>tfw no bf

So... how was your day, then?

>>35421367

My wallpaper is a cute pic of my gf and her cat. :)

>>35421367
>tfw no qt bf to ask how your day was
I already do this..
>tfw no bf that has you as his phone wallpaper
When I fall in love with some girl or at least I like her in a hardly way I used her pi as my phoe wallpaper
>tfw no bf that explaines confusing show/movie plots
I understood Evangelion fist time I watched it
>tfw no bf to fall asleep with in calls together
I was on skype once for like 10 hours with a girl

So you'll tell me OP, where you at?

>>35421419
>Only 10 hours

>>35421458
was my last e-gf.

I literally did everything what OP posted

>>35421386
Thank you for asking me
My teeth hurt but I dont know why OR maybe its just a headache
How was your day?

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>>35421485

Same but I only mentioned the wallpaper because I look at it every day.

>>35421485
I'm sorry anon, youre just not good enough for Roastie McGee over here. Only the best for daddy's little princess

>>35421537
Are you OP?
>>35421543
What you mean?

>>35421522
Mine was okay. Watched Logan, it was alright.

rule 16

>>35421367
i'll be your bf

nah just kidding lol go fuck yourself OP

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>>35421367
I did it all but she still left in the end

>>35421558

No I'm not OP stromboli

You'll get one easily. Just stop being fat. And stop having a penis.

>>35421649
Its not that simple
>tfw not ready for a bf but cant stop thinking about it and cute things you'll do together
That makes it sound like I have a penis, maybe I do maybe I dont

>Tfw dad won't make me his wife
I heard he has to take a bunch of Viagra just to fuck my obese mom, he's even admitted to me when he was drunk its because he finds her disgusting now.

>>35421837
Are you that same fembot who is in love with her dad and wants to do absolutely anything to make him happy because your mom is a fat piece of shut?

>>35421367

FUCJ OFF OYU WHORE GET OUT RIGHT NOW REEEEEEEE OUTTT

>>35421367
Well I'm applying for this position. I'll do my best to be a great bf

Why can women never understand movie plots jfc

>>35421900
Yeah that was me. My obsession with making my dad my husband is getting worse. I made him home made chocolate peanut butter cups today and all my mom did was bitch to him about her 4 hour job.

>>35421983
Have you told your dad you love him?

>>35422055
I haven't told him I'm romantically attracted to him. But I hug him and tell him I love him all the time.

>>35422072
>>35421983
DISGUSTING.

You need to get a bf who loves you asap, that's simply ewwwwwwwww. I'm willing to be your bf!

>>35422072
Sounds like you aren't going to get what you want, unless it ends up going your way, and your mother is out of the picture.

>>35421983
Here's what you do. Wait until your dad is drunk again and sobbing about his life and wife. Sit down next to him and comfort him. Put your head into his lap. Totally normal dad/daughter behavior so far. Now the tricky part. Slowly, sneakily move your head and hands, the goal is to feel him get a boner. When you feel something stir in his pants, go for it. Unzip his pants. Start blowing him. Make him come in your mouth and swallow it.

Once you have done that it's all open territory.

>>35422121
Hands off, she's mine. I'm older than you so I can be her daddy bf.

>>35421969
I am a bad gf I am self improving
But I can advise you to do things in my OP and you will be a great bf

>>35421969
Well, how big are your muscles and do you have abs?

>>35422218
Wouldn't that be raping my dad? When he sobers up he'll be pissed.

>"tfw no bf :("
>20 anons tripping over each other trying to be your bf

every time.

>>35422234
This isn't mee
>>35422242
This is me though

>>35422242
>Well, how big are your muscles
Pretty darn big
>and do you have abs?
Only slightly visible

>>35422245
He will be too happy to receive a blowjob to make you stop. And once he sobers up... he'll feel embarrassment more than anything else. Worst case, he pretends it never happened. Best case, he might be more open to take things further.

>>35422242
I'm skelly mode. But I'm way taller than you (probably) so maybe that helps

hahahahah MFW WHEN I AM A HISPANICH CHAD LIKE RICKY MARTIN LOSERS

Damn. I really want a gf to have as my phone wallpaper.

>>35422287
Ugh, nope

>>35422273
Jesus christ dude stop giving her shitty advice. No normal dad would ever fuck their daughter. I can never get the image of wiping shit out of my daughters vag out of my head. The idea of her dating guys, let alone fucking any, disturbs me to no end. She has a good relationship with her father, which is rare in women, and you are going to make her mess it up because of your sick fetish.

>>35422253
>>35422310
Quit trolling the poor thirstybots, fag

>>35422300
dubs show white people BTFO

>>35421367
I did this once. I'm a turbo hiki and so was she so we just basically sat in a Skype call with each other 24/7 for a few months. Our longest call was 4 days I think. We watched movies and played vidya and had lewd phone sex every night before we went to sleep.

It was pretty great. But like everyone else I meet online she moved on with her life. Went to college/got a job. Haven't talked to her since.

>>35422242
I max 250 on bench and 300 on squat, no abs but extremely strong pelvic and upper body muscles

>>35422273
I might try it when were both drunk and alone.

But the question is, what kind of fucked up break down or emotional manipulation will you use on me in between the fun times?

Yeah I'm a normie and there won't be nothing like that "be miserable together" bullshit anymore. I tried it in the past, being with shut in bipolar and it was, by far, the worst experience I've had in terms of any human relations and I was raised by a man who used to beat me and tell me I'd never achieve anything in my life.

If you want a bf and you are mentally fucked up (you probably are considering you attention whore yourself on frogland), fucking get help and fix your damn self. that applies to guys as well. Just because messed up females can get dick by virtue of men being thirsty as fuck even for crazy ass bitches doesn't mean anyone with a mental illness deserve love unless they are willing to work on themselves.

Oh and don't try that "I'm willing to be helped" trick because I've seen it before. Help yourself you fucking nutcase.

That being said, that's probably why you have no bf.

I love to project.

>>35422341
Sure, maybe you can bench me I weigh 219 lbs lol

>>35422350
Don't do it. Your obsession with him is only because you're lonely and have a desire to please. If you do anything weird you'll definitely mess everything up forever, and you'll end up even more lonely because at that point you'll lose what you currently have with your dad.

Also stop being in all the threads I go to.

/r9k/ - Dating/Hookups and Relationship Advice

>>35422379
I was here first. This a tfw no bf. You don't have that feel.

>>35422381
>/r9k/ - Dating/Hookups and bad Relationship Advice

Fixed that for you.

>>35422372
THICC you tryna get the pipe???

>>35422381
>>35422437

>/r9k/ - Dating Roleplaying and Incestual Fantasies

Fixed that for Y'all

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>Iong distance relationships

>>35422507
Not really. There are lots of girls on /r9k/ because its pretty much the easiest place on the internet to get smothered in attention.

>>35422507
>/r9k/ - Prison gays, until a real woman comes along

Fixed again

>tfw no gf to cuddle after spilling your seed deep inside her

>>35422607
>There are lots of girls on /r9k/

As an ex female (male) , you made fembot threads a whole lot of fun

How do you hold a conversation for longer than 5 minutes, I'm never getting a gf am i

>>35422662
If you give her wordy responses, stop doing that

>>35422669
Im very shy about speaking this will be no issue

>>35421367
h-hi.. i can be that guy if u give me chance..

>>35422224
Contacts? I'm bored and lonely it'd be nice to have someone to talk to.

>>35422765
>shy

This is your problem. Women can detect this, and it dries their vagoos up. Be confident and short, not shy and short.

>>35422893
How did you know I was short? You be sayin I shud bee myself

>>35422929
>How did you know I was short?

Only manlets are shy in current year. If you're > 6'0", it's impossible to be shy with all the poon flying at your face

>>35423019
Then how come you're still a virgin at 6'2"?

>>35422850
Not so keen on posting contacts on /r9k/. But you just want to talk? That's fine too. I'm an older guy in Europe.

>>35421367
Look you can have all that bullshit as long as you fuck and suck dick. OK ? Got it?

>>35423064
>virgin at 6'2"

Because I'm 6'4" :-)

Gotta blast, kiddo! These roasties aren't going to finger themselves

>>35423074
If I gave you a throwaway would you send me your skype or discord?

That wasn't original apparently.

>>35423120
Don't have kik? That's my preferred method for just 4chan chat.

>>35423118
Ah, that makes more sense. At 6'4" you're nearly guaranteed to be a permavirgin.

>>35421367
>>""("fembot")""
Traps should go to >>>/lgbt/

>>35423019

Everybody can tell how much of a true woman expert you are. Thanks for gracing us with your presence.

>Girls don't like shy.

And this is how I know you are full of shit. Girls don't like pussy bitches, they don't like fear, they don't like feeling like they have the upper hand on a man. Shy is cute to them. You can be as shy as you want as long as you're not scared to let things happen or make a move. shy and fear are two different things.

>Le tall man maymay.

All the people with the most confidence that I've known were amongst the shortest. It's like a pattern. They have no choice but to be sure of themselves since they have a big something to compensate for. Invertidly, most tall people I've known were unconfident about some other thing. It's all a fucking meme. Women like confidence mostly. No matter how you look, unless you are absolutely horrifying to look at or are unkempt as fuck, if a girl tells herself "This guy has guts", You've already broken the ice and have done most of the work right there. That might be why girls like assholes because assholes are arrogant and girls have an hard time differenciating confidence from arrogance.

I'm tall and attractive, but when I was younger, I was a coward and women could smell the fear on me. They always treated me like a freak. As I grew older, I developed confidence and, suddenly, girls started approaching me.

What most here lack is just cobfidence, the rest is superficial. Good looks with a pussy bitch attitude nets you 0 results.

>>35421367
Whiny roastie got shot down by Chad.
Now whiny roastie is really sad.
Life is so cruel; Life is so unfair,
Why dont the Chads of r9k even care?

Beta autists are all she can get.
She knows they will never make her wet.
So she invades the robot space to cry
Knowing that before she touches a robot she will go bi.

Its just another day in the life of a roastie whore,
Now get off that computer and mop my fucking floor!

No boyfriend, no problem tbqh

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>>35423261
>permavirgin

KEK I've had sex more times than you've masturbated

W E W
E
W

@35423368

Wow, where do I start with this wall of obvious misinformation?

Let's see:
>shy is cute to them

Sure it is, but do women want to fuck cute things? Not a chance. They want to have their roastie butchered by a big burly alpha while he pulls her hair and smacks her ass. She wants to feel powerless. Btw shy is not fear, but they're both heavily correlated.

>As I grew older, I developed confidence and, suddenly, girls started approaching me

Jesus Christ. Halfway through your post you end up cucking yourself and agreeing with me. Ayy lmao, I thought I was gonna have to verbally massacre you but you're such a pussy bitch you bent over to take my dick.

Nice :-) I wouldn't mind to dagger some tight boipussy before I hit the clubs tonight. Hope you have some lube, sissy

>>35423625

Damn, son, you are one obnoxious douchebag.

>Big burly alpha

How cute. He's still in highschool and he thinks he knows what all bitches fancy. If you actually knew what the fuck you're talking about, you'd know every girl is different to, sometimes, ridiculous degree and I guess the same could be said of men as well. I have, once, been asked to piss on a girl while she plays with herself. and she explained to me that if she doesn't get pissed on she doesn't orgasm so you can be your imaginary burly alpha all you want, but you won't make her cum unless you're willing to piss on her. I know it's a far fetched example, but you gotta be the most basic of virgins to eat the meme that one type of guy satisfies all women. Now I agree with you that the vast majority of girls like to be roughed up and I'm always happy to oblige, but I have been with girls who didn't. If you pay 0 attention to how the girl behaves in bed and you both won't adjust, guess what, nigga? You gonna suck in bed and she's gonna tell everyone of her bitch friends that you're bad in bed. So congrats on confirming that you are, indeed, virginal as fuck or, at least, very inexperienced, but that's ok, open your horizons a bit and fuck more, you'll eventually get it.

>>35421392
please don't do this my heart aches

>>35421367
If you live in WA fembot, we can talk

>tfw qt bf
>kiss him everyday!

>>35422363
Implying you can't get help from bitching on a forum/imageboard.

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>>35421367
>tfw ex gf and I used to have skype calls for well over 100 hours
>tfw used to set pictures of my ex as my phone wallpaper
>tfw used to read ex to sleep

worst of all
>tfw she cheated on me, 3 times for a chad
>tfw she's meeting her new chad bf irl today


It's not worth it to get close to anyone, anon, you'll get screwed over in the end.

>>35422339
I feel ya anon. I never had an online relationship but had plenty of online friendships. They all end up moving on or in one case becoming homeless

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>>35421367
>tfw no qt bf to ask how her day was
>tfw no gf to have as my phone wallpaper
>tfw no gf to explain movie plots to
>tfw no gf to fall asleep with in calls together

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>>35421367

>tfw no bf that explaines confusing show/movie plots

YOULL NEVER UNDERSTAND

>>35427129
He's chasing a French ship and has to destroy it.

>>35425997
wait youve had skype calls for 4 straight days without hanging up? (100 hours)? hows that possible?

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>>35427182
Both of us were useless neets.

Same. Just got bullied at work for being ugly again. How am I supposed to build confidence and approach guys ever when I feel they're all laughing at me. It would help if I had a good fun social personality but I'm just the awkward ugly weirdo who is shit at the job..

Just want someone to spend my life with desu

>>35427464
I think the reason they're calling you ugly is because you're shit at your job.

>>35427525
It's a customer based job, which I'm too shy for. Not that relevant. but they are mocking me for who I am overall... And well. Because I'm ugly?

>>35427564
What do they say about your appearance?

>>35427643
Just joking between themselves about fancying me and shit. Just childish but it happens a lot and brings up old insecurities

>tfw no gf to get blazed with and cook delicious food together
>tfw no gf to drink a whole bottle of whiskey with and shitpost together
>tfw no gf to visit rail lines and sperg out with me

>>35427564
Unless you post proofs of you being ugly I won't believe it.

>>35427748
Lmao what kind of idiot posts their face on here. It would be equal parts desperate anons saying I'm not ugly and then sheer nastiness and insults. I'll pass

>>35427809
Well we're purely going off your own words, grow a pair woman.

>>35427849
Would you post your face on here?

>>35427849
Females do tend to be aware of where they stand in terms of attractiveness by a certain point in their life but it's always shit to be reminded and reduced to that.. I'm not fishing, I don't care but it's still shitty. You're on this board telling me to grow a pair though? Good one.

>>35421367
Where are you from?

Most original comment 2017

>>35421367

>>>/soc/

roastie git gone my dude

>implying you're an actual women and aren't just an ERPing man

>>35425997
OP here, I'm very sorry about that. It's horrible she did that to you, I wish you didn't have to go through that.

I know how you feel though about the being betrayed part and being unable to trust people now. But I still get these tfwnobf feels but cant really do anything about it

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>>35421367
Tonight i'm going on a 6th date with a guy I met on plenty of fish. If he's been taking me out all these times, which is twice a week, hopefully he wants to date me. Last date we parked in a dark empty parking lot to watch the stars...in the backseat...for three hours. I wanted to keep it innocent so we just made out viciously with our clothes on and groped each other.

He grabbed my boobs over my sweater, I got to feel his boner through his pants and it felt wet so that was nice. We would have done it longer but it hit 1:30am. Maybe tonight I'll take it further and have my top off and his dick out.

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>>35428216
>tfw missed out on innocent teenage love
>or at least 18 love

JUST

>>35422250
>20
More like 2. The rest just call OP a roastie like usual.

>>35428287
Nope we're both 23 and he used to be in a fraternity and I've had five partners.

We're still young and surprisingly prude this time, I guess we both don't want to mess this up.

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>>35427167
wow roasties really don't get it

>>35428088
Get a loyal robot bf who wouldn't dare leave anyone who loves him.

>>35428397
>23
>I've had five partners.

WHORES OUT

Jesus christ why are you on r9k. Roasties TRULY have no empathy or shame.