trip I take a swig of liquor
>pretty drunk
>few hours later shes gone
>shitposting on r9k
>reading shit about mental hospitals
>seems like it might help me meet a gf and get neetbux
>go to living room
>asks dad if I can tell him something
>he turns off the tv and say yeah
>I sit down in the chair
>I can't get the words out
>he asks if I got someone pregnant
>laugh
>asks me to write it down
>I write I wannna kill myself
>regret it the second I hand him the paper
>fug
>he says oh that's not good we'll get you help
>tell him im gonna do it soon
>he says hes taking me to the hospital
>on the way there he says he's glad i told him
>just looking at the ground in disappointment
>get there dad has to talk to the people for me
>talk to the counsler person
cont...

>>39280710
Nice man, I did this 6 years ago and it changed my life forever. Im now in the middle class tax bracket with a fiancee, friends and active hobbies. I still feel the pull to stop trying sometimes. Visiting here and hearing allnof your stories motivates me to keep my head in the game.

>>39280731
Lol you suck at giving advice bro seriously

>>39280774
jesus dude. why didnt you just stop drinking?

>>39280582
Befriend a guy or girls who looks like they know what they're doing. 1/2 of the compound lifts are intuitive, watch a few videos asked someone who looks like they know what they're doing for help. Don't make a session with a trainer 9/10 times it's a scam nothing you can't do yourself and it's way over priced.

>>39280779
Lets hear your wisdom then, cocksucker. I'll wait.

>>39280582
I think it pays to do it. That's what they're there for.

>>39280813
I ask myself this every time I see my morbidly obese, organ failed father. All from vodka.

Any more than two beers a month and I cut myself off.

>>39280774
tell him I want to do a shooting while I am uncontrollably twitching
>regret yet again
don't know why I told him that but maybe he'd forget about it
>fast foreward a few hours
>i get sent to a normal hospital room
>there's a guy on the outside just sitting in a chair watching me
>can't even go to the bathroom without leaving the door open and them watching
>can't sleep at all in that bed
>maybe got 20 minutes of sleep that night
>next day talk to another counsler lady
>im going to the hospital
>get to ride in an ambulance for 3 hours to get there
>get there it's alright and end up stuck there for 3 weeks
>fast foreward a few weeks
>i have to see a doctor/social worker
>meds dont do anything so I dont take them
>social worker asks what I want
>say idk every time
>this goes on for 6 months
>eventually she asks if I want her to keep coming say no and stop going to the doctors
>move out of my dads/grandmas because my grandma is a cunt and go back to my moms house
>mom is a lot nicer and doesn't care if I dont work as long I help watch my brothers and shit
>get a decent amount of money over the next year
>get a ps4 and xbone
>tons of games
>life is good for once
>moms asks if I want to do some small things at the store say sure as long as I dont have to talk to people
>do it for a few weeks
>have money for booze again
>YES
>start drinking daily again but only beer
>like having money for vidya and beer
>check craigslist for jobs
>find a manual labor job
>call them and go over there and talk to them
>i get the job
>sweet
I've been working there for 2 months now. Life is slowly getting better but I know im gonna get heavily depressed again because my life is still empty.
>>39280813
because when I drink a little it makes me feel happy but I always over do it and would end up feeling like shit. drinking is hard to control. I was a neet with nothing to do for 2 years and drinking helped time go by faster

>>39280903
There are some people, when they start drinking they can't stop because it messes with one of their systems, it doesn't just relax inhibitions, once they have alcohol they truly NEED to stay in that alcoholic "high" state. You know you're that guy when you can NEVER have two beers, if you start, you almost always end up completely drunk.

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posting my own fall and now attempted redemption

>finish high school with a handful of "friends"
>really got nothing in common with any of them and actively dislike a few
>start uni course I've got no interest in and begin to withdraw
>rarely responding to texts or Facebook messages, spend more and more time playing video games
>only real contact with the group is when I bump into them for the train to uni
>start missing lectures
>playing video games all day when I'm not at uni never study
>try and take the initiative and organise a night out
>get rejected with the lamest of lame excuses from every single one of them
>clearly a co-ordinated attack
"fuck this"
>delete facebook and take battery out of phone
that was the last time I spoke to any of them since apart from the odd awkward encounter a few years later
>never at uni now only video games all day every day
>still pretend like I'm going to my parents
if they're in the house I'd get the train up and just walk about town for hours or sit in a cafe and shitpost
>this goes on for a full year
no friends, no job, lying to parents every day, no plan other than play more video games and eventually kill myself
(...)

>>39280957
forgot to mention when I was in the hospital I had bad hallucinations of seeing a guy following me and I saw an face in the dark of my room. it might of been because of alcohol withdraw or because I was extremely pissed off

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>looked at girl walking down the hall
>she smiles bigly at me
>smile back for a second then think I'm probably being creepy there's no way she'd actually like an ugly autist like me she's just being nice
>look at the floor and walk away as fast as I can

I was so close

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>>39280998
>inevitably the truth gets out
>made to get a job
>call center
>just makes me feel worse
>8hrs a day getting abuse down the phone
>all colleagues hate me
>sit by my self talking to no-one seething about normies
>drop it after a 2 months
>start going to a program to get under 21's jobs
>literally just sending out my shit cv to two places once a week
>start talking to one of the guys
>only normal human I've had a real conversation with in this time
>talks me into going back to uni
>doing something I actually care about not what what I thought other people wanted me to do
>haven't played a video game since I started
>confidence grows every day
>paranoid about repeating the mistakes of the past I study like a machine
>start getting top marks
>get a shit job at the end of the first year and people there actually like me
>end of second year I've quit the shit job and and started one that's relevant to what I'm studying

This is where I am now, still got no friends but I'm much better at meeting people and getting along off the bat, forcing my self to chat and make eye contact etc. The plan now is to start going to the gym and addressing my /fa/. I still wear cloths from high school that fit me and I cut my own hair after I stopped being able to face the barbers.n

>>39281011
She was just shoeing you congenial light. Its not empty and manipulative, but its not your gateway into happiness either. Stop gaslighting yourself over every little thing.

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>>39280261
I crawled out of the black hole of NEETdom, robothood, and even being stuck in the friendzone.

I only have a minute to post now but I'll check in again in an hour or two.

I'll keep it short. There is a Japanese lady who wrote a couple of books about how people in Japan, and the rest of the world, live miserable lives because their apartments and houses are cluttered and chaotic and depressing. That leads to their way of thinking and their lives being all cluttered and depressed. Her name is Marie Kondo and her method summed up in two words is "spark joy". She changed everything for me.

I'll spare you the details about how to organize your belongings and how to fold your clothes, although that is also important and you should check it out, but essentially her method is all about looking at what you have in your life and only keeping what sparks joy in you. Anything in your life that you hold onto because "just in case" or out of a sense of obligation or guilt, that doesn't immediately fill you with joy, should be gotten rid of. That's the key to happiness.

She talks about material possessions and things you have around the house, which are important, but moreso the principle needs to be applied to non-material concepts like your way of thinking, your hobbies and routine.

What I specifically mean by that is how robots are absolutely addicted with being angry and upset and full of hate and being the victims. Look at this board and how many "X Hate Thread" there are each day. It's the same with identity politics whether you're alt-right or antifa or a smug centrist. That's not making you happy, you're just addicted to the rush of arguing and hating. It's an addiction.

You need to take a step back, look at your self, what you own, what you do, and ask yourself if it makes you happy. Most of what you currently do and own just makes you miserable. Most humans tend to prefer a familiar suffering over the fear of the unknown and change.

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26, unemployed. pussied out of technical interview today, pretty clueless when it comes to algorithms and all those white boarding questions. how can i get better at that style of interviewing, i dont mind not knowing something but being completely clueless about something just makes me feel worthless and i break. any help on getting better?

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>>39280261
>Mum says she'll pay for my gym membership and start buying me healthy snacks if I stick at the healthy lifestyle
>I also had rice with dinner today instead of fries
>I've got job training on Monday too so I can start earning my own money. Pretty /comfy/ job too where I don't have to talk to anyone
>Maybe finally learn to drive

Things are starting to look up for me

>>39281185
just go to the interviews and fail, get feed back and improve. You'll stop caring and that is when you'll get it.

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Been trying to work on myself every day but today I feel like shit again. Nothing has happened yet either I'm still a depressed, out of shape, facially ugly loser. I have a job but I can't tell if that makes my situation better or worse. I only really tried self improvement because the other option was killing myself and death scares me shitless. Don't really know what to accomplish here either, I will always have this ugly shitty face and there are simply too many things to fix

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running six days a week, making decent enough money to pay for myself (albeit still living with my parents, I pay rent tho) just with my art

talking too girls, drinking way less, reading more, feeling better

my teeth are rotting and I can't bring myself to do anything about it. It's not too visible yet and I'm doing everything to limit it (except stop.fucking smoking) until I have enough in saving. Prolly gonna take at least a year tho

Good vibes to all of you guys. we'll make it

>>39280261
Well, I started seeing a therapist. I've only seen him once so far, but I'm going back next week.

He thinks I have a touch of the 'tism. Imagine my surprise.

>>39280697
Yes, you are right. I had my calvulations wrong. I am 63 kg though.

Also, dwpends wherw you live about the whole manlet rhing. Where i live, i am above average (hwight wise)

>>39280609
Keep at it anon, a healthier body makes a healthier mind

>>39281245
I'd recommend setting your self an actually achievable goal. Trying to "not be ugly" or "be fit" are unattainable. look at your job do you like it? if so work towards a promotion or the same job but in a better company. If you hate it work on getting a new one. But don't just say "I'm working at getting a new job" look at what you would actually need to meet these targets, what skills do you need, what qualifications etc and work on that short term.

combining both the short and long term goals will help sustain your motivation as you will actually feel like you are achieving something along the way. And you will gain other things along the way. eg meeting a gym buddy at your new job.

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Finally went to see a therapist and psychiatrist, after dealing with depression for 10+ years. It's a small step, but i hope i can finally press play on my life and actually live it.

>>39280261
>>>/wsg/1785934
>>>/wsg/1785942

/r9k/ needs to watch these

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>tfw lost 20 lb in 6 months
pretty terrible but at least its something

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>>39280261
I've taken a more slow turn at this. I've been talking to more girls and dressing moderately well, I've noticed many girls have been checking me out, probably because I've also stoped eating so much and have lost some weight. And as for the career thing im still pursuing a career in music and I'd say overall everything is going pretty well. And for the first time in a while I can truly say I'm happy.

Also original because I posted this in a thread that died as soon as I posted.

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>>39281122
this is VERY good advice, take a long look my robot friendos

>January, 2017
>Kissless virgin with no gf, who isn't independent from his parents at all

>Now
>Married, more independent, moving in with my wife soon

Best year of my life

>>39281794
Nice going anon. Hope you and your wife live a happy and healthy life.

Not really self improvment, but ive been depressed as fuck these last months.

Last tuesday i was alone with the secretary at our work and she was wearing a low dress and i got boner. Now my libido is nothing but gone so i was hugely suprised and happy when that happened. Never happened me these last two years to get a bonner with mastrubating.

Btw im 25 and maybe the facr that ive started doing some bodyweight exercises helped. Oh and nothing happened with the secretary, obviously

Got into college for sound production and I'm almost at 100 subs

Here's my channel, if anyone can help me get to 100 subs it'd be vastly appreciated!

https://youtu.be/WKX_XF3RFqQ

>>39281794
How did you do it?

>>39281706
How do you deal with feelings of resentment towards girls considering they only seem to care about you after you have stuff together? Then again I don't talk to anyone so no one knows I exist

I herniated my back.
Has anyone ever had it heal.
I bought an inversion table.

>>39281794
>marrying someone after not even dating a few years
L M A O fucking idiot

>>39281245
Working out takes some time but is totally achievable. Not everyone cares about looks though, r9k looks at the worst and conflates it to the entire population like how tumblr calls men rapists. There are real people out there who see appearance as secondary to caring about the person. Are you not one of them?
I suffer the same issue of finding it hard to be productive when I'm unhappy and don't see any happiness in my future. I don't even know what it would look like. I think I've got this weird idea that I don't need friends and that I can be strong enough to be happy and live my life alone, but it's hard to imagine someone being alone and happy, and when you are working on something you are usually alone. Hmm.
>>39281700
This helped me some though, the bird and boat analogy makes sense.

How do you other anons do it? I've had a problem with this for a while. I got discouraged back when I wrestled cause while that was nice, I thought I would die alone and that unhappiness made the pain of practice hard to deal with

>>39282014
It's a crapshoot either way. Lots of people who date for years end up getting divorced or whatever.

I've been going to the gym, attending MMA classes and going to metal festivals. Created a Facebook account to talk with japanese qts, as well. Started going to the Church again as well.

Stop using lube.
Stop watching trap porn.
Start going to gym.
Reward self - Start going to strip club/asian massage.
Start own business.
Feel feels again.

I still dress in the exact same clothes every day and don't cook my own food, but I'm daywalker status now.

>>39282104
>reward self
>give your money to loose women and further degrade a deteriorating personality
:L

>>39282198
there is no difference between a strip club and the cinema, just one is a bit more expensive

>>39281066
Thanks for the story anonyous.

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>>39281909
Well honostly I just kinda started talking to more people in general but I think me and this qt that I've been talking to have really been hitting it off, I think it helps if you go in theyre with a mindset of if it does not work out and we don't connect than ill just be theyre freind. That is how i've been doing it with the girls. Eye contact is important and effective if done right, hell I've practiced the eye contact with some stacys and gave a small smile while doing it and if I knew what to do next I could probably connect with any girl I wanted. And in terms of people in general , treat everyone with the respect you give to yourself , get plenty of sleep, and at the very least act cheerful, the trick is to get them to think you enjoy theyre presance (in my case I've started to actually enjoy it) and act interested in what they say, ask questions , comment on what they say as long as it wouldn't be seen as mean,if you relate to what they're saying make sure they realize like say oh I love doing x, .

Also when making eye contact when you get a warm filling in your stomach don't freak out. I've actually learned to enjoy it. And wear tighter clothing and make healthy choices.

>>39282104
>>39282218
You're still not connecting to people on an emotional or psychological level when you're just substituting one form of porn & beating with another form of porn and beating off.

At least the strippers and asian hookers are probably mostly female, rather than trannies.

>>39282218
Don't buy the popcorn faggot. Hide some gummy worms in your jacket

>>39282292
Thank you based doge

>>39281122
Which order should I read her books in?

>>39282087
How do you talk to the Japanese qts?
I mean I like Asians but if someone told you they dated you cause you're x would you not be disturbed? But I guess attractiveness in general works the same way hmm. I say this cause a friend of mine,found out that his gf was super into black dudes and was disgusted with just being a fetish to her

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>>39282403
Your welcome, I hope this advice helps you freind.

>>39282474

I talk to them in Japanese (using my brazillian-niponic friends as translators, when in need) or in BUROKENU ENGURISHU

>finish uni
>ptsd from years of daily stress and anxiety
>panic attacks everyday
>get addicted to benzos
>no future where I'm not dead in my computer chair foaming at the mouth from ODing

now
>kicked the addiction following a taper then cold turkey for 3 months
>daily exercise
>guitar and music production skills getting passable
>crypto taking me to lamboland
>contractual hospital work lined up
>daily tasks in a notebook getting filled every day

sounds fucking memey but you have to deeply want to change and succeed so you can find a legitimate drive to motivate you out of your shithole

>>39281742
Thanks senpai. It's amazing how something so simple can be so life-changing.

I put a lot of emphasis on the non-material application of her Spark Joy method but it's also just as useful for material possessions.

We are a product of our environment and our environment is a product of us. When we change one, the other also changes. I was never able to focus or be happy when I lived in my shitty room with crap all over the floor and loads of useless things taking up space and acting as reminders of projects I had given up on.

>>39282443
Chronologically. Her first book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up really introduces you to the concepts, her method and how she came around to developing it over the years since she was in kindergarten. It's much more philosophical.

Her second book is more about specific methods and objects, like how to organize a kitchen drawer and so on. It's still useful.

>>39280261
Went from
>depressed
>socially anxious, could barely look at people in the eyes
>stick, 140 lbs at 6'3
>not really good at anything
>a few good friends, obviously no gf
as a teen
to:
>workaholic with a decent career
>200 lbs after years of bulking
>not really anxious in social situations anymore, mostly because of meds
>not really depressed anymore, working all the time leaves very little time for negative thoughts
>live alone, don't talk to anyone outside of work and parents (online or off), but I'm mostly ok with this
at 22

The advice I'd give other robots is to stop trying to fit in and be a normalfag. This is the thing that really killed me when I was younger, and that I still suffer from when I get fooled into hanging out with normals. I just get reminded about what a misfit I am and how ridiculous it is that I'm incapable of forming any kind of bonds with people. Doesn't help when I get teased for having a boring life/not talking/etc. Basically, my advice is to stop trying to force things that obviously weren't meant to work.

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How do you guys do something that isn't 4chan or youtube? When I get off the internet I feel a weird loneliness.

>>39282737
>The advice I'd give other robots is to stop trying to fit in and be a normalfag.

I'd say that aiming to be a cyborg is the best outcome. People like LARPers and juggalos and all that. They have friends and a social life and activities and a culture of their own and there are girls and they date each other - even if they're all borderline autistic or totally autistic.

It beats sitting at home and posting frogs. In college I would walk past the club rooms everyday. There was the Wicca group, the anime group, the LARP group, the board game group, the radio room, etc. I would walk past them and think that they were an embarrassment for laughing so loudly and having blue hair or whatever and then I would go eat lunch by myself while listening to Slipknot.

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>>39280261
Reading all the young robots woes here makes me really feel like shit. They fret about not having a job at 19-21 when I've never had a job that wasn't under the table and I'm turning 25 soon. The only thing I've accomplished so far is an associates degree that means almost nothing. I try to console myself by thinking of those poor FOB immigrants who came with literally nothing and had to start fresh at an older age, or like a prisoner of war that just got released or some shit. Maybe I should create a background for myself like that and use it. How am I supposed to explain such a massive hole of unemployment?

>>39282895
https://youtube.com/watch?v=NPtJt4A7iOA

>>39282919
People get really angry about stolen valor

>>39282919
Well you have a degree. I'm a dropout

>>39282877
I'm old enough that I grew up without the internet.

I'm re-learning how to play the piano and music theory. During the summer, and whenever I can during spring and fall, I love going on long bike rides for hours. I also going on night walks.

I also used to do like edgy artsy collages by cutting out pictures and words from magazines and newspapers & re-pasting them so that there was an edgy social message behind it.

Find something creative. my older brother used to build those plastic models of tanks and war planes and shit.... although I suspect he was more into the fumes from the glue and paint.

>>39282877
you gotta eat that void. it took me a long time to realize I was just using 4chan and shit to fill in an emptiness, like yeah that's a no-brainer but I could feel how badly I've always relied on escapism when i'd choose to like, meditate on my balcony vs. shitposting on 4chan, and I just said to myself, wow I've been pretty much running away from having to sit on my porch or w/e like an old man and feeling like a loser, I need to fill my time with something better because 10+ years of this shit hasn't gotten me anywhere

you gotta fill that emptiness or it'll fill you

>>39282956
yeah that mash-up is pretty funny

That's a bit past my time 2bh, for me peak Slipknot was Vol 3 and it was downhill from there. PEOPLE = SHIT from Iowa was peak teen/early twenties edgy angst.

Going to make my first attempt to actually hang out with my friends, I'll have to ask them for rides or find a reliable bus route. I'm allowed to drive alone in 9 months. Do NOT procrastinate getting your liscense as much as I did, it will bite you in the ass hard.

>>39283021
Going to have to disagree with you there. The first album is by far the best and every subsequent album is a little worse than the last. Being an edge overload is what makes slipknot good.

>>39283049
>I'm allowed to drive alone in 9 months
or you could not live in a shithole and pass the drivers test and be able to drive alone right away

>>39282329
I mean yeah smoking cigarettes is better than heroin doesn't mean I should do cigarettes instead of heroin

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>>39280261
well since nothing matters i tried to go out with someone bowling and im traveling next week to see music live, also ive worked recently and realized that social stuff goes through alcoholism so im drinking tonight..
im climbing up slowly and plan to move away from this city

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>>39282987
>>39282989
>you gotta fill that emptiness or it will fill you

Thanks guys. Gonna do some dishes and read now

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>1/2

I used to be bullied as a kid because I was socially retarded, but I got good grades cuz I was gifted for logic and math. I used to be a really curious but friendless child, often accompanied only by my own imagination and inanimate things around me.

Then in high school, I got sick and tired of being a friendless loser virgin. I switched towns and used the opportunity to build a new life for me; I started going out more, drinking alcohol to loosen me up, lifting weights, reading psychology and PUA books and all that jazz. I really believed that I could make a difference and finally become a normal person with a normal life. I eventually even managed to get a couple of dates, but could never hold a girl's interest for more than a week. Probably because I was too depressed to actually care about anyone, even if I tried so hard to prove myself otherwise.

Eventually, pretending to be a normie for long enough started to backfire, so instead of being surrounded by friends and girls, I found myself more and more in the drug scene, smoking weed almost daily and taking speed and mdma on underground trance parties. I was obsessed about heroin. Everything about that drug fascinated me, I wanted to try it so hard that everyone thought I was gonna become an addict in a year or so. Speed went to my head first, I started losing my mind and driving most of the people away from me. After all that time, I started being alone again, but this time not because nobody knew me but because everyone hated me.
(cont.)

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>2/2

Eventually depression crushed me, so I went to shrink to get therapy and happy-pills, and things started to seem better. I was more calm, I didn't feel existential crisis as often, I started enjoying the sunshine during the day, I didn't even need weed. I was just happy the way things were. Then dad found my happy-pills and thought I was an addict and kicked me out of the house (while I was still in fourth grade). I lived on a street for two weeks, doing classmates' homework for food and money, when grandma accidentally found me walking around the town and brought me to her house to live with her.

I managed to finish high school with good grades, and got into the science faculty, studying Theoretical Computer Science, and now I'm one of the best of my class, and ever since I got isolated from people, I started loving mathematics again. Now all I do is study at home and shitpost on /r9k/, /g/ and /sci/. I do feel the consequences of my degenerate life, as I'm still unhappy and more anxious than ever about everything, but life is way better than it was when I was doing drugs. I'm studying real analysis right now and I'm hoping to ace that last exam that I have left.


Reading all this shit I wrote, I can't help but feel a little bit proud about myself.
Sorry for the reddit spacing guys. I love you all.

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>>39280261
Nothing I do brings me any happiness or sense of accomplishment. I keep forcing myself to do things I think I'll enjoy and it does nothing for me. I went to the skatepark alone this morning to exercise for once and now I have a heat rash all over my body and I had no fun. When you have no one, you are no one. How do lonely people enjoy life?

>>39283452
>>39283427
You have similar story to mine. Fuck drugs man! Now you can start living life again.

I've been running 3.5 miles for the past three days, plan to do it after class tonight because ive heard if u exercise u sleep less

>>39283551
What's your story anon?

Pls share

>>39281010
Bruh, you sure you don't have schizophrenia or some shit?

>>39283452
>>39283427
>fourth grade
>the fourth grade is the fifth school year of elementary school. Students are usually 9-10 years old
sorry what, you were smoking weed 24/7 and out your nut on speed at raves in when you were <10

>>39280261
You guys need to stop being bitter about women. Unless you are literally deformed, you can find some girl, they care more about you as a person than how handsome you are.

>>39283696
Fourth grade of high school. I was 18 at the time.

>>39281122
Lmao are you talking about the konmari technique? Most people treat it like a cleaning method

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>>39280261
>tfw walked 6 times around neighborhood today because I wanted to get some physical activity
It felt ok, there was no one really out there, so no one was really looking or watching me.

>>39283686
the doctor said it was looking like I did but he wouldn't know until I took the meds for a few months and see I react to them but I don't wanna take them at all.

>>39283715
i dont think the women at my area have sex drive at all

I've been trying to go to work with a positive attitude so that I'm not so drained by it. I've also been setting aside time every day to work on art. I'm trying to start up a swimming regimen, but I missed out this week... But I'll try again next week!

I hope I can keep this going.

>>39283764
Hey, I also go for a walk almost everyday and I enjoy it more then going to the gym even though I should be hitting the gym because I am fat I just like to walk and think about stuff.

>>39283568
It's pretty much the same as yours Anon except everything was kind of happening after I dropped out of college. On and off heroin and meth use for 4 years. What made me get clean was surprisingly another drug, acid. It made me realize I'm wasting my youth on shit and on people that are not helping me. I realizeed The (friends) I thought I had hold the nastiest grudges ever towards me. My family was right about them the whole time. It's a shame I didn't listen to them sooner. But I'm clean, getting /fit/, eating healthy, it just feels good to finally cut off people that you felt were always holding you back.

Thanks for sharing your story Anon. You give me even more motivation to keep on going.

>>39280261
I've finally gotten over the realization that I basically wasted my time in college and I'm just gonna find work somewhere for now.

It's just the fact that barely anyone's hiring... but I recently got a possible interview for a security company. A friend recommended me to someone in the company so maybe I have a better chance? I do hope so.

I got a membership to a tanning salon and have been getting to a normal skin color. I know this is unhealthy and vain, but I've been albino white for over a decade now and it's a major source of insecurity. I just want to be normal colored and I'm close now already.

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>>39283850
nice.
I prefer nightwalks though, it's even better since there is almost no one outside at night in the first place, and the air is cooler.

>>39282329
>You)
Have you tried "emotionally connecting" to strippers?...

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>20 years old
>NEET, never had a real job
>have no skills
>dropped out of college twice within a few months
>now in debt and have parents threatening to kick me out

I need money but would rather die than wageslave.

My advice to /r9k/ is to bee healthy. A good diet, regular exercise, some time in the sun and a normal sleep pattern can do wonders. Most westerners abuse at least a few of their fundamental human needs.

>>39283871
Why did they hate you?

>>39283759
That's exactly right. There is a spiritual element to her method though, rooted in Japanese Shinto. Once you clean your house or apartment or bedroom, you can clean the rest of your life using the same method.

>>39283764
>>39283901

I also walk a lot. I have my day time walking music and night time walking music. It's also nice sometimes to not have any music at all and just take in the sounds of summer.

I also kind of like biking, how I can cover like up to 10 times the distance in the same time I walk. I don't like the hassle of having to deal with cars on the road and people who walk on bike paths and all that, it is comfy at night though.

I'm not exceptionally fat but I am totally out of shape and unhealthy. I tried jogging and my meme app on my phone said that I should start with 6 minutes. I couldn't last one minute. After 30 seconds I was cramping all over and sucking wind.


I did lose weight though, coupled with my diet. At the start of the year I weighed 230 and now I'm down to 207.

>>39280261

I was really depressed and suicidal, only didn't kill myself because my father already died and I didn't want to hurt my mom.
>be me 18
>leave school
>always had few friends
>started kickboxing at 17 which helped a lot
>be "neet" for half a year because I wanted to volunteer in the army for 1-2 years and the recruitment would only be in half a year
>have one friend who smokes a ton of weed and who is like me but with severe mental issues
>he's been at different school, so he has a gf
>we build some mtb/Fr jumps in the forest with a friend of him
>the more I get to know him the more aggressive he gets
>his gf breaks up
Thinking back she must have suffered a lot, was always very friendly
>he's suicidal but I can't really help
do one last trip with him to amsterdam, which isn't that far from where I live
I lend him some 260euro because I really wanted to go on a holiday before we go seperate ways
>go to army
>expected to be a lot harder
>finish basic training
>fall in love with girl
>she regects me
>turns out she is a total slut
>why did I fall for her?
>have this kind of sociopathic friend
>seems a lot nicer than he actually is
>pretty much just makes me drunk and laugh about the stupid shit I'd do
>treats all of his friends as his puppets to play with
disappointed again but I still don't give up. All I'm trying is to find is reliable friends/gf.
>enter Uni
>mechanical engineering
>join fraternity, have lots of actually reliable friends
>do lost of Downhill Mountainbiking
>starting to become good
>Uni is going great, turns out I'm quite intelligent
>have 2-3 Uni-friends, kinda reliable
>go to gym to lift, not to get buffed but to get better strength for Mtb
>have to do internshipt for Uni
>apply for a ton of jobs all over my country
>most of the people at uni want to stay close to their home
>I moved already for uni so no problem for me
>get intership at large car manufacturer
>I'm basically engineer, secretarys try to flirt with me
I'm 21 right now

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My life is currently in shambles but ive been making strides to fix it. Here's the story:
>Have a rough and extremely sad childhood
>multiple suicide attempts
>wont bore you guys with the deets
>age 16 sent to the hospital at 3am with 4 5 stitches in my wrist.
>Parents are ill equipped to raise a kid
>not money wise, they just didnt allow me or my siblings any normal freedoms that average kids get to have, especially average american kids.
>Not really allowed to hang out with friends from school if they aren't my race.
>get more isolated and more severely depressed as time goes on.
>In and out of 4 different highshools throughout my highschool career.
>depression overwhelms me
>on a different med every week
>therapist is a cunt, dad doesnt want me to go a real therapist for some made up reason (dad is a doctor, so he just got one of his doctor friends to do it).
>just takes my blood pressure and gives me pills that make me feel like dying.
>live spirals and just gets worse and worse
>lots of self harm and self hate
>always been creative
>learned to read at 3, always been into words.
>always consistently been praised by my art and english teachers for being almost suspiciously above average at reading, writing and drawing.
>many teachers took me aside and talked to me about how i could have a career in this.
>get older, start to fall in love with comedy, especially standup.
>start writing jokes and drawing cartoons and shit.
>always listening to some comedians album
>parents LOATHE the idea of me being an artist in any way but I only apply and get into art schools.
>Get out there on my own, keep doing my thing, writing jokes, and sketches even doing standup a couple times.
>people are into it.
>realize that deep inside of myself, I always knew i wanted to do something like this.
>dad is a complete asshole and really hates any kind of self expression or creativity
>mom too
>they arent going to pay for any more college
welp
(cont)

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>>39280261
I spent the majority of my teenage years locked up in the house, playing vidya and wasting my life on other pointless shit. I'll admit that I discovered 4chan at age 13 and lurked until age 15 when I started posting.
Now I'm 18 and I've been trying to turn my life around. I'm working on getting /fit/, I'm trying to teach myself some new skills and get involved in new activities, find a new social group, and I'm working 30 hours a week.
At age 20, I'm hoping to enlist in the US Army.
My advice to any robots who want to improve their lives: do not stagnate. Sitting inside your house, doing nothing of value for the majority of your time is the worst thing you can do. Find a job, something you can at least tolerate. Volunteer, go out. Anything that gets you out of the house is going to be the gateway into improving your life. It may not seem like it at first, but stick with it and things will get better.
I believe in you, because someone was there to believe in me.

>>39283871
I'm glad that you managed to see the bigger picture, anon. I'd do acid if I could find anything else than cheap nbome here.

I hope you become successful by your own standard of success.

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>>39284338
>I weighed 230 and now I'm down to 207.
Good job! That takes work, and you did it.

Also, those apps are for joggers that already have some decent cardio and aren't out of shape, so don't trust them.

I myself am thinking of maybe going swimming at a local pool, but I'm skinnyfat as fuck, don't want to look odd and don't like having too many people/ complete strangers around me ogling me.

>>39284542
>Anything that gets you out of the house is going to be the gateway into improving your life
this.
Couldn't have said it better

>>39284523
>things get even worse when coming to parents house for breaks
>horrible family dinners where theres nothing but silence and then screaming.
>rinse and repeat for months
Cant take it anymore
Cant fucking take it anymore
>come up with a plan
>work with my school advisors to apply for a bunch of scholarships
>minority so that helps
>if i can make at least 25k in scholarships, I've got options for a bunch of art universities where i can move out and keep writing scrips and telling jokes.
>start writing a scholarship essay every day
>most of them have really stupid open ended prompts which are easy to write jokes for.
>start getting a couple thousand.
>I have until the end of this year to make enough
>get a part time job to pay for food and the plane ticket to fly out there and finally escape when that day comes.
And thats pretty much it, hopefully ill make it to a good university. And even if i pull this off I have to face the day when I use my scholarship money for a full ride to some school in another state and I have to get on the plane and I cant ever turn back. Plus my parents will definitely call the police once they realize I left. But im well over 18 so they cant really force me to live with them.

...i hope this works

>>39284695
Try going to the gym? At least there you can still keep your shirt on if it bothers you that people look at your body

>>39284695
What you don't get is that strangers don't care for you.
That's a good thing, they won't care if you are skinny and even if you do: they are strangers, their opinions don't matter

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>Currently:
I may be unfixably ugly as a good chunk of anons here are, but I'm looking to start using protein powder and steroids and beef up my workout routine so I can get fucking jacked. I've also fixed up my hair situation, though I'm thinking of changing the general hairstyle altogether. I've got to ask though, any anons here who deal with prepubescent-esque acne clear into adulthood? How do you control it?

>Career Goals:
Go to college, join ROTC, major in medicine/nursing, graduate with masters, serve obligatory 5 years in military (USAF) as medic, come home and start my career as a nurse practitioner and return to schooling to work my way up to being a doctor.
Still have to figure out how to actually go about executing this though.

>Life Goals:
Get married and have a daughter, and raise that daughter to be innocent and not slutty and maybe home school her and try to give her the best life I can.

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>>39284762
>>39284770
I also don't want to swim in other people's piss and possibly tapeworm-infested waters.
Sure there is chlorine, but you're dumping your whole body in there, and you can accidentally get some of it in your mouth when doing front crawl.

>>39284695
Join a swimming team and wear a wetsuit. That's all I've got for you, might be worth looking into tho.

>>39284827
Where I live they have a huge boner for swimming, there is a kids' pool separate from the adults' and both are incredibly sanitized. As soon as you walk in you smell chlorine.

I haven't swam in like 15 years though. I was forced to take swimming lessons in the outdoor pool during the summer when I was a kid and I kind of still hate it.

>>39281263
Serious, non-snarky question: how does someone
let their teeth get to that stage? Were you not taught to brush and floss everyday, of do you just drink a lot of soda?

>have anxiety to the point of dreading being seen by other human beings
>need to get a job
How do I get a job with no degree that doesn't involve being constantly around other people?

>>39284968
Not him, but I did need urgent surgery and get one of my teeth pulled. A filling popped out years ago and I just ignored it for years like an asshole because I was too depressed to go to the dentist. Food would get stuck in it all the time, then one day there was a loud popping cracking noises in my head and I was in unbearable pain for 72 hours. I couldn't sleep because the pain of my jaw closing and my teeth touching would jolt me awake.

It'a amazing how much shit you're willing ot ignore and let fall apart including your own body when you have depression and anxiety.

>>39281220
Fuck rice. Quinoa bro

In some technical school now learning IT for certification so I can get a job that isn't minimum wage for once.

I'll probably continue getting more and more certs and experience with jobs like that. Might as well after 27 years of being a manchild faggot who always hated school.

I'm finally fully dead inside and realize reality so I know you just gotta work and make money. I'll just do drugs/drink my endless voids away.

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I guess I should stop feeling sorry for myself. Too depressed to work hard or try in school. Had straight A's first year. Lied to parents about grades. Taking a break from school. Going to try to get a job to build my confidence and self worth and get medical experience.

>>39285108
Probably going to start trying Quinoa. I had it with chicken once, was pretty good

>second year physics student
>got hired last semester as a tutor for math and physics for other majors
>suddenly start failing the shit out of everything
>troubleshoot
>realize I'm ADHD as fuck, I will start reading a paragraph from a book, go stand up, make food, go to the bathroom, clean the kitchen
>generally took me 12-13 hours to complete what would ordinarily be a 4 hour homework assignment
>finally talk to my doctor
>refers me to a psychologist
>gonna get the medication I need

Through highschool I think I accomplished 3 homework assignments on time. I managed to graduate with a 4.0 GPA entirely because my teachers were lenient on submission times.

I'm not actually sure how the fuck I got as far as I did with how bad my attention span is. I'll be talking to someone and mid-way through their sentence zone out and be unable to repeat what they say. I almost crashed my car because I got distracted by a S13 Silvia driving the other way down the road.

Maybe I'm not just a blathering retard as I thought.

That being said, anyone here have experience with ADHD and the medication they give you? I'm skelly as fuck and hope that I can maintain an appetite.

>>39281263
fucking christ, im in the same boat as this anon. i have a tooth thats starting to get wobbly and i don't have any money or insurance to get it fixed. i don't want to sit around and wait for it to get to the point where i have to get it removed either if im not already there.... feels bad man

Been active in job hunting and actually started dating. Been like a NEET for far too long now but ever since I met this girl I'm dating I've finally starting to sort my life out because I got motivated for once to stop being a degenerate

>>39280571
I'm thinking of applying to be a med scribe. My typing skills are very good, so I have nothing to worry about there.
Do you remember the interview at all? What did you do to get rejected ( if you did in fact, get rejected.)

>>39284195
Tough to say exactly, they kept hiding their real intentions behind my back. You can just sense that out of people. Plotting against you just to get you back. It started when they found out I browse this board and found a few posts that I made that offended them.

>>39284690
Thanks man.

>>39281066
>>39280998
i'm proud of you!
what are you studying?

>>39284808
my advice would be do not use steroids until you have spent at least one year consistently going to the gym. If you do not have the discipline to maintain the lifestyle that steroids entail, you will get fucked up.

I also believe the military tests for steroids, so be sure to be clean before you're enlisted.

I had terrible, cystic acne until I was 21 years old. Talk to a doctor, try antibiotics before you get the strong shit like accutane. DO NOT MIX ACCUTANE WITH STEROIDS. If you shower in the morning, try showering at night, and ensure you sheets and pillowcases are cleaned at the very least 2 times a week. There will be a transition period where you will be greasy in the morning, but I promise you it will get better.

does anyone have any experience with jobcorps? my mom involuntarily signed me up for this shit and i have no clue what to expect

>>39281794
>Getting married to someone you've known for less than 8 months.
You are dumb.

>>39285743
Thanks for the advice anon!
Legit, you stopped me from very serious fucking up on achieving some of those goals, i.e. don't mix accutane with steroids and the military checking for roids.

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I have lost motivation to live quite recently with motivation for anything else, I took my old guitar and started playing it again, I felt a lottle less useless, but not for long :c

>started studying cs
>playing a lot of piano and a little guitar
>meditate 10 min every day
>started working out every day (in house not in gym because I feel like everyone is looking at me)
Trying to improve but It's hard. I do all activities above in home (except uni) but It's a good start I think. On the other hand:
>have no idea how to date
>even though I talk to people and have a group of friends at uni, I don't really have anyone to hang out with after, I don't know they have their one life and nobody ever invites me anywhere FeelsBadMan

Still better than high school

>>39281701
its not easy 2 lose any amount of weight, proud of u anon

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>>39281220
>Maybe finally learn to drive
It's not that hard tbqh, first time I started I had such anxiety that it took me a whole year to get the balls to finally do the test and be qualified for driving, then finally start turning the wheel and pressing down the pedals.
Now all anxiety fades away when I'm behind the wheel, if anything, I actually feel good when I drive.
Makes me feel like I can do something that everyone else can do that's important to everyday life.

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A few months ago I stopped wallowing in self pity and finally made steps to improve myself. I got a haircut, worked on my posture, and started exercising. I'm finally feeling the confidence to start a social life. But I'm completely lost on how to do that. I'm still very frustrated that I don't have any real friends that aren't online. I'm 21. Where do I go? Who do I talk to? How do I insert myself into social circles?

>>39287065
I'm sure you have hobbies and interests, there is always a social version of those hobbies.

It's also much easier when you're a young early-20s dude, you can go to college and make friends with someone just because you're wearing the same band shirt or you both smoke weed or whatever.

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>>39282104
Why would you stop using lube? You're obviously circumcised since you need it, but if you don't use it, you'll turn your glans into a calloused insensitive husk.

The foreskin provides natural lube since it's a mucous membrane, and you need to simulate that for the health of your penis.

>>39287256
I like drawing, writing and the obligatory anime and videogames. What am I supposed to do with these?

I'm slowly making progress towards improving myself but I'm not sure how long ill be able keep it up for. I've been a NEET for almost two years since I dropped out of college and I recently noticed that all the self hatred that's been plaguing my life since around the time I started highschool has disappeared, but so has all my enthusiasm for life. I've been spending my days browsing 4chan and watching videos because everything else has lost my interest, including video games and drawing which have been my go to hobbies for my whole life. That's not to mention the paranoia, social anxiety, and obsessive compulsive thoughts that plague my mind everyday. But I figured that if nothing is fun anymore I might as well do stuff that's good for me, so I've been working out every other day and trying to eat better and more consistently. I've only been at it for a couple weeks and it hasn't helped noticeably but I'm going to keep at it anyway. I also made it clear to my mom that I'd like to see a doctor since I feel like antidepressents and/or therapy would help a lot, but if we can actually afford those things is a different matter. Right now the only thing I want is to be able to enjoy life again.

>>39287517
Are you good with drawing? You can join discords with anons and meet up or join fb groups for animu artists in your region.

I'm 24 and just broke up with my girlfriend of 8 years. Everyday is a depressing nightmare, i can't eat very well, have dreams about her every night and am currently skipping work because i had a really vivid dream and i just feel crushed. It was "mutual" but she moved in with some bodybuilder handsome guy immediately and her family loves him. I just feel replaced and useless. She tries to make me feel better by lying about it but i know. I'm just so sad and hurt, i feel like killing myself everyday just to hurt her so i can see her be as sad as i am. Sorry for the wall of text.

>>39287517
There are loads of anime and video game conventions, there might even be local anime store or manga cafes, arcades, indie video game stores, etc. Something like Magic The Gathering is also extremely social, hobby shops typically have open tournaments and game sessions on weekends or something.

You can also go to college or just join a community college class for writing & drawing.

>>39287521
Why not try taking up drawing again?
I draw on any free time I've got cuz I'm on internship. At least you'll feel better doing something and improving a craft.

>>39281263
what kind of art? can you share some?

>>39287695
I do try and make myself draw every so often but I can barely get through sketching before I get tired of putting in the effort for no emotional reward and go back to something that requires less input.

File: faces.jpg (59KB, 928x1056px) Image search: [Google]

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>>39287652
I'm decent I suppose.

I get crucified on /ic/ though.

>>39287773
Don't listen to them, anon. I also got crucified often cuz of animu style, they've got good resources and thats the only thing that matters.
>>39287767
I don't know why, but being able to get followers and likes on social media cheer me up a lot. Maybe you can try drawing for drawthreads around this website? /a/,/v/ seemed to have them and you can get direct feedback from other anons.

>be me
>always had decent luck with talking to people
>still introverted as fuck
>broke up with gf two and a half years ago, havent had sex since until
>Friday night
>go out to a friends, where a suit for no reason
>get laid almost on the spot in my car
Are we dependant on appearances? Recently I've been working on losing weight, doing body weight exercises and making my wardrobe a bit more classic.

>>39285637
If your typing skills are excellent you have nothing to worry about. It was also my freshmen year of college and I didn't have a car, they wanted someone who could go to multiple locations. I had also taken the bus to the interview, and I have average typing skills.

>>39287856
Well I cant promise I'll do it but its worth giving a thought, thanks anon

>>39287461
Does sensitivity ever return? Still mad that my midwestern father cucked me and never told me what I needed to know.

Hey Bots, I'm heading into my senior year of high school. I'm being sent to a different school for student who are credit depleted because I fucked up my past 3 years of high school and this really fucked me because I had a promising career in sports, but I wasn't eligible. I'm just really lazy when it comes to stuff like school work but super motivated for other things. I want to at least get a 4 year degree and want to put myself to have a happy adult life. Where should I go from here?

>>39288539
Go to the library and don't takebyour phone or something so you don't have distractions. I don't One I what advice to give but looking back most people wish they did better in high school, so maybe that can motivate you a bit. Get your school work out of the way then focus on other stuff. I doubt many people wish they watched more youtube or olayed more video games during,that time