/britfeel/ real NEET hours who up edition

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Good day, lads

where my squad at

>>36122927
>Anyone going to church tomorrow?

Hahahaha I fucking wish. I'm wagecucking instead

>Anyone going to church tomorrow?
I might. I could. I won't.

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>wanking to a thai prostitute getting fucked
>end of the video she squirts into a cup
>it's red

Boner and my fetish fucking killed lads

IT'S REAL NIGGA HOURS WHO TF UP?

SMASH DAT MF LYKE BUTAN

>>36122971
A good maisie morning to you

Getting really tired of ethnics on TV lads.

>>36122971
imagine bending her over, pulling up her dress and sorting her out. imagine her moans

Not keen on Crywank lads. Seems like he's just pandering to the false depressive crowd.

Took a travel sickness pill in the hope it makes me drowsy enough to sleep before 3. I felt tired as fuck when I took it for a 3 hour car ride last month.

Please don't make me stay awake until 8am again, brain.

>>36123081
>imagine her moans
Cor blimey you aint 'alf stuffed me fanny lad

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>>36123081
>>36123056
Cute pettite girls like Maisie are always really vocal when they get fucked. I bet it would feel so fucking good

>>36123081
She did a sexscene with some pretty lewd moans in it
Search YouTube for maise sex scene

>>36123030
SMASHING IT

>>36123096
>pandering to the false depressive crowd.
Yeah sometimes the songs are too much about friends and shit, but then it hits me how low I must be to be more of lonely fuck than a character in a song about a loner.

>>36123096
Just based on the name and the false depressive pandering I'm guessing that's Louis CK's new special?

>>36123096
what like people pretending to be depressed
is that a thing now?

>>36123163
yeah fuck friends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6EFg5eWWlM

>>36123183
Yes, they think it makes them special. Saw some popular slags on Twitter posting depression memes and saying "omg im so lonelyyyyy :(:(:(".

>>36123183
People have been doing that forever

>>36123096
I can see that but he's also a weirdo manlet that shilled his music on /mu/ and toured with other /mu/core Jordaan Mason so he's pretty legit. I only really liked his first album though.

>>36123106
that made me giggle lad

>>36123125
gave a stonker. good scene. might give this films a watch

Oh shit lads, All 5 seasons of The Real Ghostbusters are on Netflix now.

Thats comfy as fuck.

>>36123182
Its a musician
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY-lX5pMTMc


>>36123183
Its not new, you hear about the 'mental health crisis' in the nhs? not just anxiety but now depression is cool to pretend to have. Being sad for 3 minutes is now depression.

Tried to go back to poker recently. I made like 50 grand 10 years ago during the boom

Been a week now and and I've only broken even. I guess live play is where all the money is, but that requires going outside and socialising and sod that.

Need to find another route online for making money

>get depresse about being alone all the time and never socialising
>go pub for a few pints with some old friends from school (we meet up like once a year)
>get bored and want to home, feel sick from the alcohol

why

0-3 Uncharted 3
4-6 P5
7-9 bed

>>36123271
Ngl, I'm a legit NEET with no friends and I found that song really relatable. I think it's alright musically as well, though I wouldn't want anyone to know I like it.

Asked my parents for 300 bongs to pay the security deposit on my student accommodation. Feel like shit lads, I've never been in debt until now. They had to use their credit card but on the bright side I should be able to pay them back in a few weeks.

>>36123318
Are you me yesterday night lad?

I have to go to Coventry tomorrow
Anyone here from there

>>36123271
so if I've been diagnosed with it as well does that mean i'm cool now. sweet, goodbye decades of hell, i'm off to get me sen a bird now i'm in wi cool kids

>>36123318
>old friends from school (we meet up like once a year)
>tfw have not spoken to any of my 'friends' since I left school 6 years ago.

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>another week
>another pile of job applications
>again no interviews

I don't know how much longer I can go on.

>>36123413
Ever considered going self employed

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>>36123096
>false depressive crowd

just had a listen, definately fits. Bit like them wankers who also listen and "relate" to The Smiths

>>36123318
>>36123408

i dont know how you lads cope. i would become suffer from anxiety so bad if this was me

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Shall I tell you about my life
They say I'm a man of the world
I've flown across every tide
And I've seen lots of pretty girls

I guess I've got everything I need
I would't ask for more
And there's no one I'd rather be
But I just wish that I'd never been born

And I need a good woman
To make me feel like a good man should
I don't say I'm a good man
Oh, but I would be if I could

I could tell you about my life
And keep you amused I'm sure
About all the times I've cried
And how I don't want to be sad anymore
And how I wish I was in love

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>>36123453
I tried that. Invested everything I had into it, and failed miserably.

It disgusts me to see a person's skin beyond their hands, neck and face. It makes me feel nauseous and itchy. Does anyone know this feel?

>tfw made a good % of the threads recently
At least I feel useful.

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Even at this time of NEET hours. Kev sends his warmest regards.

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>tfw stuck in East Devon
Been working so I haven't been posting at all for weeks. Had a 2 hour break earlier though and took this pic.

When will Russia and America start ww3? Pls soon

>>36123453
Self-employed as what?

>>36123494
Could you green text me the story?

>>36123520
Depends what skills you have and how much money you have also if you have a car

Say, anyone planning a crime? Perhaps a hate or spree crime? We're just a bunch of jaded androids right? Let's share details. I wouldn't want to be rude so go ahead.

>>36123582
zero skill, 10 grand, no car

>>36123315
Very impressive mate, puts my paltry 250 quid profit into perspective.

>>36123592
Nice try May

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>>36123477
Tunak Tunak Tun
Tunak Tunak Tun
Tunak Tunak Tun
Da Da Da
Dholna Vajje Tumbe Vaali Taar
Sun Dil Di Pukaar Da
Aaja Kar Layieh Pyaar
Sweetheart, the strings of the instrument play
Listen to what the heart says
Come and love me
(4x)
Dholna
Sweetheart
Duniya Yaara Rang Birangi
Na Eh Bheri Na Eh Changi
The world is a colorful place
It's not good nor bad
(4x)
Sun Yaara Bole Ik Taya
Mehndi Da Yaara
Listen friends the iktaara1 says
Mehndi's friends
Dholna Kadeh Mere Nal Hass
Mainu Dil Valli Dass
Nahin Taan Teri Meri Bass
Sweetheart, come smile with me sometimes
My heart's keeper (lover) look
This body is not under your or my control
(4x)
Dholna
Sweetheart
Duniya Yaara Rang Birangi
Na Eh Bheri Na Eh Changi
The world is a colorful place
It's not good nor bad
(4x)

>>36123530
Sure

>two years ago
>get very ill
>workplace insurance doesnt allow me on site
>end up getting let go from work because of it
>decide to go self employed
>invest all 6000 quid i had saved up into it
>fast forward a year
>product finally developed
>go on sale
>no buyers
>basically dead in the water
>cant invest into self employment any more because no money left
>cant get job because "out of work" for so long
>life is pain

>>36123592
Yeah I've been toying with the idea of going to drug parties and injecting passed out cool kids with lethal doses of morphine.

>>36123592
You first, detective.

>>36123598
It was easier back then until the yanks banned them all, and before everyone and their mother had read all the books and strategy.

>>36123625
I thought this was an anime backlog at first glance.

>>36123530
Sure
>Be me
>2016
>Quit my job at the call centre after saving 6 months worth of expenses
>Have big plans to learn to program and freelance
>Make a list of all the learning g resources I need and start following it
>Every day watch one episode of Mr.Robot, then the matrix and hackers
>Even though I'm watching all this I still can't program
>The vibes just aren't working
>Eventually give up and spend 3 months crying and pretending to be a trannie on britfeel
>Spend my 6 months living expenses in 3 and a half months time on chocolate milk from waitrose
>have to reapply for call centre job
>and here we are now

What's the fucking point

>>36123637
Haha you too detective. Or should I say Robocop? Haha! Banter. Did you see the Inbetweeners Movie the other day? Unbelievable. Go ahead though.

>>36123596
Drivers license?
You could start a catering buisiness a cleaning company sell stuff at Flea markets become a dog walker design tshirts and sell them online
That's just off the top of my head

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>>36123592
I just watched an illegal movie stream

>>36123629
Shit lad I'm sorry to hear that

>>36123674
*teleports behind you*
*whispers in your ear* What did you just say?

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>>36123688
Stop right now.

cantbloxthehillman

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>>36123657
Hay lad did ye get the water meter yet ?
Chorus
Now they put the water meter just outside our gate
There's no point in complaining sure now it is too late
To keep the water charges down there's one thing we can do
Don't ever flush the toilet 'till we all go to the loo.
If you want to save on water you'll have to be discrete
Don't leave the tap a running when you brush your teeth
Don't ever fill the kettle when your making tea
And when you have a shower don't stay in there all day.


Don't leave the tapa a running that's money down the drain
If your old pipes are leaking, more Euros you'll be paying
Believe or believe not a quare thing I'll tell you
One third of all the water used is flushed down the loo


Now they put the water meter just outside our gate
There's no point in complaining sure now it is too late
To keep the water charges down there's one thing we can do
Don't ever flush the toilet 'till we all go to the loo.

>>36123629
what did you invest in lad?

>>36123649
The fabled Black Friday. Only started playing recently, but I hear from a lot that the environment is immensely harder than it was before, plus the rise of bots and all that.

You could always go big on cryptos and hope for the best.

>>36123660
You spent money on learning to program?
WHY????

>>36123762
Bad Dragon

origami

>>36123782
>Bad Dragon

>tfw the easiest way to get rich means you have to spend your waking hours figuring out how to get furries off

>>36123762
Contractors to do the parts I couldn't.

>>36123735
Thanks, senpai. It's not all bad, though. I've made enough money to cover my outgoing expenses, so I'm not leaving it at a loss, but I'm also not getting any profit, and I'm still out of work.

>>36123776
Well the money was spent on just living. The programming stuff was free

>>36123800
What don't furries get off to? Minus anything remotely human and normal.

>>36123782
>>36123800
>>36123824
https://www.patreon.com/fek

>>36123813
Oh fair enought so how much did you lear

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>developed a tranny fetish

i fucking hate this website

>>36123862
Are you like 20 and a lonely virgin or something?

As long as you don't progress to prison gay, you'll be fine

>>36123850
>24,627 a month

Top Fek.

>>36123862
that one is one in a million

keep it to fantasy, reality will crush you

>>36123862
Trannies aren't a fetish just like sucking cock isn't a fetish. Just means you're a bender.

>>36123883
I'm 19, not a virgin

>>36123886
>>36123888
Don't think I could ever shag one in real life lads

>>36123853
Nothing really. While I was working I had delusions that it would be something i'd be good at enjoy, but I just lacked the time. I just don't seem to have back for it at all though and I find it incredibly boring. I guess I was just trying to live up to the 4chan stereotype. Now I don't know what to do though.

>>36123906
>Don't think I could ever shag one in real life lads

Said literally every person at the beginning of that fetish

>>36123862
Could be worse if you were a /b/tard you'd be a pedophile by now

>>36123862
Fuck, man. Don't post that shit or you'll get me back into it. I'm constantly living in shame because of the weird fetishes I picked up here.

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>tfw just played games with a girl for 4 hours and she said she enjoyed it
Suck it nerds. I'm out of here.

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>>36123862
its a slippery slope lad, be careful

>>36123885
>Paid more than our Prime Minister to maybe someday make some furry porn

>>36123923
Mabyn graphic design is more for you?

>>36123946
her teeth are absolutely fucking revolting

>>36123942
I'm glad she has a new brotherly figure to play games with

>>36123927
Unless they were VERY passable and I was drunk I probably would desu but I wouldn't fuck a guy in thigh highs like most the prison gays here

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>>36123975
i find the teeth cute

>>36123971
No creative talent either. I'm just destined to be a drone desu.

>>36124000
Anyone have the source on this? Lads?

>>36123965
There's a guy earning nearly 20 grand making multiple 3D videos of Lara Croft fucking a horse

>https://www.patreon.com/animopron

Ha, he took his total down, but still

If you're a creative NEET, make porn

>>36123971
I'd say he would have a harder time with Graphic Design now days as that is beginning to want you to be able to work more than just Illustrator or Photoshop. Some want elements of being able to code, video edit etc.

Might as well skip that shit and skip straight to the coding, at least with that you can find Graphic Designers who need a coder.

Sometimes you just want to sing about lidl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kg7-RPLB5LU

>>36123965
Create value for others and they will create value for you.

>>36124031
He hates coding (I share his sentiment)

You don't want to do it as a job if you hate it.

>>36123862
Today you want to fuck them
Tomorrow you want to be them

be careful lad

>>36124105
>implying its possible to have job that isn't shit (Unless you are already rich or some chad cunt)

1) Spend 2 years learning to draw with /ic/ while working as a night-time security guard
2) Build up a bit of a following on 4chan and tumblr
3) Sell out and make a Patreon
4) Quit your job to work full time as a porn artist
Worked for me. I'm poor but I have time to watch a few anime episodes every day and I don't have to leave my flat. You'll make more if you draw anthro and futa but that's a thorny path.

Is it possible to learn to make myself cry, like a woman?

It's a strangely effective method of stress relief. The only problem is, the only thing that brings me remotely close to crying is having an argument with myself and begging myself to stop, and that can't cross the crying threshold because I usually realize how ridiculous it is mid way and laugh and stop.

>>36124133
This. Well, in my experience. The day I realised this was the day I dropped it.

>>36124081
i like lidl too.

>>36124154
You get any pics of your work for (reddit)science?(/reddit)

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Hey, lad. Guess what

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>>36122971
>>36123116
>cute
not 100% convinced on that one

>>36124081
alternatively https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idSlulndglg

>>36124235
really wish you wouldnt post that anon

Lovely weather this lads desu. Got the window slightly open. There's a nice warm breeze. The rustle of the trees and the odd bird noise. Other than that its completely silent. Got one leg over my quilt cover and my pillow feels cool.

I'm having a cracking time

got it down to half health that time
this is REALLY pissing me off

>>36124321
But yet you are aware of having to breath.

>>36124028
>That sort of animated porn literally illegal in the UK

It's like the government are trying to stop us earning money

>>36124291
It's kind of hot how carelessly she splays her body.

>>36124291
Abdul looks decidedly unimpressed.

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>>36122927
Yo I'm not brit, I am Czech.

But tonight i was walking around town searching for weed and I met a gypsy with some really shitty weed, but fuck it I wanted that high.

Anyway he just got back from England because he had some trouble with the law there. He also talked about pervitin(meth in English?) so i guess he was selling it on y'all towns.


Asked him about kind of childhood friend that he also moved to England about 8 years ago.

Wouldn't you fucking believe it, the girl who was with the guy is my childhood friend sister!

Turns out my boy got himself gig in some England restaurant and plays the piano there! Pretty cool eh?

This was also first time I wasn't afraid to haggle so I didn't get (completely) ripped off. I mean I payed 150 czk for pic related.

But the guy was friendly plus he rolled it (from pic bag) so I felt socially obligated to buy from him despite knowing it's expensive and shit quality+quantity.

He gave me his number and said I should text him tomorrow. Probably gonna turn off phone for next couple of months.

>>36124021
Never mind. Found it
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph57e05fa267f86

>>36124291
>When there's white trash to rape and you're not with the gang

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>>36124493
Well I just ate a doughnut.

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>>36124520
>>36124488
>>36124463
don't get me wrong i would definitely hit it but that doesn't mean much
pic related me on the left

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Real waifu hours, who up? Smash that mf post button!

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>tfw need a poo but if I go now and flush I'll wake my dad up and if I don't flush I have to bank on waking up before everyone else so I can

>>36124599
I'd definitely hit it but my standards are pretty much 'don't be fat' so whatevs.

>>36124605
smash that mf guro button

>>36124636
Or maybe shitting yourself in your sleep

Go do a poo

>>36124538
Fascinating, please tell me more.

BUT WAIT!Do it, originally.

>tired but can't sleep

truly the worst feel

>>36124636
shit in a bag and throw it over into your neighbours yard

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>>36124605
Alright, lad. How's things?

>>36124768
Pretty good, lad. Just installed Arch in a VM.
Hope you're doing well.

>>36124844
Doing pretty well. Played games with a qt streamer for a couple of hours today which was fun.

Absolute state of women on Adultwork, lads

Not worth my albion shekels

>>36124756
This is the sensible thing to do

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>>36124636
>tfw the poo isn't big and satisfying
Should probably tweak my diet

This season of Always Sunny was proper shite.

>>36124927
>Not holding your poos in to ensure the biggest and most satisfying poo

>>36124947
Is there a new one lad?

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>>36124605
/up/ here, sitting in bed with a fan pointing at me.
Wishing I had some iced tea

>>36124976
Episode? No the season finished.

But they made alot of big plot changes and it ends on a cliffhanger but really you don't want any of these characters to grow up because it's less funny.

>>36125017
>really you don't want any of these characters to grow up
Aren't they all in their mid 30s anyways?

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I'm making a tinder account lads. I bought a cheap phone tripod just so i can take some photos that aren't all shit selfies. Can't wait to get into the dating game and meet a nice qt like pic related.

>>36125028
Grow up as in stop being horrible people stuck in a rut. Mac finally comes out fully as homosex for example and Charlie does some stuff with the waitress.

>>36125056
Ah fairs, I don't think it's so bad. It's been 12 seasons I don't think they can ride the same jokes over and over

>>36124636
Are you the anon that shit himself and sat in it until his dad went to work?

>>36125092
Surprised it was still good after 3 seasons, barely any US sitcoms manage that, they all just end up feeling like soap operas

>>36125134
No, I'm not. When did this happen?

>>36125148
Probably a few months ago now. I think he was in his late 20s as well. Poor bastard gave me a good laugh though.

>>36124927
You gotta hold it in for at least 5 days, that's what I do

I'm so happy lads I've finally managed to do some work after a week of procrastinating

It was only 10 minutes worth but I've gotten started at least

>pissed up blokes outside fucking about singing and dancing
>watch them out my window cos they're making a bunch of noise
>theres about 30 blokes absolutely amy winehoused
>starts getting a bit rowdy
>erupts into a fuck off brawl in the middle of the estate between these 30 blokes who im assuming are all ''''friends''''
>overspill skirmishes happening on peoples front gardens
>some geezer gets put through a fence
>goes on for about 5 minutes before they all start shaking hands and chanting
>walk off as if nothing happened

what the fuck lads? is this what happens on lads nights out?

>>36125271
Seems like you've had your first encounter with The Irish.

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fucking finally
I hope vendrick is easier

>>36125435
This isn't /v/

/original/

>>36125435
you playing SotFS or vanilla?

>>36125469
Fifa 2017

>>36125435
Why not just play Mike Tyson's Punch Out? It's the same game but less tedious

>>36125469
vanilla, on my ps3

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>tfw watching the simpsons episode where homer goes to a mental institute and now I'm missing MJ

>>36125299
Can confirm, still have a chunk of fence from the old country

might have a cheeky beer in bed

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>go to chinatown bakery
>pandan buns, pork chop buns, pork buns, pineapple buns, coconut cream buns, moon cakes, sweet bean buns, peanut cakes, sesame balls, mochi, deep fried doughnuts etc
>go to a british bakery
>wow... tiger bread... brown rolls... bloomers.. shittily done croissants, shittily done pain au chocolates, jam doughnut aka shitty bread with cheap marmalade inside...

fuck, how can you be next door to france and not inherit even 1% of their culinary skills?

>>36126096
slippery slope
next you'll be eating crisps in bed

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>>36126244
Tempting, I feel cheese and biccies in bed is a good combo

>>36126194
Local bakeries are usually bretty gud. The chain ones are definitely a bit shit though.

>>36126194
We hate the french with such a passion that we purposely removed words that were pronounced in a french way. Of course we won't accept their cuisine.

Paranoid about balding lads. Are there any tricks to spot it early? I can't tell if my hairline has moved.

>>36126454
I know how you feel. My dad started balding in his mid 20s and I'm concerned about following suit

>>36126454
You only have two choices, ignore it or pay and apply/take expensive shit daily for the rest of your life with side effects

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I am fucking Coke;d up on P E P S I

>>36126556
I'm not too bothered about my dick not working. I've given up on having a sex life.

>>36126600
why do you care about being bald then

>>36126648
Vanity. I like my hair.

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>its that 5-8am slot where britfeel completely dies and I'm left alone contemplating my existence

>>36126687
britfeel is asleep and i am still awake

I need to get a grip

>>36127160
still here lad but thinking about trying to sleep

>>36127178
every time i try and sleep i just start thinking about death until i wake up again

>>36127215
What do you think about dying?

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Downloading some scary films that i'll watch later on on my own in the dark.

Any recommendations?

I've seen loads so chances are i'll have seen it if it's a popular one.
Also i won't say which ones i have ready to watch because i know cunts like to spoil stuff for others.

>tfw no qt gf to watch scary movies with

>>36127371
what sort do you like lad

>tfw I've been lying in bed crying because I've realised I'll never be happy

>>36126324
u callin greggs shit ill smack you right in the gob

>>36127160
i was memeing on shamchat

>>36127399
>>36127371
I'll watch pretty much any but i prefer ones where there's a lot of mystery involved - some of my favourites in no order would be

>The Descent
>It Follows
>The Babadook
>Sinister
>The Ring
>The Grudge
>Blair Witch project
>Oculus
>The Witch
>Let The Right One In

zombie tier

>Train to Busan
>28 days later

cash cow tier

>Paranormal activity and the sequels
>Insidious and the sequels

Don't really like the slasher sub-genre, and if the film is an old one from like 30+ years ago i tend not to like it because the limited special effects and camera quality takes me out of the immersion and i just can't find it scary, that might make me a pleb but i don't care, although i don't really get scared from films these days.

>>36127371
>Midnight Meat Train
>Housebound
>Deathgasm

>>36127251
we'll all die one day and literally spend forever in nothingness, how has the world not come together and tried to figure out a way to live forever

>>36128140
I was diagnosed with cancer three weeks ago. I've been thinking about death alot recently. Some days it's comforting, others it's emotionally draining.

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Sun is shining through the side of my blinds and blinding me, fuck spring and summer

>>36128214
What cancer? what symptoms did u have and how did you end up getting diagnosed?

I'm so hungry that I'm gonna have dinner for breakfast, lads.

>>36122927
Robot from France up, bonjoir

I wish that casket in things betwixt was real

>>36128328
iktf lad (or lass)

>>36128299
are you going to vote in the election? Who do you think is going to win?

>>36128370
I have no clue anon, but Marine will lose thrust me

>>36128415
kinda hoping she wins so the EU falls apart, why will she lose?

>>36128299
I'm craving croissants now and it's all your fault.

>>36128264
>what cancer
Kidney cancer. Thought I pulled an oblique muscle, pissed blood, went to Dr. Doc through it was kidney stones, then a renal hematoma, and finally cancer (12cm tumor). They're afraid it's spread to my lungs because of nodules and a large white mass in my left lung (making it stage 4), so I just had my lung biopsied. Find out Tuesday results. It's very surreal knowing that death is a literal possibility, that it might just be around the corner.

>>36128482
shit thats rough if true, got any plans if you are given a death sentence?

>>36128459
France is socialist to the bone, the heritage of the revolution and all
She can win first vote easy but french people love the EU and will all vote against her on second vote, as usual

>>36128482
you'd think doctors would be more attentive to possible cancer
I had a mass in my leg which turned out to be benign, but I was first diagnosed with thrombosis, then tendinopathy, and then I finally had an MRI

>>36128551
i thought the public opinion was changing will all the terror attacks they have been having recently?

>>36128584
No that is fake news anon, Marine is vilified by 90% of french

>Be you
>Be a teenager again
>Your mum just tells you that a pretty girl thats our age is coming over
>She has to pop to the shop
>She also say the girl will be staying over
>Your room is biggest so it will have to be there
What do?

>>36128688
who is this girl? why is a random girl we don't know staying over? why can't she sleep in the spare room instead of my room? why are you popping to the shop and what relevence does that have to this converstion? none of this makes any sense

>>36128688
Tell her to fuck off and sleep on the couch because it's my room.

>>36128511
>any plans
Not really. Honestly my future is so murky, with so much left to be determined, it's more processing life day to day than thinking much beyond Tuesday.

>>36128576
Within three days of my first Dr visit, and after two CT scans and a bone scan, they came to the kidney cancer conclusion and lung worry. I had to wait a week to get the biopsy, and another week to get the results. Its been pretty expedient so far. I empathize with your story nonetheless.

Listwning to early manics. Forgot how fucking good these lads were.

>>36128938
my misdiagnosis where months apart, the whole thing took years
all the while I was in pain, so I'm a little bitter

>>36129123
That's pretty mind blowing. Good thing it was benign, those fuckers could have inadvertently killed you.

oi fuckers why's the thread dead

>>36129819
people are probably sleeping

been sat in the same position in a very warm room for about 16 hours
got a serious case of swamp ass

Roast beef monster munch for breakfast

haven't had breakfast yet lads. been chatting shit on shamchat.

>>36128966
Band of my teenage years, still love the first three albums. Now you've put me in the mood for a bit of Faster.

>>36129819
Killed by cancer talk.

what should I ask me mam to make me for breakfast? or should I just have cold pizza?

>>36130018
Cold pizza is a win

>>36130034
not takeaway cold pizza just an asdas one, but I'll trust you and go for it if you tell me it's still decent

>>36130048
Now you've said that get some coco pops and toast

Hell no, church is gay mate

I need to masturbate but my sister stayed over and won't leave.

>>36130279
Ask for a handjob. That's what sisters are for

>>36130119
If I promise to go to church on Sunday
Will you go out with me on Friday night?

>>36126600
I chose this path lad. Actually dick still works fine, my sex drive just isn't ever in savage rape mode though. Possibly a good thing. Generic finasteride is cheap.

God I wish I was neet
It's impossible to be jobless for more than a week in the south before the job agency text me with "his anon we've got some work starting tomorrow "
JUST LET ME BE NEET DAMMIT
REEEEEEEEEEE

>>36129819
Doing a depression, might go to sleep soon

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>>36124605
>dreaming about britfeel characters

Maybe I should spend less time on here

hello and good morning, i think today i was try to order a pizza and cry for a bit

>>36130392
which characters? hope it was me desu

>>36127633

>greggs

only the working class/chavs have a pallete that could stand that garbage.

Though to be fair, sausage rolls and other puff pastry shit is the british equivalent of the american poptart/hotpocket, so you can't really do much about it.

>>36130473

Mr Cuddles and Len

>>36122927

>tfw need to do something risky to pay the bills

wml lads

>>36130599
ah yes the len harem

you'd make a good couple desu

Why won't they fix the secret board

Birds?

fuck off tripnigger you attention seeking faggot

>past exam papers released
>can't do any of it
Fuck.

Who /hospitalworker/ here? 99% of the people in healthcare are miserable

>>36131140
dunno how you can stand to treat niggers and pakis when you know they are trying to erode and destroy the very fabric of this country

>make plans with a friend
>cancels cause his exgf's internet wasnt working and she wanted him to fix it
>rescheduled for today

think he'll show up lads?

>>36131156
Teenage paki tits are worth it

>>36131193
kill yourself ethno masochist

>>36131221
mmmm another /pol/tard triggered, feels REALLY good

>>36131024
whats the exam?

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>>36124605

>too hot
>open window
>bee comes in

HOW CAN ANYONE LIVE LIKE THIS

>>36131269
>he doesn't have a screen

poorfags disgust me

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Reminder that /ourdoc/ used to euthanise robots upon request

I just need to vent like this is my personal blog lads.

>been working out 5 times a week for 2 months
>1200 calorie diet
>lifting, cardio, really committing myself here
>gained weight

Feeling super shitty. Could have probably smashed a takeaway last night and maintained as I did before I started this healthy lifestyle.

Think I'm going to have to go back to 500 calorie fast days to be able to actually lose weight. Either that or go back to doing drugs on a weekend so I spend two days not eating.

>tfw pakipoo can lose weight by sitting on his fat paki arse being a tranny and you can't

>>36131330
are you sure you didnt just gain muscle?

>>36131344
Are you sure you want to fucking reply to me? GO away.

>>36131344

Yeah probably but fucking hell lad, I just want to be super light and skinny.

I've lost 4 inches on my waist and hips. I took before and after photos and I look better now. It's just so reeeeeee-ingly annoying that other people can drop weight by giving up fizzy pop or something, yet I'm doing it hardcore and getting nowhere.

Just being a butthurt fatty though mate, sorry to blog.

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Fucking hell lads, it's been quite a week.

The police are accusing me of murdering one of my patients, the paparazzi have been up here too taking pics.

It's really taken the wind out of me, thankfully my patients have been so loyal and supportive, and they've all given the police a piece of their mind.

I just don't think I can carry on for much longer like this, as if I of all people would be a murderer. I wish Kathleen hadn't even left me anything in her will, it's just caused nothing but trouble.

How are you lads anyway?

>>36131371
im a butthurt fatty as well dont worry mate, i was so mad at myself i kept doing pushups yesterday and refused to eat, probably going to end up pigging out today like the fatty i am though

>>36131330
>1kcal a day eating whatever I want (usually mini pizzas and gingerbread)
>lost 70kg in 7 months
>will carry on until I hit 65kg, then eat 1700 a day

life's good

>start new job
>actually enjoy it
>coworkers see how lively I am and keep calling out or asking me to stay late
>say yes because I'm the "new guy"

It stops tomorrow. I'm starting spring classes and these niggas have no clue that their little yes man won't be able to cover their shifts.

>>36130732
>new info about posters here
>board goes down

rly makes you think

>>36131428

Wew lad - well done. I have nowhere near that much to lose but you are an inspiration.

I like working out because it makes me look better than just cutting calories. I did well on the genetic lottery. I just want to be a short petite qt but my body type doesn't allow.

>>36131413

Resist the urge anon. I just ate a bowl of weetabix rather than destroying some beaut sausages.

>>36131489
I made a right mess of myself being a whale
stretch marks and saggy skin all over
but I'lll take them over not being fat any more

https://youtu.be/64IG5rhE2uc

>this is what our taxes are paying for

>>36131522
not going to link on the video and give them a view, but what is the dislike bar like?

>>36131509
this is the main thing that demotivates me from getting into shape

im 6'2 and about 15.5 stone, whats the point in me putting in fuck loads of effort to drop the weight only to look like shit anyway

>>36131526

It has 162 views, 15 likes and 4 dislikes

>>36131509

I was going to ask about skin and assumed you would have been affected, but didn't want to upset you if you had.

This is why I workout so hard. I'm scared of looking skinny fat I think.

>>36131522

In the related is a paki man and white man 'Amit and Paul'

Jesus fucking christ.

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>>36131522
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MogFbChAC0w

this looks even worse

>>36131599
>>36131604
kek, good spot

>>36131604
>>36131599

Would it have been so hard to change the 'T' for an 'R'?

>>36131554
it was my own fault
not too upset about things I can't change

>>36131330
5 times a week is too much, you should do it max 3 times unless you're hitting different muscle groups each time, you need to give your muscles time to rest and rebuild between workouts, at least a day

also there's no way you have gained weight on 1.2kcal diet while also working out 5 times a week - just from a calorie in calorie out perspective it's literally not physically possible you must be counting wrong or you are 4ft tall

Lads tell me this:

Why are the native population of this country so easily intimidated?

And why do the women love black men so much?

Are they linked?

>>36131709

Only a minority of white women ever sleep with a black man

The majority of black women sleep with white men.

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>>36131709
white bois just can't compete with black cock, it's just not fair to have two ethnic groups who have such different capabilities competing in the same environment - would be like letting women complete in the same group as men in the olympics

>>36131757
>it's just not fair to have two ethnic groups who have such different capabilities competing in the same environment

I agree, the black population is falling as fast as the mixed population is rising.

Really tells you something, bleaching on an industrial scale.

what you drinking lads? cheeky white russian here

g-guess whos gonna be a dad lads haha

>>36131704

Hence my frustration. I'm 5ft7 tall. I log all my food as well, plus I try to stick to one portion sizes so I don't over estimate.

I really don't struggle with the five times a week thing - my workouts are mostly cardio and then I come home to do my lifts. I alternate between different muscle groups so I'm not overworking myself.

My legs are always killing by the end of the week but it doesn't affect the intensity of my workouts. I do cardio this often purely to increase my fitness and burn calories.

As I said, I've lost a lot of inches and fat from around my body. It's working, it's just the weight thing which is confusing me. Water weight maybe? I don't know.

>>36131825

Congratulations anon.

How long have you been with the mother of your child?

>>36131825

Daniel is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9ehuVfEJ5c

Are you too? Tell us more lad

>>36131816
Going to pour a gin and tonic soon. Will probably finish off the bourbon from last night this afternoon too

>>36131816
Vimto, they didn't have the no added sugar one which tastes better :(

>>36131849
thanks lad, just over a year

>>36131853
what can i tell you

>>36131825
best of luck to you pal

>>36131825
Congrats laddie

How's everyone's day going so far? Anyone gonna watch the golf later?

>>36132012
Good luck lad.

Don't let me become like us lot.

>>36131825
Tyrone is?

>>36124161
crying is actually controlled by hormones. women dont cry all the time just bc their retarded (debatable) they are biologically engineered to find crying much easier than men.

>>36131825
You mean a step-dad, top cuck.

>>36128688
tell her we can have sex but i wan put it in her bumhole

>you will never be a cat

They've got it pretty good

>>36131825
Don't fuck this up, lad.

>>36131825

Just remember lad, it's never too late to ghost her.

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>>36132289
>you will never be mr cuddles

life is cruel

>>36132318

Not a fan of doggies, they look mean.

>>36131825
just make sure it doesnt end up in the same position as us

>have to go to work
>just want to stay home and play persona

never leave NEETdom lads. It's a fucking trap. I miss it so much.

>>36132472

But I want to afford nice trainers, lad.

>>36132318
mr cuddles is too big if you ask me, i think his breed should be added to the dangerous dog list and banned

>>36132289
Are cats the ultimate robots? They sleep all day. Don't have jobs. Most likely virgins. Can't communicate properly. Detest everyone around them. If you aren't a cat you should make like a normie and leave desu.

>struggling to hold back urge to order pizza

>>36132524
Ordering a pizza at 12 in the afternoon? What the fuck lad

>>36132541
Midday pizza is underrated desu. You should give it a try

>>36123625
ALL ALONG WATCH YOU PUMPING MY RETARD AS YOU FILL ME WITH TAR AS YOU PARTY LAYING BEAAAARS

Lads, do you know if cock splurping is now considered a full time sport?

>>36132494
why? they're not nasty dogs lad they're temperament is calm and gentle

>>36132566

You hoping to go to the Olympics?

>>36132318
Taking mr cuddles to see a horny bitch on heat today. He's a top shagger

>>36132494
He's a lover not a fighter.

>>36132571
I just think I'd better at it than something like tennis or archery

>>36132576

>lover not a fighter

They all are until they maul a toddler

>>36124235
Well, that's had me checking every corner of my house again. Thanks you cunt

>>36132576
Good lad, mr cuddles deserves a bit of fanny for being such a goodboy

>>36132541
I didn't know there was a specific time for pizza.

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>>36132524
>struggling with the urge to crack open a beer

>>36132589
Toddlers shouldn't go around putting their faces in dogs mouths. Ban toddlers

GET A LIFE, BIN THAT DOG

just walked past booze busters and there were about 10 people stood outside waiting for it to open

>>36132648
You'll see them all marching in single file to Wetherspoons in about ten minutes

>>36132594
He's a very good boy. Taking him to pets at home to buy him a knuckle, i'm going to let him have it when he gets home from being a top shagger. I imagine it to be like the post fuck cigarette

>>36132641

Good point anon, good point. I hate toddlers, glad I never was one.

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What would you do if you won the lottery.

Let's say 5 million

Here's me, don't judge

>Buy house, not mansion but big and comfy
>One of the rooms I'd make into my own office
>Pictures of Pepe framed on the wall
>Big large desk near the middle of the room with nice of
>I am the CEO of anon corporation
>Invest some money, create investment portfolio
>I spend an hour or so a day managing my portfolio and drinking coffee
>Buy good coffee and coffee maker
>Play vidya
>Drink alot of gin and tonic
>Turn on the heating and get comfy

Of course, id spend some helping people out and some charity shit,but this is about what you'd do for yourself, something strange other than I'd buy a car , I'd go on holiday etc

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I'm eating a bowl of chicken flavoured super noodles to be honest lads

>inb4 patrician
They didn't have any other flavours in the paki shop

>>36132665
how many of his puppers you keeping lad?

>>36132682
>build house, just a normal looking house
>live in a hidden bunker underneath like pic related
>get drunk and program, watch tv etc
>have a woman to do my shopping and cooking
>hope it lasts until I die

>>36132682
Charity is a money sink scam

>>36132682
I'd do all that but without the working bit. Also I'd buy a tonne of fuck pillows and all the expensive/rare anime figs and make a weeb cave

>>36132742
>and make a weeb cave
tfw already have a weeb cave and never won the lottery

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>>36132726
wrong pic, this one, obviously not as futuristic but you get the idea

>>36132682

>Buy a house on the coast for me
>also buy loads of other shit properties
>rent them out without improving any of them
>become slumlord

Ideally I would have an entire block of flats but that might be a bit pricey.

>>36132758
Cost more than 5 mil that

>>36132773
I just meant the layout, you reckon it'd still cost over 5 mil? just for that layout in a bunker?

>>36132773
>>36132783
did not mean to sound like a dick, my questions are genuine

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>>36132754
I'm sure you don't have all the loot you could ever want yet though. I'm talking like melonpan levels of weebness here. Like a fuckmaster 5000 with the 5 customisable holes and nut collection tray

>tfw so autistic im not even a man-child, more a man-toddler

>>36132758
>coffins
for what purpose

>>36132725
Just the one lad. i'll be taking the best female from the litter. Not planning on breeding her though, the idea is that she could be a play mate for cuddle's sister, he plays a bit too rough for her sometimes.

Getting my 500 quid today too.

>>36132805

For your victims

Watching Peep Show, the season where Mark and Sophie are due to get married but Mark doesn't want to, so does increasingly shitty things to make her leave.

It's amazing how similar this is to my life a few years ago. Frighteningly so. So much that I can't even find it funny, it's just depressing.

>>36132815

Yeah that part was an uncomfortable watch, it hit a bit too close to home.

>they're tears of joy

>>36132812
calm down lenlad

>>36132682
>Move off my pikey site
>Buy a nice house somewhere in Devon
>Donate a bit to the Blue Cross/RSPCA also that big children's hospital in London
>Live a life of fucking latina escorts and taking charly until my inevitable heart attack

>>36132766
you ever watch that nightmare tenants programme lad? renting shit tier housing is just a headache
example off the top of my head: if they don't pay rent and you kick them, you have to wait 3 weeks for them to collect all their stuff before you chuck it

>tfw you dream about a girl who has a massive crush on you and when you wake up you fall into a horrible depression because she's not real

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>>36132792
Close lad.. one day I'll have something so perfect

ignore the empty spot, the poster fell off and I need to find something to stick it back up with

>>36132873
jesus christ lad what do your parents think