/britfeel/

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>>37930105
1st for Damon Albarn

original comment

The World Taekwondo Federation (WTF) has changed its name to World Taekwondo because of the "negative connotations" associated with its initials.

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First for Sulla

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>>37930170
What the fuck?

You have been muted for thirty-two seconds, because your comment was not original.

>>37930170
WTF? No more WTF?

pooey bum wank

>>37930170

It might be the kick up the arse the sport needs.

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>>37930249
None of your lewdness please, this is a Christian thread

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YX7KP_XiCUI

Check out this guest on jeremy Kyle

>>37930249
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7uV4oo6YBY

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Chinese for year: Nian

Chinese for old: Lao

Chinese for 20: Ershi

Chinese "20 years old": Erishi ge nian lao?

No it's ershi ge sui

Because apparently "sui" means "Years old"

Why can't they just combine the word for "year" and old" ffs

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>>37930277
Silly gingers, when will they learn

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>>37930277
>locks all the hotel stuff in a safe
Fucking madman

Need a big willy up me bum

>>37930384
I can get you an 8 inch one by 7pm tonight lad will that do?

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I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding lads.

>all Spanish, Italians and Portuguese tourists and students will be kicked out of London after we leave the EU

It's gonna be beautiful folks

>>37930403
aye why not lad

>>37930413
mummy may says europeans are getting the right to stay

>>37930384
Welcome to /britfeel/, we hope you enjoy your stay

>>37930413
so happy about this, cant wait to kick out more whites and bring in more people from india, pakistan and china

>>37930427
>europeans
They are not Europeans. They are disgusting loud, violent normies who litter and disturb everyone in a 5 mile radius

No wonder Southern Europe is so fucking poor

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>>37930441
>from southern europe
>not european

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>>37930411 (You)
LOL, what a funny post my fellow Redditor

EDIT: Thanks for the gold!

>>37930525
did you just get caught replying to your own post lad?

Alright lads, I want some world class albums to listen to.

The very best. This is considering I will likely know most of the main popular albums in music history. Give me something that a relatively obscure little gem.

Lads I've been doing something that I was a bit ashamed of, but now that I think about it, I bet loads of lads do it.

I've been putting butter on my cock and balls and getting the dog to lick it off. It feels amazing.

Anyone else ever done it? C'mon, own up.

>>37930610
you give me some first you cunt

>>37930610
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O1CcwYf79I

>>37930669
Yeah, used to do it all the time when I lived at home. Sometimes you get really horny and normal wanking doesn't do it.

Would never tell anyone IRL though

>>37930610
Goldie - timeless

>>37930610
Tell me a couple of things you enjoy and I'll give you a recommendation.

>>37930669
Yes. A few times when I was younger.

>>37929978
i don't see why not anon, if anyone asks just say you're killing time

>>37930249
pokey pokey lad

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Day breaks
And every morning when he wakes
He thinks of you

I'm alone
That's OK
I don't mind
Most of the time
I don't feel afraid to die
She was here, passing by
Don't don't go home Angelina
Stay with me
Hanging around in the lost and found

I went my local pub on my own once. I was sat on my own in the corner with a pint of carlsberg minding my own business when a fella breaks from his group and comes and sits next to me. He asked me if I was alright and what I was doing drinking alone on a Saturday night. I stumbled over my words a bit and said that I was new in town, despite having the local accent.

Got weird looks off that group all night.

>>37930669
No, but it sounds like a very good and horny idea. I might try it tonight. Does it really feel that good though?

>>37930847
I love Elliott Smith and that song in particular.

>>37930858
Honestly mate it's phenomenal. Recommend it 100%, as long as you get past the stigma.

>>37930695
>>37930669
>>37930746
>>37930858

fuckin hell boys

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>>37930847
Thought you'd be looking for the next in line to love
Then ignore, put out, and put away
And so you'd soon be leaving me
Alone, like I'm supposed to be
Tonight, tomorrow, and everyday

There's nothing here that you'll miss
I can guarantee you this
Is a cloud of smoke
Trying to occupy space
What a fucking joke
What a fucking joke

I waited for a bus to separate the both of us
And take me off, far away from you
Cause my feelings never change a bit
I always feel like shit
I don't know why, I guess that I just do

You once talked to me about love
And you painted pictures of
A never never land
And I could've gone to that place
But I didn't understand

I didn't understand
I didn't understand

original commentary

>>37930669
>>37930695
>>37930746
>>37930858

You lads do realise that dogs lick bums and shit right? They're filthy, why on earth would you want that on your cock?? Just get some lube or something

Can someone explain britfeels to an Amerifat like me?

>>37930967
A dog's mouth is actually more sterile than a human's mouth, and their saliva is a natural anti-septic.

>>37930847
>>37930890
>>37930935

Drink up, baby, stay up all night
With the things you could do
You won't but you might
The potential you'll be that you'll never see
The promises you'll only make

Drink up with me now and forget all about
The pressure of days, do what I say
And I'll make you okay and drive them away

Why did he do it bros :( most of my favourite singers killed themselves too

>>37930695
>>37930669
>>37930746
>>37930858

Lads I started out doing this and eventually went all the way with the dog. Shagging them is remarkably easy and they really enjoy it. Unfortunately I got too addicted to it and ended up needing some help from professionals to get out of it. Still can't form a normal relationship with a person.

>>37931041
Please be kidding, fucking hell that's weird

>>37930610
Depends on what you classify as popular tbqh, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQR6tGNwzzE
this is one of my favourite albums from a true robot

>>37931041
Yeah I have sometimes rubbed the dog's pussy while it's licking my cock. Worried that it's going too far, don't want to go too far down this road

>>37930746
>Moni owning a dog
nice try

>>37931074
We had one when I was a kid.

>>37931051
Not kidding. Being really horny with no limits can take you down some strange and dangerous roads
>>37931065
Stop now before it goes too far. Licking is ok, but when you shag it, it will be so good that you will never want to stop. I still think about it every day.

>>37930847
Your day breaks, your mind aches
You find that all the words of kindness linger on
When she no longer needs you

She wakes up, she makes up
She takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry
She no longer needs you

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

You want her, you need her
And yet you don't believe her when she said her love is dead
You think she needs you

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

Got a ham and pineapple pizza for dindin lads

Quite excited

>>37931131
>pineapple
>pizza

consider suicide

>>37931131
did you cook it yourself? i hope you did because if you just ordered it from a takeaway youve wasted your money, you can make a pizza that is much better than any takeaway pizza and for less money

>>37931131
I bet you are one of the same lads who gets his dick licked by his doggo.

still reeling from that trip, that was as far down the rabbit hole as I am ever willing to venture ever again
had to call in sick because no way that would have ended well

When I was 8 years old my mum let one of her friend's rape me. I said to her "no, no, I don't want this" and she said to me "stop being such a baby, it's going to happen." Still having a hard time dealing with it.

This might also be why I like pineapple on pizza.

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Went to the poncy overpriced off licence today.

>>37931169
>did you cook it yourself

I am cooking a pre-prepared shrink-wrapped pizza myself, yes.

Nobody has time to make their own pizza from scratch in today's fast-paced world.

>>37931186

No but sometimes I dip my peanus weanus in the fish pond and the koi carp come and have a nibble

>>37931225
You polish lad?

>>37931232
oh so youre not cooking it at all, good god you are stupid, you could have easily made your own for a fraction of the price and it would have been healthier

>>37931236
Nah, but I've visited many times.
The poles are good folk.

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>>37931245
You sound like this image

>>37931245
How can you realistically make a pizza cheaper than a quid

I got in touch with a local paedo hunting group and they want me to come along to one of their confrontations tonight and do the camera.

>>37931245
t. hugh firmlly wittytit

>>37931286
>invading people privacy in the name of social justice

I hope the nonce necks you all.

>>37931286
How you gonna film yourself getting busted?

>>37931245
>for a fraction of the price

Yes, but only if your time is free, time is money anon, and I've none to spare kneading dough and spreading sauce and god only knows what else making a pizza involves.

>>37931308
selfie stick

>>37931245
>Cooking
Haha get a load of this normie.

>>37931310
This

By the time you add in proofing the dough it's really not worth the effort.

last day of fasting lads Ramadan finally over soon what are you lads doing for eid? my maneger has given me 3 days off to celebrate havent smoked a spiff in 4 weeks gonna get absolutely baked tomorrow

>>37931305
It's some guy who thinks he is talking to 12 and 13 year old girls. He's scum, lad.

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>>37931387
Your kind aren't welcome here.

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How does this webm make you feel, britfeel?

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>>37931387
Gonna eat one of these cos my god isn't smelly and brown.

>>37931417
Eww, they're all 3D and stuff.

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>>37930105

Daily reminder that Mandarin Chinese is the official language of Yinggan

>>37931387
meal with the family then off to mosque for prayers. you shouldn't be smoking drugs brother, it is not what our religion deems ok.
you act religious for these special events but I bet you're a false muslim, like so many brothers out there who like to look the part.

>>37931397
I agree he's scum but you lot are much worse.

Ever think about passing the information on to the police or a qualified psychologist? Or do you feel morally just in being judge, jury and executioner to a stranger that you've entrapped?

>>37931417
Physically uncomfortable

Too graphic

>>37931489

Lets just remember what 'techniques' they use for 'paedo hunting'

Most of them spend hours and hours loitering around where paedophiles congregate, they roleplay as young girls, and often have explicit photos on them to seem leigitmate.

>normalfags at work calling me a paki because I prefer sausage on my toasties rather than bacon
Fucking normalshits.

>>37930314
You can say that, but it only applies to inanimate objects.

>>37931544
Just eat the bacon then

>>37931544
Bit dumb when sausage has pig in it

>>37931544
Sausages are made out of pork though. Do you work at a place that only hires retards?

>>37931489
That's not what entrapment is, assuming that he was already looking for underage girls

>>37931570
My sausage has been in a few pigs

>>37931573
He forgot to mention that he works for a special needs school.

>>37931561
Fuck that. It's rancid 90% of the time because people can't cook it for fuck.

>>37931570
>>37931573
Tradesmen aren't know for their great intellect. Its just normalfags and their lol le so epic bacon xDD shite.

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>>37931577
Same tbqh

fact: pigs are smarter than dogs

>>37931575
If the guy pretending to be the kid was too forward it could be counted as entrapment.

http://law.jrank.org/pages/1091/Entrapment-two-approaches-entrapment.html

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>>37930413
Even if brexit passes, I will just get the right documents and pay the needed things to return. You cannot end this ride.

>>37931397
But is he a nonce or did he just get attracted to that 1 girl that shown him attention. Maybe he's lonely and mentally fucked that a girl showing him the slightest attention made him infatuated with her and now he's going to jail because he was entrapped

>>37930413
Portugal is our only true ally, though.

I know I'm harking on about it a bit now but WOW this trip...
fucking broke me
in at least 4 ways I can think of, off the stop of my head

>>37931848
Is LSD really this life changing miracle drug? What if I'm genetically predisposed to shitty mental health issues? Will it fuck me up more rather than fixing me?

>>37929742
Went to Download Festival this month. I'm going to Leeds for a day. I've only ever gone to Download so far, but it's been fun. People are mostly friendly and pretty chill, and because it's a rock/metal festival it's not TOO difficult to find equally autistic people to drink with although you have to try not to make it obvious.

It's pretty much like this >>37930061

>>37931848
Don't do naughty drugs if you aren't prepared to face the consequences.

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Just when you feel like life has you beat, meme magic appears to pick you up again

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>decode to look up this polish qt I got on really well with in college
>she's become a complete Instagram slag
I should know better than to look into the past.

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>mummy asks what is in the parcel

Almost told her the truth but managed to keep it together. Very close desu!

What are my lads getting up to tonight then? Going to play Digimon or Tekken soon, haven't decided which yet. Hope you all have an enjoyable evening!

>>37932240
what did you tell her was in the parcel?

>>37932240
What's in the parcel lad?

>>37932275
I just murmured that it didn't matter and went to my room. I somehow think she might already know since she keeps saying she has another daughter now. Very worrying desu.

>>37932297
Did you check if its been resealed

>>37932280
Thigh high socks lad

>>37932337
N-no, I don't think mummy would do that though. She seems very respectful towards me desu

>>37932280
His KKK outfit and lynching rope

>>37932371
wahey, they better be striped ones

My mum opened a parcel for me, and it was an adult baby outfit.

She just said "At least you're not on drugs or in prison"

>>37931866
This dips was ten times more intense than any acid I've ever touched
Made a lot of bad choices today that i will be paying for four months to come
>>37931905
I've done acid before, I thought I knew what to expect
Compass recalibrated, that was my final trip
Sticking with dissociatives from here on out

housemates have a letter from the council and there's a letter from the water company as well

no one's here except me for the next few days, should i open the letters?

>>37932530
Call him and ask him, dont be bohb nah

slow thread lads

>>37932240
planning to watch a couple films followed by some x-files and trailer park boys

lads is it possible to suffer from a psychotic episode that lasts like half an hour

>>37932818
Saturday night and all the normies are out.

>>37932818
considering it's past dinner time too, usually around this time the thread is at its peak

Primary Obsessive OCD.
Depression.
Panic Disorder and agoraphobia.
Body Dysmorphia.

Why did I get all the mental illnesses lads? I just want freedom from this torture.

Reminder Tilde is racist

desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/37489995/#37490432

>>37932135
Are you going to wank to it mate?

>>37932870
That's a shame. I love music and I hate racism.

>>37932858
all 4 of them are complete memes, they arent real lad its all in your head

>>37932908
>it's all in your friend

Yes, yes. You are correct their mate.

>they aren't real

I fucking wish. They've turned me into a sperg.

any older lads that can tell me when it gets easier? im 25 this year and my mental state just keeps deteriorating

>>37932870

wow, that's a massive shame.
got to end my fanposting now.

>>37932932
no, youre just a sperg calling shitty personality traits illnesses in order to absolve you of responsibility for being a sperg

>>37932870
Wish we'd have a hard tildexit

>>37932967

I'm 25 as well and everything is shit. A year or two ago I thought I'd see if anything got better by 30 and if not I'd kill myself.

Since the start of this year everything has just gone even shitter and I'm not sure I'll even make it to 26.

>>37932994
please don't be cruel. I'm suffering. I didn't used to be a sperg until all this happened.

>>37932967

I'm 28 and feel a lot better since getting fit. My life is still lonely wageslavery but I feel happier now.

Lads I think I'm a wrong 'un.

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>>37932870
>>37490513
>base my political views on memes
This is why I can't understand people trying to 'debate' politics on 4chan. Most posters are clueless or simply don't care, they'll just agree with what's popular on /pol/ in fear of being called a cuck by some Yank teenager.

>>37932492
Would rather raise a druggie than one of those

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#Lad
#Jezzer4PM

>>37933149
Don't knock it until you've tried it. I love my baby time.

>>37933199
hope you're the son of adult baby dad

>>37933219
No, but I remember those posts and I considered going to see that woman too.

I once got an adult baby nanny to take me to alton towers with a nappy under my jeans and a humiliating teeshirt on

>want to start a youtube channel reviewing weeb shit in my free time as something to do with my boring mundane life
>have chubby hands and worried I'll get bullied

suffering lads

>>37933325
Dechubbify your hands
Don't let your dreams be dreams

>>37933346
H-how lad, I'm skinny but born to be plagued with fat fingers

>>37933325
Show a bit of arm as well, then

Here's my situation
As far asmy mum thinks I'm at work right now
But i called in sick because of the trip (best case scenario now, a blip on my still fresh yet already squalid 'clean slate'
I couldn't think of an adequate lie and wasn't confident enough in the delivery so I got ready for work and let.
Flash to now, I'm sitting in a maccy dees in the next post code thinking how I'm going to kill the next 7 hours.

Don't do drugs kids.

Mummy and daddy bought me a Switch for my birthday next week lads, who grown adult but treat like a child here. I move out in 2 months, no fucking idea how I'll survive

>tfw manager asked me if i can work a full ahift tonighr and get fri off
>tfw offered to work 5 hours instead but as overtime

working 35 hours a week is painful but its kinda hard saying no to 75quid for 5 hours of slacking off on a sat night with 0 bosses around.

being a wagie is hell

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>>37932818
sorry lad, just woke up. Expect the post quality to go up considerably

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My GP referred me to someone, what do I do now?

>>37933490
referred to who laddo?

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who /takeaway/ tonight?

Thinking pizza

Who's up for some board games in a bit?

ORIGINALE HAHA

>>37933490
Make an effort
For once in your pitiful, fruitless existence.

Sorry lad, didn't mean that, bad day; but that's no excuse for bad manners.
Hope things go better for you

>>37932885
No. She went from a cute grille that I wanted to bone but I always felt below her, to being a complete slut. Where's the fun in it if she just hands over the goods for a piss weak watered down "like" on the internet?

>>37933498
An eating disorder specialist, I assume.

>>37933528
Y-you too, lad. I asked what I needed to do but my GP wasn't very clear

>>37933559
you wait for a letter with the appointment details

>>37933490
Therapist?
You'll probably be waiting 6 months for an assessment and then another 6 months before you actually see anyone.

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What is /britfeel/'s most scary supernatural experience?

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>tfw just beat a hard boss on Digimon

My biggest achievement this month desu!

>>37933463
Morning lad!

>>37933518
just had a chicken kebab wrap with chips, not really a takeaway but I didn't want to spend much

>>37932820
How many films do you have time to watch if you're watching series after that as well?? I'm going to watch either Melancholia or Stalker tonight. Feeling existential desu

>>37933566
Ah, okay. Thanks lad.

>>37933583
wew, thanks for the heads up.

>>37933586
Infinity

Christians see it as a paradise, fools.

>>37933411
Just go to the fucking pictures you nob

I wanna eat Katy Percy's asshole.

>>37933634
*Perry
Damn phoneposting

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>>37933598
last referrals I had the appointment details came within a week and 2 weeks with the appointment for the former been in the same week as the letter and the latter been a month later

>>37933587
"""morning""" tilde, you having a good day/night?


Thought about setting goals today like - Read at least 1 hour, Watch 1 documentary, Play an hour of a video game. Just to stop me from doing nothing again, but I don't think i'll be able to keep up with it. maybe tomorrow haha

>>37933586
>be 16 year old me
>playing CSGO at 3am
>hear 3 knocks on my door
>assume it's my mum or my dad so shout for them to come in
>nobody comes in, assume I'm just hearing things
>go back to counter strike and hear 3 more knocks about 20 minutes later
>get up this time to see who's there
>nobody
>family is all asleep
>bit spooked so 16 year old me google it
>3 knocks of death
>'a warning that someone close to you will fall ill or die very soon'
>don't believe in any of that shit
>grandmother gets seriously ill the next morning

Still don't believe in any of that stuff but I could never explain that night

>>37933586
I found a page of the bible covered in old blood. Although it ain't supernatural or anything like that I did hear strange breathing noises about 9 hours after discovering the bible page. These strange noises lasted about 2 werks before going away.

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>>37933586
Living in my house.

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>>37933678
>last referrals I had the appointment details came within a week and 2 weeks with the appointment for the former been in the same week as the letter and the latter been a month later

>>37933586
I once did a poo poo and a wee wee and when I looked in the toilet bowl they were no where to be found! I swear I didn't flush.

Then when I looked down at my willy it was also gone.

Spooky.

>>37933634
I wanted to see Perry creampied

>>37933597
2 films, Village of the Damned and Gremlins, gonna finish off the rest of season 3

trust me, i've got too much time to kill

>>37933586

>only me and my brother at home for the weekend
>locking the front door before bedtime
>from the door you can see onto the upstairs landing out of the corner of your eye
>see a figure dart from the room on the left, where my brother is, to behind the wall on the right of the landing
>figure my brother is going to hide in the room opposite and jump out to scare me
>sneak upstairs and open the door to the room right next to the top of them
>empty
>check the next room
>empty
>look in my brothers room
>he's been in there the whole time

>>37933586
>>37933728
I also once did a poo poo and when I looked down there was a tooth pick. I don't remember seeing it before the poo, and I also don't remember shitting it out since it looked whole . Very strange desu

Did you ever get your willy back?

>>37933678
If you can't manage an hour then try reducing the time. Even just five minutes is great for a starting point desu. Ganbatte!

>>37933764
Next time I went for a poo poo but not a wee wee, I looked down and my willy had popped back on.

It was so very strange lad haha.

>>37933586
>was my birthday, only about 10 at the time
>went to take the dog out for a walk round the block
>literally peak of the summer
>see a figure all in black, turtle neck and jeans
>but no face, it was blurred out grey
>like some CCTV blur
>got spooked so i hid behind a car
>peaked to the side
>fucking thing disappeared

eerie shit

>>37933586
I once woke up at midnight when I was a kid, I made a thumbs up and brought my thumb down and a fart noise came out.

>>37933796
Haha did you get a bit of an erection when the poo poo came out? I get that sometimes haha

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kek can anyone watching glastonbury confirm this is true?

>>37933837
It's fake

come on robot, get a grip

Any of you smoke cigars? Recommend me some good ones for a starter.

>>37933837

>implying anyone in a Glastonbury crowd is enough of a music fan to come up with a comment like that

Abi, please get off the toilet I need to have a shower

>>37933586
>be me
>wake up in bed
>get out of bed
>walk down stairs
>make myself breakfast
>check my laptop while eating breakfast
>hear noises like footsteps
>look up to see what is happening
>see a man with a bald head, pure white skin, black eyes and a large smile peaking out of the side of my door
>immediately jump up out of my seat and close the door
>grab a near by knife
>check outside the door
>no one there
>checked around all over the house
> no sign that the bald man was here
That is pretty much it.

>>37933836
yeah haha. big old boner lad haha.

Are takeaways that do outdoors like cheese cake and profiteroles having a laugh?
They're always like seven quid, who the Fuck buys them?

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hope mummy bought food worth eating today

>>37933911
I buy them every time

>>37933911
stoners and drunk people

>>37933898
Nah lad that was just Anthony Fantano

>>37933586
>Wake up one morning, broad daylight
>Theres an old woman at the foot of my bed
>Dips below the edge of the bed after about 40 seconds

>>37933586
Sleep paralysis, until I'd googled what it was

I really want to get invested in a nice RPG like skyrim or fallout again, but I no longer have the attention span and mental capacity.

I used to love comfy grinding in the hope of being able to finally beat a hard dungeon boss I've been struggling with. It was goal orientated behaviour that I completely lack these days.

Sigh.

>>37934250
Breath of the wild might take your fancy

I put to many hours in and burned myself on it before I even finished the main quests

>>37934291
if only I had a couple of hundred bong for the console

>>37934250
This is me with Runescape (ignoring the fact the game is a dead meme by now)

What exactly changed in my brain for my drive to utterly disappear even when not depressed? I have no desires nor dreams.

>>37934250

Play some wow lad

>>37934307
You didn't list criteria
I had to assume you had the console, or my advice would be worthless

>>37934250
Skyrim special edition is probably on sale by now, just get it senpai. You'll get the nostalgia of all the old towns/quests along with new content in the DLCs (unless you're a nonjew and actually bought them before).

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Is Clare College lad around?

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>>37933915
breaking - mummy bought fridge raiders and spam, thats my meal.

also eating an apple.

>>37934485
why is ebina a waitress here?

Told my wife last night that I need to live full time as a woman.

She was shocked and took it worse than I thought. She has always been supportive of my crossdressing so I thought she would understand.

Now I know my marriage is over.

>>37934567
hey britnormie hows it going lad

>>37934567
fucking hell, poleaboo's writer really loves the tranny angel.

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Oh no! Ebina and Umaru have lost their faces, quick redraw them!

>>37934589
atleast he's not defending mudslimes again

>>37934589
>>37934594
I'm not britnormie or poleaboo. This is real.

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>moth just landed on my hand for about 10 seconds

>>37934389
What's up, lad?

>>37934644
Moths are friendly, anon

>>37934599

Himouto Umaru Chan episode 14: Helvetica Scenario

anyone looking forward to foo fighters headlining #glasto tonite lads

>>37934710
They're the most boring and most normie band so no

>>37934730
I am a normie. That's why I love them.

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>>37934710
>glastonbury

only thing I'd be looking forward to is a mass casualty terroist attack

>>37934594
>I can be your devil or your angle

Does anyone else identify as a fag?

I know it's an American word, but I love it as a label. I'm always saying to my mates "I'm not gay, I'm a fag"

>>37934633
fuck off you sad cunt. Noone is ever going to publish a book from you britnormie, your writing style is so generic.

>>37934765
>britnormie is a crossdresser
>poley is a tranny
>tilde is a racist
>ebin is a jihadi

christ what a turn of events

>>37934805
Lad, I fucking wish this was just more britnormie bullshit.

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>>37934836
>tfw if there's an attack now they'll probably track me down for posting that

Need a recommendation for something to watch on Netflix lads

I've had a really bad run of watching shit films

Is The Neon Demon any good?

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>>37934599
Fuck this shitty filesize limit, forcing to make my masterpiece into a JPEG.

>>37934878
It's a fun watch. Have you seen any of Refn's other films? I'd recommend Drive or Bronson first, those are better films

>>37934948

Oh, I didn't realise it was the same guy. I've seen both those and really liked them. Evening sorted.

Is it worth importing a JDM car, lads?

>>37935072
My brother imported one last year. Nissan Silvia S13.

He loves it. Lost his virginity after he got it, I think it gave him confidence.

>>37934981
Enjoy it m8. If you want another rec check out Jodorowsky's films. Refn dedicated a couple of his films to him, guarantee it will be like nothing you've ever seen

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>>37934652
Just thought I'd see how you're
doing lad, been a little while. How've your exams been going? I've finished all of mine and with luck I'll be seeing you there in October

Still need to do my student finance despite being nearly a month over the deadline, as well as sort out accommodation

>>37934878
>The Neon Demon
It's pretty silly, might be fun.

Lads really think I need to see a doctor

>have sex with arty girl I met 2 weeks ago
>she was VERY experimental in bed, this was the second ever time I've had sex so I'm not used to any of it
>lubed up her fingers and stuck them in my bumhole when I ejaculated
>shitwassocash.jpg
>anus has bled every time I've had a shit since
>phantom shits every time where I don't need to wipe

T-this is normal right? I've never bled out of my bum lads

>>37935160
That wasn't "her" finger lad.

Seriously though, how would your mum feel if she found out you did that?

>>37935160
Did she have long nails.

>>37935160
Phantom shits are supposed to be healthy right? Like when you don't need to wipe its a sign of a healthy diet?

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I just bought some bits from amazon and some clothes from asos. I've still got some steam games in my cart but I don't want to spend 100 quid in one day. What should I do?

Does liking this song make me a normalfag?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfs8NYg7yQM

>>37935276
How often do you go out and about in your non-work clothes?

>>37935276
I don't believe you are really at that casino with the dog. Take a timestamped photo.

>>37935292
What is this shit, some jewish wannabe bieber?

>>37935160
Hope it was worth it lad.
RIP You will be remembered.

>>37935160
>fingers

hahahha

>>37935292
Quite a bit but I'm still hoping to work in a place with a casual dress code one day.

>>37935319
Dunno I just like the bass in it lad. Its good for driving when you're angery/stressed as fuck.

Anyone else here at glasto?

>>37935345
Get the clothes then lad. With any luck you can snag a bird with your good taste and not need us miserable cunts any more.

I'm at a bar lads. Mate has just went the toilet. There is a band playing and they are pretty good.

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>>37935198
>>37935342
W-what are you getting at lads h-haha
>>37935243
I don't think so, it wasn't painful at all at the time but I was a bit drunk and stoned
>>37935252
Really? I was always thought phantom shits were some unexplained phenomenon in biology
>>37935324
I hope so too lad h-haha, I have a date with her again next week so I hope she doesn't want to fug again and I have to go through this all again

>>37935370
Already ordered. Little chance of the latter happening though.

>>37935422
Well good luck with it. Its the destiny of every /britfeel/er to turn into an old man who marries and tells young lads about his misadventures.

>remember when i was 19-20 and thought a girl was my friend in college.
i still get angry about this occasionally. it's the sheer rudeness of how she avoided conversation. i can entirely understand why someone wouldn't want to talk to an autistic weirdo, that's absolutely fine, but the lying was unjustifiable. there are plenty of polite ways to say "stop talking to me" instead of relying on ambiguous signals ("sorry i'm busy, how about in 3 weeks?") repeated to ridiculousness.

It's a very distant failure now, in comparison to even more subtle actions later on by other people (basically falling into the general tendency to be treated like a ghost - accepted if present, never invited, neither openly rejected nor really accepted.) it's actually positively clear what was happening. I no longer want to talk to anyone, but it still pops up every so often and irritates me.

>"They were careless people... they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made."

EZ big EZ druid EZ

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Holy lmao, a work colleague was bragging about buying an A/C a few days ago, and I made the comment that Britain doesn't have enough hot days to be worth buying one.

I mean it's literally gotten chilly enough that I've started wearing a jumper and the fan's air is too cold.

I can imagine that cunt with his expensive A/C on full blast, shivering away thinking: 'This is fine.'

>>37935589
I bought one the other day. Worth every penny mate. Haven't felt any discomfort at all.

Who would win in a fight?

>An enraged Poleaboo like when he pushed his mum into a wall
Vs
>An enraged Ebin like when he smashes up all his property

>>37935348
can't you see anybody. you sure you're in the right field?

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Watching Spider-Man 2. Still the best (only good?) capeshit.

was thinking about the dam busters earlier bet it's not on kat

>>37935589
Air conditioners warm rooms aswell though lad

>>37935659
Ironman was pretty good.

And Guardians is good just for being able to gawp at Chris Pratt

>>37930691

This came out a few weeks before https://youtu.be/dFOErVWlsxg I've got autism lads

>>37935154
Oh, life's all sorts of trash, but I came out of second year with a first so I'm pretty happy. Best of luck for the exams, let us know, aye?
Get it done, dummy.

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>>37935648
despite being the one taking tranny pills, poley is clearly much more manly.
press F to pay respects to ebin

>>37935738
I really don't like you mate.

>>37935760
that's not very nice katrina

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>>37935776
that wasn't me, I don't mind sophie poster

although I'm feeling quite mentally rough

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>tfw can't find any download links for China's version of House of Cards

>>37935807
>I don't mind sophie poster
my life is complete
did you get anything done today lad?

>>37935807
Go out in the dead of night and kill a chavs dog in its yard lad. Always cheers me up.

So are Foo Fighters just boring now? Were they ever good or was I disillusioned with first rock band syndrome

>>37935839
Have you seen Dead Man's Shoes by any chance? Paddy Considine/Shane Meadows film.There's a scene exactly like that, well worth a watch

>>37935776
>katrina
don't tell me this is ebin's tranny name

>>37935868
The latter. I listened to their first two albums a few years ago and they were so fucking boring. Everlong is a tune though.

>>37935868
everything they turn out is alright, but never inspired. I've never been a fan of dave grohl live
their last single qas quite fun, though

>>37935868
Sorry mate they were always boring. Not bad, not good either, just middle of the road wank

>>37935875
No I haven't. I'll add it to my watchlist though. Does he happen to use a golf club or a house brick to do it?

>>37935888
he hasn't consented to it
[spoiler yet ]

>>37935828
nah I woke up at like 8 or 9pm or something. I'm trying to muster up motivation to do anything.

>>37935839
other peoples dogs scare me desu. I'd rather chase early morning dog walkers with a big stick or axe and scare the shit out of them.

>>37935888
i'm not a tranny, I would shave and crossdress if there was an opportunity but I don't think i'd look very good

>>37935954
Kill dog walkers then lad. They're almost all pieces of shit anyway so no one will miss them.

>I never wana die
>dies on stage

Classic

>>37935925
Oh wait I'm an idiot, I was thinking of Tyrannosaur (another Considine film). They're both great though, Tyrannosaur is about an old, lonely, angry, drunk neet trying to change so you might like that more

he beats the pitbull to death with a bat

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>>37935968
they're all over 65 too so I'm just saving the grim reaper a job honestly. They're mostly obnoxious and for some reason give me disgusting looks like i'm about to mug them or something, most of them don't pick up their shit when on country roads too.

Walk is a tune.

>neighbours launching fireworks

for what fucking purpose

>>37936039
Bats are for uncreative normalfags. I've been considering stealing a fire extinguisher lately and using that.

>>37936047
Fuck them man. OId people are chav tier these days. Killing them off is mercy kill tier.

>>37936072

To demonstrate that you live in a dodgy area

>>37936072
probably some muslim thing

>>37936072
Because they can, runt.

>>37936072
As-salamu alaykum, you're pious neighbours are celebrity the end of ramadan, called Eid, inshallah!

>>37936039
>pitbull
deserved it

>>37936072
>fireworks
It might be a islamic terror cell testing their homemade explosives lad, get the terror hotline called up

>>37936082
what about a bat wrapped in barbed wire? or a mace

>>37936123
>what about a bat wrapped in barbed wire? or a mace
Wanking Dead tier.

Me and a mate discussed if you could actually spill someones eyeball out of their skull with a baseball bat when that aired.

>>37936082
Do it like this desu:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MitumC0mjDo

>>37936123
>pitbull
>deserved it

Agreed desu. The niggers of dogs

All the delusional mongs who defend them by saying that they're the sweetest dogs 'if raised properly' piss me off. Completely ignoring all of the statistics and the fact that they can flip out for no reason even if raised well and maul some kid

Well that wasn't boring

I realise I won the argument earlier, I just wanted you to know that.

How was your Saturday normies?

Half of the weekend gone, tick tock. Hope you didn't waste it.

>>37936153
>average_night_out_in_liverpool.wmv

>driving down the road
>see roastie looking sad
>she had a tesco uniform on and was walking away from the local store
>decide to smile at her when going past
>she gives me the look of disgust

All I was trying to do was brighten up someones day.

>>37936257
Did you follow rules 1 and 2?

>>37936279
What are rules 1 and 2 anon?

>>37936257
>Smile raping an innocent girl

Enjoy prison

>>37936257
sorry i just imagined this hideously deformed monster doing a creepy smile-smirk, haha

>>37936257
Slap her then give her a big smooch. She'll be confused and scared at first but then she'll fall into your arms like soft play-dough.

>>37936315
She looked older than me and a little chubby.

>>37936288
Be attractive
BE Chad

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Goooood evening, /britfeel/!

How are you all feeling tonight?
What are you up to?
Why is the thread so dead tonight?

Hope you're all feeling great and have had a brilliant day whatever it is you chose to get up to!

Anyone know where Lenlad is?

>>37936288
Rule 1: Be Attractive
Rule 2: Don't be unattractive

robot pls

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>>37936257
I don't care for your excuses you mega nonce, 1 billion years in maximum security prison is frankly too lenient tbqh

>>37936345
Lenlad had to go, his home planet needs him

>get a chance with a hot girl
>literally feeling my cock up
>turn her down thinking she has a bf
>find out the next week that he was just a beta orbiter
Reminder to not be considerate of other men lads.

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>>37936362
Still annoyed C4 scapped Sunday Night Heat 2bh

>>37936393
you're like a delta then??

>>37936423
Define a delta please.

>>37936446
>get btfo'd by a beta
>means you're less than a beta
>you're a delta

>>37936462
Nah I beat the shit out of him the week after it all happened because he got all fresh with me. I think that makes be above the betas at least.

>>37936362
PAEDOPH ISLES

>>37936487
sure jay

tfw circumcised
Killllll me

>>37936592
this is a no paki zone, thanks

>>37936524
You don't need to believe me, you just have to ease my mind over turning down the fittest bird I've spoken to.

>>37936511
Quadraspazzed on a life glug

>it's another anon picks at his face out of boredom and now it's a bumpy blotchy mess episode

Why do I always do this, lads

>eat a strawberry
>mouth is now all itchy
ffs

>>37936728
>do anything
>something inevitably goes wrong

thus is the life of a robot.

>>37936728
Wash it next time

I'm the lad who wanked off his dad on Christmas Day in the shed. Just wanted to let you all know that we're back on track now.

>>37936810
lad you think i'm going out into the field to pick fresh strawberries at 11pm?

I watched film the great wall.
I think it was a stupid.
did great disservice to Chinese.
wall didn't need monsters and gadgets to make good film.

>>37935687
you mean the original?

it was being redone. but I don't know what happen to that project.
they had issue with the dog called nigger but were gonna rename it nigsy.

Gonna try for a sleep
Every post of me aches, this day has to end right fucking now

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>>37936842
Woah check out this posh lad! Actually paying for strawberries! I bet he doesn't even have to live off the food of the land to survive h-heh

>>37936842
It has pollen on it's skin, your mouth itches because you have hayfever. So you should wash them next time.

>>37936777
Very accurate desu

>>37936955
sounds like bullshit to me, aren't they washed when they're packed? wouldn't they be pollinated months ago before the fruit has grown?

Anyone ever stayed in a Weatherspoons hotel?

Should I buy a Hauwei?
Xi need not answer

>>37937045
Buy a Xiaomi Hongmi Note 4

anton anton anton dec ant in dec.

ant actually inside of dec.

permanently inside of dec. permanently inside of decs rectum

dirty antondec gay men. homo men dirty dec encourages ant to be inside. permanently inside of dec

dec take ant inside. bum him ye faggot bastids rub a dub ye big fod dec like ant ant inside of dec permanently inside of dec

dec like ant inside

permanently inside

ANT'ON'DEC

>become temporarily crippled
>everyone suddenly very nice to me
>girl I've liked since school came to my house to visit me and see if I'm okay

so this is how you become a normie.. if I become permanently disabled will I be a chad?