depression thread

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>>39094704
>post shit that makes you sad
ok

>>39094704
What's got you down tonight OP?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2l-ufU_QTE

>>39094750

the fact that i'll never find love, the fact that im not important to anyone, the fact that none of my "friends" have initated contact with me in a long while and im always the one who has to contact them, the fact that all of them have a circle of other friends and im just a passerby

the realisation that i will never ammount to anything, that im the last person with my last name and that with me my family name dies, the disgust i feel with myself when i feel like im glad that my father died before i could see him dissapointed in what i am

>>39094863
You go to college/have a job anon?

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glad we're keeping it general because i've got a few things anon

this right here is a 4chan classic

>>39094876

college starts in a month, currently working a summer job. im looking forward to it because it'll take my mind off of the fact that literally noone cares about me, which really shows when you have lots of free time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FDSdg09df8

This man is pretty sweet.

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those dark anime feels for your pleasure

so if i happened ince and you also happened is there anyway for menor you to be conscious again after death?

i hate this thought i just want oblivion

> depression thread
I believe that the correct terminology is "baww thread".

>>39094943
Hey man, same here. I know what you're going through even though I'm not going through it right now. I lucked out and got a really comfy job at a food delivery place where I met some great new people. Even though I never meet with them outside of work I'm still happy I got to meet them, I should probably hold onto that when I quit to go to college.

Anyway, you're going to college in a month right? I bet you'll find some new friends there, hope you find some people that you actually have things in common with. But what I like to do when I'm feeling down is to watch Scrubs, that show honestly has some GREAT life lessons. I know it's not the funniest show ever, but that's not the reason I watch it. Just watch this ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpsdyEYLDvM) . It kind of applies on both of our situations, trust me and watch that show.

I felt like I was going to mentally snap and break down so I took a week off work. It was nice, but came back to work yesterday. Got home today where I was just overthinking and thinking of scenarios where everything goes to shit. I broke down.

What the fuck is wrong with me

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good lord why even go on. where do we go from here lads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4ASDIs6JD8
This is what makes me sad.

>>39095036

it's my 3rd year, and i did find some people to hang with. i like them, but i feel like they just tolerate me. and i don't blame them, i rarely have any way to contribute to a conversation, or to any kind of social situation.

thanks for the reccomendation though, i'll check it out. not like i have anything else to do anyway

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can't wait for that DMT tripfags

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Knowing the inevitable is hard to swallow, especially on your own doom.

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>When everyone makes fun of Shinji and calls him a pathetic and wimpy protagonist but you relate to him so much.

>>39095108
You ever feel like you just hang with your friends just for the sake of hanging with them? I don't know for sure whether I know what it's like to have actual good friends. And I also feel like I'm taking things for granted when I say that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iattIZ6y5PM
enjoy

>>39095352
>>39095108
Like for example these videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlBskd3IaNw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVfvQ1mhTsE
Last time I had a friend where I could fuck around like this with was when I was maybe like 11 or 12. Now it's just people I really think are nice and funny and just good people but they're not really like me. You know?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv1B0ejhFVE

>>39095401
All my friends are "I will do things with them if they ask"
I've learned not to say no to a lot of invites like I used to and it works, and I enjoy hanging out with them, but they're still the friends who I'll hang out with if they ask me. Or I'll send them all the same message like "lets do something"

But I don't have a friend that I ask to hang out with, that I wanna spend time with just me and him.

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>>39095197
Is this true lad ?
The body kills you because it lost faith in you ?

>>39094704
>meet girl
>she seems interested
>slowly realize we have nothing in common at all
>like horror/thriller movies
>she only watches disney movies and comedies
>want to explore the outdoors
>she'd rather just watch netflix and go out to places with her friends
>want to be /fit/
>she has no interest in ever working out
>like trance and music that evokes emotion
>she likes top 40 and rap

Is it so fucking hard to meet a girl who likes the things I like? I mean I know there is always compromise but I can't tell you how many girls i've met who all do the same basic shit. It's not like I want a girl who watches fucking anime holy shit. And the worst thing is they will absolutely never compromise anything.

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>>39094704
Who else /hatewhereyoulive/ ?

I would murder someone to live in a tiny little beach town in Commiefornia. I just want to walk to the beach, buy an overpriced ice cream cone, and watch the waves. I hate the south. I hate the humid 95 degree weather. I hate the rednecks. I hate my life.

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>>39094917
I used to do that aswell for many years, especially on New Year's Eve, also this Pokemon GO thing helped alot, they thought I go out with friends everyday when I was just walking around the city from 8PM to 3AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkg18BKGBhE

>>39095493
Yeah I had/have(kinda) friends like that, I just gave up on it though because it wasn't worth my time. I broke my shoulder last year while I was hanging out with them, was a lonely neet just out of high school and didn't go to college (took a year off). I stayed at home in my bed for 6 whole weeks, because I didn't have a job/school, so I basically just played videogames and watched movies all by myself all day long. When I told my friends I broke my shoulder they were shocked, but they never followed up on it again after that. They never asked me how I was doing, never texted me, never decided to come by and hang or whatever. After like 3 weeks I had to text one of my friends and asked him to come watch a movie or whatever, of course he came and some of the other guys too but fuck man, it's not normal for "friends" to never ask about another friend's broken shoulder right? That's not real friendship I don't think.

So that's kind of when I stopped trying and just came by when they were doing something and they asked me to come by, I rarely initiated contact anymore because fuck them.

Just really hope I meet some good people in college.

>>39095607
Please tell me this is real, because this is amazing

>>39095631
it's not, there is a captain disillusion where he mentions it

>>39095631
I have always lied to everyone about everything, it's better than being an average r9k autist, people still think I'm somewhat normal, I also have criminal record, I'm supposed to serve 6 months in jail and in theory I'm a wanted man and none of my relatives knows anything about it

>>39095352
I know this feel. I have one true friend who I can actually tell anything and feel true to myself around. Everyone else is just someone I spend some time with. I don't know how to get deep connections anymore. Sadly my friend is half a world away now and we never get to see each other.

>>39095618
Sadly man you need to initiate things sometimes. Invite people to do things, do whatever it takes. Good luck with college also. I went to community college and later to a college I could commute too and while I did come out successful I made few friends along the way. I wish I had the dorm experience.

>>39095723
what did you do? drug related?

so what happens if someone puts a shotgun in the mouth at 45 degrees to the hard palate with 00 buck and lives somehow? nursing home?

and is that probably certain death even if done inside a hospital or in a subvision?

>>39095326
I never had a problem with him being wimpy, what I hated about him was being indecisive. Either get in the robot and save the world, or walk away and abandon it. 2 options, he only has to choose one and stick with it, yet he spends so long being indecisive.

>>39095723
damn dude when are you gonna serve your time? they wont forget. some day you are gonna get pulled over for a broken tail light and they will arrest you

>>39095567
Pretty much the same in my case. It doesn't help that most of my hobbies are solitary.

>>39095755
the charge was possesion and dissimenation of cp but it was just for fun, my parents think I got busted for downloading movies on torrents

>>39094704
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3zXiYkJIGU
I love emo music still even though I am 25
In fact I have never been more angsty in my life

>>39095740
But I feel like initiating 95% of the time is just not a real friendship. I'll move on to a new group of friends the second I get the chance I guess. And thanks, I'm excited for college, don't live in America but I wish I could get that dorm experience too. Seems fun and they kinda force you to meet new people, even more so than just in class itself.

>>39095837
fucking pedo kill urself

>>39094917
Its stories like this that lead me to think that my parents don't really care for me like other parents do for their children. I'm a failed project too, failed at practically every aspect in life, but my parents have managed to place every ounce of the blame on me. I've never known them to ask why I never went out with friends, or why I never had a girl interested in me, and they sure as hell aren't sad about the fact that I'm practically a net negative influence on the world. They just get mad for some stuff, like when I'm underperforming at school or mess something up, but they don't care that I'm a failure.

In the past I've tried to talk to my parents about how I felt. They always say the same thing.

My dad:
>you don't understand life
>there's something wrong in your head and you need to fix it
>one day...

my mom
>you're too soft for this world
>you never try so you'll never do anything worthwhile

I hate them, not for the way they treat me, because I've never had to ask for a thing in my life, but for bringing me into this and not knowing what to do with me. The worst part is they don't care they failed. My education is at an end, is what they say, and if I fail now the fault's on me. But I've never had the chance to start running for the leap that I have to take.

But the most of all I hate myself for not being able to do what so many people do so easily.

>>39095873
>I love emo music still even though I am 25
>In fact I have never been more angsty in my life
22 and I feel the same. Even as an angsty teen, much of it was something of an act.

Nowadays I can barely contain my sadness and dissatisfaction and directionless anger.

the most recent emo revival from a few years back definitely had some good artists come through

>>39095954
It may not be, but sometimes you get the ball rolling and show them you are fun to be around they will then start inviting you to things.

>>39095958
Yeah your parents sound awful.

>>39095958
Parents are the most goddamn selfish people in the fucking world. THEY'RE the reason people like us get roped into this shitty thing called life. And a majority of the time they have the fucking gall to act like we should be THANKFUL that they had unprotected sex. Fuck thanks parents, I DIDN'T ASK TO BE FUCKING BORN

why does it all hurt so much boys

I have "friends" but they are all spineless cucks or want nothing to do with me

every single girl cuts off contact after they realize what a waste I am, some go out of their way to hurt me

it's like im living a lie

>>39095947
Archery, painting and reading. Soon starting uni because I want to be a translator, and my dream is to find a girl who would edit my works. I'm not that good at painting, but it brings me peace and that's I enjoy doing it. I've also been thinking of keeping my own herb garden. What makes me really sad is that most girls wouldn't find these hobbies attractive. I don't want to end up with a woman I dislike.

>>39095957
Don't be mean, we're here for a reason.

>>39096019
Yeah I guess you're kinda right. These just aren't really the people worth sticking that energy into though.

>>39094943
If you're this much of a pussy, you're gonna kill yourself by the end of your sophomore year. Things have got to change if you're gonna make it.

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>Self hatred/no self esteem/lack of confidence touches every single part of my life
>Can't text the few friends I have without thinking I'm bothering them, so I always wait for a text first (its own special Hell)
>Will absolutely not even approach women. Cannot face rejection and I don't have the shred of a belief that anyone would ever, ever want me
>Lacking in affection, physically and emotionally, with nowhere to get it and no courage to seek it out
>No idea what to do with my schooling/degree or a future career because I don't believe anyone would want me at a job, or that I could ever do anything well
>Won't fight for more money at work because I don't know if I deserve it (because I deserve nothing) etc.

All of my sadness stems from the hatred I feel for myself. It's not even a burning fire anymore. It's nothing but a smoldering waste, polluting everything.

Went on a date with my oneitis I paid for a fancy French restaurant then we cuddled under the moon infront of the big historic building in my town. Only to be ghosted ever since meeting, they still have me on every social media account so I don't know if they're just busy or don't care. I've been sobbing for the past few days about it. Just end me anons

>>39096171
Probably should have went for something less expensive for a first or second date.

>>39096171
Hate to say this bro but there is no such thing as being busy for a girl. Unless her phone magically falls in the ocean if shes not back to you within a day its over. Don't delude yourself into thinking she is interested even if she does eventually respond in like a week.

>>39096046
Calm the fuck down you edgy little bitch.

>>39096193
Yeah I understand that he just spent a lot on the train ticket to see me so I wanted to make it special

>>39095591
>live in California
>not by the beach
>no
>in the shitty humid part

>>39096047
I know that feel anon. It feels like youre a bother because you are always the one that messages people first.

Why does no one ever want to talk to me first? Why can't a "friend" just message me asking if I want to go get like food or something. It's always me that has to make plans..

Managed to find a girlfriend (my first) at the ripe age of 25, but I still find myself unable to be productive most days of the week. I'm no longer a robot by this board's increasingly absurd standards, but I might as well ask, what do?

>>39096346
You can start by getting off this board.

>>39095837
> but it was just for fun

What was fun about it? Just that fact that it was something taboo?

>>39096171
>date girl at uni for most of 2nd semester
>go home (out of state) for summer since dad has a job lined up
>text her once a week with no response for june and july
>first text i get is her breaking up with me

what the fuck did i do wrong

>>39096357
I don't find most threads here enjoyable anymore, but I still visit from time to time, because once, I belonged here, before it became a den for those who rejected anything and everything "normal". There was a time when I came here for advice and consolation, but that time has long passed. I'll stop browsing eventually, so don't worry, but it won't be because you and other self-destructive anons told me to

>>39096385
she left you for a more convenient hole stuffer

>>39095798

>he has never related to being indecisive when under pressure

>>39096385
probably nothing she just met someone better

>>39095108
+1
DUDE. Scrubs is amazing. You should definitely check it out. It's a show that'll make you laugh and feel all within 1 episode. Personally my fav show ever.

>>39094917
This sucks only because what a waste of a friday night. Holy shit...sitting in some shitty lot all night alone.

>>39096403
I'm not self-destructive (yet) but this board really has a bad influence on people. I just find myself much happier when I stay away from it for a few days.

>>39096418
He did get told that whatever he chooses is fine, no? Maybe I remember wrong.

>>39096470
Yeah, I didn't mean to group you in with the rest of them. My post would've felt too verbose if I made the distinction and I tend to stay silent when I feel I feel I'm being overly wordy

I'm not ugly and ive had gfs before but I'm treated consistently as something casual.my longest relationship was when i was in high school (20 now) and even that was only a few months. I know i'm a pain in the ass to deal with (depression, mood swings) but i just hate feeling like nobody actually likes me once they get to know me

>>39096552
Nah, I get it, as you can see I'm here again even though being away is better for my state of mind so something is obviously wrong with me. I don't know why I keep coming here even though the rational part of me knows I shouldn't.

>>39095618

> That's not real friendship I don't think.
The one thing I've learned in 8 years since high school is that some people, me included, have this romantic view of friends. Where they're special people who have this deep connection with you. But even friends are just people. They have their own lives going on, they can't always remember whats going on in yours. Sometimes they get busy, and sometimes they drift away. In the end, friends are just people you want to be around and they sometimes want to be around you. And if you want to be around them you have to initiate sometimes

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>>39095197
There is no proof of that, don't spread junk science like the DEA does

>>39094704
For all of you robots with depression, how many of you come from single parent households? I want to see something.

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world champs depression is not real

>>39094917
My dad and i shared a similar experience once too. Feels fucking bad.

>>39095958
What does making them admit they care about failing you do for you? It won't magically rectify your languishing ego. You know you have no one else to trust and carry you through life but yourself.

You're making it sound like you're at the bottom rung of life when you're still able to fucking post shit on this site. Another failed attempt at trying to get out of your shitty situation is only going to give you lessons to make further attempts smoother. It looks like you're focusing too much on shit and that's what you exactly get.

>spent the entirety of March-late November last year as an emotionless person
>grandfather dies within a week of checking into a hospital on Thanksgiving
>since then I've gradually lost my composure of myself again
>before then I had to rebuild after being separated from the Navy for medical reasons (mental shit)
>after being shattered and trying to glue it all back together it's all coming apart again
>no clue what to do
>angry or brooding constantly
>just want it to fucking stop
Somebody help me here

>>39097880
go to church, stop turning inwards

>>39097941
>stop turning inwards
I don't know how

>>39097524
Both parents, but both didn't care much so it might as well have been no parents.

>>39098078
I gave you a good suggestion in the first half of that same post.

>>39094704
https://youtu.be/mXPp_5Q5CHk

this song desu, everything Dan has made is pretty depressing. I still feel glad that he kind of got over it.

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>tfw turbo manlet
>tfw always made fun of about it
>tfw found out today i have mild scoliosis
will getting corrective surgery make me taller?

>>39097398
I think that's the thing that bothered him about it, and I can see where he's coming from if it is. Are you truly friends with somebody if you always call them up to do something? If you're the only one who ever actually wants something to do with them, when they never extend the same offers and never actually ask what you're up to or what you want to do. Maybe it's the feeling of not being wanted?

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>ended a year long relationship recently
>worked a 10 hour day at work
>come home to roommate and his girlfriend cuddling on the couch watching a movie about relationships
>have to sit there and listen to it while I eat my dinner
>drag all of the beer in the house into my room and shut myself in
>too tired from work to enjoy any vidya
>have tomorrow off but nowhere to go and nothing to do and nobody to see

Time to mcfucking kill myself.

>>39098636
go for a fucking hike.

get >>>/out/ clear your head anon

>>39098713
Sounds like a plan, it's not like i have the money to go do anything anyways.

>>39095591
Im in socal. There are no tiny little beach towns left. From the Mexican border to Los Angeles its only up-jumped beachside suburbs for the wealthy. Honestly, I'm envious of the homeless who sleep in their cars in the beach parking lots.

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>>39095058
Stop anon I don't need this now

>>39096503
He can freely make the choice, but he is the only person who can pilot Unit 01.

>>39098757
Good luck. I hope you can feel even a little better. The fresh air and sunshine will do you good. Have fun, anon.

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>>39095798
This only made me relate to him more and they spell it out pretty clearly in episode 4 (or 5?), so let me try and explain it from my point of view.

On one hand he could take the easy way out and stop piloting the robot. But he knows this won't get him what he wants (his dad's affection) and it would cut him off from the friends he's made (toji, kensuke, misato). This would have a negative effect on his life, but he knows it would be easier to just wallow about what could have been than do anything.

On the other hand he could do the hard thing that would help him. But shinji doesn't want to be seen as a hero. He doesn't want to be respected because he doesn't respect himself, he believes he deserves nothing but the ridicule and pity he gets. Essentially, what shinji wants is for somebody to tell him to make the hard choice. This is what misato understood at the end of episode 4, and this is why shinji waited at the train station.

Shinji wants to be accepted and appreciated, but he doesn't think he deserves it. he needs somebody to tell him that he does and this is why he's so indecisive.

>>39095591
Living around rednecks is the worst as a robot.

This song instinctivley makes me really sad despite sounding really happy, and having a happy music video. idk why.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izzY55ACUQo

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>>39099176
>This
I grew up in a small town and literally if you were a male and didnt drive a pickup truck you were considered a second class citizen. Granted, I drove a truck but I was a pathetically shy introvert so it still didnt get me that far anyway.

>>39098405
Maybe just a couple inches but it's better than nothing. Go for it.

Each time i play an online game like insurgency, my anxiety kicks in and i cant even talk in the game thinking i might get kicked and harassed for just saying that i spotter an enemy. Also, i tried joining some Discord i found interesting but i cant even write or say anything thinking that i will get banned from the server.

>>39095873
I was literally just about to post this
my man

>>39094704
That pic is normie
>>39094742
Tumblr
>>39094996
Vice? Fuck me lads.

At least summer is almost over and I can have my board back. I hope, this was the only thing keeping me going, knowing that not being a normie was acceptable among fellow robots, not needing women, and being socially inept.

Now a bunch of normies browse here. Just fucking let me be a sad special snowflake in my secret club, for just a little longer before you take it from me. Thanks.

I'm too upset at seeing the previously stated shit to actually browse this thread now. Thanks faggots. I can't even wallow on this board anymore.

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>>39095591
I don't give a heck about socal. The picture I posted is in Santa Cruz county. I live 2,500 miles away, but I dream of driving there myself. Don't know what I would do if I actually made it there.

I wish I could restart my life and pick where I was born. I don't give a shit that I'm ugly manlet. I just want to live somewhere nice. I'm only 19 and I feel like I've wasted my life in this hell.

i only have one friend, and even then he is fake as fuck. he said that he was to busy to be hanging out with me (Like always). I go to the wawa and I see he hanging out with a whole group of people.

>>39099874
Fuck him then. No reason to put up with that

This gets me in suicide watch

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vt1Pwfnh5pc

>have to stay at my parents after a surgery
>no work till october
>had shoulder surgery so only one arm
>cant fap
>need help to get dressed
that im not allowed to work is fucking bringing me down i have nothing else

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>>39094863
Ive been there bro, and still AM...

>>39094704
Decided to put myself out there the last couple days. Try to reconnect with friends, see if I could find someone so I no longer have to masturbate, etc. Ended finding someone to hang out with so I got stuck talking with a group.

I never realized how disconnected with the world when I was talking with these people. After years of just sleeping when I'm not at work I don't think I'll ever be good at socializing again because I did it to myself. The attempts I made to flirt with women online and in real were disasters.

One thot blocked me after "what's up" which bummed me out even though I know it shouldn't let it get to me.

>>39100332
How disconnected could you be if you're using a word like thot unironically?

>when I'm sober I hate myself and get anxious
>when I get high I hate myself and get anxious
>when I get drunk I hate myself and get anxious

>>39095257
If you guys feel bad about yourselves, remember that this girl will be fat by 30 and by the time the jock guy is 40 he'll be a thick propane salesman boring the shit out of the guy next to him at a bar talking about that one play that time i high school.

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>>39094704
>mfw I see my turbo-normie discord "friend" who's been in and out of 3 relationships this year use this meme

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>Failed my class because i cant do maths
>Been drinking heavily to hide my feelings
>Go home to tell parents
>Find out my parents are in debt and my father has started drinking secretly to cope
>All my friends are graduating and moving on with their lives
>I've been at uni for 5 years now
>Finally crack and have full on melt down in front of my friends
>Spend the last two days in bed crying

My life has become a joke and im tired

>>39094704
nice tumblr picture you 14 year old normalfag get off this website

>>39098078
You can't. Your like this for life now.

>>39099423
>when the resident idiot thinks the summer meme is real

>>39096140
Sounds like me. I'm in a career now and have no idea if I'm in over my head or have imposter syndrome. I just let things happen to me without going out of my way and doing anything for myself. I think every stranger I pass in the street is a better person than me. I don't do anything in my life except stay in my apartment and go on my computer. I'm 26 now and my friends are quickly maturing, getting married and planning for the next stage of their life. Meanwhile I live the life of a child in an adult's body, hopelessly drifting through life with no idea where to go or what to do.

>>39100759
OR the guy turns into a successful middle manager making 6 figures because he's actually sharp, has great social skills, and people like being around him. And a woman is a woman, they automatically play life on easy mode.

>>39100759
This is what robots tell themselves to feel better? My high school jock-bully is a rich investor with her trophy wife and side bitches. Most of the stacies from my class got rich husbands and they don't have to worry about anything for the rest of their life. Meanwhile I'm working in below minimum wage retail at the tender age of 34 because I can't deal with people.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oJm2S5F-7w

HITORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII BOCHIIIIIIIII

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>>39096223
this. bitches always have their phones in hand and will text you back immediately after reading your shit. if she don't text you back within a reasonable time frame then she is either not interested in you period or you just a friend to her

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>get gf
>feel completely transformed, like I can do anything. My life suddenly has meaning and I'm excited to wake up each day and live a healthy life
>eventually she loses interest and cuts contact
Back to square one. It's just so wild, how your life can completely turn around like that so quickly. It was fun while it lasted.

>>39100692
the best one is the one where you have no motivation or want to leave the house all day, then get crushed by anxiety and loneliness when you realize everything you're avoiding, and the friends you push away

>>39094704
>trusting anyone
>ever

obviously not original lol

>>39097437
Please look up the quote before making assumptions that it's some dumb fake info someone slapped on an image.

>>39095788
Aim it towards the brain stem. You absolutely can't live without it. Plus it's smaller and more likely to be completely destroyed. Even a slight injury to it can fuck up all involuntary functions and end your life. Why do people choose the cerebrum?

>tfw you're in you're late 20s and youth is slowly fading away and before you know it you'll be the same person in 15 years but with severe physical ailments and possibly life threatening diseases
Who /ready for even more hell/ here?

>>39101729
If you need someone else to live a normal life then you need to get your shit straight. You have to be able to stand on your feet by yourself in order to hold onto a relationship.
This is precisely why I don't ever want one. Because it takes a fuckload of effort just to get to a point where I'd feel worthy of a girl, and once you're with one it's constant commitment of time and money. I want my time and money all to myself. Women are a massive waste of time and freedom.

>Living in the middle of forest nothing
>internet breaks
>10-11 days minimun to get it fixed
>day 7
>have to walk uphill to get shitty 3g signal.
>parents are away
>no friends
>I am alone and I don't have connection

I truly miss all of you faggots. I never realized how important you all were for me.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLzqGV4e5tY

All my life I could have done something, change maybe, made the right decision in a pool of wrong ones.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stKK-tSAvCs

I feel like the shadow moses island from metal gear. Slowly sinking into the sea, and a host of bad memories that will be lost to the rising tide on a snowy island, hazy, and with many unexplored passageways abandoned by the ghost that used to call it home.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q05fdsdAtes

I have anybody to miss, but I never talked enough to know if anybody misses me. So many lost opportunities. What if somebody liked me? Did I miss it like everything else?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrNkMUbykgA

Remember the first time you came to this website? I saw someone mention it in a newgrounds related irc, and It sounded like a fun place. 9 years later and I'm still here.

Consider suicide every day of my life. Feel worthless. Feel unwanted. Know I could change but it's too much work. Death is just the easier option at this point.

Only thing stopping me is thinking about my parents crying over me dying. I spend a lot of time with my mom and her life would never recover.

There's no way out.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sBaiEMIovU

Everyones sleeping. Here is my last song. Please have a nice night, anons please keep comfortable.

Remember the alamo.

Im perfectly capable and have the means of making something and moving on with my life, but I don't. I just stagnate alone in my room pushing away everyone and dodging any sort of responsibility or consequence, and I don't even know why I do it. I got smashed with my "friends" once and one of them asked why I was so cold shouldered and bitter about everything, and I had no real answer.

Why do I hate everything? Why can't I just be happy with anything I do? I mean yeah I was pretty badly bulied in highschool but so were my friends and they are living happily and moving on with their lives.

>>39103095
If you compare yourself with other you will never rest easy, not even with death's embrace, either tough it out or like me assume the guilt and let it cover you

>>39099649
You don't know how bad it gets untill you're born in the midlands of the UK surrounded by chavs and lowlife. This is the most degenerative, depressing place. It all needs to be razed, I pity anyone else who gets fucking born here, Just living here alone even if i wasn't a disgusting manlet is more than enough reason to fucking neck myself, i'm just a pussy so now I have to suffer

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>you will never go beyond

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>thinks that used to make you happy don't anymore
>keep doing them repeatedly anyway

>tfw same clothes, same computer, same phone from a decade ago

Why can't I just let go of anything.

>>39096140
me too bro. I cant even text in group chats because I'm scared no one wil answer. I've lost hope with women since I know I cannot love or even talk with them

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>>39103223
>tfw Kitan sacrificed himself

>>39100827
that sucks man
i hope your life gets better