/britfeel/

First for Barrow-in-Furness
original first post tbqh

Has britnormie been located yet?

>>37644961
Jokes on you, piglet

I worked today

Got Tuesday off but then I've still got a GP appointment and counselling

>>37644998

How's it going?

THE NORMIE SECRET JUTSU

WHO FUCKING WANTS IT, AYE? WHO WANTS IT. ILL HAVE ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.

they dont call me the gobstopper for anything

london bots. who wants to visit this little lady with me this week?

adultwork.com/3536337

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Feels good knowing hard brexit is cancelled lads

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>>37644961
Are there any interesting things that a friendless, carless NEET with 1000bong spare can do this summer?

I don't want to spend another summer in my shit town in the middle of nowhere.

>>37645012

Are you talking about anal sex

>>37645028
go on holiday? fucking loser

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>>37645012
Just fucking try you cunt, I'll have you hospitalised

>>37645023
this picture is very reddit

That's it.

What the fuck are you lot doing for dinner tonight?

Scraping what I can together tonight, nothing decent in.

>>37644994
Saw a lad the other day posting about tracking me down and saying he's close, but the thread was archived before I could comment.

Although he also said that the Google satellite image of where I live is blurry, which isn't true at all.

>>37645078
mummsie did lamb shanks

>>37645010
Not good

I thought figuring out the normies secret conversation starting technique, I'd be able to socialise at work but today I realised I was still completely clueless once the conversation has been initiated

>>37645065
New guy at work looks exactly like this pepe

>>37645072
Doesn't she have HIV?

>>37645017
404 - what's the username?

>>37645045


Bit angry lad, he's only looking suggestions

lads, how fussy are passport application bureaucrats? I accidentally wrote the wrong passport number down at one point (put dad's number in my mum's passport section) but carefully wrote over it to the point where it's scruffy but essentially legible. If you look carefully you can tell there were other numbers there but yeah.

>>37645128
its easy to get a new form. wouldn't risk it desu.
if they take your money then tell you nah you fucked up apply again.

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>tfw no brit but posting in /britfeels/

Feels good to part of the community.

>>37645128
If they can read the number it's fine.

Where are you going?

>>37645151
either get a vise or fuck off. if you want to be part of the community, do it properly.

>>37645151
go to krautchan you disgusting sausage muncher

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>>37645164
How do you do it properly anon ?

>>37645148
problem is the appointment at the HRPassport place is tomorrow, so unable to get a new form from the post office. They can't be printed off can they?>>37645152
Hope so lad. You sure? Tenerife, next Saturday. A good friend of mine split up with his girlfriend acrimoniously and he'd bought her tickets and everything. Such a good mate that he's not even bothered about me paying for it (four star hotel, water park). I offered to go halves on the holiday with him but he declined, I'm gonna treat him somehow though.

>>37645151
Fuck off, filthy Euro

>>37645179
you have to get a britfeel visa. i dont have one. you're gonna have to see if someone here will give you one.

>>37645092

Well at least you've got the first line down.

>>37645102
>lasts longer than 10 seconds

FAKE

>>37645215
Being a paki is worse and you know it, that's why you hate yourself so much, you call center piece of shit.

>>37645179
he might have been talking about a visa. some of our non brit lads have a visa which allows them to post for a short time. I don't have a copy of it but i'm sure some decent anon would help out.

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>>37645078
had my meal

tiger loaf, some spam, some chicken, ice cream and and apple - all cold ofcourse.

>tfw half hour fap
>when you're edging so long your mind slips into an animalistic state where you just want to blast your massive edging nut inside some thicc woman and make her preggers

>>37645236
At least I'm British

Still 10 tiers among peoples of every other nation

I'm a British person

>puppy is going to be allowed to go on walks so
>means i'm going to have to pick up shit
>absolutely squeamish as fuck
don't know how i'm going to handle this lads, nobody asked me if i'm ok with dog shit

>>37645257
you are even a real person, just some weird cunt pretending to be a paki.

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Any decent anon willing to give a Yurofag a britfeel visa ?

>>37645257
You're not British. You'll never be accepted as British. You already know this.

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>>37645271
go on muddy back paths, nobody picks it up appreantly. Have to constantly check the ground to see the shit and keep jumping over it, sometimes the lines are blurred between mud and shit and you have to take risks

>>37645271
You should have realised this was inevitable when you got a dog.

Lads what do I do in Ashford, Kent for a summer?

>>37645335
to quote myself 'nobody asked me if i'm ok with dog shit;

>>37645257
Wrong. You filthy paki, back to your shithole where people worship a paedo

>>37645291
I have paki ancestry though it doesn't define me

>>37645295
Only an extreme minority would reject me
Though even racists here MOSTLY accept me as honorary white

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>>37645271

>doggo takes a shit
>continue with walk as normal

Its that simple lad

Or you can carry around plastic bags full of dog shit because women LOVE that t b h

>>37645352
>Though even racists here MOSTLY accept me as honorary white
Utter bollocks. We call you a paki every single day, notice noone defending you.

>>37645359
the only place to walk a dog around here is the beach where there is always tons of people

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All the things you care about don't matter

2000 years from now, the few people who are remembered will be mentioned in a completely unemotional way. Like the way we mention Alexander the Great or Caesar now, a random tidbit from people's school life. Racemixing, ISIS, the islamification and erosion of European culture, Trump. All of it will be lost to time, the only people who'll be even aware of it will be history buffs.

Humanity might not even still exist in 2000 years. Why waste your life getting so caught up in and stressed about things you have no control over? Things that matter so little they might as well have never happened in a blink of the universe's eye. Try it, whenever you feel yourself getting riled up stop and think about why you even care.

>>37645271
You don't actually have to touch the faeces; you can often buy scented biodegradable bags at your local Pets at Home which mean you don't even smell it, either

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>>37645292
Here you go lad. Make sure you post it tomorow to get it renewed

>>37645412
lad, i was very nearly vomiting when i used to shovel some up, also picking up cat sick through a bag almost made me throw up

>>37645352
only way youre going to overcome your internal hate is to learn to love your pakiness

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Any birmingham lads on?

I'm sick of seeing all these faggot pride events and shitskins all over the place.

>picking up dog shit

>dog food

these are the reasons why i am probably not going to get a dog

>>37645461
Loving me dark skin, hairline and nose mean loving my rapist father

>>37645468
Is that gif from the Creepshow movie?

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>>37645422
Thank you lad ! Visa saved.

>tfw in r9k for 4 years
>tfw /britfeel/ was like a secret society to me
>tfw part of it now

>>37645479
One day we will have pet pakis instead of pet dogs

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>>37645479

Still cleaner and better than a bastard catto

>>37645488
where do you hail from lad.
glad to have you with us

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>>37645488
Here's a higher quality version of that image for you lad

>>37645488
I didn't vote leave for this

>>37645481
so your hate for yourself springs from your hate for your father.

funny im in therapy for the same thing.

>>37645468
Not Birmingham but the same problems.

>>37645508
>he doesn't let his cat out to shit in his neighbours garden

>>37645488
here is some advice to help you assimilate

everyone here hates a trip fag called moni and we all love two posters called ebin and tilde

if anyone tells you otherwise they are moni

>>37645522
Hey, I hate my mum too

Anyway, not like there's a cure for this, I'm always going to have half his genes

>>37645508
>clean themselves
>bury their shit
>or shit and piss in the neighbours garden for a laugh

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>>37645529
are you my neighbour? their cat keeps shitting in the garden, i've even chased it away with a broom like 3 times already.

>>37645511
From the northern french lands.
How about you lad ?

>>37645567
>implying you're any better than a cat

>>37645567
Does everyone in this thread live on the same terrace...

>>37645540
i dunno, i've got to say i like anon myself.probably 1 of my fav posters desu. anon's probably my 2nd fav after anon,i really do rate the quality of their posts.

>>37645540
Germans AKA Germs, will never assimilate into /britfeel/, their native culture is simply too alien

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>>37645581
Hope not, I absolutely detest my neighbours despite not interacting with them. I don't even know or care about them yet they watch me everytime I leave the house, one time I had to slam my brakes and started smashing my horn untill they closed the curtain and stopped watching me, they were even watching when I reversed out at like 3:30am

>>37645540
here's some better advice, most people don't give a fuck about tripfags, you have to go back

>>37645588
this is really low quality humour, you should be ashamed

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>start pressure washing patio at 1pm
>have break at 3:30
>tension from parents as they think my passport renewal form is too messy to be accepted and I have the renewal appointment tomorrow (I made one of three allowable writing errors and have poor handwriting)
>go back out to continue pressure wash job at about 4
>hose won't attach
>about five minutes pass as I try to attach hose to karcher
>"anon why is this taking so long"
>keep trying to fix it
>"why the fuck does this fucking take so fucking long, why do you never fucking help us with anything"
>"what the fuck have you done to the hose"
>"anon, I want to see that letter your uni sent you. Tell me where in your room it is because I don't trust you not to edit out what we can and can't see".
>letters contain correspondence with GP for OCD-like intrusive thoughts about being a rapist and being labelled a rapist by my peers as well as the fact that I was stalked and sexually violated by a gay kid on my course
>letters confirm that I can suspend my uni placement until such a time that I am mentally recovered (september next year) to return to study
>flip the fuck out as I've essentially just been called a liar
>want to deal with this immediately and discuss the letter straight away
>get locked out in garden "fucking do the fucking patio now"
>at this point I fly into an autistic rage and try to force the door open, start repeatedly slamming head against window
>eventually give up and climb onto roof into bedroom window, grab letters and bring them down for parents to see
>mum starts saying I have no appreciation for her and that I publicly shamed her by telling the GP about her history of paranoia
>"it was only one fucking paranoid episode and it was grounded in reality"
>she unironically once told me years ago to watch the broadband engineer in case he planted CP on the family computer and tried to pin it on her and yet her paranoia "didn't come from nothing" apparently

oregano

Tfw leave saucers of poisoned milk out for local cats

>>37645578
yorkshire. northern england.
not really much more to say as i am a bit of a dullard. but wanted to say hello.

>>37645545
I say the same thing to my therapist, its a lot like the movie "the fly" your stuck with these genes you cant get rid of.

im coming the this, I wont say conclusion but weve been talking about it for a good year now.
theres this "everyman" whose able to take the best parts of both his ancestries and use it wisely. like a wise man.

the only issue im having atm is finding positive qualities in the genes I don't like.

>>37645637

You all sound fucking nuts. Why the hell did it take you so long to wash the patio anon?

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>>37645609
Must be terrifying to have the same people staring at you everyday.

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My sister just cheated on my brother in law of 19 years, with his best mate.

Fuck women desu

>>37645619
yeah well ya mum thinks i'm funny.

>>37645709
i really hope you make her feel worthless, please don't let her get away with it scotfree

>>37645619
i know
but as a brainlet,it's all i've got to work with, senpai

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>>37645709
>Falling for the vaginal jew

He had it coming for him lad.

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>>37645708
I don't even know who it is, I thought a single guy lived two doors down but its always a women in her late 50s/early 60s whos looking out. She was the one looking out at 4am too.

maybe its a ghost or something, she just stares till i'm away, really puts me off ever going out

>>37645709
haha his tiny white cock couldn't please her, bets she's been gobbling paki cock for years

>>37645713
aye, you are pretty funny looking

>>37645744
ghosts are really cool

i like seeing them

>>37645709

It's enough to make you wish you were gay

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What have you all had to eat this evening then lads?

I have had a sammich and yogurt desu. Still feel a bit hungry but I am scared I'll end up losing control~

I would like for you all to eat something tonight, not too much and not too little. But I will be happy so long as you try your best~

>>37645540
Aww I love you too anon~

>>37645817
Chocolate cake and custard

>>37645817
might try eat my cum again

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tempted to order the fourth takeaway this week, I'm too dependant and wasting too much fucking money

I wish I could cook lads, my student loans are drained and I have to keep asking mummy for top ups

Can I pull this off?

https://marketplace.asos.com/listing/hoodies/new-in----yellow-acid-wash-hoodie/2932943

>>37645637
(cont'd)
>get told I never help around the house and that I've done fuck all work on the patio despite her saying it was looking good only a couple of hours before
>she literally saw me doing the patio for about two hours straight
>says "so because of this letter you don't have to help around the house anymore", calls me a burden
>still chooses to ignore the fact that I had zero problem with doing the patio for more than two hours and would have continued and have never once refused to help around the house on "mental health grounds" or whatever
>autistic rage intensifies
>start throwing shit around the kitchen like a retard, hit frying pan against fridge
>mum is still screaming at me about doing the patio and how I've done a shit job/barely anything, again despite her praising it just a few hours earlier
>dad restrains me, start full on freaking out like an autist at this point, get dragged out the room, throwing stuff with my feet and shit while screaming

I've fucked it. I hate myself. I am what is known as an awful human being. You only get one life, and I've fucked mine.

oregano

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>>37645858
are there cooking appliances in your huose? Want me to talk you though some basic things you can cok anon? Legit question

>>37645858

Cereal breakfast
Toast lunch
Pasta dinner

The poorfag diet works wonders anon

>>37645744
Ebin just get a trip, you won't have to keep reusing these shit images everyday.

>>37645683
it's a big old patio and it takes a while to get all the stains out. The aforementioned faulty hose was also prone to popping out of the machine mid-spray and taking ages to fix back on.

>>37645875
I tried cooking stuff on BBC food but it's all too complex and time consuming

also I get really bad anxiety cooking with other people around

>>37645899
too embarrased to use a trip tbqh

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>>37645905
what has you so busy you cant commit the time to cook anon?

>>37645902

Even so mate, you were at it for 2 1/2 hours and still not done. Seems like a shit way to spend a Sunday.

Need a silver chain to go with my polo shirt desu. Going for the working class look.

>>37645930
other people might want to use the hob

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>>37645946
im confused, should you not have some right to use it as well??

>>37645914
How's it more embarassing than using an anime girl being overly embarassed when you're a cynical grown man?

>>37645954
lenlad, just one quick photo of your knees in shorts please

>>37645028
I can take you to Thailand and get you laid atleast 5 times on that cash lad.

>>37645954
Len what is your thought on muslims. Do we need to kick them all out or are they alright?

>>37645990
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIWskTD5J8

We've known for years

>>37645817
Your arse lah.

>>37645954
not sure if this is the real lenlad or hes posting while getting railed

yo who's /north east/ here?
i'm curious

>>37646086
North West warrior here

>>37646086
North west is a best.

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>text few friends over the weekend
>only reply i got was someone trying to sell some shitty weed

>>37646096
>>37646099
north west stronk

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Just downloaded Black Desert online lads.

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Milk Cat 83

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>everyone on normiebook who suddenly became a fountain of knowledge about politics has finally stopped

>>37645081

That was me, Anyway, I've been searching the square kilometer between the train station and the shopping mall. I've brute forced every street and I'm pretty sure I must be looking in the wrong area.

I have given up anyway, I wasn't going to commit more than a day to it. I'm sure I could given enough time, but I just didn't have the motivation.

Saw a young paki riding down the street on a pink barbie bike, immediately reminded me of poleaboo

too much updog in britfeel

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>>37645422
>tfw I told some yank to show me this bird picture a few months back and now it's the official britfeel visa
Beautiful

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AND WEEEEEEEEEEEE DON'T EVEN CARE

AS RESTLESS AS WE ARE

you do all realise that poleaboo is just a character?

>>37646086

North shields here

Paki stole my dad's bike. Absolutely livid lads.

>>37646238
we are all characters, didn't you realise

>>37646246
Newcastle here, homie

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>Every normiefag on normiebook post a pic of graduation celebration

Why didn't i delete my normiebook account yet ?

>>37646265

Great stuff mate, I feel like we've really bonded.

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E3 in two hours. Get ready, nerds.

>>37646274
Polish girl probably has something up

Might check in a while

>>37646281
I know mate, I can feel myself becoming closer to you.
/r9k/ is a wonderful place

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Do you guys actually get >tfw no gf.

Personally, it seems like it'd be more trouble than it's worth. I have friends, and I have my right hand. To me, I think it'd be a lot of complication that I don't really need.

Plus, I have my waifu to fill the hole in my heart.

Post 'em.

>>37646296
creepy paki
disgusting

>>37645674
What other issues you working through?

>>37646289
actually the press conference aren't an official part of e3 and the they've already started, learn the semantics avatar fag

>>37646300
>>tfw no gf.

sometimes. usually get it when i have been outside because of seeing happy couples together.

>>37646300
I have no friends or family so I just get >tfw no social life, part of it is >tfw no gf/qt bf obviously.

>>37646329
Fine, Microsoft's conference is starting in two hours. Happy?

>>37646340
yes. was that so hard?

I have a suspicion ebina keeps making these threads >>37645677

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West Country is Best Country.

>>37646374
>Cornwall is west country

>>37646355
If we're being picky, you should probably learn to use capitalisation and put a comma before a noun. Is that so hard? :^)

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I want to use Tilde's bum as a fleshlight!

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What should I call my character on Black Desert lads?

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>Mum tells me that my grandad wants some help with his computer
>Ask her what the issue is
>He wants some spreadsheet software installed
>This should be easy
>Go to his house, go into his study
>CRT monitor
>This should be good, probably a 14 year old XP computer
>Push power button
>Windows 95 loading screen
>Pic related
>Find a stash of CDs in his drawer
>One is 'Lotus 1-2-3'
>Install it
>It works

I seriously wasn't expecting that lads

>having a job
I'm a drug dealer making 1k a day.

>>37646436
But surely being a drug dealer is job.

>>37646432
All my grandparents are dead desu

>>37646420

Y-Fu

>>37646462

Sorry to hear that anon

My grandad has also been without internet since BT stopped providing dial-up in 2013 and he didn't know how to find an alternate supplier (He assumed dial-up was stopped completely)

>>37646449
>But surely being a drug dealer is job.
Pas vraiment, senpai.

>>37646420
Chingy Chongerson

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>past 8pm
>no one has had any dinner
>thinking of making myself something
>good chance if i ask "whats for tea?" an argument might erupt

>>37646300
I used to a lot. Now I only get it when i befriend a qt girl, then my brain kicks in and says "mate, what are you doing. a gf is a massive uncomfy commitment"
Much prefer having my life to myself, fuck compromising.

>>37646436
>I'm a drug dealer making 1k a day.

wew lad. you trying to incriminate yourself?

>>37646436
You make like 3 times what the prime minister does ffs

That's not fair

>>37646552
vpn, brobot

>>37646400
oooo profs getting uppity because he's got an o-level in english

>>37646565
fair enough then. i know some fellas that got done from a phone call and texts

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Playing Life is Strange lads, was just expecting some hot lesbian college girl romance, not too feel

>>37646246
>North Shields

S-same

>>37645578
france fascinates me because of all the old stuff it has, and the norman invasion. would love to visit but i am too british and foreigners would hate me.

>>37646528
>not having a roast at 1pm or 6pm
broken britan desu

>>37645045
I don't like foregin.

>>37646413
Please post penis.
mk

>>37646591
>starts an argument about semantics
>surprised when he gets an equally autistic response
woah

>>37646656
convince me.

You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was not original.

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Felicity is getting married

>>37644961
>wagecucks on suicide watch
Did something happen? Or is it just because it's monday tomorrow?

>>37646686
*Whoa.
corrected that for you, prof

>>37646686
>>37646722
Kek, rekt m8.

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>>37644961
>Wagecucks on suicide watch edition
>tfw I'm off next week

>>37646703
Rogue One was infinitely better than Force Awakens.

>>37646741
Wow, one whole week off? Lucky you. Must make the other 51 really fly by

>>37646757
They do 2bh

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>>37646703
the last english woman is gone
gone

but we never had a chance anyway

>>37646753
i actually agree tbqh

>>37646200

Updog? What's that?

>>37646799
Not much bro, u?

might have a wank lads

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>>37646711
>Or is it just because it's monday tomorrow
It is

>shadowing the CEO tomorrow

Not gonna lie, I'm kind of panicking.

>>37646700
Because I want to see it and you'll get plenty of attention from boys like tilde

>>37646850
Kill him and take his place. That's how he got the job.

>>37646859
Too late I blew my load.

Maybe tomorrow instead.

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>>37646840
Okay, lad, but you have to fap to Holly.

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>my only happiness comes through reliving my childhood

I don't think this is healthy lads.

>>37646943
unless your childhood was eating scolding hot rocks, I think you'll be fine

If odds, I sign up for POF

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>>37644961
>Mother texts me saying "I thought you would've sent your mother a card on her birthday yesterday"

Fuck off woman, I barely remember my own age why would I remember yours. You're almost 50 anyway, grow up cunt.

>>37647002
Bad luck, lad. Could've got some post-prime single-mum pussy.

Lads ive been on omegle for 9 hours and still haven't gotten any human interaction.
This used to be so ez when i was younger.

>>37647111
my mummy is the kind that does anything for you without expecting the least bit of thanks all year. but if you forget her birthday she'd go absolutely ballistic

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>>37646887
>Maybe
Don't try to short-change us, senpai.

>>37647150
I will post my penis at exactly 18:00 tomorrow. Unless my shift lasts a bit longer, in which case I'll post it in my hotel room since I'm working away.

Ex was in the hospital all last night with severe sickness, thought something could be wrong with the kid, fucking what myself lads. Went in to see her today and was there for almost 5 hours
>TFW walked past her dad in the waiting area and smiled at him with a shit eating grin.

>>37647187
Can you do it from the front or below, wanna see the balls too

>>37647231
Asking a bit much there lad.

I thought by the end of the second week I'd stop calling in sickies but since I've been doing nothing but getting high and eating junk for 2 weeks I no longer fit into my clothes.

I think I'll have to pull another weeks worth of sickies just to shed this weight.

>>37647244
I guess your shaft after your shift is fine too

>feel sad
>listen to sad music
>realise everyone involved in making that song has a life 100 times better than me
>feel worse

>>37647272
Yeah mate. Keep calling in with sickes and no doctors line. Enjoy not getting shifts.

>>37647231
I wish someone cared that much about my penis.

>>37647329
HEY NOW
YOU'RE AN ALL STAR
GET YOUR GAME ON
GO PLAY
HEY NOW
YOU'RE A ROCK STAR

Just got back from Download. The security was appalling but I didn't get bombed, so it was nice.

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>>37647187
Based. Thank you for your compliance.

>>37647294
Post your qt butt in return.

>>37647363
>Download
Oh Wow people still go there.
Reading/Leeds is where it's at lad.

a few weeks more college left then i have 2 months off until me mams child bennies stop 'nd i av to go off into the real world and git a job (or sign up for bennies meself)

How hairy is your arse lads? Mines got to be a solid 7 at this point

>>37647372
Just thinking of all the options
>loose pj bottoms that show off the shape and tease
>tight black pants with slightly open legs to show off a bulge
>from the top to show off how big it is
>from underneath to show that im in heat

>>37647416
Mines a 10 if I let it grow out but I shave it regularly. I hate the feeling of belly button fluff/shit knotted into your ass hairs.

>>37647416
me arsehole is hairy enuf that i've genuinely considered de hairing it for hygiene reasons

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>>37647462
From the top.

>>37647392
Both are shit. Download is probably more shit these days though.

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>>37647462
>>tight black pants with slightly open legs to show off a bulge

just ate 120g of chopped onions
very tasty

Why are you guys such fucking bufties?

>>37646897
nah sorry lad no can do, wanked to something really gay

>>37647416
proper hairy it matches the rest of me.

>>37647587
I just really really want to fuck a cute boy. I want to press him against a wall and rail his shapely bum while whispering lewd things into his ear. Maybe choke him a bit. Also orgasm denial.

>>37647622
>rail his shapely bum
that's not a thing boys are supposed to have you prison gay bitch

>>37647622
>orgasm denial
>not hours of forced milking

>>37647581
raw or cooked? I do like a bit of raw onion, I once ate one like an apple

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>Spend months making a ton of Anti-South African posts on /pol/
>Have just gotten my 4th South African gf

I mean I do hate 99% of the cunts, but by pure coincidence I've had 4 South African gfs. In fact I've never had a non-SA gf

>>37647635
Yeah but some of them do and I want one of them.

>>37647642
>not teasing him for hours on end until he sprays his milky cum everywhere and passes out from pleasure

How do I use the jobcentre? Do I just walk in and ask to get help? I'm sick of not hearing back from places I've applied to I just want a job for the summer.

>>37647652
raw, mum was making shepherds pie earlier today and about to throw the leftover away

>>37647674
you've got a bit mixed up lad. The jobcentre is where you go if you DON'T want a job.

>>37647674
apply online, they will tell you to piss off if you just walk in there

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>hurr I totally want a cute boi to fug I'm not just a mentally weak retard I swear

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LeedsLad. Fancy bringing your gf along to a meet?

>>37647697
I think the waifuposters are going to have a meltdown when they see gay men still look like...men.

>>37647622
I did this with a cut skinny girl with a shapely bum.
It got me in more shit than was worth it lad.
Least it was the a guy I guess. Fucking poof.

>>37647697
I openly admit I'm an ugly 8 stone hairy lad.

>>37647727
>Tilde offers a handjob
>Has mungo hands that are disgusting and look like my grandad's.
I'll pass.

>>37647727
I don't know, I had to turn off feminine crossdressing stuff the other day cause I just wanted to see two normal guys instead - worried me a bit tbqh

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>>37647744
It was a bad angle desu!

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>>37647674

>How do I use the jobcentre?

Sign on every two weeks to get your bennies

They have no interest in finding you work whatsoever

Unless you will work for free

>>37647774
Post a good angle so I can tug one out pretending its your cute hands doing it

>>37647781
>On the jsa
>Get sent to a working links thing
I ended up finding a job on my own no ThankS to them but bet they took the fucking credit.

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This is now a ESA NEETs thread!

>>37647794
He can take pics all day long and choose the best one and he'll still have grandad's hands.

>>37647837
Fuck off Tilde is a cute boy.

>>37647823
>Currently imagining just how fun it would be to be a meganeet and insist on living the farce of running a company out of my bedroom with my parents playing along with it despite nothing about it being real at all.
>Every time they come up just talking to them in fake business terms about contracts regarding the time of my dinner delivery and handing them a business card at the end of every conversation

>>37647794
>U-Uh tomorrow or maybe next week or maybe in a few months
T.Every 'fem' boy in these threads ever.

I just woke up from a dream where I was in Northampton at about 4:45am.

was wondering around and Nightwalk anon wanted a lift home to Kettering, to which I obliged, feeling in a particularly good mood. BritNomie was sat on the pavement busking, and me and Nightwalk anon both gave him a couple of quid each.

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>>37647887
I promise I will post my legs within the next few days, a week at most~

I promise lads!

>>37647941
Don't bother. No one gives a fuck

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One week ago today, a britfeel meme appeared in the Sunday Sport

>>37647392
I'm going there for a day too desu.

**I feel even more lonely now, though. h-hehe...**

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>weather says its not going to rain
>massive black clouds everywhere

Just want out for a nice cycle lads

>>37647996

>trusting the barometric jew

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>>37647941
but i might do something lewd while looking at them tilde

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Decided to take a picture of my hand lads. Thoughts?

anyone watching the e3? thank god for it, makes me feel less lonely now

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I just thought of the episode where Hal admits he's been taking every Friday off without telling anyone.

Just one of those episodes you don't really get until you're an adult.

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>>37648052
Wank my cock off with it please

>>37648066
I am. Watching Giant Bomb talk over the conferences.

>>37647941
D-Do it now lad.

>>37647955
Stop bullying the qt boys.

>>37648052
They look nice and strong desu. Bet they are warm to hold~

>>37647941
>within the next few days, a week at most~
t.Every 'fem' boy in these threads ever. Just keep putting it off m8

>>37648128
to be fair tilde you did promise them last year then disappeared for a year

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New meme: doopin

Let's go doopin mental, lads!

>>37648052
Very hairy arms m8, not impressed.

I only want to see pictures from effeminate twinks.

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I am going to go and prep my legs right now! Pictures coming tomorrow!

>>37648197

for fuck sake i am seething

>tfw your friend gets salty with you cause he can't beat you in tekken
>goes and plays your main in treasure battle and says he's clearly overpowered and has no weaknesses so that's why I beat him
>forgets that I went easy on him for a few games by playing characters I've never touched before and still beat him every time while guessing at moves

first time experiencing true salt from being good lads, feels pretty nice desu, just hope he doesn't stay this salty!

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lads, I really need to start walking and running outside but I don't feel safe (despite living in a safe area). What weapon (LEGAL) can I be carrying? should I get a small flip knife or something?

all ideas welcome

>>37648201
Tonight please.

I'll post my cock if you post your cute legs.

>>37648247
Lad, if you're so frightened of the outside world you want to carry around a knife despite living in a safe area do you actually think you'd be able to pull it out and use it?

>>37648201
who gives a fuck you degenerate

>>37648066
I'll watch the Sony one, not fussed about the rest unless something funny happens

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>>37648247

One of these bad boys lad

Just be careful, you could get life for carrying one

>>37648233
>stop spamming the same moves
>stop cheesing
>stop doing those combos
>stop using throws
>stop doing that
>stop doing this

Why don't we just fucking take turns punching each other then? For fucks sake

I've had a girlfriend for almost 9 months now.

Ask me anything.

>>37648274
probably not, but I can't take walking outside by myself, when someone is approaching me I panic heavily. I started legging it from a random guy the other morning

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>>37648283
OI YA CHEEKY BUGGA WHAT YOU GOT DERE?

>>37648310
You need some /britfeel/ bodyguards to protect you and let you walk in peace

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Press the red button to access additional /britfeel/ content.

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>>37648310

>go out walking with knife
>see local youths
>pull out knife because you are hard as fuck
>they take it and shove it up your ass

Sounds like a great plan

>>37648341
Is the additional content Tilde preparing his legs? or is it just the Poleaboo post by post commentary track again.

>>37648289
he's salty as fuck cause he throws shit pokes at me and I punish him every time with a fast counter, and he basically says I just spam a move that he can't do anything against kek

>tfw look really shifty and fucked up so no one bothers you

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>>37648348
I'm not hard as fuck, I'd wait till they're in close proxmity behind me if they're trying to ambush then turn around and quick stick it in their neck and leg it, pictured this exact scenario the other day while I had my back turned to some youth

>>37648364
Commentary track today with a follow up behind the scenes with PM Kev

>>37648374
Can't he side dodge? or... you know... block and punish?

Anyone else had their view of relationships/love fucked up by their parents?

Mine were never married, even though dad proposed. they're relationship was never happy, i only saw them kiss or express any sort of love a few times - i just thought that was normal. they split when i was about 10, for some reason my mum hates my dad but he still loved her.

dad quickly got married to someone else but she was a bitch and they were on&off for a couple years.

he then found another girlfriend who was from some eastern european shithole. she claimed she had rich family or some shit like that and was promising us money etc. dad fell for it because he's a fucking moron. they broke up after a year or two and he's been single for the past 6-8 years or so.

my mum was single the whole time after she broke up with my dad. when I was about 18 she got a boyfriend who seemed pretty good for her. however, she used to cheat on him repeatedly (dunno if she still does). They are still together somehow (have been together now for about 5 years) but i've always felt like their relationship was on a knife's edge. I can tell she's only with him because she likes the security, and i think he realises this but he's afraid to be alone or whatever.

He also proposed to her but i think she said no or just put it off or whatever because they're still not married.

how the fuck was I meant to form relationships myself when i've been exposed to all this sort of shit throughout my teens and early 20s?

anyone else experienced this sort of thing? how did it affect you?

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Moni is this you?

>>37648393
yeah I told him where he's going wrong so hopefully he practices

it actually got a bit boring beating him like 13 games in a row, and I'm not even a great player so I've never done that before, there's so many holes in my game which is why it was funny him saying that my main is just too powerful and complete to beat

>>37648398
> my mum was single the whole time after she broke up with my dad
>however, she used to cheat on him repeatedly

Think your mum has a huge complex of "chad-titlement" Keeps thinking she can do better and deserves those chads doesn't want to ever truly commit (somehow having a child isn't actually commitment) so she doesn't feel bad if chad comes along tomorrow and sweeps her off her feet HAHAHAH YEAH RIGHT.

Also I know its beyond a meme at this point but the behaviour of western women truly repulses me.

>>37648376
Getting clever lad. But if you're going for te nexk you should slash for the left side of their neck at the jugular. For stabbing you should aim for their temple to be sure they do down for good.

>>37648375
the other day i overheard someone tell their friend they thought i was going to hit them. got a very grim resting face.

>>37648441
Too white and not ugly enough.

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>>37648398
My parents are stuck in a loveless marriage and rarely talk. I don't want to date anyone short term because that seems hollow but a committed long term relationship terrifies me now.

>>37648441
When You Were Partying I Studied The epilator

When you were having premarital sex I mastered the oestrogen

While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity i cultivated binging and purging

and now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come and ask for MY boipussy?

has britfeel started carrying a knife when going out since the terrorist attacks?

it ain't right that we can't even legally arm ourselves against these batshit muzzies

>>37648465
I also have heavy bags under my eyes and people always assume I've been up all night on drugs even when I havent

>>37648455
I was absolutely devastated when I found out my mum was cheating on her boyfriend. It genuinely has fucked up my view of women more than any women I've known myself. If even my mum, who I thought was lovely and incapable of that sort of thing, would cheat on a guy who loves her and provides for her, what fucking chance to I have?

>>37648484
yeah same with me. I have a deep issue with commitment and I'm almost certain my mum and dad are the root cause.

>>37648493

>deflect the nail bomb with his pen knife

nah m8 im not a raging pussy

>got a deep sharp pain up my bum again

beyond uncomfy lads

>>37648525
check pooper for cancer

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>>37648493
>These muslims are raping women and bombing our cities
>Enough is enough, I'm getting out the box cutter

>>37648518
>I was absolutely devastated when I found out my mum was cheating
Can imagine mate, wouldn't be able to look at my parents the same way if something like that was going on.

Also like a girl I know even said to her last boyfriend "I liked you so much that I didn't even cheat on you" because she always ends up cheating on them. FFS I don't understand how people are like this, why is this ok.

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>>37646300
>tfw, no tin opener
having to open a tin of condensed milk with a big knife.
I;ve had rice crispies with custard(v nice),with choc custard(not v nice)
now trying with condensed milk. it's not as nice as with custard,desu

>>37648525

i've been getting this once or twice a month for the past year, it always happens in the middle of the night and wakes me from my sleep its that painful, i have to get out of bed when it happens.

i try going for a shit but its really not that kind of pain, i've read that i shouldn't worry as a certain muscle can spasm which causes the pain but i'm not sure its that

>>37648584
>why is this ok
fuck knows. probably women empowerment or some bollocks like that.

I think the best thing to do is just assume/pretend a woman won't cheat on you, but if you find out she is, dump her immediately with no second chances. I hope I have the strength to do that if it ever happens to me.

>>37648623
Tin openers must be pretty cheap

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>>37644961

my dudes how do i get myself on the dole so i can rake in those neetbucks so my parents don't kick me out of the house

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anyone else have a dysfunctional household? Moved out 3 years ago but heard my sister and dad cant even see eachother any more, sucks people cant get along :( they damn near broke my family apart when i lived there, cant imagine what its like now

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>>37645151
Brexit means Brexit, lad. Get the hell out.

>>37648518
You just thought she was so amazing because she's your mum.

It doesn't mean "Even the best woman in the world cheated so they all will"

Just means some selfish cunt cheated

>get strep throat from another already diagnosed person
>call gp
>give the worrying symptoms unique to strep and ask for an emergency appointment
>souds like just a sore throat to me, fastest I can do is in two weeks time
>tell them I caught it from someone diagnosed at their clinic and that I need to be put on the same antibiotics as them asap
>bitches at me at says that two weeks is an ultimatum
>okay
>the surgery is never busy
>literary they have on average one visitor for five minutes every two hours
How. Just how.

>Have a Shadow minister's personal facebook as a friend
>Normiebook got hacked by a Russian Hacker and they tried to set up a meeting.

Feels quite violated desu

>>37646175
>I've been searching the square kilometer between the train station and the shopping mall.

It's a nice town, eh?

>>37648690
is it because he diddled her

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>>37648535
>>37648632
is having loads of white mucous discharge and smelly oily discharge after I poo normal?

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>>37648761
cheers britfeel

>>37648703
Don't try to reasons with the bitter virgins here. Every women is a whore because they wont fuck them.

>>37648708

>we cant be arsed with you and your sore throat, please fuck off for 2 weeks and hopefully in that time you will either be dead or feeling better


Quality heath care

>>37648201
can't wait to see big fuck of meaty sausage legs like your massive brick layers hands

>>37648785
>That fucking hairline
Gus you poor soul.

>>37648759
It certainly is, I kind of feel that you might not be quite as close to that specific area of town as I first thought. Having said that every now and then I'll find a new street that missed my eye before, despite going over some streets about 15 times. I also can't tell if it's a dead end, there was clearly a gate on the road in your pic, but that might have just been something else.

If I do find it though I won't publish the location, I'm just doing this for a personal challenge.

>>37648780
no, go to a GI doctor right away