/britfeel/

>tfw health assessment at 9 am
>if don't go neetbucks gets suspended
>still awake

JUST

>>37028810
Just stay up all night I guess. Try not to make your sleepiness noticeable

>>37028732
I FUCKING HATE BRITFEEL SO MUCH! WHY SHOULD ONE COUNTRY GET IT'S OWN GENERAL?

i want to suck a dick

>>37029156
Make your own and see how long that survives

morning lads, ive been up listening to music and eating curly wurlys. what have you lot been up to

>>37029156
bugger off you cunt

>>37029156
same reason you speak our language mate

>>37029213
watching izombie and always sunny in philadelphia all night and getting paid for it

fuckin cream crackered though

>>37029390
>izombie
my mum watches that, any good?

always sunny is good taste

also had to go through like 8 fucking captchas there since it would just keep giving me a new one

>>37029470
>any good?
it's alright, there's a qt who eats brains and has visions which she uses to solve crimes so it's basically stupid fun

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Nearly time to head off to wageslavery. I always regret staying up later than I should but I still do it. I just want to stay in bed desu~

Have a good day lads~

>>37029560
So it's like a zombie from Warm Bodies but it solves crimes?

>>37029866
yeah pretty much

originole

lads im off till late September what should i do

>>37030652
Suck a whole mile of dick

>tfw I accidently released the BRAP meme on normies
Oh, fuck

recommend me an album to listen to lads

>>37031300
If you don't fight you lose

>>37031300
I am the night by perturbator

>>37031300
The Atomic Mr Basie.

>>37029156
Because Americans tire me out.

>>37031300
Any by Sisters of Mercy

>>37031517
top taste lad

floodlands a best tho

>>37031300
Tempa T - All-Star Pars

Morning lads, how is everyone this morning?

>>37031690
shit lad, have no food in and it's pissing it down

>>37031751
I've been in that situation and it is shit.

What's your plan? Wait for it to stop, or tough it out with an umbrella?

>>37031690
Haven't slept, doesn't really feel like morning

>>37031801
I am very hungry but I just realised it's monday

so I will brave it but must wait for normie students to fuck off first

Any blokes want to face fuck me

I'm a cute boy I just want to get spunked in

I can accomodate since im all alone for a few weeks

>>37031853
post face and I will decide

>>37031690

Morning Marko, it's been a while!

To be totally honest with you I'm shit this morning, I'm on day 7 of this cold/sore throat. I assumed day 6 would be the 'peak' but I'm even worse today.

I had booked a few days of work anyway, and they are all being used on recovering from this illness.

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>last kid just left for school
>girlfriend gone to work
>chickens out pecking in back garden
Might have a wank then cry for a bit. Maybe someone will employ me this week.

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>>37031878
I bottom too

I have papers that prove I'm clean so you can spunk in my ass

Pls

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>>37031921

How long have you been NEET, anon?

bloxo cubes

>>37031890
That's shit mate.

I used to get ill all the time, but weirdly I have been pretty healthy for the last 6 months. I think it's because I'm sleeping a lot more since being NEET again. All that sleep is good for the immune system.

>>37031921
sounds comfy tbqh anon

>>37031950
Not that long, laid off over Christmas. Nobody is even calling me back I don't know what to do. Touching myself right now.

>>37031951

I get 6-7 hours sleep on 99% of nights, I've never had trouble sleeping, but having said that I've been averaging 3 hours a night this week

"tickets please"

doesn't that just send a shiver down your spine?

>>37032037
No because I'm not a thief

Thinking about getting up and getting breakfast but not sure what to have. Can hear the weather outside so it'll be something from the fridge.

>>37032053
i prefer going out in the rain because i can wear a big coat and put my hood up

that first sip of coffee

>>37032069
Not so much the rain as the wind.

>>37031990
I used to get 6-7 but then I started getting 9-10. Made a big difference.

>>37032071
that first line of ket

>>37032037

I brought this up in a thread a few days ago, but for me at least, when they call 'tickets please' they rarely, if ever check.

I'll always buy a ticket, but when he comes down the ailse saying 'tickets please' I won't show him because I can't be bothered getting my tickets out of my pocket.

>>37032170
>tfw you know a girl who did a line of ket off of some guys dick

just council estate things

>tfw didn't die in sleep last night
Morning lads. Thanks as always for holding up the nightshift. Always fun to see a salty yank to wake me up. Think the boss might be off today though which will mean even more shitposting than normal.

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Need a chinese student gf

>>37032833
I had a chinese exchange student for a week once. It was just awkward and she wasn't even slightly qt.

>>37032899
Why would you get a non qt one

>>37032929
You didn't get to choose.

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>>37032971
>make sure you do next time

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to the dentist I go lads, first time in 8 years. bricking it desu

Why am I allowed to shag a 16 year old but not take a picture of me shagging a 16 year old?

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reeee just pay me my money reeeeee

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>My 28 year old friend shagged a 16 year old chinese girl

Would be kinda jealous but then she accused him of rape recently and things are going to shit in our social circle.

>>37033112
Because someone who can't shag a 16 year old might take pleasure from the picture.

It's just another one of society's many laws that are designed to stop everyone except alpha males enjoying prime teen pussy.

>>37033147
We have the same friend. Weird.

>>37033159
Does yours live in London?

>>37033178
More like Surrey but within the M25

I feel like my bank account is looking less shit that it should be. Something is wrong.

>>37033144
What did you sell?

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>>37033084
This ebin lad?
Don't worry you'll be fine, they'll most likely have a quick pick at your teeth, take x rays maybe and then clean them.
They might take care of any small fillings there and then or ask you to come back another time.

>>37033323
Some david bowie collectors stuff and electronics

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>thinking about ebinlad laying down with a man putting things in his mouth...

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I want to get an arrow tattoo but I see a lot of women with it and I'm afraid it means something gay.

>>37033593
it means you like your bum pierced by a stiff object

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>>37033593
Get a tat of this instead

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>tfw you will never again have an Indian woman call you Gora Ji

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>>37033610
>>37033612

I'm looking at something like this, literally just because I do archery.

But I think it has some gay "meaning", because the women I see with arrow tats don't do archery.

I want to turn away from the gay community. I don't like mixing with gays. I don't feel attracted to other gay men.

I've started having chance encounters with businessmen. Really posh guys, with grey hair and wives and ex wives and 20 kids.

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>>37033593
.
.
.
.
.
>Anon comes into the parlour
>Interested in getting a tattoo
>Worried that it might look gay
>Wants me to give him an arrow
>Give him a lethal dose of sepsis instead

Submitting my last piece of Uni Work today.

Time for a life of NEET or Wagecuck.

Bless me Kev.

>>37033751
Have you looked at maybe some more abstract/geometric arrow designs?

>>37031656
>floodlands a best tho
Not wrong at all lad.
Top taste at you as well.

Just found out I get free tea and coffee at work brobots.
Nobody told me.

>story of my life.

>>37034000
Literally the only good bit about work. I go though like 5 cups of free tea a day.

I was thinking of getting an Ace of Spades tattoo because I like poker, but I keep seeing girls with it and I'm afraid it has some other meaning.

I was thinking of getting a Sexy Kev tattoo because I like wrestling, but I keep seeing girls with it and I'm afraid it has some other meaning.

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>>37033976
This one looks pretty good 2bh

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Get tattoos that say "stupid foreigner" from Chinese street tattooists.

I was thinking of getting a /GOODFELLAS/ tattoo because I like Goodfellas, but I keep seeing girls with it and I'm afraid it has some other meaning.

lads im about to go and post a parcel at the post office is there a special counter i go to or is it the normal sales counter?

>>37034105
Should have used a ffs after girls with it

>>37034117
Go to the normal counter. The normal one for post office things. not the one you buy choccy at.

Although some post offices let you send from both counters.

>>37034119
My bad. Goodfellas meming has never been my strong point.

>>37034117
there should be a counter with some scales on it

Don't like tea lads

Am i a paki?

My theory is that Shippy is the Goodfellas poster.

>>37034163
Every meme here is one guy

>>37034134
It's ok. It's a zero votes meme anyway. You aren't to blame.

>>37034183
Shippy isn't my memes

How many pairs of shoes do you need?
>work
>sport
>casual
>formal

Is that enough?

>>37034183
I think 80% of memes are done by two posters. One of them is me. I do about 40% of the meming. And I think Shipanon does the other 40%

>>37034202
I have about 13/14

My most formal is a pair of Doc Martens.

>>37034216
I'm not a skinhead

>>37034222
I do listen to punk music though. Might as well become one. Did shave my hair the other month.

>>37034202
Work shoes
Not work shoes (Trainers)

>>37034216
>I have about 13/14

Woman or gay?

>>37034236
>Woman or gay?
Straight (have a gf)

I haven't bought any new ones in over 2 years.

>>37034236
>2 pairs

Only acceptable answer. Anything else is autism or normie.

>>37034202
the only shoes i have are a pair of black and white vans

Damilola, Our Loved Boy

>>37034202
I've got like 5.
>>37034216
I'll never understand this, do you need one for every day, i know a lad that's got dozens like nigga cmon

>>37034202
I have 2
>Docs for work/more formal stuff
>Walking boots for anything else
Gets the job done

I have a big collection of trainers. Over 50 pairs.

I sometimes wait outside the Nike shop all night to get a specific pair.

>>37034281
I don't need. I have pairs I wear more often/in shitty weather.
I just like having a choice. Somewhat like having a choice of tshirts or shirts. Just nice to have that choice. Totally get how it's a weird thing though.

>>37034291
Never got this far. Never been a pair I've wanted that badly.

>>37034291
Who does this impress?

>>37034300
You've gave the only acceptable answer as far as i can tell, still folks that spend like 250 on feet coverings confuse me

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>>37033084
>>37033339
yes

>>37033362
it was a polish female
>don't brush for years
>drink excessive amounts of coke zero
>healthy gums and healthyish teeth

hygienefags BTFO

>>37034352
I don't get the teeth meme.

I brush my teeth once a day and have no fillings. But I know people who anally brush that do.

>>37034330
A certain type of girl. You'd be amazed how it works. They come right up to you in the street and talk to you about your trainers. After that it's quite easy to fuck them. I've fucked over 100 women now. I was a virgin before I got into rare trainers.

I'm gonna try and not spend any money on food during lunches at work this week. Wonder how long this will last. Made myself a cheeky leftover lamb sandwich today.

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On the train having a cheeky Stella

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Feel like buying a new watch lads

>>37034406
>go to shops to pick up bread
>come back with ready meals, reduces pastries, yoghurts
every fucking time

Hmm Peacocks sure got lovely tails.

>>37033766
>dubs
>shippost
this deserved at least one (you)

>open front door to get a delivery
>pet labrador runs up behind me to see who is at the door
>delivery guy shits himself, drops my package and jumps back
>me and my dog just look at him perplexed
>he leaves without saying anything

why is he even working that job if he is so terrified of dogs

Who /tattoo/ here? 1 and a half sleeve finished just waiting for the other half. Can't believe they even employed me here desu made sure my tattoos were out worked for the other interviews

>>37034483
Same reason muslims work in places that sell alcohol and pork.

I am wanking lads. Anyone else having a chug-a-lug right now????

>>37034499
Cheeky Kev I hope since he gave you those dubs.

Why do I even go on snapchat? It's a mix between people feeling sorry for themselves, pointless videos of lights from a club and this one guy shilling whatever he read on /pol/ that morning.

I don't want to wagecuck lads. I have tomorrow off, and I only have to work til 6, but still. I don't want to go.

DON'T MAKE ME GO REEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>37034521
Hate all their stupid news and entertainment shit on there too and by the look of it it's mostly meme buzzfeed shit. Who goes on to snapchat to be informed?

>>37034531
8-4 today, 8-4 tomorrow, 9-12, 8-3 and Friday off gonna be a long rainy week

At work, someone sat next to me during break but I couldn't brave myself enough to speak to him

Also dressed like a poor chav
Normal jeans and a Lonsdale sweater

>>37034568
Those bits were so ridiculous I forgot they existed. I might just uninstall it tbqh. Makes me nothing but salty.

>>37034596
fucking normie

bloxo cube

Why do I even go on /britfeel/? It's a mix between people feeling sorry for themselves, pointless forced memes and this one guy shilling whatever he read on /pol/ that morning.

>>37034620

Except when it's not. And it's frequently not.

But yes, it's like that a lot. It'll be worse when the school's let out

thinking of carrying a knife lads, just in case

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>>37034635
was just joking lad

yeah its usually quite good at neet hours, hardly ever awake at this time but most unishitters and sixth form kiddos aren't posting during the day either so its alright

>>37034620
At least the posts here are longer than 10 words long and you can actually have a proper conversation.

>>37034680
Unless you know what you're doing it would probably put you in more danger than it would without it.

>>37034680

In case someone offers you a particularly thick steak but only has plastic cutlery?

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>>37034680
*blocks your path*


oroir

Only two more hours of slavery to go. Mentally debating whether or not I will binge eat and vomit today or not. I'm going to regret it either way desu~

I carry a knife everywhere.

Only had to use it once. Guy tried to mug me and I slashed his face open.

girlfriend of 2 years and first girlfriend i've ever had cheated lads

pretty autistic, small friend group, mentally ill and have childhood trauma from abuse so i opened up a lot and made myself truly vulnerable

havent felt his betrayed and violated since the abuse was ongoing

feeling a bit silly lads might take something or drink a bit i dont know

who else /pretendthey'lleventuallybeawriterbutneverwrite/ here?

>>37034715
his eyes are too close together and her eyes are too far apart.


>>37034721
why dont u just eat normally u stupid faggot

>>37034738
I do but with screenwriting and filmmaking

>>37034715
dont know if its in england too, but at least in scotland non-statutory or 'consensual' stop and searches have been entirely banned since last week

>>37034724
Well back to other things that didn't Happen

>>37034724
did you get off lightly?

>>37034737
Who did she cheat on you with?

>>37034715
Why does the guy on the left look like his face has been pasted in from some other image altogether?

Just the face, not the entire head.

>>37034737
Show us nudes

>>37034746
On average they're good though.

>>37034768
one of her old schoolfriends she had a crush on at the time but rejected her

7 years on and they meet again by chancd and within 2 months she's fucking him and i was too fucking autistic to figure it out for ages

>>37034796
Signs on cheating senpai?

>>37034787
no chance in hell

if im this torn up over 1 man taking my masculinity away by having her no way ill let you lot do it too

think i might hurt him

>>37034724

And after this mugging, did you have cornflakes or the full English?

>>37034755
I was fine. Just slashed him and then ran away as fast as I could.

>>37034748
how hard is it to break into that? don't you need loads of contacts

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>>37034724
Knuckleduster for me, I bought it from a paki in Manchester who also sold me a few knock off Stone Island tops.

Hilarious that normies pay 100+ quid for that shit and you literally cannot tell the difference since the designs are minimalistic to begin with.

>>37034814
By sharing her nudes, you are claiming part of your masculinity back from her.

The fact you have the power to share the photos means you don't lose masculinity.

>>37034811
being gone without telling me where she was in a friendly way

IE: how was your evening
"great me and (friend) went to"

none of that at all


also she hid her phone, was distant and had no sexual desire in me but i noticed her being dressed up a few times and still putting her "sexy" clothes in the wash a few times

confronted her and she denied it, said she was with her friends, asked her friends if theyd seen her lately, they said no, asked her again with her friends, she admitted it

sorry for sounding incoherrent ive been drinking

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>>37034721
don't do that tilde, try chewing gum or something.

>>37034738
>>37034748
this, I keep imagining movie plots in my head and think about writing it into a moviescript but I don't know the first thing about screenwriting and also >>37034829 its a waste of time because the amount of movie scripts they chrun through yours will never be read or considered ever so its just a personal hobby and not something that'll ever develop into anything

>>37034737
lesson learnt, don't fall for the girl meme again

>>37034724
What self-defence tools are actual legal and easy to carry in this country? I can see a knife backfiring if your a weak piece of shit like me

>>37034819
Always worth running away. Even for self defence you were still carrying so you'll get fucked over.

>>37034829
Yes or the ability to prove to (((them))) that you can make money

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>>37034715
*blocks your path*

Alright sonny you got a license for that mobile phone?

>>37034855
>What self-defence tools are actual legal
you could try carrying a bicycle wheel

>>37034855
A rape alarm is the only one

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Found my next watch lads.

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>>37034737
wouldn't it be unfortunate if you were to stumble over and your beaker full of corrosive acid were to land on her face...

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>>37034875
oh wait no nvm my bad

>>37034855
you're not allowed to defend yourself, m8

oh, and also the police no longer view anything outside of murder, rape, racist language as worthy of sending police officers out so all the best and pray no one ever wants to mug you or rob your house

>>37034859
god damn it why won't ((they)) let me catch a break!

>>37034855
A shield or body armour are the only things which aren't automatically classed as offensive weapons/tools.

Or the good old rape alarm.

>>37034961
That being said if you really do want to have an edge if you get into a fight you can pop your key into your fist.

Best defensive equipment is a nice pair of trainers to run away in unfortunately.

>>37034987
I took a guy's eye out with my key in my fist once

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>burglar shows up at anon's house
>thinks he's in for an easy bit of money
>doesn't realise he's entered into the spider's web and no one knows he's there

>>37035001
Well I do hope you weren't just blinding a man for no reason.

>>37035032
He tried to mug me. This was the incident that convinced me to start carrying a blade

>>37035044
>know all the black guys in my area so never been mugged.

>>37035044
It is illegal to carry a blade
Get sent down for a few years for that lad

Alright boys need help with mother in law

She's a right cracker, had my gf at 17, never worked a day in her life, claimed her son is "autistic" but she doesn't claim any money for him. She thinks I'm stupid just admit that you claim nobody cares, always slips up and says to my gf well your "object" came out of his money! Why don't you like your brother! Gf was kicked out the house the other week because she wouldn't pick up something her autismo brother knocked over.

Is she nuts? Or am I just looking too far into it

>work is starting its own facebook style website
>expects everyone to sign up
>users have levels depending on how much they connect or publish

christ

>>37035084
you sound nuts from how incoherrent that post was lad

>>37035092
Just set it up if you have to and neglect it because it's a load of shit.

>>37035103
SOrry lad just trying to scoff dinner and type it out quickly what do you think?

>>37035131
i genuinely couldnt understand what the fuck you were saying in all honesty

>>37035134
Actually reading back that doesn't make any fucking sense il green text it later

>Moving massive file
>Windows only tells me it's in use at 99.9%

Why the fuck doesn't it tell you at the start?

Also that means that the progress bar is meaningless, if it can't move it because it's in use then it can't move it at the start of the transfer. Meaning until it his 99.9% it's not actually done anything.

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>>37034438
8 quid for a vodka red bull

The fuck is happening to this country

>>37035276
Where did you buy that?

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I fucking love Pre-Raphaelite art, lads

>>37035276
m8 could so do with that now
I just cant afford to go to the pub anymore

>>37035361

yeah buying a vodka and a can of redbull for 1/10th the price on tesco and dumping it in a glass is too hard for low iq fatasses on britfeel

>>37035387
Ha I know. Fucking low intelligence van drivers.

>>37035387
Wont even pay for Red Bull in Tesco off there in a bit probably pick up some tins for later
Normally go for own brand energy drinks or those 35p ones in corner shops

I've got a sizeable amount of magazines I need to store but would prefer storage in a manner in which I can access them a la books on a shelf.
Any recommendations?
I estimate about 300 magazines.

Fucking hell. My bastard dad has been standing outside my room door all morning saying that I'm never going back to uni.

Here's a recording of the paki cunt: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0hW6VJt4tUg

>>37035462
i almost never buy energy drinks but when i do i always get monster energy juiced. its fucking nectar of the gods

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>>37035491
That was pretty fucking good, lad

>>37035491
keep up the good work lmao

>>37035491

Top kek

Does anyone have the old vocaroo of poley screaming I AM A PAKI I AM A PAKI?

>>37033144

Fucking annoys me. Jammy cunts!!!!!

>>37034360
There's a lot of genetic variation, I believe. Both my parents brush twice a day, chug coffee all day, and smoke a mountain of roll ups every day. My has had quite a few extractions due to ulcers under her teeth, other oral hygiene problems. Dad has been absolutely fine. They're 55 and 65 and both not dead from smoking (yet) which annoys me, I just know if I was a smoker I'd have no teeth and be dead already.

>>37034438

This is what's wrong with public transport

>>37033147
Wtf I'm 28 and I had a 16 year old shag piece when I was 22 and it felt wrong. I can't imagine even being in the same room as a 16 year old now, they're so fucking annoying.

>>37035491
>whispering into the mic so his parents don't hear

hahahahaha

30th bday today. Officially old. Am a complete fucking loser lol.

>>37031989

haha me 2

>>37035792
Now your powers will begin to manifest. That is if you kept up your sacred oath

TO UNI
TO UNIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

>date young Asian girls who like older men

Does 4chan just send everything you type to the ad agencies now.

Lads my gf is always worried about me cheating or going off her and all that shit. Never do anything like that just going out with the lads now and then Think it's a cover? Think this could push her to cheat?

>>37035871
Most people cheat because of low self esteem.

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Where's my state issued Asian student gf corbyn?

>>37035802

I didn't, I failed brother.

>>37035017
this
silly burglar enters my house and i'm prepared
police won't be there for a bit so it's up to us to defend ourselves

>>37035905
>start breaking up with the misses
>she starts crying.
How 2 deal lads?

>>37035871
Thats generally not a good sign for any relationship. Probably just gonna get worse from now on. Guess you're just gonna have to ride it out.

>>37035887
He hasn't been elected yet lad. Be patient.

>>37035074
not really lad, it's illegal to carry a locking blade over 3 inches long
https://www.gov.uk/buying-carrying-knives

>>37035905
How did you fail, lad? I failed too

>>37035932

I don't know I only had a gf for 4 months in 2008 and she broke up with me and I was the one crying.

Took me like 2 years before I stopped feeling sad when I saw or remembered her name.

Well didn't spend any money at lunch the first day of the week. 1/5 is better than nothing. I was tempted a couple of times but went the park bit of town and it was ok.

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BLACKED 2bh

>>37035792
ah don't fret about it lad, i'll be 38 this year
how you celebrating/ trying to forget, youngster,

I've just applied for universal credit. My neetdom is coming to an end.

>>37036002
You lads make me feel too young for this thread sometimes. I don't go to uni though I guess so I can't really relate to people my age that well.

>>37035792
I hope you kept your virginity. Wizard powers are yours!

>>37036002

Well I was planning to take a trip but that fell through because of the astronomical cost of train tickets & accomodation.

Then I was trying to set a date up with a really cute lady (who messaged me first) but she hasn't been online since the 4th so that fell through too

So it looks like I'm sitting alone in my room getting drunk which is what I've done for the last decade+

I half expected my mum to organise some nice meal out but that's never gonna happen so here we are on 4chan.

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wahey finally the housemates dog gets it, don't come jumping up at me when i'm busting a move
also what we listening to,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itar-7sn3fA
and why is there no friendly chap asking for people to POST WAIFU's

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>>37035600
My wife's 31 which is just short of a 17 year gap.

anime club is cancelled tonight because of everyone having exams . . . . . . .

>>37036108
>14 years old

Enjoy the ban you underaged larpist.

>>37036021
nah for me I feel too old for this place,
>>37036047
yeah I know that feeling lad. i'll be having a few beers tonight so will quaff 1 and dedicate it to you lad. and for what it's worth, happy birthday lad

who /brighton/ here

>>37036165

Wot japes!

>>37036152
fucking hell lad i hope you dont actually go to an anime club

>>37036178
>this absolute bum bandit

Big BIG problem on the home front lads.

My mum found a sex story I wrote a few years ago. The contents are disturbing. She says she doesn't want me under the same roof as my little brother anymore. My brother is 17 and a normie so he's hardly in any danger.

Any advice lads?

I was really hoping my work had been hacked by that' ransomware thing but I haven't heard anything so look like I'll have to go in today

>>37036221
show the story here

>>37036221

Cut your cock off.

>>37036221

Tell them you were commissioned to write some specific filth for someone.

Also post story.

>>37036221
>Any advice lads?

Learn Tengwar English mode so no one but you and a few autists can read your shit

>>37036227
should have uploaded it yourself desu

>joke with parents about getting a puppy
>dad just rings up the guy and now we are going to get one

>>37036221
>little brother
>17
>in danger
Sounds like you have an awfully sheltering mum.
Also I'm not fully convinced. How the fuck would she find something like that.

>>37036246
Damn your right well it's too late now

>>37036263
>not getting to choose your own puppy

Pfft

>>37036231
>>37036237
Can't post the story as it's handwritten and she has now destroyed the only copy.

Also it won't work to say that I was commissioned because the story is about me and a member of my family.

>>37036264
I'm moving from my room to my sister's old room now that she's moving out, so a lot of my papers etc. were unearthed. She was going through my old school work and found it.

>>37036274
just fucking say what the story was about

>>37036274

Which family member anon. Stop dick teasing.

>>37036269
uh we are going to select from the litter

>>37036227
I though about that at first but then I remembered I'm the IT guy who would be expected to fix it.

>>37036285
Obviously a shota incest story

>>37036285
Clearly about him and his brother involving murder.

>>37036263
You lucky fuck. I've been saying we should get a dog for fuckin years. After my nans one died a couple years ago I'm getting severe lack of dog contact.

>>37036296
Post brotherpucci

>>37036285
>>37036290
It's about me having sex with my little brother, when he was 5 and I was 15. It is a FANTASY though and I never have and never would have done anything like this
>>37036300
Not murder just sex.

>>37036285
Obviously insect pedo rape

>>37036263
I hope it's a small dog

Big dogs are shit. You can't even pick them up, or have them sleep comfortable in your bed and they're never as cute

>>37036311
this is all happening a little too fast for me

>>37036315

Yeah you're fucked. I don't see any way back from that.

>>37036263
>joke

It wasn't though was it mate.

>>37036315
Nice
I used to write stories like that too but lesbian not gay

>>37036327
This is what separates us from the normies

We plan, and overanalyse, and spend ages on decisions and in the end, we barely ever follow through with them

Normies think and act with barely any thought.

>tfw you just found out black doctors handled you when you were born

i feel pretty shitty right now lads

>>37036318
oh them poor underage bugs.

>>37036342
exactly yes, im really like that, think and worry too much

>>37036315
>writing a pedo story about yourself and allowing it to be found
If she takes this to the police you're going on the register or even to jail. Your best hope is to claim you wrote it when you were 15.
Otherwise your only escape is suicide.

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Chinese student gf

>>37036351
Ffs why am I such a retard

>>37036338
no but i didn't think he would just go yeah, lets go get one after just browsing on the website

I'm gonna fucking jump infront of a lorry on the a9 I've fucking had it REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>tfw Brady is close to dying
>tfw I want to meet that crazy guy from Lancaster who said he was moving to Devon
>will never end normies with him

>>37036333
I just need to try and convince her it's a fantasy.

>>37036361
I've already been to see a lawyer this morning and he says I'm fine, it's not illegal to write things down for your own enjoyment. If I published it, it would be a different matter.

>>37035939
>yet
Nice to know labour voters are as delusional as ever.

>>37036212
its at my uni, they all shitpost on /r9k/ . . . . . . .

>>37036379
What's wrong lad? Talk to me.

>>37036379
Can it wait? I've got a delivery coming in that uses that road.

>>37036406
I'm just memeing lad. I know he's not going to win.

All of you sick fucks please remain on your containment island. Thank you

>>37036442

I'd rather share a thread with a perverted britbong, than a yank any day of the week

>>37036373
don't worry lad i'm as bad.

>>37036406
You're going to be in for a nasty shock on June 9th.
The shy Labour vote will storm this GE.

>>37036473
>I'd rather share a thread with a perverted britbong, than a yank any day of the week
Good. Keep doing that pal

https://youtu.be/RVUKuNW68wE
Opinions?

>>37036389
Tell her you wrote it a long time ago and ironically. Don't tell her it's a fantasy because all that means to her is you jerked off to it.

>>37036504
Can't say I have any problem with whoever wins really. Fuck it, we're all owned by (((ZOG))) anyway.

Lads? I-I think I'm gay???

>>37036516

Why are the freaks always so cuddly

>>37036565
Don't be, problem solved.

>>37036565
How come? What gave it away?

>>37036389
i wouldn't try convince her it was a fantasy. she'll never look at you the same and there is a chance she might tell somebody.
i hate to say it lad but it might be time to leave home.

>>37036591
Well I was watching my younger brother get undressed and it...did things...

>>37036613
Gross. Retest with gay porn or something to check you're not just a degenerate.

>>37036605
Fucks sake lad. Starting to think you might be right about that one :(

>>37036613
Don't jump to conclusions lad, you could just be a nonce.

>>37036590
this is proven to work.
that's why we don't hear about starving ethiopian kids anymore. bob geldof went over and told them all to stop being hungry

>>37036274
Means you're okay, it's destroyed, no evidence.
Deny all the shit she says. Probably best to move out though.

>>37036651
Well we already took turns...feeling each other...and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. I'm scared lads

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By the power invested in me by a phone on on sky news I pronounce all of you guilty of paedophilia

>>37036690
Got to be a troll kys

>>37036565

Liquidate yourself before you rape a child.

>>37036697
It's "vested", and shut up.

>>37036706
He sounds like a typical brit to me

>>37036442
>containment island
>conquered most of the world
>English is universal language

Ok lad

>>37036613
How old is your brother? this is important

>put 5 items up for sale on ebay
>only one sells
oh well, ten quid richer

>>37036808
What you selling lad?

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>Waking up after a night of drinking to find many cans of coke open but mysteriously full

>>37036807
He's 16. I'm 18...

>>37036753
And you sound like a typical johnny foreigner . which failed feels attempts do you hail from

>>37036848
Fuck I could murder a coke right now. Where you live?

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>>37036867
>You share a board with these people

>>37036832
Some old cigarette tins and a couple comic books.

>>37036876
It's not coke m8

>>37036887
Yeah I know ;) yum yum

>>37036363
gimme! gimme! I want one!

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>>37034477

double dubs

you deserve one back

>>37036897
You're extremely degenerate but it wouldn't be the first time desu

>>37034163
>My theory is that Shippy is the Goodfellas poster.

Not me, I have made a couple of spin off ones though, like "Oh, it's great being a Chinese snooker player at the crucible"

>>37036877
Nothing wrong with a little rub a dub dub m8

Wo xihuan zhongguo nu sheng

>>37037014
nah think i'm getting fried chicken tonight but thanks for offer

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>>37037014

Raise a family with Zhougguo Nu sheng

>>37034163
Nah he seems to stay away from /pol/tier posting.

american here, ask me anything

>>37037114
what's the weather like over there?

Stay away from our women laowai

>>37037144
Sunny with a few clouds and a nice temperature of around 64 degrees fahrenheit

>>37037114
Why did you fuckers elect a racist president??

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>>37028732
Black men do it better edition

Oh, it's great being black in a white neighbourhood

>White boys wont DARE start a fight with you

*intimidates white boy*

>You get to fuck EVERY white girl within a one mile radius with your beautiful big black...

*cuts to interracial sex scene*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyhmlS-CMsQ

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>>37037158

Stay away from our former colonies then, Xi, those Jamaican and Ugandan women are OUR property that we fought for over the centuries

Bubble tea shop next to the university is hiring. Should I apply?

>>37037265
Don't like this meme. Too Jewish.

>>37037311
I mean if you're willing to work in one and really need a job I guess. I feel like it would be filled with annoying twats. Saying that I've never been in one

>>37037311
Are you a young female student?

No point if you aren't because they won't hire you

>>37037323
It is quintessentially British, you racist. British culture is all about bending over and appeasing darkies now. Don't you know we have 400 returned isis fighters to integrate back into society?

>>37037353
>Young female *chinese student

Fixed that for you lad.

>>37037265

>Whites are less aggressive and dominant than blacks

You'd be surprised what effect endless slavery brainwashing about slavery/colonisation has on black women. All they see is their fellow black man that was literal property of white men for centuries.

>>37037397
The one employee there was a young China girl so I think this is the requirement

>>37037200
noice, raining here lots of clouds, cold enough to have the heating on
breddy comfy/10

>>37037433
>a young China girl

Thank you for reminding me of this gem, anon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy2Y6SK3UMU

>>37037380

Goodie I luv soldiers, me.

>>37037114
>american here, ask me anything

Can you show your visa please.

did it lads made it back from the post office fucking yesss didnt think i would manage it

think the woman knew i was an autistic mess since she was talking to me like i was a 5 year old

>tfw she called me darling multiple times

>>37037471
Good on you then. Maybe ask her for a date next time

>>37037471
I hate this so much reeeee. last time I went to get some nachos the qt uni student at the counter said I was 'so brave' for putting jalapenos on it.

>>37037471
Some people just don't that naturally the Muslims at work call me "my brother"

>>37037509
This is why I buy most of my stuff off the Internet

>go to subway
>they never give me enough jalapenos
>finally work up the courage to ask for extra
>accidently ask for a lot of jalapenos
>she fuckin covers the entire thing so basically all you can see in jalapenos
>is this ok
>erm...yes
>still eat it
Could have been worse, a lot of them fell out as I was going. Was a bit much though.

>>37037568
I hate subway why do I have to invent a samwitch why can't I just buy one

>>37037593
I just get the Italian BMT every time.

>think I've ordered protein porridge
>accidentally order protein pudding
lol what am I like lads

>>37037471
old ladies always call me sweetheart and guys always call me buddy. i hate it

only young chinese girls can work in bubble tea shops it's the law

>>37037633
Wtf is bubble tea?