Uncle anon, tell me a bedtime story

>>35028395
Yes go back to >>>/b/ and sleep.

>>35028395
Sure Sweety, When I was in my early teens I was obsessed with scratching my rectum. I eventually figured out that if I leave a thin layer of shit on my anus and let it dry over night I would be more itchy and I would have a fun surprise that I could peal off my butt hole in the morning. I cannot describe how wonderful the feeling of pulling off that thin simi transparent sheet was. After pulling it off I would smell it and then toss it under my sink.

After a week or so the smell was too much for me to handle. So I began to spray febreze down there every once in a while. This went on up until I started growing hair down there. I stopped for a while because I would end up pulling hair with my shit. In the mean time, I would toss my finger and toe nails along with my heel skin and occasionally, my sun burn skin (what a treat that was) under the sink.
I eventually began to miss the sensation of peeling, so I decided to shave around my anus. Shaving it made it more itchy! Sadly, for some reason my shit wouldn't come off in a single layer.

That's when I decided to take some Elmer's glue and lightly apply it around my rectum and let it dry. My god! The feeling was 10,000 times better than before! Not to mention that my anus was super smooth after peeling! The worst day of my life happened three years ago today. While I was out shopping my next door neighbors house caught fire and engulfed my house with it. My beautiful collection went up in smoke. After the ensuing trauma I sought professional help for my disorder (talking to that shrink was the most embarrassing part of my life). I was diagnosed with OCD and excoriation disorder.I still peel and pick at my body.

>>35028395
Once there lived an Anon.

He was a neet who didn't have a gf and killed himself one day.

The End.

File: tmp_21551-144995219951063636432.jpg (55KB, 362x387px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 362x387px

>>35028428
is that really true papap

>>35028428
loI what

>>35028395
In 9th grade year I took art and my art teacher was convinced that I was retarded. We were supposed to draw a big collage of things we liked for 2 weeks we did this. I was nervouse and couldn't think of anything so I slowly drew a tiny road with a pencil from one end to the other to make it look like I was drawing. Everyone thought I really liked roads. She would give me 60s and 70s for things I didn't do. I spent the year reading anime on my ipod touch. Sometimes I would draw a fish and turn it in to get a 80.

>>35028428

Thanks i guess.

Oregano

>>35028395
There once was a worthless sboobluble who didn't do anything. Everyone looked down on him but nobody could give enough of a shit to care about him.

>Louis C.K. walks on stage
>"Good evening ladies and gentlemen......you are in for quite the show tonight"
>*applause*
>"Before we go any further...let us turn off these lights, these damned inventions of the white devil. Let us return to out natural state,BLACKness"
>Lights are turned off, but bonfires are being lit on stage and in the audience.
>Meanwhile, Louis has stripped naked, and a huge cauldron is being brought on stage.
>All the blacks in the theatre start chanting "KEK KEK KEK" slowly growing louder.
>"In this cauldron is a sacred Nubian concoction made from the semen carefully extracted from vaginas of wives who have been bred by black bucks. It symbolizes the conquering of the white race.
>Louis lowers his pale, naked body slowly into the cauldren of semen. He rubs himself sensually, and his tiny white dick gets more and more erect.
>"KEK KEK KEK KEK" the chanting continues to roar on.
>Louis begins moaning and masturbating violently. Some white people in the audience are shocked, but when they try to leave they find the doors locked.
>Louis moans come out in a gasping sputter as his hands are a blur in his slimy crotch.
>Right as Louis reaches his climax, a black buck thrusts a huge horn resembling a BBC in front of Louis face. Louis puts it to his lips and....
>BRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>The sound of Louis orgasm echoes around the chamber, competing with the deafening chant of "KEK KEK KEK"
>Zulu warriors emerge from the shadows of the theatre,killing all the white males in the audience with spears. The white women blush with anticipation as they are dragged towards the stage, where dozens of black bucks await with massive, throbbing erections.
>At this point Louis is being spitroasted between the girths of two massive black men.
>He pulls his mouth off of one of the mans cocks with a *slluurpp* and grabs the mic. Panting, he says:
>LADIES AND GENTLEMAN,WELCOME TO THE INTERRACIAL BREEDING GROUNDS!

I am your real father.

The End