/britfeel/

literally feel like offing myself at the slightest thing wrong

>>36621434
Thank you from saving us from that nightmare

Still debating between BF1 or TF2 lads

PSN have a sale right nowt to get both for 45 bong. Tempting offer but I was only planning on paying 30 for one

>>36621434
Dale Winton edition

>>36621434
SINCE WHEN IS IT CHRISTMAS YOU FUCK

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Milk Gorilla poster REVEALED

Just an ordinary lad really, but that in itself is a problem. Normies are normies.

>>36621457
It feels like the solution doesn't it?

>I can't do this shit, might as well off myself to save the bother
>That's too hard, might as well off myself to save myself from failure
>I'm sick of doing this shit, might as well off myself so I can be free of it

>>36621434
fuck sake lads I have a cold and I have a gig to play on Sunday, I'm hoping this passes quickly otherwise I wont be able to play

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Pretty comfy feeling from that image.

What do you lads usually do for Christmas? Go somewhere/have people visit?

- Kev x

>>36621479
Better than the /pol/ shit

I like it, Christmas has come early

>snow is falling
>all around us
>children playing
>having fun

>>36621509
Wish it was over

I don't like Christmas anymore

>>36621480
Oh wow you really revealed him, this poor dude aint gonna be able to walk the streets now thst britfeel has seen half hid face

>>36621477
>Oh my days, how hard is it to just resave the OP?

I tried, the cheeky cunt robot has started registering duplicates in other thread OPs

>>36621505
What instrument do you play lad?

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>>36621480
Literally who lad?

>>36621434
fucking hell lad seeing that mcdonalds broad in the bottom left is triggering

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Lads I sent Birds Eye a complaint hoping to get free gibsmedats

>Hello,

>I have been an avid fan of Birds Eye products for as long as I can remember, and I particularly enjoy the Hot & Spicy Chicken range. Thus you can understand my deep disappointment when I recently found that their weight had been reduced from 200g per box to 180g. Whilst I understand that this is a cost-cutting measure for the company, the size difference is noticeable and reduces the pleasure I derive from consuming the product. It makes me feel less enticed to purchase Hot & Spicy Chicken, and indeed from Birds Eye as a whole after having been betrayed in this way. I would be grateful for a reassurance that no further size reductions are currently being planned.

>I look forward to your reply.

>Many thanks
>Anon

Do you think I overdid it a bit?

>pol shit

It was a funny image

Also
>the op matters
Faggot

>>36621509
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob0jPJj6mL4
is this the shit kev gets up to??

>>36621537

Actually chuckled at how formal it all is
You deserve your gibbems.

>>36621549
The OP pic is our identity, this isn't /brit/

>>36621537
Doing Gods work, lad

Birds Eye is proper guttertrash food though, so whatcha playing

>>36621525
>has started registering duplicates in other thread OPs
It's been like that since 2015

>>36621556
>is this the shit kev gets up to??
What do you think the man gets up to exactly?

>>36621533
I play bass

>>36621580
Its stopped doing it on other boards I thought

Haven't made a thread in ages

>tfw it's starting to get hot and I'm already struggling to control my sweating

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Nihao yingguo ren.

Wo ai ni

>>36621455
We need a brave soul to become Winton anon.

>>36621588
well I didn't think they would be wrestling in a function room of some pub

>>36621549
The OP sets the tone for the thread lad

Do it right or don't do it at all

>inb4 butthurt

>>36621556
>Warrington
>Hmm

I just looked up that event

One of my friends was literally in that event... I can chat to him about Sexy Kev next time I see him

>>36621525
change a pixel and resave you turgid mess

>>36621434
Fucking hell, that weed for sale in Birmingham.

I remember that, also remember posting that number too.

>>36621556
/britfeel/ lads would fit right in with that crowd.

>>36621641
there was a strange amount of older people in the audience

>>36621641
This is why we need to do a /britfeel/ meet up at a show to give Kev the largest pop he can get,

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>>36621434
White girls in the club edition


Oh, it's great being black in a white neighborhood

>White boys wont DARE start a fight with you

"intimidates whites guy*

>You get to fuck EVERY white girl whitin a one mile radius with your beautiful black...

*cuts to interracial sex scene*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyhmlS-CMsQ

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>>36621571
>Birds Eye is proper guttertrash food though, so whatcha playing
I'm a pretty guttertrash guy tbqhwyl

Chicken Chargrills are great though, come on now

do you have any useless talents, anons?

im really good at remembering numbers, when i get a new phone number or bank card or something i remember it perfectly after one look at it. it also makes replying to a post from a previous thread simple
is it autism

>>36621566
>>36621621
Doesn't matter if it's out of date, the new ones shit anyway

>>36621679
I'm also a guttertrash food guy.

Those chargrills are proper minging though. One side is always all slimy, and the inside is tasteless rubber

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Would proper love to have a meal like this right about now.

>>36621475
>paying for tf2
wew lad just get yourself bf and install tf2 for free on your pc it will run even if you have a shitty rig

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>>36621662
Morecambe meet up

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>>36621690
Might not be autism. You might just be a genius instead

>>36621690
That is rain man tier mate

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>>36621705
Think you're funny eh lad?

>>36621556
Wtf is this gay shit and why is sexy kev suddenly a thing?

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>>36621729
>suddently

Also is Len leaving hints within my captchas?

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>meant to google local council
>glance over to this thread
>google sexy kev instead

PSYOPS CONFIRMED

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-39748246

the lengths some people will go to cop a feel

>>36621717
I would but sadly I'm busy at that time.
I'll be deff up for the next one. Hopefully it's a bit more central.

>>36621762
I literally dreamed about that fucking Lenfag the other day

Psyops a shit

>>36621729
that's exactly what I thought, he just became a thing recently

Hi Brits, American Robot here and I'll be coming over to England to study for a year at uni but I have a di(quad?)lemma.
I have four universities to choose from! Can you help me out and tell me which is the least SJW-y or most white?
I can pick from
Plymouth University
University of Bradford
University of Bristol
University of Essex

Thanks! I look forward to meeting you BritBots

>>36621766
The Shipman of tits

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>>36621774
>Plymouth University
>University of Bradford
>University of Bristol
>University of Essex

Fun fact: those are all shit and you should cancel this while you still can.

>>36621729
>>36621773
He has been around for a few weeks now. Just occasionally disappears and reappears. Which might explain why he seems to have come out of no where.

>>36621774
>University of Bradford

Whatever you fucking do. Do NOT!!! choose this one

As for the others. Google map them.

Plymouth is shit as well. Bristol is a smaller London. Essex is full of dickheads.

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CREAM I LUV IT

>>36621769
Seems like they do most of their shows there. It would be a trek for me too unfortunately.

>>36621774
>University of Bradford
Most white is definitely not going to be the case here. Hell I'm surprised to hear Bradford have a uni. If you was looking at Bradford Uni, might as well just make it Leeds Uni, you would spend all your time over in Leeds anyway.

>>36621795
He posts here???????
FUCKING OC CUNT

>>36621774
Bradford my burger friend :^).

>>36621825
See >>36621509


Probably not original enough for the robot.

>>36621825
Probably shipanon since he's the only one who posts any fun stuff like that.

>>36621774
Bradford is the least white but also the most /brit/feel

>>36621700
No lad we were saying the /pol/ image from the franken-thread was shit, we like the Christmas one

Also the new ones are not shit. Except that chink one

The night edition image is my favourite

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What's your thoughts of this meme I saw on normiebook lads

>>36621771
Did he bum you in your dream?

>>36621480
How are these people being revealed?

>>36621896
Factual images are not a 'meme'

>>36621774
bristol is the best university and probably he nicest place of the lot

https://www.plymouth.ac.uk/ (77th)

http://www.bradford.ac.uk/external/ (58th)

http://www.bris.ac.uk/ (17th)

http://www.essex.ac.uk/ (32nd)

Rankings are out of all unis, from 1 (best) to 129 (worst)

>>36621774
All the universities are shit from an academic perspective.

>Plymouth University

Probably going to be the most white. But it's in a boring town.

>University of Bradford

Party university. Everything is cheap there. Downside: FULL of pakis

>University of Bristol

Fun town, good for nights out. Downside: SJW central

>University of Essex

Very boring small town, although you'll have a lot of whiteys there.

I'd pick Bristol if I was you. It's the nicest and most interesting place on your list by far. Although I am not a literal /pol/ tier pleb so YMMV.

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Oh ffs.

original comment mr roboto

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>>36621701
True lad, I guess because I grew up with them I like them. Pic related is my absolute favourite though

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I'm really chilly lads.
Post those waifus.
http://archive.is/mqUSp

>>36621952
>piri piri

This meme needs to die

>>36621951
Fucking kek lad

>my wife can't stop talking about this ffs

>>36621976
/britfeel/ memes become spam emails.
The times we live in.

>>36621952
How much are they? Wouldn't mind giving them a crack mesen

>>36621951
you got this email aswell? what the fuck

Watching some bebop on netflix on the 4k 50" lads.

>>36622029
>checking your emails
What year is it ;3

>>36622031
Let me come around to your house.

>>36621774

what course you fucking spacker

steer well clear of Bradford

I'd recommend Bristol

>>36622029
And it's sent by a Kev too.

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>>36621999
Don't you know Britnormie is in a very strong position of power?

>>36622054
English Literature with a minor in English Language History

>>36622075
>tfw I have a photo of britnormie from when he fucked up
>it's stuck in a psd and I don't have photoshop

Damn. I have the files to dox him and can't use it.

>>36622079
Are you prepared to start spelling words correctly?

>>36622049
only if you're a Girl (female) originally.

>>36622102
I'm a descriptivist so understand that language evolves into new and better forms, sorry

got an 80 quid jacket for 30. fucking buzzin tbqh with you lads

>>36622113
I can wear girls clothes if that counts

>>36622099
[email protected]

Send me it. I have photoshop.

>>36622075

Slow on the take mate.
I posted that image ON the day it happened.

Haha lad get fast.

>>36622127
As a descriptivist you should realise that only happens when lots of people do it.

Mistakes =/= errors.

I'm also a descriptivist too, which is why I take pleasure in insulting people who whine about "literally"

>>36622127
So no then.

Got it.

>>36622009
Bit expensive, about 4 bong. Well worth it though imo

>>36621774
Go for Bristol the others are all shit

>>36622129
>falling for the clothes maymay

>>36622079
Nice you can get a job in burger king after.

>>36622138
What part of girl (female) did you not get?

>>36622171
Hmm, could get a full size large chicken for like an extra quid, and then buy one of those packet mixes for like 1.50

Bit too rich for my blood.

>>36622177
what does this mean lad?

i never knew i got it cheap until i got home.

>>36622079
>minor

Mate you better start saying 'Literature with Language History' if you don't wanna be run out of town, we'll have none of that 'minor' shit here thank you very much

>>36622129
>got an 80 quid jacket for 30.
post it and lets have a gander

>>36622142
Don't worry I remember where I found the source and although he removed the picture the username remained the same.

He's a 27 year old Iranian living in the UK.

>>36622206
Not a bad idea, I'm just too lazy to do anything more complicated than taking something from the fridge/freezer and sticking something in the oven

Plus cooking time might be longer if you're doing a full chicken. Though I suppose you could just use a bit of it

>>36622276
>I'm just too lazy to do anything more complicated than taking something from the fridge/freezer and sticking something in the oven

Literally me, which is why one of my dinners is literally "turkey dinosaurs or chicken nuggets" every Wednesday. If I'm in the mood I'll stick chip pan on.

Edged for like 3 hours and drenched myself.

now im starving.

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Just added Reddit to my bookmarks.

How low I have fallen...

>>36621613
it was tried a few month back. it seemed a bit shit then though, i didn't see the point. should go well in this current meme era. give it a try

>>36622338
What subs do you go on? and do you comment

>>36622338
It's the main default ones that are the problem

The smaller, hobby focused ones are fine because there's no politics or religion or anything.

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>>36622310
>now im starving.
This plate is your fate.

>>36622338

You should look at r/foreveralone.

DAE eat alone sometimes just kill me lmao

I check out reddit when there is a happening. Honestly they arent as 'blue pilled' as /pol/ likes to make out, they just dont post edgy memes to prove how cool and right wing they are.

>>36622444
Reddit is seriously the best place to go if you need to find something extremely niche to torrent. Seriously have no idea how they find literally every obscure 50s japanese horror film I want

>>36622444
I find they all think they're smarter than they are.

>>36622481
That's most early 20 year olds

>>36622481
and 4chan doesn't have the same problem?

reddit is fine as long as you stick to the smaller subreddits.

>>36621774
if you dont pick bristol you are utterly insane. its in a different category from all the others

>>36621959
snap. runny nose as well. think it's time to put the pan on n boil some water for a lemsip

>>36622515
Bristol is such a boring place though.

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>>36622533
baka me. should have been a pic as well

>>36622494
>>36622512
It definitely exists on 4chan, but I don't think it's part of the culture like it is on reddit. Possibly because there's no upvote system for us to jerk eachother off with.

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>>36622395
>literally the first thread is a 'success story'
https://www.reddit.com/r/ForeverAlone/comments/681r87/final_update_success_story/

Plus I can't believe how much censorship and moderation there is:
>Be polite, friendly and welcoming
>Do not tell anyone they are not forever alone enough to be here
>Do not post inflammatory comments or threads
>If you see trolling, report it to the mods
>Any posts created to intentionally start drama on any subject will be removed

Reddit is so cucked, the only reason I can imagine why they need all those rules is because they don't want to get their fee fees hurt

>>36622534
Compared to the others on the list, not at all

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>>36621959

That's the first time I've read that story but regardless I cri everytim ;_;

>>36621933
Bristol's decent, its 17th out of 130 in the UK.

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having a cheeky look at some peoples last meals
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/10645831/No-Seconds-the-last-meals-of-Death-Row-inmates.html

what would yours be, lads? id probably have some cereal

>>36622591
A swimming pool full of Turkey Twizzlers.

>>36622572
Everything post r/fatpeoplehate is shite desu.

fingers smell of sick

>>36622591
I'd have some mint chocolate ice cream In a bowl. Just like I used to eat when I stayed off school as a kid pretending to be sick, sitting in front of the TV all day

>>36622641
thought you were dead, timmy

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>>36622591
is this the pinnacle of comfy?

Just been on 8ch's /britfeel/

It's dire lads, fewer than 500 posts in the last month

>>36622591
Sundray roast with extra roast taties and ben and jerries peanut buttecup icecream or desert.

>>36622706
>apple pie with vanilla ice cream

yes it is

/wsg/ and /gif/ can be good when you find your usual boards uninteresting but I think they are basically sub reddits. Some of the comments are so cringe

>>36622591
Kim Kardashin's arse

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>>36622591
probably a big fuck off chicken parmo
>>36622641
that's a comfy choice anon

>>36622713
Go to cuteboys sometime

Prison gay central

>>36622693
Hadn't even clicked the article lad ngl. That's spooky stuff that mint ice cream is the first one. Timmy has good taste

>>36622706

That's a pretty nice final experience. Other than the firing squad.

What ideas would you die to defend?

>>36622591

I'd ask for a bag of mercury fulminate like Walt had in Breaking Bad and then use it to make an explosion and escape

>>36622706
did he get to finish the movies?

>>36622777
None

I utterly despise communism, but I would never die to fight it. I'd move to somewhere without communism

>>36622777
Checking those sexy digits

>>36622777
the immortal proletarian science of marxism-leninism

>>36622777
nice Kevs lad
Keep it up

>>36622777
Anything really, dying for a near futile cause is still more productive than anything i'd do in my life otherwise.

>>36621480
when are you gonna dox any waifu/anime posters?

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me hugging len colourized 2017

>>36621704
Reminds me of school lunches: GBP2 for 3 twizzlers and a load of smileys.

Amazing.

>>36622821
I've got a team working on Velox, Junland and Azulad. Their time is running out, don't worry.

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>>36622838
*throws truck at head*

>>36621434

I guess movie night is off then lads

>>36622868
bit boring desu, azulad hasn't posted in months and junlad basically doxxes himself frequently

>>36622852
Yet no one gets twizzlers now cause of that cunt Jamie Oliver.
Greedy shit wanted them to himself.

Might head into town when it gets dark in 20 minutes to buy a cheeky computer game and some snacks

>>36621704
FUCK YOU JAMIE OLIVER YOU CUNT I JUST WANTED MY TURKEY TWIZZLERS FFS

>doxxed a female /britfeel/ poster

Now lads, help me out here. I've been thinking through what you've all said and now I simply don't know whether to release her photo or keep it to myself like you want.
I'm honestly torn here.

>>36622777

Original Euthanasia

>>36622838
Where's that meme with the two fat anime nerds lewd talking each other online?

>>36622868
>he doesn't know junlad and azulad already posted a picture of themselves

Granted there was no face, but their manletness was there for all to see.

>>36622916

Well you wouldn't think twice if it was a bloke, so you're either a white knight or a creepy perv.

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>>36618303
http://goboiano.com/japan-puts-anime-in-zoo-and-penguin-adopts-a-waifu/
FUCK YOU NORRMIIIIIES

>>36622916
Send to [email protected]. I'll judge if they should be shared.

>>36622916
do it for the banter, you should need no other reason

Turkey twizzlers were fucking rank and i knew it as a kid in an estate.

Nothing wrong with smileys though.

what are the odds that this guy from /britfeel/ i talk to is trying to dox me?

>>36622916
inb4 it's a fucking tranny

>>36622979
10000%

Low incontentfillingshit

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>>36622942
You on about this one lad?

>>36622777
>'I detest what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it'

- Voltaire

>>36623013
That's the one lad. Cheers

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>>36623013
me on the right

irooror

>>36623015
Unless you are muslim.

>>36622975

shite opinion mate tbhwy.
twizzlers were boss, smilies are like downgraded chips

>>>36622631
come on though lad, do you honestly think reading a website can replace an entire book. website usually act an introduction to a subject, very few people are going to spend time writing a decent 300 page book for a website. websites about a subject are usually a few pages long, at most. oh, i know not all website are not the same but there are barely any lengthy website for many topics. you cant really look up reviews for websites. lets say you want to learn about the Peloponnese war, and some random website decides to publish a lengthy book, why would you even bother reading it when no reviews are available, and it very rare a website would do this

>You're implying all books are used as learning tools, which isn't true.

if its none- fiction, it is a learning tool, some might be shit though.

>>36623043
turkey twizzlers would melt and dissolve in your mouth. It was absolutely rank and there were a million better alternatives.

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>>36621959
I was up until 4:30 am watching Charls Carroll from MDE playing BloodBorne last night. Pretty fun

Any robots in Portsmouth?

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TAAAAAAAAKE ME DOOOOOWN TO THE RIVVVER
HAND MEEE A FRESSH BUUUD
AND
THROOW ME IN THEEEE TRUUUUCK
TAKKE ME DOOOOWN TO THE RIIIIIVER
SHOW ME WHERE
THE TRUCK BOOOOOYS
TRUUUUCK

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>>36622967
>>36622959
>>36622965

Alright you thirsty lads. Let's agree to compromise, I'll give you this untraceable picture and keep her details to myself.
I wonder if she's browsing at the moment?

I have a sneaking suspicion that Jamie OIiver was the reason Bernard Matthews stopped doing Turkey and Pork sausages

They were my favourite thing at Christmas, and I've looked literally everywhere for a viable replacement. Nothing comes close

Never had a good Christmas since

>>36623070
Besides Turkey Dinosaurs, name one better alternative.

>arrange to go to the pub with a couple mates
>neither of them have replied and it's been a solid 3 hours

fuck man, this social lark is a crock of shit

makes you proud to be british dunnit lads?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX9wkYMnJDQ

>>36623121
>That nose

Keep them to yourself.

>>36623147
I hate flakes.

It's incredibly rude and disrespectful

>>36623121

This is just attention whoring by proxy

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>>36622212
here it is lad

pretty basic

>>36623116
don't know that one lad, got anything else?

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>>36622591
I'd pour bombay mix on my dick and suck it off. Also why is Home Bargains and Holland n Barret literally the only places that do good Bombay Mix anymore? Tesco, Sainsbury's etc are fucking shit.

>>36623174
Agreed. Fuck my "friends"

>>36623177
>hmm i know what i'll do i'll give these people loads of attention for seeking attention

have you noticed doxxposter that literally no-one in this thread cares except you?

>>36623125
Those wafer thin slices of turkey that would come drenched in gravy.

>>36623187
Not bad that bud, where from?

>>36621434
All right lads time to get dark:

http://www.strawpoll.me/12851314

>>36623187
can't go wrong with a harrington jacket

A REAL IMPORTANT BRITFEEL QUESTION
http://www.strawpoll.me/12851335

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Do they still make this lads

>>36623246
An older girl played with my willy but Im not sure if I'd count that.

>>36623246
No, cousin was though and as usual it rocked the family, uncle did a bit of time and now has any internet access monitored. But for some reason I didn't give a shit.

>>36623246
This >>36623291

I was like 4-5 and this 13-14 year old that lived next door used to play mum and dad with me and pretty sure she molested me when he touched my penis

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>>36623290
Billy Bear shits all over this. I think Tesco have a bear one too, but maybe not Billy?

>>36623242
i got it from tj hughes lad. the exact same jacket is 80 quid on the harrington website

dont know why it was so cheap. kinda just bought it on a whim

Assuming you were smart enough to do any job and evey job paid the same wage, what would you want to work as? I think I'd be a doctor

15 year old sister came back home a couple hours ago and started bawling her eyes out in her room. She was very loud and also made some horrific screaming sounds, like a cat being strangled. Meanwhile I'm doing a happy dance and stroking myself like pic related because fuck my sister.

Turns out her Muslim (not kidding) bf dumped her on the grounds that there was no future because he wouldn't marry a non-Muslim. Now, I ain't defending my sister, it's her fault she was a little harlot, but it seems to me that religion divides people more than it brings them together. Also getting real sick of Muslims, they don't integrate.

What country can I move to that is based? I was thinking America, but my options are unfortunately limited to California (which I hear is full of SJW degenerates) and New York (which is way too hustle and bustle for my liking) owing to my professions regulations. If I could I would love to move to somewhere like Texas. All the gun-nut right-wingers on 4chan have pretty much indoctrinated me.

>>36623246
i was repeatedly raped by a family friend and it has fucked me up really badly

getting close to booking my bike test
at the young age of 27, for fucks sake

for once I have a bit of cash, lots of free time (NEET) and I'm sober
so I might not get another opportunity like this again

but, ever the autist, I'm thinking of all the things that can go wrong and working myself into a state
I've been riding motorbikes for close to 10 years now, I should piss both tests
but that doesn't stop me worrying

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>>36623343
Oops I forgot pic related

>>36622075
this is a terrible photoshop

>>36623335
>>36623291
Aye, that's why I put in the third option. Just wondering really because some weird stuff happened to me and at the time I didn't think anything of it but as I've grown older I realised it went on for a lot longer than it should have and it made me very uncomfortable. You chaps fairly normal sexually?

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Lads, what causes freaky shit like an impregnation kink, psychologically? I'm becoming addicted to role playing fetishistic scenarios on the app Whisper.

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>>36623343
Damn that was quite painful to read, you cringebag

>>36623400
>biological imperative
>freaky

>>36623347
31 and still can't bike/drive. I've passed theory twice (first time expired) and I can drive but I don't have the balls to go back to it now ever since I nearly crashed one time on one of my last lessons.

>>36623393
>You chaps fairly normal sexually?
Not really. Not had many sexual partners and only one girl could make me cum and that was my cousin.

>>36623393
>You chaps fairly normal sexually?
I wank to asian trannies and some weird porn but I don't really think it's related

>>36623341
was gonna say actor or in a band but i dont think i could be ased with the pressure of fame i i got paid the same as eveeyone else

maybe a writer or a shop assistant

>>36623425
Are you the lad with who fucked his weird, overweight American cousin?

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>new bailey jay video
>ANOTHER fucking masturbation vid
>tits getting saggy

Get a dick up your arse before you're finally past it, for fucks sake.

>>36623341
Criminal prosecution barrister

I hate criminals, but I'm not assertive enough to be a bobby

>>36623422
oh I've had a few spills
very few of them were my fault, and none of those caused anybody else harm
just a few months ago I grabbed some brakes on a manhole cover in a hospital car park and decked it
there are worse places to crash I suppose lol

>>36623449
I am indeed. Dont think I was ever destined for a normal life.

>>36623456
Not my cup of tea but does (s)he really not take any dick? Whats the point?

>>36623341
>>36623440
>>36623457

leader of the resistance

>>36623474
nope, hes fucked some other people if i remember right but never been filmed taking it

Anyone else drugged up to the eyeballs?
I am so high

>>36623464
Ayy knew it. I've got a fucking weird knack of remembering specific details from vaguely related posts recently. If that makes sense.

>>36623341
I would be Jane Mansfield's lobster retriever.

>>36623456
>go on her site
>$25 a month to watch her videos

jesus christ

>>36623474
yeah bailey and natalie mars is a good one

>start stretching foreskin
>get a big whaft of trapped air from inside
>delicious smell
>get horny and instead of stretching smell my fingers instead

>>36623474
Very, very, very rarely she'll take a dick up her arse and it's from her mutilated boyfriend at a shitty angle because her boyfriend is shit at sex

All I want is for some actual porn star to dominate the crap out of her. We're never going to get it though. Just 50,000 masturbation videos

change she for he if pronouns bother you. I did it just to make it easier to write this post

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>>36623493
>30 years old
>most notable achievement is incest

>>36623344
Sorry to hear that mate, have you had any help with it? Therapy and stuff?

>>36623425
I've only had a handful of sexual partners and I really didn't enjoy my experiences. They were with females but my abuser was male and I sometimes get excited thinking about guys, especially when they are physically similar to him. Weird topic for britfeel I just wanted to know how common it was

>>36623514
>mutilated boyfriend
Am I going to regret asking more about this?

>>36623464
Story for us who missed it?

>>36623509
I think I've smelt every one of my shits (toilet paper to nose) since my teens and I don't know why. I just want to know what kind of shit it was I think.

>>36623509
>start stretching foreskin
>the smell of smegma makes me hard
>have to wait for it to go soft to stretch again
>now my skin is too dry to get a proper grip

That was my problem when I had phimosis. Fixed it in the end though

>>36623524
He's a cut dicklet.

>>36623489

Stoned like an arab whore lad
Feels pretty comfy

might watch clockwork orange or something for a lark.

>>36623416
It's funny, I'm described as weird when I tell my irl friends about this. Do I have high test?

>>36623486
>leader of the resistance

dont think thats a real job lad

>>36623546
What you taking? Got a nice sativa spliff myself

>>36623524
He's cut, and it's an obvious cut too. Half the skin is a manky colour.

>>36623341
I'd rate entertainment media out of 10

>>36623489
Tempted to go round my dealer for some MD and just get high tonight, maybe do a gram?

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>>36623542
i'm not even sure theres smegma down there, I can't pull it down enough even flaccid to check.

I hold the tip of my foreskin while peeing and let it fill up sometimes so I think that might be cleaning it out

>>36623579
Do you ever touch your bellend? Does it feel like it's on fire?

That feeling goes, I'm afraid :(

>>36623531
>visit cousin in America
>she's married
>she's a NEET and hates leaving the house so me and her just hang out smoking weed while her husband works
>we're always cuddling and stuff
>one day she wanks me off
>I feel scared as fuck her husband is gonna beat the shit out of me
>turns out he's a literal cuck and tells me to do whatever I want with her
>fuck her everyday for 3 months

>>36623551
You're just in an age where reproduction is a foreign concept to the young.

>>36623592
I don't really pull it back ever, only to check progress once in a while. I just stretch by pulling both ends. If I do touch it really hurts anyway. Wouldn't say burning though more like a sharp intense feeling

What are you lads living in for?
I just want a good clean death
A NEETs death

>>36623625
Stretch it out every morning in the shower to give it a good clean, also helps in the long run for your foreskin.

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>>36623509
my willy is a right mess
I'd go to a doctor but I'm not admitting I'm a virgin at 29

>>36623561

weed, like a regular person.
how are you still on this plane of consciousness?

>>36623641
Fuck knows. I'm just still here for the ride I guess, I would never kill myself though, not intentionally because I know once I do the ride is over and it's pure darkness.

>>36623676
Just say no, you had protected sex as a teen

Protected being a keyword or they'll test you

>>36623641
dont even know anymore. partial out of spite, and i dont want to be cowardly and kill myself.

dont know why else

>>36623538
Same lad. I look at my shit as well

We're healthy, just means we'll know if something's up

>regular person

I know not to what you infer lad

>>36623489
Have some heroin left but trying to resist.

I need to buy some furniture for my new place.
Can you recommend me some comfy settees?

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>>36623676
what in the world is going on there anon.

I went to the doctors and all they do is want to get you (((cut)))

Also they don't ask you if you are a virgin do they? they never asked me when I went for phimosis but there was a cute male trainiee doctor watching when he pulled on my penis and examined it

I just tried to pull down, It won't go as far as I got it before, I can just expose the end of the head and thats it.

Just had my first jubbly in years. I've changed but jubblies are always good. Made me proper depressed that desu, old jubbly memories and that. It was a little bit slushy as well ngl haha xD. Oh and just so I don't keep you up at night I'll feel you the flavour. It was orange. Goodbye britfeel until my next post haha xD

>>36623641

Thanks for making me realise I live to masturbate.

>>36623691
I'm pretty chilled out right now, just thinking about aliens and god

>>36623596
Oh yeah I remember this!

You guys have some pretty good memories

>>36623760
I remember having cheapo nasty jubblies as a kid. Tasted like water except for the end bits

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>>36623641
I'm living for the hope that one day I will experience happiness.

You gotta have bad times to know the good times.

I'm still waiting.

Till then I have Shin Megami Tensei and hentai.

>>36622868
>Velox
Who?

Wish I could go back in time and dedicate my life to music.

>>36623760
Ma nigga. Fucking love dem jubblies. Haven't savoured in the taste for a while so I think I'll get some from Iceland soon.

>>36623759
you can see the phimotic ring
that's hardened skin and won't stretch

I can't retract it over the glans when erect
I can whilst I'm flaccid, but if I then become erect, it hurts like... well, it hurts. a lot.

not even sure what can be done about it

>>36623804
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.-Chink proverb

>can't enjoy anything
>thought it's because I'm a NEET and it's my brain's way of making me get up and get a job
>get a job
>still feel the same

Is this just the status quo now for the rest of my life?

>>36623840
This is why people drink

Life is a meme

>>36623822
http://www.network54.com/Forum/244184

have a look here, try stretching

>>36623121
KentAnon?

Oc comment

>>36623786
Sounds shite that
>>36623820
Should do lad

Do you lads do that thing with them where you bite over the packaging to crush the ice below? Getting that nice slushy texture

>>36623851
no go
any tension is too painful
feels like it's going to tear

fucking facebook i haven't signed in nearly 4 years and they still email me about normies statuses and pictures and shit

>>36623829
Think either lenlad or sexy kev said that one desu

>>36623840
Cannabis but the fun will wear off again.

Then you move to psychedelics.

Not sure what the next step is, I'll let you know when I fall into it.

>>36623859
Do you scissor through the edge of the jubbly rather than purely the wrapping when opening them? I don't know why but it feels great doing it.

Also that end moment where you drink the last dregs of the jubbly when you're finished.

>>36623867
you stretch it by grasping both sides when flaccid and pulling apart, anyone can do that. I do it and I can barely retract at all when flaccid and not at all when erect.

read that forum, theres lots of links and stuff

>>36623840
I think dome people are just always going to be sad. Whenever I think doing a certain thing will make me happy I always remember all those successful famous people who killed themselves. Although most of them did end it quite young, who knows maybe if they rode it out things would have got better.

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need an opinion lads. i have noticed that my anxiety has gone a lot worse since the last girl i was interested in fucked me off. i dated her twice and she suddenly she does not feel a connection with me. this was after spending a day with her cuddling, kissing me, and saying she liked me.

i know only dating twice should mean nothing to me but i guess the shock of it has done something to me for some reason? i dont know lads. it took me a fuck load of courage to date her in the first place

>>36623890
Aye those last sips are great. Nah never tried the corner snip, usually just cut where it says to.

>>36623896
yeah, that's what I did
I can feel exactly where the ring is
I wedge my fingers between it and apply a tiny bit of pressure and it fucking hurts like hell

I'll have a look in a bit

>>36623917
Nah I mean you cut just below the line so you're cutting through the ice edge. Dunno why but I love it.

>>36623935
Oh ye I do that. Ye no idea why but its just better

Sister has gone to Germany for the weekend. Odds she gets enriched in some way?

reminder to not get a gf lads

>>36623907
Go solo, it's a better life or so you'll tell yourself. I do enjoy a lot more things being on my own, but then there are some parts that don't fit on the outside, for example family/social occassions and the 'haven't you found a girl yet' shit starts.

>>36623975
Where is she going?

>>36623991
Reminder taken.

>>36623991
The only true way to bee urself is to bee by urself.

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>don't charge my phone all day because fuck it
>turn it on now to check my daily dose of gacha games
>5 missed calls and a bunch of texts from my manager asking to cover a shift because people have called in ill

Why don't normies get that not everyone lives on their phones

>>36624003
Just pretend you're gay. Will stop the questions

>>36623991
shouldn't be a problem

>>36623991
Haha not like I could.
Went on a date with some girl a few weeks ago and I thought it went really well and we hit it off. Then she ghosted me

>>36624034
Colonge

>>36624047
It's a phone. The entire point is that it's on to get calls

>>36624047
Why don't fucking mongs like you get that there's no cunting point in having the thing if it's dead or not within reach

You could apply the same logic to a pissing landline.
>hoop doop not my fault it was unplugged fucking normies

Watching Simpsons and playing Mario Kart 8. Pretty good Friday right now.

>>36624048
Then be outed as a gay for the future? What if, no nevermind i was about to say what if I actually get a gf that I like

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My goal in life is just to be like the dude later in life desu

>>36624085
>day off work
>literally no reason to have it charged

No reason to get pissy about it

>>36624089
no way it's friday today

>>36624085
>Landlines
I remember those days, do people still pay line rental? I'm with Virgin but only have broadband but I dunno if I have to pay line rental for it?

>>36624090
If you get a gf just say you're straight now

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>>36623991
what about a bf?


oror

>>36624003
im fine with being single most of the time but i have been single pretty much all my life and im tired of it.

i have gotten to that age where i have no idea with what i am doing with women although women expect to know what i am doing. i fucked that girl i spoke about on the second date and the day after she got really weird about it and started saying that it was too early, we are moving too fast. i thought people usually shag after the first few dates.

>>36621690
Why don't you use your talent to remember people's bank details by glancing over them at the ATM?

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>>36621952
>tfw used to work on the meat isle in Tesco
Delet this. I'm not stacking any more of those fucking things.

Im picking up a new couch tomorrow.
I literally dont know anybody I can ask to help me carry it up the stairs.
Fuck.

>>36624129
You have all the right answers, who are you?

>>36623676
Don't do it. It is your natural chastity belt and it makes you, you.

>>36624132
bf means someone is getting a gf which isn't good.

>>36624085
Kek you need to calm down lad. That anon seemed to strike a nerve in you

>>36624056
>Then she ghosted me

so she never even said that she isnt interested etc? what a fucking bitch

>>36624142

i was on a /nightwalk/ once and got roped into carrying a couch upstairs for 2 eastern european blokes, they just stopped me as i was walking past their flat, ive also helped to bump start 2 cars while /nightwalk/

>>36621475
Battlefield is pretty deec desu senpai.

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>>36624153
what about two bfs together?

>>36624059
>Colonge
And what kind of people is she going with because that is getting risky

>>36624138
>Cut into them
>Piri-piri skin just flakes off the entire breast
They're a fucking fake

Just went to tesco and bought 2 (TWO) tubs of ice cream.

AMA

>>36624185
what does AMA mean

>>36624185
What flavour(s)?

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Start spamming Xi Jinping images

>>36624159
Nope, said it was lovely meeting me yadda yadda, should meet up again soon.
Next thing she's ill and can't meet up, said she'd let me know when she's better. I send her a message like 3 days after that asking how she was feeling and got nothing back.
That was two weeks ago now

>>36624185
How many calories in those (TWO) beasts?

>I love my life as a dickhead
>All my friends are dickheads too
>Come with me let's be dickheads
>Haven't you heard? Being a dickhead's cool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_5uVdy5YmA

>>36624197
It's leddit speak for ask me anything