/britfeel/

>>35197581
tried to get a blowjob in a car today. Surprisingly difficult to find a place that isn't lit like a football field and swarming with normalshits

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some anarchist bitch raided my server with her /b/ tier faggots and is trying to talk to me

I'm gonna buy pork pies tomorrow lads

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my laptop arrives tomorrow aaaaaaaaaa its like christmas eve

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How far down are you?

>>35197929
between creep and weird

>>35197929
I would rate myself weird

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>>35197581
>mfw, forgot about pancake day

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looking for comfy games for my phone/tablet, what does /britfeel/ recommend?

Ate pancakes... had explosive diarrhea. Why is everything giving me the shits? FML

Is it just me or is it REALLY cold?

Like, worse than December cold?

>>35198111

i wouldnt mind swapping you now, ive just got into my 3rd cold or chest infection or whatever the fuck it is in 5 weeks, fucking depressing dessy

Lads what does a cancerous lump in the testicles feel like? I have a weird mass I can rub but it doesn't feel lumpy, sort of tubey

>>35198188
Get it checked out just to be on the safe side. Go to the doctor and ask for an ultrasound.

>>35197806

I buy a chicken & mushroom ginsters pasty on the daily.

New Nightscape video just uploaded lads! Fucking sick!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3BkBUgtSYc

>>35198097
is that what vice city looks like on a phone/tablet?

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Your world is rocked to it's core

>>35198188
If you notice anything unusual you should always go and see a doctor.

99% of the time it's nothing, but it's always worth getting checked.

>>35198491
what the actual fuck. my world has look been shook. i feel like my entire life is a lie. i always foot it was a foot, and monster munch are my favorite crisps.

thanks for sharing.

>>35198491
That is shocking. What's the best flavour, do you think?

Only joking, it's obviously pickled onion.

>>35198118

It was pretty warm for a good week and a half, now it's proper winter weather again.

Shit desu

>>35198542
There are flavours besides Pickled Onion?

>>35198491

i always thought it was some kind of monster ring, never really liked the taste of them anyway though, hula hoops were the dogs bollocks

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>>35197929
Beyond your comprehension

had a rate tasty pasta tonight lads, getting a bit mint at cooking italian food if im being completely honest

i reckon it must be the 1/4 italian that iv got in me somewhere

>>35198491
How could you not know this? They show the monster on the packet.

>>35198491
I called up walkers about this and they said it was meant to be a monsters foot

>>35198486

im not sure des, just saved that picture from a maps tread on /v/ a while ago, thought it looked pretty cosey

>>35197929

I wish I could travel back in time and punch my 17-year-old self in the dick for buying into "le moon landing was le faked" meme

What does it mean when you get a second interview that will be more informal than the first?

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>>35198587
You mean the Jizz Monster?

>>35198597
well it's vice city but it doesn't look like that on console or PC. Vice City is pretty comfy and it's one my all time Favourite games

>>35198612
They probably have narrowed down you and some other person and want to get to know 'you' as a person and not some corporational shill like in a normal interview

>>35198612

You can wear shorts

>>35197929

creep and im working my way down to degenerate pretty fast it would seem, no fucks given

>>35198612
First interview hit all the requirements - they can submit you to their manager and be safe that you will be hired.

However they now want to meet their shortlist who met this criteria, to see who they'll get on best with. You dont want to hire some autist wo posts on chinese cartoon forums and won't join in the office banter, after all.

Just bust a nut to tranny porn the first time. It's all downhill from here lads.

>>35197929
Never really been down with the conspiracy theory meme. Seems like fun though.

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>>35198612
the true test of how badly you want the job

I just don't get pancakes, lads. Theyre always a disappointment.

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>>35198670
uphill you mean

>>35198542
>>35198559
>knowing full well that flamin' hot are the best and still pushing pickled onion as some sort of joke.

You guys are funny.

>>35198670
It's alright m8, when you're halfway to the bottom of that hole you have some of the best orgasms of your life, until tranny porn becomes vanilla.

>>35198097
The fire emblem mobile game. It's pretty annoying having to wait for stamina but when you have like 5 minutes it's pretty fun.
Only problem is that you don't get to go against actual players and the AI is stupidly predictable.

Or just download a gameboy emulator and play actually good games.

>>35198670
>>35198753

whats happened to vaginas in the last few years to make them so unappealing? No one seemed to like traps 5 or 6 years ago, or i dont remember them doing at least. Genuine question from a straight guy (a real straight guy who doesnt like dicks on "girls")

>>35198097

Hearthstone is pretty good.

>>35197929
normal fag atm.

used to be at creep level but stopped believing in most of it because their was no irrefutable truth, most of it seemed made up because people didnt understand politics, and the truther community was retarded. was interesting though, especially the reptilian stuff.

might read some conspiracy theory books over the summer. still need to read beyond a pale horse. tried reading a david icke book last summer because i had a lot of free time, i got about 100 pages in and decided i couldn't read anymore because he was talking too much shit.

>>35198601

they left a mirror on the moon so they could bounce a laser of it and check the distance, I don't think any right thinking person still believes they faked it.

>>35198849
>lies make baby jesus cry

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YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS COMING

A THOUSAND EYES
TEN MILLION CLAWS
THE ROAR OF FEAR

IT HAS ARISEN

THE ANCIENT EVIL THAT HAS LAID DORMANT FOR MILLENIA

THEY TRIED TO KILL IT

ALL THEY COULD DO WAS DELAY THE END

IT WILL SEND US BACK TO THE STONE AGE

WE ARE ALL IN DANGER
NO ONE WILL ESCAPE

WE ARE ALL DOOMED

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>>35198822
A sick degenerate culture.

>>35197929
I only got as far as creep before I began to go back to normality.

How many pancakes did you have lads? I had 3.
But even those made me full
Maybe because the fish n chips I had before them

Nice

>>35198885

EPA! EPA!

>>35198753

That's a VERY puffy vulva.

blox

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>>35198822
People watch too much porn and it causes fetishes. Plus all the propaganda the last five years has been trying to force trans acceptance down everyone's throats along with the "sexual appeal" of trannies.

>>35198822
>No one seemed to like traps 5 or 6 years ago
bailey jay was virtually a celebrity on /b/ back around 2006 when s/he was known as linetrap

>>35198865

Well they say they left a mirror, but have you actually ever shone a laser at it yourself and seen the reflection?

Just how big is this mirror that they can hit it accurately with a laser fired from earth, through the atmosphere and all its turbulent air currents, a quarter of a million miles away?

>>35198822
its only really popular on 4chan (i think). on normal porn sites, it very rarely makes it to the first page.

people probably get into it because they got bored of fapping to vanilla porn all the time

>>35198862
Nothing wrong with reading about them you just don't have to believe them.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-39119990

>i-it's not theft to keep it if someone loses it

HAHAHA BTFO

Haven't seen east devon fag in a while. I hope he's kill

whats the most degenerate thing you've fapped to lads?

i took a pair of my mates mums period stained knickers out the dirty washing to sniff, ended up with a stonker so whipped my todger out wrapped her knickers round me cock and noshed it

>>35198996

hes started wageslaving m8, either yesterday or monday last week, not sure

>>35198957
i suppose but i personally feel like i should be reading something else, especially if im not enjoying it. i dont have any against someone if they do enjoy reading conspiracy books.

probably will never get into it. most of the people i know that are really into it, and fully believe it, have ended up ruining their life.

>>35198988
>comments on the daily mail defending her

i wish wish wish she had been non white, it would have been hilarious to see the comments

>>35198988
>having a pussy lets you get a way with anything
btfo roasties

>>35198822

You don't get how memes work do you?

Traps became a meme, and gullible retards from 4chan took it hook, line and sinker. "These people on 4chan are saying I should take the other sex's hormones, that'll certainly make my life better" then you have waves of suicides.

There really needs to be a warning attached to 4chan, it can be enoyed if you browse responsibly, but don't believe anything a 4channer tells you.

>usually bite hand when I orgasm
>bite so hard this time I punctured my skin
>hasn't stopped bleeding for over an hour

Shit lads, if I have to go to the hospital how do I explain this, I have a giant bite mark in my hand

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OH THE HUMANITY

THIS IS TERRIBLE!

>>35199108
>I was scratching my hand with my jaw and got cramp

>>35199108
just say it was your dog
then if they ask why it looks like human teeth say your dog has autism

>>35199108

Tell them you were bitten by a homeless man

>>35199108
Bite your hand? Why not just let pleasure consume you? Let go it feels great.

>tfw it seems intellectual's dedicate their lives to moving the whole of humanity forward together but they got distracted by the twitter debate and got dragged down to their opponents level, science is suffering which means the world is suffering and the cause is the SJW's.

>>35198885

one galactic year is 250,000,000 earth years, if you require the truth you must zoom out a bit

>>35198595
Thank God for autists like you

>>35198988
have you seriously never picked up money you've found on the floor? I have lots of times.

>>35198822
I started with lesbian strapon, I got turned on by imagining myself as the girl getting fucked.
Then futa on girl
Then futa on male
Now I can fap to shemale and trap

Ever since I was young I've been into dominant females though. I guess since the highest form of dominance is to fuck someone it just naturally turns me on.

>>35199200
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ZOOM OUT?

>>35198948

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmVxSFnjYCA

>>35199099

i dont believe you

riggyroo

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Rate my looks out of 10.

Be honest lads.

>>35199323
cold dead eyes/10

>>35197929
Irredeemable

North Korea IS a utopia you fucking slaves

>>35199323

we had a cabinet exactly the same as that when i was a kid, come to think of it, i dont remember us getting rid of it or anything, but it definitely isnt still in the house

>>35199345
a utopia for one man

>>35199323
7/10

i suggest getting rid of the chest hair and growing your hair.

>tfw irredeemable
north korean Utopia, bacterial humanity, simulated earth, robot rights, atlantis, dolphin sentience, hollow earth plus some others farther up are things i legitimately believe in

>>35199368
>north korean Utopia
Having been there, I wouldn't say it's a utopia but it definitely isn't as bad as the media makes it out to be. People look genuinely happy and spend days at the beach or at waterparks. Granted they're all probably off their face on meth and marijuana though

>>35199368
>north korean Utopia

lmao

>>35199367
Yeah i thought about growing my hair.

Only gays shave their chests.

I trim mine.

>>35199009
>ended up with a stonker so whipped my todger out wrapped her knickers round me cock and noshed it
Speak english you northern nigger

>>35199368
more or less all of that isnt that weird apart from north korean utopia

>>35199367
>getting rid of chesthair
Fuck man who /hairy/ here. Shit sucks if you don't have the manly face to match.
I look like a fucking gorilla toddler.

Some prick jumped in front of a train and Kings cross came to a standstill for 2 fucking hours.

I've been freezing my cock off on the platform and when the train finally arrives I have to sit next to some smelly old lady. Fuck my life.

>>35199323
Pretty cute, shame about the balding

>>35199367
>i suggest getting rid of the chest hair
you mad man

>>35199403
>waterparks

the ones that are advertised as huge but in reality its just 2 slides? yeh mate i bet thats ultimate happiness after you've spent the past 6 days slaving for 16 hours per day

>>35199430
>>35199433
>>35199408

no offense intended but he doesent suit the chest hair because he has a bit of a feminine face. i have a bit of a feminine face too so i dont suit it. maybe you would suit it if you grew a beard too

>>35199430
Just trim it. Only bodybuilders or fags shave it.

>>35199403
>>35199405
>>35199416
retards. They are hiding the actual country from outside Influence, so that the technologies and policies that made it keep secret. What we think of as north Korea is merely a cover

>>35199403
>Having been there

You mean the massively stage managed tour where you aren't allowed to explore on your own at all?

>>35199403
my mate went twice, he said after one of trips that he only saw piece of fruit but the fags where cheap as fuck. make of that what you will

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>>35199454
>2 slides

What

>>35199431

>some prick

you mean todays bravest robot. Also fuck being a tube drive

>>35197929
What is Despair Code?

Just imagine being the first human being of all time to step on the moon

>>35199487
The number of slides isn't the issue mate.

It's only for the elite 0.1% of the population while the rest starve, is the thing.

>>35198097
the phoenix wright ports are pretty great, and i had fun with the IOS port of shin megami tensei.

>>35199466
maybe but they also hid the ussr from outside influence and that was a shit whole

>>35199530
Not worth risking your life for, in my opinion. Prefer to leave that to someone else.

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>>35199511
It's apparently a string of numbers in a unique sequence. If you read it or it is read out loud, your brain shuts down and you enter a vegetative state of overwhelming feelings of despair.

>>35199433
I'm not balding thats just my hairline and when its shaved it makes it look like that.

When I have my hair longer it looks normal.

>>35199560
>enter a vegetative state

Sounds good to me! What is it?

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The western media is lying to you about the state of North Korea. It's also South Korean propaganda.

>>35199577
it's a mental state where your brain shuts down

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>>35199577
Well no one knows it. It's a theoretical because our brains are just like computers so technically you can enter code and rewrite shit. MK Ultra tier stuff.

>>35199549
If all of us were like that we would have got anywhere close to where we are now, if I was given the chance to go to the moon I would take it

>>35199594
>Guy wearing a full khaki boilersuit and a pair of big boots to the beach

Yep looks normal to me, comrade.

>>35199598
Don't know if this is a cracking piece of banter, or you reading his question wrong. Either way I got a hearty chuckle out of this post

>>35199615
i'd consider going to the moon with current technology but definitely not 1960s technology.

>>35199547
Yea but they were communists.
Wonder why north koreas economy is terrible? Most of its gdp goes towards the actual north korea

>>35199251

Well obviously they're in on it

If you can engineer a conspiracy where tens of thousands of scientists and NASA staff are in on it, what's a handful more people making a TV program to perpetuate it?

>>35198865
>implying mirrors are real

>>35199323
>>35199359
we had same cabinet also.
cabinet bros.

>>35199708
count me in lads, got rid of it last year

>>35199657
>Wonder why north koreas economy is terrible

and it could be because they dont trade with other countries. maybe im wrong but im definitely not going to believe that north korea is utopia purely based on speculation.

>>35199561
Yeah grow it out and you will be would cuddle/10

>>35199654
The people of that era thought of those rockets as we think of ours now.

>>35199741
Wonder why they see kim il sung as a literal god?
Because he practically was one, with technology hundreds of years ahead of everyone else.

>>35199657
>but they were communists
juche is a form of a self sufficient communism designed to keep NK out of china and russia's spheres of influence
ironic being as they need the chinese and russians to in the war and still require chinas support

>>35199773
>Wonder why they see kim il sung as a literal god?

lol because of propaganda, and no diversity. they are probably genuinely happy but i dont know about it being a utopia.

>>35199782
They only adapted juche to stay out of the world stage. They deliberately handicapped themselves so that the true north korea would go unnoticed

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>>35197581
Did you know there are people, in your very country right now, who actually don't like pancakes?

Freaks.

>>35198753
I know a girl who looks like that. Now I'm worried.

lads im in the psychward and they lock the door to the garden at midnight and the windows in my room have a mesh on it, so will I be able to smoke in my room if I blow the smoke through the mesh?

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Good evening, /britfeel/!
How've all your days been?
How are you feeling?
What did you have on your pancakes?
is having tuna on a pancake weird?

Hope you've all had a great day filled with lovely pancakes and whatever you got up to made you happy!

>>35198612
Noice, good job getting that second interview. Second interviews are always the easiest, and I imagine you'll be even more relaxed since it's informal.

Just go in there and be the normiest normie you can be

>>35199853
waffles are better senpai

>>35199920

>tfw nobody to cook pancakes for me

>>35199902
How did they even let you in with a pack of smokes? What a shit hospital

>>35199920
Alright, Lenlad

>How've all your days been?
Mine's been alright. I did almost nothing

>How are you feeling?
Tired and unhappy

>What did you have on your pancakes?
I didn't have any

>is having tuna on a pancake weird?
Yes

I still haven't worked out what to give up for lent

>>35199920
>How've all your days been?
Can't complain. Was NEET since September, but I started working again last week. Excited for that first paycheck, haven't bought myself something nice in months
>How are you feeling?
Bit tired. I've been trying to adjust my sleep schedule to nights, since that's what I'm working
>What did you have on your pancakes?
I had french toast today tyvm

>>35199920
>How've all your days been?
saw an old friend thats going bald. It was a good day.

>>35199973
My mum brought them for me, literally everyone in here smokes. The staff don't care because they know tobacco helps, they don't care if they find your cigs, but they take your lighters away.

>>35199807
this

they might be happy, but thats only because they dont know any better/different than the shit they have to put up with their whole lives.

why do you think they go to such extents to hide any outside contact? they have their own internet for fucks sake, they know that their people will see what life is like outside of their ''''utopia'''' and start to question what the fuck kind of society they live in.. just look at the olympic athletes that try and run off and hide there's fucking loads of cases

>>35200032
Describe his baldness

>>35200037
>mentally ill being allowed to do anything

shit hospital

Haven't had a cry like this in years lads. Feels good.

>>35199920
More importantly, how are you? Gambleanon here.

>>35200094
>browses /r9k/
>isnt mentally ill
Fucking pot calling the kettle black

>>35200114
Why on earth are you crying?

>>35200151
I'll fucking KILL you. Now give us a kiss

Does anyone find it weird we look down on societies like the DPRK, yet we can just be as easily lied to by the government

>>35200114
it's good for the soul lad, let it out
>mfw,i've had a couple of em already this year

>>35200153
There was an emotional scene in Vikings. Just broke down. One of them cries where its just the eyes, no sobbing at all.

>>35200166
yeh but at least we have enough freedom to limit the intensity and effects of propaganda/brainwashing

>>35200166
I don't think anyone looks down on North Korea for this, considering how rigged education and information is there

I think we easily find out when out government does something dodgy anyway, like with those awful schemes forcing disabled people to work

Also
>DPRK

Just say North Korea fag

>>35199970
iktf
I had Waffles ala sneklad instead though. Very sugary but very tasty.

>>35199975
Alright, buddy!
Sorry about you feeling down :( I hope you feel better soon.

Is there anything you need to cut down for for Lent? Maybe you could try doing something new instead!

>>35200019
Oh that's awesome to hear, anon! What kinda job do you have?
Used to do night shifts myself at my old job, was kind of comfy at times.

Haven't had french toast in a v long time, hop you enjoyed it buddy!

>>35200032
poor friendo :(

>>35200146
Gambleanon!!!!! aaaaaa
I wondered where you went off to, asked around for you a few times ;_;
How've you been bud?!

>>35200146

I'm one of the other gamble anons, profit/loss for the year stands at 8 up, was 50 down then had a very nice 60 bong win at the bookies, spent 2 on a lottery ticket.

>>35200151

I browse /r9k/ and I'm not mentally ill

>>35200226
Lent is a period of fasting. I'm curious in doing the tradition of only a single meal a day but I don't think I have the faith to do so.

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>>35200226
Take it down a notch lad, you're much too exciteable

>>35200345
Something tell me he's still on a murder high

just hurt my bum cause a nail was half cut and sharp when I stuck it up. not sure on the damage yet but its hurting and I can't stick it up anymore

>>35200416
why you putting fingers up ur arse lad?

>>35200416
>when I stuck it up
Why?

>>35200416
Stop fingering your bum lad

>>35200430
>>35200432
>>35200438
get a load of these fags

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Is it bad that the only thing I have in mind for my 21st birthday is going to pizza hut with my family?

>>35200430
>>35200432
>>35200438
I had just been to the toilet, I make sure its all clean by having a feel around, how else do you know you don't have a rogue turd halfway down?

>>35200226
I've been lurking but never catch you just as you post. Today is the month I've saved back my all my losses, so I wanted to make sure I caught you today. All thanks to you and your tailored OC for convincing me not to do the big gamble. Nice to know you were posting for me.

>>35200236
Are you the one that likes his roulette? Nice win, what was the bet? My profit/loss for the year stands at approximately minus 1020 gbp, although technically the bulk of that was late december.

>>35200460
Nah, that sounds fun. Pizza Hut isn't nearly as trashy as it used to be, and they serve beer now.

>>35200460
I went the pub with my family for my 18th. I didn't even want to do that.

>>35200460
nah, I'mma kill myself in Tesco for my 21st

>>35200094

18 months behind swaglord

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mummy finally got back to make pancakes lads

quite impressive this year

>>35200570
nigga that is a crepe at best

>>35200532
how you gonna do it lad? self-immolation would be cool, do it in the birthday cards isle

>>35200482

I am roulette anon, but this was in the bookies just on a greyhound, 5/1, I probably wont go to the casino until April.

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Like my new gun lads?

HK45. Shoots like a charm.

>>35200583
thicker than it looks 2bh

>>35200570
Looks suspiciously like an American pancake there buddy.

>>35200601
How many BBs can it hold?

>>35200601
safety's on

>>35200587
I was just gonna slit my throat. Unless I can somehow get my hands on a gun. Though I doubt I'll be able to do that

>>35200635
Do it in my Tesco please I could use the time off.

>>35200587
>self-immolation would be cool, do it in the birthday cards isle
What a fucking sight that would be

>>35200460
Went to a Mexican restaurant with mines for my 21st hahahaahahaha

Honestly wish I was joking

>>35200601
>About to shitpost about muh fuddy five
>Realise this is Britfeel
I'll see myself out.

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theres a shop in town that sells guns and knives and shit.
don't know how they can get away with it, I thought all replicas were illegal

>>35200709
>bradford

probably need it living there lad

>>35200709
for a replica you need a either a collectors license or a reenactors license

>>35200725
but its mainly the pakis that buy em.
saw one paki go in, "I want that metal baseball bat and some stab proof body armour."

nothing suspicious going on there

>>35200460
Mine was a sleepover with friends, mum did a full birthday spread too.

These days it's just dinner with the family or drinks with the lads.

>>35200709
Pretty sure curved blades are illegal though, especially that fucking klingon bat'leth looking thing in the window.

>>35200769
you see that thing with the spikes on above it?!

>>35200709
Is that a fucking spiked mace lmao

>>35200268
Ooh I see, well if you decide let us know! I'm interested in what you'll pick.

>>35200482
Oh bud that's bloody amazing to hear, I'm so happy for you. Absolutely nothing to do with me though, you did this all on your own!
Honestly that's really amazing, very good work bud and I'm sure you'll keep it up!

I've been playing Hitman for about an hour, pretty enjoyable so far. Are there time limits, or am I fine taking my sweet ass time?

>>35200842
You're fine taking your sweet arse time but you lose points at the end, so you won't do well on the leaderboards. But who gives a shit about that.

Feel a bit iffy lads. General sense of dread.

>>35200911
Okay good. I'm just trying to get a feel for the map right now, not even going for any challenges really? Hows the replayability?

>>35200842
Uninstall it and play Hitman 2 and Blood Money

>>35200955
I don't know. I've just been watching some one play it

>>35200709
there's a gun shop near me too. it doesn't sell replicas though, they're real.

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Jesus Christ lads, I'm fucking spooked.

>sitting in dark minding my own business on my laptop
>mirror to the side of me slightly lit up
>in corner of my eye my reflection looks at me
>quickly look over
>everything is normal

I need to get more sleep

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>>35201049
Wow, opinion fucking discarded

>>35201126
Careful, could be the Peripheral-View Rapist

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>>35201130
I never gave an opinion

What are some good Kik groups for me to lurk and get good slag pics? I've joined a few UK ones through using obvious key words, avoided dodgy looking stuff and it looks like everyone else had the same idea as me - lurkers or idle chat with no pics

>>35201177
do NOT reply to me again

>>35200828
At the time I was ready to blow the rest of my money and invite britfeel to watch. You stopped me from that, wasn't all me!

About your 'don't put it all in bitcoin' advice however...

Just joking, the price could have gone either way and it was better I didn't take that risk

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>>35201228
Why? Is it because you lack the ability to read?

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>>35201265
STOP IT STOP RIGHT NOW

feel bad for all you city cucks who will never ever ever have a shooting license, fucking hell imagine not being able to legally own a firearm

pathetic

Good night lads, it's fucking good having a respectable sleeping pattern for once

>>35200709
>>35200826
>>35200738

"Hello Sir! May I purchase your finest spiked mace please?!

"Urm, of course, may I ask what you intend to use it for?"

"Oh, just re-enactment of course! I'm going to re-enact some scenes leading up to the draft of the Magna Cartha Here's my license"

>5 minutes later at the "re-enactment of the battle of Normandy" at his house, bludgeoning his wife's skull to pulp.

>>35201299
What's the point in legally owning a gun if there's no non-whites around?

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It's finally happened lads, I met a sane, rational human being willing to rent me a room at a reasonable price. It was funny too because I saw a pajeet, a black bible basher and a polish woman.

>The pajeet changed plans last second and refused to haggle on price, despite his asking price being more than what he first offered and was all around rude and kike-ish
>The black bible basher lied about living alone, she had 3 kids judging from the shoes in the hall and posted photos of a completely different room in the ad from the one she showed me
>The polish woman was polite, welcoming, didn't ask many personal questions and charged a very small deposit and knocked the rent from 300 to 250 for letting her use the room as a study when I was out of the house when everyone else I saw was asking 350 rent + 350 deposit

Lesson learned, poles are the only decent immigrants

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can anyone tell me what this orginally means?

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>>35201289
No. I'll keep going.

>anon who said he caught a pedo on the board didn't post the details

Fucking knew he was lying

>>35201205
why not just go on motherless or something? they have loads of amateur pics of slags.

live pics from girls you are talking to are the best but if you're getting them from another person then its second hand and basically porn

>>35201327
It means your degenerate propaganda is working.

>>35201324
killing innocent animals.
I mean would you eat skitskins?

>>35201325
The key question is, is she a qt?

>>35201325
>250 rent

What the fuck are you renting, lad? A shed in bumfuck nowhere?

Legit question. I casually looked at some shit holes in deprived areas of Newcastle that are 350 at least

>>35201345
oh yeah, forgot about that. shame about it being fake. would of been interesting to see the drama.

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>>35201327
maybe this is the key?

>>35201325

>250 a month

I sure feel great about the 950/month place I'm about to move in to.

Are you up north?

>>35201373
>tfw in those deprived areas of Newcastle

But you can get cheaper than 350 if you haggle tbqh

>>35201327

It means that lad needs to practice his arse shaving skills. Looks like he wandered backwards through a pheasant shoot.

>>35201369
She's middle aged but still in good shape, very soft spoken.

>>35201373
A room in a tiny town in Cambridgeshire, I was stunned she offered it for such a low price. Everyone else wanted at least 350.

>>35201450
>She's middle aged but still in good shape, very soft spoken.
Fuck her, lad

>>35201373
>Newcastle

Newcastle city centre is really nice tbf.

I end up staying at Hotel Indigo quite a lot for business and the area around there is gorgeous.

>>35201429
>c-can you do it cheaper
>No.
>o-okay

Haggling is for pakis, normies and men at car boot sales.

>>35201450
>renting a room

Not sure I could handle that. Would be nice being able to sneak a sniff of her knickers etc but overall that just seems like a freedom killer and there's the awkwardness of having others around.

>>35201427
Around Peterborough/Cambridge area. One of the tiny towns, fuck paying 500 for a room in Cambridge.

>>35201373
im thinking about moving to newcastle tbqh, best night life in the UK and in the summer ur close as fuck to loads of nice beaches

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>>>/i/495525
Dad and Uncle is back, lads.

>>35201488
I'm doing it to be closer to my only friend and it's getting me away from my family, they're all cunts and I'll be happy if I never see any of them again.

>>35201477
99% of the city centre is a shit hole.
>go to fancy japanese restaurant
>walk outside
>offered cocaine by 3 chavs

>>35201499
>best night life in the UK
This is true
>loads of nice beaches
This is not

Evening lads. I miss much in the last 8 hours?

>>35201456
Well I didn't ask but she said she's got a house across the street too and she's "between two homes" at the moment so maybe that's code for divorce or maybe they're just slowly renovating one while trying to sell the other?

No husband around that I saw, she has 2 cats though. Either way I'm a homo.

>>35201325
>rinkah
Awful unit, would bench again

Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Renting Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Landlord Like Nigga Buy A House Haha

>>35201564
>Either way I'm a homo.
Boo. You're a massive disappointment to me.

>OI MISTER OI
>OIM PREGNANT AND OIVE JUST BEEN MADE 'OMELESS
>"Sorry, I haven't g-"
>She turns around and walks off

Glad I never give these cunts anything

>>35200460
Sounds like you'll have a better time than I did on my 21st

I did fuck all

>>35200601
Theresa May is going to go fucking ape when she reads this.

DELET ASAP

>>35201555
mate you can get to fucking loads of nice beaches in like 20-30 mins on a train

>>35201650
I live here lad, literally 10 minutes from the beach, the beaches are fucking shit.

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>tfw you'll never be a great man like Julianus Vatinius

>>35201700
Not so great now is he?

>>35201751
He will always be a great man. He took on the Egyptian hordes and brought a new age of prosperity to Rome

>>35201700
None of that matters when you're dead.

>>35201664
I reckon I should elaborate instead of just saying they're shit

>homeless fuckers constantly harassing you
>police patrols checking if you're drinking, make you dump it if they find ouit
>chavs drinking frosty jacks and blasting shitty music excessively loud
>glass pretty much everywhere
>try to relax with some mates, some chav cunt comes over 'oi this is our spot yous have to move', we literally sat there for hours and these cunts think we'll actually move.
>very little of actual beach, only worth it if the tide is out which is usually just a few hours of the day

Longsands is probably the only decent beach but it suffers all of these problems. The beaches here are small as fuck and covered in so much litter you probably contract multiple diseases just from a single day there

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>>35200749
Tfw you live in Bradford and look like a paki and have them all hate you and threaten to smash your face in cos you ain't a muzzie.

>>35201571
I just like her design, dem abs.

>>35201593
Sorry for ruining your polish mature fantasies

>>35201828
Kek I forgot to mention the time me and my mates were having a barbeque on the beach and this old couple came up to us ranting how the smoke from our tiny barbeque was disturbing their dogs. They threatened to call the police because apparently we were disturbing the peace. Living up north is pretty shit.

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>>35201855
I have fantasies for all Polish Women

>>35201837
>have them all hate you and threaten to smash your face in cos you ain't a muzzie.

really? elaborate please, lad. i am interested to hear more because Muslims love to go on about how they are peaceful

>>35201837
>looks like a paki
>isn't a paki

what are you

>>35199323
GROW A BEARD MATE

>>35201521
I'm in a similar situation but I don't like the idea of sharing a house with someone. Would work temporarily but I need a grotty little flat to call my own.

>>35201664
>>35201828
Bit harsh.

You don't like Tynemouth?

>>35201828
bloody ell and i thought liverpool was bad. the chavs here normally leave me and my mates a lone.

>>35201828
what about on the coast towards like berwyck or whatever the fuck its called, aint there some nice sands up there?

>>35201956
Longsands is Tynemouth lad, it's alright. By far the best beach here but still pretty eh as far as beaches go.
>>35201977
No idea where that is lad

>>35201934
Nah half my family is muzzie and they ain't fucking peaceful.
>>35201935
Mixed race senpai. Got some African, Scottish, irish and Middle Eastern in me. But for some reason of all the things I look like a typical muzzie with nigger lips.

>>35200450
This.

I thought he meant an actual nail. You've got to be pretty gay if your first thought was a fingernail.

>>35201996
Ew, don't talk to me

>>35201986
berwick upon tweed i think its called, usually get the train there when im working in scotland

some proper nice coastal roads and beaches on that stretch from newcastle past alnwick and shit

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31 year old virgin back again..

Got to update you on the French girl situation lads.. We went to the pub like she wanted, had a good time (beat her 3 /3 games at pool), she listened to live music which she (genuinely) LOVED.. Got on well, conversation very good very flirty. End of the night go in for a bit more.. she tells me no, she's not here for relationships and 'wants to be friends'.

Well lads I did try but same situation as always. Why bother. Told her I'm 31 and don't want to be 'friends', I'm looking fro more. I said I'd still say hi and bye to her, told her I appreciated her honesty (I do) but that is that to be honest.

If you still not made it by 29, kill yourself.

Off to smoke my fucking joint. Fuck it all to be honest.

>>35201996
Oh I see, well get off my board you filthy camelhumper

Itchy eczema nipples are the fucking worst, lads.

>>35202044
>lol take me to the pub anon xdddd
>EWWWW CREEP WE'RE JUST FRIENDS

Roasties are insane

>>35201996
>Mixed race senpai.
Same. You get to feel disconnected from multiple races instead of connected to one. Race mixing is a mistake.

>>35202094
I seriously doubt he is telling the whole story. Probably a greasy cunt with a patchy beard and beergut

>>35202044
You tried lad, and at least you got it over with quickly.

>>35202099
Can't even disagree with you there kek

>>35202043
Ah it's about 60 miles from me, never been. I only know Alnwick because some old woman with I'm guessing dementia or something similar told me every day at work, without fail, that she was there in the morning. Sort of a creepy vibe from it because I doubt she did a 60-80 mile drive in total every single day, even when I started my shift at 7-8am and she said it it'd mean she was in the beach in the dark before the sun came up. Weird shit

You can achieve anything you set your mind to.

>>35202116
would she have even been seen i public with a guy like that. I dunno man

>>35202160
>transcends time and space
o shit it works

>>35202160
What if I want to grow wings and a second dick?

>>35202146
fuck me mate thats nightmare fuel, dont think ill ever enjoy those comfy coastal roads the same ever again

>>35202116
>Probably a greasy cunt with a patchy beard and beergut

bit judgemental lad. girls have said the same things to me, and i often get told i am good looking. im not a virgin tbf but girls still mess me about.

>>35202233
Kek lad if you ever see her let me know. She had a blonde scraggy hair with white roots. Maybe with dogs but I have no fucking idea, she said she'd always been walking her dogs but I only ever saw her buy cat food

m8s do you think it's a mistake to live in the middle of nowhere rather than the centre of a town or village

>>35202044
Could always give up anon. The first step to enlightenment is acceptance.

>>35202300
Town centres are usually filled with loud twats or chavs ruining your peace so no.

>>35202336
what do you consider a chav? i feel like chavs are different from city to city

>>35202300
no 2 if you can drive

>>35202356
It varies as you said, but here in Bradford it's pretty much the general stereotype and most of them come from places not far from the town centre.

It triggers me how they all speak though. "Charva" this, "mush" that.

>>35199323
probably get a solid babe if not autistic, i'd say 6 according to the rating scale of gavin mcinnes(lived near me when he was a kid)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr1caAuCEnM

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>>35202044
Don't give up hope lad, you always have your romanian qt's to fall back on

listening to duran duran in bed feeling /comfy/

think this is the first night in a while iv not been contemplating suicide.. am i gonna make it?

>>35202656
one day at a time lad, one day at a time

>>35202424
>It triggers me how they all speak though. "Charva" this, "mush" that.

weird. the chavs in liverpool seem quite different. most of the chavs here stop being dick heads by the time they are about 20, normally because they have had a kid or been to jail and dont want to go

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>>35202696
thats the plan mate

>>35202826
you're gonna make it lad. stay strong.

how does one activate an almond and what is the benefit of activated almonds over non activated?

>>35202887
You leave them in water for 12 hours then allow them to dry for 24. The benefits are that the toxins are drained into the water, which would otherwise prevent your body from fully absorbing all the nutrition in the almond.

It's complete meme science on the same level as homeopathy.

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>>35202887
STAND BY FOR ACTIVATION

>>35197623
probably shouldn't be offering schoolkids a lift home in the rain in return for a blowjob you nonce

>>35201595

i was asked for "40p for the bus" at 2am on a nightwalk a few weeks back, there are no night buses around here, she wasnt anywhere near the bus station or even a bus route, and im pretty sure it costs more than 40p, made me giggle to myself

I listened to this story a while back, its about camping. but the descriptions really made me envision being there.

there should be camping stories, with sound fx, rain wind, crackling fire. it would be very comfy.

the story if anyone cares.
best listened to in the dark in bed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIkpz6JmdFM&list=PLpCh5fYI6EcG3dpwSP_N28pzxQ4fTmYDA&index=90

>>35201595
>Pick a hand. One hand is full of lovely pound sterling. Let's say three hundred quid. The other hand though? That's empty. Uh oh!
>If you pick the hand with the money, then hopefully that will make things easier for a little while
>Pick the empty hand though, and I will be solving the first problem for you

>>35203138
>trying to do me a frighten
No thanks mate

Watched the Brit awards last week, and ever since I've got a bit of a thing for getting bummed by stormzy while ed sheeran watches.

>>35203138

ive been doing this for ages now, i like listening to so called "true" horror stories and creepy pasta

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This was posted before but Mummy kay is going to be on Harry Hill lads... this is next level lads.

https://youtu.be/y_phcyLra7s?t=772

i hope she can handle the fame now.

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Who here /index funds/

Show me your portfolio value

>>35203203
>Harry Hill
That's still going?

>>35203183
>stormzy

one of the most over rated artists of today. most of his fans are middle class dickheads trying to look like gangster with out realizing that stormzy is basically a pop artist

>>35203214
I have about 50k of student loans debt if that counts.
>>35203239
a new show apparently.

>>35203203
>leaving cutlery on the side
>not putting hob on
>constant heavy breathing
>cooking with lard
>incoherent babbling

I've never actually watched her videos. It's brilliant.

>>35203084
its what smackheads do lad, they ask for tiny bits of change like 20-40p for bus fares then when they get to 2 quid they can buy a point of heroin which will get them high for a few hours

t. ex smackhead

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>>35203214
Just started. Slow and steady now

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I jerked off and I'm still not tired.

>>35203252
>gets rich
>sends his mum to live in ghana

what a twat

>>35203252
I want him to put his virile ladypleaser in to my trembling white boipucci, not fucking sing me a song.

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>>35203281
Let us see your monthly savings lad

>>35203252

He seems alright. Irritatingly ubiquitous though.

>>35203309

...

Also I his knob doesn't do the singing.

>>35203276
>High for three hours on two quid
>I've been paying 20 quid after mixers for six hours worth of vodka
I feel like a proper mug now

>>35203267
She is such a meme and we love her for it, everything she makes is bad- yet not offensively so, just comically.

>>35203294
Maybe you can jerk me off, that might help?

>>35203276

just made me think of another one i saw on a /nighwalk/ i was sat on a bench just off a pretty quiet street in town, smoking a cig minding my own business, when i saw a very robot looking anon walking down the street, then a junkie looking woman coming from around a corner and towards him, neither of them had seen me, the conversation went like this..

>crackwhore: excuse me love will you lend me a ciggy?
>robot: um no...i dont smoke sorry
robot attempts to pass crackwhore but crackwhore sidesteps in his way
>crackwhore: oh....well then, have you got 50p you can lend me for the phone??
>robot: why...what you gonna do? phone someone who smokes and ask them to lend you a cig?

robot walked off triumphantly

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time to try sleep... gonna try leave the house for the first time in a while tommorow morning. Doubt i'll be able to sleep after sleeping over 14hours for the last few days. Oh well

>>35199251
Can blast non man rocket to moon and balloon them {reflectors} over moon, so stfu up fake news.

>>35203348
>He seems alright. Irritatingly ubiquitous though.

yeah, he seems like a nice lad, but he is a pleb. he listens to chart music. he music is decent, just not as good as his fans make out. his fans piss me off more than anything.

>>35203342
Literally just been putting it in vanguard lifestrategy 80 the past few months. Not really sure what I'm doing beyond that.

>>35203352
stick to the vodka lad

>>35199323
You look like the guy from twilight. Probably even more so of you grew your hair.

>>35203413
because his fans are pop normies, its not 2014 anymore.

>>35203348
>his knob doesn't do the singing
Be pretty sweet if it did though. Imagine how famous you'd be if your stiffy could sing.

Mine can't even fucking whistle.

>>35203267
this made me bust out with laughter. good one, lad.

>>35203276
i thought heroin was expensive? how are smackheads so poor if its only 2 quid for stuff that will last them a few hours?

>>35203435
It's not as though I have any kind of hook up for drugs as it is but yeah, I wouldn't go for it. I have enough problem with alcohol dependency, and once you get addicted to a first thing then that's it.

>>35203138
>the descriptions really made me envision being there.

Why does nobody use "envisage" any more?

I thought "envision" was an americanism but everyone over here seems to use it too, almost exclusively.

Shenmue is NOT unrionically a good game, accept it

>>35203380
that robot sounds like a legend

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>>35203499
NO.
NO NO NO
REEEEEEEEE
Shenmue 2 was at least

What are you giving up for Lent?

>>35203601
My life

Not really. Maybe I'll give up /britfeel/ I spend too much time here

>tutor tells me he's disappointed how little work I've produced and that I haven't shown him any planning
>shout "you liar! I've offered three times now!"
>he walks away and later I receive an email about "verbal aggression"

It's not my fault you have early onset dementia, you total dope.

Are fields with tall grass comfy at night? There's one about a mile away, I'm considering walking there and just lying in the grass and looking at the sky for a while.

>>35203620
>verbally assaulting an old man with dementia

A new low for /britfeel/.